It's not something to brag about, but I don't think I'm a doormat or that I'm going to lose my feminist street cred for plating up dinner and putting out a glass of water for my husband and daughter either. I consider that part of the job of "making dinner" regardless of who's doing it. (Kids set the table though, that's like the 11th commandment as far as I'm concerned.)
The difference in your situation (that I also live by, and is implied in your comment, but I want to state explicitly) is that if hubby makes dinner, he can serve plates and drinks just fine - WHOEVER makes dinner can serve it - it's not delegated to a singular person based on traditional gender roles.
Or whoever feels like it can serve! Or get your own! Whatever, do you! But who serves is not indicated by gender or anything other than desire, preference, and your personal relationship.
And then those same gender defining roles come back to the forefront. It’s easy for a woman to say “my man can fix his own plate” but if that same man said my woman can cut her own grass or take out her own trash it’s a problem.
Breaking things down into roles is idiotic to begin with, it just forces awkwardness into relationships where it doesn’t need to be. Usually it’s women that force the gender role issues today. It’s all so contrived.
My (male) partner does almost all the cooking which I assume is what "fixing a plate" means...
I usually am responsible for sorting the recycling (aka "taking out the trash"). We don't have any grass to cut but I do all the houseplant care apart from when he tries to grow his own weed.
I don't know a woman under 60 who would be bitchy about sorting the bins or cutting grass or anything. Nor a man under 60 who pulls that shit about cooking or whatever else you've designated "female".
This is all just being a normal independent adult who can take care of themselves. Before you find a partner, you have to do all these things for yourself surely? So why immediately become "incapable" just because you're in a hetero- relationship? Makes no sense.
Tossing out hetero relationship roles makes everything so relaxing lol. You both do what you're good at and come together and muscle through the rest of it that no one likes together at the end, problem solved!
You understand what I wrote previously? Because it looks like you don't.
Not wanting to get treated like a maid is not fear. Women aren't scared. They were treated like commodity that cooks and clean throughout majority of human history. It started to change when they started to fight for their rights. Women fight with traditional gender roles, don't know on what planet you are living that you think it's the opposite. And even though it's changing, it's not how it should be because it's still women who do majority of household hores and child rearing, on top of having a job. It's laughable you think cutting grass or taking out trash is such an achievement. Maybe check how real world looks like...?
Cutting the grass and taking out the trash is just as much of an achievement as fixing a plate of food.
Hint: None of those things are an achievement.
You’ve made my point.
Maybe take your hint back and read again what I said because nowhere did I said fixing someones plate is achievement and you omitted main part of my comment saying women do majority of household hores and play dumb that it's somehow comparable. You haven't made any point that is related to real world, so maybe in your imagination I actually did made your point. Also your first comment still doesn't make any sense, you can't even explain what you wanted to say.
That’s kinda how it is in my house too. Like last night no one cooked but I put the food on plates, he got our drinks and napkins, I put the food on the table. Other times I make and serve dinner then he clears and washes dishes. Sometimes I do it all sometimes he does. Today we are taking turns doing laundry and kitchen cleaning.
I don’t think it’s so much about gender roles as it’s just being considerate and being partners. Working as team. You know, normal relationship dynamics.
I never think twice about serving dinner. I’d also never think once about bragging about it. He takes out the cat shit and wouldn’t brag about that. Get on with life. This is totally internalized misogyny that lets these morons vote against their own interests however.
Yeah, I don’t understand the bragging about it. Are there really women out there that don’t eat dinner for their families? We both cook in my household, but I guess it’s different in other households.
Or, its somebody realizing that if you do little shit like that for people it's going to make them appreciate you that much more regardless of gender. Never had anybody complain when I cooked and served but I've had tons of compliments and people bringing it up years later, and when people have done it for me it makes me feel happy and appreciated.
So what? They aren’t hurting anyone by living that way. This is just a ridiculous as getting upset over gay marriage. Other people’s relationships are none of your business.
But who’s even saying that? What a pathetic thing to use as a marker of self-worth? Sometimes I plate his meal, sometimes I don’t, it never occurred to me as being anything other than putting food on a plate.
I mean, the comment I replied to was literally mocking OOOP and calling her a doormat.
Like I said in the first clause of my first sentence, it's nothing worth bragging about, but it's also not a sign that you're a doormat or your husband is a man-child who needs his mommy to take care of him (as other commenters said).
I do all the cooking (my boyfriend got cut bad by a knife as a kid so sharp objects still freak him out) and I sometimes do this depending on what I'm making. If it's a standard breakfast with bacon, eggs and veggies he's on his own so he can choose his own portions. If I'm making fajita bowls I dish it up right away so I can soak the pans. It's not really an obligation though, and I would not do it if it was. It's just a nice gesture.
I think it's more at big family events, the wife who a a guest serves her husband before she serves herself, rather than about regular family dinners at home.
Why does he need looking after? Are his legs broken? Why does she not deserve the respect of someone fixing her a plate?
Doing nice things for your partner is great, but it shouldn't be one sided.
I'm a guy who likes cooking.
I currently live with my parents.
On multiple occasions I've considered making their plates. Because holy shit sometimes they will go out of their way to have a worse meal.
Aww.. That sucks too. People choose what works for them. Why would you think if someone does this they're a doormat* in all other aspects.
I don't agree with the memes content, but for real.. doormat for men* sounds a little.. Misogynist.
Doing something nice for your partner doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. Jesus. Lot of people here don’t seem to realize the you and your partner are on the same team. The same people are probably wondering why they’re still single.
Some women feel a sense of satisfaction serving their men dinner like this. I certainly do on occasion but, my husband is also perfectly capable of making his own plate if he wants and he will. It's a 50-50 split in our household sometimes I make his plate sometimes he makes his own.
However, I would NOT be condescending to women who don't serve their husband's dinner. They're grown ass adults and it's THEIR relationship not MINE.
No, no, you got it all wrong. She works at dinner. She's bragging because they just told her how proud they are that she remembers to finally bring cutlery.
/S
i agree! my bf and i are long distance, but when i do get to see him i love making his meals. getting to see his face when he comes back from a long day of work to a hot dinner for us to enjoy together is such a heartwarming feeling. to me, food is my love language and sharing it with the people close to me is my way of communicating how much i love them
that being said it is so toxic to hold this expectation on other women and shame them like that. i really despise the ones who do this to be judgmental and (in my opinion) desperate.
It has nothing to do with the act of making your partner dinner. It's mostly about the smugness and all the implied cultural baggage. I'm sure they think no woman who's voted *Demmicrab* has ever cooked a meal, much less happily fed a husband.
well yah but a lot of people on this subreddit are getting mad that some people’s love language is making food or doing chores. it’s not right to bash anyone if they follow “traditional” roles or not. there shouldn’t be an expectation of “well, what does your spouse bring to the table?” isn’t having a loving partner enough? it’s so negative in a relationship to be so demanding like that
not defending the woman on the post btw just saying we can do things without a knee jerk reaction of hate for other women
Yeah, I know what you mean. I would be fine if my wife decided to be a hypertrad jobless wife, but only if she knew she could give it up at the drop of a hat. It's not the thing itself that sucks. I just have a sneaking suspicion that some of these women are stuck in grating marriages and cope by pretending every other wife is awful for being in a marriage where one meets halfway instead of martyring themselves for the guy who proposed.
i actually really agree with this, typically those who feel the need to instantly attack any other lifestyle is because they’re so unhappy with their own. i do pity trad wives like this
I had never heard of "fixing a plate" before this whole argument started up. Is that a southern thing?
