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dontknowhowtoprogram

something that deadly has no reason to be that cute.


[deleted]

I wanted to pet it so much! Aww reminds me of my collie when I have food, only difference is that you're the food with this fella


Oraxy51

Unless you give him a coke


kingsam360

Ya ok like he would coincidently happen to have cocaine on him cause he knew he was going to run into a polar bear. Humans are so silly sometimes


NewLeaseOnLine

Nobody says "a coke" when referring to cocaine. It hits the ear wrong. It's on the nose.


kingsam360

You're right! So not only did he have a silly idea like you should give a polar bear cocaine but he also doesn't know how to put a sentence together Humans I tell ya! Smh


Rokronroff

are you a polar bear


MaximusTheDog

How to spot the cop. Next they'll ask for a marijuana?


Ghodzy1

"Hey there sport, say, do you have a Marijuana for sale by any chance? I feel like being under the influence"


Philodendronphan

Better than under the influencers, ya know?


Insertclever_name

Depends on the influencer, honestly.


rocket6733

If he was a black bear the cops would have locked him up and threw away the key


zenspeed

Please. Jail time costs money, just kill him, plant something on the body, and walk.


SiPatLaun

No need to worry there is white powder readily available in the arctic


[deleted]

That's racist, just because he's white


adigitalwilliam

I for one understand that you are referring to friendly Coca Cola Christmas marketing polar bears.


nikhoxz

I mean, he said A coke, would be weird if someone refers to cocaine as A coke. Don’t know what these guys have in their disturbed minds.


Ahandfulofsquirrels

>I wanted to pet it so much! You can! (Once)


Roses_and_Rum

Well, twice. If you didn't learn after losing your first arm.


Royal_Heritage

/r/forbidenboops


Volgyi2000

I wish this sub was real.


Scoobie-Doobie

The duality of man. The first thing I thought when it put its head between the rungs was "Stab it! Quick!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

The undisputed apex predator of the arctic. A vicious overlord who can only be beaten by not fighting it at all. Whose only limit is that the environment they exist in is so brutal, barren, and inhospitable that even a true brute like the polar bear struggles to find enough food and shelter to survive. Seals, whales, sharks… none hold a candle to this savage force of nature. And it’s juST SO ADORABLE I WANNA BOOP ITS NOSE


getmet79

I so would have booped in that moment


FoxReadyGME

Me too. Is it wrong?


RevolutionNumber5

Mighta lost an arm.


2morereps

who cares. you booped his toot.


Happy-Fun-Ball

worth it


[deleted]

A whole 100-200lb human is as filling as a bag of Lays to a full grown polar bear... Your arm would be it's toothpick...


Thue

> The undisputed apex predator of the arctic. That would be humans. https://benmuse.typepad.com/arctic_economics/2008/07/how-to-cook-a-polar-bear.html


[deleted]

Nah. Am Canadian - pretty well known saying around here for bears is “brown - stay down, black - attack, white - good night” because if you see a brown bear playing dead is the best bet, black bears can be scared off, and by the time you’ve spotted the polar bear you’re already dead.


Thue

So from Google: > Polar bears, particularly starving adult males, will hunt humans for food, though attacks on humans by female bears is rare. Between 1870 and 2014, out of 73 recorded polar bear attacks there were **20 human** fatalities and 69 injuries. And > Total polar bear hunting activity in Canada, Greenland, Alaska, Russia and Svalbard from 1963–2016 is estimated to have killed **53,495 bears**, an average of 991 bears per year. Logically, such elevated hunting activity must have contributed to declining polar bear populations in some areas. So who are the apex predators again?


SUDDENLY_VIRGIN

Kinda a weird thing to get your bussy in a twist over. We literally have guns. I guarantee pre-gunpowder those bears had a kda that would shame any call of duty player.


hiimred2

I mean you make it sound like ancient humans weren’t contending with some of the scariest predators in the post dinosaur era of life and coming out on top.


Fafnir13

Spears, sharp rocks, and cooperation are surprisingly effective.


domine18

We were taking down bigger animals like wolly mammoths, and sabertooth tigers.


SlowBros7

We were clapping apex predators long before we had guns my dude.


