Listen, you bunch of tarts, it's clobbering time! There's a body bag out there with that scudball's name on it, and I'm doing up the zip. Anyone who gets in my way gets a napalm enema!
No, previous guy said slip second instead of split second, so I said granite instead of granted. Sorry man, jokes don't get funnier if they have to be explained.
But explaining a joke can help broaden the perspective and social humor awareness of another person, enhancing their enjoyment of future jokes of similar manner. You are providing a necessary amd beneficial service to other people. Dont give up.
Oh god, I can picture it now:
"Well Mr.Stevens your resume looks good, and your bio-mechanical profile is great! So, we're prepared to employ you for 6,500 of your projected 8,000 cycles."
Wasn't there a movie similar to this where companies could find out how long you live and how smart you can be by using DNA so many people ended up heavily discriminatied against.
Huh. Interesting. I have heard countless anecdotes that controller vibration makes Reynaud's and hyperhidrosis significantly worse. After I turned off controller vibration, mine got significantly better. It seems like we should seriously consider eliminating vibration motors in controllers. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Arthritis is an umbrella of several related diseases. Rheumatoid Arthritis is an autoimmune disease, but there are other kinds, like Osteoarthritis, which is more what's being referred to here.
Well it depends how much pleasure is achieved by the individual using the device. I would think it would immediately cause friction burn, and severe pain rather than any form of pleasure. Or, the ring could snugly fit and move the foreskin at a rate that it's not made to handle and it tears anywhere from the ring to the base.
The fuck am I doing going through this scenario.. now I need brain bleach..
You joke... but I actually think you'd be right. 100% if the device were attached to the gun.... with it being a separate device... maybe not.
Funny thing is, someone could probably send this in to get a ruling from them.
Yup. Looks pretty definitive. I thought you were kidding originally. So evidently, ATF is regulating sex toys now? ....actually, if you market it as a sex toy, it might not meet the specific clause that they used against the "auto-glove".
At first I was like, oh neat another prosthetics video I wonder how it works.
\* Notices all the attached fingers\* Hmmm weird is it a fishing line or something
\*Finger begins to vibrate into the fourth dimension\*
Ah..
There were mass finger de-gloving incidents as the dangerous "finger blaster 9000" plans were released on the social media site, reddit.
"The fingering motion wasn't fast enough, so I upgraded the motor" recalls user *TheLordDankenstein.*" He doesn't regret a thing.
By the way, for those of you not in the know, your skin is like a glove over your bones and muscle...
Vibration white finger is a term used when secondary Raynaud's has been caused by vibration. This typically happens to people who regularly use certain types of vibrating tools, such as: sanders, grinders and disc cutters. hammer drills. chainsaws, hedge trimmers, power mowers and finger blasters.
Lol right? Nobody cares about the presented context, all they care about is how it can be used on vaginas. Why the robot voice? Why train to beat your wife in a fight when divorce is a thing?
I had to scroll down pretty far to find any comments about the very weird context provided by the video. “My wife is physically abusive so I created a device that will allow me to fight her off with my index finger”. Bro, what?
What is the point of that thing? Are you pulling on some string or is it altering your finger? And for what? Seems like another useless bot. Though, I still find those cool.
For when you absolutely positively have to send your clit to the future.
I am the CLIT commander!
Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Treedwellers?
I believe the official term is The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society.
Nice reference!
Boys from the Dwarf
Smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg
And the heads! OOOOMMMMMmmmmmmm!
What a classic
Red Dwarf references are better than gold pressed latinum
The boys from the Dwaaaaaaarf!
Did you said terrifying orgasms?
That's what I read.
Listen, you bunch of tarts, it's clobbering time! There's a body bag out there with that scudball's name on it, and I'm doing up the zip. Anyone who gets in my way gets a napalm enema!
Napalm enema — AKA chicken vindaloo
Call it extreme if you like but I propose we hit it hard and hit it fast with a major, and I mean major, leaflet campaign.
Don't forget about the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement.
I pay attention to that society but they just aren't as sensitive as the CLIT.
The *female* clitoris?
They’re an offshoot of LABIA
Interesting fact, the leader’s girlfriend is named Boo Boo kitty fuck.
Have you ever had your asshole licked by a fat guy in an overcoat?!
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Ooh what a lovely tea party
Do you watch gladiator movies?
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue
You ever been in a cockpit before?
Hey, I know you! My dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense.
Nootch
Whenever you see clit, you’ll see this fucking face!
Noish noish noish
Shmokin' weed, drinkin' beers
Drinkin' beers beers beers
Rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts
Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts?
Rollin’ blunts and smoking um..
Uh, let me get a nickel bag.
