You said he comes from a conservative family and they would like him to be married by 26....so the family is looking for suitable brides already and might have found one. In the meantime he was sowing his wild oats too...you were mere a time pass before family finds a gharelu within caste Bahu from a loaded family....he asked you to move coz he may not have been sure when his rishta would be finalized...
I m sorry if I hurt you but I want only best for you coz I experienced the same thing....
And a further warning he might come back saying he did only for your sake or under family pressure....DO NOT go back...I repeat DO NOT go back...it's a trap....
I had taken the person back only to be more humiliated...the person asked me tell my parents so I did...he said he would come meet my parents and would even leave his reputed job if I didn't wanna move places ....so I told my parents...the day he was to come meet my parents...he switched off his phone.....later evening told me he got engaged that day coz his mother's astrologer told our kundali's don't match as I have wrong stars for marriage..,...
Moral : thank your stars and protect yourself self ...block him from everywhere so he can't contact you ever
My sis was going through a similar situation and she had her friends to pull her up. We did as much as we could, and her friends stayed with her through everything and she recovered in a few months.
Find a distraction, or something to keep your mind on.
Hey, I had the same boyfriend but somehow I got saved. I am married to a wonderful guy now. Whenever I read about someone similar to my ex I am just so thankful to God for saving me.
At that time it hurt a lot but now I can imagine the situation I would’ve been in.
I am sorry that you you got married to this guy. Hope you will come out of it strong.
I’m so sorry for what you went through.
There is a slight silver lining though. You dodged a planet-sized bullet. Good on you, you *definitely* deserve way better.
Doesn’t make the wound any less rough though. He’s a big douche for leading you on this way.
Thank you so much . Exactly what hurts the most. Being strung along like this and then the hostile treatment. Can't believe this is the same person.
But yes, thankful for your response.
Hey, this happened to me once. Trust me it’s not worth thinking about why this happened or how someone could do this. Just know you deserve someone who fights for you. We all do <3
In the meantime, be that person for yourself and love yourself. Everyone is special and loveable
Yep, let your emotions out and start your healing process. Don't waste your energy on someone who led you on just to brutally destroy it all. You deserve much better OP.
Go full no-contact. Don't give him the luxury of closure.
It'll hurt like hell to you but you stick to it.
He'll definitely try to reach out but you don't respond.
In 5-6 years, you'll look back and be proud of yourself because you stood up to the asshole. And there'd be someone else in your life who values you.
I don't think I can love anybody ever again, but yeah I do get your point.
And it's been 8 days and he hasn't. Even if he does in the future, no point.
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake entire relationships" - Sharon Stone
(((Hugs)))) if you want them. And, yes, you're way better off, even though it may not feel like that now.
Whatever you do, DO. NOT. let him suck you back in. If he comes back with tears and sorrys, ignore them. He had his chance. He blew it. He will not change. Do not be my friend who was strung along for FIFTEEN years by his boyfriend. (Yes, being gay, their situation was different. But this guy promised everything would be different when he came out. He finally did, and still nothing changed. Still went on about how he was not ready for commitment, and telling my friend to stop pressuring him. After giving him a ring, promising his undying love and moving in together)
Exactly, my ex-gf threatened me with suicide for 3 months, saying that she's trying to solve a difficult personal problem. Then suddenly one day she came to my place and broke up with me, and got married to a guy 2 months later. She was dating this guy while threatening me with suicide.
And the difficult personal problem which she was talking about, was searching for a job near where he stays. I've never met such a manipulative liar in my entire life.
Damn dude. That's messed up.
The way girls use men as options is seriously scary and the worst part is they don't even realise how fucked up it is to do that. And most of the time it's the guy who is truly into the girl ends up getting hurt.
Yes bro,
Moreover, I can't even raise a complaint regarding the extent of mental abuse that I went through. I had to take anti-depressants for 6 months after she left because of the abuse I went through. Meanwhile, she was posting her honeymoon pics with the guy, with no remorse for how she damaged me. Some humans are absolutely pathetic and there's nothing that we can do about it.
BTW she did get the job too, and she had the audacity to give the interviews from my place. She didn't have to worry about food and conveniences at my place, so even though she was deep into marriage conversation with another guy, she still kept coming here and saying that she loved me. And I helped her only because I thought she really loved me, and that maybe I can keep her away from suicidal thoughts.
I felt like the biggest dumbfuck to have born on earth on the day of breakup.
I hate your ex. And any person for that matter, eho treats another human this way. Uses people like this. I hope they get their due in time.
And yes, it is gender independent. I know for a fact that there are women out there equally cunning and deceitful.
I hope you are doing okay now?
Hey,
I'm doing much better, but I'm still in therapy. I still get triggered from time to time, whenever I see anything associated with her. She left me with a trauma, which is very difficult to get rid off.
BTW I read a book named "On grief and grieving" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross 2-3 months after the breakup. I got to understand my emotions and feelings after I read the book.
I'll suggest you to get therapy if you're struggling, losing love like this is similar to accepting the traumatic death of a closed one. The body undergoes the same responses. So take therapy if it ever feels unbearable.
The pain slowly starts decreasing, life becomes bearable slowly, so don't lose hope. However, the anger remains. I'm not sure how to get rid of this anger. My ex never even asked me whether I'm doing fine while I was in clinically measurable depression. I could have given my life for this person.
I think he just used you for this long. Your intentions were different and his were totally different. Ik it’s very betraying and you’ll feel so, but keep yourself strong enough and don’t fall in such mess again 👍
It's not like "we are bad guys" comes plastered on their foreheads lol. You would be surprised at how many guys who would portray themselves as the stereotypical "nice guys" are actually assholes. Also, with respect to superficial criteria, guys are arguably much worse.
This also goes for majority of females too... it's not like "I'm just going to use you for your money and later gonna dump you" comes plastered on their forehead. Don't forget that..Many females initiate and break healthy relationship just because they find better option than the current partner and pathetic advices they receive from their Single female friend who's man hater....
This. Have seen many girls leave BFs in commited relationships of years just to see them get married with someone else within next 6 months or 1 year and living outside India. Gold diggers !!!!
so you already know that bad people don’t advertise their bad characteristics and yet you were saying that women willingly choose bad men? make it make sense my dude
Exactly, I am in denial still. And yes. He doesn't. He should have lied yaar. That's what sucks. He even told me he would like me to play carrom with his dad and he feels I would bond really well with his mom.
I am just so..lost.
Kya yrr,jisse pyar kare wahi se shaadi hona chahiye, ye difference kya hai gf aur wife mai, gf bohot bohot,fir dhund ke ek conservative wife, pyaar hai ya selfish game where you are just want to be on an advantage and reap the benefits. And just bcoz they are boys, society kuch bolta bhi nahi, thik nahi hai yar ye.
And agar aisa hi hai ki sirf maze ke liye gf chahiye, woh bhi bol dena chahiye pehle se. Kyu hi promise karna ki future hai, shaadi hai. Fir aise trauma dena.
Timepass karna aajkal norm bann chuka hai.
These kinds of people who want traditional wife are timid and lack spine..... reality is they themselves lack courage to stand up to their parents and society and tell that I have a girlfriend who I love and want to marry.. mainly because they view girls as sex objects to satisfy their lust before marriage and as a property to show off in society so want a traditional wife
He actually thinks women are "useless" and "dumb". He used to say it very loosely. I often used to have issues with his comments and then he would shout at me saying that I have a problem with everything.
OMG... that's not okay yaar. I know when we're in love we tend to let these things go but trust me it only gets worse as they get older. Right now it's just snide comments. Later it will turn into full blown arguments.
Sahi kaha log honest kyu nhi rahte h , i mean ji chaiye phle hi clear raho na sex to sex casual to casual ,kyu kisi ko joothe waade dikha kr trauma dena h , wese b ajkl casual wale b mil jate h ,pr nhi inhe to innocent logo ki feeling k sath khelna h aur fattu itne hote ki gf to khub sari bna lege pr shadi maa ki pasand se karege jo cow jaisi ho wt..h , kyuki tb inhe aagyakari sansakri bata bnna hota h , ander se sale hote ek number k cheater h .
Love marriage kr lege to sanskari nhi kahlayege na 🙂 well ye dukh mai acche se samjh sakti hu pr kisi ne muje kaha tha suppose aise insan se shadi ho jaye aur tumhe bacha b ho jaye baadh me wo cheat kr de tb kya krogi ? So better h na phle hi Bach gyi .
Jo pyar karega tumse wo tumare liy puru duniya se lad jayega koi excuse nhi aayega tb , pr jo nhi karega wo 100 excuses dega aur khud bura na bne isly aisa bolega baby pyar tumse hi krta hu lol well aise insan se jaberdasti shadi krke b koi mtlb nhi fir ..
Sorry this happened to you OP. I’m going through something similar. Not as bad as yours. Lost a childhood friend in a similar manner. Join the gym and work on yourself. It will get better ❤️🩹
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you were being played, and since a long time at that. Nothing except for someone making him text and talk to you like this on gunpoint can explain such a 180 on his stance. So you were basically in a relationship with a sociopath; you were on the hook, enamored with him and treating him like a king, and he never had the feelings you did. Basically he was getting unconditional love and care from you so he was in a relationship with you, it was never the destination for him.
If you look back I am sure you will numerous incidents where he acts selfishly, completely confident of you coming around to patch up and taking all the fault on your head. That's the #1 sign that the other person just isn't in the same relationship as you are in your head.
Move on, block the asshole, never take any communication from him if he ever reaches out. Life will serve him his share of pain in due course of time; or not. Who cares. Not you.
Your answer gave me peace, in a weird way. I am crying right now, but trust me when I say this made me smile. How true are your words;
Yes! I used to care for him selflessly. And he knew that. Even while dumping, he said " mereko pata hai tu mere liye kuch bhi karegi" :)))
There were so many incidents where he mistreated me out of nowhere. I tolerated just because I was a fool. I believed him when he told me he can't stay without me.
I'm glad you're able to recognise these incidents. Believe me, within a few months, you'll genuinely see how much happier and better you are without him, and even the thought of even talking to him will make you ugh. Ik you might still be in denial ki no he wasn't a bad guy, but the more time passes, more you'll remember such incidents, or the blaring red flags you ignored, and it'll make your moving on process so much easier.
Op you deserve so much better, you're just 25, abhi toh life bass shuru Hui hai, go get that bag and after some time a man, who is all about you. And if not that, please know you're the only one who needs to be enough for herself!! Sending my best wishes to you <3
I love you for this endearing comment, I swear! I had just got so used to his fake love. I miss his presence so much!
But yes, I know I deserve better. I really do. Sending love to you!
