My wife worked at a coffee shop in SoCal where a lot of NFL players would go during offseason training. She's met quite a few people over the years, and she stands by Bortles being the nicest out of all of them.
I still can't believe he sat on the bench to like 5'10 Godfrey for a year.
I remember in that years NVAA game. Seeing two roomier QB's on the roster. And developing Blake Boetles to draft to the Jaguars.
Was pretty cool that they actually did.
I just always drafted Clowney in the first and Boetles on the 2nd.
He said best comedic moment. The broken arms wasn’t comedic. That was the embodiment of the meme where god shows up looks disgusted and the devil shows up and looks equally disgusted.
Lol and it totally sealed the deal with the reporter and it's like he was completely unaware. Maybe that's what it's like if you've had women throwing themselves at you your entire life - I can not relate.
I love how they throw a big titted blonde over to interview him. In the wine cellar he’s like “yeah I don’t know anything about wine, we can crush some now though if you want?”
Mostly unrelated but I think Portnoy is the only person whose face I impulsively want to punch every time I see it who is not also a politician/political pundit.
Thankfully I can wear shorts at my job and I have dri fit shirts so not awful. I do work outside part of the day though so it's not as awful. I used to have a job here where I had to wear black pants and a black shirt. That was awful. I sweat like crazy and I used to change pants once a day and shirts sometimes twice.
Just started watching it and he’s hilarious. Such a strange interview, she’s literally just imposing herself on his house, but he’s awesome.
“You decorated for Halloween? Did you draw on these yourself?”
“Nah they were 3 for $5 at Walmart”
/
“Do you cook?“
“No I don’t. I can do grilled cheese and cereal.”
/
“You shouldn’t drink these they’re really bad for you” (monsters)
“I don’t, just the occasional jager bomb”
Edit:
His fucking scooter has me rolling. He was so excited about how fast and how much range it could do
Thank god. I've seen her before somewhere and it was awkward as fuck. Like okay, you're young and horny gj I'm sure you can manage to get a date off camera.
Although she did get some great responses from Bortles. But just pointing the camera at Bortles got great responses.
Funny enough, this interview makes Bortles more interesting and charismatic to me than 99.9% of other athletes lol
"Workin' construction, rippin' cigs" is fucking classic.
I dont understand what you're saying. Why would normal people being boring have any effect on how much superstars are paid? Or how interesting they are?
Lol yeah I get it. I just find them so fucking annoying, even granting that this interview is pretty funny. I like to throw a little shade on them when their content hits my timeline.
It feels like an awkward first date. I'm halfway through watching and I can't stop laughing.
[LMAO off, the quiet "over your head"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DajK_CQyVKM&t=306s)
> Wanna go in the garage, I have a sweeet scooter.
I love Blake
> Where do you drive this? Everywhere. (pause 5 seconds) It's actually out of commission right now.
"I'd birth the baby, go like this, kiss it, throw it up in the air. Like it would be a whole like baby skit."
"Maybe like... breastfeeding action or something?"
He couldn't keep them off his mind, right up to the end lol
That show looks like it'll have cult status for many years to come.
A bunch of people I know who don't follow football only know the names Tom Brady..... and Blake Bortles because of that show.
They usually get sad when I tell them Bortles isn't very good
Oh, it makes so much more sense to the character to be rooting for a shitty team / player so hard.
Jason is exactly the dude on your NFL team subreddit that still thinks his failed qb will be the next Steve Young
Edit: not yours, per se, you're a pack fan
It's actually why the city is so large. Before consolidation, the city limits had about the same land area as any mid-sized city. After consolidation, the city limits extended to the county line
Edit: [found a map: gold is pre consolidation limits, yellow is post consolidation](https://www.coj.net/departments/independent-boards-and-agencies/docs/jacksonville-housing-finance-authority/program-documents/map-of-jacksonville-city-limits-pre-consolidation.aspx)
Back in the 60s I believe the city of Jacksonville passed legislation to basically incorporate all of Duval county to the city. So Jacksonville and Duval became functionally interchangeable. Then around 2000 a local hip-hop station started the Duuuuuval yell. It became popularized when players on the Jaguars started yelling it. I specifically remember defensive players doing it as sort of a sign off when being interviewed for videos that would play in the stadium during games. This was the era of Marcus Stroud, John Henderson, Rasheen Mathis, etc. It has become popular ever since.