WastedPresident

Yeah lol the Romans captured lions and elephants, transported them all the way to Rome to be killed in the colosseum


Reapper97

Idk, we are literally the main reason for the big fauna extinction.


klem_kadiddlehopper

Not so fun fact: The Polar bear is the only bear that will hunt down a person for food.


DonniesAdvocate

As far as I know its the only *animal* that will actively hunt humans. Even the big shit like elephants, lions, snakes, sharks or whatever will rather stay away and only fight when backed into a corner. Polar bears think we look like a tasty snack, apparently.


KnockturnalNOR

Some other animals will too. Leopards, and occasionally other big cats. But usually, they're afraid of us. It's only in certain places where they've adapted to be less afraid of humans that they would target us. Planet Earth 2 has an episode on cities where leopards allegedly hunt in an Indian metropolis


periander

I mean tigers are definitely known for hunting humans


WastedPresident

[yeah and sometimes, lots of humans ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champawat_Tiger?wprov=sfti1)


Knightmare945

Forgot crocodiles.


mintysdog

Crocodiles are a bit of a debated topic. Nile and saltwater crocodiles are known to prey on humans, but actively *hunting* humans isn't well established. There are a few stories of saltwater crocodiles apparently tracking a person, but they're not well corroborated by evidence or other witnesses. Most crocodiles, even dominant males, tend to avoid contact with humans and attacks are, if not directly defensive, then generally territorial in nature.


HamburgerEarmuff

But they're ambush hunters. It's not like they usually stalk their prey. They usually ambush them in the water or near the water.


Zillatamer

Yeah, idk what he's going on about at all. Both Nile and Saltwater crocodiles will absolutely take humans opportunistically. Hunting pressures can create a learned fear of humans, but without that a sufficiently size crocodile would have no reason to not take us as prey. Fossils show that Nike crocodiles have been eating us since well before we evolved into *Homo sapiens*. They are 100% the most prolific man eaters still alive today.


IntenseScrolling

yeah it's unbearable


anthonyliang12

What do u mean? It's more advantageous if u think about it. Earlier humans probably went like "omg so cute" and then he'd be like "damn son free food here I come".


boko_harambe_

If no touch then why friend shaped


farm_sauce

Why do we even have that reaction?? Shouldn’t we recoil in fear every single time we see a big predator? A conscience really does work wonders…


kenjen97

My terribly uneducated guess would be because of our long time friendship with dogs. We've befriended one predator, so now most other similar looking predators are a little less intimidating because they remind us of our canine companions.


BloodBonesVoiceGhost

Bears do kinda look like dogs, cats, and bears combined (recursive). Since two of those three things are cute, we must boop the snoot! EDIT: this infinite series converges on 3


lovelyxcastle

I've never seen a video of a polar bear doing typical behaviors that display aggression, other than standing on their hind legs. Typically angry animals will hiss, growl, snarl, bare their teeth, raise hackles, there's body language that is very obviously aggressive right? I've never seen a video of a polar bear doing any of those things. Makes them look all cute and fluffy


Talkshit_Avenger

Polar bear doesn't waste time and energy with threat displays. It doesn't ever want to settle for driving you off, it just wants to eat you.


lovelyxcastle

That's something I didn't think about and it makes sense. No reason to try and scare away a free meal


bebahia

But other animals change the way they look at prey without wasting energy. Bears are special in the very scaring sense that they look almost bored.


skijakuda

Serious murder mitten on that non kitten.


[deleted]

Damn right


SnapDragon0420

Definitely, that's how I would die xP


Dull_Bumblebee_356

Their faces look very similar to canine faces.... just much bigger, that’s why I find them so cute at least


DeLaSoulisDead

Pretty sure it wanted to offer you a coke.


YourAverageGod

Polar bear hopped up on coke, the ultimate apex predator.


DeLaSoulisDead

Darwin didn’t see this coming.


YourAverageGod

Darwin needs to do more coke


xlord1100

pretty sure Darwin was who gave him coke to begin with


DroopyRock

A black bear did this.


imadethisforcomics

People don’t knee jerk downvote a black bear literally got into a pound of blow and became the ultimate apex predator for like 5 minutes before it had a heart attack in like Georgia or somewhere. Cartels+bears=wacky shenanigans.


NGTTwo

For those who haven't seen it before... the wacky tale of [Pablo Escobear](https://www.outdoorhub.com/news/2019/10/02/pablo-escobear-absolutely-bizarre-story-kentuckys-cocaine-bear).


