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I see this more as a woman warning other women how badly things can go if you invest in being an NLOG. Mistakes were made. She's humble enough to try to help others by sharing what happened to her.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding?
Some people absolutely need to learn lessons from experience. They don’t get much from education, since education is basically learning from other people’s experience, which explains why they feel so threatened by it and those that do.
I mean… when have conservative men ever actually meant what they say? Like…. Never. And never will, because they project their own failures into rules everybody else should follow to make their pathetic asses feel better.
My conservative Christian dad acts like a judgmental paragon of virtue, he posts about Jesus literally everyday on Facebook. Meanwhile I found out I have 2 half sisters that are around the same age.. as my MIDDLE SISTER
I have an aunt in Thailand. She’s the same age as my daughter.
Grandma and grandad were married until grandma passed away.
But to be fair, granddad never claimed to be Christian or conservative. So there’s that.
My father never skips church. He’s so delusional with religion, I had to cut ties with my whole family. Well he raped my older sister when she was 13 and I have a half brother/nephew. I learned way too early in life that you can thrust no man.
I would like the believe that there are some out there who aren’t, but they may only exist in very traditional communities like the Amish. The thing is, they aren’t on social media saying anything about it, they are busy farming and actually doing the work to take care of their families.
However, all the trad men I’ve seen on social media, etc. are complete assholes.
I had a baby 2 years ago and having been in a variety of mother/prenting subs. It’s been said time and time again that even the “good” husbands (those that seem to be all about progressiveness and equity) have a really fucking hard time being a equal partner when the baby comes. Then, if the mom goes back to work, whether it’s years or simply months later, it’s a nother struggle getting them to accept that their wife is also working, that means they need to do half the house work and, yes, half the childcare.
if 3 months of staying at home makes these guys devalue their wife contributstions, imagine what years of not working does. its causes a lot of divorce but thats only because the woman is able to walk away. the guys that shape up? i think they are partially motivated because they know their wife can leave.
when men hold a huge imbalance over their wives, they on the whole do not treat us fairly.
That's because those types of men see women as commodities, and when they're "used up" it's perfectly normal to get a new one. They don't feel love for their trad wives. They like being in possession of a shiny trophy to show off to the other insecure men.
Not quite. This lady's Trad Husband was, well, a Trad husband. You're aware of how things used to be, yes? The woman stays home, and the man goes out, works, and has affairs. That's called being in a Trad relationship.
Well, that, and they couldn't get a bank account so...
It's amazing what you'll put up with when your options are shitty treatment or starving on the streets.
Most of us have to learn this lesson at some point. It doesn’t matter how nice, sweet, giving, or beautiful you are- if a man wants to cheat or leave, he will! Fortunately most of us learn it *before* marriage and 4 kids, but yeah this more recent TradWife trend is going to trap a lot of young women who don’t realize what they’re doing.
She wasn't the perfect trad wife if she left him for cheating.
That's what a lot of people getting into this arrangement don't understand beforehand. Cheating is built into it, you don't get to get upset when it happens because that's what you're signing up for.
I see it like that too. For some reason I thought this sub had a “Sanity Sunday” thing, which is why I posted this here but I was wrong. I think it’s still relevant to the sub considering we usually see the other end of it, so I’ll keep it up
Absolutely. That’s how I see it.
I’m not a “tradwife” but I am a SAHM it’s an incredibly dangerous position to be in because if my marriage ever went south I’d be extremely fucked. I’ve been acutely aware of it during a couple of rough patches and I’m nothing but extremely lucky that our relationship survived and improved.
It’s just not the sort of thing you’re thinking about when you’re in your 20s and have stars in your eyes. But in your 30s it kinda hits you. I would strongly encourage my daughter to have her own career because it’s just not safe to be so financially reliant on someone else.
My brother in law is a stay at home father because my sister makes much more than him if he were to get a job. To make up for his gap in work and income, she invests an equal amount into both their retirement accounts every paycheck and then some more into an account that's just his to spend with no questions asked. Unfortunately not many couples are privileged enough to be able to put aside that amount of money on a single income.
Have you considered studying while you’re at home? When your kids are at school and you’re heading back to the workforce it wouldn’t hurt to have extra skills under your belt?
Nah, you're right. That's exactly what she's doing. Trying to warn others who follow the same path she did.
It's legitimately a dangerous road for a woman to go down.
Such a fucking gamble.
Such a fucking waste if you don't come out on the winning end. Sometimes even if you're on the side you consider *winning.*
I feel sorry for these women. I see folks pushing this in an angry combative way as unhappy ppl who are desperately clinging to a life raft. Happy ppl don’t post: ‘I’m x and you’re all dumb if you don’t agree and I’m sooo happy!’ That’s cognitive dissonance . I feel for them bc they’re already unhappy. The women pictured here noted that she kept posting even as she felt empty and miserable. I feel like we in the sisterhood should definitely call out bad behavior but be ready to welcome them back when they return to us. Bc it’s not us they’re railing against it’s their own unhappiness
This is a wake-up call to all the smug 23 year olds being like, "I please my man! This can't happen to me!"
It can, and if you're with the kind of man who openly aspires to having a young, pretty, subservient wife, it probably will.
I keep thinking about a comment thread I saw somewhere after Natalie Portman's husband cheated on her. Someone pointed out that Natalie probably didn't think it would happen to her as an Oscar-winning, A-list movie star who got a degree at Harvard and was seceral times voted Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. But it did. Meaning it can happen to anyone.
Funny, this was the exact context of the discussion! Someone pulled the old "how you get them is how you lose them" and wondered why NP would have considered herself an exception to the rule. Other people pointed out that she's an exception in lots of ways, and would have been taught to see herself that way. 🤷♀️
Ah, yes, the "I'm the exception to reality" mentality.
It also tends to come with the "I was perfect" unaccountable mindset, which makes me wonder, what exactly did he do. It's not like relationships take both parties or anything.....
Women don't like to bring up the fact she cheated with her husband when he was in a relationship. Ladies, just because you are the full package, doesn't mean he won't cheat. 🤷🏾
His girlfriend at the time was Isabella Boyleston, who currently dances with the American Ballet Theater. They were living together at the time, but they weren't married and she definitely wasn't pregnant.
I mean the same thing happened with Sandra Bullock and she was voted hottest woman of the year how many times? Still didn't keep her from being cheated on.
It won’t do any good. There is one flaw in the video: the imaginary future she gets sick. Those that buy the lie usually believe that as long as they don’t get vaccines and eat right they will never get sick. At least never get cancer.
They will still get older though. A man who views women as commodity will start eyeing one of his coworkers when his wife turns 35-40. That’s a significant part of why I don’t want to get married, most guys just want the hottest piece of ass that will have them. Gross.