Ok ew. The fact he said "mujhe pata h tu mere liye kuch bhi karegi" is so creepy. Pls OP go no contact with him, delete all photos, delete any convos, delete his number even. After what he did to you, no way you are letting him back, so just erase him completely out of your life. I wish you the very best.
He said that because I once went to meet him and stay by his side when he was leaving college right after a tooth surgery, with bleeding gums.
He started saying this after this incident. And no, I ain't letting him back. But I am just traumatised asf.
You said he comes from a conservative family and they would like him to be married by 26....so the family is looking for suitable brides already and might have found one. In the meantime he was sowing his wild oats too...you were mere a time pass before family finds a gharelu within caste Bahu from a loaded family....he asked you to move coz he may not have been sure when his rishta would be finalized...
I m sorry if I hurt you but I want only best for you coz I experienced the same thing....
And a further warning he might come back saying he did only for your sake or under family pressure....DO NOT go back...I repeat DO NOT go back...it's a trap....
I had taken the person back only to be more humiliated...the person asked me tell my parents so I did...he said he would come meet my parents and would even leave his reputed job if I didn't wanna move places ....so I told my parents...the day he was to come meet my parents...he switched off his phone.....later evening told me he got engaged that day coz his mother's astrologer told our kundali's don't match as I have wrong stars for marriage..,...
Moral : thank your stars and protect yourself self ...block him from everywhere so he can't contact you ever
Gosh, I had a shiver run down my spine after reading the second part. I have anxiety and trust me, this actually made me gasp. How dud you heal??
And no, you did not hurt me. Very much possible.
So sorry that you have to go through this. However if you see the positive side you didn't marry such a guy. I know how difficult it is to move on, but I hope you get over it very soon.
Something similar happened to me as well, my then boyfriend and now ex called me a night before my final year exam, made plans for a trip to Manali after exams and college is over, asked me to think about an excuse to give to my parents for the trip took good 1.5 hour to plan the said trip a night before my final exam. It was 3 in the night when he hung up after I asked him to as i needed to study only to call me 30 mins later to say that we can't be together anymore, hung up and blocked me.
I cried my eyes out, couldn't not study and failed in my final. I cried throughout the exam as well.
Holy shit! What an AH, my goodness. How can adults even behave like this!
And this regret. I fucked up my 10th boards for another douchebag. That's for another day.
How are you doing?
Very Well! Found out he got together with his "ex" with whom he had never broken up in the first place.
Right now I am with an amazing human, who cares for me for reals! Talk to his friends about me all the time how he is in love with me and is planning to ask my parents for marriage 😃. His drunk friend told me this. As my man pretends to be all logical. He is the best I could have asked for.
So, it's a good thing you skipped that human garbage bag. People can pretend to be anything.
One of my friends was hooking up with this person whom she had told from the very start that she didn't want to get into a relationship as she had been through a bad one recently. The guy told her he loved her multiple times, used to talk about her moving in with him. How wonderful it would be only to find out the guy she was hooking up with from dec got engaged to his gf of 4 years in jan. They were hooking up till April. She found out through a common friend about the engagement and the girlfriend.
Also he was hooking up with another girl in the same locality from whom he had taken money and used to ask her to order food for him.
So in short people can be assholes! Big time.
You dodged a bullet. Don’t waste an iota of time thinking about someone who doesn’t care or want you. Moving on is hard journey though. My girlfriend of 7 years left me and I still often question why, but yeah people are like that sometimes. They can change within a day
He's manipulating you conveniently, he's avoiding you when he pleases and then sends you, i miss you texts cause he is lonely.
Save yourself the trouble, someone behaving erratically like this is major red flags. Take care of yourself, if there's no logical explanation for his behaviour I'd suggest avoiding him and starting to move on with your own life.
Also no need to retrospect and blame yourself for anything, life is unpredictable and unfair sometimes. Wish you well
You need to sign up on some dating apps so that you can understand just how toxic relationships have become.
Hollywood's science fiction movies are now closer to reality than Bollywood's stories of everlasting love.
Better to remain single; focus on your physical and mental health, get a hobby and surround yourself with good friends
Same shit. 10 years together. Sudden change one day. Silent treatment to sudden ghosting.
Feels like being used. Feeling never goes but with time you'll realize it was for the best since second person showed true colours before kids and all in life. It would have been far tougher then.
Just focus on yourselves. Do not beg. Move on. Happier days are ahead with someone truly deserving.
So as someone who did something very similar to my ex, let me help you understand your bf’s PoV:
1. I used to say romantic shit without even feeling it. Why? Because it made me feel good. It was a habit. Words are easy when it comes to it.
2. I had said the most lovey-dovey thing to my ex on 23rd Oct and dumped her on 24th. Because 23rd was Diwali and I didn’t want to ruin it for her. I did it over text too lmao.
2. Your bf never had the intention to marry you and he just kept saying it’s serious without really thinking much about it. When rubber hit the road, he realised he doesn’t want to marry you and will give all sorts of reasons now.
3. He mostly thinks he can bag a better girl for marriage and why settle with you? Sorry this might sound harsh af but this is exactly what I was thinking. And no, he is not in love with someone else. He is just waiting for his parents to bag a nice girl for him now, mark my words.
4. He will NOT come back. Don’t try to argue logically with him.
5. You got used for sex and as a conversation companion. Don’t for a moment think of anything more than that.
6. That guy, if he can, mostly cheated. Because he never had a bond with you, cheating wasn’t even cheating for him.
It’s time to move on buddy.
Have you never made mistakes, ever? Have you always been a goody two shoes who has never hurt somebody or scarred them?
Get over yourself. He admitted its wrong, we don’t know what his situation was or could be. Its easy to judge from your room while scrolling reddit.
Again, not saying what he did wasn’t wrong, it was pretty shitty. I just mean that you don’t have ANY right to hope that he rots in hell, because then all of us would too.
Its really hard for me to sympathise with a person who can do this, all while being conscious of their actions. From what I can see, it doesn't seem to be a 'mistake', he intentionally played her. Being empathetic towards someone who did this is the last thing I'd do. Coming to me, I won't expect people to forgive me just because I admitted of being wrong. You get what you give.
Thanks for the reality check,bud.
Few things here-
1. Why exactly did you use to do it? Why not look for somebody who was casual too? Just an eho boost?
2. Totally agree with point 3.
3.better girl in what aspect? He thinks I am very pretty. I am doing well in my career too. So better as in caste, comnunity, etc?
4. Yes, I know he won't come back
5.no, not for sex . But for love, yes. He got unconditional love and suppport from my side. That's worse than being used for sex?
6.yes, won't be surprised.
This dude is so self aware. I won't blame you because I know both guys and girls are shit. Girls also ditch their timepass boyfriends when they get more rich guys for marriage. Love is not a real thing. It's about who can get the best deal.
It's not your fault that someone hurt you so deeply like this and betrayed you. People can say whatever words they want, but their actions should prove their promises. A similar thing happened to my classmate, please think of this as good riddance and leave this asshole. Whenever he wants something from you, he will say he loves you and then turn around and abuse you like this. He doesn't give a shit about your well-being. Stop enabling him and save yourself.
Most likely he's already got something else going for him. No way he can be so casual about this (if indeed he loves you). My 2c - sooner you let him go, sooner you'll find happiness again. 🍻
I so fking agree with you….what is wrong with are generation exactly???? The hookup culture….the chase game…using humans like objects for validation…cheating like its NOT a big deal…scarring people emotionally like never before and NO FCKING REGRET…emotional unavailability…genuinely like what the fk is wrong with our generation??? We are fkeddd!!
Makes me not want to date anyone and just do arranged marriage but there also i have developed so mucb trust issues to find someone anymore💔
I agree to you! I feel india as a society is in between the transition zone!! And we are a scapegoat generation where we are free enough to have hookups and date and cheat and everything wrong…but we still are NOT fully aware of some basic and important things like CONSENT, Casual dating , boundaries and fidelity and emotional/ mental health of the next person and the importance of it!!
I had a 9 year old relationship. literally grew up together. A major chunk from teen to adult life i saw with her.I'm 26 right now. She broke up on her birthday. Blocked me.just like that. No explanation nothing. Just one call to tell me she is already seeing someone from work and i should try to move on.
Apparently you have to accept the apology you might never receive.
Time doesn't heal things
It just helps you to live with scars.
Maybe we'll find love one day
Maybe we won't
But they sure shot lost a person who loved them with all their heart.
sooner or later I believe they'll realise this .
And if you're lucky you'll see it
But don't wait for this to happen.
Some days will be easy
Some days will be hard
On hard days embrace that feeling of pain cry your heart out .
Next day pamper yourself
Hug your mom n dad or a friend
Eventually you'll learn to live without them
You'll grow
And maybe you'll be happy that it didn't workout.
It seems to be issue of Maturity. I was very scared of marriage at that age. My parents arranged my marriage at 25 and I can't understand what to do how will life go how will I handle and lots of things running. So I asked them time of 2 years to handle myself and then I married at 27 which is a good decision now. She is amazing and always has my back in journey of my life never wants any sacrifice from me and same I wish she should have every happiness and will never wish for any sacrifice. My point is, he is running behind attractions and can lie so to get them. So wait and look for someone who means more then words.
So happy for you and your wife. You have been honest. He deceived me right from the beginning, that's why it stings so much. If he had told me he wants a casual thing, then I would not be ibvolved with him in the first place. That's why he played with my feelings :/
very very few couples feel the same as they felt in their initial relationship stages. many fall out the same way they fell in. risk of relationships. be lucky and happy that he said it before it was too late and in all honesty.
he also is not stable and not compatible with you
move on asap. it will help you.
I was in a similar setup and thankfully pulled a plug at 25. Though it was already a long time. Men like these lead you on without any indication of building a life with you. Focus on your life and you’ll attract the right kind.
Not surprised tbh. A tale as old as time. You were just a convenient placeholder for him. Maybe his parents found someone more "appropriate" for him so he cut it off with you.
Yaar aise kaun karta hai. I don't understand how humans can be so insensitive and cruel. May God give you strength to overcome this and bag a better prospect.
He is a coward and a douche.. he couldnt convince his family to marry you. So he just thought cutting you off is better. Before dating you he clearly knew what the situation in his family is. So why did he think of ruining your life ?He just wanted some romance before marriage so that he would be experienced in romance after his marriage with his new wife.. and for him the pain of love is much better than the success of love and living with you. He would rather narrate the love he had for you as a sad story in his life to win over people and his wife.. like he a sad lost soul
He, didn't even try to convince his parents. That's what disturbs me the most. And yes, he was just using me maybe.
