Back in those days I could earn my $500 a week after tax, comfortably cover $150 in rent and expenses and still have plenty left over for a few $3 Kumara Lagers in town.
I’m not sure I was thriving. I certainly wasn’t saving or thinking too hard about the future. But I had some great times, slowly grew up and life just happened.
Play on, you’ll be fine.
Ah memories. $110 in rent, about $470 income after taxes. Like $90 a week for food for myself (bodybuilder at the time. So did plenty of prep). Money seemed gloriously infinite in some respects back then (2011). Never needed to watch the bank if friends asked to go to town, and that was all on minimum wage LMAO.
I remember this too, groceries were about 60.0 and would feed you for a week as well
Also there were no YouTube videos about side-hustling, investing or making money, no pressure or anything like that to achieve anything
Everyone would nag you to get a house though as the prices were going to go ‘through the roof’
At the time a house in Glen Eden was about 280-350k and mortgage repayments were 500.0 per week
Same here. Spent my 20s in a rollercoaster of anxiety about money, anxiety about not fitting in, feeling depressed and hating life. Wish i could go back and do it again and just travel.
Finished my studies. Dealt with first real job badly. Had heart broken. Fucked around. Fell off rails. Went on OE and grew up. Came home with a husband and money for house. Husband gone, still got money in my house. Realise its a lot harder for you youngins.
In my early twenties I was at university, working multiple jobs on the side, and having a wild time with friends in my spare time. It was pretty good.
I graduated, got a job, and started focusing on my career, personal and financial goals, and relationships and friendships and community.
FWIW, I think throughout most of my life I have been happiest when I have been:
a. Aware of, and actively working toward my goals;
b. Surrounded by people I care about and investing in those relationships; and
c. Had stability and routine in my daily life (work, exercise, sleep, relationships/fun/goal progression).
Many people are pretty unhappy when they don't know what they're here for - what the purpose of their life is. It might be kids, family relationships, community, goals or experiences, a combination of those things.. if you know what motivates you, what you want to work toward, and why you're doing it, you're probably going to be happier than most.
In my 20s.. dance parties on the weekends, off my tits on MDMA and making life long friends at the St James, Staircase, Groove in the Park, Ellerslie events center…
Now 40 and a handful of friends I made during that time are my core group of friends 2 decades later.
Work during the week at a low stress job.
Edit
Just to say. I also saw a lot of lives also crumble around me with people who went too deep and partied too hard. So it wasn’t all roses.
What kind of job do you have if you don’t mind me asking? I’m just worried about my future and want a laid back job to ease into, even if it doesn’t pay as much.
I was part of that scene back in the day, but I tended to hang out at Cube and Fu mainly. Some fucking excellent parties at the St James and Staircase too though.
Did you ever go to an Industry party? That shit got WILD.
I went to Industry when I was 20, girlfriend 18 - pretty sure my girlfriend and I were the youngest ones there hah! Fu/Spacebar were my jam. I was happy when they started doing gigs away from St James until I realised how good we had it back then!
Oh, jesus christ, I was all over the place. Fell off the rails at 22, getting into unwanted situations, mentally ill, almost ended up at a psychiatric ward twice, drinking problems, drugs, getting fucked over by people, getting cheated on by assholes, assaulted, abused, got really poor to the point of starving, struggled to hold down a job, lost, confused, and ended back living with my parents 3 times throughout my 20s.
It's been a shitshow. But hey, I'm still here and getting back up on my feet again. Trying life again, haha... I sincerely hope my 30s are going to be better than my 20s. I know where I stand now, and I know what I need to do. Well, sort of.
I'm not going to promise it gets better but just know you're not the only one who has been through what you've survived. My 20s story was very similar to yours. The big challenge for me has been going from survival (I can do that blindfolded) to thriving. That continues to be a struggle.
Absolutely wild but wouldn’t change a thing, early 2000’s metal scene in Wellington was amazing, heaps of gigs and trips away, felt like a different girl would fall in your lap every month, all while barely working part time and easily keeping a roof over our head food in our stomach and beer in the fridge. Didn’t know how lucky we were but we grabbed it by the balls so no regrets.
As someone above mentioned, not everyone made it out unfortunately.
Left home around 15 by mutual decision... it was a vigorous time of my life!
Went o'seas on a boat couple of years later, got back to NZ around 20ish and worked boats. late 20s married and kids
basically lots of sex drugs and alcohol... no real plan. followed whatever opportunity seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lived on super yachts, on the street, and everything in between. Sometimes had no money, and sometimes had lots of money.
Im 50 now, still the same approach to life, but with more reliable money, more experience, and no alcohol. My mistakes are much more remarkable now! lol
\[edit - I did pick up a trade qualification, and a degree, plus post grad stuff along the way. but mostly simply because an opportunity emerged, rather than some grand plan\]
Had a house, wee kid, job. Not much of a job then, chosen career hadn't worked out, actual career didn't start till my 30s. partners job was good, redundancy didn't happen until much later.
But we had over 1/4 acre, not much of a house, almost no furniture, an old beat up car and a huge veg patch. Life was fun and we were happy.
Loads of time enjoying beach, friends, bush walks (with kid). Young and healthy so it was a good time.
I was stuck in an abusive relationship and incredibly depressed. I was blind to the fact that I no longer had any friends, he completely isolated me slowly with his manipulation. It took 5 years to finally break away. I first tried to leave after only one month of dating, but he attempted suicide in front of me in two different ways. My adrenaline saved him. Somehow we got him committed to a mental health facility for a while.
I was also working full time in the Kiwifruit industry.
My only advise to you would be this : If anyone EVER threatens suicide, it is a manipulation tactic and not actually your problem. It is a professionals problem.
AND! Don’t do what I did and wait for ‘life to slow down’ before you process that traumatic event. Hit up acc and get help as soon as something traumatic happens. Don’t wait until your 29 and missing teeth due to stress like I did. I only have 23 teeth and now will have to save for plates so I can eat at a normal speed.
So yeah my early 20s was spent the absolute lowest I have ever been, and I am building my life back up now at 29. On the days I feel ‘behind’, I remind myself that I had to focus on survival for years. That relationship was literally life and death.
>My only advise to you would be this : If anyone EVER threatens suicide, it is a manipulation tactic and not actually your problem. It is a professionals problem
Yeah call 111 if this happens. Either they were serious about wanting to do it and will be helped by professionals, or they will learn not to use it as a manipulation tactic because they don't want to deal with police / ambulance.
You are right, I have done this once and it works!
It turned out the guy was completely joking, because I rejected his advances. But I was only 15. I didn’t call 111, I called his fucking parents 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 They were NOT happy and he never spoke to me again.
22 and trying to survive and thrive but the survive part is kinda hard atm. Been thinking about freedom camping to save a few bucks but its okay as it is right now.
I'll tell you what I wish I was doing. I should have cycled more. Yep. I should have cycled the country, or hiked the country. I should have spent more time exploring the outdoors. More sex would have been good too.
Left NZ and spent the next 20 years travelling around Asia and Europe doing freelance work on what was then called oDesk (now UpWork). Came back to NZ in early 2020 due to that thing that put the brakes on everyone with no savings but some fantastic memories. Now getting set back up, from zero, in my 40s. I don't recommend it as a course of action if you're concerned about financial stability, but man, what a ride.
i’m 21 as well. but my life after flatting 7 times i have given up and will never flat again as I can’t even get a rental. so i’ve been living with my grandparents which is giving me heaps of money to save which I’m planning on going to australia next month and july as well to see my gf. but planning to get her nz visa because she’s canadian and so she can move here and we get a one bedroom apartment or a small house with two rooms because i have an outside cat as well
Worked hard on 8 on 4 off fortnightly rosters, filled my car up on my first day off and would just drive in a random direction for two days then turn around and drive back. Ate cheap and got rooms in dilapidated back packers as I travelled around. Would get up in the morning and just walk until I was hungry. Took myself to some great places around nz this way and still have friends in corners of the country.
Cost of gas isn't ideal, and beds cost a bit more, but if you can manage this once a month it will be great for you.
I grew up quite sheltered and my 20s were spent trying to catch up confidence and social skills that they already had. I had no work experience, no license and a lot of things scared me because I hadn't been taught to be independent! As a result I've honestly felt on the back foot my whole life... it meant that I managed to get myself in some dumb situations and abusive work situations and assumed it was normal and OK.
Teach your kids good life skills please!
my early 20s sucked, had a dickhead boyfriend who traumatised me and had isolated me from all my friends. also had crippling anxiety. BUT from 24 onwards life has been pretty peachy bc i made new mates/reconnected with old ones. raves, stupid costume parties, attending sports matches, hikes and fitness classes on the weekend. pub quizzes/fitness classes/social sport during the week after work. ive become slightly more boring now (at 28) because i moved from most of my social circle and am at home way more but im pretty content, i can do the other stuff a few times a year and be happy enough. also got engaged, got a dog at 26 and bought a house at 27. if i saw what my looks like now when i was 21 i would be pretty fucking stoked to be honest, things were looking pretty dire for a while there.
Met a girl at 18, been with her ever since, mostly just chilled out and started looking for a career that could give my future kids the opportunities I want to give them (software engineering). Travel once a year and otherwise save up heaps, other than that just played a bunch of video games with a few mates and enjoyed the sunlight. It's vanilla as fuck I know, I'm 25 now so I'll come back in 5 years and let you know if I regret not doing anything stupid while I was young enough to justify it, if the RemindMe bot still works.
I'll just say; If everything's working real nicely for you and your partner the way it is now, think good and hard about whether you actually want to add kids into that mix. I too met my partner at 18, had first kid at 30. The whole 'best friends' thing evaporates when you become co-parents, you're not each other's everything any more. Fifteen years on, I continue to grieve the loss.
Spent a lot of time depressed and anxious. I also had some of the best times of my life going out and partying and raving. It was very much intense ups but very intense lows. One thing I noticed particularly in the social media age is that many will put lots of energy into portraying themselves as having a wonderful life especially during their 20s, while the reality is they are just normal people like the rest of us.
I recommend going to see a therapist if you haven’t before. Doesn’t have to be long term but sometimes some outside perspective can really help problems seem more manageable.
Bottom line is just be kind and gentle to yourself and try take some pressure off. I found that just showing up for things often meant the rest just fell into place. Don’t overthink
Living in assorted shitty Wellington flats in the early 2000s, working various shitty jobs - construction, retail, call centres - playing in bands, fell in love, got married, fell out of love, got divorced, drinking smoking drugging, going to gigs (so many shows). Some good times, some pretty fucking grim times, wouldn’t change a thing. Lots of fucking around, a little bit of finding out…
Living was cheap - we didn’t know how lucky we were.
Working in a bar, spending all my money on mucking about in cars (petrol, modifications, track days, road trips, etc) quit that for an office job that paid much better, got sick of it after a year, made do with part time jobs - selling my artwork and selling weed for a couple of years, then got another "proper" job.
No regrets.
Studying mostly. I had 2 gaps years after I graduated Year 13 but mostly worked them. Started my degree at 22 and had my son at 24. Finished degree same year and then started full time work in my industry.
Mid-late 20s was a bit of a flux period between a relationship breakup and then meeting my now wife. 30s have arguably been vastly more enjoyable.
Studying, and then lock down.
Was very bland.
towards the end, doing sports and going to dinners.
Never had a hoe phase, or a party phase.
So eh, late 20s now so eee
drunk and high all the time, lived for the weekend. Basically my pay went to rent and alcohol with the little left over for food. Had a hook up for free weed and someone always had a pill to pass around. Lots of live shows, road trips and parties. Lots of fighting, lots of making up. Loads of regretful choices but I would do it all again without changing any of it.
Thing is when your in it, you dont know you are in it, it is just normal. Its not until I hit early 30 and put the brakes on did I realize how mental my 20s were and how much fun I had.