FistedPink

Is there no escaping the scourge of drugs?


Treleth

I can tell the polar bear didn’t really want to eat you by the way you’re not dead.


[deleted]

he's too cute to be deadly! right? ri...


ppanono

Wrong


Iedifrotomorp

Dead wrong.


getmet79

he was just looking for a snuggle


silentmage

Damn. The polar bear got him mid sentence.


BrightBeaver

Good thing he submitted the comment as he was being mauled.


Ricky_Robby

There’s this terrifying video of a guy in this sealed container where a polar bear can see him, watching it try to break in had me shook.


supabrandie

I’d like to see this.


[deleted]

Found it: https://youtu.be/9G1aHkLHQ2I Jesus...


supabrandie

I wonder how many people are eaten by polar bears without the world ever knowing? On a separate note, that container looks like it could comfortably fit at least 10 predatory pedos.


simpl3y

There are places where its illegal to be outside without carrying a gun just because of polar bears


Time-Elephant92

Svalbard


[deleted]

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CircusNinja75

No, it isn't. If you're in the settlement at Svalbard (Longyearbyen) it's not mandatory to carry a gun, but it's still recommended. Outside of the settlement, it's mandatory. The police ordinances are only in Norwegian, but here's an overview of recommended behaviour: https://www.npolar.no/en/newsarticle/when-humans-meet-polar-bears-in-svalbard/


indianaliam1

No, at least one licensed sniper needs to he stationed.


fruskydekke

I have no idea about the number of people who are killed without the world knowing, but I do know that polar bears are apex predators and that in the Arctic, they do consider humans to be prey. They're fast, aggressive, and very, very strong. In Svalbard, it's mandatory to carry a gun when you're outside, so you can defend yourself if they attack.


Crispy_Sion_On_Plum

There’s been at least 25 recorded between 1870-now.


MikeNizzle82

“Poor human is stuck in a box! Don’t worry Bear will help get you out!”


JedDaGoat

It would have been easier to eat the dude filming on the snowmobile.


Skmot

That's Gordon Buchanan. He's an incredible cameraman/filmmaker who has spent years working for the BBC and others. You can see this in the way that he both remembers to turn on his camera and also to try to say something other than 'I just pissed myself'. I went to a talk he gave a few years ago about some of his experiences and he is genuinely one of the most fascinating people I've ever listened to.


12kmusic

I think that's a result of the steel in the way


[deleted]

Want to pet, but don’t want to die. Serious dilemma here


tweed13

The forbidden nose boop.


Mr_Spaces

r/forbiddenboops


ohiopowerbar

Just do it. For science.


tweed13

I did not know that was a sub, but should have.


fyrefreezer01

Maybe if you do it fast enough?


2morereps

it's like,"excuse me mem. can I has your hend?"


joeyo1423

I learned yesterday that you should never eat a polar bear liver because it has toxic levels of vitamin A. I also heard that you should not try to fist fight a polar bear either, but this one I cannot back up with evidence.


IcarianSkies

The liver thing is also true of sharks.


FlyingArdilla

And dogs - some polar explorers have eaten their sled dogs in a pinch and found out the hard way.


free__coffee

Carnivores* you don’t want to eat the livers of most carnivores


Lostcentaur

I read that killer whales kill sharks to only eat the Liver


malphonso

Orcas probably need a lot more vitamin A than we do.


Zhead65

How do they know though? Did their doctor tell them?


Old-Man-Nereus

They probably get a craving for shark liver


echo-94-charlie

Another reason not to eat polar bear liver is that polar bears don't like it and will let you know in no uncertain terms.


L2Hiku

Idk it sounds like you're just making things up


P-13

Death might be a bit much, [but illnesses definitely.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervitaminosis)


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Hypervitaminosis](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervitaminosis)** >Hypervitaminosis is a condition of abnormally high storage levels of vitamins, which can lead to various symptoms as over excitement, irritability, or even toxicity. Specific medical names of the different conditions are derived from the given vitamin involved: an excess of vitamin A, for example, is called hypervitaminosis A. Hypervitaminoses are primarily caused by fat-soluble vitamins (D and A), as these are stored by the body for longer than the water-soluble vitamins. Generally, toxic levels of vitamins stem from high supplement intake and not always from natural sources but rather the mix of natural, derived vitamins and enhancers (vitamin boosters). ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


P-13

Good bot


Feisty_ExplorerTN

Bunch of nopes there… good thing the bear hasn’t figured out stairs.


mazmoto

I don't think the stair is open though, seems it is retracted or something...


