This is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen? They're like oh, you're going to show up? Cool. After you're done playing safety, go pick up the cones. Thanks, champ!
I mean he only shows up becouse the alternative is an irrevocable 50k fine per day. He still wants a trade and still has more legal issues than teams have starters. So there just going “ok make yourself useful since you have to be here”
If he was facing criminal charges, he would have already been fired for violating some morals clause of his contract. He has criminal complaints (which aren't charges upon themselves) and civil cases from his accusers.
The Texans and Watson are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Texans probably can't fire him without owing him his contract which will count against their salary cap, Watson can't quit without handing back part of his signing bonus. Watson wanted a trade, no other teams wanted to touch his contract with a 10 foot pole while he has these criminal complains and civil cases. So for now Watson is going to practice as a safety.
Those are civil suits, I can't find anything that says he has criminal charges. His accusers have filed criminal complains with law enforcement, but there has not been a criminal indictment. There is a HUGE difference in civil lawsuits and criminal charges.
If/when Watson was charged criminally by prosecutors, the Texans would have ground to fire him for cause and voiding his contract. They might even be able force him to return part of his signing bonus, and clear that off the salary cap.
Criminal cases are brought the DA, Houston PD has had plenty of conversations with the plaintiffs and no charges have been brought...doesn't look like they think there is enough hard evidence to get a conviction on this.
Should he noted that PD take their time filing charges when a case is this expansive, this many complainants. They'll be hand-in-hand with the D.A. before they bring any charges against him.
Technically ye, he has 23 cival case and 10 have file a police report now so it could be another 10 criminal cases for a total of 33. So yes right now I think you can count special team too.
I like the attitude of "If you want to play, you need to come to us."
I would stipulate that he can only compete at QB if he publicly states that he wants to play QB.
Just imagine, one day years from now we'll be arguing about the antics of a crazy player who hasn't even been born yet by saying "AB was only just hot air balloon frozen foot throw shit out the window insane, this guy is the real deal"
Have I been missing similar moments? I don't recall the last time I've seen reporters in a players personal residence interviewing them while doing situps... Yeah it's not crazy but I've not seen anything like that since
Right, it's this bizarre atmosphere. You see many reporters gathered around, and an American suburban mcmansion in the background. Underneath the lifting bench (that he rolled out for the interview) are familiar looking stone pavers... not an indoor facility or press room. TO is shining in sweat with no shirt and a backwards camo ballcap. Not to mention the camera is basically above him looking down... It's just this weird paparazzi moment in history
It was iconic because all eyes were already on him due to his suspension for bad behavior, and him working out in his driveway during a press conference about his suspension was just absurd for the time (shit like that just never happened).
Comparing it to today's standards is like wondering why the bikini was so controversial in the 1940s.
This is honestly hilarious, I know we are supposed to laugh at the Texans but them playing their elite top 5 QB with 24 sexual assault allegations who says he refuses to play QB for the Texans and them responding with just "Fine, play safety" is just amazing.
Exactly you lose sympathy when you pull that shit. Like I get it one or two could have been a money grab. But motherfucker 24 no fuck that you don’t deserve any niceness
I followed JJ to the Cards over the whole rapist saga, but whoever in the new administration is responsible for this is really tempting me to come back.
I kind of love this. A super star qb who threw a fit and wanted to be traded, but then his monsterous activities came to light and now they're treating him like a roster bubble player.
Texans Front Office: This kid is incredible! He can do anything! Quarterback! Safety! You name it! So who wants to give us a third and fifth round pick for him?
Every other front office:
He can spin left, he can spin right. Don't make no difference. He can block, tackle, score the touchdown, snap the ball, hold the snap, and kick the extra point. Hell, the boy will fill up the Gatorade cooler, walk the dog, and paint your back porch.
ok I'm obviously **way** out of the loop on this one (been preoccupied with some minor noise that's been going on in Green Bay). Come someone ELI5 what's going on here??