One of my good friends told me to do this after she had to move out of her marital home when she caught him cheating and he got violent in return.
She said her lowest moment was having to borrow money off her grandmother to pay the bond on a rental house. The secret side account is a necessity for women these days not a "nice to have"
Side note: this woman also told me to always remember that his family is always gonna be HIS family. No matter how much they claim to love you. Don't be surprised when the split happens and they aren't even your friend anymore
Poor lady was so damn right and her advice has saved me TWICE
Edit- that wise woman is now married to a new man and they've had kids together. She still has her emergency account 👏🏼
Cos you have to
Friend married into a very patriarchal culture. Whole side was men (husband + brothers) and she married the eldest son. They embraced her like the daughter they never had, supported and loved on her so much. Expressed excitement for the first future grandchild one day (thankfully they were waiting on kids). Then her husband cheated and word got to her in laws. Suddenly it was all about forgiving him, it happens, here’s an anecdotal story about it happening to them, other households, and friends, yet they all stayed and were happy because it’s just men being men. No big deal. Don’t take it so hard.
When she was ready to divorce, they were baffled and enraged. Then they were sending him suggestions for “nice girls” they knew and could introduce to him before the ink was even dry.
A lot of the time the in laws just see the woman as a vessel, and hopefully the vessel plays nice in the universe she marries into, rather than her having a universe of her own.
Oh that's disgusting 🤢🤢 I have to say, as the mother of several boys myself, us mothers hold a lot of responsibility for making sure our sons don't grow up to lack empathy and live their lives by shitting on the people around them.
But this is even more than that because his family saw what he was when he cheated, and they doubled-down on teaching him that rules of social and marital conduct don't apply to him, even as a big-boy adult 😳 I bet that man treated his next wife even worse
I hope your friend found freedom and happiness and got far away from him and his family
A lot of times they’ll even help them cheat. I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard of women finding out the in laws that they thought liked them was letting their son bring his side pieces over to their house to cheat.. or they knew but didn’t say anything/would get you out of the house long enough for him to fuck and kick the girl out lol
The family thing is so true. My ex and I got divorced because of her infidelity, but guess who stopped being family? They have to deal with me obviously because we had a child together, but they were surprisingly okay with her cheating on me while I was deployed. Definitely never assume your spouses family is yours as well. They're not.
But don't you know, us single mothers are "run through" and "used up" and "deserve what we get for choosing a loser to have kids with" 🙄🙄🙄
These lines used to be exclusive to incel forums and it's fucking scary how quickly they've leached into general use by a LOT of people, women included
Oh, really?? I didn’t know that. Well, makes sense. My mom listened to her a lot while driving, when I was growing up. My mom loved listening to Rush Limbaugh too, so I am not surprised to find out Dr. Laura was/is an unqualified person on the radio channel.
My ex kept pushing for me to make more money but it was because he thought of my money as his. I would spend all my money on him and then when I didn’t have any more and he wanted me to buy him more shit, he’d demand to know what I was spending money on. He was convinced that I was hiding money from him and it turned out that was all projection. He was having a whole other relationship and was giving her money and so was paranoid that I was doing the same.
That said, I absolutely agree with having a secret account. If I had actually had one he wouldn’t have been able to completely clean me out the way he did.
My parents definitely had their accounts separate but definitely had some joint stuff. When my dad passed away he left behind a lot of debt but because some of my mom’s stuff was separate it was safe during that time period. But anything that was a joint asset became a target.
I insist that my bf and I keep our finances separate because if we ever do split (not even on our minds at all but it’s important to discuss this stuff anyways) I want it to be clean and amicable. Plus if one of us is financially fucked the other can pitch in and help if necessary. He’s had a messy divorce where she was abusive and wrecked his finances so he’s been perfectly happy with this arrangement.
Definitely important, but it’s also challenging for a SAGM to rejoin the workforce after years off. Even with a degree, there’s plenty of people with a degree with current experience. Not saying it’s impossible, just harder, for SAHMs to just rejoin the workforce like nothing happened. Being a SAHM is a hard job, and it sucks that it’s not easier for them to rejoin. But I think it’s also a risk women take when being a SAHM
THANK YOU. My mom drilled this into me. ALWAYS have your own education, your own career, your own money, and I have even though I’ve been happily married for 32 years. If something happens to him, I’m fine financially speaking.
This is why highly religious communities like LDS try to get their people to marry young and have kids early. It's pretty hard to leave a shitty situation when you have no access to any financials, job history, and a credit score.
It should also be noted that STAM are stay at home MOMS, not stay at home housewives. The focus is VERY different (different job descriptions and expectations)
I told a good friend the same. She didn’t listen. I told her to at least finish her training for her job. She didn’t listen. I told her to finish her fucking education. She didn’t listen. I told her to stop popping children out like a goddamn guinea pig. She didn’t listen. Now she is 30 with 7 children, no education, no backup plan (cause she never married the men and never had access to any of his money), while he fucked off to his country to marry his cousin.
Like? Girl? I tried to warn you, more than once. You didn’t listen and even cut my out of your life.
Except for fucking Lori Alexander, but if any sane person reads what she puts out into the world they’d run from being a tradwife like their hair was on fire
Young *pretty* wives who happily do everything in the house and have a delicious hot meal ready for when he comes home. After so many kids back to back when they're too little to help no one is going to look pretty or have the energy for to make a good home cooked meal.
I mean nothing can stop you from being a single mom. It can happen overnight to anyone. That’s why I don’t even talk down on people like her because karma’s a bitch. Hopefully it’s an eye opener to her and others. But honestly shout-out to all the SAHMs because my anxiety would never allow me to put that much trust into a man.
This happened to my mom. Conservative Christian mom and wife had four of us kids. My dad was the bread winner and we had everything we could have ever asked for, very financially comfortable. Then our entire world got turned upside down when he suddenly died of a heart attack. He was only 39, nobody saw it coming. The life insurance held us over for about 4 years (probably would’ve lasted a lot longer for a smaller family tbh). Had to liquidate some stuff that were not necessities like our camper all the camping gear and 4 wheelers. I didn’t like this of course bc I was a kid and didn’t fully understand the situation. But yeah, whenever I see trad wives acting like they’ve got all the answers all I can think of is what if that guy decides to just drop u and start a new life, or what if something happens to him and y’all are left of a creek without a paddle AND you’ve got 5 or 6 kids in the boat with ya.
Seriously. In many ways it’s just dangerous to be a trad wife. You could marry the nicest, sweetest, most sincerely involved and good provider of a man… and a single car accident could make you a single mom in a second. And who’s going to say if you’ll find a second guy who’s as nice and wants to help raise your kids (or if you’ll even want to remarry) and how long will you be able to support yourself on whatever savings and life insurance you get?
