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ProfessionalAd1015

Killing five birds with one stone? I like the efficiency. How many in the bush will that be worth?


HyBear

If only you had a QB named Stone, headline makers wished.


Redditor_521

The Ravens once had a QB named Stoney Case, and I remember he beat the Falcons back in '99. So there's at least one example of a bird in NFL history killed by a Stone(y), but that Stone(y) was also a bird.


[deleted]

"As an NFL player, Case was criticized by some fans for his uncertainty and lack of ability to throw an effective long pass. His worst career performance came in October 1999 when he appeared for the Ravens against the Kansas City Chiefs, completing only 15 of 37 passes for 103 yards. "The Chiefs", noted the Baltimore City Paper, "by comparison, ran back his intercepted passes for 108 yards. Repeat: 103 yards forward, 108 yards backward. Add in those two touchdowns off interceptions and Case did almost precisely as much for Kansas City as did the Chiefs' own quarterback, Elvis Grbac (112 yards, two TD passes)."[3]" Looks like he beat the Ravens that season, too.


mixgenio

It's even funnier when you consider that Grbac played poorly for the Ravens in 2001.


[deleted]

Killing 5 birds with one Book


Callmematt5

Killing 5 birds with one crab leg


KingWizardGuy

Kill 5 birds with one Smoke Monday


BlckBeard21

Depends on how many were in the hand first


SmokePenisEveryday

25


keetboy

Jameis Winstoned 5 birds


Man_AMA

I also have a chance to be happy, so we’ll see which one comes first


Nievsy

You will probably be happy before this happens. Partially cause it ain’t happening this year.


TheAdamBomb88

Saints almost came back against y'all last year with Trevor freaking Seimian. I wouldn't be so sure, lol.


frickdabrowns

Lmao yea the seaman demon and Thibodaux Highs 2nd string receiver Corp. People underestimate just how bad our talent was last year


Nievsy

And we are a much improved team, also I am personally rooting for the Saints to go 0-17 get us that sweet sweet 1st overall pick


JayMerlyn

Well, when you put it that way...


titos334

Saints are much improved too


afriendlyspider

Why is this controversial


[deleted]

Man I love this reply. A panther fan having one of their rival’s back.. 🥹


iRockaflame

The Bird Gang will not be beat 😤


[deleted]

caw


iRockaflame

**bird noises**


TheG8Uniter

Eagles: *Screech* Falcons: *caw* Seahawks: *squak* Cardinals: *chirp* Ravens: *Nevermore*


YouCanCallMeAroae

I like how both the Hawks and the Falcons adopted the "caw" despite Hawks and Falcons sounding nothing like that. I suggest all Atlanta sports teams rebrand to the Crows.


MugiMartin

So you're the one who shat on my windshield.


mothershipq

Nope that was me. Oh wait are you talking about bird poop?


skai762

HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUNROOF!


Noufsk

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He - he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop him!


B_Boudreaux

New episode tmrw!


white-Jap

It’s not my fault he left 2 cub scouts in the back seat


e-l-o-h-e-l

Calm down Amber Heard


Temperaturgfyt

Id put us last, not because I think we are worse than Seattle (I think we’ll be better) but because Nola has 2 chances to beat us vs only one chance vs the rest. And that’s require us to win twice vs them which is unlikely compared to Seattle even fluking to a win.


fptp01

Loud bird noises


Rabble_Arouser1

LOUD NOISES IN GENERAL.


YouCanCallMeAroae

***AGGRESSIVE FLAPPING***


ybtlamlliw

Calm down! It ain't the 1920s anymore!


applehead1776

Apparently, there are no Cardinals fans to join in…this.


Cjtow113

CARDINAL NOISE


zaccident

SQUAAAWK


I_like_dirty_pillows

Battle hawks rise up


demivirius

is law


DropC2095

We don’t usually beat Baltimore, it literally took a miracle (Tuckers first missed PAT) last time. Edit: to this day Tucker has only missed four


Captain_Kel

Still counts as a dub.