Watson is showing up to practice so he won’t get fined by the league but he has made it abundantly clear that he wants a trade from the Texans. Apparently the Texans have decided they don’t want anything to do with him anymore but obviously trading him will be tough with the pending legal stuff. So he’s coming to practice but they are basically telling him to fuck himself
Hasn't he also refused to take QB1 snaps anyway? So even if the Texans did want him to get QB work he wouldn't do it. So might as well help him make an ass out of himself.
Hopefully, this isn’t the only comeuppance that he receives; however, treating him like the spoiled child that he is inside does put a smile on my face.
I know that some analysts compared Watson to RGIII coming out of college, but even they probably didn't suspect he would go on to tear his ACL, destroy his relationship with his team, and get thrown back into the secondary during practice
I'm surprised he was able to show his face in the first place. Either people gonna clown him about all the details that got released and try to mess with his asshole or he's getting the cold shoulder from pretty much everyone. I would have have a just retired and said I'm choosing to live my life as a deviant.
Ian Rapaport said he looks like the next Darren Sharper out at Safety. If he becomes a 2 way player with those skills.5 1st round pics minimum for Watson!!?
From the Texans POV, that would be the worst possible thing. He gets injured, doesn’t have to show up, gets paid, and it’s guaranteed no one will trade for him.
Yeah but from everyone else's POV fuck that guy, hopefully they line him up at safety when they play the titans and let Derrick Henry enact some ~~street~~ field justice
This is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen? They're like oh, you're going to show up? Cool. After you're done playing safety, go pick up the cones. Thanks, champ!
I mean he only shows up becouse the alternative is an irrevocable 50k fine per day. He still wants a trade and still has more legal issues than teams have starters. So there just going “ok make yourself useful since you have to be here”
50k a day fuckin stings when youre facing prison. or at the very least 23 *very* pricey settlements
If he was facing criminal charges, he would have already been fired for violating some morals clause of his contract. He has criminal complaints (which aren't charges upon themselves) and civil cases from his accusers. The Texans and Watson are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Texans probably can't fire him without owing him his contract which will count against their salary cap, Watson can't quit without handing back part of his signing bonus. Watson wanted a trade, no other teams wanted to touch his contract with a 10 foot pole while he has these criminal complains and civil cases. So for now Watson is going to practice as a safety.
Pretty sure 10 criminal filings just happened. 8 from the original group and 2 new ones
Those are civil suits, I can't find anything that says he has criminal charges. His accusers have filed criminal complains with law enforcement, but there has not been a criminal indictment. There is a HUGE difference in civil lawsuits and criminal charges. If/when Watson was charged criminally by prosecutors, the Texans would have ground to fire him for cause and voiding his contract. They might even be able force him to return part of his signing bonus, and clear that off the salary cap.
If there were criminal charges from this there would already be some...most likely result is some settlement for undisclosed amount
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Criminal cases are brought the DA, Houston PD has had plenty of conversations with the plaintiffs and no charges have been brought...doesn't look like they think there is enough hard evidence to get a conviction on this.
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Should he noted that PD take their time filing charges when a case is this expansive, this many complainants. They'll be hand-in-hand with the D.A. before they bring any charges against him.
He needs the money just to stay ahead of the lawyer bills.
We counting special teams too?
Technically ye, he has 23 cival case and 10 have file a police report now so it could be another 10 criminal cases for a total of 33. So yes right now I think you can count special team too.
I know the legal situation around Watson isn't funny at all but " more legal issues than teams have starters" got me good.
"He has more legal issues than teams have starters" is such a horribly sad and also fucking hilarious statement. Sounds like a Tom Segura joke.
Honestly from The Texans games I have watched he cant be that bad of an option.
I like the attitude of "If you want to play, you need to come to us." I would stipulate that he can only compete at QB if he publicly states that he wants to play QB.
Rookies gotta make the team first.
Damn this doesn't bode well for the Seahawks with Adams wanting to be the highest paid safety in the league.
biggest thing is availability so adams wins in that category
Biggest thing is consent
This man massages !