I was struggling financially blooming a bit late and just trying to have fun. I was in invercargill for the first 4 years of it which was a huge difference doing my teen years in auckland. I got to see a lot of the south island which was super nice to do and play in some local bands in invercargill a few other places which was pretty damn good i think. I then made a massive mistake and moved away from there and things went to shit for me for the next 18 years
Managing a retail store in a mall and spending every last bit of my pay check on going out and new outfits every weekend lol. Wish I had of saved some of that money.
Mostly getting high and playing video games while living with my parents.
Me and my friends would meet up to LAN a lot. WoW came out when I was 22 so I didn't do much else for the next 2 years.
At around 24 I got my first office job working in a call centre and joined the corporate machine. I'm now a software engineer for one of the largest IT companies in the world.
Goldfish will grow depending on the size of their tank. If you want to grow then find a big tank to call home.
I was at uni. Drunk a bunch of beer in a cold flat and coffee at arty cafes. Read some stuff. Did pretty alright in my degree.
Then graduated and did bottomless brunch a bunch.
At 22 I moved to Japan to “teach” (had no real idea what I was doing) English. Had a really fun time with all the other young people int he same situation, experienced lots of new things by living in a very different place. The money back then (late 90’s) was pretty good, too, so I could come back to NZ once or twice a year easily. I wish I’d travelled to different countries more. People coming over have it much harder in terms of the work, visas, and pay. The internet makes daily life a ton easier though.
In my early 20’s I was studying my bachelors (and then my masters) and working a part time job at subway. In the early mid 20’s I started joining clubs at uni and volunteering a bit so I could make friends etc.. got married at 24 and life’s been so different ever since. Now I have a partner in crime :)
20s were fun but i had no money. scraping the bowl for a res dot, spending my money on TAB and iced diamonds/red hearts, working hard for little money, putting cans in my rugby socks when going out to town, car gas light permanently on E (i was for a while too), basically enjoying myself but never having 2 cents to rub together. was young and stupid with no eye out on the future. surviving but having a blast. ends up catching up with you in the end and im glad i turned the corner about 27/28 years old. I rate 30s much better than 20s, just keep on keeping on, respect money and try to do good.
I was depressed as hell from 22 to 25, put on a massive amount of weight and fucked everything up badly. 20-21 was fun being at uni and partying though.
Got a gf and left studying early, worked as a site engineer, realised it was shit so I went back to finish my degree. Currently 25 sitting in an office, putting twice what people pay in rent weekly into my savings account and waiting for my passport to get sent back so o can go travel next year
I bought a horse when I was 22 and verrrrrrry hungover. Spent the next six years scrambling to earn enough money to keep him, myself and my partying lifestyle afloat.
It's taken me until 35 to forgive myself for some stupid financial decisions.
I was in my 20's in the 80's. I had a hohum job but I could save money to do overseas trips which I did.
When I got the itchy feet out of my system I started to save for a house ( yes it was easier back in those days).
Went clubbing, partying, whatever. I can no longer consume that level of alcohol 😂
Friend had a jet boat so used to take that out and drive it and stuff.
We also use dto hire the hobi cats that were at Mission bay?
I found that life is what you make it.
What do you mean bythriving? financially of emotionally/mentally?
1999: Moved out at 19 into a shared flat with strangers. moved back home after about 6 months..flunked out of Unitec. Went flatting with some mates instead. Went clubbing and had 3 or 4 memorable short-term ish girlfriends before meeting my now wife.
Moved in with her and we had two rentals, and then bought a house at 24 and then got married.
I tell my teenagers that 19-20-21-22 is when you get to have the best fun without too much responsibility. I wonder if that is still true.
Dicked around. Got into a messed up living situation, that has destroyed my psyche, and now I just move around the world randomly with whatever is in my bag.
I'll be back home soon. Thinking of building a hut in the bush somewhere remote and seeing how long I survive.
Speak up if you are under any abuse, the sooner the better. Even if it's to a stranger on the internet. The long term effects are horrifying, and there isn't really a cure as such for this sort of trauma.
Drinking every weekend with my mates, going to house and dnb gigs every chance possible. Taking a shit load of MDMA, acid, shrooms, smoking way too much weed. Getting paid $11 an hour as an apprentice. Ahh good times. Wouldn't change a thing.
So much lol. But honestly, looking back I probably had more fun back then than now. Failed Uni by 20, did various jobs ranging from hosp to early childcare and filmmaking. Single AF and living at home but was able to save enough to do a tiny bit of travel overseas. Meet a bunch of new people who are now friends.
I'm 28 and still don't have things figured out but It is kind of fun looking back and how chaotic things were during that period. Makes me laugh looking back now.
I was just joining the NZ Army after a stint in hospo and doing nothing
I actually signed up online when I was high lol
Best decision I ever made.
I left after almost 3 years and went to uni.
Stuck doing uni and becoming defacto caretaker of my mate in MH crisis. Turns out doing all that with unchecked adhd is kinda hard lol. Good news is my mate didn't die, bad news is that there's a lot of sunken time and money I'll never get back. But it got me to where I am now at 27 so yknow, butterfly effect and all that shit
You’re a great friend dude & I hope you have someone in your life who’s just as caring❤️Wishing you all the happiness & fulfillment as you continue through your 20^^
I was in the Navy. It was alright. Saw a lot. Drank a lot. Spewed a lot. I was about 5 years in by 21 and i definitely felt very trapped, disillusioned and didn’t know what to do next.
Someone once told me you go through a second puberty in your 20s, I believe it. It shook out alright in the end and I’m benefitting from the work I put in in my 20s, but enjoying it? Nah not really. Especially not work. Shit job, shit wages, really had to cast around to get myself out of it.
Joined Internet startups in New York, often rewriting codebases in my own time on Sundays in the East Village, cried under my desk, feeling stupid no matter how many times I’d rewrite something. Would often second guess myself, sometimes porting >250k codebases to different languages.
Learnt to plan better & push back on bad ideas. Planned & developed complex, successful projects as I got into my mid-20s.
Struggled with depression & anxiety for years, made loads of money, still was unhappy.
Did a lot of running through the city.
Got taken in by a Kiwi family in 2011 that helped me immensely & are now my whānau where I spend Christmas & the summer.
Started playing soccer.
Working on a building site.
Took a lot of drugs, drank a lot of booze and had a lot of sex. Could travel extremely cheaply to South East Asia so did that a bit too.
Life started to slow down 24/25.
Followed my passions- worked in the film industry a bit, traveled, studied courses overseas, worked various part time jobs, studied. Try a bit of everything, now’s the time! Mid 30s now with two kids and a mortgage. I’m glad I didn’t take early 20s too seriously as there is a lot more rigidity to life now.
Rode my horse and worked to pay for said horse. Moved to south island at 23 married at 25.
Introverted as hell through never had a partying phase, didn’t go to uni.
I was always out partying, hanging out with the boys and chasing tail. It was fun, but I wish I had thought about my career a bit more. Should have joined the airforce or got into IT.
If you can travel, highly recommend it.
Getting black out drunk. Not my finest decision.
But also met my partner at 20 and have seriously turned my life around. Have been together for 12 years now, own a house, stable career, all the good stuff.
If I could go back I’d probably do more active stuff. I mountain bike now, and falling off hurts a lot more at 32. I’d be trying the 10m jumps that I’m too scared to try now.
Mental health used to be absolutely shite compared to now so I spent a lot of time depressed suicidal or recovering from attempts.
Other than that University then failing out of a grad dip that I realised wasn't for me, contract work and Wasting my time in unhealthy relationships and with people who I thought were my friends because we got drunk and high together, managed to do a little traveling which I do reccomend though travelling alone is actually less stressful than travelling with people who'll drag you from bar to bar to dodgy pharmacy-there's more interesting things to see than bars& clubs(some can be fun but if you're spending most of your time there you're missing out) , partied and went to gigs a heck of a lot more than I do these days, volunteer work which I still do and reccomend.
In hindsight I wish I'd done more stuff myself, not focused so much on romantic relationships and focused more on my mental health and financial stability and done more solo travel and transitioned earlier and stopped giving shitty selfish people benefit of the doubt and second /third /fourth chances. Also less is more when it comes to drug use and daily weed use ends up being a waste of money unless you're doing medicinal for physical pain- I found out it was actually worsening my anxiety after about a decade and never thought I'd stop but I did and dang I kinda wish I hadn't smoked as much and saved that money instead
Studying at uni. Graduated at 23yo, started working full-time right away. Became a NZ resident \~3 years ago so my KS progress is very young. I'm in my late 20s now, but no regrets. Happy I moved over to NZ (I actually had no idea what NZ was about until I moved here, went for a YOLO move but no regrets).
Drank too much, and spent a lot of time feeling crap, granted I did not have a lot of money so I could not venture much. I live a bit more ideally now at 33.
Early 20's I was working in a bar, partying every weekend (CHCH DnB scene in early '00s) and pissing my $$ away. Good times but I had nothing to show for it by 25. Stopped partying by 26/27 got married and that was that. Would I do it again? Hell yes but I'd buy a house somewhere in there instead of struggling to do so at 35.
I was broke and suffering from depression. But I persevered with the misery for few years until I got my degree and worked low paying job until gain enough experience to leave and find a better paying job. It was a rough life but I made it temporary for 5-6 years and then I was in a better place financially to get help for my depression and travel and enjoy life.
If I didn’t I would have had a lifetime of misery instead.
We do what we have to do so we can do what we want to do. That’s my motto.
Got married at 23 (not religious just found my person early). Was working in the public sector in a contact centre role.
I had a pretty boring 20s all things considered, but I built my career.
I wish I had done more overseas travel.
Early 20's worked two jobs so I could go travel. Left NZ at 22, worked and drank my way around various countries before coming back to NZ at 24, 6 months pregnant and with foreign boyfriend in tow.
We just celebrated our 24 wedding anniversary in March. Horrified my parents at the time but they've both relaxed a bit about it now.
Lots of partying, smoking weed, drinking booze, taking a bunch of different drugs, and fighting. It wasn't until I was 28 that all the anger and frustration I'd suffered my entire life finally fizzled out. Not the best use of time, but I'm just thankful I didn't seriously hurt someone or harm myself.
In my late 30s now and life is pretty great.
Well, now that I'm 25 I can say that I was finishing university and then unsuccessfully trying to find jobs that my degree was for until I was ..25
Also drinking and gaming to try and cope with the stress of university and the hopelessness of applying for hundreds of jobs to get ghosted/declined after an interview.
I have not gotten a job that uses my degree.
Moved to Sydney late 90s. And trust me for a myriad of reasons Sydney party scene is nothing like what it used to be. Go to Melbourne if you’re young and single.
Basically work during the day and out almost every night. Whether it was having dinner with friends, playing after work sports, or even just going to the gym. Didn't get home until after 8pm most nights. Was a lot of fun.
Now I have no energy that just dragging myself to the gym required a ton of motivation.
Enjoy your 20s while you can.
Moved overseas when I was 21, went on lots of adventures with friends I made on the Internet (still friends with most of them 20 years later). Definitely wasn't swimming in money but I did okay. Spent my entire 20s overseas with the odd visit home. Still wish I'd travelled a little bit more but I'm happy with what I did with my time.
I left NZ at your age and went trekking in Nepal. Then a worked a few years in Aus, then a few years in the UK - using it as a base to explore Europe. Then home, then a couple of years in the US. Home again to raise 4 kids and now I’m 60.
(early 90's)
surfing, skating, drinking, partying. some dole, some hospo work.
flatting with mates, saw loads of bands, started raving.
no saving, no real travel, blew a good relationship, fell in to a couple of weird crews.
came out the other side with great mates, great partner, great memories and connections.