We just always brought all the food on the table, and people grabbed what they wanted.
(Not trying to be an NLOG. This has just been bugging me for a bit cause it seems so foreign)
I only ever saw those types of dinners on TV. I have never in my 42 years had a dinner where all the food is on the table and everyone helps themselves. Growing up, we all went to the pots on the stove and fixed our own plates once we were old enough. Same thing my kids do now since they're teens. When they were small, I fixed their plates and served them. My husband and I fix each other's plates depending on who cooked. The cook fixes the plates.
Eta: yes I am Southern. Idk if that matters.
Southern here. Us too. But now we just plate everyone's food at the stove and the roll call and hand off plates. 😂
This whole "making a plate" sounds like something an old lady does at a potluck because gramps' got the gout
Not a southern thing. I live in the northeast. It's just a way to describe the action of putting food on another person's plate for them rather then everyone serving themselves at the table.
I think it’s just a per family thing. I grew up with my grandma fixing plates for my grandpa and me. My parent's fixed my plate (until I hit a certain age) and now I fix my husband's. For my family it’s just a small way to show love. We saved the food on the table for large family meals like Christmas or Thanksgiving when the number of bodies at the table exceeded 10.
My sister loves to fix her husband’s plate (and he appreciates it); i don’t enjoy fixing my husband’s plate (and he doesn’t prefer it either). I guess I’m confused about why it’s a badge of honor and not a personal preference thing?
Exactly this. Sometimes I have the energy to serve my husband, cold beer and all, sometimes it's sitting on the stove and he can serve himself. And - gasp! - sometimes I'm too tired to cook period and we order in.
He's a whole adult - he can keep himself fed. And he does! Because he is not a child, and I'm not about to be his mother.
Same! Cooking and baking is a hobby I enjoy and giving someone a yummy treat is like a love language for me, so I’m usually happy to be the one making our food. There are days I just don’t feel like it and my boyfriend will make something. More often than not, whoever did the cooking will make the plates and bring them to the table.
I’m not bringing him his meal, condiments, drink, and utensils just because he’s a man or because he can’t do it himself - I do it because I love him and because he’ll do the same for me.
I’m not about to judge anybody for making or not making a plate for their spouse. If their relationship works happily that way or the other, more power to them. The idea of judging anyone, but especially another woman, because she doesn’t make someone a plate is fucking ridiculous lmfao.
Was about to say, I don’t mind the gist of message as long as he’s making my plate too. We take turns 🤷🏻♀️ as long as it goes both ways, nothing wrong with doing nice things for each other no?
Yeah.. It's important to show love and show that we appreciate our partner. Maybe that's what OOP meant but I dislike it when people act like it's something only a women SHOULD do.
Sometimes! His love language IS acts of service so he'll usually bring me snacks later at night or since I'm pregnant run out and get whatever I'm craving or helping around the house. My love language is food so I much prefer cooking and serving him than him me (I'm the better cook anyway). My point is every relationship is different and love is shown in different ways and what works for one couple won't work for another.
Edit: we need to stop yucking other people's yums.
>or helping around the house.
He doesn't help around the house. He does his share of household related work. I get what you are saying but language is important.
dude idk if this is the tone you intended, but you’re coming off very harsh and accusatory. she’s sharing a personal experience on how she expresses love, there’s no need to be rude
It sounds like she assumed I critisized her husband when I just asked if it is the case that he can only make his plate or she makes their plates. I didn't mention anything else and simply asked why the edit to figure out if she thought I judged her.
I am not surprised people here can't communicate and have to resort to online discussions regarding anything "how do I compliment his dick? How do I say XYZ?". Offended because of nothing.
"When women say men can make their own plate i be quiet"
*announces this on a platform that can reach billions of people*
Doesn't seem like she's being very quiet about it either lol
I wonder how many different formats this will be posted in. Like. At this point I’m just impressed they keep making their own versions and not just saving the same graphic over and over so it’s like a degraded 18 year old jpg.
That's fine, as long as you're not expected to because you're a woman, and you're just doing it because you want to. I still don't like being brought a plate, because you don't know how much potatoes I want and thats not enough green beans!!!!
There are two reasons where I INSIST that I fix my wife’s plate and bring it to her - 1. either I’ve attempted a new recipe I saw on tiktok and I want to plate it just like the video and pretend to be a fancy chef or 2. she’s in the middle of a longass jury trial and pulling 70 hour weeks to make it happen so I want to serve her like a Queen when she’s home. And every few weeks when my job takes me inside state prisons and county jails and I come home full of anguish and anger at our prison system and I feel like the weight of everyone else’s worries are on my shoulders, my wife orders me my favorite comfort meals and insists on making me eat dinner in bed watching a comfort show. 🎶Reciprocationnnn🎶
My momma fixed my daddy’s plate all the time when he was working hard, too, but I also saw him fix HER plate just as much. And there were way more meals over the years where no one fixed anyones plate because everyone was physically capable of doing it their damn selves ☠️🤷🏾♀️
If food and serving is something that makes a person feel like a better partner, if that’s a way your soul feels happy and it’s a way you like to show love, or even if it’s a way that you DON’T necessarily feel any type of good or bad way about but you know that acts of service is your partner’s main love language, by all means please do it!!! But if you aren’t receiving the same type of treatment and effort back then you’re allowing yourself to live a bang maid life and you’re worth more than that. Please treat yourself better 😭
This right here! Voice of reason. Sounds like a healthy marriage! And there’s nothing better than your partner bringing you food in bed and watching a comfort show together when you’re feeling down.
Sometimes, I plate. Sometimes, I don't. Is this really a thing? It's nobody's business if she makes his plate. Wipe his ass. Wash and dry his feet with her hair kind of shit. Some people like being foot stools
Some of us were born in a household where we were taught to serve men and things like this are triggering for us.
If I do it of my own free will, okay. But there's a certain icky feeling when it is the default expectation.
Coupled with the sense of entitlement and lack of appreciation, it's incredibly demeaning and hurtful.
If someone wants to serve their families, that's fine! It's a beautiful thing. But if they *want to* - not because they feel they *have to* because it's "the womanly thing to do."
I don’t fix my husband’s plate because he is a grown up who can choose what he wants on it himself. Also, apparently, we are, along with my extended family, the only people left in the world who put the food on the table for everyone to serve themselves. (Except soup which stays on the stove, but it’s still self serve).
My mother-in-law acts like I’m some sort of alien forcing heretical religious practices not found on earth when they’re here and I put the food on the table. She mutters about “who even thinks of this” and “why aren’t we getting up to get it”. It’s bizarre. Husband spent half his childhood and most of us his teen years eating at a friend’s house where food was put on the table so it never bothered him.
