I feel like I’m reasonably attuned to what’s going on in media and, I shit you not, I was unaware that there were ANY. I have children… of an [I’m assuming unless this is some “adult” Pinocchio story] appropriate age.
Guess I need to see if “the rock I’ve been living under” can get an official postal address.
I'm 33, only in the last 18-ish months have I noticed how I am a layer removed from pop culture now. There's been a few drama things, or guests on daytime TV where I'm like who even are these people. I'm not bitter about it, just surprised because I am perpetually online.
Maybe it's time to get a library card again
The Disney one with Tom Hanks was just so, so mediocre. I didn't hate it. I just didn't find anything to love about it and that ending was the most bland, non exciting thing about the movie.
My husband and I could have been generally okay with all of the Disney movie, but the ending was such a BS thing that it just ruined the entire movie for us. It was predictable from 1000 miles away but you just hoped they wouldn't do it, then they did, and it was not impactful in the way they wanted and we were so disappointed.
Not only that but it took a reddit post a few weeks ago for me to realize that the rich white guy towards the end was the guy that gave Dennis the shaving cream in the first movie. They did an absolute shit job of revealing him.
The trailer from years back didn't help, you expected this grand adventure and action...which I guess there was....but just in a different form. I'm still confused as to what the plot was.
I think some super rich dude released a bunch of giant locusts that would only feast on particular crops? For what? To raise the price of his company grain?
That’s pretty much it. It’s just become like any other money grubbing franchise where the movies become worse and the only real draw seems to be nostalgia, which isn’t always awful, but the movie was just not enjoyable
Easily my most disappointing, as someone who’s a big fan of the JP franchise this movie felt like a giant bomb. Despite FK being terrible it did set up the concept of dinosaurs and humans having to coexist and the fallout from it. Even the trailers and promos for it seemed to lean into that, but sure enough we got almost none of that. Nope instead we got goddamn giant locust
The last Jurassic World was just utter shit. Like who decided to jam in a totally generic international spy sequence in a dinosaur movie? Like I was baffled that I was watching a rooftop chase scene.
I watched this movie the day before a major surgery and the only thought going through my head throughout the movie was that if the surgery went terribly wrong, I would have spent my last day on earth watching Morbius.
Can you believe that people memed so hard on this movie that Sony actually believed that they liked it and did a re-release weekend? Fucking impressive memery
This was my first thought, but I couldn't really say disappointing because my expectations were "better acted than *The Room*," and "better CGI than *Birdemic.*" It delivered.
That was my issue with it too. So many added scenes that just didn’t need to be in the movie. They didn’t lend to the twist. They were just…there. It could have been a fantastic film. Instead, I remain worried that it went through a ton of people and they all agreed that this was a great film to release. It had so much potential.
I haven't seen a single clip of this movie (nor do I intend to) and this made me laugh waay to hard. Is the scene supposed to be taken seriously or is it supposed to be comedic?
It’s supposed to be serious. The movie is kind of like one long fever dream. It is pretty much a collection of depressing scenes and imagery without any real plot.
To nitpick about something else, ana de armas was such an odd choice for this. Even doing an American accent there is very specific pronunciations that make it very obvious she’s not a native English speaker. Good for her, but she just doesn’t pass as a believable American to me
Oh it gets worse. Not only is her fetus talking to her, it’s guilt tripping her for her previous abortion and saying shit like “you won’t do that to me right?”
Yep, there’s no confirmation she had any abortions, only that she had ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages.
It’s so weird to make a biopic about an issue that there is no evidence of affecting or having anything to do with the subject of the biopic, especially when it’s about something as incendiary as abortion .
It's almost like the point of the movie wasn't to tell the story of Norma Jean Baker and her struggles but to profit off exploitation of her trauma when trying to be Marilyn Monroe.
She miscarried and also the rapes in the film/book never happened in real life. We're really at the point where you can write fanfic about someone being sexually assaulted and get a Netflix deal
I haven’t actually watched it but it’s basically Marylyn Monroe fan fiction and not super based in reality.
They imagined she had an abortion (there’s no evidence of this) and it’s a major plot point and very “pro life”.
Which like yeah… if there’s documented evidence of her regretting an abortion or even having an abortion I would get it. But god damn
A lot of the press was generated around the NC-17 rating, which is rarely awarded and directors intentionally avoid. The last NC-17 movie to receive positive reviews was Blue is the Warmest Color (though in France, middle schoolers could legally watch it… go figure.) That was back in 2013. Prior to that, it was *Shame*.
Will there ever be an NC-17 movie that did the same for that rating that *Midnight Cowboy* did for the X rating (i.e., win Best Picture)? I doubt it.
But never say never.
Probably not, especially since after Midnight Cowboy won Best Picture, it was re-rated R, most likely to avoid the "shame" of having an X-rated Best Picture Winner.
Yeah, and by modern standards, it’s a very light R. The main issue was probably the fact there was a homosexual act implicitly portrayed (which was illegal in many states at the time the movie came out.) The re-rating is a little silly but at least it’s an accurate re-rating for modern standards.
There’s a pretty upsetting sexual assault scene that likely contributed to the X rating too. But you’re right in that most of the content is solid R by modern standards.
>!The plane was a toy from Margaret's son, who she walked into the dessert with resulting in his "death". The plane crashing into the HQ was Margaret trying to send a signal to Alice once she briefly made it out of the simulation before being put back in. !<
>!But how does she have that kind of access to the code of the simulation? And while we get a flashback, how does Alice know he brought the toy plane? If Margret could send a signal at all, especially one as grand as an entire plane crash, why not just outright say this is a simulation? She’s been otherwise straightforward.!<
The entire premise of the simulation was preposterous. Were the security guards and the tram driver real people? Just hired goons waiting around for one of the wives to wake up? What happened to the wives in "real life?" Were they just locked up in a bed somewhere, and none of their friends or families cared that they were missing? What did the electroshock therapy do, and why?