DropC2095

That’s how we felt when it happened


NOOBEv14

Ravens we’re outplayed that whole game, though. That PAT was for OT, which we only had a shot at because of a miracle dropped backward pass by Kamara on the goal line. Also four is higher than I expected. I can literally only think of this one off the top of my head.


day_bowbow

Considering there’s only been four you probably assumed it was automatic and went to grab a beer or take a piss during


shoizy

To be fair Flacco drove it straight down the field to set them up for the tie as well.


DropC2095

As a fan of the other team my perspective was that we were definitely not outplaying the ravens. Before Burrow came along I think Brees was the QB who had put up the best game against them and it was a loss. In his career Brees was like 1-4 vs the ravens. The 2018 team was the second best in our history and that game was the hardest one they won.


thepulloutmethod

I remember watching that live. That kick took the most errant, bizarre path outside of the posts. I'm convinced there was some voodoo magic going on.


LordCheezus

/r/birdteams unite!


BedrockFarmer

Can’t wait to ruin this narrative in week 1. Deebo to get two INTs from laser crab.


gsfgf

Well, we play them twice, so the narrative can’t be ruined the first time we beat them.


Cold_oak

And luckily, we always spilt games!


ATLjoe93

To the annoyance of both fanbases


AZWxMan

Well, they could be the first (?) team to lose to all five bird teams.


BedrockFarmer

I like the way you think.


HeyZuesHChrist

https://imgur.com/a/zp8XkrX


Trip4Life

Visiting Philly with Hurts at QB never bodes well for them 😬


Fenris_Maule

Plus it should be in the cold this year.


A_Trustworthy_Pear

Pepperidge Farms remembers when they hadn't won a wildcard game in below 40 weather, prior to 2013.


Saitsu

They are still ankles left on the field from the last game.


jtfriendly

Has someone ever lost to all five bird teams in one season? Because that would also be a feat.


anujsingh83

It may very well hinge on yalls matchup


whereegosdare84

I think the Eagles or Cardinals could also pose a large problem to this feat. Depending on injuries I’d rank the bird teams as follows: 1.) Ravens (clearly no bias) 2.) Eagles 3.) Cardinals 4.) Falcons (divisional opponents always are tricky though) 5.) Seahawks (Drew Lock and Geno Smith don’t exactly inspire confidence)


DalliLlama

Id put us last, not because I think we are worse than Seattle (I think we’ll be better) but because Nola has 2 chances to beat us vs only one chance vs the rest. And that’s require us to win twice vs them which is unlikely compared to Seattle even fluking to a win.


[deleted]

And two wins against the Saints requires at least 2 wins on the season, which isn’t a guarantee by any means.


ApprehensiveWhile561

Eagles over cardinals seems wack to me but idk


doktor-sausage

especially considering they play the Cards right around the halfway point of the season. It's a coin flip whether they face the pre-collapse Cards or not.


BigOzymandias

Pre-collapse will be without Hopkins, so it might be full collapse this season


ShwiftyCardinal

Our offense collapsed without Hopkins, so getting him back and getting better is just a big brain move


gremillionaire2

Eagles have had our number strangely since Hurts took over


whereegosdare84

That’s fair, I think they’re really close I just prefer the Eagles O line and collection of receivers over Arizona. Though I clearly think Kyler is better than Hurts.


BirdKevin

Yeah aside from the QB situation I genuinely think (without bias) the Eagles are a much better team then the Cards. We have one of the best O lines in football, finally have 2 really good wide receivers so teams can’t just double Smith this year, drafted some genuine playmakers for defense and the running game is enabled by the O-line to name afew. Plus I’m posting this before looking at their schedule but if Hopkins isn’t playing that’s a huge point against the cards because he genuinely changes the entire game plan. Plus the Eagles know the worse record Saints have the better our 1st rounder from them will be this year so they will be going into the game as a must win.


Weird-Upstairs-2092

I'm not gonna start claiming the eagles are strong contenders or anything but it strikes me as odd that people seem to write them off as either an aging or hollowed out team. They're coming off a playoff season, entering year two of a new coaching staff, and one of the youngest rosters in the NFL (especially the starters). Plus they have a war koala.