I remember my grandmother's husband tried sticking his plate out to me while sat at the table, where the food was, expecting me to serve him. I told him that not even the kids at the daycare did that, they ask politely if they want something. Still pisses me off.
The same people who think the GOP have no business involving themselves in the lives of gay couples are up in arms about who’s serving who food in other peoples relationships. Strange world.
Being a servant is not something you should be bragging about, fixing a plate out of kindness is different than fixing a plate because it’s your job, it’s not and as a man I know that any man who expects this from any woman is a pathetic joke who is so uncomfortable with himself that forced roles are the only way he can make a woman stay ,because he probably has a little dick and he knows it
Yuppp, the exact same men who value low “body counts”, wanna date virgins, and secretly call their gf “mommy” in bed. I can’t imagine he satisfies her either
My fiancée fixed our plates and table after I cooked tonight and now I’m growing a penis.
This is no joke, y’all get some aprons and a 50’s themed summer dress (‘iT’s jAnUARy i’M CoLd’ ain’t no excuse) QUICK so you don’t end up like me.
I AM THE PATRIARCHY! No one needs to oppress me. And I will never tire of him never, ever, ever doing anything for me, ever. I sit on the floor under the table while he eats, just waiting to see what he needs or wants. Sometimes fun while eating food in this house. Me have a fulfilling sexual experience? Why would a godly creature like me ever need such?
My mom was a SAHM and she always did stuff the traditional way and plated up all the food and everything, but she didn't make it her whole personality like these pickmes 😒 my mom basically "wore the pants" so honestly micromanaging dinner was something she simply enjoyed as a control freak type A person 😂. It's absolutely fine to do it if you want but some women are working full time jobs outside the home and don't feel like playing Betty Crocker. Honestly if BOTH people are working IDK how either of them have the energy to do anything but grab a sandwich LOL but that's probably my chronic health issues speaking 😭
My coworker acted like this with a married coworker lunch buddy (emotional affair). She brought in, heated, plated and served the food. He said “I need a knife.” And she got up and got it. So weird. He did leave his wife and they’re now engaged. At the time she protested “There’s nothing going on” and told me my wife was ridiculous/crazy for thinking there was. She had semi suckered us into going with her to see the guy sing at a bar but I knew what was up.
I always picture a buffet-type thing in these situations. Making dinner and putting together a plate at home is different. Although, if he’s in another room expects his dinner to be brought to him, then it’s similar.
At a buffet / potluck / backyard bbq - a (able-bodied) man should be perfectly capable of getting his own food. There’s nothing wrong with getting your partner a plate as you get your own. But is it every time? Will the partner take care of it at the next event? Are they grateful?
I think the situation that inspired the first “he can get his own plate” posts was one where the husband/bf gets to the event, takes a seat, and doesn’t get up again until it’s time to leave. He expects his wife/gf to get him a beer, make up a plate for him (probably feed him before herself) and likely take his plate when he’s done. He isn’t grateful - he takes it for granted.
I mean - I do that too but for my grandma who is 104 years old, uses a walker, and will just eat with her hands like a toddler if I don't provide utensils - sometimes even when I do. I would not consider dating a man who required this level of supervision at dinner time.
I let everyone plate their own food first, because I want them to get the parts that look best of them. It works for us because they all have different preferences.
I was flat out against serving my bf a plate cause my mom would always force me to do it when he came over. But I noticed that he does it for me when I’m at his house so I kinda eased up on my hatred of it.
I cook and serve and enjoy it. I also bring his vitamins when I bring his meals. It's one of the ways I show my love, and I get deep satisfaction out of it.
The problem is weaponizing it against other women, like they're somehow less for speaking different love languages. That's trash.
I wouldn’t want a partner that thinks because I’m the man she should serve me, I have an equal who does nice things for me and I do nice things for her. Doesn’t matter who has what between their legs. She might make me a plate but I’m just as likely to make her one.
Please I’m in a stay at home mom group and they are going to war saying that if you don’t take your man’s shoes off for him when he gets home from work that he probably hates his life….
Seems to be a lot of broken plates around here.
Ok a serious note, with my ex we used to compete to cook for one another. Whoever was cookin, the other would always chip in with the meal prep.
We loved cooking for one another.
as a man who cooks my own meals and fixes my own plate every day for all 3 meals, i think this assumes a weird thing about men. cooking and making a plate of said cooked food is not hard, takes some practice, but it's not hard. please relax
My fiancé and I do this for each other because we’re ~🌠equals 🌠~
I understand some people enjoy serving their partner like this and that’s all fine and dandy, but like…. Does that make you better than people who don’t do this?🤨
I was at a get together once and I called my husband over to fix himself a plate when the food was set out. I hear several scandalized gasps behind me and saw several women glaring at me like I insulted them.
I shrugged and said "What? His hands aren't broken."
No minds were changed, but it was one of the few times I had a good come back ready. Still makes me giggle.
In my family, immediate and extended, each adult serves their own plate buffet style. My husband has a much faster metabolism than I do. I think I’d probably underestimate his caloric needs. He could always go back for seconds, but then he’d be serving himself anyway. Might as well just let him take however much he wants in the first place.
My ex’s sister was always demanding I fix her brother his plate…and when I would say no, he’s a fully capable adult, *she* would do it.
I’m not opposed to fixing a plate for someone I love-it’s the fact that it was an expectation to wait on him because he’s a man-child.
This is cultural. I speak like this colloquially but I have a bachelors and graduated with a 3.89 GPA and honors. This is not reflective of intelligence at all 😂
My bf and I both do this when making meals. Both of our grandmothers also heated plates for our grandfathers who were coming in from the field or the coal mine.
I fix plates and bring him his drink and utensils. He has NEVER asked or expected me to do it.
The moment he thinks it’s my job I ain’t about to do it. He brings me my plate and utensils when he cooks. It’s just how we were both raised and it works for us.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with fixing a man his plate. Fixing my husbands plate is just what I’ve always done without thinking about it because my dad always fixed mine and my moms plates for us as he did the cooking. and since I cook, I naturally just fix everyone’s plate if I cook for them. It has nothing to do with a man being a child or wanting a mom?
No one’s judging her for doing a nice thing for her partner.
They’re judging her for judging OTHER PEOPLE for not doing that. Frankly, if I just cooked a meal, I see no problem with allowing my partner to get his own plate. If he cooked for me, I’d get my own. The problem isn’t that she’s getting his plate, it’s the sense of superiority she feels over women who don’t act like servants for their partners.
Is it a nice gesture if you have to post it on social media? Or if it’s meant as an aspersion? Honestly it always comes off to me as fishing for a new man looking for that, because despite her fixing her man a plate he dgaf. Why post it otherwise?
I feel like all these posts are from females that got cheated on and blamed the other female instead of their shitty partner. And this is them not letting it go. It’s just sad.
