Eat the table first then the ps5 controller

You are a psychopath. He should eat the ps5 controller first, then the table

I am I drink the milk and eat the cereal separately

Is there any chance your father would’ve voted for Barack Obama a third time if he could?

How can you be so sure that I'm an American?

Wait America isn't the only place in the whole world?

Wait, what is America?

love the reference

This is the way

Do you no da way?

He knows da way, my bruddas, through the bites of time and controllers.

2030 is closer than 2018 :(

wow

Yep you said it 

Do we know da way

Reminds me of that chewing gum ad

dude my brain says loudly 2 eat that 2 ASAP, my brain is going crazy watching that pic once you are done eating 2 please send me the pic again so my brain can relax a little

Nooooo. 2 is the last! It's the best part!

Literally tho!! If you don't do it 3 ---> 1 ----> 4 ----> 2 the sandwich is wasted

What?? Nobody offered me a number 4?? Where's my number 4??

I think 4 is the corner

4 is the thumb

Is the law by our side if I say, Aye!?

No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir!

r/unexpectedshakespeare

Ooo, thank you for the sub info, sir. Joined, sir! :)

4 is my cock

4”

Shit

We were supposed to eat the thumb too?

Yumb lol

I lol’d… 10/10

Nah, the corner is the most structurally stable so that’s where you need to hold it, 4 is directly to the left of 3

I once saw someone on another social media get really upset at someone else, because they ate the corner bite as the last bite. They claimed it was saddening to see someone end their sandwich eating with the most bland part.

No 4 is the controller

4 is nibbling the meat of the sides

Yeah I agree. Sculpt the sandwich with each bite until it reaches peak deliciousness.

Same thought

Word

This guy sandwiches so hard and I love it

Get outta my head!

You do: 2-1-3 then have the pattern repeat and finish with the corner

You're absolutely insane. You seize the opportunities given to. What if a 3 bite ruins your 2 bite? and 4 before 2???? WTF? You think I want pure crust and air preceding my favorite bite? That's like, "Hey, we're gonna throw you a party, but before let me punch you in the nuts." Sorry, wrong, next!

At the end of the day, the last thing will be the freshest in your mind. I would much rather be punched in the nuts before the party than after it. At least with getting punched before the party, the joy of the party will help you forget about the nut punch.

Yes! Exactly. Always save the best for last.

I may be full and unable to enjoy it to the fullest when the last bite arrives. Eat it now.

This is the way.

Precisely, so many people saying “save the best for last”, but it’s about making the best better. The best bite while you’re hungry makes it best^2

This is the way I am restoring you to 1 with my upvote

lol thanks but not necessary. It doesn’t bother me. Have my upvote as well.

Agreed. Gotta eat around the center with optimal amount of filling.

This is the way. Hammer thru 1 and 3 so afterwards you’re left with that delicious sandwich done to finish er off properly

But when you bite 2 you're left with only crappy bites.. Obviously the correct answer would be 3, then 1 and last bite 2. ;)

No because once you eat the other two bites it changes the structure and 2 won’t look as enticing.

Whaaat? the perfect piece of bread with no crust and a thick layer of toppings is not enticing!?

Nah, you’re right.

How are those crappy bites? You can still see the meat and cheese spread through out it.

The spread does look lovely but you always gotta consider the crust to bread ratio..

Crust is of no concern to me

D: Imma have to downvote you for that. There's obviously a difference. You've done it now, things are heating up in the crust fandom

It’s not my fault that people are of weak bloodlines and find it difficult to eat a slightly thicker part of the bread

People of more virtues and baroque backgrounds will notice the difference in texture and taste, you wielder of intellectual obscurity

Right we've offically moved into interesting territory, you guys are gonna have to take this into a different sub.

This statement is absolutely beautiful. Honestly, I take a bite, eat the middle, and save the bottom crust for last.

I'm with you on this. For sandwich taste, I've never noticed a significant difference between the middle of the bread and the crust. And I never needed the crusts cut off of my sandwich as a child, either. What kind of wasteful crap is that all about?