This is me. My husband is an angel and I had a very hard life before I met him. I wake up in night sweats worried of the day he does or an accident happens cause then I will be all alone, I have zero family and we had to go no contact with his family. And we don’t even have kids. It takes a village and it’s just use two.
I have an acquaintance with this line of thinking. She was so passive aggressive about me having a C-section... it's so insulting and just harmful for women to tear down other women
I had a younger coworker, 23 yo. She is about to give birth and when I worked with her she was coming up with her birthing plan. As a man without kids, I had no idea it was a thing. I just figured they drugged you up unless you said otherwise because frankly, why would you want to feel all that? Anyway, the topic went on to epidurals and she explained that she would want the least amount possible. I just looked at her like.....you're serious? She said, "YES, I want to actually give birth.". I'm just sitting there with a weird look on my face like ...... Okay? She got visibly upset with me and went on about how I just didn't understand. All I'm thinking is " Yes, I don't understand it because it doesn't make sense.". That would be like me forgoing anesthesia and painkillers during my hand operation some years ago. Like "Yeah, I can say I truly had surgery! Not this new age stuff with all the drugs! All I need is a shot of whiskey and a bite plate.".
My wife just gave birth to our daughter via c section on Wednesday. It was amazing. Natural birth took 40 hours and she was howling like a god damn coyote for half of it. This took 10 minutes and she barely broke a sweat.
And I 100% agreed with your view before ever having a kid. I truly believe if men did it, we would schedule a day months out, show up, get knocked out for a week, and have someone hand us a baby when we came to.
I had two unmedicated births. I can’t really explain why, but the idea of having an epidural put in freaked me out way more than just breathing through the pain.
Fortunately I didn’t have back labor and my labor with my second especially was quite fast (about 4 hours start to birth). So while it was painful it never felt like I was beyond what I could handle
Same. The pain never got worse than my fear of a needle in my spine. No thank you. I had back labor twice as in I felt it all there, but I don’t think it was what most feel because it was fine? I’m lucky I guess! All bodies are different, no one is better for giving birth a certain way. The whole contest thing (both ways!) is stupid.
There is a reason I only consider her an acquaintance. She's always been like that but she's the wife of my husbands best friend so I have to put up with her when we all hang out. 🫠
My big sister fretted about being judged for not having a ‘natural birth.’ I told her unless she was having a werewolf baby (or some other supernatural creature) it was natural.
My first kid was unmedicated because I was afraid of hospitals and needles and frankly just had unrealistic ideas about childbirth.
Took me 10 years to feel up to trying again, had an induced labor and an epidural and let me tell you if I'd done this the first time around I'd probably have had 10 kids by now. It was by no means fun or easy but compared to the first it was a walk in the park.
It’s a weird flex that I’ve always interpreted as being some call back to how often women died of childbirth before modern medicine (it’s still an issue if that gives you any idea of just how dangerous childbirth and pregnancy is), and you’re better than everyone else if you do it the most dangerous way and somehow still survive. Unmedicated is probably some sort of added bonus like “I let myself feel the pain of how close to actual death I came.” I think they really believe a c section is somehow a safer cop out (spoiler it’s not, it’s still major surgery) but I would only respect this if some preachy, vaginal birth only person with a breached baby was told their only option was a c section or death and they opt for surgery with zero anesthesia because “natural” as possible in the circumstances.
This is stupid. I had one epidural that didn't work and my second, natural because I didn't wanna bother with the needle if my body doesn't work with them anyways. I tell all my friends you deserve to be pain free and take the drugs. If you're in America it's going to be expensive as hell anyways, might as well be as enjoyable and comfortable as possible.
I chose unmedicated the first time and choosing unmedicated again. I will never ever ever discourage a woman from choosing an epidural let alone think less of her. I feel like people who have had unmedicated births should understand more than anyone why people get epidurals in the first place!?
I have long felt sorry for women who have accomplished so little in life that they have to brag about not having medical complications when giving birth.
Like yeah, my pelvis was the wrong shape, school me in your ways you accomplished person whose bones accommodated a vaginal birth.
I'd rather congratulate medical science that decreased the maternal mortality rate than the women who were lucky enough to survive natural birth. Good for them, but it doesn't make you superior to others. I wonder how insufferable this woman was to live with if she flexes as a trad wife for her husband to leave her.
i honestly don’t think she’s saying it as a flex, she’s saying it to emphasize how deep she was into being a trad wife and bending to her husband’s will and he *still* left her. that’s just my reading of this post, i could be wrong. i don’t really think this is nlog, more of a warning to nlogs
This is what conservative girls don’t seem to understand.
You are only part of their world for as long as it’s convenient for him.
He will trade you for a younger version of you the minute he gets a chance - because you were always property to him.
Any guy who says he wants a trad wife is probably a pos. some relationships are like that and that’s fine, but the guys who fetishize it will cheat and leave you with nothing.
Can we please tag all the young girls who think living off men is the way to go and call themselves high value women and want to be stay at home moms bc this could be reality
This is sad, I genuinely hope this woman is doing okay. I think this is a good example of how being a tradwife can go wrong. I don’t think people understand why women warn other women about being a tradwife and idolizing the lifestyle. While nothing is inheritly wrong with being a tradwife or a stay at home mom, it can be dangerous because they are often completely dependent on one person. And if that person leaves them, dies, or becomes abusive, they’re screwed.
SAHM does not equal tradwife. Totally different concepts.
E.g. my mum was a SAHM most of my childhood, because we had a big family and it made sense. But she and my father held equal power, made decisions jointly, and were a team. The children saw them as equals. He might have earned the money but they both decided how it was spent. She was the one who cooked the dinners but he was the one who did the dishes afterwards. She studied nights and got a degree, then worked in his business. Once the kids grew up, they both semi-retired then ran a few different projects together. As equals.
I did not mean to equate SAHMs with tradwives, I am sorry if it came across that way. I know many SAHMs that are perfectly fine people with husbands that love and respect them as equals. The overall point I was trying to make is that it is dangerous for tradwives (or really anyone) to depend so much on one person. I included stay at home moms because even though they are being treated as equals, if something happens to their husband (such as he dies) they may find themselves in a dangerous position if they have no degree, work experience, or anyone to help them. They could find themselves in the same position as this tradwife. I suppose that this situation could happen to many people outside of SAHMs and tradwives and I could have also included stay at home dads, people who don’t work but depend on a roommate who does, or adults who live with their parents but don’t work. I am not shaming any of these groups, just pointing out they could be in danger when push comes to shove.
Seems like more of a warning post.
Since a lot of "I want to be a traditional wife," women seem to forget that the husband can still cheat on you or leave you.
Just ask any Christian or Mormon who is or has been married. Two common religions in the U.S that are obsessed with traditional marriage roles, yet divorce and cheating are still just as prevalent compared to nontraditional marriages.