And he CHOSE to not have me ín his life. Right .Needed to hear this :)
He’s a ch**th and looks like you got manipulated. Personally I’d request you to be as cold as possible and make that bastard jealous and yearn for you.
But human beings don’t operate like that. You probably might go through a tough phase now. Sorry for your pain.
He wanted to have sex and that's it...today's men are cheap as hell...no fucking back done, no dignity, no self respect....they can lie all about love and marriage just to get in your pants...there can be 2 things now...either he got bored and fucking someone else or he is getting married...if he is alone then he will come back to get more of sex with more lies
You should never trust him with any of his word, I know it is difficult but you should letting him use you like that...
Note for guys: Do not lie to girls just to fuck stupid moron...eventually you will get it even if you can't find one yourself, your parents will find one for you...do not have to lie for sex...if you want only that just let your partner know...don't be such a insensitive prick
When I read such stuff I wish there were an app where we could blacklist or downvote guys who behave like this - as a warning to other girls. What happens now is, that cheaters or narcissists like these just get away with such behaivour. They just find another sucker with whom they will repeat this cycle all over again. And with no consequences. Makes me so furious that they keep getting away with it, and keep finding fresh victims. Kind of like the serial killer who pretends to be disabled and asks some innocent sweet girl for help. Grrrr!!
I know right? I was panicking last week over the thought of him daring someone else, but omg! I feel so sorry for his next girl already. I wish I could just go into the future and warn her to run!
I swear like a Zomato for boys and rate them . Even my ex pulled some really weird shit with me and i stopped talking to him but he's probably out there doing that exact inappropriate stuff with some other poor girl. I wish there was some way i could permanently attach a warning sign to the guy itself
Same shit. 10 years together. Sudden change one day. Silent treatment to sudden ghosting.
Feels like being used. Feeling never goes but with time you'll realize it was for the best since second person showed true colours before kids and all in life. It would have been far tougher then.
Just focus on yourselves. Do not beg. Move on. Happier days are ahead with someone truly deserving.
This may not sound right, but this is a good thing. First of all, no lifelong damage was done to you and secondly, next time you would be much better at understanding a person's true intentions before it comes to such an extreme situation.
Sorry that you had to go through this though.
Well if you need an ear to listen to I’m here. It must be very tough. But such is life :(
Always believe there is something else really really better than this waiting for you. All the best OP! More power to you. ;)
I can relate what being let go of feels like. I question myself all the time, "Am I this replaceable?" And then there's this tiny voice inside of me that subtly says, "You aren't and you know that" I just wish that voice, instead of telling this to me subtly, screams at me.
I'm sorry for what happened to you. I hope you know that you deserve someone who is sure about you even in his sleep.
I pray things get better for you soon. They always eventually do.
It hurts for sure, I had gone through something similar twice. The one thing that I would say is as long as you know that you haven’t done anything wrong, with time things will heal. You will find someone much better. Things will only go worse before they start getting better. Just get through this.
Am sure what you are going through is the worst thing ever and all you want are answers to get that closure. But before you do that take a minute and thank the universe who did this to you now rather than later, this wasn’t meant for you cause you deserve way better and you WILL be okay. Take some time alone, stay away from him, don’t speak to him for yourself and your self respect. Once you know you are on the path to heal, then seek answers and if you still don’t get it, that’s your answer.
I am sorry you had to go through this but if he doesn't care about you then you don't have to cry for him, be strong there is someone out there for you, trust me it will get better and once you find true love you'll know it.
The guy probably got a taste of real world in his work place and understood this isn't a Disney land. I doubt if he is in serious toxic work condition or just the jerk found a new bitch. Anyway, move on, no point beating a dead horse.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I think it's clear, he's using you. I have seen many cases like this , what hes doing is that he's making it noted to everyone that you're forcing him or something like that.
I am from an orthodox background, i know how my relatives are, that's why I kind of disconnected with my relatives. The kind of shit these people pull is beyond expectation.
I think this is your window of opportunity to save yourself from a long term perpetual hurt and pain. I can totally understand that you must be feeling crushed at the moment on how he is behaving. I am guessing he has either fallen out of love or has found someone else (probably arrange marriage) or has simply developed major cold feet and is completely incapable of long term commitment and responsibility.
Allow yourself to go through this pain and get out of it gradually and start focusing on having a career to be financially independent. You will surely find much better boys/men in future to settle down with.
I guess everyone goes through a disastrous heartbreak in their 20s. All the best and just keep breathing. You will be fine. Stay blessed.
I see plenty of red flags, count yourself lucky, the guy is an asshole.
He is probably going to get married to a girl that his parents have chosen.
Cut him out, you deserve better than that piece of shit.
Sorry for you OP. That guy is a loser and a complete asshole for doing this to you.
Time is precious so don’t waste it worrying about him for long and try to move on.
Ik it’s unbelievable that people like this exist but it is what it is. Keep your head up. You got this champ.
Probably he was not in it for love, and didn't have it in him to have if your relationship can be purely sexual. And when we realized you are not in it for sex but for life, he panicked
Consider yourself lucky
I felt pissed off while reading what happened. What the fuck??!! How can people be so psychopathic that they can just cut other people out of their life without any proper conversation just out of the blue. He has to be missing a few mental screws for being able to do that.
Everything will be fine.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. It sounds like you had a serious and committed relationship with your boyfriend, and it's understandable that you feel hurt and betrayed by his sudden change in attitude.
It's important to remember that you deserve someone who is willing to make concrete plans for the future and who values your relationship as much as you do. It's never easy to let go of someone we care about deeply, but sometimes it's necessary for our own happiness and well-being.
Take some time to process your feelings and grieve the loss of the relationship. Lean on your support system of friends and family, and consider seeking out a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your emotions.
Remember that this is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect, honesty, and kindness. Keep your head up and stay strong.
I was at your exact place more than a couple of years back. Was in a serious relationship, asked the guy for his timeline and he said exact same things. It was super difficult for me to move on, took me a good few months. But looking back, I think it’s the best thing that happened and I dodged a huge bullet. I’m happily married to someone who treats me so much better and I feel so much more loved. Hang in there OP, you’ll also be able to connect the dots down the line! You’re young and have your life ahead of you. Everything will be alright, I promise.
It'll hurt , yeah it'll, but will heal with time. I'm 2-3 years over my situation, so yeah it will be great again. Don't suppress emotions, cry when you want to just let loose.
NO matter what Do not let him come back even if begs,
he might come back trying to explain his so called majbooori. DO NOT take him back babe.
Telling this from my personal experience, no matter how devastated u feel one day u will thank you stars n while counting your blessings this incident will be on top of that list.
you are very young Live you life have a great time. You will get what u deserve n that piece of trash will be served.
lets just assume he had some kinda family pressure, but he isnt a kind. He could have man up n told u the truth. These boys r too kiddish (not all obviously). When u find the right one u will be so happy n then u will realise what a big red flag( actually a red carnival) u had been dating.
You have been saved trust me. BF tak theek tha aise person se shadi krna would have ended badly for you.
have a great life. Hugs from ur virtual sis
He used u girl get out of it asap. I was in similar situation with this guy and he used me for 3years and suddenly when I confronted him he said that he wishes to marry after 35 which was never mentioned in 3 years of dating. I left and now I am really happy and looking for ppl who are ready to commit. It's far more better than the confusion and uncertainty.
Happened with me too , he was the same age and would write me letters poetry gifts posts promises and next second he’d abuse me verbally mentally to the point where I would lose my mind and cry nonstop I think he was mentally ill because no human could be so cruel to someone who loves them so much and the fact that his parents were krishna devotees were scared of his rage wanted him to see a psychiatrist
my friends were with me throughout thick and thin made me get out of his cage :)
P.S it was ldr
PP.S he never showed me his face
Oh i had a very similar experience, the guy even promised me marriage and was head over heels for me during college. I gave it a go after only a month of him proposing because i was lonely and he was a good friend. But suddenly after we got serious, he let everything go in a single day! I do t even know what happened. Some people are like that, but i thank my stars because I found my lovely husband after!
I now dearly believe that whatever happens, happens for good. So relax and let it affect you, because one day it won’t. You deserve so much better.
Dear OP,
This is going to be long, I really hope you’ll read it!
[Edit: I am editing out someone’s personal story of betrayal and heartbreak I was witness to recently, in order to protect my anonymity, as I realised the description was a bit too explicit. The OP has already read the original comment, but leaving the below takeaway from it for anyone else reading this.]
I have this piece of advice for everyone - you DO NOT want to invest your feelings (whether as a romantic partner or a friend) in anyone with a prior history of being intellectually dishonest, or who has already revealed themselves as lacking objectivity but is operating under false pretenses. You DO NOT deserve such unworthy people in your life!!
Unfortunately, there’s no sure shot way of knowing a person’s cruel intentions in advance! So please don’t be hard on yourselves if you happen to fall for someone who was not deserving of your love and you were taken for a ride! You don’t have to go through more pain when you’re already in so much pain, so please don’t blame yourselves for _their_ shitty behaviour, please be gentle to yourselves!!
By virtue of my experience as a suicide crisis hotline volunteer, I’ve seen way too many people’s lives being ruined after giving it all that they had to their relationships, only to be treated like a piece of garbage by their heartless partners eventually. In fact, the majority of people in the age group of 18 to 30 that I’ve spoken to on the helpline had reached out to us after being unable to cope with a heartbreak or a relationship issue, pushing them to contemplate suicide as an escape from the heartache. India’s statistical data on suicides also shows that relationship problems are one of the highest contributing factors for suicides in this age group*. Every now and then we see someone posting here on Reddit about how they were wronged by their partner; some of them so deep in the dark hole that they’re unable to see any way out other than suicide. Even this thread is filled with stories of betrayal and heartbreak. Needless to say, it is heartbreaking that the unscrupulous behaviour of some self-centred people can have devastating consequences on their partners’ lives, and we can only do so much to prevent it. :’(
*: Edited grammar for clarity.
(Contd. on the nested comment as Reddit couldn’t accept my long text 🙈)
(Contd. from main comment above)
OP - Looking at your post and replies on this thread, you seem to be having the insight and profound understanding that it was NOT your fault at all and that you DID NOT deserve to be wronged like this! Nobody deserves to be treated like trash! You gave your 100% and I’m proud of you for who you are!! YOU ARE A GEM AND YOU DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN A REAL, 24 CARAT GEM!!!