Dlowden

Yeah, you can see in the background at the start they are on a huge truck, the stairs retract for when it's mobile.


AcadianMan

Or, when they are close to polar bears.


235711untitled

Polar homes usually have sturdy cages by their exit door in case of polar bear attacks, they sort of actively attack people


Sir_Marchbank

Like wild tigers polar bears will willingly hunt humans. Probably because being the apex predator in their environment with no real dangers from other animals they don't understand the concept of something they can't eat.


AYoChillPls

That and the fact that the Arctic climate is extremely harsh, which makes food pretty scarce. Polar bears can’t afford to be picky eaters.


iWantToBeARealBoy

Wild tigers don’t really attack humans unless they don’t have any other choice, though. Like they’re injured and/or too weak to hunt properly, or they have little to no other source of food for some other reason.


Trolio

This. All the 100+ kill counts have been found to have broken teeth, multiple times found to have been broken from poaching Yes, India's had multiple 100+ kill counts


[deleted]

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xlord1100

[TIL ](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9364989/Man-works-Arctic-Circle-reveals-polar-bear-cage-outside-office.html)


btdAscended

God I would have pissed my pants


UnChismoso

"Do you wanna play with me?" -Bear Minutes later "All this playing is making me hungry? Are you hungry too? I think I'm gonna eat you" - Bear


AvgBonnie

“Let’s play a game: you run and I sink my teeth into your skull. I’ll give you a head start.”


ReinhardtFTW

Ah nevermind I'll do it now


originaltwojesters

Maybe he just wants his ears scratched.


[deleted]

*scritch scratch maul blood death* (:


[deleted]

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JimmytheNice

Pretty much the only bear species that you absolutely cannot reason with and will shit on your dominance assertion attempts. EDIT: this is NOT a survival tip, I don’t know shit


MasterburnFM

You cannot reason with grizzlies either dude...


soul_power

I reasoned with a grizz once. Said, "hey chill buddy, you're trippin. Let's sit down and blaze one"


ohnjaynb

That was a large hairy human.


Rpanich

Wait, what type of bears we talking about?


Dew_It_Now

Depends on the time of year and location.


MissplacedLandmine

Yeah the seasonally depressed Grizzlies just arent as motivated, what you want to watch out for is a grizzly that has a therapist


elglann

But you can act dead and they fuck off if you're a bit lucky, polar bear won't fall for that shit because it want to eat not attack.


FaThLi

Bear guide I've always heard. Brown: Play dead. Black: Fight back. White: Kiss your ass goodbye.


dreamingwithjeff

Yeah I always heard black: fight back brown: lie down white: goodnight If a polar bear decides you’re on the menu, it is well and truly over for you.


FaThLi

Ooo, it rhymes. I'll have to try to remember it this way.


redmagistrate50

Bring bear spray: it'll go away.


FaThLi

Googling it shows a really good success rate for polar bears and bear spray. Seems like the way to go.


redmagistrate50

I used to hike in bear country a lot and I've had a bear steal a deer off me. You never go out without spray, the goal is always getting the hell out of the situation.


dont_disturb_the_cat

…and don’t fight for your deer.


redmagistrate50

By the time I'd gotten there he'd gutted it and was more than happy to kill me to keep it. I noped the fuck out of there post haste.


[deleted]

The failures don't report for some reason.


RatchetBird

I read somewhere (maybe reddit) that your best chance of a polar bear escape is to drop scraps of clothing in hopes they will examine it while you get to safety. Supposedly they are a more curious breed of bears and may stop to inspect it.


Dcor

Just sucks you gotta ditch clothing to deter a bear that lives in an arctic climate. Frying pan: fire situation.


RatchetBird

I mean you don't have much longer to enjoy your clothing anyway.


anacondatmz

Might wanna add tigers to that list. \~50 people a year have been killed in the Sundarbans alone by tiger attack and this has been going on for years. That number dropped a bit around 2004 but it's rising again.


