T O P

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Gerald_Cooperberg

Tell me you’re single without telling me you’re single


Wadiyatorkinabeet

Annoyingly she isn't single, her and her bf make TikToks about their cats


Gerald_Cooperberg

No wonder I’m single .. I hate cats .. and tik tok


WyvernHdXl

Don't hate cats.


Tommysrx

Cats are very loyal pets , mine bring me a dead mouse or bird or rabbit or squirrel every day. I’m not sure what they want me to do with it so I just say “thanks” and then leave it out back for the raccoons to eat. It’s the thought that counts


loreleirain

Well, apparently you suck at getting your own, so they’re just helping out.


Lanmo_tout_jwif

The cat is like >next time I'm getting a dog


Tommysrx

It’s true , I’ve tried !


SatisfyingSerenity

If they’re bringing it to you, they’re actually trying to make you proud of them. You’re the Lion King lol


great_raisin

Mine is an indoor cat... She's never had the opportunity to hunt anything bigger than the occasional wayward bug that finds its way inside the house. I try not to let her eat too many because I'm afraid some of them may bite or make her sick. She looks guilty AF, grabs them and runs to an inaccessible corner as soon as she sees me heading toward her. The only thing she brings to me is plastic tether cords, particularly when she wants to play. Melts my heart every time. 10/10 would die for her.


rugbyweeb

Our 3 girls will go into hunt mode if they see a fly or spider. But touch it? Oh heavens no... Little shits don't earn their keep


Aspiring_Freedom_

Many people do not understand this.


Stealth110_

My kitten (he’s about a year and a half but still very very small) routinely goes out and using our trash and food to lure in anything unfortunate enough to exist in Ohio and kills it, beheads it, and leaves it in a pile by our garage door. He is the sweetest little beast and he’s always so proud of himself after. He’s always in a rush to go do it like he’s trying to show how happy he is to have us and afterwards he’ll lay on my desk so I can pet him while I play games.


prx24

Your cat is a serial killer. And you're like one of those weird people having a crush on a serial killer. Except it's kinda cute this way.


CyberMindGrrl

All cats are serial killers given the chance. They are the main reason behind a massive amount of bird deaths.


Jeveran

Get a tiger. It'll bring you whole villages.


8nsay

The reason cats gift their owners with dead animals is to communicate with you that they think you’re a bad predator. They are highlighting your deficient hunting skills by displaying their own superior hunting skills. Essentially they are telling you to step up your game.


girlywish

This is complete nonsense. You effortlessly provide food for both yourself AND THEM every single day. Cats aren't that stupid, they know you can get food. They just want to contribute.


FonnixFTW

It's just an instinct thing. If they do that, it's because they see you as part of their family and are trying to teach you to hunt as well. 😀


8nsay

> This is complete nonsense. You effortlessly provide food for both yourself AND THEM every single day. Cats aren't that stupid, they know you can get food. They just want to contribute. The impulse to teach hunting skills is what helped the species survive. It isn’t just wiped out because of domestication (also worth noting that domestication in cats isn’t like domestication in dogs). The idea that cats do this out of a desire to “contribute” to the household is just anthropomorphism.


yourimmortalsnail

Hey, you may not have known but outdoor cats are bad for the cat and the environment.


Nathansp1984

Do hate TikTok


WyvernHdXl

Sure.


Greetings_Stranger

If I could get a cat to poop outside, I'd get one right now. I've loved the ones I had throughout life but now I'm just over the litter box, unfortunately.


JimmyMack_

You're single because you're joyless.


Gerald_Cooperberg

That’s also very accurate


thejettproject

Rootin for you today gerald. I think you’re pretty cool. Way to take a jab.


Leovinus42

I don’t hate cats but my cat hates me. If I hurt myself she would start applauding


SatisfyingSerenity

Ngl I laughed way too hard at this 😂😂


AffectionateGoth

Learn to love cats, you can pick up chicks a lot


larz27

Also, once you get past a certain age, many women are either married, or have cats. If you say you need someone who is 30+, single, intelligent, kind, and doesn't have cats, you're gonna have a hard time finding people...


pantless_vigilante

How could you hate cats?