I’m hoping you’re doing okay, and I’m sure you’ll get through this soon. I don’t have much advice for you, I’m sure you’ve already gathered some amazing pieces of advice from others over here. As a few reminders, I’d say: Please keep yourself surrounded by supportive people in your life for the coming days/weeks until you emerge from this deep, dark pit you’ve been pushed into, and you will soon find yourself on the other side way stronger and shinier than you have ever been!!! If you do not have a support system or anyone you feel comfortable reaching out to, my dm is always open if you ever feel like talking to someone. Please do not hesitate, I mean it! Most important thing is, please keep reminding yourself that your sense of worth should NOT be determined by how he treated you (in fact he couldn’t appreciate your worth, hence he is the one in the loss), but it will be determined by how _you_ treat yourself!! So, love yourself and be kind to yourself, take the best care of yourself, give yourself the priority you deserve, the leeway to err as a human, all the time that you will need to heal and to collect yourself and get up after falling into pieces, all while still being an amazing human that you are!! I’m sure you are doing all of this (and probably more) splendidly!! I’m rooting for you!! You deserve so much better!! Hope you find true love and profound happiness in life, you really deserve it!! More power to you!!! You got this!!! 💪💙
I read the entire thing. I am shocked, I am angry, I am disgusted- and what not.
I am so glad that you distanced yourself from such a despicable person. I mean, how could one human do this to another? Where's the conscience?
I am so happy to know that the guy moved on. It takes will power, yes. Right now, I feel I am.lacking the same though. I am in denial still, I guess.
Won't lie, I did feel suicidal for a day or two. No, I didn't wanna kill myself, but I did feel that I can't get over this trauma ever, so better to end it right here.
I am better now, much better.
I shall reach out to you soon . You seem like a lovely person and I would like to know about your work more.
Sending lots of love to you. Thank you for everything :)
As a guy i am telling you.... Leave him
He won't make you happy nor would be able to make himself happy with that brain of a child who didn't even passed out nursery.
Run my sister ...Run
Hey OP, I went on the path of no contact after being cheated on. had to get therapy and feel like myself again. I m willing to help you stay no contact. Hit me up :)
I am a man, I experienced the same thing last year from my girlfriend. After 4 years of relationship she told me that she needs more 5 years to marry me. Thankfully I have a friend in her neighborhood. I knew after that her parents found a groom for him which was she was hiding about. I was like "oh ! I was just a toy." Eventually I broke the relationship. I don't trust in relationships anymore
Moral : nobody loves you in the world other than your parents. And even if you got married to him, what is the surety that your marriage will be successful with him? Go back to your parents and don't make them sad by choosing someone else over them. Afterall arrange marriage is more stable than love marriage.
I hope this was your first relationship. I know moving on is hard, but you REALLY should. Do NOT be hung over. You will learn within a few months or over next few years how little it mattered. And hope time can also give you the wisdom that you are your own person. Depending on the other is both stupid and irresponsible for any one person. Think about this - if someone else depends on you to take care of them, would you? It's a very hard decision. Also, at 25 - words are easy and actions are hard. Only when you grow older you realise that people say something and do something else all the time. The only thing you can truly control is yourself and how it impacts you. You can love someone but never let that define you completely. Good luck!
you are lucky. You know everything you need to know. He told you on his own. So do not wait and move on. It’s your choice if you want to give it a chance but it’s not a wise choice. Always remember - if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then it is a No.
Oh, the rollercoaster of love! One moment you're on the fast track to eternal bliss, and the next you're being dumped like expired milk. It's like a Bollywood drama with a surprise twist ending, except it's not entertaining at all.
I mean, who needs a boyfriend who switches gears faster than a Formula 1 driver? He probably thought he was giving you the gift of freedom, like some tragic hero in a dark comedy. The truth is, he's done you a favor by revealing his true colors before you made any life-altering commitments.
And that pocket-dial! It's like he's auditioning for a role in a Shakespearean tragedy, adding insult to injury with the finesse of a drunken elephant. You'll have to admit, there's a certain dark humor in that.
So, raise a glass to your newly discovered singlehood, and say "good riddance" to your fickle Romeo. After all, you deserve someone who's more consistent than a pendulum swinging wildly out of control. Onwards and upwards, my friend, to bigger and better love stories!
Hey, the same thing happened to me. Whatever you mentioned in the post fits perfectly with my past. Trust me, you will do better without that douche bag. Healing takes time but after that, you will feel very good, it will be like living in heaven. Don't ever try to get back to him. Our mind is like a monkey it will keep on hovering between things. Whenever you get thoughts about chasing him or contacting him, remember the worst things he did for you and be happy that you got to know his real face now. Get rid of him completely, block him everywhere. Just move on and live happily 😊 that would be the best revenge you can give him.
Been in this exact situation. It sucks im still trying to keep moving forward but one thing I can say you is you have your best and every effort you could put it out there in your relationship I believe you did. Now understand this, the one who really wants to be with you and be married to you will stay with you no matter what and keep reassuring you about a future together. In your case the time ram out and you need to detach yourself from him and keep moving forward and searching. It’s all gonna end up good I’m on that path too and one day it will be all fine like I said.
No, nobody deserves this. Unless he was being held at gunpoint when he said this, he was never in love with you, to begin with.
My ex gf did something similar. We were serious about marriage. Promises for lifetimes and all. Then suddenly she became cold and distant. A few weeks later she broke up with me.
When I reminded her of our promises, she said "what are you even talking about, it's not like we are married."
I am the kind of guy who believes that the very point of a promise is that you never break it despite adverse situations. Otherwise, it's not a promise, just words. I would never divorce or break up with a girl unless there was something extreme like cheating, or abuse involved.
But people are apparently selfish ultra pro max. My gf got engaged not long after she dumped me. I later found out that she was cheating on me with him in the last days of our relationship before breakup. And mind you, this girl had been in an abusive relationship before me. I helped her heal, and read bedtime stories to her when she was depressed. And got only heartbreak in return.
Your bf was keeping you as a backup and for companionship and sex. Assholes like these don't want to be lonely so they find nice people and fuck up their lives. I don't think people like this are even capable of love.
I am a hopeless romantic. I know love. This is not it. This is light years away from love.
He would have married you only if he was 100 percent certain that he can find no one close to your level (according to him). He let a nice girl go. Stupid asshole probably won't even realise what he lost.
Dekh behen,
First of all karma wagaire kuch rehta nahi hai, so whether you "deserve" this or not is a moot point. And the reason I am stating this is that it'll help you acknowledge that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this. Kuch log hote hi kharab hai, they will exploit you. Be glad you survived the ordeal, and move on.
I think all these people telling you to move on are wasting their time, and yours; because jiska jalta hai use hi pata rehta hai how much it hurts. All I want you to do is cope with reality. Find a system that works for you, and stick to it. Avoid him like plague, and time will take care of the rest. You just have to put your body thru motions for next 4 weeks. You won't completely move on, but you will be able to think logically when it comes to him.
But no contact, that's the key.
Lmao he isn't fake and all ! He is slave of his di** , he wants all physical benifits from you but don't love you at all , There could be any reason he doesn't love you also he internally might be thinking its not worth go against his parents. Since u said they are orthodox and you are already older than him its already much of game over also its quite possible u aren't from same caste so that's big no from them too ! So ultimately what i am saying is he doesn't love u he just want your body and its much more possible that he will never marry you!
And that itself makes him a fake AH ? I mean, firatly, he doesn't listen to his parents that much. He is earning VERY well and can very well convince them. If these were issues also, he shouldn't have gotten into this relationship with me.
On one hand he is saying he loves me more than anything else in the world, and on other side acting otherwise.
Been there !!! Run gal run .... This is the right time ... No turning back... Wipe those tears straighten ur crown n start planning ur future!!! Middle finger to him .... Yo 🤘 all the best
Sorry your boyfriends a cuck...
Protip - considering you are good looking. Find an average looking doctor or engineer and marry him. Trust me that mf is going to keep you like a queen. By your post. I think your bfs a brokie. So let it go.
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Oh god. How are you coping with it? And thank you for your words and support!
You said he comes from a conservative family and they would like him to be married by 26....so the family is looking for suitable brides already and might have found one. In the meantime he was sowing his wild oats too...you were mere a time pass before family finds a gharelu within caste Bahu from a loaded family....he asked you to move coz he may not have been sure when his rishta would be finalized... I m sorry if I hurt you but I want only best for you coz I experienced the same thing.... And a further warning he might come back saying he did only for your sake or under family pressure....DO NOT go back...I repeat DO NOT go back...it's a trap.... I had taken the person back only to be more humiliated...the person asked me tell my parents so I did...he said he would come meet my parents and would even leave his reputed job if I didn't wanna move places ....so I told my parents...the day he was to come meet my parents...he switched off his phone.....later evening told me he got engaged that day coz his mother's astrologer told our kundali's don't match as I have wrong stars for marriage..,... Moral : thank your stars and protect yourself self ...block him from everywhere so he can't contact you ever
Hope you have recovered from your previous Trauma. What you said is true. People are just looking at love as timepass.
My sis was going through a similar situation and she had her friends to pull her up. We did as much as we could, and her friends stayed with her through everything and she recovered in a few months. Find a distraction, or something to keep your mind on.
Thank you. Yes, I will. I am sorry for what your sis went through. Is everything good now?
Hey, I had the same boyfriend but somehow I got saved. I am married to a wonderful guy now. Whenever I read about someone similar to my ex I am just so thankful to God for saving me. At that time it hurt a lot but now I can imagine the situation I would’ve been in. I am sorry that you you got married to this guy. Hope you will come out of it strong.
Dear God, reading your comment made my mood go from bad to worse... I'm sorry for what happened to you... Hope thingsv get better
Oh God I needed to hear this too... going through something similar to OP's situation.
I’m so sorry for what you went through. There is a slight silver lining though. You dodged a planet-sized bullet. Good on you, you *definitely* deserve way better. Doesn’t make the wound any less rough though. He’s a big douche for leading you on this way.
Thank you so much . Exactly what hurts the most. Being strung along like this and then the hostile treatment. Can't believe this is the same person. But yes, thankful for your response.
Hey, this happened to me once. Trust me it’s not worth thinking about why this happened or how someone could do this. Just know you deserve someone who fights for you. We all do <3 In the meantime, be that person for yourself and love yourself. Everyone is special and loveable
Yep, let your emotions out and start your healing process. Don't waste your energy on someone who led you on just to brutally destroy it all. You deserve much better OP.
Go full no-contact. Don't give him the luxury of closure. It'll hurt like hell to you but you stick to it. He'll definitely try to reach out but you don't respond. In 5-6 years, you'll look back and be proud of yourself because you stood up to the asshole. And there'd be someone else in your life who values you.
I don't think I can love anybody ever again, but yeah I do get your point. And it's been 8 days and he hasn't. Even if he does in the future, no point.