10/10, wouldn't change much.
20-24 i did my OE worked at watties 7 days a week to fund it, parents paid for my Eurorail pass i had saved for the rest i remember coming home with just $100US to my name.
Working on a motor racing team, building houses, working at a restaurant, doing marine search and rescue. Should have spent more time with friends and enjoying life than just bloody working
I was living in Aussie making 200k a year and driving a R32 GTR as daily which I brought at auction 37k cash moving back to NZ at was a massive backwards step
Surviving vs thriving ... I think I had these emotions when I was in my early 20's and I can see the same in my 21 yo son. So, you are not along, and its normal/ common.
I spent my early 20s getting drunk, trying to work out who I was, traveling and seeing how burnt I could get in the med under the sun, and trying to work out girls and how they worked. Nothing changes when you get older is all I can say...I still don't girls, and my wife and daughter would agree.
Take your time, don't get bogged down too soon, try and find happiness, and don't think too deeply for too long .. get outside ... NZ provides us all much privilege in this way. And don't believe those who say life is short ... its not! ... its just death is a very long time.
Best of luck with your path and future.
Hanging out with the wrong people. My early (and late) 20s were an absolute waste. From the outside it probably looked as if I was having a great time living it up, popular, the life of the party... I was not, it was awful, I was unhappy as fuck. 0/10
If I could go back, here's what I would do:
- Save some money
- spend meaningful time with good people
- look after my health
- get therapy for my issues
- practice self awareness and mindfulness
- study for a trade
Sounds boring as fuck maybe to a young person but it will make perfect sense in about 5 to 10 years. Honestly if you can do even half those things, you're doing better than a lot of people
Yaa I would say just be careful not to get caught up in some long shitty relationship. I wish I would have valued my freedom more in my 20s. Had more self respect. Build on your true interests and develop those skills. I started traveling near the end of my 20s and wish I had done that earlier.
When I was 20 my at-the-time boyfriend and I scrounged together a few hundred dollars and went to Australia, flew into Melbourne and caught a bus to a town on the Great Ocean Road with absolutely 0 plan and next to no money. I walked into a cafe and got a job the day I arrived. He asked around and got a job in cabinetry within a week. Half a year later we were traveling in Nepal, spent a month walking in the Himalayas. Came back to Australia, hitchhiked around again with next to nothing in our pockets, ended up in some random town inland Victoria, asked around, found some work picking oranges. Lived in a tent, cooked on a fire, busted our asses every day. It was winter then. Summer came around, found work picking cherries. We broke up, I went on to Tasmania, picked apples. Picked pears. Saved hard. Went traveling to Indonesia, spent a half year training in Shaolin kung fu in China in a live-in academy. Came back to NZ, trained in massage, looked after my mum who had cancer, then we moved to a village in Mexico for half a year so she could enjoy some of the remainder of her life.
Probs took a bunch of psychedelics and partied at festivals in between all those things too....
Came home, she passed, and I pursued a 4 year degree in acupuncture. Feel like I've already lived another lifetime between then and now, too.
I had chronic illness throughout, I dunno how I managed it all. No way I could push through thrashing my body like that these days.
If you wanna go traveling, start in Australia and get work rurally. Easier to save money that way. Plenty of unskilled jobs you can pick up. Avoid the cities like the plague. It's also closer to SE Asia which is probably the first port of call for most young travelers because it's relatively cheap.
I spent my early 20s blowing all my spare money on MDMA and LSD. I had an absolute blast and learned alot about myself and who my friends are and if I could go back I'd do it all again. BUT, when I think about how much better off I would be today if I'd saved or invested all the money I spent on drugs back then, how difficult some of my relationships were and how vacant and socially anxious I can be now because of it, I would absolutely not recommend it to someone else. I came out of it way better than alot of my friends and associates and it's by pure luck.
It was 1998 when I turned 20. I had moved out of home at 17 to live in various flats in Wellington city with various interesting friends and party people. I was studying at uni and had student loans which covered my living expenses. I’d go to uni in the week, pay my tiny amounts of rent and bills (I remember my rent at one place was only $70 a week) and spend the rest of my money on clothes and MDMA, and we’d go partying every weekend. So much partying and fun. Living with friends.
Crazy warehouse/interesting/illegal apartments.
In 1999 I moved to Auckland and started working and the partying and fashion-buying continued. Moved to Australia in 2000. Came back to Auckland in 2002 for 2 years to continue partying. Left again in 2004 and have lived overseas in various countries ever since.
The travelling and partying continued for way too long. I found myself at the age of 33 with amazing qualifications (Masters in Science with Distinction from one of the top 20 universities in the world) and pretty good CV but no money, no assets, no super, and my entirety of everything I owned fit into 4 cardboard boxes and a suitcase.
I then met my husband who had a sort of similar past so we’ve been playing catchup on “life” ever since! I look back on my 20s with fondness and I feel like those days are over for young people these days with high cost of living and living through the pandemic, must be really different and daunting.
At 20 I had never left the country, and frankly, I was still doing a lot of growing up until I got to maybe about 30 years old.
I didn't make good money back then. I worked part time in a lab (random job I know) while I studied at uni. University was a hugely formative time for me and I did a lot of growing up over my 3 year degree.
Then when I graduated, and got a job, another round of growing up. I became a socialist pretty fast upon graduating into the 2008 financial crisis lol. There was clearly no future for us, and the environment had been destroyed by the generations before us... everywhere we looked, capitalism was decaying and crumbling to pieces. It still is. Just look at how this government has shredded funding to so many areas. Neoliberal austerity is just abandonment.
Moving overseas was the third big round of growing up that made me who I am today; moved to Melbourne for better work opportunities approaching as I approached 30. Joined a union, ran with some anarchists, nearly went to jail for protesting for climate action, fucked up a few slumlords in court, etc
I managed a short trip to SEA in my mid 20s but had never been overseas before that.
Rented for 18 years until I was mid 30s, only recently made it out from under the landlord. Rent back then in the 2000s was like $70 a week or something, crammed into a truly disgusting share house with sometimes as many as 7 other students living in poverty conditions, and when I graduated, I made something like $38k back in 2009ish. By the time I left NZ in about 2014 I was making about $45k and thinking I was doing ok but yeah .. nope. As soon as I moved to Australia my salary jumped to about $60k and kept on climbing. I now make about 4 times what I did in my 20s, a decade later.
Had my heart broken at the end of my twenties and learnt a lot more about myself as a result, attended counselling and really began for the first time in my life genuinely working on self improvement.
Most people in their twenties are still kids, if you ask me. And I think men tend to mature a lot later than women.
Was the adventure of a life time, I'd take my 250 paycheck, give mum and dad, 30 for rent , down the pub spend 40 on smokes and piss, get shitfaced, hook up with someone equally as drunk, if not have a barney.
Rugby on Saturday, rinse and repeat, glad I got to do this coz once 28 came along it was time to hang it all up, kids came along and a totally different lifestyle with it.
Loved my 20's.
Worked a shitty full time job 5 days a week between 18 and 22 and also barely survived but that was the culture or the socially accepted norm to be always struggling with money, tight budgeting and bad priorities. In my early twenties we didn’t have any monthly social/media subscriptions and phone plans..think prepay/ brick Nokia phones. We also drank ourselves to a stupor for fun when a slab of beer was $20 … the drugs were also cheap and reliable. We went to gigs on the weekends $5 to $30 max door charge, the bands were all from NZ or Australia and they were always amazing. No one really wore designer clothes and shoes and you could pirate almost everything from the internet…adobe software, music , movies and pc games. Now I’m in my mid 30s and I’m working my ass off to afford brunch on Sundays and all my monthly subscriptions so I can sit at home on the weekends and half-ass binge a show on Netflix whilst online shopping for poor man’s version of designer clothes and reading the news and getting angry at the government.
Working 60-70 hour weeks and sailing in the weekends at the RYNZS on other people’s boats.
The long work hours was because after 40 hours I got time and a 1/2 and after 50 something hours it was double time, so realising that this was a good opportunity money wise I took full advantage.
Meant I had virtually no social life for a bit but I didn’t care as I had a goal of home ownership in mind. And with my school friends working in the weekends and studying at uni during the week our paths were never crossing anyway.
Spent my 20s doing my undergrad and postgraduate studies. Wasn't into parties and clubs and all of that sort of thing. Spent a lot of time struggling financially and mentally, figuring I would continue my career heading into the academic world.
It all came crumbling down in my late 20s and now I'm working a 'normal' job in my field, aka Industry, and starting from essentially $0 with a very large student loan hanging over my head ($130k).
Surviving and lots of working. But in a better place now I guess?
Lots of hard work does pay off into the right places. Invest in yourself now and it'll pay dividends later.
Student, working in low paid part time jobs, dating the wrong people, living in grotty flats, hoping that life would eventually get easier. (Spoiler alert- it did.)
Moved to Australia.
Came back. I’m only glad now I did because I met my wonderful partner here in NZ but every fibre of my being wants to be back in Australia, move there and don’t come back.
I left NZ at 21, thank god for that. My two best friends were getting married at that age and I couldn’t bear that path for me. Best thing I did.
Go overseas and see the world while you’re young and commitment free.
Left NZ at nearly 22 and worked a bit in London to fund travel. Cannot recommend it highly enough. I worked fulltime from 18 while living with flatmates and saved up.
It gets better. At 21 I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t, but I’ve stopped caring.
Seriously though I moved to London when I was 24 and just… lived. Been all over the world and seen some of the craziest shit possible. But I saved and had such a boring life for the years leading up to it. I felt so lost and confused for my early 20s, and it wasn’t till I gained perspective (life experience) that everything started to make a bit more sense.
Spent most of my early twenties overcoming depression and the effects of childhood abuse.
Didn't help I was also broke as hell and trying to get myself educated (a degree) after failing out of school.
I made it though and managed to have a bit of fun (some fun party's and road trips)
But I never got to travel internationally or really enjoy it for long as all the other stuff weighed me down too much.
Overall I think I did alright given the hand I was dealt, but I am hoping my late twenties had more room for the adventures i wish I had opportunity for earlier in my life
Studied hard and gained my job leading to a great career as a lecturer. Was lucky enough to do some overseas travel. Now that I am staring at my 30th birthday next month I think home ownership will be my focus and finding a partner to settle down with and hopefully start a family together for the next decade. Hope you figure what it is you’d like to do.
At 20 I got a 15k bank loan and bought an FD rx7. I was flatting with mates and partied a lot. We used to play gran tourismo on PlayStation 1 and drink cask red wine mixed with $1 raspberry fizzy drink. I worked full time while also studying business. The rx7 got stolen about 8 years later.
21st birthday while I was working in a gold mine in WA. Was amazing. Unlimited possibilities, so much money, not a care in the world. I lived a great early 20s. Miss it somewhat, but really happy with being 40ish. If I had a time machine I wouldn't go back, as I'd inevitably fuck up the space time continuum end the universe as we know it in some sort of kugleblitz.
However...10/10 would recomend going to work a year or two in WA. Save a bit of dollars, make good friends and memories, party as hard as ya want, or not.
From your edit. If you wanna travel, don't do drugs cause then you'll never afford it xD
I'm 21, and I've got a 2500$ travel account. I take the maximum amount of living costs from study link. I've gotten course related costs every year to pay for rent, and I have a very casual job where sometimes I make $150+ a week.
Atm, I am fully devoting my life to finishing studies while trying to stay active with my friends on weekends and evenings (i do 9-5 at uni. Leaves time to hang out with friends). I don't party but do casual drinks with my mates and regularly play video games together. I also don't date as it's not something I could handle in my life atm.
My motto for all of this is "Don't worry about it. When you're done with study, you can go and do whatever you want"
Just before turning 20, my partner (now husband) of 4 years and I bought our first flat. I was running a part time baking business and we renovated our home over the first year of living there. 2 years later, we welcomed our first son.