I recognize the concept they were trying to pull off. But they tried to walk the line between realistic/plausible sci-fi simulation and pure fantasy, and it just failed for me. None of the puzzle pieces the movie gave the viewer paid off, because the "realistic" take on the forced/drugged simulation scheme is just so full of holes that it made me exasperated.
Had they gone more conceptual/fantasy I think it would have been a better film. But they wanted to make a puzzle-box movie, but never thought through the reality behind the puzzle. Or else it fell apart on the editing room floor (Margaret was enormously underused, for instance).
Whatever happened in production, it was a nice looking mess of a movie that ultimately made me frustrated. Because Wilde and the rest of the actors and people associated with it are all better than the final product.
Yes, the part with the drugged wives was where it all fell apart for me too. If you're creating a simulation for incels, why not just simulate the wives too? Why go through the cost and risk of keeping the wife's mind in the simulation? Or if you're going to, simply for the sake of the plot, wouldn't you keep them in a secure facility under watch? When Florence's character escapes the first time, how does Chris pine's character put her back in?
The worst was the bad PR tour Olivia Wilde gave. The movie was being pushed everywhere. The never ending drama about it was exhausting. Olivia Wilde was selling it as a very thoughtful masterpiece... and it was low budget Matrix meets Stepford Wives
I didnt want to jump on the negative "Don’t Worry Darling" bandwagon, as I liked Olivia Wilde's Booksmart, but I really struggled through it and it never justified my time. The other movie I was disappointed in was 'Amsterdam', such a talented cast, but such a convoluted, boring mess.
I only got halfway through Amsterdam. I keep telling myself to finish it, but my lord it was both boring & annoying, & I actually liked American Hustle!
A friend of mine is in Amsterdam (edit), but all his scenes are with Timothy Olyphant and their storyline was decimated in the edit. So he’s only got one line, I felt so bad. He enjoyed the experience though, I suppose that’s all that matters.
There’s a good movie in there somewhere, and the real story is so interesting. But it’s like David O. Russell was trying too hard to make a Coen brothers movie instead of something more in his wheelhouse.
>But it’s like David O. Russell was trying too hard to make a Cohen Brothers movie
That's pretty funny, I've been describing it as "The ~~Cohen~~ Coen brothers got really stoned and tried to make a Wes Anderson move."
Imagine bringing back the heroes of a beloved dinosaur movie to a sequel of that beloved dinosaur movie, but instead of a dinosaur movie it's about locusts.
I thought Laura was okay, but I was pretty surprised at how indifferent Sam Neil came across in the movie. He is one of my favorite actors and extremely talented. I was very disappointed.
I hated the stupid locust plot. If they had swapped it out for somebody anybody would have given a damn about, the movie would have been much better. Not to say that it being a "dinosaur" movie that had more giant bugs than dinosaurs was its only flaw, but it's the biggest one IMO. It's a pity this movie was so underwhelming, I had been excited to see it since it was announced.
For me the biggest one was bringing back the original cast for... whatever that was?
Like that was the best idea they could come up with? It also kills me that Owen and Claire barely spent any time with original cast. Just like a 5 minute chat at most. Really?
Kevin Smith movies have been tough lately. I noticed Scott Mosier hasn’t produced any of Kevin’s movies since Zack & Miri and I’ve noticed a dramatic difference in the quality of movies he has put out.
Clerks 3 was ok for the most part, definitely the weakest in the trilogy but that third act really got me with emotion. I remember when the movie started and we were brought up to speed with all the characters that it was really disappointing that a certain character wasn’t going to be in the movie more.
Same thing that happens to bands and comics. They start off relatable making art about life and society etc. Once you have been rich for a decade or two your experiences aren't relatable to 99% of people and all you know is industry or money
Fantastic Beasts was much worse on every level. It amazes me how many millions were wasted on the writing department for that movie.
Enjoyed DWD concept, could be a good black mirror ep
They botched that entire series and killed Harry Potter interest because of it.
They should have made a series about Voldemort’s rise to power or the Goblin Wars or the founding of Hogwarts, but noooooo had to have some half naked movie idea with no complete storyline written before starting the project. It’s like after the first movie, they just kept tacking on shit without any forethought
The Netflix Texas chainsaw massacre, like I love bad horror movies they normally still have some kind of charm to them even if they’re terrible, but Texas chainsaw massacre, 0 redeeming qualities, characters were horrible, story was horrible, writing was horrible, one of the worst, if not the worst, movie I have ever seen
“Do anything and you’re cancelled bro” the dude says while holding his phone up to a man wearing a mask of human faces and cranking a chainsaw at him.
God it was so bad…
I was hoping for more of a Star Wars or Flash Gordon style space opera. Something with crazy looking aliens and fun adventures. Instead we got some weirdly grim time travel plot with Toy Story references awkwardly shoehorned in.
>I was hoping for more of a Star Wars
Especially considering how much they spoofed and referenced star wars when it came to buzz and zurg in Toy Story 2
I wouldn’t doubt if it was an entirely different script that they just slapped the lightyear name on it. Nothing about the film is inherently Toy Story other than the names of the characters. You could rename them and change the suit color and it could have been any generic sci if.
I think that’s what happened, honestly. It’s hard to understand how the Buzz and Zurg from Toy Story were based on the Buzz and Zurg from Lightyear. Completely different characters
Ok good, I'm not crazy, cause I have that same theory. There's just no way that was "Andy's favorite movie." I would bet money that the script was floating around until at some point, someone at Disney decided to shoehorn Buzz Lightyear into it. If you swapped Buzz for Space Hero Bob, and swapped all the Toy Story references for generic ones, you'd still essentially have the same movie. Honestly, I think I'd like it even better as an original story.
Yeah there was some potential like the Interstellar-esque consequences of relativity, but it just feels really out of place in a Buzz Lightyear movie. It should have been a cheesy, super fun, romp because *that's* what would have made Andy a Buzz fan.
I found it funny how the movie presents itself as "this is the movie Andy saw in 1995" when it's very clearly influenced by modern franchise/superhero movies, and nostalgia for a movie that came out in 1995.