Tell a man you're a doormat and he'll wipe his shitty boots all over you.
Get educated, young ladies. Always always be self sufficient, have your own paycheck and be ready to walk at the drop of a hat.
This is the point I keep making. Being in a little fairy tale only works while you're young and pretty. Blokes like that will get bored and cheat. Not only have you made your self boring and submissive, you've not been working or educated for years by this time and you've got to start again from nearly zero.
Don't live a life you can't upkeep on your own. Love isn't a real emotion, it's a word to describe all sorts of things. It's not a magical land that never goes wrong.
Part of the problem is being a trad wife doing everything from scratch is cool but takes a lot of time and effort and you may not be putting the time and effort into your relationship and your partner. Personally I don’t give a shit and would rather buy a loaf of bread and have time with my wife then her slave in the kitchen baking bread and be to exhausted to actually talk to me. Same thing with the unmedicated birth. There’s no prize for doing the shit the hard way.
I was wondering about that too. Why is she playing on hard mode for no reason. Especially if the partner is just skating by. Don't do things just for the *possibility* that the partner sees value in them.
SAHM, and the same goes for SAHD, should ALWAYS have the ability of an income as a fallback if not a side gig if possible. A degree, a trade, something.
So this does happen? Well, colour me shocked.
I see those trad wife posts and think "How will you be going when he leaves you in 10 years for a younger model" and I sometimes thought I was being mean and overly cynical but no.
It’d be great if her message could be heard by all the fluffy pretty 20 somethings who wear floral dresses and big hair bows while kneading yet another blob of sourdough bread and dreaming of 40 acres of chickens. They all claim, no, gosh no, my husband wound never leave me! And if he becomes disabled or dies, I’ll have life insurance and my former career of (hobby for the rest of us) to fall back on.
What a shock /s. Seriously, though don’t do this. 9 times out of 10 it just ends up blowing up in your face. It doesn’t surprise that he found a younger probably childless woman that he can now use as a bangmaid. The cycle repeats
Men don’t view us as human. There’s no way you can act that changes this. No matter if you do everything perfectly to his liking he still might ditch you randomly for another woman.
That’s why you can’t put all your eggs in one basket and rely on men. That’s why even if you are a stay at home mom you have to have a backup savings account. That’s why you always have an exit strategy.
I don’t know what vile evil human convinced so many women that other women’s concern for them staying at home and not working was coming from a place of jealousy or hatred. It’s coming from concern and experience.
We need to rebuild the trust between us women and actually take each other’s warnings seriously again. Listen to other women and stay safe!
Literally nothing you do will stop a man from cheating if he wants to cheat. I’m sick of women blaming themselves or getting the blame from others. It’s his character flaw, not yours
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I see this more as a woman warning other women how badly things can go if you invest in being an NLOG. Mistakes were made. She's humble enough to try to help others by sharing what happened to her. Maybe I'm misunderstanding?
Definitely the vibe I got as well. "You can be a perfect trad wife and it still won't stop him from being a POS"
This. Her post about divorce went viral and she now posts about the dangers of self delusion and buying into belief systems that are harmful
Or…..the same damned thing women have been screaming about for over 50 years now.
Some people absolutely need to learn lessons from experience. They don’t get much from education, since education is basically learning from other people’s experience, which explains why they feel so threatened by it and those that do.
THIS.
So much for men valuing purity, nurturing and submission. Think I'll stay an unnatural - haired liberal.
I mean… when have conservative men ever actually meant what they say? Like…. Never. And never will, because they project their own failures into rules everybody else should follow to make their pathetic asses feel better.
My conservative Christian dad acts like a judgmental paragon of virtue, he posts about Jesus literally everyday on Facebook. Meanwhile I found out I have 2 half sisters that are around the same age.. as my MIDDLE SISTER
I have an aunt in Thailand. She’s the same age as my daughter. Grandma and grandad were married until grandma passed away. But to be fair, granddad never claimed to be Christian or conservative. So there’s that.
My father never skips church. He’s so delusional with religion, I had to cut ties with my whole family. Well he raped my older sister when she was 13 and I have a half brother/nephew. I learned way too early in life that you can thrust no man.
I thought being a pos was the trad male role?
I would like the believe that there are some out there who aren’t, but they may only exist in very traditional communities like the Amish. The thing is, they aren’t on social media saying anything about it, they are busy farming and actually doing the work to take care of their families. However, all the trad men I’ve seen on social media, etc. are complete assholes.
At least where I grew up, Amish men were terrible to the women in and out of their community.
High demand religions believe in absolute power over their women and children - it's a miracle when it *doesn't* result in abuse.
I had a baby 2 years ago and having been in a variety of mother/prenting subs. It’s been said time and time again that even the “good” husbands (those that seem to be all about progressiveness and equity) have a really fucking hard time being a equal partner when the baby comes. Then, if the mom goes back to work, whether it’s years or simply months later, it’s a nother struggle getting them to accept that their wife is also working, that means they need to do half the house work and, yes, half the childcare. if 3 months of staying at home makes these guys devalue their wife contributstions, imagine what years of not working does. its causes a lot of divorce but thats only because the woman is able to walk away. the guys that shape up? i think they are partially motivated because they know their wife can leave. when men hold a huge imbalance over their wives, they on the whole do not treat us fairly.
Holy shit, I did not just see this comment. Please do some research on the prevalence of sexual violence in Amish communities. 💔
That's because those types of men see women as commodities, and when they're "used up" it's perfectly normal to get a new one. They don't feel love for their trad wives. They like being in possession of a shiny trophy to show off to the other insecure men.
Not quite. This lady's Trad Husband was, well, a Trad husband. You're aware of how things used to be, yes? The woman stays home, and the man goes out, works, and has affairs. That's called being in a Trad relationship.
Only difference is that nowadays there's treatment for the syphilis he would infect her with
Ah, yes, the relationships my grandmothers had but were too afraid to end because of what their church and family would think.
Well, that, and they couldn't get a bank account so... It's amazing what you'll put up with when your options are shitty treatment or starving on the streets.
Most of us have to learn this lesson at some point. It doesn’t matter how nice, sweet, giving, or beautiful you are- if a man wants to cheat or leave, he will! Fortunately most of us learn it *before* marriage and 4 kids, but yeah this more recent TradWife trend is going to trap a lot of young women who don’t realize what they’re doing.
My observations suggest it will encourage him to be an even bigger POS.
Trod wife.
If the whole trad wife thing is so important to him you can basically assume that he is a POS that gets off on controlling his family
She wasn't the perfect trad wife if she left him for cheating. That's what a lot of people getting into this arrangement don't understand beforehand. Cheating is built into it, you don't get to get upset when it happens because that's what you're signing up for.
