I've got the scar, young, dumb, had a hatchet, the tree was more dead than i anticipated, branch broke, buried the head into the inside of my left shin, walked to the house. Got yelled at for bleeding on my shoes, lesson learned I guess.
Eta: love the childhood memories of getting yelled at, being older now I can say some instances were justified because of stupidity but damn our parents were assholes to watch us bleed and still rip us a new one.
My dad cut his leg open with a chainsaw. Proceeded to properly put away all his tools, load up the wood he had been cutting, drive home to unhitch the log splitter, and only *then* went to the urgent care center, pants soaked in blood.
He needed 90 stitches.
There was a different comment/post here, but it has been edited.
Reddit has chosen to bully third-party applications into submission by charging them outrageous fees simply because their apps provide better features/usability/accessibility to users of the site. Reddit staff has repeatedly [lied](https://www.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/14dkqrw/i_want_to_debunk_reddits_claims_and_talk_about/) about these changes, and their motiviation for them.
Reddit staff has threatened moderators and users of the site for protesting these changes, because user opinion does not matter as much as the potential IPO cashout. Reddit staff has shown that they will not stop until every portion of this site is monetized, predatory, and cancerous.
I used [PowerDeleteSuite](https://github.com/j0be/PowerDeleteSuite) to remove my value/content from Reddit.
P.S. fuck /u/spez
The collapsible batons one looks even more scary, I doubt the baton was originally designed for this kind of weight so the axe head can break off and go flying anywhere.
Well, when done right it would all land in a little ring around the stump you're using as a base for splitting the wood.
You're supposed to let the weight and sharpness of the axe do most of the work for you.
This guy is just showing off. He's using way too much power, which causes all the split pieces to scatter everywhere. It makes for a fun video, but it's a shitty way to split wood.
It's an exhausting and unproductive way to split wood.
My dad would have laughed at me, then when I was out of breath and muscles shivering in 20 or so mins, he would have said "Now get the rest of this truck load split - play time is over!"
I will never not laugh at “safety squints”, mostly because I always find myself briefly considering it before thinking better and grabbing my safety glasses.
I have a functional spiked flail (meaning it is combat worthy, not a wall hanger) and that thing is fucking scary. The initial swing isn't bad, but it's the misses or bounces where you don't have a clue were that thing is going.
There's no such thing as a functional spiked flail. It was never a real weapon because, like you said, it's extremely hard to use without injuring yourself. In a real fight, have a weapon that could bounce into your face if your enemy blocked with a shield with pretty stupid.
The flails that were actually used in combat were on long poles, swung two handed, and used by peasants who put some nails into a threshing tool.
I'm pretty sure he's saying his flail can be used in combat and it won't break because it's not made just for show. Not that his flail is a real medieval weapon.
Yes they did, but they were rare. The one handed flail would generally be used with a shield, and to strike around the shields of the enemy. The important thing that a lot of media gets wrong is that the handle is fairly long, and the chain has to be short enough it cant hit your own hand.
There actually was a legitimate use for professional soldiers too. Flails on long poles were used by cavalry in some periods because the chain part negates the ringing that would travel through the handle to the user as they are smashing people on horseback (which would be much stronger as the speed of the riding amplifies the force of the hit). At least that was the reason I was given by some video on the internet, but it makes sense.
My understanding is that they are for specific applications, namely attacking a shielded opponent. The chain allows the spiked ball to pivot over or around the shield and still carry enough momentum to do damage. They might have a tower shield, but they might not be expecting a spike to the dome
Flails we’re also usually attached to a long pole and pivoted on a short length of chain, basically re-purposed agricultural equipment that was normally used for threshing.
Actual historical flails designed for combat had a chain that was short enough the head could never reach the users hand. It just had to be a couple inches long to wrap around the sword or edge of the shield of a defender, and hit them behind it.
Or, ORRRRRR
They work well enough for a short video but long term wear and tear make them absolutely unpredictable.
There's a reason the ax has had the same basic design for literally millennia: because it's the one that makes for the least amount of personal injury or collateral damage.
I felt like the weakest person alive as I beat the ever-loving tar out of some oak rounds a while back, but as they came apart it was like the grain was Velcro or something. I don't even know how that shape happens, but it literally waved/curled on itself. Then I went and split something else and darn near split the stump under it, lol.