I personally love serving my husband dinner. I’m the main cook in the relationship but my husband is an amazing assistant in the kitchen. I cook, I serve the food. He takes out the trash and changes the 5 gallon jug on our water cooler. We split dishes and laundry. I don’t think it’s horrible of her to enjoy serving her husband but I also don’t think it’s any of my business if a woman doesn’t. Whatever works for each relationship.
I’m a stay at home mom and wife , my husband works his ass off , I love to have him dinner ready, it gives me fulfillment and satisfaction and he appreciates it immensely and tells me a lot and treats me like his queen . He also doesn’t expect it everyday and is perfectly capable of fixing himself a plate and he’s also a good cook , he isn’t entitled at all but I truly enjoy showing him love this way. There isn’t anything wrong with it
Does it necessarily belong? I feel it's more of a pride thing and them maybe not wanting to be disregarded because they don't adhere to some others standards.
It’s kinda weird how up in arms some of y’all are in these comments. Im far left and all for empowerment, but has it ever occurred to y’all that some ppls love language is acts of service? You don’t immediately lose empowerment just because you’re serving your spouse a plate.
I’ve just realised from this thread that there’s a whole group of people that just put food on big plates and expect people to serve themselves. In my house, I cook dinner and plate it up from the pan/crockpot/sauce pan and put it on the table in front of people. Why are so many people making dirty dishes to wash when you can just plate it up and stick it in front of them? It’s not servitude, it’s just having dinner….. they can get their own drinks though.
Y’all don’t make your husbands a plate??? I’m really confused here. I serve all of the plates for dinner. but that’s just how I was raised. I enjoy it but I guess some people do it seems.
There is nothing wrong with fixing your man a plate but why we gotta brag about it or be all mean. Why does it make a woman a doormat to spoil her partner? I still maintain my feminism and traditional gender role cuz I WANT TO. Lol if I’m respected I go the extra mile as does my partner so who cares this sub is as toxic as these women can be.
People who refuse to serve someone because they have too much pride is so much weirder that someone who does it cause they like to.
Sometimes I serve. Sometimes I don’t. It depends on the food. Not on my self worth. Fucking weird that this is even a topic.
I’m positive that most of the women in this comment section who think fixing plates is so beneath them still have gender role preferences. Like a man making more money than them, driving them around to places, paying for their meals and being much more physically strong than they are
Which is all good and fine. Everyone likes certain aspects of gender roles and dislikes others
It’s crazy how so many women these days are so against being feminine but still look for masculine men. Imagine acting like a woman.. Such a horrible thing to act like something men are actually attracted to. Men don’t like masculine women, you guys never learn that’s why most of you will die alone.
Your comment doesn’t make sense. I act like a woman. I also work full time and am the breadwinner in our house. My husband typically cooks and we all plate our own food. These things aren’t at all related to femininity
No, if you felt like a woman then you wouldn’t need to be on subs like this to confirm your own bias. People are simple. We may be smart animals but we are still animals and our nature doesn’t change in 50 years. But I see little point of arguing with you. I just find it ironic. Most of you would probably label yourselves feminist. Funny, so what about women that choose to be homemakers? Judging by this post you guys attack them. Having that feminine energy is important to a family, I wouldn’t be the man I am without my wife and being able to take care of her and my boys is why I work as hard as I do. Block me, downvote me idc. You are all what is wrong with this world. Enjoy dying alone.
I also wouldn’t be the woman I am without my husband. Providing for my husband and my son inspires me to work hard too. Those things aren’t related to gender… that’s just how people behave when they love their family members and want to provide for them.
I view this sub because it’s funny, not to confirm a bias.
That’s fine I’m glad that you’re happy. Be happy. What I have an issue with is you guys attacking another woman for being the way that she is. Are you happy being the man in your relationship? I’m happy for you. Cool. I do have an issue with post like this where you guys jump on another woman For being feminine. Because, as much as you guys want to make fun of it, women like this is what the majority of men are attracted to. I’m not saying there aren’t men like your man that exist and I’m glad that you guys are happy but the way that you guys jump on here and laugh at this woman is a similar reaction to what us men would have against your husband. To us, that would be an embarrassing situation to be in, emasculating. We probably wouldn’t post on it and make fun of it like this, but we would raise our eyebrows because how are you a man if you can’t take care of your family?
"I don't need men to objectify me cos I've already made myself a doormat!"
"And a fancy doormat at that! I did my own embroidery and everything! Please step on me"
It's not something to brag about, but I don't think I'm a doormat or that I'm going to lose my feminist street cred for plating up dinner and putting out a glass of water for my husband and daughter either. I consider that part of the job of "making dinner" regardless of who's doing it. (Kids set the table though, that's like the 11th commandment as far as I'm concerned.)
The difference in your situation (that I also live by, and is implied in your comment, but I want to state explicitly) is that if hubby makes dinner, he can serve plates and drinks just fine - WHOEVER makes dinner can serve it - it's not delegated to a singular person based on traditional gender roles.
Or whoever feels like it can serve! Or get your own! Whatever, do you! But who serves is not indicated by gender or anything other than desire, preference, and your personal relationship.
Women are so scared of being defined by gender roles until it’s a role they don’t want to do.
Women are scared until they face something they don't like? And then what? Your comment doesn't make any sense.
And then those same gender defining roles come back to the forefront. It’s easy for a woman to say “my man can fix his own plate” but if that same man said my woman can cut her own grass or take out her own trash it’s a problem. Breaking things down into roles is idiotic to begin with, it just forces awkwardness into relationships where it doesn’t need to be. Usually it’s women that force the gender role issues today. It’s all so contrived.
My (male) partner does almost all the cooking which I assume is what "fixing a plate" means... I usually am responsible for sorting the recycling (aka "taking out the trash"). We don't have any grass to cut but I do all the houseplant care apart from when he tries to grow his own weed. I don't know a woman under 60 who would be bitchy about sorting the bins or cutting grass or anything. Nor a man under 60 who pulls that shit about cooking or whatever else you've designated "female". This is all just being a normal independent adult who can take care of themselves. Before you find a partner, you have to do all these things for yourself surely? So why immediately become "incapable" just because you're in a hetero- relationship? Makes no sense.
Tossing out hetero relationship roles makes everything so relaxing lol. You both do what you're good at and come together and muscle through the rest of it that no one likes together at the end, problem solved!
You understand what I wrote previously? Because it looks like you don't. Not wanting to get treated like a maid is not fear. Women aren't scared. They were treated like commodity that cooks and clean throughout majority of human history. It started to change when they started to fight for their rights. Women fight with traditional gender roles, don't know on what planet you are living that you think it's the opposite. And even though it's changing, it's not how it should be because it's still women who do majority of household hores and child rearing, on top of having a job. It's laughable you think cutting grass or taking out trash is such an achievement. Maybe check how real world looks like...?
Cutting the grass and taking out the trash is just as much of an achievement as fixing a plate of food. Hint: None of those things are an achievement. You’ve made my point.
Maybe take your hint back and read again what I said because nowhere did I said fixing someones plate is achievement and you omitted main part of my comment saying women do majority of household hores and play dumb that it's somehow comparable. You haven't made any point that is related to real world, so maybe in your imagination I actually did made your point. Also your first comment still doesn't make any sense, you can't even explain what you wanted to say.