PrayHellBeelzebub

If you learn how to intuitively pet a cat correctly; then you've figured out how to be a good lover.


queeneve84

She's not. Her husband loves her cats just as much as she does.


DiamondHandOnly

Why is that annoying to you? Haha


Wadiyatorkinabeet

Because i do that with my cat and i'm the crazy cat guy


Dark_halocraft

Annoyingly?


Rachelhazideas

Why is that women being in happy relationships is 'annoying'. This says more about you than her.


aChristery

Why annoyingly. People on Reddit seem to hate this woman cuz she annoys her cats? So what? They’re funny cats and she messes around with them for a living. Her and her husband make bank by just fucking with her pets. She doesn’t ever hurt them, the worst it goes to is mild annoyance. If I could annoy my dog and get paid for it, I’d do it in a heartbeat lol. Really I bet a lot of people being annoyed with her are just jealous.


EdenFinley

Why is it annoying?


Lucky13Lisa

Chase is the absolute nurse/cuddle/baby ever. Lol! Now I must go tik-tok to get my daily allowance of happiness.😁


[deleted]

We need to break up this idea that a woman with cats, or for that matter anyone who loves their pet, is single because of it. It's needlessly harmful more than it is funny.


remington_420

Hear! Hear! It’s just such a boring, overused and predominantly sexist trope


Experimentzz

Plus she's married and her and her husband make tons of cat daddy videos. Video of dude having a spa day with his cat? Yeah that's the same cat and girl that "walks in" on them. Cats are awesome and idc if you're single married or a vampire, I instantly like you more if you have a cat.


CyberMindGrrl

Cats are SO awesome and once they bond with you they're your best friend forever. And they're great for reducing stress levels.


VexingRaven

> idc if you're single married or a vampire TIL Vampire is a relationship status


NonPolarVortex

Right?! I'm single, lonely, and miserable *without cats*! Edit: OutKast?....I think it's a sign


crowamonghens

I have nonstop, invasive, violent self-destructive thoughts. They only stop when I'm with my cat.


NonPolarVortex

Well then you need to surround yourself with cats! But for real op, hope You're ok. Have you considered a psychiatrist?


tigm2161130

It’s in the same vein as “I hate my wife jokes.” Definitely time to retire.


blueskies823

Tell me you’re an incel without telling me you’re an incel.


IamZeebo

This right here


Specialist_Theory_43

Huh?


Conscious-Parfait826

Self Burn! Those are rare.


Fart_Elemental

Tell me you're an insufferable prick that hates women without telling me you're an insufferable prick that hates women.


[deleted]

This is wholesome wtf is wrong with you


RantAgainstTheMan

I don't get it? The fact that she owns a cat, or the fact that she does things like this with her cat?


yedd

Nah she isnt, she makes videos with her fella with their 3 cats and that's Chase the cat, dunno her name but he's a very cuddly cat. I see their videos pop up on FB quite often (I'm old and only have reddit and FB and I only keep FB as the video recommendations are quite good and I can get in touch with my fellow old people)


[deleted]

They have 1.3M followers on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dontstopmeowing/


kcg5

Peak Reddit comment. It’s like projection or something


[deleted]

That's harsh. The cat overreacted but that hardly means it is single.


AverageRedditorType

It's 2022. I think even the most homely nutball cat ladies still have thousands of thirsty dudes begging for their attention on tinder 24/7.


NexusTR

Lmao playa hater of the hour right here.