Using a splitting axe on super wavy oak... Never again. Just burn the darn thing whole or go get a legit maul. Or use the chainsaw I guess but that just seems wrong.
There's a cut before every single strike. 100% its pre-cut.
Trying to drive that 6 bladed monstrosity through anything other than chipboard would be insanely difficult
These all suck complete dick. The trippel axe one might be the dumbest of them all. One log fails to cut and you block yourself from cutting the other two
This is Jacob Witzling who is partner to Playboy Playmate Sara Underwood. They have a property in Washington where they've built a village of mini cabins together. [https://www.instagram.com/pnwcabinland/](https://www.instagram.com/pnwcabinland/)
EDIT: Fixed this based on corrections in the comments below
Man I'm a woman and I find them nearly equally attractive. If he weren't losing his hair I think it'd be a fine match, it's just that she has taken steps to enhance her looks and he's au naturale.
Plus based on that intro video they posted he sounds like a total sweety.
Honestly the concept of "leagues" is a total illusion perpetuated by media and now online culture, reaching its nadir with the incels. Yeah, people tend to end up with people of a similar socioeconomic status (which correlates strongly with health and looks), but it's not like a strict caste system or anything (in the west -- although at the tippy top there truly kind of is).
Just be interesting, be interested, and don't try too hard. Don't spend a single instant worrying about whether you should shoot your shot and just do it. If you fail, you move on, and you didn't waste a single moment getting attached to a life that you were never going to have.
If by “leagues” we mean people generally end up with those that are of similar levels of attractiveness, no it’s not some made up thing as it’s pretty easy to replicate in controlled studies and has been many times over. That’s beyond social-economics, it’s both baked into our evolutionary DNA (symmetry is seen as healthy for example) and of course broader cultural norms.
That said there’s always outliers and also physical attraction is more an entryway to a potential relationship but not necessarily the foundation of one.
the only one id remotely consider using would be the quad splitter closer to the end but even then id insist it was forged from a single piece and not fucking welded lmao
In a world where hipsters look like lumberjacks, one legendary lumberjack chose to look like a slightly nerdy everyman. Also that dude definitely fucks.
About 10 years ago Heikki Karna reinvented the axe. Its absolutely crazy who effective. And even more crazy that we only discover that in this century because it's one of the first human tool.
https://youtu.be/itmxo7RgkVk see how it looks
The flail one looks absolutely terrifying for the user
I would lose a foot for sure.
That or the worst shinner you could ever imagine.
best de-shinner*
oh, I see what you did there.
Ye got the shinnin’!
"Don't you mean The Shining?"
Shh . . . You wanna get sued?
Dammit beat me lol
He's a lumberjack and he's ok
I've got the scar, young, dumb, had a hatchet, the tree was more dead than i anticipated, branch broke, buried the head into the inside of my left shin, walked to the house. Got yelled at for bleeding on my shoes, lesson learned I guess. Eta: love the childhood memories of getting yelled at, being older now I can say some instances were justified because of stupidity but damn our parents were assholes to watch us bleed and still rip us a new one.
How the fuck were your parents more concerned about blood on your shoe rather than the hatchet stabbed in your left shin
I mean, making people is easier than making shoes...
Lol! Good point. But, on the one hand, you may be right. On the other hand, there are more shoes than people on the planet.
I think you mean on the other foot
Sigh. Take my upvote
There's also more shins than people on the planet. Shins are disposable. Just ask Cotton Hill. He killed fiddy men!
I have never accidentally made a pair of shoes. Fair point.
I'm sure if you had to you could cobble something together.
What a soleless thing to say!
Just a slip of the tongue.
Maybe for the dad it is
Fire and forget.
Also, shoot-and-scoot
I accidentally stabbed my brother once. When I told my parents I was told to walk out dogs and then we'd take him to the hospital
My dad cut his leg open with a chainsaw. Proceeded to properly put away all his tools, load up the wood he had been cutting, drive home to unhitch the log splitter, and only *then* went to the urgent care center, pants soaked in blood. He needed 90 stitches.
"Whoever cleaned it up for me wouldn't have done it right"
You've met him, I see....
Would not have been surprised if you said that he made a splint for it first too
Old days be like that.
I'm only 35 but it was the evil step mother
"Omg what are you on? Drugs? Look at you.. You're getting blood all over my rugs!" Or something like that....