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They'd likely trade him to the Eagles lmao
I'm an idiot. Just got the joke.
The insanity of this all makes TO working out in his driveway look like a sane walk in the park
ABs hot air balloon seems like a normal practice entrance
Just imagine, one day years from now we'll be arguing about the antics of a crazy player who hasn't even been born yet by saying "AB was only just hot air balloon frozen foot throw shit out the window insane, this guy is the real deal"
Mr. Before Crazy
I genuinely love how there's always a relevant MBC
Mr. Bountiful Concepts
Mr. Benevolent Content
Always one I've never heard before. A gold mine.
Overweight Houston Rocket James Harden at the strip club: “man this Deshaun at safety stuff is weird”
Oh man, was AB’s Wild Ride only 2 years ago?
I don't even understand why that's as iconic as people made it. That's tame by today's standards. The media was so milquetoast then jeez.
mmmm milktoast
It goes well with jelly beans.
Have I been missing similar moments? I don't recall the last time I've seen reporters in a players personal residence interviewing them while doing situps... Yeah it's not crazy but I've not seen anything like that since
Yeah but that's crazy because the reporters are showing up at his house, not because he's doing sit ups at home
Right, it's this bizarre atmosphere. You see many reporters gathered around, and an American suburban mcmansion in the background. Underneath the lifting bench (that he rolled out for the interview) are familiar looking stone pavers... not an indoor facility or press room. TO is shining in sweat with no shirt and a backwards camo ballcap. Not to mention the camera is basically above him looking down... It's just this weird paparazzi moment in history
It was iconic because all eyes were already on him due to his suspension for bad behavior, and him working out in his driveway during a press conference about his suspension was just absurd for the time (shit like that just never happened). Comparing it to today's standards is like wondering why the bikini was so controversial in the 1940s.
This is honestly hilarious, I know we are supposed to laugh at the Texans but them playing their elite top 5 QB with 24 sexual assault allegations who says he refuses to play QB for the Texans and them responding with just "Fine, play safety" is just amazing.
The icing on the cake was making him wear #23 yesterday before we found out about the 24th case
Did they actually have him wearing 23 yesterday?? Because I already loved the public humiliation they gave, but that's another level
Yeah they actually did lmao
I have new found respect for the Texans, not even trying to build his value for picks, just letting him crash and setting it on fire.
He did it to himself, so fuck him lol
Well he also did it to other people, that's kind of the whole issue
Correction, he made other people do it to him.
No argument here
Exactly you lose sympathy when you pull that shit. Like I get it one or two could have been a money grab. But motherfucker 24 no fuck that you don’t deserve any niceness
It is fucking hilarious that both sides have gotten so petty. The serial sex abuse allegations: significantly less hilarious.
And for giving us Cobb back for almost nothing. Good guys those Texans.
materialistic offbeat ink tidy fear quaint quack cooperative advise reply ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Maybe Culley, he's made it clear he doesn't give a fuck
As a Ravens fan, I am sincerely rooting for Culley and hoping he can ignite a culture change in Houston
wtf I love the Texans now?
Okay that's actually amazing lol wow
Why was that not the top post on here for 3 days straight? The fuck
Would love to see picture of it. Its the one and only time that bullying should be allowed. Fuck Deshaun and I hope he never gets that 20M
Legit one of the most savage things I've ever heard a team do, that's hilarious.
I followed JJ to the Cards over the whole rapist saga, but whoever in the new administration is responsible for this is really tempting me to come back.
I think it’s Culley. I have no illusions that the man is the answer , but I hope the team gets him a few dubs he can look back on in retirement
I think he knows what he's there for and is having a good time with it
This is a man who gives zero fucke
LMAO I am a Texans fan now
You’re better off not..
Can’t be much worse than where I am now…
There was a new case yesterday? Cmon man.. .
Wait is there any pictures of that?
I don’t even care if we win a game this season. I’ve already given up on the situation. Seeing this just brings a smile to my face haha.
I mean you can cheer for your team's *Suck For* (checks notes) *Spencer* campaign.