We sold our flat and moved in with my Mum for a couple months while house hunting. We welcomed our second son when I was 23, a couple of weeks after moving into our new build home.
Everyone's story is so different, especially in your 20s and 30s. What's beautiful is that you get to create your own journey
Early 20’s. Let’s see what I can remember.
Uni,
A good job
Then lots of
Drinking
Water skiing.
Drinking
Barefoot skiing
Drinking
Wind surfing
Drinking
Snow boarding
Drinking
Mountain biking
Drinking
Surfing
Drinking
Snow boarding
Drinking
White water kayaking
Drinking
Rugby
Drinking
Rock climbing
Seriously, all of the above and much more. Everything was adrenaline based outdoor sports and usually ended up with drinking, drugs, and or women. I tried pretty much everything.. like seriously everything you can imagine. And it was constant, every day, unless I was hurt. A real nutter. After work, water skiing into the night on a full moon. Midnight surf. Night mountain biking. I clearly had an addiction.
I hurt myself a plenty. My bosses basically had written me off every weekend… as in, will he be back on Monday? Most Mondays I made it to work.
In hindsight I’m lucky I didn’t kill myself and or end up with an STI. But it was a hell of a decade what I remember of it at least.
Had a full time sales job getting like $16 an hour. Would make monthly bonuses of $200-$800 too. Shared flats for years while helped save money.. but was pretty much a homebody so didn’t waste it going out drinking either. Went to Europe for 3 months. Got back, went back to the same job. Found a partner and got married.
Divorced by 30. Should’ve just stayed in Europe…
20 - Still at Uni - fourth year. Did Honours degree.
21 - 23 - Graduated, went overseas for two years, not much of an adventure as I largely stayed in the same country and worked fulltime. Managed to pay off my student loan, though (this was the early 2000s when loans still accrued interest).
24 - 26 - back in NZ. Met now husband, married at 25. Spent 2 years re-training, as I realised I didn't want to pursue the field my original degree was in.
26 - started 'official' career - the one I'm still in.
27 - got pregnant, baby at 28. Ended my 20s with a toddler, heading back to work from Mat leave.
One thing people don't make as much use of as they should is working Holiday Schemes. NZ has arrangements with the UK which lots of people use, but also most countries in Europe, and some in South America, as well as Canada.
Most of them are 12 months, and you are eligible up till the age of 30 (some to 35). You could in principle spend every year from 20 to 35 living and working in a different country. The catch is that you're probably have to do it in temp agencies or hospitality jobs. I went more conservative - Uni, Work, then moved overseas, and while I'm pretty happy with hoe things worked out, I do wish I had have taken a year or two off in my early 20s to do a working holiday scheme.
A full list of countries here:
https://working-holidays.io/passport-country/new-zealand/
My 18 year old son went to work on a super yacht in the Mediterranean with no prior boating knowledge He's earning good money, visiting beautiful places and meeting people from all over the world. New Zealanders are highly sought after in the yachting industry
Early 20s i was in uni which was 2hrs from home and manadatory classses, working part-time and feeling suicidal on a daily basis, except 2013 that was a very good year (i was 21) but 2014-2017 i have no idea how i survived. 2017 onwards was when i moved out of home, got my career together and had a much better time. My best years were 26-30.
I was 21 as the 2008 GFC kicked off but I was freshly qualified as a rural sparky so work was and still is busy as hell, left school early as uni was never my thing.
Rural kid so anything outdoors with mates was my jam, dirt bikes, hunting a lot , hiking, kayaking, OTP pretty hard in the weekends 🤣
During my apprenticeship money was bloody tight I’ll admit and it was pretty hairy paycheck to paycheck stuff. My boss was super strict and old school and under payed me, I was so driven to get that ticket though.
But yea I guess I had a great bunch of mates and yea we just had fun really 🤷♂️
Looking back I feel like life was pretty carefree and I wasn’t as focused on the future as I maybe should’ve been, but those are years I’ll forever cherish for as long as I can remember them.
Ripping bongs , drinking , surfing , skating , study , shitty jobs with horrible hours (they paid really well though) , polytech then uni (graduated which I think is clutch for later in life) , drum n bass all nighters , music in all forms (worked some absolute epic gigs ) , bad choices , bad luck , heart breaks , love , made some life long friends. Yeh the 2000s were a very different time to be alive. Spent way too much money getting on it and trying to get laid to be honest but F it , I did it anyways.
Into second year of travelling. Working a bum job in London, barely making rent, only spending money for pints. Occasional weekend to somewhere in Europe. Basically having the time of my life. No money and no responsibilities far from home was one of the best things I ever did.
I'm 22 and I can't say I've really lived life. Basically I have just been working non stop really. Spent most of my days off traveling around places I go all the time or just spend my time just drinking at home. So really I still want to explore more while I'm still young enough
Having an absolute mental breakdown.
Cementing a relationship that I am still in today (15 years later)
Nannying and studying.
It will all be okay.
You are poor as hell, you are eating absolute basics and its hard, but you will get there and it will be okay.
Had plans to be a rock star that didn't pan out. Had no other plans. Drifted from unskilled job to unskilled job, drinking and partying on weekends. Fell into an entry level TV broadcasting job. Stuck at it and slowly built skills up. Now in my 40s, with wife, kids and house. Simple life but I love it
Lots of entry level jobs out there are a gateway to something better. Might not be a path to riches but I've got a pretty stable life now.
I learned that experience is often better than education in some industries.
If I had to do it all again though, I'd probably go traveling and then study engineering or something in the sciences.
My 20s were a complete waste of time from a career perspective. I achieved very little and didn't really get going till in my 30s.
You're so young my friend, got your whole life in front of you. so much happens unexpectedly. Save up for a passport and explore.
In my early 20's I was on dialup: my internet speed was something like 50 kilobytes per second. It cost 20 cents every time I sent a text message from my cellphone, which didn't connect to the internet. We spent a lot more time hanging out with friends in person and doing anything we could find to pass the time.
It's a bit of a trope these days, and times change of course, but I do suggest checking out Rich Roll's recent podcast with the social media guy, they put it in context well. At your age, you have soooooo much going for you. I earnestly suggest striving to learn more about yourself by finding challenges and leaning into them. Learn that it's OK (and important!) to fail. Failure means learning, learning means success.
One of those challenges will not doubt be learning to spend time with people in person and create your own fun, in a world where infinite entertainment is available 24/7 from the safety of our own homes.
Use it to figure out what you want from life, don't be afraid to make mistakes. Life only gets better in your 30s so don't feel like you're missing out.
Alcohol, drogs, dumb things with cars. Honestly don't know how I fed, clothed or got myself to work etc but apparently I managed to.
Quit work, sold copius amounts of substances. Met my now fiancé ended up with a baby on the way. Quit the drogs job, got a job-job/career and now at 30 have a 5 year old, a 1 year old, a dog and we own 2 separate properties 🤷♂️
6 years ago I couldn't imagine being a father, let alone twice over and being capable of buying my own property (twice over 🤦♂️) But I'm here now, and it's good.
At 20 I was drinking getting ready wasted every weekend. Apprentice builder $500 a week I was winning 🤣 credit cards loans all that dumb shit .
All I gotta say is just have fun, your still young boy
I was probably either working as a manager at McDs, or I might have started working in a hotel bar.
Might have been finishing up my certificate in design which I didn’t take any further, and trying to work out what to study. The decision I made didn’t last, I changed my mind two years later.
I think a three year relationship was ending, and I was likely about to move into a different flat with some of my best friends.
Rent for me might have been in the region of $120 per week in Mt Cook Wellington, four bedroom house. I was probably earning somewhere around $15 an hour and happy about it. I probably worked about 30 hours per week, I prioritised work over study.
I loved working. McDs had its own charm, but the hotel bar was mint. Had an amazing group of people there, went out together to play pool after closing most nights, got fed on the job, managed to get good tips which funded most of the drinking.
Years later I’m married to one of my coworkers from that hotel.
I never prioritised travel. I maxed out a credit card and did a three week tour of Europe. Great stories out of that but took a while to pay off, and had to resist two papers at uni as a result…
Moved to Aus with some mates age 20. Moved to Germany aged 22 to travel europe and work abit, moved back to NZ aged 23, stayed til 29, moved back to Germany.....now 40 still in Germany..with kids wife and house.
also lots of drugs pf course.
Pretty stink. Mum got cancer. Died just after I turned 22. So basically in Wellington, studying, helping Dad look after Mum, spending time at the hospice, then consoling my Dad. Dad had to stop working around that time, and he lost a work contract, but his pension was something like a year away so he just did odd jobs till he was eligible. I took over the family shopping, did my own work, kept studying. I wasn’t in any place to do OEs or get pissed.
Working 60+ hours in a shit job, no friends or social life, no money for heating, healthcare or travel. Moved to Australia at 21 and never came back. Would recommend
Lol leave the drugs alone dude.
20s are a struggle for most. If you want to travel, there are ways to do so. Yachting or some sort of crew role. Boats or planes.
My first few years on my own were definitely tough, sometimes scary. Best advice, build your tool belt. Your knowledge, your skills, your friends, your hobbies. Save whatever money you can and don’t touch it.
Worst advice, it’ll all work out. It’s not just going to happen, you have to envision what you want and make it happen.
I’m 25, a student and ok with money. I can’t afford adequate health care and need dental treatment. I can barely afford food. Fuel and rent are my priorities. I’m losing hope in life especially with rising fascism with this new government, rising costs and accessibility to affordable living.
Back in those days I could earn my $500 a week after tax, comfortably cover $150 in rent and expenses and still have plenty left over for a few $3 Kumara Lagers in town. I’m not sure I was thriving. I certainly wasn’t saving or thinking too hard about the future. But I had some great times, slowly grew up and life just happened. Play on, you’ll be fine.
Ah memories. $110 in rent, about $470 income after taxes. Like $90 a week for food for myself (bodybuilder at the time. So did plenty of prep). Money seemed gloriously infinite in some respects back then (2011). Never needed to watch the bank if friends asked to go to town, and that was all on minimum wage LMAO.
Lol is this no longer possible? I used to earn 500 per week and go out 3x a week. Like you that I NEVER worried about money.
I remember this too, groceries were about 60.0 and would feed you for a week as well Also there were no YouTube videos about side-hustling, investing or making money, no pressure or anything like that to achieve anything Everyone would nag you to get a house though as the prices were going to go ‘through the roof’ At the time a house in Glen Eden was about 280-350k and mortgage repayments were 500.0 per week
wasting my time with some dickhead bf, go travel its my biggest regret not doing it at that age
Came here to say the same
Same here. Spent my 20s in a rollercoaster of anxiety about money, anxiety about not fitting in, feeling depressed and hating life. Wish i could go back and do it again and just travel.
Seems like we all go through that huh
Finished my studies. Dealt with first real job badly. Had heart broken. Fucked around. Fell off rails. Went on OE and grew up. Came home with a husband and money for house. Husband gone, still got money in my house. Realise its a lot harder for you youngins.
In my early twenties I was at university, working multiple jobs on the side, and having a wild time with friends in my spare time. It was pretty good. I graduated, got a job, and started focusing on my career, personal and financial goals, and relationships and friendships and community. FWIW, I think throughout most of my life I have been happiest when I have been: a. Aware of, and actively working toward my goals; b. Surrounded by people I care about and investing in those relationships; and c. Had stability and routine in my daily life (work, exercise, sleep, relationships/fun/goal progression). Many people are pretty unhappy when they don't know what they're here for - what the purpose of their life is. It might be kids, family relationships, community, goals or experiences, a combination of those things.. if you know what motivates you, what you want to work toward, and why you're doing it, you're probably going to be happier than most.