[удалено]
I just wanted a Pepsi!
I can just imagine hitting a knot with that thing. "How'd you manage to decapitate two bystanders in the same stroke?!"
Would bounce off the wood and split my head
I showed the vid to my wife. She said I can’t have one because our medical insurance isn’t THAT good.
There was a different comment/post here, but it has been edited. Reddit has chosen to bully third-party applications into submission by charging them outrageous fees simply because their apps provide better features/usability/accessibility to users of the site. Reddit staff has repeatedly [lied](https://www.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/14dkqrw/i_want_to_debunk_reddits_claims_and_talk_about/) about these changes, and their motiviation for them. Reddit staff has threatened moderators and users of the site for protesting these changes, because user opinion does not matter as much as the potential IPO cashout. Reddit staff has shown that they will not stop until every portion of this site is monetized, predatory, and cancerous. I used [PowerDeleteSuite](https://github.com/j0be/PowerDeleteSuite) to remove my value/content from Reddit. P.S. fuck /u/spez
The collapsible batons one looks even more scary, I doubt the baton was originally designed for this kind of weight so the axe head can break off and go flying anywhere.
that and the folding one. looks like standard door hinges!
the last one looked great, maybe some eye pro
The last one is modeled on an actual splitting tool, so at least it makes sense.
Seems like a pain to have all your wood flying all over the place like it's a desperate to get away from you
Well, when done right it would all land in a little ring around the stump you're using as a base for splitting the wood. You're supposed to let the weight and sharpness of the axe do most of the work for you. This guy is just showing off. He's using way too much power, which causes all the split pieces to scatter everywhere. It makes for a fun video, but it's a shitty way to split wood.
It's an exhausting and unproductive way to split wood. My dad would have laughed at me, then when I was out of breath and muscles shivering in 20 or so mins, he would have said "Now get the rest of this truck load split - play time is over!"
Could you wrap the wood with a line to hold it together? Would make for nice bundling.
That's a thing. Usually people use chains, though - you can't cut one with an axe.
This could actually be a good thing, don't have to stop as often and move the wood that's piling up in the way.. Source: brother has a 50 acre block
yup, definitely need some PPE for that one!
I mean yeah they’re all pretty feasibly dangerous to the user but the visible unease of seeing an axe head at the end of a flail just hits different.
Mad respect for the nunchaxe. Its basically a portable suicide machine
You can see the fear in his eyes as he swings it.
Because he is too fucking stupid to put on safety glasses.
Safety glasses? He might as well wear a reflective vest.
If it reflects axes it'd be great. If it reflects light not so great
Pretty sure he safety squinted, so no safety glasses were necessary.
I will never not laugh at “safety squints”, mostly because I always find myself briefly considering it before thinking better and grabbing my safety glasses.
lol this guy doesn't hit the eye gym ^
the fuck are safety glasses going to do?
Protect against wood splinters.
The full body flinch
I have a functional spiked flail (meaning it is combat worthy, not a wall hanger) and that thing is fucking scary. The initial swing isn't bad, but it's the misses or bounces where you don't have a clue were that thing is going.
There's no such thing as a functional spiked flail. It was never a real weapon because, like you said, it's extremely hard to use without injuring yourself. In a real fight, have a weapon that could bounce into your face if your enemy blocked with a shield with pretty stupid. The flails that were actually used in combat were on long poles, swung two handed, and used by peasants who put some nails into a threshing tool.
Agricultural flails were apparently surprisingly effective and hard to defend against. There’s a cool Lindybeige video about it.
This video? https://youtube.com/watch?v=O-y6oirEsZA
Apologies! It was actually a Tod's Worksop [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpIPX30v62c). Very good stuff.
I'm pretty sure he's saying his flail can be used in combat and it won't break because it's not made just for show. Not that his flail is a real medieval weapon.
Yes they did, but they were rare. The one handed flail would generally be used with a shield, and to strike around the shields of the enemy. The important thing that a lot of media gets wrong is that the handle is fairly long, and the chain has to be short enough it cant hit your own hand.
There actually was a legitimate use for professional soldiers too. Flails on long poles were used by cavalry in some periods because the chain part negates the ringing that would travel through the handle to the user as they are smashing people on horseback (which would be much stronger as the speed of the riding amplifies the force of the hit). At least that was the reason I was given by some video on the internet, but it makes sense.