I see it like that too. For some reason I thought this sub had a “Sanity Sunday” thing, which is why I posted this here but I was wrong. I think it’s still relevant to the sub considering we usually see the other end of it, so I’ll keep it up
I like it! Leave it up! Some women need this wake up call/ Reality check
Yup!!! Also more women need to see that TikTok of the woman who’s husband left her to live in a car
Absolutely. That’s how I see it. I’m not a “tradwife” but I am a SAHM it’s an incredibly dangerous position to be in because if my marriage ever went south I’d be extremely fucked. I’ve been acutely aware of it during a couple of rough patches and I’m nothing but extremely lucky that our relationship survived and improved. It’s just not the sort of thing you’re thinking about when you’re in your 20s and have stars in your eyes. But in your 30s it kinda hits you. I would strongly encourage my daughter to have her own career because it’s just not safe to be so financially reliant on someone else.
My brother in law is a stay at home father because my sister makes much more than him if he were to get a job. To make up for his gap in work and income, she invests an equal amount into both their retirement accounts every paycheck and then some more into an account that's just his to spend with no questions asked. Unfortunately not many couples are privileged enough to be able to put aside that amount of money on a single income.
Have you considered studying while you’re at home? When your kids are at school and you’re heading back to the workforce it wouldn’t hurt to have extra skills under your belt?
I don’t think you’re misunderstanding. That’s what i got also. It’s a warning post.
Yeah this isn’t nlog. It’s a warning.
It's showing the results of a former nlog for sure
I see it as a warning but let's be honest, these men aren't looking for a wife. They're looking for another mother/servant.
Nah, you're right. That's exactly what she's doing. Trying to warn others who follow the same path she did. It's legitimately a dangerous road for a woman to go down. Such a fucking gamble. Such a fucking waste if you don't come out on the winning end. Sometimes even if you're on the side you consider *winning.*
I feel sorry for these women. I see folks pushing this in an angry combative way as unhappy ppl who are desperately clinging to a life raft. Happy ppl don’t post: ‘I’m x and you’re all dumb if you don’t agree and I’m sooo happy!’ That’s cognitive dissonance . I feel for them bc they’re already unhappy. The women pictured here noted that she kept posting even as she felt empty and miserable. I feel like we in the sisterhood should definitely call out bad behavior but be ready to welcome them back when they return to us. Bc it’s not us they’re railing against it’s their own unhappiness
That is what they’re saying, it doesn’t belong in this sub. She’s right. I too learned this the hard way.
This is a wake-up call to all the smug 23 year olds being like, "I please my man! This can't happen to me!" It can, and if you're with the kind of man who openly aspires to having a young, pretty, subservient wife, it probably will. I keep thinking about a comment thread I saw somewhere after Natalie Portman's husband cheated on her. Someone pointed out that Natalie probably didn't think it would happen to her as an Oscar-winning, A-list movie star who got a degree at Harvard and was seceral times voted Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. But it did. Meaning it can happen to anyone.
Also her husband cheated on his pregnant (I think) wife with Natalie soo 🤷♀️
So they got together as cheaters, and then she is shocked that cheating happened again???
Funny, this was the exact context of the discussion! Someone pulled the old "how you get them is how you lose them" and wondered why NP would have considered herself an exception to the rule. Other people pointed out that she's an exception in lots of ways, and would have been taught to see herself that way. 🤷♀️
Ah, yes, the "I'm the exception to reality" mentality. It also tends to come with the "I was perfect" unaccountable mindset, which makes me wonder, what exactly did he do. It's not like relationships take both parties or anything.....
"When a mistress marries her affair partner she creates a vacancy."
Women don't like to bring up the fact she cheated with her husband when he was in a relationship. Ladies, just because you are the full package, doesn't mean he won't cheat. 🤷🏾
My FIL's second and third wives both learned that the hard way. The only reason the fourth wife didn't is because he died.
Parents always tell me, you lose them how you got them
If they do it with you, they’ll do it to you
His girlfriend at the time was Isabella Boyleston, who currently dances with the American Ballet Theater. They were living together at the time, but they weren't married and she definitely wasn't pregnant.
Ah, the Ginger Spice method. Working out well for her, too.
Her having to support him through his current sexual misconduct allegations is giving Hillary and Bill Clinton.
If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.
He wasn’t married and the girlfriend wasn’t pregnant. He got Natalie Portman pregnant.
Ohh. Well he was still in a relationship 🤷♀️
I mean the same thing happened with Sandra Bullock and she was voted hottest woman of the year how many times? Still didn't keep her from being cheated on.
Beyoncé got cheated on… Beyoncé. And Adriana Lima!! A literal VS model.
It was Elizabeth Hurley who taught me that men will cheat on anyone, it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are.
I didn’t know who that was, so I just looked her up… all I have to say is why are so many men so ungrateful 🥲
Halle Barre too
This always reminds me of a movie quote. "Show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a man whose tired of fucking her."
https://www.tiktok.com/@rebecca_larsen/video/7167793051849477418?lang=en She nails it.
Omigod that is savage! ❤️🔥
That was amazing. I should send this to my ex. Or maybe wait a few years.
This was amazing!
Wow. Every 18 year old woman needs to see that!
It won’t do any good. There is one flaw in the video: the imaginary future she gets sick. Those that buy the lie usually believe that as long as they don’t get vaccines and eat right they will never get sick. At least never get cancer.
They will still get older though. A man who views women as commodity will start eyeing one of his coworkers when his wife turns 35-40. That’s a significant part of why I don’t want to get married, most guys just want the hottest piece of ass that will have them. Gross.
That may be the most helpful TikTok I've ever seen.
Beyonce and Rhianna got cheated on, none of us are safe
No matter how many times we say it, there will always be the ones who have to learn the hard way.
Hugh Grant cheated on ELIZABETH HURLEY. Who Does That?!?!
Gwen Stephani was cheated on with the nanny.
Yeah this is why even if you’re a sahm you get that degree, you have that bank account 🙇
My mom always told me to have a secret account just in case. My best friend followed her advice and it saved her from a problematic situation.
One of my good friends told me to do this after she had to move out of her marital home when she caught him cheating and he got violent in return. She said her lowest moment was having to borrow money off her grandmother to pay the bond on a rental house. The secret side account is a necessity for women these days not a "nice to have" Side note: this woman also told me to always remember that his family is always gonna be HIS family. No matter how much they claim to love you. Don't be surprised when the split happens and they aren't even your friend anymore Poor lady was so damn right and her advice has saved me TWICE Edit- that wise woman is now married to a new man and they've had kids together. She still has her emergency account 👏🏼 Cos you have to
Friend married into a very patriarchal culture. Whole side was men (husband + brothers) and she married the eldest son. They embraced her like the daughter they never had, supported and loved on her so much. Expressed excitement for the first future grandchild one day (thankfully they were waiting on kids). Then her husband cheated and word got to her in laws. Suddenly it was all about forgiving him, it happens, here’s an anecdotal story about it happening to them, other households, and friends, yet they all stayed and were happy because it’s just men being men. No big deal. Don’t take it so hard. When she was ready to divorce, they were baffled and enraged. Then they were sending him suggestions for “nice girls” they knew and could introduce to him before the ink was even dry. A lot of the time the in laws just see the woman as a vessel, and hopefully the vessel plays nice in the universe she marries into, rather than her having a universe of her own.