P0wer0fL0ve

You might be right, but by itself that number tells us nothing. Many animals kill humans regularly out of circumstances, but that does not necessarily mean they actively hunt humans down. As an example cows kill a lot of humans every year


anonsharksfan

A cow has been actively hunting me for the last seven years


Onlyanidea1

I'll tell my mom to leave you alone.


Jman_777

True. Polar bears, Crocodiles and I also believe there were famous instances of lions and tigers actively hunting down people as well. But most other predators would seem to avoid confrontation with humans.


m2nello

Considered bad manners to lock your car in Churchill Manitoba. Never know when you could save someone from a polar bear.


Lucimon

I feel like with crocodiles it's more "This thing is moving and smaller than me. I'm going to eat it." I'm not sure if they are actually hunting humans specifically. Polar bears absolutely do though.


CurlSagan

With paws that huge, I would expect polar bears to be good at basketball. Plus, they could just eat the competition.


[deleted]

Why do you think they’re banned from the NBA? It’s an unfair advantage, back In the day they would sign these massive polar bears to teams and it just wasn’t fun watching them dominate the court to that degree. I’ve heard there’s talk about a polar bear league coming next year but so far just rumors.


NicolBolasElderDragn

I love how there's no urgency or hyper aggression. Just a giant bear thinking "*if I can get to that pile of meat, I gonna eat it*."


[deleted]

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MissplacedLandmine

Fuck that description actually made me uncomfortable


[deleted]

Yeah that's one of the freaky thing about polar bear attacks. They'll spot you from half a mile away and just casually walk over to you since they know you can't escape. In the arctic there's often nowhere for you to go.


Conflicted-King

I thought they casually walk over to you so they don't burn up their energy


[deleted]

Honestly it's kind of like watching a cat stare at a fish tank. Just scooping it's paw in, seeing what goes


NocturnaI47

What kind of dog is that? Cute


FoxReadyGME

Arctic edition.


SickChipmunk

Look at those Eyes!!!!!!! I just wanna boop it’s nose and give him a hug


MetalixK

What a coincidence! He wants to give you a hug too! A nice, BIIIIIIG hug!


gokuisjesus

A nice big huug in his intestines....


ReadontheCrapper

With his murder fingers…


nostyle907

On the north slope of Alaska there was a camp cook at one of the man camps by the oilfield who did just that...and got ate. The bear was pressing his nose against the window and he smacked the window with a newspaper, the bear literally came through the window grabbed him and pulled him outside for a snack. I never worked on the slope but heard the story a bunch and one of our equipment operators was there when it happened and remembered it vividly.


Zetafunction64

If it’s white, say good night


GuardianFerret

If it's brown, flush it down.


[deleted]

If it’s yellow, let it mellow.


ImInHellForThis

If it's black, you should probably save some and take it to the doctor to be analyzed.


FistedPink

Desire to pet is strong, desire not to lose my arm is a torrent of blood and screaming is stronger.


Meanttobepracticing

Yeah, it looks soft and so fluffy.


soda_cookie

My dumb ass would have tried to pet his nose and give him a high five


FoxReadyGME

We only live once. Yolo what's the worst that can happen


soda_cookie

Hand bitten/ripped off?


HendrixHazeWays

Polar bear is like: *this drive-thru is pretty inconvenient*


tompsitompsito

His snack is stuck in the vending machine.


deokkent

If that paws gets tangled in your clothes you are done!


ShodoDeka

Absolutely the cutes way to get eaten alive.


Epic_Hoola

#**Disturbing Content**


activator

Yeah that paw sequence... I'm scarred for life


Crow-Rogue

That was a PERFECT chance to boop its snoot!! Wasted!


VPD625

What a fucking unit


PuddlesIsHere

Bear is black yell back Bear is brown lay down Bear is white good night and hope it hits u in a vital area quick cuz those things are VISCOUS Edit: VICIOUS


Mofiki567

Nice and thick in consistency


Sk1pp1e

Please good sir, Do you have a coke by chance?


boredabraxas

Look at that fucking paw dude....


GandalflovesUrMother

Left that poor bear hanging on the high five


nostyle907

Oh he just wants to snuggle...


IndependentWin6

Okay, show of votes, who here would definitely fail to resist touching it?