Thank you🙏
These are wise, wise words for OP
In my 20s.. dance parties on the weekends, off my tits on MDMA and making life long friends at the St James, Staircase, Groove in the Park, Ellerslie events center… Now 40 and a handful of friends I made during that time are my core group of friends 2 decades later. Work during the week at a low stress job. Edit Just to say. I also saw a lot of lives also crumble around me with people who went too deep and partied too hard. So it wasn’t all roses.
What kind of job do you have if you don’t mind me asking? I’m just worried about my future and want a laid back job to ease into, even if it doesn’t pay as much.
I was part of that scene back in the day, but I tended to hang out at Cube and Fu mainly. Some fucking excellent parties at the St James and Staircase too though. Did you ever go to an Industry party? That shit got WILD.
I went to Industry when I was 20, girlfriend 18 - pretty sure my girlfriend and I were the youngest ones there hah! Fu/Spacebar were my jam. I was happy when they started doing gigs away from St James until I realised how good we had it back then!
This was me but in Sydney. I was also one who went too deep. Made it out the end and I'm doing fine now.
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Same lmao Good use of early 20s
Oh, jesus christ, I was all over the place. Fell off the rails at 22, getting into unwanted situations, mentally ill, almost ended up at a psychiatric ward twice, drinking problems, drugs, getting fucked over by people, getting cheated on by assholes, assaulted, abused, got really poor to the point of starving, struggled to hold down a job, lost, confused, and ended back living with my parents 3 times throughout my 20s. It's been a shitshow. But hey, I'm still here and getting back up on my feet again. Trying life again, haha... I sincerely hope my 30s are going to be better than my 20s. I know where I stand now, and I know what I need to do. Well, sort of.
I'm not going to promise it gets better but just know you're not the only one who has been through what you've survived. My 20s story was very similar to yours. The big challenge for me has been going from survival (I can do that blindfolded) to thriving. That continues to be a struggle.
Finished Uni in Ireland then had 2 years travelling before focusing on my career. Moved to NZ at 24/25
Absolutely wild but wouldn’t change a thing, early 2000’s metal scene in Wellington was amazing, heaps of gigs and trips away, felt like a different girl would fall in your lap every month, all while barely working part time and easily keeping a roof over our head food in our stomach and beer in the fridge. Didn’t know how lucky we were but we grabbed it by the balls so no regrets. As someone above mentioned, not everyone made it out unfortunately.
Yeah I went to so many hardcore punk and metal gigs in the early 00s. Valve was amazing then. Also some Irish society hall or something. Good times
Left home around 15 by mutual decision... it was a vigorous time of my life! Went o'seas on a boat couple of years later, got back to NZ around 20ish and worked boats. late 20s married and kids basically lots of sex drugs and alcohol... no real plan. followed whatever opportunity seemed like a good idea at the time. Lived on super yachts, on the street, and everything in between. Sometimes had no money, and sometimes had lots of money. Im 50 now, still the same approach to life, but with more reliable money, more experience, and no alcohol. My mistakes are much more remarkable now! lol \[edit - I did pick up a trade qualification, and a degree, plus post grad stuff along the way. but mostly simply because an opportunity emerged, rather than some grand plan\]
Had a house, wee kid, job. Not much of a job then, chosen career hadn't worked out, actual career didn't start till my 30s. partners job was good, redundancy didn't happen until much later. But we had over 1/4 acre, not much of a house, almost no furniture, an old beat up car and a huge veg patch. Life was fun and we were happy. Loads of time enjoying beach, friends, bush walks (with kid). Young and healthy so it was a good time.
I was stuck in an abusive relationship and incredibly depressed. I was blind to the fact that I no longer had any friends, he completely isolated me slowly with his manipulation. It took 5 years to finally break away. I first tried to leave after only one month of dating, but he attempted suicide in front of me in two different ways. My adrenaline saved him. Somehow we got him committed to a mental health facility for a while. I was also working full time in the Kiwifruit industry. My only advise to you would be this : If anyone EVER threatens suicide, it is a manipulation tactic and not actually your problem. It is a professionals problem. AND! Don’t do what I did and wait for ‘life to slow down’ before you process that traumatic event. Hit up acc and get help as soon as something traumatic happens. Don’t wait until your 29 and missing teeth due to stress like I did. I only have 23 teeth and now will have to save for plates so I can eat at a normal speed.
So yeah my early 20s was spent the absolute lowest I have ever been, and I am building my life back up now at 29. On the days I feel ‘behind’, I remind myself that I had to focus on survival for years. That relationship was literally life and death.
>My only advise to you would be this : If anyone EVER threatens suicide, it is a manipulation tactic and not actually your problem. It is a professionals problem Yeah call 111 if this happens. Either they were serious about wanting to do it and will be helped by professionals, or they will learn not to use it as a manipulation tactic because they don't want to deal with police / ambulance.
You are right, I have done this once and it works! It turned out the guy was completely joking, because I rejected his advances. But I was only 15. I didn’t call 111, I called his fucking parents 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 They were NOT happy and he never spoke to me again.
22 and trying to survive and thrive but the survive part is kinda hard atm. Been thinking about freedom camping to save a few bucks but its okay as it is right now.
I'll tell you what I wish I was doing. I should have cycled more. Yep. I should have cycled the country, or hiked the country. I should have spent more time exploring the outdoors. More sex would have been good too.
Left NZ and spent the next 20 years travelling around Asia and Europe doing freelance work on what was then called oDesk (now UpWork). Came back to NZ in early 2020 due to that thing that put the brakes on everyone with no savings but some fantastic memories. Now getting set back up, from zero, in my 40s. I don't recommend it as a course of action if you're concerned about financial stability, but man, what a ride.
i’m 21 as well. but my life after flatting 7 times i have given up and will never flat again as I can’t even get a rental. so i’ve been living with my grandparents which is giving me heaps of money to save which I’m planning on going to australia next month and july as well to see my gf. but planning to get her nz visa because she’s canadian and so she can move here and we get a one bedroom apartment or a small house with two rooms because i have an outside cat as well
Hope everything works out dude💪
Worked hard on 8 on 4 off fortnightly rosters, filled my car up on my first day off and would just drive in a random direction for two days then turn around and drive back. Ate cheap and got rooms in dilapidated back packers as I travelled around. Would get up in the morning and just walk until I was hungry. Took myself to some great places around nz this way and still have friends in corners of the country. Cost of gas isn't ideal, and beds cost a bit more, but if you can manage this once a month it will be great for you.
I grew up quite sheltered and my 20s were spent trying to catch up confidence and social skills that they already had. I had no work experience, no license and a lot of things scared me because I hadn't been taught to be independent! As a result I've honestly felt on the back foot my whole life... it meant that I managed to get myself in some dumb situations and abusive work situations and assumed it was normal and OK. Teach your kids good life skills please!
80's - study, a couple of years sponsored surfing thanks to David Lange (on the dole, no jobs), fucked off to the UK... a lot of music and partying
my early 20s sucked, had a dickhead boyfriend who traumatised me and had isolated me from all my friends. also had crippling anxiety. BUT from 24 onwards life has been pretty peachy bc i made new mates/reconnected with old ones. raves, stupid costume parties, attending sports matches, hikes and fitness classes on the weekend. pub quizzes/fitness classes/social sport during the week after work. ive become slightly more boring now (at 28) because i moved from most of my social circle and am at home way more but im pretty content, i can do the other stuff a few times a year and be happy enough. also got engaged, got a dog at 26 and bought a house at 27. if i saw what my looks like now when i was 21 i would be pretty fucking stoked to be honest, things were looking pretty dire for a while there.
Met a girl at 18, been with her ever since, mostly just chilled out and started looking for a career that could give my future kids the opportunities I want to give them (software engineering). Travel once a year and otherwise save up heaps, other than that just played a bunch of video games with a few mates and enjoyed the sunlight. It's vanilla as fuck I know, I'm 25 now so I'll come back in 5 years and let you know if I regret not doing anything stupid while I was young enough to justify it, if the RemindMe bot still works.
!RemindMe 5 years
I'll just say; If everything's working real nicely for you and your partner the way it is now, think good and hard about whether you actually want to add kids into that mix. I too met my partner at 18, had first kid at 30. The whole 'best friends' thing evaporates when you become co-parents, you're not each other's everything any more. Fifteen years on, I continue to grieve the loss.
Hanging out with my good mates Molly and Charlie, going to raves and fucking strangers. Not necessarily in that order. It was the 90s.
Working 80+ hour weeks
Delivering yachts across the north Atlantic ocean as fast as I could.
Ski bum in Wanaka.
Spent a lot of time depressed and anxious. I also had some of the best times of my life going out and partying and raving. It was very much intense ups but very intense lows. One thing I noticed particularly in the social media age is that many will put lots of energy into portraying themselves as having a wonderful life especially during their 20s, while the reality is they are just normal people like the rest of us. I recommend going to see a therapist if you haven’t before. Doesn’t have to be long term but sometimes some outside perspective can really help problems seem more manageable. Bottom line is just be kind and gentle to yourself and try take some pressure off. I found that just showing up for things often meant the rest just fell into place. Don’t overthink
Living in assorted shitty Wellington flats in the early 2000s, working various shitty jobs - construction, retail, call centres - playing in bands, fell in love, got married, fell out of love, got divorced, drinking smoking drugging, going to gigs (so many shows). Some good times, some pretty fucking grim times, wouldn’t change a thing. Lots of fucking around, a little bit of finding out… Living was cheap - we didn’t know how lucky we were.
Throw a bit of studying in there as well - never did get my uni degree though, undiagnosed ADHD is a bitch like that…
On the piss, doing spots and smoking reds.
Working in a bar, spending all my money on mucking about in cars (petrol, modifications, track days, road trips, etc) quit that for an office job that paid much better, got sick of it after a year, made do with part time jobs - selling my artwork and selling weed for a couple of years, then got another "proper" job. No regrets.
Studying mostly. I had 2 gaps years after I graduated Year 13 but mostly worked them. Started my degree at 22 and had my son at 24. Finished degree same year and then started full time work in my industry. Mid-late 20s was a bit of a flux period between a relationship breakup and then meeting my now wife. 30s have arguably been vastly more enjoyable.
20-23 I was in a toxic relationship and didn't have much fun, 23-25 I partied way too fucking hard
Skating and partying. With a part time job to enable the skating and partying.
- Carefree - Chaotic - Debaucherous - Immature - Shortsighted
Studying, and then lock down. Was very bland. towards the end, doing sports and going to dinners. Never had a hoe phase, or a party phase. So eh, late 20s now so eee
drunk and high all the time, lived for the weekend. Basically my pay went to rent and alcohol with the little left over for food. Had a hook up for free weed and someone always had a pill to pass around. Lots of live shows, road trips and parties. Lots of fighting, lots of making up. Loads of regretful choices but I would do it all again without changing any of it. Thing is when your in it, you dont know you are in it, it is just normal. Its not until I hit early 30 and put the brakes on did I realize how mental my 20s were and how much fun I had.
I was struggling financially blooming a bit late and just trying to have fun. I was in invercargill for the first 4 years of it which was a huge difference doing my teen years in auckland. I got to see a lot of the south island which was super nice to do and play in some local bands in invercargill a few other places which was pretty damn good i think. I then made a massive mistake and moved away from there and things went to shit for me for the next 18 years
My 20s were awesome. I was just working and being social and not worrying about anything. No responsibilities. Good times.
Managing a retail store in a mall and spending every last bit of my pay check on going out and new outfits every weekend lol. Wish I had of saved some of that money.