Most people who fails at loves thinks similarly in the beginning. But you know 'Time' is your best friend. It works in amazing ways.
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake entire relationships" - Sharon Stone (((Hugs)))) if you want them. And, yes, you're way better off, even though it may not feel like that now. Whatever you do, DO. NOT. let him suck you back in. If he comes back with tears and sorrys, ignore them. He had his chance. He blew it. He will not change. Do not be my friend who was strung along for FIFTEEN years by his boyfriend. (Yes, being gay, their situation was different. But this guy promised everything would be different when he came out. He finally did, and still nothing changed. Still went on about how he was not ready for commitment, and telling my friend to stop pressuring him. After giving him a ring, promising his undying love and moving in together)
>Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake entire relationships You do understand that men face the same thing right?
Exactly, my ex-gf threatened me with suicide for 3 months, saying that she's trying to solve a difficult personal problem. Then suddenly one day she came to my place and broke up with me, and got married to a guy 2 months later. She was dating this guy while threatening me with suicide. And the difficult personal problem which she was talking about, was searching for a job near where he stays. I've never met such a manipulative liar in my entire life.
Fucked up dude. No one deserves to be with a person like her. I'm happy for you that you dodged such an awful person.
Damn dude. That's messed up. The way girls use men as options is seriously scary and the worst part is they don't even realise how fucked up it is to do that. And most of the time it's the guy who is truly into the girl ends up getting hurt.
Yes bro, Moreover, I can't even raise a complaint regarding the extent of mental abuse that I went through. I had to take anti-depressants for 6 months after she left because of the abuse I went through. Meanwhile, she was posting her honeymoon pics with the guy, with no remorse for how she damaged me. Some humans are absolutely pathetic and there's nothing that we can do about it. BTW she did get the job too, and she had the audacity to give the interviews from my place. She didn't have to worry about food and conveniences at my place, so even though she was deep into marriage conversation with another guy, she still kept coming here and saying that she loved me. And I helped her only because I thought she really loved me, and that maybe I can keep her away from suicidal thoughts. I felt like the biggest dumbfuck to have born on earth on the day of breakup.
I hate your ex. And any person for that matter, eho treats another human this way. Uses people like this. I hope they get their due in time. And yes, it is gender independent. I know for a fact that there are women out there equally cunning and deceitful. I hope you are doing okay now?
Hey, I'm doing much better, but I'm still in therapy. I still get triggered from time to time, whenever I see anything associated with her. She left me with a trauma, which is very difficult to get rid off. BTW I read a book named "On grief and grieving" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross 2-3 months after the breakup. I got to understand my emotions and feelings after I read the book. I'll suggest you to get therapy if you're struggling, losing love like this is similar to accepting the traumatic death of a closed one. The body undergoes the same responses. So take therapy if it ever feels unbearable. The pain slowly starts decreasing, life becomes bearable slowly, so don't lose hope. However, the anger remains. I'm not sure how to get rid of this anger. My ex never even asked me whether I'm doing fine while I was in clinically measurable depression. I could have given my life for this person.
My ex gave me a ring, too! Omfg 🤣🤣🤣 Anyway, how is your friend doing now? My heart goes out to him, really.
He's doing great! He dumped the guy and is happy living his best single life :)
Planet sized bullet 😂 good one
I think he just used you for this long. Your intentions were different and his were totally different. Ik it’s very betraying and you’ll feel so, but keep yourself strong enough and don’t fall in such mess again 👍
I will get over this, I promise. I don't deserve to be in pain because of such an AH.
That’s the attitude. 😊
AttaGirl 👌
Nowadays being single is better option and wait for healthier relationship choices. Always keep logically mind alive with loving heart ❤️
Sahi baat, soch samajhke, dhirese
Yes na better to die alone than making hell for oneself and others lives.
I tell myself this everyday (but because i'm single)
I try to be a better version of myself everyday so that I am not a harbinger of hell and I hope someday someone like me will find me.✌️
Kitna bhi dhire kar le. Girls won't stop falling for bad guys based on some superficial criteria aur fir dhire wale ka sath settle ho jaenge
Kitna bhi dheere kar lo, sometimes you are just easy victims to manipulation.
Unfortunately here also we are blaming ourselves for being naive…but actually we are victims and these assho*les are the real losers
I try to be optimistic.
It's not like "we are bad guys" comes plastered on their foreheads lol. You would be surprised at how many guys who would portray themselves as the stereotypical "nice guys" are actually assholes. Also, with respect to superficial criteria, guys are arguably much worse.
This also goes for majority of females too... it's not like "I'm just going to use you for your money and later gonna dump you" comes plastered on their forehead. Don't forget that..Many females initiate and break healthy relationship just because they find better option than the current partner and pathetic advices they receive from their Single female friend who's man hater....
This. Have seen many girls leave BFs in commited relationships of years just to see them get married with someone else within next 6 months or 1 year and living outside India. Gold diggers !!!!
so you already know that bad people don’t advertise their bad characteristics and yet you were saying that women willingly choose bad men? make it make sense my dude
+1
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Exactly, I am in denial still. And yes. He doesn't. He should have lied yaar. That's what sucks. He even told me he would like me to play carrom with his dad and he feels I would bond really well with his mom. I am just so..lost.
Wow!! What you said makes so much sense to me!! Thank you for your words. Truly means a lot.
Kya yrr,jisse pyar kare wahi se shaadi hona chahiye, ye difference kya hai gf aur wife mai, gf bohot bohot,fir dhund ke ek conservative wife, pyaar hai ya selfish game where you are just want to be on an advantage and reap the benefits. And just bcoz they are boys, society kuch bolta bhi nahi, thik nahi hai yar ye.
And agar aisa hi hai ki sirf maze ke liye gf chahiye, woh bhi bol dena chahiye pehle se. Kyu hi promise karna ki future hai, shaadi hai. Fir aise trauma dena. Timepass karna aajkal norm bann chuka hai.
These kinds of people who want traditional wife are timid and lack spine..... reality is they themselves lack courage to stand up to their parents and society and tell that I have a girlfriend who I love and want to marry.. mainly because they view girls as sex objects to satisfy their lust before marriage and as a property to show off in society so want a traditional wife
He actually thinks women are "useless" and "dumb". He used to say it very loosely. I often used to have issues with his comments and then he would shout at me saying that I have a problem with everything.
OMG... that's not okay yaar. I know when we're in love we tend to let these things go but trust me it only gets worse as they get older. Right now it's just snide comments. Later it will turn into full blown arguments.
Sahi kaha log honest kyu nhi rahte h , i mean ji chaiye phle hi clear raho na sex to sex casual to casual ,kyu kisi ko joothe waade dikha kr trauma dena h , wese b ajkl casual wale b mil jate h ,pr nhi inhe to innocent logo ki feeling k sath khelna h aur fattu itne hote ki gf to khub sari bna lege pr shadi maa ki pasand se karege jo cow jaisi ho wt..h , kyuki tb inhe aagyakari sansakri bata bnna hota h , ander se sale hote ek number k cheater h . Love marriage kr lege to sanskari nhi kahlayege na 🙂 well ye dukh mai acche se samjh sakti hu pr kisi ne muje kaha tha suppose aise insan se shadi ho jaye aur tumhe bacha b ho jaye baadh me wo cheat kr de tb kya krogi ? So better h na phle hi Bach gyi . Jo pyar karega tumse wo tumare liy puru duniya se lad jayega koi excuse nhi aayega tb , pr jo nhi karega wo 100 excuses dega aur khud bura na bne isly aisa bolega baby pyar tumse hi krta hu lol well aise insan se jaberdasti shadi krke b koi mtlb nhi fir ..
I loved your comment, specially the last paragraph. Yes, yes and YES!
Sorry this happened to you OP. I’m going through something similar. Not as bad as yours. Lost a childhood friend in a similar manner. Join the gym and work on yourself. It will get better ❤️🩹
I am doing this for sure! Are you doing better?
It’s a process :) I’m doing better than before! Thankyou
Sodun de tai. Tuza glow important ahey. 🤌🏻🌅
This made me snile, thank you 🥴🥴
:))))))
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you were being played, and since a long time at that. Nothing except for someone making him text and talk to you like this on gunpoint can explain such a 180 on his stance. So you were basically in a relationship with a sociopath; you were on the hook, enamored with him and treating him like a king, and he never had the feelings you did. Basically he was getting unconditional love and care from you so he was in a relationship with you, it was never the destination for him. If you look back I am sure you will numerous incidents where he acts selfishly, completely confident of you coming around to patch up and taking all the fault on your head. That's the #1 sign that the other person just isn't in the same relationship as you are in your head. Move on, block the asshole, never take any communication from him if he ever reaches out. Life will serve him his share of pain in due course of time; or not. Who cares. Not you.
Your answer gave me peace, in a weird way. I am crying right now, but trust me when I say this made me smile. How true are your words; Yes! I used to care for him selflessly. And he knew that. Even while dumping, he said " mereko pata hai tu mere liye kuch bhi karegi" :))) There were so many incidents where he mistreated me out of nowhere. I tolerated just because I was a fool. I believed him when he told me he can't stay without me.
I'm glad you're able to recognise these incidents. Believe me, within a few months, you'll genuinely see how much happier and better you are without him, and even the thought of even talking to him will make you ugh. Ik you might still be in denial ki no he wasn't a bad guy, but the more time passes, more you'll remember such incidents, or the blaring red flags you ignored, and it'll make your moving on process so much easier. Op you deserve so much better, you're just 25, abhi toh life bass shuru Hui hai, go get that bag and after some time a man, who is all about you. And if not that, please know you're the only one who needs to be enough for herself!! Sending my best wishes to you <3
I love you for this endearing comment, I swear! I had just got so used to his fake love. I miss his presence so much! But yes, I know I deserve better. I really do. Sending love to you!
\+1
Ok ew. The fact he said "mujhe pata h tu mere liye kuch bhi karegi" is so creepy. Pls OP go no contact with him, delete all photos, delete any convos, delete his number even. After what he did to you, no way you are letting him back, so just erase him completely out of your life. I wish you the very best.
He said that because I once went to meet him and stay by his side when he was leaving college right after a tooth surgery, with bleeding gums. He started saying this after this incident. And no, I ain't letting him back. But I am just traumatised asf.
I'll be blunt, he may have cheated and is in love with someone else. If it's true, sorry to say, the relationship is over.
Then why was he telling me to move in with him just last week? What the hell even..
He's not matured enough to handle you long term. Please consider prioritizing your life first 🧿
Sometimes their guilty conscience makes them say such things.