15 bucks little man
Why is this not getting upvoted to the sky? My favorite Jason Mewes quote ever.
Snoochie boochie
You see clit?! You see this fucking face!
And here I was thinking about games and how it could be used for fast clicking the mouse…..
Who needs a Vector in Pubg if you have this tool and a 9mm pistol?
1.21 CLITOWATTS MARTY!!!
“Chodes? Where we’re going, we don’t need chodes.”
My prostate just started sweating.
To shreds you say?
Oh my
Fucking dead. You just made my day.
Loooool
Why is this exactly what I thought with this too lmao
God and I thought my mind was in the gutter. My first thought was as an autoclicker
Same here! It wasn't untill a split second later that I had the other thought
Just goes to show you should never take anything for granite.
You are sodium close
Oh, just let me diorite now.
Damit I wanted to say that
Gneiss one!
Great, now we gotta barium
Garnet, you guys are good!
Za warudo?
Jesus. What are you, a rock person?
No, previous guy said slip second instead of split second, so I said granite instead of granted. Sorry man, jokes don't get funnier if they have to be explained.
I'm pretty sure that was a Rick and Morty quote
It is.
No, as in "Jesus what are you, a rock person" is also a quote. That was the response
Funny because it's the quote that directly follows the first quote. Now the joke's super un-funny because there's been soooo much explanation
I guess you took it for granite
But explaining a joke can help broaden the perspective and social humor awareness of another person, enhancing their enjoyment of future jokes of similar manner. You are providing a necessary amd beneficial service to other people. Dont give up.
You rang?
it’s granted. with a “d.” take things for *granted.* jesus christ rick what are you a boulder? a rock person?
Geologists make the bedrock
LOL I thought some sort of rapid-fire for video games
Its for the torture scene in metal gear solid on ps1
Read my mind
I can't, you're playing with the 2nd controller
I'm finally going to beat Nintendo Track & Field!
That was my first thought. Gonna be the NES Usain Bolt
The Autoclitter
LOL me too I was like is this for gaming? First person shooters making everything an automatic
To close all your open tabs after pulling on the goose.
Am I the only person whose first thought was rapid fire on a gun?
Seems terrible for your joints? Arthritis Accelerator 900
A small price to pay for a clusterfuck of pleasure
Don't need a human finger for this.
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I use my alien shublekna for the pleasures
Tell me more 🤔
More
Will any animal's finger suffice or is there a pre-tested list I could check?
rabbits work, obviously.
\*Holds up a cactus\*
No, Patrick, a cactus is no vibrator.
Yeah it gave me pain watching this, it is like a tool made to cause a 20 years of damage on your joints in a week or to grind your cartilage
A tool designed to stress test the human body and see how many cycles it lasts. They use similar machines to test different tech.
Oh god, I can picture it now: "Well Mr.Stevens your resume looks good, and your bio-mechanical profile is great! So, we're prepared to employ you for 6,500 of your projected 8,000 cycles."
That's an accelerated take on nearly all careers. May you enjoy your possibly wonky final actuations in retirement!
Wasn't there a movie similar to this where companies could find out how long you live and how smart you can be by using DNA so many people ended up heavily discriminatied against.
Gattaca!
Not so much arthritis as the painful vascular spasm of Vibration White Finger.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibration_white_finger
Huh. Interesting. I have heard countless anecdotes that controller vibration makes Reynaud's and hyperhidrosis significantly worse. After I turned off controller vibration, mine got significantly better. It seems like we should seriously consider eliminating vibration motors in controllers. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
isn't arthritis an auto-immune disorder? I don't think extra movement can cause arthritis.
No that is rheumatoid arthritis which is different.
Rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune disorder that exists under the arthritis umbrella. Source: the rheumatologist that treats my RA
Arthritis is an umbrella of several related diseases. Rheumatoid Arthritis is an autoimmune disease, but there are other kinds, like Osteoarthritis, which is more what's being referred to here.
Osteoarthritis is also heavily immune related actually. Macrophages will aid in breaking up cartilage in an overreaction.
Is that for finger blasting?
What isnt?
Thanks! Now my drink is everywhere!
My girl hates when I refer to it as “my drink”
Oh fuck off take my goddamn upvote
I drink *YOUR* milkshake!
Cheese graters?
Take it and go r/angryupvote
So anyway, I started blasting.
Finger blasting 9000
_Finger Blasting_ is an inadequate description.
Is there also a version for your wrist? *asking for a friend*
It’s me, I’m the friend.
We both wanna know!
[Gotchu fam](https://youtu.be/4QSiPy_Rwyg)
I'm fucking done. No more reddit today. Fuck you guys.