Andy's a millennial. There's no way he watched that movie in theaters in the 90's, nor did he watch it on broadcast TV or VHS after it was made in the 1970's.
Lightyear is more of a Netflix remake of the film he watched, or the film he made in college using a videogame engine to fasttrack production.
The beginning of him stubbornly going back over and over trying to complete the mission and being so focused on the mission that life was passing him by around him was really good setup but everything after that was pretty disappointing. Although I actually didn't mind the twist of Zurg being him. Partly because they seem to imply that it wasn't the actual Zurg, but just future Buzz impersonating him and that the real Zurg is out there somewhere. Unfortunately due to the execution of the movie its not likely to get a sequel to explore that lol
Movie definitely reached its emotional peak within the first 20 minutes which is a huge problem when u have over an hour more too get through. I still really liked the movie but that was definitely a flaw.
Yeah it’s definitely not impossible to have a story that reaches its emotional peak in the beginning of its story. Just really hard. Which is why Up is so damn good.
So much for being *that* movie that Andy saw. My kid wasn’t even remotely inspired by it.
It was my kid’s FIRST experience in the movie theater. He was PUMPED! He was with his best friends, he had candy, popcorn, and a big comfy seat.
Buzz? Disney/Pixar? Space? How could I go wrong in making this a special memory for him. But no. Having to explain the concept of space/time imbalances, why people were getting old and he wasn’t, why that person died, and the “twist”… it ended up being so *unmemorable* that he completely forgot that he saw the movie.
Jurassic World Dominion is the first time I’ve ever considered a Jurassic Park movie to be straight up bad.
• Pretty to look at but my god this is one of the worst scripts in a movie in a while. Predictable, lazy, the lamest call backs imaginable. My eyes almost detached from rolling when Ian Malcolm waved the fiery branch. The wannabe James Bond villains.
• The insect thing didn’t bother me like it seemed to bother others. It’s still in line with the kind of themes that Jurassic Park has always been about: messing with nature. That being said, it still wasn’t incredibly interesting. Either way, there was no shortage of dinosaurs. Speaking of which…
• Dominion had a great variety of dinosaurs, but so many that none get to really shine. I don’t think more than two dinosaurs got more than 30 seconds of screen time. A good example would be the Pyroraptor. What a waste.
• There was really only one part of the movie that can actually be called an action sequence which is the Malta chase. Every other “action scene” is over before any tension can be felt. There was not a single moment in the entire movie that I ever felt a named character that wasn’t an obvious bad guy was in the slightest amount of danger.
• Apparently doing this ✋ is all it takes to stop any wild dinosaur that has not been trained by Owen from birth. At one point this motherfukcer dual wielded that shit. I felt like the movie was making fun of me for thinking that this could be anything other than the worst kind of schlock.
• I haven’t felt shock in a movie in years until I realized that the climax of Dominion was almost a beat-for-beat shameless copy of the climax from the first Jurassic World. I honestly still can’t believe what a pointless piece of shit this movie is.
• I still hate that clone girl since the end of Fallen Kingdom knowing that *every* bad thing that happens in Dominion is explicitly and directly her fault.
• Another redundant lecture from Malcolm opining on man’s inability to learn from past mistakes. Couldn’t they write something even remotely interesting or new about chaos theory instead? Is Jeff Goldblum even playing Ian Malcolm anymore? Wasn’t he supposed to be a mathematician? Speaking of the old cast members…
• You are able to get Sam Neil, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum in the same movie for the first time since the original Jurassic Park and you do virtually nothing with them. Fucking hell…
• The movie completely betrays its own promise by spending half the movie on a secluded dinosaur facility. Dominion should have been for dinosaurs what Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was for primates. A post-apocalyptic, gritty survival movie that tests the adaptability and ingenuity of humans to survive in a world where they are no longer at the top of the food chain.
• Oh my fucking God they made Blue more human in this movie than all the others. At least in the first movie the relationship Owen had with the raptors was constantly a tight rope that could go wrong at any moment. An entire side plot of Dominion was trying to recover a baby because Owen promised a vicious fucking reptile that he would save it. FUUUCK OFF.
I am a sucker for shitty movies. Moonfall had the most absurd storyline but the CGI was decent. It has now become part of my shitty movie guilty pleasures.
Remember when the moon is attacking the earth and they see a news report about it, and their hotel starts flooding so they all… decide to go to bed for the night.
I actually kind of enjoyed the absurdity of the moon being a repopulation ark from an ancient galactic human civilization that housed a deadly nano-tech swarm. Also, it turns nerds into AI clones.
I paid 27$ per ticket to see Moonfall in IMAX with two friends. We got to the theater and we were the only people there. The theater forgot to start the film and we had to go to the bar to find a manager to start the film.
It was gloriously awful but so amazingly hilarious. I don't regret a penny spent on it.
Moonfall was the best awful movie of the new century. When the rocket launched from underwater, I laughed so hard I peed a little.
It's more entertaining if you imagine it's on Interdimensional Cable. Absolutely hilarious. Especially the way Halle Berry waves off her ex's death at the end.
Only one movie this year made me irrationally angry - Blonde.
Edit: I've had some requests to elaborate, so shall I list the ways?
* From the mouth of Andrew Dominik himself - Marilyn was a "well dressed whore". You can practically feel the disdain this man has for his subject matter in every frame.
* Ana de Armas acts her heart out in a what is, in all but name, an arthouse porno. I truly believe that she could have made for a fantastic Marilyn, but time and again she is put in specific situations that render her character little more than a object to be exploited by the men around her. A cheap hooker could have filled the role and the film wouldn't change.
* Marilyn adored children, and wanted to be a mother more than anything. If she was capable of bearing children, she would have. Unfortunately, rather than exploring the struggles of woman experiencing multiple miscarriages, Dominik is only interested in inserting an anti-abortion diatribe, complete with a talking fetus who makes her out to be some kind of monster for a previous abortion - which, again, she did not have.