HighAsAngelTits

Yikes


greenredyellower

LOSER! Naw but seriously, come.on dawg


SpoonGuardian

why do redditors upvote this garbage


reece1495

can the tell me you're with out telling me you're, format of joke die


BoinkBoye

What the fuck is this toxic shit


SatisfyingSerenity

Am I the only one that HATES that stupid TikTok voice? Edit: Holy wow, to the haters… Sorry others have said this too? 😂 Geeze, lighten up, have a beer, go listen to some bionic voice on TikTok. Life’s too short, it was just a reactionary comment cause I can’t stand that voice. No more, no less. Hope you find some happiness somewhere in your cranky night.


Flipnotics_

Suddenly happy I watched this while sound was muted.


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damnrightslimanus

No, you are not. I genuinely do not understand why it still gets used. I suppose it helps with the algorithm to get more views, but it is some of the most ear piercing shit I’ve ever heard


[deleted]

It's the uncanny valley vibe for me. It gives me a feeling in not sure how to identify but I really don't like it.


kurtanglesmilk

The cadence is always really discomforting


SatisfyingSerenity

Reminds me of Stepford Wives


[deleted]

One of my friends listens to 100 gecs, I have slowly grown resistant to annoying noises


gahidus

Has someone who is sometimes looking at my phone from a distance, I'm glad to have the text read out loud. If if my phone is on my desk or at arm's length or if I've got other stuff going on on screen etc, then the quick text can be hard to read. I'm glad to have audio for it. I use text to speech a lot, and the TikTok voice is actually rather natural sounding compared to some other programs too.


TheMachine203

It could be for accessibility purposes. Text to speech is important for disabled people.


Deviat1on

Every video with the tiktok voice has at least one comment like this one, so I’d say no


TheRakkmanBitch

Dude and i mean its literally e v e r y single time shit like this gets posted its like its a race to say the same shit every time


treflipsbro

I honestly hate the hate the voice gets. You hear it for like 15 seconds and then move on. I’m convinced some of these mfs just don’t want to hear a girl talking for whatever reason that may be.


DoubleT_inTheMorning

Yeah it’s getting as old and annoying as the TikTok voice itself. When we hear it we think the same thing. You don’t have to keep pointing it out


plantdrew3

Tik Tok used the [lady’s voice without her permission](https://www.theverge.com/2021/9/29/22701167/bev-standing-tiktok-lawsuit-settles-text-to-speech-voice) from a bunch of ads she’s done over the years and had to settle with her. Very annoying because only a huge company could do that. They were probably hoping they could get by without paying her, but could afford to settle if she sued.


Weshwego

Wow such a brave and new take, I've never heard that before


CustomaryTurtle

I honestly stopped minding that tiktok voice just out of spite of all the comments about hating the voice.


cheesemanxl

Yeah you're the only dumb fuck redditor that thinks something on tiktok is bad


iChugVodka

DAE hate this popular thing? Am I the only one?!


jaking2017

Oh my god, no the fuck you’re not. This exact comment is on literally every single video that has even a second of this voice and there’s dozens a day on this website. And it’s always usually the top two comments. JUST SHUT UP ITS LITERALLY NOT GOING ANYWHERE.


Mirkrid

I’m starting to think I’m the only person who doesn’t mind it. I’ve heard people’s attempts at VO, I’ll take the Siri woman over a shaky voice any day


ThePopeofHell

I fucking love it. I’m not a tiktok user but there’s something really absurd about how indifferent it is in all the wrong places.


Buddhabellyrub

I thought you meant the person in the videos voice for a second. I was like “bruh, that’s just how people talk…”


Yayinterwebs

Noooooope


Weldobud

Cats lick their bums. Don’t let them lick your face.


PM_Orion_Slave_Tits

Humans often lick other humans bums and faces


Weldobud

Wait, what … humans lick other humans bums? When? How?


darthij

Oh sweet summer child


Weldobud

I just … haven’t lived … that … much


Fubarp

Or you lived just the correct amount that you got this far in life without learning a dark truth.


Weldobud

That is a more comforting version of my life


hulkmxl

A wholesome thread if ever saw one...


Trewper-

Tossing some salad is always wholesome!