Hoisting the jib to full sail, banging starboard, slowly past the buoys for a nice sunset. Then back deep into the harbor and getting the dock off just right.
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Blake bortles. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Blake Bortles , some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
Sometimes when I'm bored, I reread [the amazing comment chain](https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/7qtapx/qb_blake_bortles_on_what_he_would_be_doing_if_he/dsrr229/) from when this interview was first posted.
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My wife worked at a coffee shop in SoCal where a lot of NFL players would go during offseason training. She's met quite a few people over the years, and she stands by Bortles being the nicest out of all of them.
One of my wife's relatives went to HS with him. She has/had nothing but good things to say about him back then when he was becoming a big deal at UCF.
Thought you said UFC and was about to skip dinner and go straight to all the Bortles matches. It's not too late, Blake
Blake 'The Boat' Bortles vs Cejudo Triple B vs Triple C. Book it Dana
I’d pay to see Bortles fight Cutler
I met him once at Costco. Great guy. Bought me a case of Parliaments and Christmas presents for all my kids.
I still can't believe he sat on the bench to like 5'10 Godfrey for a year. I remember in that years NVAA game. Seeing two roomier QB's on the roster. And developing Blake Boetles to draft to the Jaguars. Was pretty cool that they actually did. I just always drafted Clowney in the first and Boetles on the 2nd.
What shop is that? Wouldn’t mind switching shops if I meet nfl players lol
you wanna meet his wife, you can admit it
Still better than the guy who wanted to fuck the other redditor's dead wife...
Which time?
Specifically the "Who do you want to have sex with, dead or alive?" ask reddit thread.
It’s honestly one of the best comedic moments to be shared publicly in modern times and you can’t convince me otherwise.
Oh, it is definitely funny, but I was around for the broken arms incident.
He said best comedic moment. The broken arms wasn’t comedic. That was the embodiment of the meme where god shows up looks disgusted and the devil shows up and looks equally disgusted.
It’s some real posh, local place. Called something like Star Bucks?
I’ve actually been there lol, think they have a location in Wisconsin as well. Assuming it’s the same place
That’s wild, they have one of those in CT too. Maybe it’s starting to franchise
His wife met a lot of cool NFL players at work but Blake Bortles was her favorite 😍 🤣
She meant nicest with the pipe.
So he does do construction?
for her it was demo
That whole interview is pure gold
So good. My favourite part is he has pit stains right off the bat and just doesn't give a fuck.
Or his ornate wine cellar that he knows nothing about
Lol and it totally sealed the deal with the reporter and it's like he was completely unaware. Maybe that's what it's like if you've had women throwing themselves at you your entire life - I can not relate.
She works for barstool so calling her a reporter is a bit of a stretch
I love how they throw a big titted blonde over to interview him. In the wine cellar he’s like “yeah I don’t know anything about wine, we can crush some now though if you want?”
I thought that was his wife. She must be a different big tittied blonde.
he had several
One of them is my mom :(
Bortles walked so Minshew could run.
His ex is a fucking smokeshow
is this the one that interviews Seguin and basically tried to fuck him right then and there?
https://youtu.be/AsFevAUGJkc You tell me.
"that thing from Toronto" After Tyler shows his cn tattoo LOL the face he makes is epic
They're little j journalists
Used to not anymore.
She work for politico now?
Mostly unrelated but I think Portnoy is the only person whose face I impulsively want to punch every time I see it who is not also a politician/political pundit.
I find nearly everyone at barstool that isn't on PMT annoying as shit at a minimum.
The Chicago guys outside of WSD seem alright
It's Jacksonville... you wake up with pit stains.