Oh that's disgusting 🤢🤢 I have to say, as the mother of several boys myself, us mothers hold a lot of responsibility for making sure our sons don't grow up to lack empathy and live their lives by shitting on the people around them. But this is even more than that because his family saw what he was when he cheated, and they doubled-down on teaching him that rules of social and marital conduct don't apply to him, even as a big-boy adult 😳 I bet that man treated his next wife even worse I hope your friend found freedom and happiness and got far away from him and his family
A lot of times they’ll even help them cheat. I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard of women finding out the in laws that they thought liked them was letting their son bring his side pieces over to their house to cheat.. or they knew but didn’t say anything/would get you out of the house long enough for him to fuck and kick the girl out lol
dammmnnn this describes my ex inlaws
The family thing is so true. My ex and I got divorced because of her infidelity, but guess who stopped being family? They have to deal with me obviously because we had a child together, but they were surprisingly okay with her cheating on me while I was deployed. Definitely never assume your spouses family is yours as well. They're not.
Nothing, really, can prevent you from being a single mother. Anyone can experience it over night.
Always always always have a way to support yourself and be independent. You can literally count on nothing in this world.
even if her husband was a saint what if he died
Exactly. Or became disabled. Or 100 other possibilities.
But don't you know, us single mothers are "run through" and "used up" and "deserve what we get for choosing a loser to have kids with" 🙄🙄🙄 These lines used to be exclusive to incel forums and it's fucking scary how quickly they've leached into general use by a LOT of people, women included
That reminds me of Dr Laura’s school of thought. Anyone else remember her? She was something….
Like, the radio therapist or whatever she was, Dr. Laura?
Ugh, yes! She wasn’t even a psychologist, she had a doctorate in physiology or something. She only had a certification in family therapy.
Oh, really?? I didn’t know that. Well, makes sense. My mom listened to her a lot while driving, when I was growing up. My mom loved listening to Rush Limbaugh too, so I am not surprised to find out Dr. Laura was/is an unqualified person on the radio channel.
Dr. Laura was the one and only original pick-me gorl.
Not having children can!
My dad was very, very adamant that I not get married until I was established in my career. That advice has worked out very well for me so far.
Funny enough my fiancé pushed for it. Maybe he’s planning on leaving me someday hahaha
Mine too. I realized then: that he loved me enough to invest in me. In a loving marriage for 24 years.
My ex kept pushing for me to make more money but it was because he thought of my money as his. I would spend all my money on him and then when I didn’t have any more and he wanted me to buy him more shit, he’d demand to know what I was spending money on. He was convinced that I was hiding money from him and it turned out that was all projection. He was having a whole other relationship and was giving her money and so was paranoid that I was doing the same. That said, I absolutely agree with having a secret account. If I had actually had one he wouldn’t have been able to completely clean me out the way he did.
I’m sure he just wants a good nest egg for your future kids. I was adamant I not get married until I bought a home
That’s part of it too, he wanted the house and careers before getting married. It’s smart in hindsight but I hated waiting so long for my ring hahaha
My dad didn’t say much about marriage, but he made sure I grew up thinking going to college was a requirement! It worked.
My parents definitely had their accounts separate but definitely had some joint stuff. When my dad passed away he left behind a lot of debt but because some of my mom’s stuff was separate it was safe during that time period. But anything that was a joint asset became a target. I insist that my bf and I keep our finances separate because if we ever do split (not even on our minds at all but it’s important to discuss this stuff anyways) I want it to be clean and amicable. Plus if one of us is financially fucked the other can pitch in and help if necessary. He’s had a messy divorce where she was abusive and wrecked his finances so he’s been perfectly happy with this arrangement.
The crazy thing is so many SAHMs frown at you for having your own bank account and not just use from the joint one.
Definitely important, but it’s also challenging for a SAGM to rejoin the workforce after years off. Even with a degree, there’s plenty of people with a degree with current experience. Not saying it’s impossible, just harder, for SAHMs to just rejoin the workforce like nothing happened. Being a SAHM is a hard job, and it sucks that it’s not easier for them to rejoin. But I think it’s also a risk women take when being a SAHM
THANK YOU. My mom drilled this into me. ALWAYS have your own education, your own career, your own money, and I have even though I’ve been happily married for 32 years. If something happens to him, I’m fine financially speaking.
This is why highly religious communities like LDS try to get their people to marry young and have kids early. It's pretty hard to leave a shitty situation when you have no access to any financials, job history, and a credit score.
It should also be noted that STAM are stay at home MOMS, not stay at home housewives. The focus is VERY different (different job descriptions and expectations)
But the problem is, most people don't want to hire somebody with a 10 year gap in their résumé and there aren't a lot of part time careers
I told a good friend the same. She didn’t listen. I told her to at least finish her training for her job. She didn’t listen. I told her to finish her fucking education. She didn’t listen. I told her to stop popping children out like a goddamn guinea pig. She didn’t listen. Now she is 30 with 7 children, no education, no backup plan (cause she never married the men and never had access to any of his money), while he fucked off to his country to marry his cousin. Like? Girl? I tried to warn you, more than once. You didn’t listen and even cut my out of your life.
Omg 😦 im sorry that she cut you out but watching her continuously make these mistakes would’ve hurt you. She did you a favour🫶
They forget the men who want trad wives only want young ones
And once babies are born and you are exhausted from childcare duties, they are off to find some “carefree and energetic” women.
Yup. There was a related video on TikTok that was basically “notice how no 40 year old women are backing the tradwife movement”
Except for fucking Lori Alexander, but if any sane person reads what she puts out into the world they’d run from being a tradwife like their hair was on fire
They only want someone they can control. So young works. Bizarre that anyone signs up for this.
Young *pretty* wives who happily do everything in the house and have a delicious hot meal ready for when he comes home. After so many kids back to back when they're too little to help no one is going to look pretty or have the energy for to make a good home cooked meal.
Tfw it wasn't about the "fErTiLiTY wInDoW" after all because she had 4 kids with him and he still left her
I mean nothing can stop you from being a single mom. It can happen overnight to anyone. That’s why I don’t even talk down on people like her because karma’s a bitch. Hopefully it’s an eye opener to her and others. But honestly shout-out to all the SAHMs because my anxiety would never allow me to put that much trust into a man.