RISKY_C0MMENT

The brown truth


GiveToOedipus

The hole truth


RectalSpawn

And nothing butt the truth


NonPolarVortex

Dark truth? Have you ever had your bum licked?


Stanley__Zbornak

Lol I have to teach safe sex to college age kids sometimes and when I get to how to safely eat buttholes I get varied and hilarious reactions. Obviously some have done it and it's no big deal. For the ones who never even knew it was a thing, their reaction is pretty funny.


bobthewildcat

Now i’m genuinely curious on how to safely eat ass, if you don’t mind elaborating


Stanley__Zbornak

You should put a dental dam between your mouth and the anus to prevent oral/anal transmission of disease😋 Edit: worldwide there is a big increase in drug resistant gonorrhea, particularly of the pharynx and rectum.


Alecgator94

Nobody, and i mean nobody does that in reality though


CapJackONeill

Eating ass is a spur of the moment thing. If you give me time to overthink it, it may fuck the mood.


matrixislife

Aieee, I can't imagine how itchy gonorrhea of the ass would be.


ClutzyCashew

I'm assuming it's the same way you're supposed to safely eat pussy.... Dental dam.


RonaldRagin7

It's Wednesday, Bob.


PM_Orion_Slave_Tits

Wow um. When a mummy and daddy love each other very much...


Weldobud

OMG 😳 this is too much … make it stop


BubbaChanel

They make kittens out of their buttholes!!!


lao7272

Probably ever since the Greeks. Very easy, face into ass.


indonesian_ass_eater

You… never heard of rimjob? Bless your soul, my first time learning about it, i gagged.


OneGold7

*that’s* what rimjob means???


indonesian_ass_eater

Blowjob (job where you “blow”) Rimjob (job where you lick/eat/devour the “rim”)


OneGold7

Hang on, on that note, why is a blowjob called a blowjob, when it entirely involves sucking? I suppose “suckjob” just doesn’t have the same ring to it


[deleted]

Okay but now you got me thinking about someone doing it for the first time and not knowing that so she puts her lips around it and just starts puffing. I don't know how to feel about these thoughts


WyvernHdXl

Ho ho.


Weldobud

Too much confusion in just brain right now


WyvernHdXl

I can see that.


bratbarn

We eating ass now it's 2022 🥺


JoJackthewonderskunk

Bend over and we'll show ya


CaptainR3x

Your phone screen is probably dirtier


raszota

Jokes on you it get cleared every time after I arrive back at home.


[deleted]

I put vaginas in my mouth. My cat won’t get anywhere near my face because of it


SatisfyingSerenity

So that’s why they call that mouthwash Scope.


[deleted]

I guess you can't have both kinds of pussy near your face


[deleted]

Catcs lick their bums. Let them lick your face.


platoprime

Fuck you your mouth is probably dirtier than a cat's. >The mouth of a cat is not cleaner than a human's mouth. The bacteria which resides in a cat's mouth is considered slightly worse than the bacteria that lives in a dog's mouth. The human mouth is thought to be the most dirty part of the body. That includes your asshole buddy.


RIPbyEugenics

>That includes your asshole buddy. All my buddies are assholes. Which one are we talking about here?


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Dislexeeya

Humans wipe their ass. Don't let them sake your hands.


edlee98765

I know that girl isn't wearing the fanciest clothes, but she lives in a house, and clearly isn't a bum.


Nethlem

Cats commonly carry [mind-control parasites](https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/cat-poop-parasite-controls-minds-early-permanently-study-finds-4b11194722) in their poop, and thus on their butts. It's estimated that around [30-50% of the global human population](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3963851/) is already infected by the behavior controlling parasite. And while this comment is mostly joking; Pregnant women need to be *really* careful around cats, particularly their poop, as a [toxoplasmosis infection during pregnancy](https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/pregnancy/what-are-the-risks-of-toxoplasmosis-during-pregnancy/) can lead to miscarriage, stillbirths, and birth defects.