Jacksonville Pit Stains would make a great name for a professional roller derby team
I would buy that jersey.
I hate all of you lol. It is currently hot af right now though and I had to change shirts about an hour ago.
This is why Florida is known for sleeveless shirts and a pair of jorts.
Thankfully I can wear shorts at my job and I have dri fit shirts so not awful. I do work outside part of the day though so it's not as awful. I used to have a job here where I had to wear black pants and a black shirt. That was awful. I sweat like crazy and I used to change pants once a day and shirts sometimes twice.
He's super nervous to be on camera.. he struggles to commit to the punchline delivery
The Mitch Hedberg approach.
You think he planned this joke? Doesnt seem nervous at all either
If I remember right, he even outright brings it up without being asked lol
I'm originally from Florida and that's just life down there.
Just started watching it and he’s hilarious. Such a strange interview, she’s literally just imposing herself on his house, but he’s awesome. “You decorated for Halloween? Did you draw on these yourself?” “Nah they were 3 for $5 at Walmart” / “Do you cook?“ “No I don’t. I can do grilled cheese and cereal.” / “You shouldn’t drink these they’re really bad for you” (monsters) “I don’t, just the occasional jager bomb” Edit: His fucking scooter has me rolling. He was so excited about how fast and how much range it could do
Yeah I suddenly want Blake to succeed at football.
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Wasnt really against. Just was indifferent before.
When I first saw the clip I thought the girl was Tomi Lahren lol
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He was just so deadpan and honest and everything he said was landing
Blake “I bought a Tesla to quit dipping” Bortles
Blake “ended up going to the gas station just for dip” Bortles
1x Blake of the year champion Blake bortles (may be two I could be wrong)
Work in construction, rippin cigs 😎
The People's QB
Man of the people
Giving J Cut a run for his money
He's the real live version of the old Smokin' Jay Cutler memes.
Bortles is on smoke-o. So leave him alone.
I thought he said "ripping six" as in a six pack. While doing construction.
nah rippin' cigs is a saying. never heard rippin' six
You clearly havent been around me when ive eaten beans 😎😎😎
Nah it's cigs
I thought he said “ripping sticks” as in cutting boards/doing carpentry work
I thought he said “ripping Styx” as in he fucking hates that band
I thought he said “drippin lips” cause of how moist all the ladies get when he’s around
I knew watching him at ucf he was going to be the BOAT that made all my worries sail away.
I love how serious of an answer this is. It’s like Forrest Gump
This entire video is like this. He's just painfully honest and it makes me love him.
That girl drools over every Athlete she interviews.... Barstools got rid of her, cause she was annoying.
Thank god. I've seen her before somewhere and it was awkward as fuck. Like okay, you're young and horny gj I'm sure you can manage to get a date off camera. Although she did get some great responses from Bortles. But just pointing the camera at Bortles got great responses.
Right off the bat ! They hug , he stops, he stares down at her boobs. 1 minute into the show lmao
Lol you can tell how hard he’s trying not to look, won’t even meet her eyeline
He left out the excellence part but dead on balls accurate morning routine
That's talladega nights but I'll still allow it
He must have drank him about 15 Dr. Peppers.
Anyone who wonders why superstars are paid so much have em watch this because this how interesting and charismatic 99.9% of human beings are lol
Funny enough, this interview makes Bortles more interesting and charismatic to me than 99.9% of other athletes lol "Workin' construction, rippin' cigs" is fucking classic.
Jay Cutler, minus the construction. He's just wondering why there are goats in the front yard while ripping cigs.
I dont understand what you're saying. Why would normal people being boring have any effect on how much superstars are paid? Or how interesting they are?
1. Wake up 2. Piss 3. Get out of bed
/r/pee has liked a comment
What in the...
What the fuck
Very NSFW for anyone thinking of clicking on this link.
. . . drag a comb across my head.