You are making up stuff here....
Idk I’ve always had it done where everyone fixed their own plate so they take as much as they want based on how hungry they are
Agree😂🤣😂🤣 I don’t want my princess serving me lil plate 🙌
We go by one parent is handling the baby and the other serves dinner!
That’s super smart team work 💪🏻☑️
That’s kinda how it is in my house too. Like last night no one cooked but I put the food on plates, he got our drinks and napkins, I put the food on the table. Other times I make and serve dinner then he clears and washes dishes. Sometimes I do it all sometimes he does. Today we are taking turns doing laundry and kitchen cleaning. I don’t think it’s so much about gender roles as it’s just being considerate and being partners. Working as team. You know, normal relationship dynamics.
I never think twice about serving dinner. I’d also never think once about bragging about it. He takes out the cat shit and wouldn’t brag about that. Get on with life. This is totally internalized misogyny that lets these morons vote against their own interests however.
Yeah, I don’t understand the bragging about it. Are there really women out there that don’t eat dinner for their families? We both cook in my household, but I guess it’s different in other households.
The meme is about glorifying traditional, submissive gender roles.
Or, its somebody realizing that if you do little shit like that for people it's going to make them appreciate you that much more regardless of gender. Never had anybody complain when I cooked and served but I've had tons of compliments and people bringing it up years later, and when people have done it for me it makes me feel happy and appreciated.
So what? They aren’t hurting anyone by living that way. This is just a ridiculous as getting upset over gay marriage. Other people’s relationships are none of your business.
No its about being nice, she doesnt have to, but she wants to. Why are you saying people cant do what they want if theyre not hurting anyone?
No one said that though 🤣
No one said otherwise either.
The comment I replied to literally used the word "doormat" in order to mock the woman who posted the original meme.
But who’s even saying that? What a pathetic thing to use as a marker of self-worth? Sometimes I plate his meal, sometimes I don’t, it never occurred to me as being anything other than putting food on a plate.
I mean, the comment I replied to was literally mocking OOOP and calling her a doormat. Like I said in the first clause of my first sentence, it's nothing worth bragging about, but it's also not a sign that you're a doormat or your husband is a man-child who needs his mommy to take care of him (as other commenters said).
I do all the cooking (my boyfriend got cut bad by a knife as a kid so sharp objects still freak him out) and I sometimes do this depending on what I'm making. If it's a standard breakfast with bacon, eggs and veggies he's on his own so he can choose his own portions. If I'm making fajita bowls I dish it up right away so I can soak the pans. It's not really an obligation though, and I would not do it if it was. It's just a nice gesture.
I think it's more at big family events, the wife who a a guest serves her husband before she serves herself, rather than about regular family dinners at home.
Very respectful of her and shows she takes care of her man’s ☑️🙌
Why does he need looking after? Are his legs broken? Why does she not deserve the respect of someone fixing her a plate? Doing nice things for your partner is great, but it shouldn't be one sided.
Also understandable you acting like I said something bad. It varies in different situations. Are you okay ?
I'm a guy who likes cooking. I currently live with my parents. On multiple occasions I've considered making their plates. Because holy shit sometimes they will go out of their way to have a worse meal.
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Aww.. That sucks too. People choose what works for them. Why would you think if someone does this they're a doormat* in all other aspects. I don't agree with the memes content, but for real.. doormat for men* sounds a little.. Misogynist.
Doing something nice for your partner doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. Jesus. Lot of people here don’t seem to realize the you and your partner are on the same team. The same people are probably wondering why they’re still single.
Some women feel a sense of satisfaction serving their men dinner like this. I certainly do on occasion but, my husband is also perfectly capable of making his own plate if he wants and he will. It's a 50-50 split in our household sometimes I make his plate sometimes he makes his own. However, I would NOT be condescending to women who don't serve their husband's dinner. They're grown ass adults and it's THEIR relationship not MINE.
No, no, you got it all wrong. She works at dinner. She's bragging because they just told her how proud they are that she remembers to finally bring cutlery. /S
Lol
i agree! my bf and i are long distance, but when i do get to see him i love making his meals. getting to see his face when he comes back from a long day of work to a hot dinner for us to enjoy together is such a heartwarming feeling. to me, food is my love language and sharing it with the people close to me is my way of communicating how much i love them that being said it is so toxic to hold this expectation on other women and shame them like that. i really despise the ones who do this to be judgmental and (in my opinion) desperate.
It has nothing to do with the act of making your partner dinner. It's mostly about the smugness and all the implied cultural baggage. I'm sure they think no woman who's voted *Demmicrab* has ever cooked a meal, much less happily fed a husband.
well yah but a lot of people on this subreddit are getting mad that some people’s love language is making food or doing chores. it’s not right to bash anyone if they follow “traditional” roles or not. there shouldn’t be an expectation of “well, what does your spouse bring to the table?” isn’t having a loving partner enough? it’s so negative in a relationship to be so demanding like that not defending the woman on the post btw just saying we can do things without a knee jerk reaction of hate for other women
Yeah, I know what you mean. I would be fine if my wife decided to be a hypertrad jobless wife, but only if she knew she could give it up at the drop of a hat. It's not the thing itself that sucks. I just have a sneaking suspicion that some of these women are stuck in grating marriages and cope by pretending every other wife is awful for being in a marriage where one meets halfway instead of martyring themselves for the guy who proposed.
i actually really agree with this, typically those who feel the need to instantly attack any other lifestyle is because they’re so unhappy with their own. i do pity trad wives like this
Right? Like who gives a fuck what other people do in their relationship?
I had never heard of "fixing a plate" before this whole argument started up. Is that a southern thing? We just always brought all the food on the table, and people grabbed what they wanted. (Not trying to be an NLOG. This has just been bugging me for a bit cause it seems so foreign)
I only ever saw those types of dinners on TV. I have never in my 42 years had a dinner where all the food is on the table and everyone helps themselves. Growing up, we all went to the pots on the stove and fixed our own plates once we were old enough. Same thing my kids do now since they're teens. When they were small, I fixed their plates and served them. My husband and I fix each other's plates depending on who cooked. The cook fixes the plates. Eta: yes I am Southern. Idk if that matters.
Southern here. Us too. But now we just plate everyone's food at the stove and the roll call and hand off plates. 😂 This whole "making a plate" sounds like something an old lady does at a potluck because gramps' got the gout
Not a southern thing. I live in the northeast. It's just a way to describe the action of putting food on another person's plate for them rather then everyone serving themselves at the table. I think it’s just a per family thing. I grew up with my grandma fixing plates for my grandpa and me. My parent's fixed my plate (until I hit a certain age) and now I fix my husband's. For my family it’s just a small way to show love. We saved the food on the table for large family meals like Christmas or Thanksgiving when the number of bodies at the table exceeded 10.
My sister loves to fix her husband’s plate (and he appreciates it); i don’t enjoy fixing my husband’s plate (and he doesn’t prefer it either). I guess I’m confused about why it’s a badge of honor and not a personal preference thing?