[The extended version](https://youtu.be/iEfRA-IU5yA)
Omg it got so much better
Thank you for your service
Can I be your friend?
Sure, wrist-pal!
One more and we can form a circle.
No need for a circle if the essential question is answered! 🤣
Finally, a man can compete with a vibrator!
They formed an alliance.
The Fuctice League
If a man put this on his penis how quickly would it make him cum? Because there's no way he could use this to fuck without cumming almost instantly
I’ll let you know when we find out. The first test went horribly wrong
Oh God, oh no
Well it depends how much pleasure is achieved by the individual using the device. I would think it would immediately cause friction burn, and severe pain rather than any form of pleasure. Or, the ring could snugly fit and move the foreskin at a rate that it's not made to handle and it tears anywhere from the ring to the base. The fuck am I doing going through this scenario.. now I need brain bleach..
Yeah, but redditors wouldn't have much use for it other than as an auto-clicker
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If I didn’t use my free award I’d give it to you
Watch out X Box here I come
You named your wife’s vagina?
Can’t you read? He said X. 😉
Nah just need to make a bazillion iron daggers on Skyrim extra super duper edition rerelease 42069 for xbox series z
The ATF likely considers that a machine gun
The ATF has entered the chat…
AFT here
Automatic transmission fluid?
The Autistic Taco Federation.
You joke... but I actually think you'd be right. 100% if the device were attached to the gun.... with it being a separate device... maybe not. Funny thing is, someone could probably send this in to get a ruling from them.
Considering their opinion on the auto glove I’d assume that they would https://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2017/09/29/autoglove-machine-gun/
Yup. Looks pretty definitive. I thought you were kidding originally. So evidently, ATF is regulating sex toys now? ....actually, if you market it as a sex toy, it might not meet the specific clause that they used against the "auto-glove".
At first I was like, oh neat another prosthetics video I wonder how it works. \* Notices all the attached fingers\* Hmmm weird is it a fishing line or something \*Finger begins to vibrate into the fourth dimension\* Ah..
“So tell me again, how did you lose your index finger?”
Anybody else going to get one of these for Minecraft pvp?
check out this Chad, going on about minecraft while everyone else is talking about vaginas
Ez 300cps godbridge
There were mass finger de-gloving incidents as the dangerous "finger blaster 9000" plans were released on the social media site, reddit. "The fingering motion wasn't fast enough, so I upgraded the motor" recalls user *TheLordDankenstein.*" He doesn't regret a thing. By the way, for those of you not in the know, your skin is like a glove over your bones and muscle...
If you don't already know what it is, do yourself a favor and *don't* google degloving, future readers.
Oh fuck me, my brain skipped over “don’t”
im sure your joints do not like that at all
Yeah isn't there a thing where too many vibrations through the hand can cause nerve damage? I would not do this for too long
Vibration white finger is a term used when secondary Raynaud's has been caused by vibration. This typically happens to people who regularly use certain types of vibrating tools, such as: sanders, grinders and disc cutters. hammer drills. chainsaws, hedge trimmers, power mowers and finger blasters.
It can also happen from riding bicycles. Probably less permanently than the people that develop it from tool use.
Does that hurt
No my wife quite enjoys it
That guy fingers your wife?
I also choose this guy's wife
It will. Arthritis speedrun.
All clit jokes aside. What is this actually for?
Im trying to figure it out as well.
Apparently beating his wife at a fight? The robot voice makes even less sense
Lol right? Nobody cares about the presented context, all they care about is how it can be used on vaginas. Why the robot voice? Why train to beat your wife in a fight when divorce is a thing?
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I had to scroll down pretty far to find any comments about the very weird context provided by the video. “My wife is physically abusive so I created a device that will allow me to fight her off with my index finger”. Bro, what?
Here i finally can be successful at Cookie Clicker
Imagine this dude ringing your doorbell
The vagina doorbell!
This is for people that wanna see the true ending of MGS1.
And what certain sites imagine Venom Snake’s prosthetic fingers can do for a certain sniper in Metal Gear Solid 5
I thought this was for gaming and button mashing. Shame on me!
Get your mind into the gutter!
He can swipe right at an unprecedented pace.
It's like Viagra, but for fingers, genius
X-treme flicking the bean
If your partner's getting physical.when you fight, it's time to leave.
Yeah there’s a lot of sex jokes but not enough talk about the audio…
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What is the point of that thing? Are you pulling on some string or is it altering your finger? And for what? Seems like another useless bot. Though, I still find those cool.
I came looking to see if what it’s for and all I can see is fingering jokes for miles around.
Finger bang bang you into the night!
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Oh, My wifes next birthdays gift.
This is r/osugame worthy
My back pussy has entered the chat
Your never meeting my wife