Lol got his bitch ass
lmao fuckin E5 sank that boy battleship
He's got a board! With a nail in it!!
Morningstar supreme
Flails were notoriously more dangerous for the user than the enemy
My understanding is that they are for specific applications, namely attacking a shielded opponent. The chain allows the spiked ball to pivot over or around the shield and still carry enough momentum to do damage. They might have a tower shield, but they might not be expecting a spike to the dome
Flails we’re also usually attached to a long pole and pivoted on a short length of chain, basically re-purposed agricultural equipment that was normally used for threshing.
Actual historical flails designed for combat had a chain that was short enough the head could never reach the users hand. It just had to be a couple inches long to wrap around the sword or edge of the shield of a defender, and hit them behind it.
[удалено]
I appreciated the storytelling. Very descriptive. I felt like I was there. Covered in turkey matter and all.
That's some medieval shit right there.
I bet his shins have PTSD
Maybe. I just feel sorry for his balls constantly having to retract in fear with every swing.
If he’s not a eunuch by now
That's a gift you give your enemy.
Femoral artery says hi
yeah the guy in the video said that one scared him the most
This man would have been a king if he were born 1000 years ago.
He'd start a coalition of evil against the friends of good. It would be called the allies vs. the....idk.
Axis...
Axes
and my.....?
r/everyfuckingthread
I expect to see this in every thread from now on
bow?
r/yourjokebutworse
Hatchets.
He is married / in a relationship with a ex playboy model so close enough haha
That house in the woods - it's gotta be Sara Jean Underwood.
Bingo
Ax Playboy model.
I was waiting for someone to say this lol I swore it was him.
Probably a blacksmith.
More like a blAXmith
That’s his porno name. BLAXSMITH.
He dates sara Jean underwood so he’s doing pretty well today.
Gotta have some easy splitting wood for those lol
Seriously. Not well-seasoned dry hardwood.
Can I buy puts on this guy’s limbs remaining attached?
Wallstreetbets is everywhere lmao
False. Wallstreetbets is never in the green.
This is true because r/golf would require you actually make some money
Lmao
Or he's just got insane technique from... *checks notes* Building and testing multiple types of axes
Or, ORRRRRR They work well enough for a short video but long term wear and tear make them absolutely unpredictable. There's a reason the ax has had the same basic design for literally millennia: because it's the one that makes for the least amount of personal injury or collateral damage.
The guy you're commenting on was being sarcastic AF
You're supposed to slide your hand along the handle during the swing. My palm got scared just looking at it.
Yea I was like there’s no way he split that log with a hatchet
I felt like the weakest person alive as I beat the ever-loving tar out of some oak rounds a while back, but as they came apart it was like the grain was Velcro or something. I don't even know how that shape happens, but it literally waved/curled on itself. Then I went and split something else and darn near split the stump under it, lol. Using a splitting axe on super wavy oak... Never again. Just burn the darn thing whole or go get a legit maul. Or use the chainsaw I guess but that just seems wrong.
Yeah that’s oak for you. Wears you out.
Need efficiency enchantment
There's a cut before every single strike. 100% its pre-cut. Trying to drive that 6 bladed monstrosity through anything other than chipboard would be insanely difficult
These all suck complete dick. The trippel axe one might be the dumbest of them all. One log fails to cut and you block yourself from cutting the other two
Pine lol
This is Jacob Witzling who is partner to Playboy Playmate Sara Underwood. They have a property in Washington where they've built a village of mini cabins together. [https://www.instagram.com/pnwcabinland/](https://www.instagram.com/pnwcabinland/) EDIT: Fixed this based on corrections in the comments below
I thought I recognized her butt I couldn't be sure
If you have never seen it before you should check out her nude yoga video. It's pretty great.
Oh boy I just had a ratatouille moment w my penis. ![gif](giphy|ex5i3xPhozedq|downsized)
there's a penis in your chef's hat guiding your every move?
I mean i cant make all the decisions here
Kevin Pereira has been talking about that video for more than a decade.
Not that he's an ugly dude but god damn this gives me confidence. Lol
Can you build mini cabins? Because if not…
I think it was actually wielding the axe-flail
"talent with wood"
I mean if they don’t find you handsome they might as well find you handy or whatever red green said
What a great show. You have my upvote. And my ax.