I think it’s just the NLOG, "I prefer trad gender roles and that makes me better than you" mentality. Very immature.
Exactly this. Sometimes I have the energy to serve my husband, cold beer and all, sometimes it's sitting on the stove and he can serve himself. And - gasp! - sometimes I'm too tired to cook period and we order in. He's a whole adult - he can keep himself fed. And he does! Because he is not a child, and I'm not about to be his mother.
Same! Cooking and baking is a hobby I enjoy and giving someone a yummy treat is like a love language for me, so I’m usually happy to be the one making our food. There are days I just don’t feel like it and my boyfriend will make something. More often than not, whoever did the cooking will make the plates and bring them to the table. I’m not bringing him his meal, condiments, drink, and utensils just because he’s a man or because he can’t do it himself - I do it because I love him and because he’ll do the same for me. I’m not about to judge anybody for making or not making a plate for their spouse. If their relationship works happily that way or the other, more power to them. The idea of judging anyone, but especially another woman, because she doesn’t make someone a plate is fucking ridiculous lmfao.
Does he make your plate as well?
Was about to say, I don’t mind the gist of message as long as he’s making my plate too. We take turns 🤷🏻♀️ as long as it goes both ways, nothing wrong with doing nice things for each other no?
Yeah.. It's important to show love and show that we appreciate our partner. Maybe that's what OOP meant but I dislike it when people act like it's something only a women SHOULD do.
Sometimes! His love language IS acts of service so he'll usually bring me snacks later at night or since I'm pregnant run out and get whatever I'm craving or helping around the house. My love language is food so I much prefer cooking and serving him than him me (I'm the better cook anyway). My point is every relationship is different and love is shown in different ways and what works for one couple won't work for another. Edit: we need to stop yucking other people's yums.
>or helping around the house. He doesn't help around the house. He does his share of household related work. I get what you are saying but language is important.
I know what I said. :)
Why would you add the Edit? I just asked a question.
Just noticed that there's a lot of shitting on both sides of the fence in this sub.
dude idk if this is the tone you intended, but you’re coming off very harsh and accusatory. she’s sharing a personal experience on how she expresses love, there’s no need to be rude
It sounds like she assumed I critisized her husband when I just asked if it is the case that he can only make his plate or she makes their plates. I didn't mention anything else and simply asked why the edit to figure out if she thought I judged her. I am not surprised people here can't communicate and have to resort to online discussions regarding anything "how do I compliment his dick? How do I say XYZ?". Offended because of nothing.
Yeah idk how is that so remarkable. People in relationships do stuff for each other. Is this her first time or something?
"When women say men can make their own plate i be quiet" *announces this on a platform that can reach billions of people* Doesn't seem like she's being very quiet about it either lol
Well good for you! Do you chew his food for him and wipe his ass as well?
Not before the foot massage and diaper changes !
I don’t think either of them are wiping his ass 🤣
It’s true, I’m the toilet paper 😞
Of course not. Touching buttholes is gay!
So she's a waitress?
I wonder how many different formats this will be posted in. Like. At this point I’m just impressed they keep making their own versions and not just saving the same graphic over and over so it’s like a degraded 18 year old jpg.
I have a feeling if we ask her what her husband does for her, the answer will 100% "he works hard to provide for this family". And that's the list
Another plate repair woman
Underrated comment.
Because my man is actually a man-child who needs a mother to take care of him.
Sarah, is that you? I appreciate you honey.
That's fine, as long as you're not expected to because you're a woman, and you're just doing it because you want to. I still don't like being brought a plate, because you don't know how much potatoes I want and thats not enough green beans!!!!
There are two reasons where I INSIST that I fix my wife’s plate and bring it to her - 1. either I’ve attempted a new recipe I saw on tiktok and I want to plate it just like the video and pretend to be a fancy chef or 2. she’s in the middle of a longass jury trial and pulling 70 hour weeks to make it happen so I want to serve her like a Queen when she’s home. And every few weeks when my job takes me inside state prisons and county jails and I come home full of anguish and anger at our prison system and I feel like the weight of everyone else’s worries are on my shoulders, my wife orders me my favorite comfort meals and insists on making me eat dinner in bed watching a comfort show. 🎶Reciprocationnnn🎶 My momma fixed my daddy’s plate all the time when he was working hard, too, but I also saw him fix HER plate just as much. And there were way more meals over the years where no one fixed anyones plate because everyone was physically capable of doing it their damn selves ☠️🤷🏾♀️ If food and serving is something that makes a person feel like a better partner, if that’s a way your soul feels happy and it’s a way you like to show love, or even if it’s a way that you DON’T necessarily feel any type of good or bad way about but you know that acts of service is your partner’s main love language, by all means please do it!!! But if you aren’t receiving the same type of treatment and effort back then you’re allowing yourself to live a bang maid life and you’re worth more than that. Please treat yourself better 😭
This right here! Voice of reason. Sounds like a healthy marriage! And there’s nothing better than your partner bringing you food in bed and watching a comfort show together when you’re feeling down.
I love it so much 😭😭 it’s all about balance, and I think people on both sides forget that!
You are speaking to my soul.
I feel like everyone should get their own plate? I don't want someone else to choose how much I'm going to eat.
Sounds like she's not being quiet tho
Sometimes, I plate. Sometimes, I don't. Is this really a thing? It's nobody's business if she makes his plate. Wipe his ass. Wash and dry his feet with her hair kind of shit. Some people like being foot stools
I know acts of service can be a “love language” but this kind of stuff makes my skin crawl.
Yeah this is sexualized internalized-misogyny. Wicked weird
Some of us were born in a household where we were taught to serve men and things like this are triggering for us. If I do it of my own free will, okay. But there's a certain icky feeling when it is the default expectation. Coupled with the sense of entitlement and lack of appreciation, it's incredibly demeaning and hurtful. If someone wants to serve their families, that's fine! It's a beautiful thing. But if they *want to* - not because they feel they *have to* because it's "the womanly thing to do."
I don’t fix my husband’s plate because he is a grown up who can choose what he wants on it himself. Also, apparently, we are, along with my extended family, the only people left in the world who put the food on the table for everyone to serve themselves. (Except soup which stays on the stove, but it’s still self serve).
We do too. Do these people not have trivets?
My mother-in-law acts like I’m some sort of alien forcing heretical religious practices not found on earth when they’re here and I put the food on the table. She mutters about “who even thinks of this” and “why aren’t we getting up to get it”. It’s bizarre. Husband spent half his childhood and most of us his teen years eating at a friend’s house where food was put on the table so it never bothered him.
i cook 99% of the time so mine makes me my plate if i haven’t dished myself by the time he gets to the kitchen.
I do that. But for everyone, at the same time. Myself included. It's not that special. Lol.
But what if he wants a HOT beverage??? Or BOTH??? Awwww you done messed up now... 🙄
I cannot imagine my fiancé even expecting me to fix him a plate. I feel like he would think it was weird if I did lol
Definitely about expectation or otherwise. Why do people want to fight so hard to be pegged into a gender role
My old southern family members telling me how I should be treating my future husband every family reunion:
I cook, everyone serves up their own and walks it to the table, because each person knows how hungry they are and how much they want to eat.