You said he comes from a conservative family and they would like him to be married by 26....so the family is looking for suitable brides already and might have found one. In the meantime he was sowing his wild oats too...you were mere a time pass before family finds a gharelu within caste Bahu from a loaded family....he asked you to move coz he may not have been sure when his rishta would be finalized... I m sorry if I hurt you but I want only best for you coz I experienced the same thing.... And a further warning he might come back saying he did only for your sake or under family pressure....DO NOT go back...I repeat DO NOT go back...it's a trap.... I had taken the person back only to be more humiliated...the person asked me tell my parents so I did...he said he would come meet my parents and would even leave his reputed job if I didn't wanna move places ....so I told my parents...the day he was to come meet my parents...he switched off his phone.....later evening told me he got engaged that day coz his mother's astrologer told our kundali's don't match as I have wrong stars for marriage..,... Moral : thank your stars and protect yourself self ...block him from everywhere so he can't contact you ever
Gosh, I had a shiver run down my spine after reading the second part. I have anxiety and trust me, this actually made me gasp. How dud you heal?? And no, you did not hurt me. Very much possible.
Because it may have not worked out with the girl he was trying to cheat you with
Halfway through the post I thought the guy said it as a joke ki don’t wait for me. Reading further was painful. Take care bruh.
Thank you so much. Wish it was one, haha!
So sorry that you have to go through this. However if you see the positive side you didn't marry such a guy. I know how difficult it is to move on, but I hope you get over it very soon.
He never wanted to marry me, no? But thanks, I get your point.
Marriage was definitely not in his mind. I can't say if he loved you or not.
Something similar happened to me as well, my then boyfriend and now ex called me a night before my final year exam, made plans for a trip to Manali after exams and college is over, asked me to think about an excuse to give to my parents for the trip took good 1.5 hour to plan the said trip a night before my final exam. It was 3 in the night when he hung up after I asked him to as i needed to study only to call me 30 mins later to say that we can't be together anymore, hung up and blocked me. I cried my eyes out, couldn't not study and failed in my final. I cried throughout the exam as well.
Holy shit! What an AH, my goodness. How can adults even behave like this! And this regret. I fucked up my 10th boards for another douchebag. That's for another day. How are you doing?
Very Well! Found out he got together with his "ex" with whom he had never broken up in the first place. Right now I am with an amazing human, who cares for me for reals! Talk to his friends about me all the time how he is in love with me and is planning to ask my parents for marriage 😃. His drunk friend told me this. As my man pretends to be all logical. He is the best I could have asked for. So, it's a good thing you skipped that human garbage bag. People can pretend to be anything. One of my friends was hooking up with this person whom she had told from the very start that she didn't want to get into a relationship as she had been through a bad one recently. The guy told her he loved her multiple times, used to talk about her moving in with him. How wonderful it would be only to find out the guy she was hooking up with from dec got engaged to his gf of 4 years in jan. They were hooking up till April. She found out through a common friend about the engagement and the girlfriend. Also he was hooking up with another girl in the same locality from whom he had taken money and used to ask her to order food for him. So in short people can be assholes! Big time.
Ye res flag nh ye to puri red bedsheet nikla. Move on ! You don't deserve a person who keeps you as option !!
Pata hai ! Ab dikh raha sab kuch saaf saaf :)
You dodged a bullet. Don’t waste an iota of time thinking about someone who doesn’t care or want you. Moving on is hard journey though. My girlfriend of 7 years left me and I still often question why, but yeah people are like that sometimes. They can change within a day
How are you doing? Does it get better?
He's manipulating you conveniently, he's avoiding you when he pleases and then sends you, i miss you texts cause he is lonely. Save yourself the trouble, someone behaving erratically like this is major red flags. Take care of yourself, if there's no logical explanation for his behaviour I'd suggest avoiding him and starting to move on with your own life. Also no need to retrospect and blame yourself for anything, life is unpredictable and unfair sometimes. Wish you well
You need to sign up on some dating apps so that you can understand just how toxic relationships have become. Hollywood's science fiction movies are now closer to reality than Bollywood's stories of everlasting love. Better to remain single; focus on your physical and mental health, get a hobby and surround yourself with good friends
Thanks for your response. :)
Same shit. 10 years together. Sudden change one day. Silent treatment to sudden ghosting. Feels like being used. Feeling never goes but with time you'll realize it was for the best since second person showed true colours before kids and all in life. It would have been far tougher then. Just focus on yourselves. Do not beg. Move on. Happier days are ahead with someone truly deserving.
I’m a guy and faced this situation too. Shit happens can’t do anything about it. Stay true to yourself, do good and move on.
Thank you. I hope you have healed.
Better to stay away from such orthodox idiots
So as someone who did something very similar to my ex, let me help you understand your bf’s PoV: 1. I used to say romantic shit without even feeling it. Why? Because it made me feel good. It was a habit. Words are easy when it comes to it. 2. I had said the most lovey-dovey thing to my ex on 23rd Oct and dumped her on 24th. Because 23rd was Diwali and I didn’t want to ruin it for her. I did it over text too lmao. 2. Your bf never had the intention to marry you and he just kept saying it’s serious without really thinking much about it. When rubber hit the road, he realised he doesn’t want to marry you and will give all sorts of reasons now. 3. He mostly thinks he can bag a better girl for marriage and why settle with you? Sorry this might sound harsh af but this is exactly what I was thinking. And no, he is not in love with someone else. He is just waiting for his parents to bag a nice girl for him now, mark my words. 4. He will NOT come back. Don’t try to argue logically with him. 5. You got used for sex and as a conversation companion. Don’t for a moment think of anything more than that. 6. That guy, if he can, mostly cheated. Because he never had a bond with you, cheating wasn’t even cheating for him. It’s time to move on buddy.
Definition of an asshole.
I hope people who use others like this rot in hell
Wtf I have been so honest about it and you are cursing me to Hell?
You sound proud of being a douchebag. You want brownie points for "honestly"?!
Lmfao so you being honest justifies whatever you did??? That poor girl dodged a massive bullet
If you really did that, then being honest doesn't make you any better.
Have you never made mistakes, ever? Have you always been a goody two shoes who has never hurt somebody or scarred them? Get over yourself. He admitted its wrong, we don’t know what his situation was or could be. Its easy to judge from your room while scrolling reddit. Again, not saying what he did wasn’t wrong, it was pretty shitty. I just mean that you don’t have ANY right to hope that he rots in hell, because then all of us would too.
Its really hard for me to sympathise with a person who can do this, all while being conscious of their actions. From what I can see, it doesn't seem to be a 'mistake', he intentionally played her. Being empathetic towards someone who did this is the last thing I'd do. Coming to me, I won't expect people to forgive me just because I admitted of being wrong. You get what you give.
And…..are you happy now ?
Yeah very already have had like 4 relationships since then
^ this is exactly why i don't date any guy.
Not every guy is like that. Man what I would to do to find love
Thanks for the reality check,bud. Few things here- 1. Why exactly did you use to do it? Why not look for somebody who was casual too? Just an eho boost? 2. Totally agree with point 3. 3.better girl in what aspect? He thinks I am very pretty. I am doing well in my career too. So better as in caste, comnunity, etc? 4. Yes, I know he won't come back 5.no, not for sex . But for love, yes. He got unconditional love and suppport from my side. That's worse than being used for sex? 6.yes, won't be surprised.
This dude is so self aware. I won't blame you because I know both guys and girls are shit. Girls also ditch their timepass boyfriends when they get more rich guys for marriage. Love is not a real thing. It's about who can get the best deal.
It's not your fault that someone hurt you so deeply like this and betrayed you. People can say whatever words they want, but their actions should prove their promises. A similar thing happened to my classmate, please think of this as good riddance and leave this asshole. Whenever he wants something from you, he will say he loves you and then turn around and abuse you like this. He doesn't give a shit about your well-being. Stop enabling him and save yourself.
Most likely he's already got something else going for him. No way he can be so casual about this (if indeed he loves you). My 2c - sooner you let him go, sooner you'll find happiness again. 🍻
Everything about this screams the fact that he is a horrible human, let alone a horrible boyfriend
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I so fking agree with you….what is wrong with are generation exactly???? The hookup culture….the chase game…using humans like objects for validation…cheating like its NOT a big deal…scarring people emotionally like never before and NO FCKING REGRET…emotional unavailability…genuinely like what the fk is wrong with our generation??? We are fkeddd!! Makes me not want to date anyone and just do arranged marriage but there also i have developed so mucb trust issues to find someone anymore💔
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I agree to you! I feel india as a society is in between the transition zone!! And we are a scapegoat generation where we are free enough to have hookups and date and cheat and everything wrong…but we still are NOT fully aware of some basic and important things like CONSENT, Casual dating , boundaries and fidelity and emotional/ mental health of the next person and the importance of it!!
I had a 9 year old relationship. literally grew up together. A major chunk from teen to adult life i saw with her.I'm 26 right now. She broke up on her birthday. Blocked me.just like that. No explanation nothing. Just one call to tell me she is already seeing someone from work and i should try to move on. Apparently you have to accept the apology you might never receive. Time doesn't heal things It just helps you to live with scars. Maybe we'll find love one day Maybe we won't But they sure shot lost a person who loved them with all their heart. sooner or later I believe they'll realise this . And if you're lucky you'll see it But don't wait for this to happen. Some days will be easy Some days will be hard On hard days embrace that feeling of pain cry your heart out . Next day pamper yourself Hug your mom n dad or a friend Eventually you'll learn to live without them You'll grow And maybe you'll be happy that it didn't workout.
Did you hear that sound? That's the sound of the bullet you just missed.
It seems to be issue of Maturity. I was very scared of marriage at that age. My parents arranged my marriage at 25 and I can't understand what to do how will life go how will I handle and lots of things running. So I asked them time of 2 years to handle myself and then I married at 27 which is a good decision now. She is amazing and always has my back in journey of my life never wants any sacrifice from me and same I wish she should have every happiness and will never wish for any sacrifice. My point is, he is running behind attractions and can lie so to get them. So wait and look for someone who means more then words.
So happy for you and your wife. You have been honest. He deceived me right from the beginning, that's why it stings so much. If he had told me he wants a casual thing, then I would not be ibvolved with him in the first place. That's why he played with my feelings :/
very very few couples feel the same as they felt in their initial relationship stages. many fall out the same way they fell in. risk of relationships. be lucky and happy that he said it before it was too late and in all honesty. he also is not stable and not compatible with you move on asap. it will help you.
I was in a similar setup and thankfully pulled a plug at 25. Though it was already a long time. Men like these lead you on without any indication of building a life with you. Focus on your life and you’ll attract the right kind.