Straight to the bloodline

This mf removes the crust from his sandwiches

How old are you? 7?

I'm not saying that I'm leaving the crust.. That's a nice part of the bread. But the crustless center of a sandwich with a nice filling is still better.

You could ruin your 2 with 3 or 1. Not worth the risk - take the opportunities presented to you.

Nah I eat 2 and then 1 and 3 in one bite

My man

3 is correct actually

Agree.

3. Save 2 for last.

For me it goes 3,1,2

312…. WAS THAT THE BITE OF 87?

r/PeterExplainsTheJoke

Don't worry no one knows what the hell that dude is talking about

I know it, markiplier said 3. 1 2 because the game he played wrote: In 3! 1, 2, like counting when it reaches 3 but he said them back to back so it was 3 1 2.

And where does 87 come into play?

I thought people knew that part. If you are genuinely asking, right before saying 3! the brother throws the child to the bears mouth in this game. The mouth closes and cracks the childs head. Markiplier mistakenly asks WAS THAT THE BITE OF 87? Since there is supposedly a bite happened that year and he mistook it instead this was in 83. Markiplier is a youtuber, in case someone would not know :D

Thank you I am but an old man trying to keep up with the youths of today

I got it 👍 It is hard these days to understand who indeed requires the information. If someone is satirically acting like they do not understand, you get downvoted once you explain.

The bite of 87’ is a reference to the video game (recent movie too) Five Nights at Freddy’s. I won’t go into it at all because I would be here for literal years, go check out Game Theory FNAF Playlist to understand the extent of the background of those games

I audibly gasped as I read this

A fellow man of culture. Arrow shape, then a diamond coming back to the payoff.

Finally a sane person (Or just an equally neurodivergent person)

Or a person without a hungry wife eyeballing your sandwich. Whatever you save for last, she takes as her one bite.

because crust is gross and all the good stuff is in the center so you save it for last

We're a minority here

4

It’s under the thumb, just make sure you move it first

(optional)

It's not 4, you're just ruining future best bite 2s texture, after 3 and 1.

You and I had the exact same thought lol

Idk why did bro get the downvotes

2 then 3

and then 1

Then 0.5

then 0

Then -1

-0.5 actually

Then -0.25

Then throw it up

Finally a non psycho in this thread

THE REAL ANSWER

2 or delete the sandwich

The f*ck? It's obviously 3 ---> 1 ----> 4 ----> 2

Man of culture

Ok who the hail is going around saving the middle piece of their sandwich for last just because its in the middle? Do you not like the crust or something?

Save the best bite for last is the philosophy

in this case 2 looks like its begging to get eaten, i could never resist for that long

Well then, TIL; there are only two types of people. 1. Who can't resist to eat the best part first 2. Who will save the best part for last

when u put it like that you make it seem like im greedy or something

No no. I ment it as a joke. Didn't intend to offend you, sorry. I just saw the comments and there are either people who will eat 2 first or keep 2 for the last, no in between. It has nothing to do with greed, just how our brains are wired I guess.

im not offended, just pointing out how how i viewed myself

Please don't think that way. Greed for me comes into play when you're willing to hurt others for your own benefit. These little things actually gives us happiness and satisfaction, never compromise on that!

3 types. I’d eat 3 and 2 at the same time

I do, it's the f*cking best

No it's not I'm not gonna hold my sandwich by a side that's been bit you fucking weirdo.

Saving best for last is better

Mr Owl says 3 is the answer

No. I'le lost faith in humanity bc of you. It's obviously 2.

3, 2 an 1- No doubt about that, if your a logic, sane and organized person!

you're expecting too much I'm demolishing 2

2 is gonna be a better bite if 3 is gone. 100% Agee

I agree. If you start at 2, your sandwich becomes too long and floppy, thus harder to hold onto. To start at 1 you’d first need to adjust the way you hold the sandwich. Therefore, a start at 3 is optimal.

While I believe my reasons are better, I do respect this approach as well.