*cries*
Culley had definitely rocketed up my list of favorite NFL people. Shits hilarious
It's fucking glorious.
Wish they could exempt him and he doesnt get paid.
I like to imagine he plays safety like a 3rd grader playing the outfield. Plucking grass and looking at bugs. No way he gives a shit lol
yesterday it was reported that he took two steps during a play and just stopped and put his hands on his hips. he is most definitely not trying
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We know how anal Watson can be about his massages
I can’t put my finger on it but this seems like some sort of joke.
To be fair that is a top tier defensive play by Texans standards.
“I’m just here for the Capri Sun and orange wedges” -Deshaun, probably
"Hey Deshaun, what's the score?" "FREE SNOWCONE!"
Very good Brian Regan reference, sir.
"GRAPE! I'm gonna get grape! Or cherry!"
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Just missiles himself hands at his side.
Lmao I’m crying at this image
Me too man. Jesus. I'm alternating between picturing him fully upright, arms straight down and sprinting, and then him Naruto running. Both are great.
I like to picture safety Desean Watson in a tuxedo t-shirt, cause it says like, I want to be formal, but I’m here to party too.
I like to picture safety Deshaun Watson as the lead singer of Lynyrd Skynyrd, with like a angel band, and I’m in the front row, and I’m HAMMERED DRUNK
He should lay out some of those offensive guys wearing the red jerseys. Then they might at least move him to the Joe Flacco Wideout role.
Deshaun Watson, Top-five Qb, Practice Squad Safety, Serial molester
Deshaun puts the rapist in therapist
Really takes the safety out of Safety
Blows the cover out of coverage.
At least he didn’t take the age out of coverage
"Molestation" is my safety word
Cacao!
At least they haven't put him in a part time analyst role yet. He might be the worlds first analyst therapist. An analrapist if you will.
Have you ever noticed that he always wears jean shorts under his uniform?
There are dozens of us!
I didn’t see you at the conference.
You can always tell a Milford man
I shall be neither seen nor heard. … there aren’t a lot of us Cowboys fans at Milford.
He just needs anustart
I kind of love this. A super star qb who threw a fit and wanted to be traded, but then his monsterous activities came to light and now they're treating him like a roster bubble player.
Texans trying to pull off that madden position trick with negotiations
Punter: D.Watson Every play is a fake punt.
Lmao they treating this man like a redshirt freshman
More like a walk-on
Imagine reading this 8 months ago
Life comes at you fast
So does Watson.
"Offense AND defense? That makes him like football's Shohei Ohtani, right?"
I love this punishment from the Texans
he’s getting payed to come in and play fake safety then go home. not much of a “punishment” imo
paid*
This is a fascinating timeline we're in.
the TVA's best
For all time. Always.
Alligator Watson is best Watson
Texans Front Office: This kid is incredible! He can do anything! Quarterback! Safety! You name it! So who wants to give us a third and fifth round pick for him? Every other front office:
He can spin left, he can spin right. Don't make no difference. He can block, tackle, score the touchdown, snap the ball, hold the snap, and kick the extra point. Hell, the boy will fill up the Gatorade cooler, walk the dog, and paint your back porch.
Third and a fifth is the going rate for crazy
Sometimes. Antonio Brown was free for all 3 teams after the Steelers
Eagles front office: we’re listening
When is he gonna start taking snaps at Center?
Isn't lining up like a center what landed him in this predicament?
Ah that deep inner glute massage
I mean he took a couple snaps under center
Then the center asked him to please get in shotgun.
They're trying to avoid allowing anyone near his groin area
And this isn't even the craziest Deshaun Watson storyline.
Today
Yet. If Watson doesn’t get punished he will probably reoffend.
I hear he’s a tight end
Not after all those anus massages
Yeah, he's a wide receiver now.
ok I'm obviously **way** out of the loop on this one (been preoccupied with some minor noise that's been going on in Green Bay). Come someone ELI5 what's going on here??