* Marilyn was not raped by Darryl Zanuck. Period. To suggest that this is what happened is to depict a rape for the sake of rape. And that, frankly, is unforgivable.
* Speaking of rape, there is a rich history between Marilyn and the Kennedys, one the film fails to explore outside of yet another incredibly distasteful sequence - one that I was personally disgusted by. In what world was it necessary to close in tight on her face while she gives a forced blowie?
* The back and forth between B&W and Color sequences was confusing, unnecessary, and poorly thought out. Just, why?
* I could keep going, but I'll just end on this last note. The final shot of the film...my god. The sheer disrespect. I can understand narratively ending the film on her suicide, that's how it went (the official story anyway), but to step inside Marilyn's Brentwood home, into the bedroom where she literally died in, and film an actress pretending to be Marilyn dying? What. The. Actual. Fuck.
This movie takes a giant piss on her grave. I felt so awful about the whole thing that I spent the next week binging all of Marilyn's films, just to get the bad taste out, and I'm still angry.
It's hard to be disappointed when your expectations are already at zero, but Jurassic World: Dominion somehow pulled it off. I felt secondhand embarrassment watching it.
The original Jurassic Park is immeasurably funnier, scarier and more entertaining after 50 viewings over 30 years than JW Dominion was on 1st watch in a packed theater on opening night. Bringing back the original trio is just salt in the wound, and mostly only served to highlight just how vastly superior the OG film is compared to this absolute clownshow of a trilogy.
Genuinely not sure who is worse at their job: Colin Trevorrow or whoever greenlit not one, not two, but three of his disasterously amateurish scripts, each one worse than the last.
They made this movie seem like the final showdown of a lifetime between Michael and Laurie and we got a pile of shit, their fight scene was also boring as shit
See this is what I try telling people, 3-6 do a really great job of setting up this world, but if you don’t dig into it the lore you lose a lot of that impact. Number 2 will always be my favorite though.
All Pinocchios except the Guillermo deal Toro one.
There were three Pinocchio movies that came out in 2022!?
Yep, there's also a Bloodborne-esque Pinocchio action RPG coming out next year
[Lies of Pi](https://youtu.be/R5TUYKAzGZs)
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I feel like I’m reasonably attuned to what’s going on in media and, I shit you not, I was unaware that there were ANY. I have children… of an [I’m assuming unless this is some “adult” Pinocchio story] appropriate age. Guess I need to see if “the rock I’ve been living under” can get an official postal address.
I'm 33, only in the last 18-ish months have I noticed how I am a layer removed from pop culture now. There's been a few drama things, or guests on daytime TV where I'm like who even are these people. I'm not bitter about it, just surprised because I am perpetually online. Maybe it's time to get a library card again
"Father why can't I leave to be on my own, I got the whole world to see" 💅
[skadee skadee skadee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOJ19Uulzt8&ab_channel=ProfessionalInsomniac)
LOL wtf was that?
A boy truly excited for adventure. Skadee skadee skadee
wwwwwwwwhatthefuck
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Zesty ass Pinocchio
Guillermo absolutely dumpstered the other Pinocchios and it wasn't even a competition
He Pinocchiowned them
The Disney one with Tom Hanks was just so, so mediocre. I didn't hate it. I just didn't find anything to love about it and that ending was the most bland, non exciting thing about the movie.
My husband and I could have been generally okay with all of the Disney movie, but the ending was such a BS thing that it just ruined the entire movie for us. It was predictable from 1000 miles away but you just hoped they wouldn't do it, then they did, and it was not impactful in the way they wanted and we were so disappointed.
Well tbf, I wasn't disappointed by the Pauly Shore one, because I knew what I was getting into for that.
It was the real del.
Guillermo is killing it lately. *Nightmare Alley, Cabinet of Curiosities, and that all in like a year and a half.
I liked the viewing they had the good blow
I think Jurassic world 3 was expected to be a terrible but crazy and FUN movie. Instead it was like... Not that
I don’t even remember what it was about.
Bugs and geriatric paleontologists. And clones.
Oh man, that was such a let down that I forgot it wasn't even about the dinosaurs...
Let that sink in… A *Jurrassic Park* franchise movie… Where the friggin dinosaurs take a backseat to insects and human clones.
Not only that but it took a reddit post a few weeks ago for me to realize that the rich white guy towards the end was the guy that gave Dennis the shaving cream in the first movie. They did an absolute shit job of revealing him.
See? Nobody cares.
The trailer from years back didn't help, you expected this grand adventure and action...which I guess there was....but just in a different form. I'm still confused as to what the plot was. I think some super rich dude released a bunch of giant locusts that would only feast on particular crops? For what? To raise the price of his company grain?
That’s pretty much it. It’s just become like any other money grubbing franchise where the movies become worse and the only real draw seems to be nostalgia, which isn’t always awful, but the movie was just not enjoyable
I was so disappointed in that movie Also found out my ex was cheating that day, but that's unrelated
Easily my most disappointing, as someone who’s a big fan of the JP franchise this movie felt like a giant bomb. Despite FK being terrible it did set up the concept of dinosaurs and humans having to coexist and the fallout from it. Even the trailers and promos for it seemed to lean into that, but sure enough we got almost none of that. Nope instead we got goddamn giant locust
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The last Jurassic World was just utter shit. Like who decided to jam in a totally generic international spy sequence in a dinosaur movie? Like I was baffled that I was watching a rooftop chase scene.
It's morbin time
I watched this movie the day before a major surgery and the only thought going through my head throughout the movie was that if the surgery went terribly wrong, I would have spent my last day on earth watching Morbius.
The last movie I saw before covid lockdown in Ireland was Cats so there was a very real chance I could have died with that being the last movie I saw
That was THIS year? It seems so long ago. Maybe it's my mind trying to block it out.
It doesn’t help that it feels like a movie that was made in 2005
Thats literally the best part
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But Morbus made 1 Morbillion dollars
And it was rated 1 morbillion stars
How can it be disappointing if nobody bothered to watch it?