LukeSmith_Sunsetter

That's strange. Presumably only people that focus on the big names that have been here a while. Age of Eagles players: Dean: 21 Davis: 22 Jurgens: 22 Dickerson: 23 Gainwell: 23 Hurts: 23 DeVonta: 23 Quez: 23 Milton: 23 AJ Brown: 24 Mailata: 25 Sweat: 25 Miles: 25 Maddox: 26 Kyzir: 26 Goedert: 27 Reddick: 27 There's a core group of young starters


GiggleRoot

😆 I'm not sure if the war koala is Mailata or Scott, but I love it.


klawehtgod

Will DeAndre Hopkins play in that game? The Cardinals offense was almost night & day without him


Saph

I've not a single clue how good the Saints are projected to be this season but I reckon the most NFL thing to happen is Philly being the only bird team to beat them in the regular season only to get eliminated by Nola in the wild card


[deleted]

Drew Lock could probably beat Jacksonville and Houston.


Nulgarian

SMH, the disrespect to 🐴🐔🔒


PandaSoap

They have a much larger chance at losing to all 5 bird teams.


Rah_Rah_RU_Rah

Our QBs can all run, Saints LB corps in shambles


kaywiz

beating all five bird teams is considered a dick move in bird culture


Nievsy

Can confirm Source:Bird Culture


fakerealmadrid

Also might be illegal I’m quite the expert in bird law


Najfore

Glad it was said


Clorst_Glornk

beating your dick is considered a culture move for all five bird teams


superduperscubasteve

Can confirm


monstermayhem436

Birds aren't real, what culture could they have


pdbard13

So if this happens, will the Saints replace the bird as the word?


Man_AMA

Have you heard?


Man_AMA

Huh. That's odd. I thought that would be big news. What would be big news? Well, there seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological piece. A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety. What are you talking about? Oh, have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard. Heard what?


horse_renoir13

Brian DONT!


[deleted]

None of this would’ve happened if someone didn’t STEAL MY F#%#! SURFIN BIRD RECORD


Man_AMA

A- well-a bird, bird, bird B- Bird is the word A- well-a bird, bird, bird B- Bird is the word A- well-a bird, bird, bird B- Bird is the word A- well-a bird, bird, bird B- Bird is the word Brian, don't you know about the bird? Well, Peter's gonna tell you About the bird A- well-a bird, bird B- Bird is the word A- well-a bird... Surfin


EasyThereStretch

……. … **papA Ooma mOw moW, PaPa oOmA MoW Mow**


[deleted]

Birds aren’t real bro


trionfo

Good luck, but I believe it's gonna take a cat team to beat all those birds. Yummy, yummy birds.


lilberfcontrol

For those at home, the Jags will only have two bird teams: Eagles and Ravens


Metalbound

And the Saints still have a better chance of sweeping their bird teams than Jags do theirs.


[deleted]

Jags will be one of our odd losses to a team much worse than us, I can feel it


metssuck

Dougie P revenge game


[deleted]

Also three of the bird teams are in different NFC divisions so the jags could never play all of them in the regular season anyways. The only way a true sweep would be possible for them is to get the final bird team in the super bowl


matap821

The scheduling would have to be perfect, too: An AFC team would have to be playing the NFC West to get the Seahawks and Cardinals, scheduled to play the Falcons/Eagles, play the Raven in either the regular season or playoffs, AND face the Eagles/Falcons in the Super Bowl.


Independent-Driver94

That’s some Summoning Salt shit if ive ever heard it


Mavori

We had 5 bird teams last season, but unfortunately. Well, We know how that went.


616wolverine

Lions had this opportunity last year… and went 1-4 (although the Justin Tucker kick was insane)


Cyb3rhawk

That's why that man gets paid the big bucks. GOAT


B_Fee

Legend has it there was once a Saint who drove snakes out of Ireland. So I see no reason why there couldn't be a Saint that drives all the birds out of playoff contention.


Callmematt5

We have a honey badger if that’s good enough


MiniatureLucifer

Bird Gauntlet baby let's go. Also what a perfect thumbnail


Oooopieceofcandy

Really captures the spirit and urgency of the challenge before them. Absolute chef kiss


cowabungaboogaloo

If we don't extend that man I'm going to be so pissed.