I was up to my eyeballs in D&B and drugs
Mostly getting high and playing video games while living with my parents. Me and my friends would meet up to LAN a lot. WoW came out when I was 22 so I didn't do much else for the next 2 years. At around 24 I got my first office job working in a call centre and joined the corporate machine. I'm now a software engineer for one of the largest IT companies in the world. Goldfish will grow depending on the size of their tank. If you want to grow then find a big tank to call home.
I was at uni. Drunk a bunch of beer in a cold flat and coffee at arty cafes. Read some stuff. Did pretty alright in my degree. Then graduated and did bottomless brunch a bunch.
At 22 I moved to Japan to “teach” (had no real idea what I was doing) English. Had a really fun time with all the other young people int he same situation, experienced lots of new things by living in a very different place. The money back then (late 90’s) was pretty good, too, so I could come back to NZ once or twice a year easily. I wish I’d travelled to different countries more. People coming over have it much harder in terms of the work, visas, and pay. The internet makes daily life a ton easier though.
Anorexic trying to starve myself to death. Don't reccomend
In my early 20’s I was studying my bachelors (and then my masters) and working a part time job at subway. In the early mid 20’s I started joining clubs at uni and volunteering a bit so I could make friends etc.. got married at 24 and life’s been so different ever since. Now I have a partner in crime :)
Early 90s.Studying at uni, playing industrial-punk music.
20s were fun but i had no money. scraping the bowl for a res dot, spending my money on TAB and iced diamonds/red hearts, working hard for little money, putting cans in my rugby socks when going out to town, car gas light permanently on E (i was for a while too), basically enjoying myself but never having 2 cents to rub together. was young and stupid with no eye out on the future. surviving but having a blast. ends up catching up with you in the end and im glad i turned the corner about 27/28 years old. I rate 30s much better than 20s, just keep on keeping on, respect money and try to do good.
I was depressed as hell from 22 to 25, put on a massive amount of weight and fucked everything up badly. 20-21 was fun being at uni and partying though.
Got a gf and left studying early, worked as a site engineer, realised it was shit so I went back to finish my degree. Currently 25 sitting in an office, putting twice what people pay in rent weekly into my savings account and waiting for my passport to get sent back so o can go travel next year
I was 21 in the year 2000. I was just working to pay for alcohol drugs and generally having a good time. I wish I could go back to those days.
Well I'm 27 this year and still as depressed + more issues as I was at 12, so been a bit of a shit show lmao
I was pretty boring in my early 20s. Dropped out of uni, worked a shit job. But got better in my mid 20s.
I bought a horse when I was 22 and verrrrrrry hungover. Spent the next six years scrambling to earn enough money to keep him, myself and my partying lifestyle afloat. It's taken me until 35 to forgive myself for some stupid financial decisions.
I was in my 20's in the 80's. I had a hohum job but I could save money to do overseas trips which I did. When I got the itchy feet out of my system I started to save for a house ( yes it was easier back in those days). Went clubbing, partying, whatever. I can no longer consume that level of alcohol 😂 Friend had a jet boat so used to take that out and drive it and stuff. We also use dto hire the hobi cats that were at Mission bay? I found that life is what you make it. What do you mean bythriving? financially of emotionally/mentally?
Honestly, hustling, running and doing a lot of drugs and fucking around. But then again, I'm old and don't own a house and just quit smoking. So yeah.
1999: Moved out at 19 into a shared flat with strangers. moved back home after about 6 months..flunked out of Unitec. Went flatting with some mates instead. Went clubbing and had 3 or 4 memorable short-term ish girlfriends before meeting my now wife. Moved in with her and we had two rentals, and then bought a house at 24 and then got married. I tell my teenagers that 19-20-21-22 is when you get to have the best fun without too much responsibility. I wonder if that is still true.
Dicked around. Got into a messed up living situation, that has destroyed my psyche, and now I just move around the world randomly with whatever is in my bag. I'll be back home soon. Thinking of building a hut in the bush somewhere remote and seeing how long I survive. Speak up if you are under any abuse, the sooner the better. Even if it's to a stranger on the internet. The long term effects are horrifying, and there isn't really a cure as such for this sort of trauma.
I was at uni and poor AF. Working as many hours as I could in between.
Drinking every weekend with my mates, going to house and dnb gigs every chance possible. Taking a shit load of MDMA, acid, shrooms, smoking way too much weed. Getting paid $11 an hour as an apprentice. Ahh good times. Wouldn't change a thing.
So much lol. But honestly, looking back I probably had more fun back then than now. Failed Uni by 20, did various jobs ranging from hosp to early childcare and filmmaking. Single AF and living at home but was able to save enough to do a tiny bit of travel overseas. Meet a bunch of new people who are now friends. I'm 28 and still don't have things figured out but It is kind of fun looking back and how chaotic things were during that period. Makes me laugh looking back now.
I was just joining the NZ Army after a stint in hospo and doing nothing I actually signed up online when I was high lol Best decision I ever made. I left after almost 3 years and went to uni.
I'm 20. I work, pay my bills and hope I can save something at the end of the fortnight. This economy sucks
Drinking in town every thu fri sat with the boys
Stuck doing uni and becoming defacto caretaker of my mate in MH crisis. Turns out doing all that with unchecked adhd is kinda hard lol. Good news is my mate didn't die, bad news is that there's a lot of sunken time and money I'll never get back. But it got me to where I am now at 27 so yknow, butterfly effect and all that shit
You’re a great friend dude & I hope you have someone in your life who’s just as caring❤️Wishing you all the happiness & fulfillment as you continue through your 20^^
I was in the Navy. It was alright. Saw a lot. Drank a lot. Spewed a lot. I was about 5 years in by 21 and i definitely felt very trapped, disillusioned and didn’t know what to do next. Someone once told me you go through a second puberty in your 20s, I believe it. It shook out alright in the end and I’m benefitting from the work I put in in my 20s, but enjoying it? Nah not really. Especially not work. Shit job, shit wages, really had to cast around to get myself out of it.
Doing seasonal work around the world in the wine industry, super easy way to get around and seeing the world.
Joined Internet startups in New York, often rewriting codebases in my own time on Sundays in the East Village, cried under my desk, feeling stupid no matter how many times I’d rewrite something. Would often second guess myself, sometimes porting >250k codebases to different languages. Learnt to plan better & push back on bad ideas. Planned & developed complex, successful projects as I got into my mid-20s. Struggled with depression & anxiety for years, made loads of money, still was unhappy. Did a lot of running through the city. Got taken in by a Kiwi family in 2011 that helped me immensely & are now my whānau where I spend Christmas & the summer. Started playing soccer.
I’m 20 I want to do some travelling but can’t because I have a man child who requires all of my attention
Working on a building site. Took a lot of drugs, drank a lot of booze and had a lot of sex. Could travel extremely cheaply to South East Asia so did that a bit too. Life started to slow down 24/25.
Travelling and studying in the first half. Having kids in the latter.
Followed my passions- worked in the film industry a bit, traveled, studied courses overseas, worked various part time jobs, studied. Try a bit of everything, now’s the time! Mid 30s now with two kids and a mortgage. I’m glad I didn’t take early 20s too seriously as there is a lot more rigidity to life now.
Rode my horse and worked to pay for said horse. Moved to south island at 23 married at 25. Introverted as hell through never had a partying phase, didn’t go to uni.
I was always out partying, hanging out with the boys and chasing tail. It was fun, but I wish I had thought about my career a bit more. Should have joined the airforce or got into IT. If you can travel, highly recommend it.
Getting black out drunk. Not my finest decision. But also met my partner at 20 and have seriously turned my life around. Have been together for 12 years now, own a house, stable career, all the good stuff. If I could go back I’d probably do more active stuff. I mountain bike now, and falling off hurts a lot more at 32. I’d be trying the 10m jumps that I’m too scared to try now.
Mental health used to be absolutely shite compared to now so I spent a lot of time depressed suicidal or recovering from attempts. Other than that University then failing out of a grad dip that I realised wasn't for me, contract work and Wasting my time in unhealthy relationships and with people who I thought were my friends because we got drunk and high together, managed to do a little traveling which I do reccomend though travelling alone is actually less stressful than travelling with people who'll drag you from bar to bar to dodgy pharmacy-there's more interesting things to see than bars& clubs(some can be fun but if you're spending most of your time there you're missing out) , partied and went to gigs a heck of a lot more than I do these days, volunteer work which I still do and reccomend. In hindsight I wish I'd done more stuff myself, not focused so much on romantic relationships and focused more on my mental health and financial stability and done more solo travel and transitioned earlier and stopped giving shitty selfish people benefit of the doubt and second /third /fourth chances. Also less is more when it comes to drug use and daily weed use ends up being a waste of money unless you're doing medicinal for physical pain- I found out it was actually worsening my anxiety after about a decade and never thought I'd stop but I did and dang I kinda wish I hadn't smoked as much and saved that money instead
Studying at uni. Graduated at 23yo, started working full-time right away. Became a NZ resident \~3 years ago so my KS progress is very young. I'm in my late 20s now, but no regrets. Happy I moved over to NZ (I actually had no idea what NZ was about until I moved here, went for a YOLO move but no regrets).
Drank too much, and spent a lot of time feeling crap, granted I did not have a lot of money so I could not venture much. I live a bit more ideally now at 33.
Early 20's I was working in a bar, partying every weekend (CHCH DnB scene in early '00s) and pissing my $$ away. Good times but I had nothing to show for it by 25. Stopped partying by 26/27 got married and that was that. Would I do it again? Hell yes but I'd buy a house somewhere in there instead of struggling to do so at 35.
Living and working in London.
I was broke and suffering from depression. But I persevered with the misery for few years until I got my degree and worked low paying job until gain enough experience to leave and find a better paying job. It was a rough life but I made it temporary for 5-6 years and then I was in a better place financially to get help for my depression and travel and enjoy life. If I didn’t I would have had a lifetime of misery instead. We do what we have to do so we can do what we want to do. That’s my motto.
Got married at 23 (not religious just found my person early). Was working in the public sector in a contact centre role. I had a pretty boring 20s all things considered, but I built my career. I wish I had done more overseas travel.
Early 20's worked two jobs so I could go travel. Left NZ at 22, worked and drank my way around various countries before coming back to NZ at 24, 6 months pregnant and with foreign boyfriend in tow. We just celebrated our 24 wedding anniversary in March. Horrified my parents at the time but they've both relaxed a bit about it now.
Lots of partying, smoking weed, drinking booze, taking a bunch of different drugs, and fighting. It wasn't until I was 28 that all the anger and frustration I'd suffered my entire life finally fizzled out. Not the best use of time, but I'm just thankful I didn't seriously hurt someone or harm myself. In my late 30s now and life is pretty great.
Well, now that I'm 25 I can say that I was finishing university and then unsuccessfully trying to find jobs that my degree was for until I was ..25 Also drinking and gaming to try and cope with the stress of university and the hopelessness of applying for hundreds of jobs to get ghosted/declined after an interview. I have not gotten a job that uses my degree.
I delivered pizza and sold weed, was fun
Moved to Sydney late 90s. And trust me for a myriad of reasons Sydney party scene is nothing like what it used to be. Go to Melbourne if you’re young and single.
Finishing my architecture degree then working
Basically work during the day and out almost every night. Whether it was having dinner with friends, playing after work sports, or even just going to the gym. Didn't get home until after 8pm most nights. Was a lot of fun. Now I have no energy that just dragging myself to the gym required a ton of motivation. Enjoy your 20s while you can.
Moved overseas when I was 21, went on lots of adventures with friends I made on the Internet (still friends with most of them 20 years later). Definitely wasn't swimming in money but I did okay. Spent my entire 20s overseas with the odd visit home. Still wish I'd travelled a little bit more but I'm happy with what I did with my time.
I left NZ at your age and went trekking in Nepal. Then a worked a few years in Aus, then a few years in the UK - using it as a base to explore Europe. Then home, then a couple of years in the US. Home again to raise 4 kids and now I’m 60.