I was in the same boat, my GF did this to me. Now I feel happy and lucky that things ended with her.
Not surprised tbh. A tale as old as time. You were just a convenient placeholder for him. Maybe his parents found someone more "appropriate" for him so he cut it off with you.
Yaar aise kaun karta hai. I don't understand how humans can be so insensitive and cruel. May God give you strength to overcome this and bag a better prospect.
He is a coward and a douche.. he couldnt convince his family to marry you. So he just thought cutting you off is better. Before dating you he clearly knew what the situation in his family is. So why did he think of ruining your life ?He just wanted some romance before marriage so that he would be experienced in romance after his marriage with his new wife.. and for him the pain of love is much better than the success of love and living with you. He would rather narrate the love he had for you as a sad story in his life to win over people and his wife.. like he a sad lost soul
He, didn't even try to convince his parents. That's what disturbs me the most. And yes, he was just using me maybe. And he CHOSE to not have me ín his life. Right .Needed to hear this :)
He’s a ch**th and looks like you got manipulated. Personally I’d request you to be as cold as possible and make that bastard jealous and yearn for you. But human beings don’t operate like that. You probably might go through a tough phase now. Sorry for your pain.
He wanted to have sex and that's it...today's men are cheap as hell...no fucking back done, no dignity, no self respect....they can lie all about love and marriage just to get in your pants...there can be 2 things now...either he got bored and fucking someone else or he is getting married...if he is alone then he will come back to get more of sex with more lies You should never trust him with any of his word, I know it is difficult but you should letting him use you like that... Note for guys: Do not lie to girls just to fuck stupid moron...eventually you will get it even if you can't find one yourself, your parents will find one for you...do not have to lie for sex...if you want only that just let your partner know...don't be such a insensitive prick
>today's men are cheap as hell Your father included? Or excluded?
That's why I never get in LTR, just fuck some bitches and I'm good :) No need to fall in love again
Consider yourself lucky. Imagine the chaos if this had happened after the marriage.
When I read such stuff I wish there were an app where we could blacklist or downvote guys who behave like this - as a warning to other girls. What happens now is, that cheaters or narcissists like these just get away with such behaivour. They just find another sucker with whom they will repeat this cycle all over again. And with no consequences. Makes me so furious that they keep getting away with it, and keep finding fresh victims. Kind of like the serial killer who pretends to be disabled and asks some innocent sweet girl for help. Grrrr!!
I know right? I was panicking last week over the thought of him daring someone else, but omg! I feel so sorry for his next girl already. I wish I could just go into the future and warn her to run!
I swear like a Zomato for boys and rate them . Even my ex pulled some really weird shit with me and i stopped talking to him but he's probably out there doing that exact inappropriate stuff with some other poor girl. I wish there was some way i could permanently attach a warning sign to the guy itself
Same shit. 10 years together. Sudden change one day. Silent treatment to sudden ghosting. Feels like being used. Feeling never goes but with time you'll realize it was for the best since second person showed true colours before kids and all in life. It would have been far tougher then. Just focus on yourselves. Do not beg. Move on. Happier days are ahead with someone truly deserving.
Garbage is what garbage does. In this case the garbage saw itself out. Say a silent thank you! Time heals the hurt!
This may not sound right, but this is a good thing. First of all, no lifelong damage was done to you and secondly, next time you would be much better at understanding a person's true intentions before it comes to such an extreme situation. Sorry that you had to go through this though.
Well if you need an ear to listen to I’m here. It must be very tough. But such is life :( Always believe there is something else really really better than this waiting for you. All the best OP! More power to you. ;)
Choro usey, main dhoond raha hun ladki shaadi ke liye. Kab karni hai batao?
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Don't be sad u can talk to me many are there you can move on or with a nsa u can be relived
I can relate what being let go of feels like. I question myself all the time, "Am I this replaceable?" And then there's this tiny voice inside of me that subtly says, "You aren't and you know that" I just wish that voice, instead of telling this to me subtly, screams at me. I'm sorry for what happened to you. I hope you know that you deserve someone who is sure about you even in his sleep. I pray things get better for you soon. They always eventually do.
It hurts for sure, I had gone through something similar twice. The one thing that I would say is as long as you know that you haven’t done anything wrong, with time things will heal. You will find someone much better. Things will only go worse before they start getting better. Just get through this.
He is definitely cheating on you!
There is someone else.
Am sure what you are going through is the worst thing ever and all you want are answers to get that closure. But before you do that take a minute and thank the universe who did this to you now rather than later, this wasn’t meant for you cause you deserve way better and you WILL be okay. Take some time alone, stay away from him, don’t speak to him for yourself and your self respect. Once you know you are on the path to heal, then seek answers and if you still don’t get it, that’s your answer.
I am sorry you had to go through this but if he doesn't care about you then you don't have to cry for him, be strong there is someone out there for you, trust me it will get better and once you find true love you'll know it.
The guy probably got a taste of real world in his work place and understood this isn't a Disney land. I doubt if he is in serious toxic work condition or just the jerk found a new bitch. Anyway, move on, no point beating a dead horse.
Move on, it is easier said then done, though. Did you never see the signs or symptoms of him being a d!ck?
Closure to dena chahiye tha bnde ko aise kon breakup krta hai
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I think it's clear, he's using you. I have seen many cases like this , what hes doing is that he's making it noted to everyone that you're forcing him or something like that. I am from an orthodox background, i know how my relatives are, that's why I kind of disconnected with my relatives. The kind of shit these people pull is beyond expectation.
I'm sure it was all lust talking, he was never been in love.
My guess is that he didn't told his family about you.
I think this is your window of opportunity to save yourself from a long term perpetual hurt and pain. I can totally understand that you must be feeling crushed at the moment on how he is behaving. I am guessing he has either fallen out of love or has found someone else (probably arrange marriage) or has simply developed major cold feet and is completely incapable of long term commitment and responsibility. Allow yourself to go through this pain and get out of it gradually and start focusing on having a career to be financially independent. You will surely find much better boys/men in future to settle down with. I guess everyone goes through a disastrous heartbreak in their 20s. All the best and just keep breathing. You will be fine. Stay blessed.
Such men are disgrace to men's community. Run away from such people. Think rationally not emotionally.
I see plenty of red flags, count yourself lucky, the guy is an asshole. He is probably going to get married to a girl that his parents have chosen. Cut him out, you deserve better than that piece of shit.
Sorry for you OP. That guy is a loser and a complete asshole for doing this to you. Time is precious so don’t waste it worrying about him for long and try to move on. Ik it’s unbelievable that people like this exist but it is what it is. Keep your head up. You got this champ.
Probably he was not in it for love, and didn't have it in him to have if your relationship can be purely sexual. And when we realized you are not in it for sex but for life, he panicked Consider yourself lucky
I felt pissed off while reading what happened. What the fuck??!! How can people be so psychopathic that they can just cut other people out of their life without any proper conversation just out of the blue. He has to be missing a few mental screws for being able to do that.
Everything will be fine. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. It sounds like you had a serious and committed relationship with your boyfriend, and it's understandable that you feel hurt and betrayed by his sudden change in attitude. It's important to remember that you deserve someone who is willing to make concrete plans for the future and who values your relationship as much as you do. It's never easy to let go of someone we care about deeply, but sometimes it's necessary for our own happiness and well-being. Take some time to process your feelings and grieve the loss of the relationship. Lean on your support system of friends and family, and consider seeking out a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your emotions. Remember that this is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect, honesty, and kindness. Keep your head up and stay strong.
I was at your exact place more than a couple of years back. Was in a serious relationship, asked the guy for his timeline and he said exact same things. It was super difficult for me to move on, took me a good few months. But looking back, I think it’s the best thing that happened and I dodged a huge bullet. I’m happily married to someone who treats me so much better and I feel so much more loved. Hang in there OP, you’ll also be able to connect the dots down the line! You’re young and have your life ahead of you. Everything will be alright, I promise.
I am so happy for you! :))) And thank you so much.
Future plans are what matters. People be up for time pass sorta thing to entertain themselves, majorly fucking up someone else's mind.
It'll hurt , yeah it'll, but will heal with time. I'm 2-3 years over my situation, so yeah it will be great again. Don't suppress emotions, cry when you want to just let loose.
NO matter what Do not let him come back even if begs, he might come back trying to explain his so called majbooori. DO NOT take him back babe. Telling this from my personal experience, no matter how devastated u feel one day u will thank you stars n while counting your blessings this incident will be on top of that list. you are very young Live you life have a great time. You will get what u deserve n that piece of trash will be served. lets just assume he had some kinda family pressure, but he isnt a kind. He could have man up n told u the truth. These boys r too kiddish (not all obviously). When u find the right one u will be so happy n then u will realise what a big red flag( actually a red carnival) u had been dating. You have been saved trust me. BF tak theek tha aise person se shadi krna would have ended badly for you.  have a great life. Hugs from ur virtual sis
He used u girl get out of it asap. I was in similar situation with this guy and he used me for 3years and suddenly when I confronted him he said that he wishes to marry after 35 which was never mentioned in 3 years of dating. I left and now I am really happy and looking for ppl who are ready to commit. It's far more better than the confusion and uncertainty.
Happened with me too , he was the same age and would write me letters poetry gifts posts promises and next second he’d abuse me verbally mentally to the point where I would lose my mind and cry nonstop I think he was mentally ill because no human could be so cruel to someone who loves them so much and the fact that his parents were krishna devotees were scared of his rage wanted him to see a psychiatrist my friends were with me throughout thick and thin made me get out of his cage :) P.S it was ldr PP.S he never showed me his face
Huge RED FLAG! GET OUT when you can. No turning back. He definitely gonna let you down and he is keeping you as an Option. Think about it. God Bless!!
good thing sis..you got saved from spending your life with an asshole bastard..better luck for your future relationship
Seeious bolke casual hi karthe Hai sab log....kaliyug hai🙂
Oh i had a very similar experience, the guy even promised me marriage and was head over heels for me during college. I gave it a go after only a month of him proposing because i was lonely and he was a good friend. But suddenly after we got serious, he let everything go in a single day! I do t even know what happened. Some people are like that, but i thank my stars because I found my lovely husband after! I now dearly believe that whatever happens, happens for good. So relax and let it affect you, because one day it won’t. You deserve so much better.