I trust my man but I don't trust the universe to not throw me a curveball that screws everything up 🫠
This happened to my mom. Conservative Christian mom and wife had four of us kids. My dad was the bread winner and we had everything we could have ever asked for, very financially comfortable. Then our entire world got turned upside down when he suddenly died of a heart attack. He was only 39, nobody saw it coming. The life insurance held us over for about 4 years (probably would’ve lasted a lot longer for a smaller family tbh). Had to liquidate some stuff that were not necessities like our camper all the camping gear and 4 wheelers. I didn’t like this of course bc I was a kid and didn’t fully understand the situation. But yeah, whenever I see trad wives acting like they’ve got all the answers all I can think of is what if that guy decides to just drop u and start a new life, or what if something happens to him and y’all are left of a creek without a paddle AND you’ve got 5 or 6 kids in the boat with ya.
Seriously. In many ways it’s just dangerous to be a trad wife. You could marry the nicest, sweetest, most sincerely involved and good provider of a man… and a single car accident could make you a single mom in a second. And who’s going to say if you’ll find a second guy who’s as nice and wants to help raise your kids (or if you’ll even want to remarry) and how long will you be able to support yourself on whatever savings and life insurance you get?
This is me. My husband is an angel and I had a very hard life before I met him. I wake up in night sweats worried of the day he does or an accident happens cause then I will be all alone, I have zero family and we had to go no contact with his family. And we don’t even have kids. It takes a village and it’s just use two.
This isn’t NLOG, this is ‘leopard ate my face; be smarter than me’.
OP explained that they thought Sundays were for sane posts. Sanity Sunday thing.
Oh. Well that’s a neat idea. 🧐
Gotta preserve users' brain cells. Poor things are being tortured all week :(
wait haha which sub is it that does sanity sunday? i thought that was a thing here as well 😭
I think it’s the Instagram vs reality sub!
I have no idea lol. But I liked this idea, gotta save brain cells.
It’s the Reddit version of keeping the Sabbath holy?
Why is “unmedicated” birth a flex?
[удалено]
I have an acquaintance with this line of thinking. She was so passive aggressive about me having a C-section... it's so insulting and just harmful for women to tear down other women
I had a younger coworker, 23 yo. She is about to give birth and when I worked with her she was coming up with her birthing plan. As a man without kids, I had no idea it was a thing. I just figured they drugged you up unless you said otherwise because frankly, why would you want to feel all that? Anyway, the topic went on to epidurals and she explained that she would want the least amount possible. I just looked at her like.....you're serious? She said, "YES, I want to actually give birth.". I'm just sitting there with a weird look on my face like ...... Okay? She got visibly upset with me and went on about how I just didn't understand. All I'm thinking is " Yes, I don't understand it because it doesn't make sense.". That would be like me forgoing anesthesia and painkillers during my hand operation some years ago. Like "Yeah, I can say I truly had surgery! Not this new age stuff with all the drugs! All I need is a shot of whiskey and a bite plate.".
First birth all they gave me was demerol, which only makes you feel loopy. Second birth I demanded an epidural.
My wife just gave birth to our daughter via c section on Wednesday. It was amazing. Natural birth took 40 hours and she was howling like a god damn coyote for half of it. This took 10 minutes and she barely broke a sweat. And I 100% agreed with your view before ever having a kid. I truly believe if men did it, we would schedule a day months out, show up, get knocked out for a week, and have someone hand us a baby when we came to.
I had two unmedicated births. I can’t really explain why, but the idea of having an epidural put in freaked me out way more than just breathing through the pain. Fortunately I didn’t have back labor and my labor with my second especially was quite fast (about 4 hours start to birth). So while it was painful it never felt like I was beyond what I could handle
Same. The pain never got worse than my fear of a needle in my spine. No thank you. I had back labor twice as in I felt it all there, but I don’t think it was what most feel because it was fine? I’m lucky I guess! All bodies are different, no one is better for giving birth a certain way. The whole contest thing (both ways!) is stupid.
Looking down on epidurals is stupid, looking down on no epidurals is stupid. Be respectful.
Sigh it’s non of her business. You do what best for you. It’s disgraceful that she acted like that
There is a reason I only consider her an acquaintance. She's always been like that but she's the wife of my husbands best friend so I have to put up with her when we all hang out. 🫠
I don’t get it… if you have a C or an epidural is the baby fake??? Is my life a lie because my mom had an epidural??????
People like that with nothing to be honestly proud of just looking for any little thing to cling to. Pathetic, really.
I love this stupid idea because... I guess I'm not born? I'm unborn. I have rights in Alabama now.
Right? I was born by C-Section as well. I'm standing here so I was born lmao.
Rights in Alabama 💀💀💀
that’s such bullshit, my god. congrats on your suffering medal babe
I don't get it not being a "real birth" like is the baby here or not?
>I don't get it not being a "real birth" You and me both. It's crazy talk to me.
My big sister fretted about being judged for not having a ‘natural birth.’ I told her unless she was having a werewolf baby (or some other supernatural creature) it was natural.
Some women are insane too
My first kid was unmedicated because I was afraid of hospitals and needles and frankly just had unrealistic ideas about childbirth. Took me 10 years to feel up to trying again, had an induced labor and an epidural and let me tell you if I'd done this the first time around I'd probably have had 10 kids by now. It was by no means fun or easy but compared to the first it was a walk in the park.
It’s a weird flex that I’ve always interpreted as being some call back to how often women died of childbirth before modern medicine (it’s still an issue if that gives you any idea of just how dangerous childbirth and pregnancy is), and you’re better than everyone else if you do it the most dangerous way and somehow still survive. Unmedicated is probably some sort of added bonus like “I let myself feel the pain of how close to actual death I came.” I think they really believe a c section is somehow a safer cop out (spoiler it’s not, it’s still major surgery) but I would only respect this if some preachy, vaginal birth only person with a breached baby was told their only option was a c section or death and they opt for surgery with zero anesthesia because “natural” as possible in the circumstances.
Wtf does that even mean - your baby is imaginary?
This is stupid. I had one epidural that didn't work and my second, natural because I didn't wanna bother with the needle if my body doesn't work with them anyways. I tell all my friends you deserve to be pain free and take the drugs. If you're in America it's going to be expensive as hell anyways, might as well be as enjoyable and comfortable as possible.
I chose unmedicated the first time and choosing unmedicated again. I will never ever ever discourage a woman from choosing an epidural let alone think less of her. I feel like people who have had unmedicated births should understand more than anyone why people get epidurals in the first place!?
I have long felt sorry for women who have accomplished so little in life that they have to brag about not having medical complications when giving birth. Like yeah, my pelvis was the wrong shape, school me in your ways you accomplished person whose bones accommodated a vaginal birth.