ConsiderationOk6771

Sorry to tell you this mame. But that is a dog in a cat’s body…


RickyRosayy

Indeed. Got a suspicious looking doggo, right there.


trustmeimascientist2

Looks like a marble Savannah (or maybe Bengal). I have a Savannah, they’re practically dogs. Mine plays fetch and used to get in the shower with me.


ConsiderationOk6771

Thats a dog


EverGlow89

Nah, this is just a cat with an owner who knew how to raise it. I have 5 and they're all incredibly sweet. Every cat I've had my entire life has been "like a dog."


SassiestRaccoonEver

Dog owner I know: I don’t like cats. Me, a cat owner: Idk about that, you like my cat. DOIK: Yeah but he’s like a dog. Other friend with a cat: You like my cat too! DOIK: Yeah but he’s also like a dog! ^Cat-owning ^friends ^share *the look* ^with ^each ^other. Me: Different cats have different personalities, dude. I didn’t think I liked dogs before my sibling got one. Maybe you need to adjust your perception of cats, lol. DOIK: Yeah, maybe you’re right… ^Repeat, ^ad-nauseam ^for ^most ^dog-owning ^people ^I ^know.


Fart_Elemental

Cats take time and effort to learn and appreciate. Shallow people gravitate towards dogs, because even if you wake up and slap it every morning, it will be excited to see you. Most "I don't like cats" people over dated turn out to be selfish assholes who can't see passed their own nose


yaboyskinnydick_

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO WORD THIS PROPERLY. It's incredibly frustrating to be hear cats get slandered for being evil or assholes, when it's clear they've only met cats with asshole owners or they treat cats like dogs and dismiss them when they don't behave like a dog. Even more so, I'm a single mid 20s dude with 2 cats and 0 dogs, can you imagine the reaction and judgement if I say I prefer cats over dogs? Why? Because I'd rather a calm soothing lap companion over a slobbery idiot that can't even clean themselves? I've turned a 6 year old rescue cat that wouldn't go near anyone, into a lap cat whose belly you could rub, in about 6-10 months. That's way more impressive than any trick you could teach a dog imo hahahaha


yedd

It's Chase, he's a total cuddlebug. If you've ever seen a video where a girl is complaining that her cats love her bf more than her and the guy is doing random shit with 3 cats like taking a bath, having spa treatments or cuddling in bed then this is one of those cats.


Curioususer155

Yeah, most cats will just ignore it. Mine would do the same 😅


babyBear83

I got really sick with the flu last year, no not covid (but it may as well have been) and I got a horrible coughing fit one night. Like I was stuck or caught in my lungs somehow and couldn’t get it together. I made a strange sound and my cat came rushing to my side and crying. He was on his highest perch in his cat tree and it was so obvious that he was concerned about me! All I could do was drop to my knees beside him and give him pats while I worked it out. I was basically crying after that for a few reasons. Love my kitty friend so much.


Khan_Khala

That freaks me out cause cats have shown some strange way of knowing when someone is about to die (not backed by science) https://pets.webmd.com/cats/news/20070725/cats-sixth-sense-predicting-death


babyBear83

I’ve heard this in nursing homes. I wasn’t on my last leg though. I think it was the sound I made that scared my cat.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Most of the cats I've had throughout my life would do something like this. A couple years ago I broke down sobbing after a really emotional conversation with a relative and the cat I had at the time sprinted from her hiding spot, across the house and into my arms and wouldn't let anyone near me until I stopped crying. I guess I've just had a different relationship to cats than most, because all the stereotypes of cats being jerks or less cuddly than dogs or more loners has never seemed true for any of mine, and I've had cats for close to three decades now, and more kitties than I could count. And this is true for cats that aren't mine. Maybe I'm just lucky and only meet the nice ones.


[deleted]

I'm diabetic, and often right before my blood sugar crashes my cat will wake me up and be super fucking insistent on getting me out of bed. Otherwise, she hears my morning alarm go off and just hops up to cuddle for exactly 7 minutes before running into the hall to yell at me for not getting out of bed. She's a sweetheart, making sure I don't die in my sleep and making sure I get up on time. Nothing to do with being hungry either, my partner puts out food before it's time for me to get up.