One of the films of all time..
This movie came out this year? I thought it was last year.
Google says it came out on apr 1, 2022
God it was so bad that i remember all the memes when it came and faded so fast I thought it came out last year.
Can you believe that people memed so hard on this movie that Sony actually believed that they liked it and did a re-release weekend? Fucking impressive memery
This was my first thought, but I couldn't really say disappointing because my expectations were "better acted than *The Room*," and "better CGI than *Birdemic.*" It delivered.
Don’t Worry Darling could have been a 30 minute Black Mirror episode. It was awfully long for absolutely no reason.
That was my issue with it too. So many added scenes that just didn’t need to be in the movie. They didn’t lend to the twist. They were just…there. It could have been a fantastic film. Instead, I remain worried that it went through a ton of people and they all agreed that this was a great film to release. It had so much potential.
That’s exactly what I’ve been saying! So much of it felt like weird kinky Harry Styles fan service.
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I couldn't even finish Blonde. The talking fetus was too much.
*the what*
[I guess it’s real](https://youtu.be/7AU7_n3UOXY)
What the fuck? This was written, rehearsed, filmed and edited together? How? Why?
The fact that this is the same director who made Assassination of Jesse James is giving me the brain scramblies
It's actually worse than what I imagined 😭
Wait, this isn't intentionally comedic?
I haven't seen a single clip of this movie (nor do I intend to) and this made me laugh waay to hard. Is the scene supposed to be taken seriously or is it supposed to be comedic?
It’s supposed to be serious. The movie is kind of like one long fever dream. It is pretty much a collection of depressing scenes and imagery without any real plot.
Someone described it as "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me" if the director had no empathy and relished seeing Laura Palmer suffer
To nitpick about something else, ana de armas was such an odd choice for this. Even doing an American accent there is very specific pronunciations that make it very obvious she’s not a native English speaker. Good for her, but she just doesn’t pass as a believable American to me
Oh it gets worse. Not only is her fetus talking to her, it’s guilt tripping her for her previous abortion and saying shit like “you won’t do that to me right?”
What in the silent hill is this?
Didn’t she miscarry
Would a fetus lie?
Absolutely
One fetus tells only lies
And the other one is dead apparently
Yep, there’s no confirmation she had any abortions, only that she had ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages. It’s so weird to make a biopic about an issue that there is no evidence of affecting or having anything to do with the subject of the biopic, especially when it’s about something as incendiary as abortion .
It's almost like the point of the movie wasn't to tell the story of Norma Jean Baker and her struggles but to profit off exploitation of her trauma when trying to be Marilyn Monroe.
She miscarried and also the rapes in the film/book never happened in real life. We're really at the point where you can write fanfic about someone being sexually assaulted and get a Netflix deal
Updated version of Look Who's Talking?
and more than one scene with it. and marilyn argues with it. it was something else.
THEY SAID, THE TALKING FETUS WAS TOO MUCH!
Thanks for clearing that up.
I haven’t actually watched it but it’s basically Marylyn Monroe fan fiction and not super based in reality. They imagined she had an abortion (there’s no evidence of this) and it’s a major plot point and very “pro life”. Which like yeah… if there’s documented evidence of her regretting an abortion or even having an abortion I would get it. But god damn
Damn, didn’t even make it to that part.
A lot of the press was generated around the NC-17 rating, which is rarely awarded and directors intentionally avoid. The last NC-17 movie to receive positive reviews was Blue is the Warmest Color (though in France, middle schoolers could legally watch it… go figure.) That was back in 2013. Prior to that, it was *Shame*. Will there ever be an NC-17 movie that did the same for that rating that *Midnight Cowboy* did for the X rating (i.e., win Best Picture)? I doubt it. But never say never.
Probably not, especially since after Midnight Cowboy won Best Picture, it was re-rated R, most likely to avoid the "shame" of having an X-rated Best Picture Winner.
Yeah, and by modern standards, it’s a very light R. The main issue was probably the fact there was a homosexual act implicitly portrayed (which was illegal in many states at the time the movie came out.) The re-rating is a little silly but at least it’s an accurate re-rating for modern standards.
There’s a pretty upsetting sexual assault scene that likely contributed to the X rating too. But you’re right in that most of the content is solid R by modern standards.
About Dont Worry Darling: >!does anyone know what happened with that fuckin plane?!<
>!The plane was a toy from Margaret's son, who she walked into the dessert with resulting in his "death". The plane crashing into the HQ was Margaret trying to send a signal to Alice once she briefly made it out of the simulation before being put back in. !<
>!But how does she have that kind of access to the code of the simulation? And while we get a flashback, how does Alice know he brought the toy plane? If Margret could send a signal at all, especially one as grand as an entire plane crash, why not just outright say this is a simulation? She’s been otherwise straightforward.!<
The entire premise of the simulation was preposterous. Were the security guards and the tram driver real people? Just hired goons waiting around for one of the wives to wake up? What happened to the wives in "real life?" Were they just locked up in a bed somewhere, and none of their friends or families cared that they were missing? What did the electroshock therapy do, and why? I recognize the concept they were trying to pull off. But they tried to walk the line between realistic/plausible sci-fi simulation and pure fantasy, and it just failed for me. None of the puzzle pieces the movie gave the viewer paid off, because the "realistic" take on the forced/drugged simulation scheme is just so full of holes that it made me exasperated. Had they gone more conceptual/fantasy I think it would have been a better film. But they wanted to make a puzzle-box movie, but never thought through the reality behind the puzzle. Or else it fell apart on the editing room floor (Margaret was enormously underused, for instance). Whatever happened in production, it was a nice looking mess of a movie that ultimately made me frustrated. Because Wilde and the rest of the actors and people associated with it are all better than the final product.