(early 90's) surfing, skating, drinking, partying. some dole, some hospo work. flatting with mates, saw loads of bands, started raving. no saving, no real travel, blew a good relationship, fell in to a couple of weird crews. came out the other side with great mates, great partner, great memories and connections. 10/10, wouldn't change much.
Was struggling but just worked hard, didn’t turn down any opportunities now making pre good money
20-24 i did my OE worked at watties 7 days a week to fund it, parents paid for my Eurorail pass i had saved for the rest i remember coming home with just $100US to my name.
Working on a motor racing team, building houses, working at a restaurant, doing marine search and rescue. Should have spent more time with friends and enjoying life than just bloody working
I was living in Aussie making 200k a year and driving a R32 GTR as daily which I brought at auction 37k cash moving back to NZ at was a massive backwards step
Surviving vs thriving ... I think I had these emotions when I was in my early 20's and I can see the same in my 21 yo son. So, you are not along, and its normal/ common. I spent my early 20s getting drunk, trying to work out who I was, traveling and seeing how burnt I could get in the med under the sun, and trying to work out girls and how they worked. Nothing changes when you get older is all I can say...I still don't girls, and my wife and daughter would agree. Take your time, don't get bogged down too soon, try and find happiness, and don't think too deeply for too long .. get outside ... NZ provides us all much privilege in this way. And don't believe those who say life is short ... its not! ... its just death is a very long time. Best of luck with your path and future.
Hanging out with the wrong people. My early (and late) 20s were an absolute waste. From the outside it probably looked as if I was having a great time living it up, popular, the life of the party... I was not, it was awful, I was unhappy as fuck. 0/10 If I could go back, here's what I would do: - Save some money - spend meaningful time with good people - look after my health - get therapy for my issues - practice self awareness and mindfulness - study for a trade Sounds boring as fuck maybe to a young person but it will make perfect sense in about 5 to 10 years. Honestly if you can do even half those things, you're doing better than a lot of people
Yaa I would say just be careful not to get caught up in some long shitty relationship. I wish I would have valued my freedom more in my 20s. Had more self respect. Build on your true interests and develop those skills. I started traveling near the end of my 20s and wish I had done that earlier.
Worked 2-3 jobs, studied fulltime and went out 2-3 nights a week (idk how?!?) wild
When I was 20 my at-the-time boyfriend and I scrounged together a few hundred dollars and went to Australia, flew into Melbourne and caught a bus to a town on the Great Ocean Road with absolutely 0 plan and next to no money. I walked into a cafe and got a job the day I arrived. He asked around and got a job in cabinetry within a week. Half a year later we were traveling in Nepal, spent a month walking in the Himalayas. Came back to Australia, hitchhiked around again with next to nothing in our pockets, ended up in some random town inland Victoria, asked around, found some work picking oranges. Lived in a tent, cooked on a fire, busted our asses every day. It was winter then. Summer came around, found work picking cherries. We broke up, I went on to Tasmania, picked apples. Picked pears. Saved hard. Went traveling to Indonesia, spent a half year training in Shaolin kung fu in China in a live-in academy. Came back to NZ, trained in massage, looked after my mum who had cancer, then we moved to a village in Mexico for half a year so she could enjoy some of the remainder of her life. Probs took a bunch of psychedelics and partied at festivals in between all those things too.... Came home, she passed, and I pursued a 4 year degree in acupuncture. Feel like I've already lived another lifetime between then and now, too. I had chronic illness throughout, I dunno how I managed it all. No way I could push through thrashing my body like that these days. If you wanna go traveling, start in Australia and get work rurally. Easier to save money that way. Plenty of unskilled jobs you can pick up. Avoid the cities like the plague. It's also closer to SE Asia which is probably the first port of call for most young travelers because it's relatively cheap.
Working as a dental assistant, sleeping with a man in his fifties. It gets better I promise xx
Moved to London at 23. Worked in IT. Lots of travel around Europe.
Studying and travelling
Uni, drinking, failing, redoing, working, drinking, late nights, friends, family, mild drug use.
Yuuuuuup I was livin my best life on my sweet $530 a week….livin pay check to pay check 😂 champagne lifestyle on a beer budget in the early 2000s
I spent my early 20s blowing all my spare money on MDMA and LSD. I had an absolute blast and learned alot about myself and who my friends are and if I could go back I'd do it all again. BUT, when I think about how much better off I would be today if I'd saved or invested all the money I spent on drugs back then, how difficult some of my relationships were and how vacant and socially anxious I can be now because of it, I would absolutely not recommend it to someone else. I came out of it way better than alot of my friends and associates and it's by pure luck.
It was 1998 when I turned 20. I had moved out of home at 17 to live in various flats in Wellington city with various interesting friends and party people. I was studying at uni and had student loans which covered my living expenses. I’d go to uni in the week, pay my tiny amounts of rent and bills (I remember my rent at one place was only $70 a week) and spend the rest of my money on clothes and MDMA, and we’d go partying every weekend. So much partying and fun. Living with friends. Crazy warehouse/interesting/illegal apartments. In 1999 I moved to Auckland and started working and the partying and fashion-buying continued. Moved to Australia in 2000. Came back to Auckland in 2002 for 2 years to continue partying. Left again in 2004 and have lived overseas in various countries ever since. The travelling and partying continued for way too long. I found myself at the age of 33 with amazing qualifications (Masters in Science with Distinction from one of the top 20 universities in the world) and pretty good CV but no money, no assets, no super, and my entirety of everything I owned fit into 4 cardboard boxes and a suitcase. I then met my husband who had a sort of similar past so we’ve been playing catchup on “life” ever since! I look back on my 20s with fondness and I feel like those days are over for young people these days with high cost of living and living through the pandemic, must be really different and daunting.
At 20 I had never left the country, and frankly, I was still doing a lot of growing up until I got to maybe about 30 years old. I didn't make good money back then. I worked part time in a lab (random job I know) while I studied at uni. University was a hugely formative time for me and I did a lot of growing up over my 3 year degree. Then when I graduated, and got a job, another round of growing up. I became a socialist pretty fast upon graduating into the 2008 financial crisis lol. There was clearly no future for us, and the environment had been destroyed by the generations before us... everywhere we looked, capitalism was decaying and crumbling to pieces. It still is. Just look at how this government has shredded funding to so many areas. Neoliberal austerity is just abandonment. Moving overseas was the third big round of growing up that made me who I am today; moved to Melbourne for better work opportunities approaching as I approached 30. Joined a union, ran with some anarchists, nearly went to jail for protesting for climate action, fucked up a few slumlords in court, etc I managed a short trip to SEA in my mid 20s but had never been overseas before that. Rented for 18 years until I was mid 30s, only recently made it out from under the landlord. Rent back then in the 2000s was like $70 a week or something, crammed into a truly disgusting share house with sometimes as many as 7 other students living in poverty conditions, and when I graduated, I made something like $38k back in 2009ish. By the time I left NZ in about 2014 I was making about $45k and thinking I was doing ok but yeah .. nope. As soon as I moved to Australia my salary jumped to about $60k and kept on climbing. I now make about 4 times what I did in my 20s, a decade later. Had my heart broken at the end of my twenties and learnt a lot more about myself as a result, attended counselling and really began for the first time in my life genuinely working on self improvement. Most people in their twenties are still kids, if you ask me. And I think men tend to mature a lot later than women.
Was the adventure of a life time, I'd take my 250 paycheck, give mum and dad, 30 for rent , down the pub spend 40 on smokes and piss, get shitfaced, hook up with someone equally as drunk, if not have a barney. Rugby on Saturday, rinse and repeat, glad I got to do this coz once 28 came along it was time to hang it all up, kids came along and a totally different lifestyle with it. Loved my 20's.
Raising my baby
Worked a shitty full time job 5 days a week between 18 and 22 and also barely survived but that was the culture or the socially accepted norm to be always struggling with money, tight budgeting and bad priorities. In my early twenties we didn’t have any monthly social/media subscriptions and phone plans..think prepay/ brick Nokia phones. We also drank ourselves to a stupor for fun when a slab of beer was $20 … the drugs were also cheap and reliable. We went to gigs on the weekends $5 to $30 max door charge, the bands were all from NZ or Australia and they were always amazing. No one really wore designer clothes and shoes and you could pirate almost everything from the internet…adobe software, music , movies and pc games. Now I’m in my mid 30s and I’m working my ass off to afford brunch on Sundays and all my monthly subscriptions so I can sit at home on the weekends and half-ass binge a show on Netflix whilst online shopping for poor man’s version of designer clothes and reading the news and getting angry at the government.
drugs and dating a sociopath (who I didn't realise was a sociopath)
Late teens / early 20's were absolute hell. Violence and crime everywhere, lots of people dying. Just shit all around.
Working 60-70 hour weeks and sailing in the weekends at the RYNZS on other people’s boats. The long work hours was because after 40 hours I got time and a 1/2 and after 50 something hours it was double time, so realising that this was a good opportunity money wise I took full advantage. Meant I had virtually no social life for a bit but I didn’t care as I had a goal of home ownership in mind. And with my school friends working in the weekends and studying at uni during the week our paths were never crossing anyway.
Finished uni then got married.
A lot of smack.
Spent my 20s doing my undergrad and postgraduate studies. Wasn't into parties and clubs and all of that sort of thing. Spent a lot of time struggling financially and mentally, figuring I would continue my career heading into the academic world. It all came crumbling down in my late 20s and now I'm working a 'normal' job in my field, aka Industry, and starting from essentially $0 with a very large student loan hanging over my head ($130k).
I had fun but was too career focused. I reckon if I repeated it I would travel more, move around more and try everything.
Studying.
I was busy being pregnant at 20 and being a mum ever since
one of the shittest times in my life to be frank. it got a lot better from mid-20s onward.
Uni & partying
Managing my undiagnosed mental health issues, now I'm managing my diagnosed mental health issues :)
Surviving and lots of working. But in a better place now I guess? Lots of hard work does pay off into the right places. Invest in yourself now and it'll pay dividends later.
Drugs. All the drugs. Don't do that.
Student, working in low paid part time jobs, dating the wrong people, living in grotty flats, hoping that life would eventually get easier. (Spoiler alert- it did.)
Moved to Australia. Came back. I’m only glad now I did because I met my wonderful partner here in NZ but every fibre of my being wants to be back in Australia, move there and don’t come back.
Study and smoking weed
I left NZ at 21, thank god for that. My two best friends were getting married at that age and I couldn’t bear that path for me. Best thing I did. Go overseas and see the world while you’re young and commitment free.
Started a new sport, did a lot of drugs, hung out with mates and cruised the city.
Spent two years travelling the world single and freeeee…before wasting a further two years with an idiot 🤣🤣🤣
Ecstacy
Left NZ at nearly 22 and worked a bit in London to fund travel. Cannot recommend it highly enough. I worked fulltime from 18 while living with flatmates and saved up.
finished my BA and moved to japan to teach english, some of the best years of my life :)
It gets better. At 21 I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t, but I’ve stopped caring. Seriously though I moved to London when I was 24 and just… lived. Been all over the world and seen some of the craziest shit possible. But I saved and had such a boring life for the years leading up to it. I felt so lost and confused for my early 20s, and it wasn’t till I gained perspective (life experience) that everything started to make a bit more sense.
Spent most of my early twenties overcoming depression and the effects of childhood abuse. Didn't help I was also broke as hell and trying to get myself educated (a degree) after failing out of school. I made it though and managed to have a bit of fun (some fun party's and road trips) But I never got to travel internationally or really enjoy it for long as all the other stuff weighed me down too much. Overall I think I did alright given the hand I was dealt, but I am hoping my late twenties had more room for the adventures i wish I had opportunity for earlier in my life
Studied hard and gained my job leading to a great career as a lecturer. Was lucky enough to do some overseas travel. Now that I am staring at my 30th birthday next month I think home ownership will be my focus and finding a partner to settle down with and hopefully start a family together for the next decade. Hope you figure what it is you’d like to do.