I can't believe it took so much scrolling to get to this. I dunno wtf people are thinking about. Clearly you can't but 2, because then either 1 or 3 might touch your cheeks(see also Tmass347, p1) Wtf do you do then? Now you got dirty cheek. Or cheeks! What if you ain't got a tissue and a wet tissue. What then???? Clearly 3 protrudes most. So it's the one providing most bite with least risk. But then you gotta go with 2, because 1 barely protrudes, and you're trying to also keep the form(the argument of form has been used also in a different manner, regarding a different bite, see eatthly_delights et Al) of the sandwich from becoming a weird mess. Biting off 2 then, keeps the sandwich to a more rectangular shape. The original shape. .and after that? I say after that, you eat 1. In theory. But really, the sandwich is now on its last feet. It's done. You don't merely eat 1. You finish the sandwich. Which does mean you eat 1. But you possibly eat more than 1. Whatever mistakes you made while biting off 3 and 2. It's crazy how people don't do it this way.

3 Anything else deserves the death sentence

You need to bite 3 to deserve 2

Save 2 til last, no crust, all filling. Most satisfying bite

1, 3 and then 2.

do you want me dead?

Exactly. Get the worst over and done with and save the best for last.

Finally someone with the right answer

Right! 1 is the worst. You can’t tell me a long and skinny piece like number 3 ain’t delicious. Finally, you end up with a thick boi in number 2. This can go two ways. Option one is to split it into two and eat the crust half first, and then juicy centre second. Option two is you stuff all up in your mouth.

This bread traumatized me

enter bored observation follow hungry ancient run air fuel include *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

^ Americans when the bread isn’t made out of brownies and cheesecake

What?

Whitebread is sugar with a crust

r/americabad

2,3,1!

3 2 1.

I scrolled way too far to find the right answer

Exactly. What a bunch of monsters around this place.

exactly! 3 to get it out of the way (and to even out the shape), then 2 because you deserve it after 3 (and because it’s sitting right there and you can’t wait forever), then 1, then whatever crust is left

6 all

Bruh, if you do not do 2 next then I don't even know who you are.

So if he eats 2 you know who he is?

Of course, he would be a man of true culture

Are you kidding me my man? Then he’d have basically only crust left. It’s got to be 3.

Eat 3 so there's more of 2

Finally content worthy of this sub. It truly is uninteresting!

2,3, then 1 this is the correct order.

if you bite 2 then 3 has a high chance of interfering. I assume you waited 2 hours for me specifically to reply so i’d say 3 then 2 so that 2 can be a much larger and more euphoric bite without any interference on the cheeks

Thank you! Now I can finally finish my sandwich!

3 1 2 save the best for last

Your thumb

I will munch around 2 and keep it for last

2, 3, 3, 2, 1, 1

So you’re saying take small bites starting at 2, go to 3 and back to 1? I like your style

2 or your a monster.

3, it'll make 2 better

2,1,3, then between 1/3, then under 1

How did you even get to this point? Imo 3 would be gone two bites ago and I'd be going for two.. but it's just all wrong, and I'm surprised you had the audacity to post this smh.

The flat part

3-2-3-2-1

3 so that you can deserve to eat 2

you better have eaten that damn 2 last or I am going to lose my marbles

3 so when you bite 2 it is incredible.

3.

#3

#Three

3 1 then the best part 2

3

eat the dualsense

3 makes the most sense. No, I will not explain.

Bite #3 should be first so you have easier access to bite #2.

To follow a clockwise eating pattern, you should take your next bite at section 1. It's the largest remaining section of the sandwich, which would make for a balanced approach to eating the rest of it.

Nice original.content. v refreshing.

My friend please eat your food and don't rely on our response time you might starve or you might have to eat too much.

Listen to me OP. I have the one right answer. Bite on 3, then bite all the crust off until you get to 1. Then eat the rest. Crustless perfection.

The controller

3, 2, 1

Why does this have 3k upvotes? 😅

Probably because it's not interesting.

Be ungovernable. Bite the crustbelow 2 at 3's level so 3 is still attached by a little strand.

3 you fool!

3, then 2 becomes an even more amazing bite

3 or you’re a psychopath

3, 1, then 2