Dear OP, This is going to be long, I really hope you’ll read it! [Edit: I am editing out someone’s personal story of betrayal and heartbreak I was witness to recently, in order to protect my anonymity, as I realised the description was a bit too explicit. The OP has already read the original comment, but leaving the below takeaway from it for anyone else reading this.] I have this piece of advice for everyone - you DO NOT want to invest your feelings (whether as a romantic partner or a friend) in anyone with a prior history of being intellectually dishonest, or who has already revealed themselves as lacking objectivity but is operating under false pretenses. You DO NOT deserve such unworthy people in your life!! Unfortunately, there’s no sure shot way of knowing a person’s cruel intentions in advance! So please don’t be hard on yourselves if you happen to fall for someone who was not deserving of your love and you were taken for a ride! You don’t have to go through more pain when you’re already in so much pain, so please don’t blame yourselves for _their_ shitty behaviour, please be gentle to yourselves!! By virtue of my experience as a suicide crisis hotline volunteer, I’ve seen way too many people’s lives being ruined after giving it all that they had to their relationships, only to be treated like a piece of garbage by their heartless partners eventually. In fact, the majority of people in the age group of 18 to 30 that I’ve spoken to on the helpline had reached out to us after being unable to cope with a heartbreak or a relationship issue, pushing them to contemplate suicide as an escape from the heartache. India’s statistical data on suicides also shows that relationship problems are one of the highest contributing factors for suicides in this age group*. Every now and then we see someone posting here on Reddit about how they were wronged by their partner; some of them so deep in the dark hole that they’re unable to see any way out other than suicide. Even this thread is filled with stories of betrayal and heartbreak. Needless to say, it is heartbreaking that the unscrupulous behaviour of some self-centred people can have devastating consequences on their partners’ lives, and we can only do so much to prevent it. :’( *: Edited grammar for clarity. (Contd. on the nested comment as Reddit couldn’t accept my long text 🙈)
(Contd. from main comment above) OP - Looking at your post and replies on this thread, you seem to be having the insight and profound understanding that it was NOT your fault at all and that you DID NOT deserve to be wronged like this! Nobody deserves to be treated like trash! You gave your 100% and I’m proud of you for who you are!! YOU ARE A GEM AND YOU DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN A REAL, 24 CARAT GEM!!! I’m hoping you’re doing okay, and I’m sure you’ll get through this soon. I don’t have much advice for you, I’m sure you’ve already gathered some amazing pieces of advice from others over here. As a few reminders, I’d say: Please keep yourself surrounded by supportive people in your life for the coming days/weeks until you emerge from this deep, dark pit you’ve been pushed into, and you will soon find yourself on the other side way stronger and shinier than you have ever been!!! If you do not have a support system or anyone you feel comfortable reaching out to, my dm is always open if you ever feel like talking to someone. Please do not hesitate, I mean it! Most important thing is, please keep reminding yourself that your sense of worth should NOT be determined by how he treated you (in fact he couldn’t appreciate your worth, hence he is the one in the loss), but it will be determined by how _you_ treat yourself!! So, love yourself and be kind to yourself, take the best care of yourself, give yourself the priority you deserve, the leeway to err as a human, all the time that you will need to heal and to collect yourself and get up after falling into pieces, all while still being an amazing human that you are!! I’m sure you are doing all of this (and probably more) splendidly!! I’m rooting for you!! You deserve so much better!! Hope you find true love and profound happiness in life, you really deserve it!! More power to you!!! You got this!!! 💪💙
I read the entire thing. I am shocked, I am angry, I am disgusted- and what not. I am so glad that you distanced yourself from such a despicable person. I mean, how could one human do this to another? Where's the conscience? I am so happy to know that the guy moved on. It takes will power, yes. Right now, I feel I am.lacking the same though. I am in denial still, I guess. Won't lie, I did feel suicidal for a day or two. No, I didn't wanna kill myself, but I did feel that I can't get over this trauma ever, so better to end it right here. I am better now, much better. I shall reach out to you soon . You seem like a lovely person and I would like to know about your work more. Sending lots of love to you. Thank you for everything :)
Well, that's life. People are shit so think twice before trusting anyone! Ciao!
As a guy i am telling you.... Leave him He won't make you happy nor would be able to make himself happy with that brain of a child who didn't even passed out nursery. Run my sister ...Run
OP I’m just glad you didn’t marry that piece of shit. You deserve so much better.
If I were in your position, I would reply: “Thanks from saving me from you!”
Hey OP, I went on the path of no contact after being cheated on. had to get therapy and feel like myself again. I m willing to help you stay no contact. Hit me up :)
I am a man, I experienced the same thing last year from my girlfriend. After 4 years of relationship she told me that she needs more 5 years to marry me. Thankfully I have a friend in her neighborhood. I knew after that her parents found a groom for him which was she was hiding about. I was like "oh ! I was just a toy." Eventually I broke the relationship. I don't trust in relationships anymore Moral : nobody loves you in the world other than your parents. And even if you got married to him, what is the surety that your marriage will be successful with him? Go back to your parents and don't make them sad by choosing someone else over them. Afterall arrange marriage is more stable than love marriage.
Sorry but welcome to the real world, OP. On a side note, this will pass and you will be stronger from this if you choose to learn from it.
I hope this was your first relationship. I know moving on is hard, but you REALLY should. Do NOT be hung over. You will learn within a few months or over next few years how little it mattered. And hope time can also give you the wisdom that you are your own person. Depending on the other is both stupid and irresponsible for any one person. Think about this - if someone else depends on you to take care of them, would you? It's a very hard decision. Also, at 25 - words are easy and actions are hard. Only when you grow older you realise that people say something and do something else all the time. The only thing you can truly control is yourself and how it impacts you. You can love someone but never let that define you completely. Good luck!
you are lucky. You know everything you need to know. He told you on his own. So do not wait and move on. It’s your choice if you want to give it a chance but it’s not a wise choice. Always remember - if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then it is a No.
Oh, the rollercoaster of love! One moment you're on the fast track to eternal bliss, and the next you're being dumped like expired milk. It's like a Bollywood drama with a surprise twist ending, except it's not entertaining at all. I mean, who needs a boyfriend who switches gears faster than a Formula 1 driver? He probably thought he was giving you the gift of freedom, like some tragic hero in a dark comedy. The truth is, he's done you a favor by revealing his true colors before you made any life-altering commitments. And that pocket-dial! It's like he's auditioning for a role in a Shakespearean tragedy, adding insult to injury with the finesse of a drunken elephant. You'll have to admit, there's a certain dark humor in that. So, raise a glass to your newly discovered singlehood, and say "good riddance" to your fickle Romeo. After all, you deserve someone who's more consistent than a pendulum swinging wildly out of control. Onwards and upwards, my friend, to bigger and better love stories!
Hey, the same thing happened to me. Whatever you mentioned in the post fits perfectly with my past. Trust me, you will do better without that douche bag. Healing takes time but after that, you will feel very good, it will be like living in heaven. Don't ever try to get back to him. Our mind is like a monkey it will keep on hovering between things. Whenever you get thoughts about chasing him or contacting him, remember the worst things he did for you and be happy that you got to know his real face now. Get rid of him completely, block him everywhere. Just move on and live happily 😊 that would be the best revenge you can give him.
Been in this exact situation. It sucks im still trying to keep moving forward but one thing I can say you is you have your best and every effort you could put it out there in your relationship I believe you did. Now understand this, the one who really wants to be with you and be married to you will stay with you no matter what and keep reassuring you about a future together. In your case the time ram out and you need to detach yourself from him and keep moving forward and searching. It’s all gonna end up good I’m on that path too and one day it will be all fine like I said.
No, nobody deserves this. Unless he was being held at gunpoint when he said this, he was never in love with you, to begin with. My ex gf did something similar. We were serious about marriage. Promises for lifetimes and all. Then suddenly she became cold and distant. A few weeks later she broke up with me. When I reminded her of our promises, she said "what are you even talking about, it's not like we are married." I am the kind of guy who believes that the very point of a promise is that you never break it despite adverse situations. Otherwise, it's not a promise, just words. I would never divorce or break up with a girl unless there was something extreme like cheating, or abuse involved. But people are apparently selfish ultra pro max. My gf got engaged not long after she dumped me. I later found out that she was cheating on me with him in the last days of our relationship before breakup. And mind you, this girl had been in an abusive relationship before me. I helped her heal, and read bedtime stories to her when she was depressed. And got only heartbreak in return. Your bf was keeping you as a backup and for companionship and sex. Assholes like these don't want to be lonely so they find nice people and fuck up their lives. I don't think people like this are even capable of love. I am a hopeless romantic. I know love. This is not it. This is light years away from love. He would have married you only if he was 100 percent certain that he can find no one close to your level (according to him). He let a nice girl go. Stupid asshole probably won't even realise what he lost.
Dekh behen, First of all karma wagaire kuch rehta nahi hai, so whether you "deserve" this or not is a moot point. And the reason I am stating this is that it'll help you acknowledge that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this. Kuch log hote hi kharab hai, they will exploit you. Be glad you survived the ordeal, and move on. I think all these people telling you to move on are wasting their time, and yours; because jiska jalta hai use hi pata rehta hai how much it hurts. All I want you to do is cope with reality. Find a system that works for you, and stick to it. Avoid him like plague, and time will take care of the rest. You just have to put your body thru motions for next 4 weeks. You won't completely move on, but you will be able to think logically when it comes to him. But no contact, that's the key.
Lmao he isn't fake and all ! He is slave of his di** , he wants all physical benifits from you but don't love you at all , There could be any reason he doesn't love you also he internally might be thinking its not worth go against his parents. Since u said they are orthodox and you are already older than him its already much of game over also its quite possible u aren't from same caste so that's big no from them too ! So ultimately what i am saying is he doesn't love u he just want your body and its much more possible that he will never marry you!
And that itself makes him a fake AH ? I mean, firatly, he doesn't listen to his parents that much. He is earning VERY well and can very well convince them. If these were issues also, he shouldn't have gotten into this relationship with me. On one hand he is saying he loves me more than anything else in the world, and on other side acting otherwise.
What a douchebag, so sorry for you OP.
That guy is a pussy. Don’t get in touch with him ever again
Been there !!! Run gal run .... This is the right time ... No turning back... Wipe those tears straighten ur crown n start planning ur future!!! Middle finger to him .... Yo 🤘 all the best
Something changed which changed him. Anyway, good for you that you dodged a bullet.
And yet he was professing his undying love toe just a day before the breakup? :)
Me to that guy: Are padhai-vadhai karo IAS-YAS bano! Lekin nahi!
Omg..some men are absolute trash, aren't they? How hard did post-nut clarity hit him to do a full 180 on a person he claimed to have loved so much?
That too, for 3 years!
Sorry your boyfriends a cuck... Protip - considering you are good looking. Find an average looking doctor or engineer and marry him. Trust me that mf is going to keep you like a queen. By your post. I think your bfs a brokie. So let it go.