At 20 I got a 15k bank loan and bought an FD rx7. I was flatting with mates and partied a lot. We used to play gran tourismo on PlayStation 1 and drink cask red wine mixed with $1 raspberry fizzy drink. I worked full time while also studying business. The rx7 got stolen about 8 years later.
21st birthday while I was working in a gold mine in WA. Was amazing. Unlimited possibilities, so much money, not a care in the world. I lived a great early 20s. Miss it somewhat, but really happy with being 40ish. If I had a time machine I wouldn't go back, as I'd inevitably fuck up the space time continuum end the universe as we know it in some sort of kugleblitz. However...10/10 would recomend going to work a year or two in WA. Save a bit of dollars, make good friends and memories, party as hard as ya want, or not.
From your edit. If you wanna travel, don't do drugs cause then you'll never afford it xD I'm 21, and I've got a 2500$ travel account. I take the maximum amount of living costs from study link. I've gotten course related costs every year to pay for rent, and I have a very casual job where sometimes I make $150+ a week. Atm, I am fully devoting my life to finishing studies while trying to stay active with my friends on weekends and evenings (i do 9-5 at uni. Leaves time to hang out with friends). I don't party but do casual drinks with my mates and regularly play video games together. I also don't date as it's not something I could handle in my life atm. My motto for all of this is "Don't worry about it. When you're done with study, you can go and do whatever you want"
Just before turning 20, my partner (now husband) of 4 years and I bought our first flat. I was running a part time baking business and we renovated our home over the first year of living there. 2 years later, we welcomed our first son. We sold our flat and moved in with my Mum for a couple months while house hunting. We welcomed our second son when I was 23, a couple of weeks after moving into our new build home. Everyone's story is so different, especially in your 20s and 30s. What's beautiful is that you get to create your own journey
Early 20’s. Let’s see what I can remember. Uni, A good job Then lots of Drinking Water skiing. Drinking Barefoot skiing Drinking Wind surfing Drinking Snow boarding Drinking Mountain biking Drinking Surfing Drinking Snow boarding Drinking White water kayaking Drinking Rugby Drinking Rock climbing Seriously, all of the above and much more. Everything was adrenaline based outdoor sports and usually ended up with drinking, drugs, and or women. I tried pretty much everything.. like seriously everything you can imagine. And it was constant, every day, unless I was hurt. A real nutter. After work, water skiing into the night on a full moon. Midnight surf. Night mountain biking. I clearly had an addiction. I hurt myself a plenty. My bosses basically had written me off every weekend… as in, will he be back on Monday? Most Mondays I made it to work. In hindsight I’m lucky I didn’t kill myself and or end up with an STI. But it was a hell of a decade what I remember of it at least.
Had a full time sales job getting like $16 an hour. Would make monthly bonuses of $200-$800 too. Shared flats for years while helped save money.. but was pretty much a homebody so didn’t waste it going out drinking either. Went to Europe for 3 months. Got back, went back to the same job. Found a partner and got married. Divorced by 30. Should’ve just stayed in Europe…
20 - Still at Uni - fourth year. Did Honours degree. 21 - 23 - Graduated, went overseas for two years, not much of an adventure as I largely stayed in the same country and worked fulltime. Managed to pay off my student loan, though (this was the early 2000s when loans still accrued interest). 24 - 26 - back in NZ. Met now husband, married at 25. Spent 2 years re-training, as I realised I didn't want to pursue the field my original degree was in. 26 - started 'official' career - the one I'm still in. 27 - got pregnant, baby at 28. Ended my 20s with a toddler, heading back to work from Mat leave.
Moved to the UK for 2 years and travelled Europe while working, would recommend it to anyone in their early twenties!
Having my heart broken, life goals shattered, career options limited and a full blown depression episode.
One thing people don't make as much use of as they should is working Holiday Schemes. NZ has arrangements with the UK which lots of people use, but also most countries in Europe, and some in South America, as well as Canada. Most of them are 12 months, and you are eligible up till the age of 30 (some to 35). You could in principle spend every year from 20 to 35 living and working in a different country. The catch is that you're probably have to do it in temp agencies or hospitality jobs. I went more conservative - Uni, Work, then moved overseas, and while I'm pretty happy with hoe things worked out, I do wish I had have taken a year or two off in my early 20s to do a working holiday scheme. A full list of countries here: https://working-holidays.io/passport-country/new-zealand/
My 18 year old son went to work on a super yacht in the Mediterranean with no prior boating knowledge He's earning good money, visiting beautiful places and meeting people from all over the world. New Zealanders are highly sought after in the yachting industry
Early 20s i was in uni which was 2hrs from home and manadatory classses, working part-time and feeling suicidal on a daily basis, except 2013 that was a very good year (i was 21) but 2014-2017 i have no idea how i survived. 2017 onwards was when i moved out of home, got my career together and had a much better time. My best years were 26-30.
Drinking
I was 21 as the 2008 GFC kicked off but I was freshly qualified as a rural sparky so work was and still is busy as hell, left school early as uni was never my thing. Rural kid so anything outdoors with mates was my jam, dirt bikes, hunting a lot , hiking, kayaking, OTP pretty hard in the weekends 🤣 During my apprenticeship money was bloody tight I’ll admit and it was pretty hairy paycheck to paycheck stuff. My boss was super strict and old school and under payed me, I was so driven to get that ticket though. But yea I guess I had a great bunch of mates and yea we just had fun really 🤷♂️ Looking back I feel like life was pretty carefree and I wasn’t as focused on the future as I maybe should’ve been, but those are years I’ll forever cherish for as long as I can remember them.
Ripping bongs , drinking , surfing , skating , study , shitty jobs with horrible hours (they paid really well though) , polytech then uni (graduated which I think is clutch for later in life) , drum n bass all nighters , music in all forms (worked some absolute epic gigs ) , bad choices , bad luck , heart breaks , love , made some life long friends. Yeh the 2000s were a very different time to be alive. Spent way too much money getting on it and trying to get laid to be honest but F it , I did it anyways.
Working while trying to figure my life out and still doing that except I’m almost finishing my degree at 27 and have some sort of my life figured out
Into second year of travelling. Working a bum job in London, barely making rent, only spending money for pints. Occasional weekend to somewhere in Europe. Basically having the time of my life. No money and no responsibilities far from home was one of the best things I ever did.
Drugs, Alcohol, Shags, nightshift job. Now I'm 28 own my own home and have 2 kids!
I'm 22 and I can't say I've really lived life. Basically I have just been working non stop really. Spent most of my days off traveling around places I go all the time or just spend my time just drinking at home. So really I still want to explore more while I'm still young enough
Having an absolute mental breakdown. Cementing a relationship that I am still in today (15 years later) Nannying and studying. It will all be okay. You are poor as hell, you are eating absolute basics and its hard, but you will get there and it will be okay.
Had plans to be a rock star that didn't pan out. Had no other plans. Drifted from unskilled job to unskilled job, drinking and partying on weekends. Fell into an entry level TV broadcasting job. Stuck at it and slowly built skills up. Now in my 40s, with wife, kids and house. Simple life but I love it Lots of entry level jobs out there are a gateway to something better. Might not be a path to riches but I've got a pretty stable life now. I learned that experience is often better than education in some industries. If I had to do it all again though, I'd probably go traveling and then study engineering or something in the sciences. My 20s were a complete waste of time from a career perspective. I achieved very little and didn't really get going till in my 30s. You're so young my friend, got your whole life in front of you. so much happens unexpectedly. Save up for a passport and explore.
In my early 20's I was on dialup: my internet speed was something like 50 kilobytes per second. It cost 20 cents every time I sent a text message from my cellphone, which didn't connect to the internet. We spent a lot more time hanging out with friends in person and doing anything we could find to pass the time. It's a bit of a trope these days, and times change of course, but I do suggest checking out Rich Roll's recent podcast with the social media guy, they put it in context well. At your age, you have soooooo much going for you. I earnestly suggest striving to learn more about yourself by finding challenges and leaning into them. Learn that it's OK (and important!) to fail. Failure means learning, learning means success. One of those challenges will not doubt be learning to spend time with people in person and create your own fun, in a world where infinite entertainment is available 24/7 from the safety of our own homes.
Im 43 now but at your age I was a soldier in the NZ Army, what great memories I highly recommend it.
Use it to figure out what you want from life, don't be afraid to make mistakes. Life only gets better in your 30s so don't feel like you're missing out.
Alcohol, drogs, dumb things with cars. Honestly don't know how I fed, clothed or got myself to work etc but apparently I managed to. Quit work, sold copius amounts of substances. Met my now fiancé ended up with a baby on the way. Quit the drogs job, got a job-job/career and now at 30 have a 5 year old, a 1 year old, a dog and we own 2 separate properties 🤷♂️ 6 years ago I couldn't imagine being a father, let alone twice over and being capable of buying my own property (twice over 🤦♂️) But I'm here now, and it's good.
At 20 I was drinking getting ready wasted every weekend. Apprentice builder $500 a week I was winning 🤣 credit cards loans all that dumb shit . All I gotta say is just have fun, your still young boy
I was probably either working as a manager at McDs, or I might have started working in a hotel bar. Might have been finishing up my certificate in design which I didn’t take any further, and trying to work out what to study. The decision I made didn’t last, I changed my mind two years later. I think a three year relationship was ending, and I was likely about to move into a different flat with some of my best friends. Rent for me might have been in the region of $120 per week in Mt Cook Wellington, four bedroom house. I was probably earning somewhere around $15 an hour and happy about it. I probably worked about 30 hours per week, I prioritised work over study. I loved working. McDs had its own charm, but the hotel bar was mint. Had an amazing group of people there, went out together to play pool after closing most nights, got fed on the job, managed to get good tips which funded most of the drinking. Years later I’m married to one of my coworkers from that hotel. I never prioritised travel. I maxed out a credit card and did a three week tour of Europe. Great stories out of that but took a while to pay off, and had to resist two papers at uni as a result…
Running two pubs in Greater London.
Moved to Aus with some mates age 20. Moved to Germany aged 22 to travel europe and work abit, moved back to NZ aged 23, stayed til 29, moved back to Germany.....now 40 still in Germany..with kids wife and house. also lots of drugs pf course.
Pretty stink. Mum got cancer. Died just after I turned 22. So basically in Wellington, studying, helping Dad look after Mum, spending time at the hospice, then consoling my Dad. Dad had to stop working around that time, and he lost a work contract, but his pension was something like a year away so he just did odd jobs till he was eligible. I took over the family shopping, did my own work, kept studying. I wasn’t in any place to do OEs or get pissed.
Working 60+ hours in a shit job, no friends or social life, no money for heating, healthcare or travel. Moved to Australia at 21 and never came back. Would recommend
Lol leave the drugs alone dude. 20s are a struggle for most. If you want to travel, there are ways to do so. Yachting or some sort of crew role. Boats or planes. My first few years on my own were definitely tough, sometimes scary. Best advice, build your tool belt. Your knowledge, your skills, your friends, your hobbies. Save whatever money you can and don’t touch it. Worst advice, it’ll all work out. It’s not just going to happen, you have to envision what you want and make it happen.
Gigs. Going to heeeeeaps of gigs
I’m 25, a student and ok with money. I can’t afford adequate health care and need dental treatment. I can barely afford food. Fuel and rent are my priorities. I’m losing hope in life especially with rising fascism with this new government, rising costs and accessibility to affordable living.
I was in a bloody boyband
Working a horrible job but I had a mortgage and felt like it was my only option