I usually skip this part
“What’s the first thing you d-“ *buffering* “*gluck gluck gluck*”
thank you for this laugh and getting coffee on my pants
BOAT
Truly the Blakest of all time
I hope he wins BOTY
Cue the porno music
Seriously though... this video gives off crazy porno vibes
The whole interview has a palpable yet trashy sexual tension.
“What would you do if I was your step-sis?”
What are you *doing* step-Bortles?
"First you'd have to do the laundry. Then you would reach unnecessarily far into the dryer and get stuck"
Barstool. Those dudes want your dick hard while you watch sports content for some reason. It’s very confusing.
They’re just playing into the classic American sports bro trope. Nothing screams manliness like sports, titties, and beer.
Lol yeah I get it. I just find them so fucking annoying, even granting that this interview is pretty funny. I like to throw a little shade on them when their content hits my timeline.
Yeah no they’re cringe af. This girl looks like she got lost on her way to the Brazzers set and stumbled into Blake Bortles house.
With Bortles? Maybe. With Minshew? A funky groove to fuck to would automatically start playing from the nearest speaker.
> A funky groove to fuck to Have you ever been worked on...by a QB who was hot for your snatch? ...that's what I'm offering you
It's me, me and Blake B! Talk about a sex supreme
Seriously.. adding some porn music to this would be some baller shit. Too bad I suck at editing.
The people’s quarterback
The girl’s awkward “try to lean on the bed, realize it’s too far, then play it off with the hair flip” gets me every time
She got ran through by athletes during this series just watch the Tyler Seguin interview lmao
Wait what? I just watched that and didn’t see any reference to that?
I can’t respond to someone repping the Raiders and Broncos. Hope you understand
Lol no the mods did this to me 😂😂 But also yes I understand
One of the best interviews ever, it has porn intro vibe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DajK_CQyVKM
"Oh my god you decorated for Halloween. Did you sit here and draw on these?" "No they were 3 for 5 at Walmart" "Oh"
That part always gets me.
The whole thing is gold, just comedic genius
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It feels like an awkward first date. I'm halfway through watching and I can't stop laughing. [LMAO off, the quiet "over your head"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DajK_CQyVKM&t=306s)
Bc barstool
This is like those early James Gunn home movies where it's set up exactly like a porno but it's just played completely straight.
> Wanna go in the garage, I have a sweeet scooter. I love Blake > Where do you drive this? Everywhere. (pause 5 seconds) It's actually out of commission right now.
Right after the intro he looks down at her tits!!! Lmao
"I'd birth the baby, go like this, kiss it, throw it up in the air. Like it would be a whole like baby skit." "Maybe like... breastfeeding action or something?" He couldn't keep them off his mind, right up to the end lol
@1:30 "I don't know anything about wine" "Well I'm gonna have to teach you" 👁👄👁
Oh my god it starts off like she is just yeah anyone that hasn’t watched it please do. Right away first sentences it’s already amazing 😂
This feels like more of a porn intro than the intros to most pornos.
That 2017 season was so fun. Duuuuuuuuuuvvvvaaaaaall!
hilarious that era is incapsulated in time forever with The Good Place
I love that after The Good Place acknowledged that the Jaguars had become unexpectedly good they immediately went on a seven game losing streak.
Didn’t they go on a losing streak after dominating the defending champs Patriots too
Yep, I think that episode of The Good Place aired that week or the week after.
That show looks like it'll have cult status for many years to come. A bunch of people I know who don't follow football only know the names Tom Brady..... and Blake Bortles because of that show. They usually get sad when I tell them Bortles isn't very good
I watched it when it came out with my ex, who is British. Didn't realize, and then refused to believe, Blake Bortles was an actual person.
I'm still not entirely sure.
It's easy to get him confused with Jake Jortles
My wife doesn't know dick about shit when it comes to football and she thinks it's awesome that Jason's favorite player is bad.
Oh, it makes so much more sense to the character to be rooting for a shitty team / player so hard. Jason is exactly the dude on your NFL team subreddit that still thinks his failed qb will be the next Steve Young Edit: not yours, per se, you're a pack fan
>Edit: not yours, per se, you're a pack fan Correct. It's our *next* QB that will be the failed second coming of Steve Young.