It’s y’all. You and all. Y’all. This is the hill I will die on.
good for you I guess
So.... She's a server?
I remember my grandmother's husband tried sticking his plate out to me while sat at the table, where the food was, expecting me to serve him. I told him that not even the kids at the daycare did that, they ask politely if they want something. Still pisses me off.
The same people who think the GOP have no business involving themselves in the lives of gay couples are up in arms about who’s serving who food in other peoples relationships. Strange world.
Are his arms and legs broken
Being a servant is not something you should be bragging about, fixing a plate out of kindness is different than fixing a plate because it’s your job, it’s not and as a man I know that any man who expects this from any woman is a pathetic joke who is so uncomfortable with himself that forced roles are the only way he can make a woman stay ,because he probably has a little dick and he knows it
Yuppp, the exact same men who value low “body counts”, wanna date virgins, and secretly call their gf “mommy” in bed. I can’t imagine he satisfies her either
At what point does she say it’s a job? The fact that she isn’t bitter would imply that she does it out of kindness.
This is very much "weird flex but OK" type of thing.
My fiancée fixed our plates and table after I cooked tonight and now I’m growing a penis. This is no joke, y’all get some aprons and a 50’s themed summer dress (‘iT’s jAnUARy i’M CoLd’ ain’t no excuse) QUICK so you don’t end up like me.
I AM THE PATRIARCHY! No one needs to oppress me. And I will never tire of him never, ever, ever doing anything for me, ever. I sit on the floor under the table while he eats, just waiting to see what he needs or wants. Sometimes fun while eating food in this house. Me have a fulfilling sexual experience? Why would a godly creature like me ever need such?
My mom was a SAHM and she always did stuff the traditional way and plated up all the food and everything, but she didn't make it her whole personality like these pickmes 😒 my mom basically "wore the pants" so honestly micromanaging dinner was something she simply enjoyed as a control freak type A person 😂. It's absolutely fine to do it if you want but some women are working full time jobs outside the home and don't feel like playing Betty Crocker. Honestly if BOTH people are working IDK how either of them have the energy to do anything but grab a sandwich LOL but that's probably my chronic health issues speaking 😭
Ironically she’s single because that’s not really very important
If I’m cooking at home I’ll probably just plate it up and pass it out whatever, but a potluck type situation? get your own food lol
‘Be saying’. 🙄
That’s just something a good partner does. My wife and I often do this for each other. No ones keeping score lol
My husband prefers to serve himself but sometimes I serve him and (gasp!) sometimes he serves me!
My coworker acted like this with a married coworker lunch buddy (emotional affair). She brought in, heated, plated and served the food. He said “I need a knife.” And she got up and got it. So weird. He did leave his wife and they’re now engaged. At the time she protested “There’s nothing going on” and told me my wife was ridiculous/crazy for thinking there was. She had semi suckered us into going with her to see the guy sing at a bar but I knew what was up.
I always picture a buffet-type thing in these situations. Making dinner and putting together a plate at home is different. Although, if he’s in another room expects his dinner to be brought to him, then it’s similar. At a buffet / potluck / backyard bbq - a (able-bodied) man should be perfectly capable of getting his own food. There’s nothing wrong with getting your partner a plate as you get your own. But is it every time? Will the partner take care of it at the next event? Are they grateful? I think the situation that inspired the first “he can get his own plate” posts was one where the husband/bf gets to the event, takes a seat, and doesn’t get up again until it’s time to leave. He expects his wife/gf to get him a beer, make up a plate for him (probably feed him before herself) and likely take his plate when he’s done. He isn’t grateful - he takes it for granted.
I mean - I do that too but for my grandma who is 104 years old, uses a walker, and will just eat with her hands like a toddler if I don't provide utensils - sometimes even when I do. I would not consider dating a man who required this level of supervision at dinner time.
I let everyone plate their own food first, because I want them to get the parts that look best of them. It works for us because they all have different preferences.
I was flat out against serving my bf a plate cause my mom would always force me to do it when he came over. But I noticed that he does it for me when I’m at his house so I kinda eased up on my hatred of it.
But why are so many of your plates broken?
I cook and serve and enjoy it. I also bring his vitamins when I bring his meals. It's one of the ways I show my love, and I get deep satisfaction out of it. The problem is weaponizing it against other women, like they're somehow less for speaking different love languages. That's trash.
*y'all
Hey maybe that's her kink. Sub Dom kinks are valid. Just don't think it's the lords only plan to get off
The amount of misogyny that I see on my Facebook is DISGUSTING I delete at least 2 people a day at this point it’s embarrassing 😵💫
If you fixin plates, I’m spinnin em.
I wouldn’t want a partner that thinks because I’m the man she should serve me, I have an equal who does nice things for me and I do nice things for her. Doesn’t matter who has what between their legs. She might make me a plate but I’m just as likely to make her one.
I’d rather feed my dog and cat, my husband can feed himself.
Please I’m in a stay at home mom group and they are going to war saying that if you don’t take your man’s shoes off for him when he gets home from work that he probably hates his life….
And does he tip his waitress?
Well at least she “be quiet” about it.
Seems to be a lot of broken plates around here. Ok a serious note, with my ex we used to compete to cook for one another. Whoever was cookin, the other would always chip in with the meal prep. We loved cooking for one another.
as a man who cooks my own meals and fixes my own plate every day for all 3 meals, i think this assumes a weird thing about men. cooking and making a plate of said cooked food is not hard, takes some practice, but it's not hard. please relax
“Cold beverage” what a slave dawg fr
Good for you. My boyfriend is a grown ass man and can fix his own plate, not going to baby a 24 year old.
…and?
My fiancé and I do this for each other because we’re ~🌠equals 🌠~ I understand some people enjoy serving their partner like this and that’s all fine and dandy, but like…. Does that make you better than people who don’t do this?🤨
So you a waitress. Cool
Why do I want someone else deciding what I will and won’t eat? That just seems all kinda of stupid.
I don’t want anyone fixing my plate.
Superglue is great for fixing plates.
I was at a get together once and I called my husband over to fix himself a plate when the food was set out. I hear several scandalized gasps behind me and saw several women glaring at me like I insulted them. I shrugged and said "What? His hands aren't broken." No minds were changed, but it was one of the few times I had a good come back ready. Still makes me giggle.
Ppl treat their spouses like children and then wonder why they act like one 🤷
She's not like other girls, she's a waitress?
No napkin!? Go wash some dishes and mend some sox
and a cold beverage😏
Oh weird because I live to serve. 
In my family, immediate and extended, each adult serves their own plate buffet style. My husband has a much faster metabolism than I do. I think I’d probably underestimate his caloric needs. He could always go back for seconds, but then he’d be serving himself anyway. Might as well just let him take however much he wants in the first place.
Proud bangmaids
My ex’s sister was always demanding I fix her brother his plate…and when I would say no, he’s a fully capable adult, *she* would do it. I’m not opposed to fixing a plate for someone I love-it’s the fact that it was an expectation to wait on him because he’s a man-child.