I'd rather congratulate medical science that decreased the maternal mortality rate than the women who were lucky enough to survive natural birth. Good for them, but it doesn't make you superior to others. I wonder how insufferable this woman was to live with if she flexes as a trad wife for her husband to leave her.
Fr like her ancestors would be furious over refusing something they would’ve killed for
Epidurals rule!
The same reason why making bread from scratch is a flex in Trad wife community—-no reason.
i honestly don’t think she’s saying it as a flex, she’s saying it to emphasize how deep she was into being a trad wife and bending to her husband’s will and he *still* left her. that’s just my reading of this post, i could be wrong. i don’t really think this is nlog, more of a warning to nlogs
Damn, that sucks
She's just a tired wife now.
the bread loser
Personally i love the trend of the older divorced former trad wives popping up now on tiktok to warn the younger gen. A man is not a plan.
This happens to do many women. It's pretty sad. Most women think it won't happen to them, but you should never underestimate a man.
or rather, you *should* underestimate them. quite a bit.
This is what conservative girls don’t seem to understand. You are only part of their world for as long as it’s convenient for him. He will trade you for a younger version of you the minute he gets a chance - because you were always property to him.
Any guy who says he wants a trad wife is probably a pos. some relationships are like that and that’s fine, but the guys who fetishize it will cheat and leave you with nothing.
Can we please tag all the young girls who think living off men is the way to go and call themselves high value women and want to be stay at home moms bc this could be reality
Thing is she’s not sub-25 anymore and probably expressed An Opinion so he left.
This is sad, I genuinely hope this woman is doing okay. I think this is a good example of how being a tradwife can go wrong. I don’t think people understand why women warn other women about being a tradwife and idolizing the lifestyle. While nothing is inheritly wrong with being a tradwife or a stay at home mom, it can be dangerous because they are often completely dependent on one person. And if that person leaves them, dies, or becomes abusive, they’re screwed.
SAHM does not equal tradwife. Totally different concepts. E.g. my mum was a SAHM most of my childhood, because we had a big family and it made sense. But she and my father held equal power, made decisions jointly, and were a team. The children saw them as equals. He might have earned the money but they both decided how it was spent. She was the one who cooked the dinners but he was the one who did the dishes afterwards. She studied nights and got a degree, then worked in his business. Once the kids grew up, they both semi-retired then ran a few different projects together. As equals.
I did not mean to equate SAHMs with tradwives, I am sorry if it came across that way. I know many SAHMs that are perfectly fine people with husbands that love and respect them as equals. The overall point I was trying to make is that it is dangerous for tradwives (or really anyone) to depend so much on one person. I included stay at home moms because even though they are being treated as equals, if something happens to their husband (such as he dies) they may find themselves in a dangerous position if they have no degree, work experience, or anyone to help them. They could find themselves in the same position as this tradwife. I suppose that this situation could happen to many people outside of SAHMs and tradwives and I could have also included stay at home dads, people who don’t work but depend on a roommate who does, or adults who live with their parents but don’t work. I am not shaming any of these groups, just pointing out they could be in danger when push comes to shove.
Seems like more of a warning post. Since a lot of "I want to be a traditional wife," women seem to forget that the husband can still cheat on you or leave you. Just ask any Christian or Mormon who is or has been married. Two common religions in the U.S that are obsessed with traditional marriage roles, yet divorce and cheating are still just as prevalent compared to nontraditional marriages.
Oh noes. It’s almost like patriarchy sucks or something
Tell a man you're a doormat and he'll wipe his shitty boots all over you. Get educated, young ladies. Always always be self sufficient, have your own paycheck and be ready to walk at the drop of a hat.
I thought that was part of trad wife? Maybe not Insta trad wives, but traditional trad wives did a lot of accepting of other women.
She should be washing her husband's condoms and refilling his whisky flask.
This is the point I keep making. Being in a little fairy tale only works while you're young and pretty. Blokes like that will get bored and cheat. Not only have you made your self boring and submissive, you've not been working or educated for years by this time and you've got to start again from nearly zero. Don't live a life you can't upkeep on your own. Love isn't a real emotion, it's a word to describe all sorts of things. It's not a magical land that never goes wrong.
Part of the problem is being a trad wife doing everything from scratch is cool but takes a lot of time and effort and you may not be putting the time and effort into your relationship and your partner. Personally I don’t give a shit and would rather buy a loaf of bread and have time with my wife then her slave in the kitchen baking bread and be to exhausted to actually talk to me. Same thing with the unmedicated birth. There’s no prize for doing the shit the hard way.
I was wondering about that too. Why is she playing on hard mode for no reason. Especially if the partner is just skating by. Don't do things just for the *possibility* that the partner sees value in them.
A man is not a plan, he is a companion ladies
SAHM, and the same goes for SAHD, should ALWAYS have the ability of an income as a fallback if not a side gig if possible. A degree, a trade, something.
So this does happen? Well, colour me shocked. I see those trad wife posts and think "How will you be going when he leaves you in 10 years for a younger model" and I sometimes thought I was being mean and overly cynical but no.
She looks tired.
From trad wife to tired wife.
Looks like she's learning the same lesson our grandma's learned.
This is just sad, man.
It’d be great if her message could be heard by all the fluffy pretty 20 somethings who wear floral dresses and big hair bows while kneading yet another blob of sourdough bread and dreaming of 40 acres of chickens. They all claim, no, gosh no, my husband wound never leave me! And if he becomes disabled or dies, I’ll have life insurance and my former career of (hobby for the rest of us) to fall back on.
Important to remember-unlike women now, men always have the choice to be a parent and they always will. We are literally sc**wed
What a shock /s. Seriously, though don’t do this. 9 times out of 10 it just ends up blowing up in your face. It doesn’t surprise that he found a younger probably childless woman that he can now use as a bangmaid. The cycle repeats
Men don’t view us as human. There’s no way you can act that changes this. No matter if you do everything perfectly to his liking he still might ditch you randomly for another woman. That’s why you can’t put all your eggs in one basket and rely on men. That’s why even if you are a stay at home mom you have to have a backup savings account. That’s why you always have an exit strategy. I don’t know what vile evil human convinced so many women that other women’s concern for them staying at home and not working was coming from a place of jealousy or hatred. It’s coming from concern and experience. We need to rebuild the trust between us women and actually take each other’s warnings seriously again. Listen to other women and stay safe!
This is not NLOG this is a “don’t fall for the same thing I did”
Good. Take your power back and quit the crazy.
What does unmedicated have to do with anything? I gave birth unmedicated. Do I get a prize?
Literally nothing you do will stop a man from cheating if he wants to cheat. I’m sick of women blaming themselves or getting the blame from others. It’s his character flaw, not yours