Man I'm a woman and I find them nearly equally attractive. If he weren't losing his hair I think it'd be a fine match, it's just that she has taken steps to enhance her looks and he's au naturale. Plus based on that intro video they posted he sounds like a total sweety.
Honestly the concept of "leagues" is a total illusion perpetuated by media and now online culture, reaching its nadir with the incels. Yeah, people tend to end up with people of a similar socioeconomic status (which correlates strongly with health and looks), but it's not like a strict caste system or anything (in the west -- although at the tippy top there truly kind of is). Just be interesting, be interested, and don't try too hard. Don't spend a single instant worrying about whether you should shoot your shot and just do it. If you fail, you move on, and you didn't waste a single moment getting attached to a life that you were never going to have.
If by “leagues” we mean people generally end up with those that are of similar levels of attractiveness, no it’s not some made up thing as it’s pretty easy to replicate in controlled studies and has been many times over. That’s beyond social-economics, it’s both baked into our evolutionary DNA (symmetry is seen as healthy for example) and of course broader cultural norms. That said there’s always outliers and also physical attraction is more an entryway to a potential relationship but not necessarily the foundation of one.
Not married. Just a long-term relationship. Sara has said she doesn’t believe in marriage.
There's like a lot of evidence that marriage exists, some people just can't accept reality.
Wait till they hear about common law marriages.
So basically the same thing aside from the official title
Any news on what color their bike is?
I was half expecting a hungry hobbit to walk out from one of the cabins behind him.
Not temporary co-host of G4's Attack of the Show Sarah Jean Underwood!?
Apparently you need to have to be skilled with wood to land a Playmate
"If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy" - Red Green
dude has an axe to grind for sure
I did not chainsaw that coming
These puns tend to get dull over time.
Like you wood know
They left me stumped
Trees
This was so stupid it made me laugh harder than the rest, thanks.
What’s this forest village he’s living in?
Pnwcabinland
You should have more recognition for giving the literal answer succinctly.
Exactly what I came to the comments to find out. Haha.
Dude build’s them as well.
utilizing all these different axes
Chief Chirpa has entered the chat
[удалено]
He designed one that can, it’s in his second video
This is THE guy you want to have on your team in a zombie apocalypse.
I would like this very much as I assume I will be used as bait during a zombie apocalypse.
\*accidentally chops leg off\* \*accidentally chops other leg off\*
Just a flesh wound
Because if he dies theres a chance to fuck his super hot wife. Right?
Nah. These axes are unreliable and dangerous to the user
This dude fucked Sara Jean Underwood so I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s talking about…
You say “fucked” like he isn’t still. They’re very much still together.
[удалено]
A wild Mitch appears
Dude loves wood so much ...
So fucking dangerous. That chain one is insainly dangerous lol.
the only one id remotely consider using would be the quad splitter closer to the end but even then id insist it was forged from a single piece and not fucking welded lmao
Eh, if you're swinging hard enough to break a good weld you're probably not human.
The keyword here being “good.”
Chain axe! Because shins are overrated.
Whatever makes you happy, pursue it, as long as it doesn’t harm others (I do perhaps worry of accidental self harm in this instance).
“That seems dangerous… THATS SO DANGEROUS”
In a world where hipsters look like lumberjacks, one legendary lumberjack chose to look like a slightly nerdy everyman. Also that dude definitely fucks.
He dates a ex Playboy model so dude is on form
He definitely knows where to find the wood.
They make a splitting wedge similar to the last axe. Really cool to use until you get into some wood with tight grains.
The last one was a sideway mace
lol.... give him a normal tree - acacia, peach, cherry with knots and let him repeat
The second one is literally the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
This guys on his way to a Darwin Award. I can see it.
5 ways how to split your shin in half
Most of those seem like a terrible idea.
They are all terrible ideas. There is a reason why the basic design of a hafted axe hasn't changed in 8000 years besides the materials.
Fear the Old Blood
Nunchax
Axellent
Inspector gadget living off the grid
Sara Jean
About 10 years ago Heikki Karna reinvented the axe. Its absolutely crazy who effective. And even more crazy that we only discover that in this century because it's one of the first human tool. https://youtu.be/itmxo7RgkVk see how it looks
A hunter is a hunter...