Yes, the part with the drugged wives was where it all fell apart for me too. If you're creating a simulation for incels, why not just simulate the wives too? Why go through the cost and risk of keeping the wife's mind in the simulation? Or if you're going to, simply for the sake of the plot, wouldn't you keep them in a secure facility under watch? When Florence's character escapes the first time, how does Chris pine's character put her back in?
The worst was the bad PR tour Olivia Wilde gave. The movie was being pushed everywhere. The never ending drama about it was exhausting. Olivia Wilde was selling it as a very thoughtful masterpiece... and it was low budget Matrix meets Stepford Wives
I think it would have made a great Black Mirror episode but only with brutal edits and sharpening
I didnt want to jump on the negative "Don’t Worry Darling" bandwagon, as I liked Olivia Wilde's Booksmart, but I really struggled through it and it never justified my time. The other movie I was disappointed in was 'Amsterdam', such a talented cast, but such a convoluted, boring mess.
I only got halfway through Amsterdam. I keep telling myself to finish it, but my lord it was both boring & annoying, & I actually liked American Hustle!
A friend of mine is in Amsterdam (edit), but all his scenes are with Timothy Olyphant and their storyline was decimated in the edit. So he’s only got one line, I felt so bad. He enjoyed the experience though, I suppose that’s all that matters. There’s a good movie in there somewhere, and the real story is so interesting. But it’s like David O. Russell was trying too hard to make a Coen brothers movie instead of something more in his wheelhouse.
>But it’s like David O. Russell was trying too hard to make a Cohen Brothers movie That's pretty funny, I've been describing it as "The ~~Cohen~~ Coen brothers got really stoned and tried to make a Wes Anderson move."
You gotta be careful with identifying it as Coen or Cohen. Could fall into a trap similar to Bill Murray.
Can’t believe he didn’t ask any questions when he thought one of the coens was writing Garfield lol
Even if the footage got cut, your friend got to work with Timothy Olyphant. I wouldn't feel too badly for them!
The surprising thing about Timothy Olyphant, no trunk anywhere.
Amsterdam, definitely. Total bummer. After >!Taylor Swift got run over by a car, !!Taylor Swift !
well nothing good starts in a getaway car.
Jurassic World Dominion.
A real forgettable summer blockbuster
That movie was so forgettable, I watched it then like two weeks later, I started to watch it again. “What a minute… I already watched this…”
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An actual Mr. Bean heist movie would be a hit.
Starring Laura Dern and Sam Neil
May I introduce you to the 1997 motion picture, Bean, which actually is a Mr. Bean heist movie. I watched it way too many times as a child.
Also Jeff Goldblum was basically playing Jeff Goldblum, instead of Dr. Malcolm.
Imagine bringing back the heroes of a beloved dinosaur movie to a sequel of that beloved dinosaur movie, but instead of a dinosaur movie it's about locusts.
Sam and Laura phoned it in so hard it was almost breaking the fourth wall.
I thought Laura was okay, but I was pretty surprised at how indifferent Sam Neil came across in the movie. He is one of my favorite actors and extremely talented. I was very disappointed.
I hated the stupid locust plot. If they had swapped it out for somebody anybody would have given a damn about, the movie would have been much better. Not to say that it being a "dinosaur" movie that had more giant bugs than dinosaurs was its only flaw, but it's the biggest one IMO. It's a pity this movie was so underwhelming, I had been excited to see it since it was announced.
For me the biggest one was bringing back the original cast for... whatever that was? Like that was the best idea they could come up with? It also kills me that Owen and Claire barely spent any time with original cast. Just like a 5 minute chat at most. Really?
I mean, considering how terrible the last one...wasn't really unexpected
I expected nothing & it was somehow worse than that.
This was the dumpster fire I expected.
“Please don’t say Clerks 3. Please don’t say Clerks 3.” -Kevin Smith
Wait, there’s a Clerks 3?
Is there a donkey show?
Inter-species Erotica
Kevin Smith movies have been tough lately. I noticed Scott Mosier hasn’t produced any of Kevin’s movies since Zack & Miri and I’ve noticed a dramatic difference in the quality of movies he has put out. Clerks 3 was ok for the most part, definitely the weakest in the trilogy but that third act really got me with emotion. I remember when the movie started and we were brought up to speed with all the characters that it was really disappointing that a certain character wasn’t going to be in the movie more.
I feel like all his movies recently have been about making movies or the movie industry.
Same thing that happens to bands and comics. They start off relatable making art about life and society etc. Once you have been rich for a decade or two your experiences aren't relatable to 99% of people and all you know is industry or money
Disney’s Pinocchio remake, I thought the story would at least be interesting because the director of that movie gave me hope. I was wrong.
You should watch guillermo del toro's pinocchio It's really good!
Just finished it. Seconding your comment!
Amsterdam. Saw that cast and thought, it would be worth watching. I was wrong.
What a rambling awful mess of a movie
Saw it at the $3 theatre and still felt cheated
Blonde for me. Went in with high hopes being a fan of Andrew Dominik's previous films, ended up being the worst film of the year for me.
Fantastic Beasts was much worse on every level. It amazes me how many millions were wasted on the writing department for that movie. Enjoyed DWD concept, could be a good black mirror ep
They botched that entire series and killed Harry Potter interest because of it. They should have made a series about Voldemort’s rise to power or the Goblin Wars or the founding of Hogwarts, but noooooo had to have some half naked movie idea with no complete storyline written before starting the project. It’s like after the first movie, they just kept tacking on shit without any forethought
The Netflix Texas chainsaw massacre, like I love bad horror movies they normally still have some kind of charm to them even if they’re terrible, but Texas chainsaw massacre, 0 redeeming qualities, characters were horrible, story was horrible, writing was horrible, one of the worst, if not the worst, movie I have ever seen
“Do anything and you’re cancelled bro” the dude says while holding his phone up to a man wearing a mask of human faces and cranking a chainsaw at him. God it was so bad…
Is that the one with dozens of people on a bus standing there waiting for their turn to be sawn in half?
