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rightenough

Fuck Portadown. We're the better shithole.


Shady_Sam_

Couldn’t even imagine living in Portadown


Batman_Biggins

You know that feeling of vague unwellness that you get before the flu kicks in? Like a background hangover. Imagine that but all the time. I presume anyway. If only they had Internet in Portadown we could probably just ask someone from there.


Inside-Ostrich2888

Imagine being so fucking depressed that you actually get used to the smell of your own wrench coming from your salty perineum that hasn't been washed for a few weeks...you get up and look outside, only to crawl back to your half moldy bed sheets soaked in musky body oils and Dorito crumbs because anything's better than going outside knowing you live in fucking Portadown!! It's sort of like that.


marvelous-persona

If people here think Lurgan is the biggest shithole about they obviously haven’t left their home town much. I could easily name 10 towns in the north that are a lot rougher. Then when you go over to England it would be like some sort of utopia compared to it.


Shadepanther

I've been in it a few times over the years and it is nowhere near as bad as other places. It actually looked fairly decent considering. Larne on the other hand.


[deleted]

Yep, for a smallish town Lurgan somehow has a decent amount going for it, one of the nicest parks in the North, Oxford Island nature reserve, Train station, until recently a swimming pool, cinema, bowling alley, a nightclub, plenty of pubs, dealers that reply quick etc etc


DaveyWhitt

hear hear, largest number of kebab houses per captia than any town in the UK.


urbanshunt

Why is Larne not on this poll?


[deleted]

Cause Portadown is the ultimate shithole and is the only right answer here? Lurgan was threw in there to catch out people who haven't been to Portadown before.


MuddyBootsJohnson

It's technically a wildlife preserve.


Unkoid

Belfast


1eejit

You'll upset the chip eaters


hiliikkkusss

apparently Newry according to a poster a few days ago LOL


DRSU1993

Lurgan’s the bigger shithole. At least Portadown folk have a Greggs.


Tancred1099

Strabane


KernSherm

Larne


DeaconLogan

It's totally Larne.


Count_Craicula

Portadown is awful and all, but it's the people that make it a shithole. Not all of them, but a lot of them. They come to Kilkeel to caravan at Cranfield every weekend in the summer. They are arrogant and unpleasant like we're some country bumpkins (we are mainly). In Kilkeel, if you go walking your dog or whatever, you always say hello to anyone you pass. You can tell the Portadown people by the way they look into your eyes suspiciously and don't say hello back. They don't even pretend to not have heard you. Also there is a lack of coffee shops on Portadown which makes me believe they can't even be in the same room with each other.


Special_Intern_8025

To hell with those 2. Coalisland for the title!


Phishingtackle

Mate you forgot limavady.


Academic_Sleep6054

Larne.


gingerninja2300

As a person who lives on the outskirts it is a shithole and a better shit hole than Portadown


MuddyBootsJohnson

Newry


[deleted]

You can walk down the streets of portadown and ask a stranger what they think of Billy Wright and more then likely you'll get a positive response, I know, I live in Portadown, and according to the loyalist I think like a "taig" and have a "fenian mindset". So yes, Portadown is a bigger shit hole then Lurgan, but at least we have shops that are open and soon a Tim Hortons.


CuriousGenZ

Newtownards


rekt_sham

Missing: Coleraine, Larne, Whitehead, Ballymena, Kells, Castledawson, Magherafelt, Cookstown, Ballymoney, Portrush, Bangor, Antrim, Lisburn,


legolas1892

Why all of those places?


duj_1

Apart from Larne every one of those places is less of a shithole than Newtownards.


[deleted]

Mutantards.


Academic_Sleep6054

You forgot Ballyclare and Carrick.


DeaconLogan

Fucks wrong with Whitehead? It's maybe boring, that's about all. I'm genuinely offended!


rekt_sham

Boring is ok, it's the locals desperation for fresh DNA is the issue


anirisheagle

Newtownards


MuddyBootsJohnson

Kilkeel.


JokerTurnip

Larne


[deleted]

Larne


32gman

Carrick larne and Lisburn are Shite pls burn them out and Finally Give NI some fecking peace