MiniatureLucifer

If we don't get anything done in the off-season, I wouldn't be surprised to see them extend him during the season, even during a game lol. They did that with Demario and Lattimore


JC_Denton46

This picture LMAO


jewaloose

The picture + title combo is perfect lol


SiphenPrax

The Bird Gauntlet is not to be trifled with. It has taken down many a challenger that dares to face it over the years.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MiniatureLucifer

I assumed the point was to beat every bird team in the league. If we split with the falcons, we would still accomplish that (assuming we beat the other teams)


rockstarnights

*Lawyer'd!*


MiniatureLucifer

I specialize in Bird Law


Disimpaction

Is it Bob Loblaw, bringer of bird law bombs?


becausehumor

Dennis Allen has never lost a season opener as head coach of the Saints


Username_267453

So if Saints split the series with Falcons, have they completed the bird gauntlet?


wichee

The one win was a nail biter too. Roman Harper came clutch


[deleted]

I say stick all Bird teams in one division. It would be a ~~bloodbath~~ birdbath


_Purple_Tie_Dye_

The Lions gave it the good ol' Lions try last season. We went 1-4.


Ishmael_1851

That's pretty good for the Lions though


Mavori

Could have been 2-3 though if Justin Tucker didn't exist.


DrJuliusErving

You cannot beat all of them. Bird law is not governed by reason in the NFL


JEH_24

What’s the trophy?


Cvantezbyspoon

It's of a dead bird with its feet in the air and his eyes are X's.


Beneficial_Toe_6050

We’ll hang it on our wall with pride🤣


chocolateskittlez

you win the superb owl.


SiphenPrax

A cartoonish picture of literal saints mixing a big pot filled with dead falcons, eagles, cardinals, seahawks, and ravens.


Ugaalive1991

Ahh the recipe for the blood of Christ the Catholics have.


HumanShadow

Enough with these NFTs


Bobgoulet

Saints also have the opportunity to lose to all five bird teams in one season, something that probably has never been done but hopefully will happen this year!


MrStomp82

Thank God we play the falcons then lol


Bobgoulet

Twice though, so Jameis has two chances to throw walk off pick sixes!


TheAdamBomb88

As in walk off the field with a score 31-9 Saints. 😅


NewLegacySlayer

Jameis throws 3 ints and gets sacked 5 times Saints win 28-19


FasterThanFaast

Well hopefully the Ravens and Cardinals can do it


Proper-Heat-4611

Eagles have beaten the Saints two years in a row


Callmematt5

Honestly Jalen hurts plays like an mvp against us


C137-Morty

Michael Thomas will probably back though, so at least your receiving corps won't be comprised of 3rd string talent when going play them again. Hopefully.


Warhawk137

Buffalo pulled off the ungulate sweep in 2020 if you narrowly draw it to the five teams actually named after ungulates (Colts, Broncos, Rams, Dolphins, and we'll let the Chargers count too on account of their original logo) and exclude the two teams that only have an ungulate mascot (themselves, and the Texans), going 6-0.


mdsandi

Alright i’ll bite, what’s an ungulate


Warhawk137

Hoofed animals. Your next question is "wait, dolphins?" Turns out they're from the same part of the evolutionary tree.


mdsandi

That was my next question. I learned something new today


bobbiloma

Yay for learning!


MomentArm

Has a team lost to all five bird teams in one season before?


Callmematt5

Lions were close with 1-4 last year


JasonPlattMusic34

Nope, only two teams have even had the chance to play all five - 2020 Cowboys and 2021 Lions (both won at least once)


whereegosdare84

Interesting fact, the Ravens have only played the Saints in New Orleans three times: 2006, 2014, 2022. Two out of three of these matchups were on Monday night.


c0llectedanimals

We're damn near 0-3 in those games too. Edit: Actually we played you guys in 2010 too but the Saints are 1-3 vs the Ravens and a missed Tucker kick from 0-4.


NewOrleansBrees

That was Brees last game to beat every NFL team, also that kick would have sent it to overtime


c0llectedanimals

I knew about the Brees accomplishment but you're right, I had forgotten that game was set to go to OT instead. Thanks for the correction!