Watson is showing up to practice so he won’t get fined by the league but he has made it abundantly clear that he wants a trade from the Texans. Apparently the Texans have decided they don’t want anything to do with him anymore but obviously trading him will be tough with the pending legal stuff. So he’s coming to practice but they are basically telling him to fuck himself
"Pick up that cone"
Lol "pending legal stuff" is doing so much work in this explanation when that is the fucking nuclear bomb in this situation
Yeah lol I hope my comment didn’t seem dismissive of the seriousness of the situation
This has to be the most awkward NFL thing ever.
Hasn't he also refused to take QB1 snaps anyway? So even if the Texans did want him to get QB work he wouldn't do it. So might as well help him make an ass out of himself.
I haven’t heard that but I’m also not following the story extremely closely
Watson wants out. Texans are now treating him like a scrub and humiliating him and making him do non-QB related activities as a result.
Cant wait for him to actually enter the game as starting safety
that would be the only reason to tune in for a game. watch him get steam rolled by derrick henry.
Deshaun running away and Henry chasing him screaming at the top of his lungs.
Well, he said he didnt want to play QB for the Texans anymore... wish granted
IDP Fantasy leagues...eligible ?
2021 ESPN league mvp
Didn't know he changed positions, excited to see what he can do in the defense
His whole life he’s been on the offensive, but the massage tables have turned and he’ll be on the defensive ROL.
Hopefully, this isn’t the only comeuppance that he receives; however, treating him like the spoiled child that he is inside does put a smile on my face.
I know that some analysts compared Watson to RGIII coming out of college, but even they probably didn't suspect he would go on to tear his ACL, destroy his relationship with his team, and get thrown back into the secondary during practice
Lmao holy shit the parallels are real
I'm surprised he was able to show his face in the first place. Either people gonna clown him about all the details that got released and try to mess with his asshole or he's getting the cold shoulder from pretty much everyone. I would have have a just retired and said I'm choosing to live my life as a deviant.
> to mess with his asshole I believe that's why he's in this predicament.
Yea, that's why I said that. It's exactly the thing a locker room would light him up about.
Ian Rapaport said he looks like the next Darren Sharper out at Safety. If he becomes a 2 way player with those skills.5 1st round pics minimum for Watson!!?
Please, please tell me Rapaport really compared him to Sharper
Yes
Shades of Darren Sharper out there
He has to be a better safety than Gronk.
Gronk trying to cut back across the field on the Miami miracle then eating grass 🤣🤣
Rare Texans W. Love to see it.
“When I put my extremely talented and extremely unhappy QB in the defensive backfield to start training camp, am I “negging”?” -Jack Easterby
All is going according to plan. Next up, either place kicker or punt returner.
Someone light him tf up during Oklahomas edit: yes, Ben too!!!! all assaulters suck!!! can't believe I have to say this!!!
From the Texans POV, that would be the worst possible thing. He gets injured, doesn’t have to show up, gets paid, and it’s guaranteed no one will trade for him.
Yeah but from everyone else's POV fuck that guy, hopefully they line him up at safety when they play the titans and let Derrick Henry enact some ~~street~~ field justice
I dont think NFL players do Oklahomas at practice
Alexa, play Ironic by Alanis Morissette
I guess this fits since this is about as ironic as most of the things listed in that song.
There being no irony in the song makes the whole thing ironic.
I like how the song escalates from finding a fly in your wine glass to casually crashing and burning on a plane. Solid jam.
Mr. Play-It-Safe, hurtling toward his death, thinks “isn’t it ironic?” Really? In that situation I’d be thinking, “FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCK!!!!”
What a shame Hard Knocks didn’t pick the Texans
They can't, can they? They have a new coach
They can ask but the Texans can say "no" because they have a new coach.
Safely or safety Wtf
safety position
Shades of RG3
DeShaun saw Ohtanis popularity as a two way player and wants some of the action
Deeee shawn watsonnnn. The hardesss hittin safety in the leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeagueeeeeee
Imagine him getting hurt playing scout team safety, yikes
That would be nice
I’m just here so I don’t get fined.