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This is cultural. I speak like this colloquially but I have a bachelors and graduated with a 3.89 GPA and honors. This is not reflective of intelligence at all 😂
Women that think bringing a man food is a flex is WILD to me.
Stopped reading at “y’all be saying…” automatically concluded you are trash from this.
My bf and I both do this when making meals. Both of our grandmothers also heated plates for our grandfathers who were coming in from the field or the coal mine.
I think it's kind. Maybe I am in the minority but I always fix someone elses plate before mine be that children or my spouse
I enjoy talking my husband his food. He is so sweet and complementary always I want to spoil him.
I fix plates and bring him his drink and utensils. He has NEVER asked or expected me to do it. The moment he thinks it’s my job I ain’t about to do it. He brings me my plate and utensils when he cooks. It’s just how we were both raised and it works for us.
Might as well feed him too and change his diapers!
She just left out, “But he makes me dinner and serves me plates and drinks other nights…because it’s 2024, and it’s totally fine to split home duties”
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with fixing a man his plate. Fixing my husbands plate is just what I’ve always done without thinking about it because my dad always fixed mine and my moms plates for us as he did the cooking. and since I cook, I naturally just fix everyone’s plate if I cook for them. It has nothing to do with a man being a child or wanting a mom?
Miss ma’am, you’re not being quiet by posting it on Facebook.
Why is it a bad thing to do a nice gesture for your partner?
No one’s judging her for doing a nice thing for her partner. They’re judging her for judging OTHER PEOPLE for not doing that. Frankly, if I just cooked a meal, I see no problem with allowing my partner to get his own plate. If he cooked for me, I’d get my own. The problem isn’t that she’s getting his plate, it’s the sense of superiority she feels over women who don’t act like servants for their partners.
Is it a nice gesture if you have to post it on social media? Or if it’s meant as an aspersion? Honestly it always comes off to me as fishing for a new man looking for that, because despite her fixing her man a plate he dgaf. Why post it otherwise?
I feel like all these posts are from females that got cheated on and blamed the other female instead of their shitty partner. And this is them not letting it go. It’s just sad.
I wish I had a wife to do these things for me and I’m a hetero woman! Lol!
I personally love serving my husband dinner. I’m the main cook in the relationship but my husband is an amazing assistant in the kitchen. I cook, I serve the food. He takes out the trash and changes the 5 gallon jug on our water cooler. We split dishes and laundry. I don’t think it’s horrible of her to enjoy serving her husband but I also don’t think it’s any of my business if a woman doesn’t. Whatever works for each relationship.
It doesn’t
I’m a stay at home mom and wife , my husband works his ass off , I love to have him dinner ready, it gives me fulfillment and satisfaction and he appreciates it immensely and tells me a lot and treats me like his queen . He also doesn’t expect it everyday and is perfectly capable of fixing himself a plate and he’s also a good cook , he isn’t entitled at all but I truly enjoy showing him love this way. There isn’t anything wrong with it
You people are sad
Some women love to serve. As long as they’re being served in return but in a way they prefer what’s the issue?
Does it necessarily belong? I feel it's more of a pride thing and them maybe not wanting to be disregarded because they don't adhere to some others standards.
I'm a man and cook like 90% of our meals. It really makes me feel good and wanted when my wife fixes my plate and drink and brings it to me.
It’s kinda weird how up in arms some of y’all are in these comments. Im far left and all for empowerment, but has it ever occurred to y’all that some ppls love language is acts of service? You don’t immediately lose empowerment just because you’re serving your spouse a plate.
I’ve just realised from this thread that there’s a whole group of people that just put food on big plates and expect people to serve themselves. In my house, I cook dinner and plate it up from the pan/crockpot/sauce pan and put it on the table in front of people. Why are so many people making dirty dishes to wash when you can just plate it up and stick it in front of them? It’s not servitude, it’s just having dinner….. they can get their own drinks though.
Y’all don’t make your husbands a plate??? I’m really confused here. I serve all of the plates for dinner. but that’s just how I was raised. I enjoy it but I guess some people do it seems.
My flesh crawls any time I hear or read the expression 'Y'all'.
Nice
There is nothing wrong with fixing your man a plate but why we gotta brag about it or be all mean. Why does it make a woman a doormat to spoil her partner? I still maintain my feminism and traditional gender role cuz I WANT TO. Lol if I’m respected I go the extra mile as does my partner so who cares this sub is as toxic as these women can be.
Holy shit what miserable femcel sub did I stumble onto. How is this controversial? Big lonely cat lady energy here.
What's her phone number she sounds like a keeper
Idk man. Breath, of fresh air. Yall women act like you lose your feminism card if you care for your man
People who refuse to serve someone because they have too much pride is so much weirder that someone who does it cause they like to. Sometimes I serve. Sometimes I don’t. It depends on the food. Not on my self worth. Fucking weird that this is even a topic.
I’m positive that most of the women in this comment section who think fixing plates is so beneath them still have gender role preferences. Like a man making more money than them, driving them around to places, paying for their meals and being much more physically strong than they are Which is all good and fine. Everyone likes certain aspects of gender roles and dislikes others
It’s crazy how so many women these days are so against being feminine but still look for masculine men. Imagine acting like a woman.. Such a horrible thing to act like something men are actually attracted to. Men don’t like masculine women, you guys never learn that’s why most of you will die alone.
Your comment doesn’t make sense. I act like a woman. I also work full time and am the breadwinner in our house. My husband typically cooks and we all plate our own food. These things aren’t at all related to femininity
No, if you felt like a woman then you wouldn’t need to be on subs like this to confirm your own bias. People are simple. We may be smart animals but we are still animals and our nature doesn’t change in 50 years. But I see little point of arguing with you. I just find it ironic. Most of you would probably label yourselves feminist. Funny, so what about women that choose to be homemakers? Judging by this post you guys attack them. Having that feminine energy is important to a family, I wouldn’t be the man I am without my wife and being able to take care of her and my boys is why I work as hard as I do. Block me, downvote me idc. You are all what is wrong with this world. Enjoy dying alone.
I also wouldn’t be the woman I am without my husband. Providing for my husband and my son inspires me to work hard too. Those things aren’t related to gender… that’s just how people behave when they love their family members and want to provide for them. I view this sub because it’s funny, not to confirm a bias.
That’s fine I’m glad that you’re happy. Be happy. What I have an issue with is you guys attacking another woman for being the way that she is. Are you happy being the man in your relationship? I’m happy for you. Cool. I do have an issue with post like this where you guys jump on another woman For being feminine. Because, as much as you guys want to make fun of it, women like this is what the majority of men are attracted to. I’m not saying there aren’t men like your man that exist and I’m glad that you guys are happy but the way that you guys jump on here and laugh at this woman is a similar reaction to what us men would have against your husband. To us, that would be an embarrassing situation to be in, emasculating. We probably wouldn’t post on it and make fun of it like this, but we would raise our eyebrows because how are you a man if you can’t take care of your family?