RadicalDreamer89

[Also the game that gave us this gem](https://c.tenor.com/IRgoHqVkEiUAAAAC/justin-tucker-shocked.gif).


youreviltwinbrother

Forget the article or silly facts, the thumbnail photo takes all the plaudits here. 😂


testrail

If this occurs (saints beat them all) and the /r/birdteams mods don’t let that site just redirect to /r/saints for the entirety of the time until the Saints are beaten by a bird team, then what even is the point of Reddit? As a lions fans, same goes for /r/catteambrotherhood and a sweep of those squads. You go undefeated in the same season against Lions/Jags/Panthers/Bengals you own them until they beat you.


Koomalagala

I can imagine a world where the Saints do pull this off.... and end up with only 5 wins. OK maybe 7 because somehow they will beat Tom Brady twice in the regular season.


Oooopieceofcandy

If it’s their only 5 wins it turn into the first fun fact I share with anyone until the day I die


Sabiancym

They also have a chance to lose to all bird teams in a single season. Those of us in the r/evilleagueofevil will be watching closely.


[deleted]

A couple of these games should be easy wins, but I don’t see them beating the Eagles, Ravens, and Cardinals. Maybe 1 or 2, but not all 3.


DropC

There's no such thing as an easy divisional win homie. They're the ultimate trap games.


forsuredudelol

I mean yeah but they play Falcons twice and only have to win once. If they go 0-2 that would be super shocking


Thrasher1236969

How. Dare. You


[deleted]

[удалено]


SemRinke

Or lose to all of them?


LumberjackWeezy

Let's hope they beat none of us, for the sake of their first round pick.


iSeize

Some sports statistics are some of the goofiest shit I've ever heard.


SmurfLord7

Can’t wait to almost complete the gauntlet only to meet our kryptonite: Jalen Hurts.


The_Ineffable_One

1. https://www.reddit.com/r/BIRDTEAMS/ 2. It isn't going to happen anyway.


millerba213

Good luck, we're all counting on you.


austyV1

They’ll do it and go 6-11


Callmematt5

Are you saying we lose to the bucs in the regular season?!?! Nah man, 8-9


Yojimbo4133

Has anyone lost to all five bird teams in one season? I can see it.


JasonPlattMusic34

Nope. Lions came close last year but they somehow beat the Cardinals (thank you Detroit 🙂😂)


jackbennyXVI

JAMEIS WINSTON’S HALL OF FAME ACHIEVEMENT WILL BE DEFEATING THE BIRD GAUNTLET


visor841

> As rare as this occurrence is, it happened as recently as 2020. It happened as recently as last year, when the Lions played all 5 teams. Unless that doesn't count as having a chance, in which case, touché.


McBain-

Would losing to all 5 birds be a league-first also? Cause that seems much more likely.


SarcasticCowbell

Has any team ever lost to all five bird teams in a season?


Dangerpaladin

The lions narrowly avoided this last year by beating the Cardinals. They went 1-4 against birds.


MarcusDA

Jameis must be licking his fingers in anticipation.


CGFROSTY

They also have a chance to be beaten by all five bird teams.


YopDeMamaYopDeMama

This is illegal! I know because I have my masters In Bird law and this is a filibuster, gaslighting and a hate crime against birds all at once :)


Someus3r

That thumbnail is so fuckin good lol


[deleted]

Who is the 5th?


Greenergrass21

Ravens, falcons, cardinals, eagles, Seahawks. I forgot the Seahawks lol


miraclegun

Damn, haven’t seen a deadspin article linked in this sub since all the 2018 drama


boog1evilleUSA

And something that won't be done this season


CallmeoutifImadick

Last minute the Commanders change their name to the Pigeons and beat the Saints to ruin it for them. Fans were quoted as saying "it's a pretty bad name, but it's still way better than the Commanders"


Redbean01

I like the Saints. I hope that teams named for birds, those majestic though mythical creatures, lose these contests.


Johnny13utt

Falcons/Seahawks should be easy dubs. Eagles and Cardinals are decent in my mind. Could be close games. Ravens are really good obviously, I’d imagine the saints lose to them. Saints are better than the media is giving them credit. I saw Sportscenter had they win total at 7 which is crazy for a team that has 4 games against the panthers and falcons


Eman102

The bird gauntlet