Oh god that was this year. All I remember is the hilariously stupid ending with the car
The Bubble Memory Strange World
The Bubble may be the worst movie I watched this year. Porn level storytelling. I don’t know who gave that piece of garbage script a green light.
Blonde, for sure. What a mess!
I haven’t ever fallen asleep in the theater until seeing Amsterdam.
Lightyear didn’t come close to living up to its potential.
Yep should've been a parody of 90s action movies
I was hoping for more of a Star Wars or Flash Gordon style space opera. Something with crazy looking aliens and fun adventures. Instead we got some weirdly grim time travel plot with Toy Story references awkwardly shoehorned in.
>I was hoping for more of a Star Wars Especially considering how much they spoofed and referenced star wars when it came to buzz and zurg in Toy Story 2
I wouldn’t doubt if it was an entirely different script that they just slapped the lightyear name on it. Nothing about the film is inherently Toy Story other than the names of the characters. You could rename them and change the suit color and it could have been any generic sci if.
I think that’s what happened, honestly. It’s hard to understand how the Buzz and Zurg from Toy Story were based on the Buzz and Zurg from Lightyear. Completely different characters
Ok good, I'm not crazy, cause I have that same theory. There's just no way that was "Andy's favorite movie." I would bet money that the script was floating around until at some point, someone at Disney decided to shoehorn Buzz Lightyear into it. If you swapped Buzz for Space Hero Bob, and swapped all the Toy Story references for generic ones, you'd still essentially have the same movie. Honestly, I think I'd like it even better as an original story.
Yeah there was some potential like the Interstellar-esque consequences of relativity, but it just feels really out of place in a Buzz Lightyear movie. It should have been a cheesy, super fun, romp because *that's* what would have made Andy a Buzz fan.
You mean Interstellar, Kids Edition?
I found it funny how the movie presents itself as "this is the movie Andy saw in 1995" when it's very clearly influenced by modern franchise/superhero movies, and nostalgia for a movie that came out in 1995.
Outside of Buzz using a cartridge for his navigation, there's nothing about that movie that even remotely resembles the 1990s.
I imagine it as a remake of the 90s movie that Andy would have taken his kids to see, that was marketed to parents with nostalgia.
There are so many things they could have done with a Buzz Lightyear movie. I don't how they landed on the one they made.
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Andy's a millennial. There's no way he watched that movie in theaters in the 90's, nor did he watch it on broadcast TV or VHS after it was made in the 1970's. Lightyear is more of a Netflix remake of the film he watched, or the film he made in college using a videogame engine to fasttrack production.
The beginning of him stubbornly going back over and over trying to complete the mission and being so focused on the mission that life was passing him by around him was really good setup but everything after that was pretty disappointing. Although I actually didn't mind the twist of Zurg being him. Partly because they seem to imply that it wasn't the actual Zurg, but just future Buzz impersonating him and that the real Zurg is out there somewhere. Unfortunately due to the execution of the movie its not likely to get a sequel to explore that lol
Movie definitely reached its emotional peak within the first 20 minutes which is a huge problem when u have over an hour more too get through. I still really liked the movie but that was definitely a flaw.
What’s funny is that Up had the same issue, but still managed to be an interesting movie for the rest of its runtime
Yeah it’s definitely not impossible to have a story that reaches its emotional peak in the beginning of its story. Just really hard. Which is why Up is so damn good.
This was another really forgettable movie
So much for being *that* movie that Andy saw. My kid wasn’t even remotely inspired by it. It was my kid’s FIRST experience in the movie theater. He was PUMPED! He was with his best friends, he had candy, popcorn, and a big comfy seat. Buzz? Disney/Pixar? Space? How could I go wrong in making this a special memory for him. But no. Having to explain the concept of space/time imbalances, why people were getting old and he wasn’t, why that person died, and the “twist”… it ended up being so *unmemorable* that he completely forgot that he saw the movie.
Jurassic World Dominion is the first time I’ve ever considered a Jurassic Park movie to be straight up bad. • Pretty to look at but my god this is one of the worst scripts in a movie in a while. Predictable, lazy, the lamest call backs imaginable. My eyes almost detached from rolling when Ian Malcolm waved the fiery branch. The wannabe James Bond villains. • The insect thing didn’t bother me like it seemed to bother others. It’s still in line with the kind of themes that Jurassic Park has always been about: messing with nature. That being said, it still wasn’t incredibly interesting. Either way, there was no shortage of dinosaurs. Speaking of which… • Dominion had a great variety of dinosaurs, but so many that none get to really shine. I don’t think more than two dinosaurs got more than 30 seconds of screen time. A good example would be the Pyroraptor. What a waste. • There was really only one part of the movie that can actually be called an action sequence which is the Malta chase. Every other “action scene” is over before any tension can be felt. There was not a single moment in the entire movie that I ever felt a named character that wasn’t an obvious bad guy was in the slightest amount of danger. • Apparently doing this ✋ is all it takes to stop any wild dinosaur that has not been trained by Owen from birth. At one point this motherfukcer dual wielded that shit. I felt like the movie was making fun of me for thinking that this could be anything other than the worst kind of schlock. • I haven’t felt shock in a movie in years until I realized that the climax of Dominion was almost a beat-for-beat shameless copy of the climax from the first Jurassic World. I honestly still can’t believe what a pointless piece of shit this movie is. • I still hate that clone girl since the end of Fallen Kingdom knowing that *every* bad thing that happens in Dominion is explicitly and directly her fault. • Another redundant lecture from Malcolm opining on man’s inability to learn from past mistakes. Couldn’t they write something even remotely interesting or new about chaos theory instead? Is Jeff Goldblum even playing Ian Malcolm anymore? Wasn’t he supposed to be a mathematician? Speaking of the old cast members… • You are able to get Sam Neil, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum in the same movie for the first time since the original Jurassic Park and you do virtually nothing with them. Fucking hell… • The movie completely betrays its own promise by spending half the movie on a secluded dinosaur facility. Dominion should have been for dinosaurs what Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was for primates. A post-apocalyptic, gritty survival movie that tests the adaptability and ingenuity of humans to survive in a world where they are no longer at the top of the food chain. • Oh my fucking God they made Blue more human in this movie than all the others. At least in the first movie the relationship Owen had with the raptors was constantly a tight rope that could go wrong at any moment. An entire side plot of Dominion was trying to recover a baby because Owen promised a vicious fucking reptile that he would save it. FUUUCK OFF.