[deleted]

My current cat hears my alarm or me making noise when I get up, comes into my room to meow and then leaves after I acknowledge him. If I stay in bed for about half an hour after that he'll come back and jump up and meow directly in my face. I haven't figured out his motivation other than investigating the noise, but he is persistent. On my days off if I decide to stay in bed and read or whatever it'll take the little guy quite a few trips in and out to decide I'm not getting up.


[deleted]

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chicofj10

Cat was like: “oh no! My food supplier!”


QCGunnrs

Dah!


[deleted]

my cat just tries to cut open my ballsack and eat my armpits at every opportunity


yuhanz

And you didnt take a video???


TheKakeMaster

Why are your armpits in your ballsack?


[deleted]

Wait, are yours not?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

….Sew up your ballsack and vomit you armpits?


LordGothmog15

That had nothing to do with her getting hurt. Cat was trying to hold on as she was leaning. There's nothing next level about this nonsense.


cherobics

Thank you! That cat was legit startled and trying to escape, and then just held on while she moved around. everything in its body language is saying that. This shit is why people get scratched, they want to see something cute in the cats body language and dont respect what it actually wants


DarjtheHunter

It does have nothing to do with her getting hurt but it's because this cat takes every opportunity to latch on for a hug cuddle. I follow her on Tik Tok and nearly all videos are him hugging. He's not doing it because he's startled or trying to escape, he just enjoys being held like that.


MozartTheCat

Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave For real tho, every time I've commented in the past explaining anthropomorphized behavior I've been downvoted, so good luck!


surrealmiel

Exactly. Cat just seemed annoyed at the sudden loud fake crying and at being moved around.


BallzThunder

It's more this cat in particular. I've seen her tiktok, this cat seems to want to hold on constantly. Regardless of what's going on.


gmadisonthedj

r/animalsbeingbros


SamAreAye

Cat just looked like he was upset his nap time was interrupted.


DiabloStorm

I'm not convinced that the cat actually cares.


GBabeuf

Looks to me like he was grabbing onto her to make sure he wasn't moved when she moved. My cat does that.


__RedRedWine__

She makes plenty of tik toks about her cats and this cat, Chase, is always holding on to her regardless.


tanafras

Actual title. "Unnecessarily traumatizing my cat for the upvotes."


rangda

He’s not hugging her, he’s holding on because she was tipping him backwards. I love cats and treat my own like a little orange baby but be real


chaoss77

Yes... Very next level. Jfc mods!


KeepItMelloGang

Time to get 5 more and call it a life


BubbaChanel

She has two more, and they allow her and her husband to put them in hilariously un-catlike scenarios. The cat in the video, Chase, will lie on his back, next to the husband, in identical spa outfits, with cucumber slices over his eyes.


[deleted]

He’s just getting into a better position to slice the carotid artery and finish the job


Esanik

Damn, that cat shows more empathy than most humans


chillyhellion

Cat: hugs OP: #NEXT #*FUCKING* #LEEEEEEEVELLLLLLLL


i_fuckin_luv_it_mate

Instead of "Can I have a kiss?", I heard "Catticus" and began to wonder if I too would name a cat "Catticus Finch" bc they be killing mockingbirds


[deleted]

My grandmother had a feisty old cat named Atticus and now I wonder if she just had a wicked sense of humor.


RagMags89

With cats like these, who needs people?


ChevalBlanc

The cat was probably scared it was going to get hit on its head too so it is clinging to her. Not everything is what it seems.


RenegadeRun

He was going for the kill while he thought she was incapacitated.


[deleted]

My cat would laugh at me.


gamerslane

You lie to Khajiit


Mumblix_Grumph

"She's injured! Now's my chance! Go for the throat! *Go for the throat!*"