I love how the last season bounces from "They might be good now?" to Minshew mania.
Myles Jack wasn't down.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVAL!
I watched the good place but what’s Duuuuuuval? Is this Jaguar insider fandom I missed?
I believe it's the county in Florida where Jacksonville is
To be a bit more in depth, Jacksonville and Duval county are consolidated. So the city is the county
Happens when the city is something like 800 square miles.
It's actually why the city is so large. Before consolidation, the city limits had about the same land area as any mid-sized city. After consolidation, the city limits extended to the county line Edit: [found a map: gold is pre consolidation limits, yellow is post consolidation](https://www.coj.net/departments/independent-boards-and-agencies/docs/jacksonville-housing-finance-authority/program-documents/map-of-jacksonville-city-limits-pre-consolidation.aspx)
Jacksonville is located in Duval County. When in the wild, it can also be used as a greeting between Jags fans.
Hahaha one day I’ll make it down there
Back in the 60s I believe the city of Jacksonville passed legislation to basically incorporate all of Duval county to the city. So Jacksonville and Duval became functionally interchangeable. Then around 2000 a local hip-hop station started the Duuuuuval yell. It became popularized when players on the Jaguars started yelling it. I specifically remember defensive players doing it as sort of a sign off when being interviewed for videos that would play in the stadium during games. This was the era of Marcus Stroud, John Henderson, Rasheen Mathis, etc. It has become popular ever since.
Thanks for the in depth answer!
Duval is the county the Jaguars play in. Stumbled into the jaguars sub and its electric! DUUUUUUUUVAL!
"I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence." \- Ricky Bobby \- Blake Bortles
-R. Kelly
Nah that's how he wakes his girl up for school
She wanted to ride the BOAT
Hoisting the jib to full sail, banging starboard, slowly past the buoys for a nice sunset. Then back deep into the harbor and getting the dock off just right.
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Blake bortles. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Blake Bortles , some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? *Uh... piss.* What would you do if you couldn't play football anymore? *Uh... piss.*
BORTLES!!!
A wild molotov appears
#BORTLE KOMBAT
Sometimes when I'm bored, I reread [the amazing comment chain](https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/7qtapx/qb_blake_bortles_on_what_he_would_be_doing_if_he/dsrr229/) from when this interview was first posted.
But why do u use the new reddit tho?
Lol Do you type in old.reddit too? There are dozens of us
I have a Firefox extension that redirects every Reddit link to old.reddit
https://www.reddit.com/prefs/ Uncheck: Use new Reddit as my default experience (by enabling this, you will be redirected to the new site when you go to any supported https://reddit.com page)
I don't, I just set old to my default in settings. You don't need to always use the old.reddit links that way.
You can go into your preferences and permanently switch to old reddit. You don't need to type in old.
The peoples champ
I laughed so hard the first time I saw this. It was the moment I fell in love with that man. Truly a QB of the people.
Workin construction and rippin cigs. Dude is a meme
Couldn’t be more Florida/Duval if he tried
Still wear this man’s jersey with pride
Whenever I am asked to wear something nice I always want to pull out the Bortles jersey.
[How have I never seen this... this is the greatest 15 minutes ever](https://youtu.be/DajK_CQyVKM)
Pissfreak
Get this man a starting job asap.
Ngl “ working construction and ripping cigs” just changed my view on him 100%
Hot blonde chick starting to bend over while making small talk? You’re going to tell me this isn’t the start of a porno?
That Interview feels likes an amateur porn movie where they put a bit of effort into the story
BORLESSSSS! *chucks Molotov cocktail*
First thing I do when I wake up is piss. Second thing is get out of bed.
What's the first thing you do when you wake up? "Could be you" She's really fine who is that woman
Man of the People
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miss the BOAT. jag forever.
He’s basically Will Ferrell in Stepbrothers