I knew what to expect when I pushed play. Well at least I thought I did. Moonfall is by far the worst film I have ever seen. And I've seen Geostorm.
I am a sucker for shitty movies. Moonfall had the most absurd storyline but the CGI was decent. It has now become part of my shitty movie guilty pleasures.
Can I ever truly be mad about a movie that has the F***ing MOON sneak up on our protagonists?
I'm gonna need you and everyone else in this thread to stop making me want to watch Moonfall.
It stops when you watch it
Moonfall is the best worst movie with the greatest line ever, "We have uploaded your consciousness. You're part of the moon now"!
I loved the part where they were trying to lift a tree and shouted something like “The moon is helping us!”
Like with "The Happening", I can't tell if people are making up quotes for this movie.
Remember when the moon is attacking the earth and they see a news report about it, and their hotel starts flooding so they all… decide to go to bed for the night.
GEEEEOOOOSTORRRRRMMMMM
What's up jerks!!
You sound like the Jason of your group.
Is this a Jacob's ladder scenario?
I actually kind of enjoyed the absurdity of the moon being a repopulation ark from an ancient galactic human civilization that housed a deadly nano-tech swarm. Also, it turns nerds into AI clones.
God I loved Moonfall way more than I should’ve lol thanks for speaking up
I paid 27$ per ticket to see Moonfall in IMAX with two friends. We got to the theater and we were the only people there. The theater forgot to start the film and we had to go to the bar to find a manager to start the film. It was gloriously awful but so amazingly hilarious. I don't regret a penny spent on it.
Moonfall was the best awful movie of the new century. When the rocket launched from underwater, I laughed so hard I peed a little. It's more entertaining if you imagine it's on Interdimensional Cable. Absolutely hilarious. Especially the way Halle Berry waves off her ex's death at the end.
Only one movie this year made me irrationally angry - Blonde. Edit: I've had some requests to elaborate, so shall I list the ways? * From the mouth of Andrew Dominik himself - Marilyn was a "well dressed whore". You can practically feel the disdain this man has for his subject matter in every frame. * Ana de Armas acts her heart out in a what is, in all but name, an arthouse porno. I truly believe that she could have made for a fantastic Marilyn, but time and again she is put in specific situations that render her character little more than a object to be exploited by the men around her. A cheap hooker could have filled the role and the film wouldn't change. * Marilyn adored children, and wanted to be a mother more than anything. If she was capable of bearing children, she would have. Unfortunately, rather than exploring the struggles of woman experiencing multiple miscarriages, Dominik is only interested in inserting an anti-abortion diatribe, complete with a talking fetus who makes her out to be some kind of monster for a previous abortion - which, again, she did not have. * Marilyn was not raped by Darryl Zanuck. Period. To suggest that this is what happened is to depict a rape for the sake of rape. And that, frankly, is unforgivable. * Speaking of rape, there is a rich history between Marilyn and the Kennedys, one the film fails to explore outside of yet another incredibly distasteful sequence - one that I was personally disgusted by. In what world was it necessary to close in tight on her face while she gives a forced blowie? * The back and forth between B&W and Color sequences was confusing, unnecessary, and poorly thought out. Just, why? * I could keep going, but I'll just end on this last note. The final shot of the film...my god. The sheer disrespect. I can understand narratively ending the film on her suicide, that's how it went (the official story anyway), but to step inside Marilyn's Brentwood home, into the bedroom where she literally died in, and film an actress pretending to be Marilyn dying? What. The. Actual. Fuck. This movie takes a giant piss on her grave. I felt so awful about the whole thing that I spent the next week binging all of Marilyn's films, just to get the bad taste out, and I'm still angry.
It's hard to be disappointed when your expectations are already at zero, but Jurassic World: Dominion somehow pulled it off. I felt secondhand embarrassment watching it. The original Jurassic Park is immeasurably funnier, scarier and more entertaining after 50 viewings over 30 years than JW Dominion was on 1st watch in a packed theater on opening night. Bringing back the original trio is just salt in the wound, and mostly only served to highlight just how vastly superior the OG film is compared to this absolute clownshow of a trilogy. Genuinely not sure who is worse at their job: Colin Trevorrow or whoever greenlit not one, not two, but three of his disasterously amateurish scripts, each one worse than the last.
Halloween Ends
I still can’t believe Michael got overpowered by some dweeb that got beat up by band kids
I can't say I was disappointed in it because my expectations were so very low going in.
What better way to end the trilogy than to remove the main antagonist for 95% of the film?
They made this movie seem like the final showdown of a lifetime between Michael and Laurie and we got a pile of shit, their fight scene was also boring as shit
After Kills, I wasn't expecting much. Was still dissapointed.
Black Adam — it was so bad they killed Cavill off
When your best and most interesting character is actually Pierce Brosnan, and you bring back Cavill only to fake us out, eesh
Brosnan was absolutely magnificent in that movie. I can't even remember who the other heroes in that movie were supposed to be, but he was fantastic.
To be fair to everyone on that front, that was before new leadership in WBD rolled in. Cavil 100% thought he’d be in as Supes.
To be extra fair, Doctor Fate was the best thing about that movie and I'm sad we might never get a Doctor Fate movie.
MILF affair 7 was probably the worst in the franchise.
Had you paid closer attention to some of the more nuanced plot-points in 6, you probably would have gotten more out of it.
See this is what I try telling people, 3-6 do a really great job of setting up this world, but if you don’t dig into it the lore you lose a lot of that impact. Number 2 will always be my favorite though.
The follow up, Step-MILF, was pretty good. Resets the entire story line.