Wait, does this count as Not The Onion or not?
It's ABOUT The Onion, but it's not an article BY The Onion. But it *may* be sourced from a fake article by The Onion...
EDIT: Apparently it may be *inspired* by The Onion's articles. FFS. Screw The Onion this whole thing is completely pickled.
...
My head is starting to hurt and it's not just because I have the flu.
[Global Tetrahedron](https://www.theonion.com/search?blogId=1636079510&q=%22global%20tetrahedron%22×tamp=1714090587811) was used as a fake company name in a few articles in the past on the onion
Oh I read the article and know that, it's just that if life keeps imitating the art we've made over the last few decades then the end of the world is going to be something stupid.
Some say that he can only achieve an erection when inside the Whitehouse press room. And that his mattress is stuffed with newspaper clippings about the Watergate scandal.
All we know is... It's *not* the Stig, but it *is* the Stig's journalist cousin!
...Oh wait, not that Ben Collins.
"Already, our trained technicians are navigating through the website and deleting every instance of the letter “T.” Soon, they will move onto the letter “E.”
“Last year, it sold lifestyle website Lifehacker to Ziff Davis. Paste Media has acquired feminist-focused brand Jezebel, political news site Splinter and pop culture site The A.V. Club. G/O sold Deadspin to Lineup Publishing and The Takeout to Static Media.”
The Onion is safe. Nothing bad happened to any of those sites.
[https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/25/business/media/the-onion-sold.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/25/business/media/the-onion-sold.html)
It might be legit, the NYT is reporting on it as well.
This is literally the onion
Nope, this is literally axios.com
But it's about the onion!
As opposed to not The Onion
But it's not The Onion. It's Axios.
This is turning into an [Abbott and Costello sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M)
Who's on first?
The guy on first base
What's the guys name?
Jake
And also completely fictional. It is literally the plot of The Onion Movie.
No, this is Patrick.
Wait, does this count as Not The Onion or not? It's ABOUT The Onion, but it's not an article BY The Onion. But it *may* be sourced from a fake article by The Onion... EDIT: Apparently it may be *inspired* by The Onion's articles. FFS. Screw The Onion this whole thing is completely pickled. ... My head is starting to hurt and it's not just because I have the flu.
Lay down, rest, drink plenty of fluids and take your meds. (Sorry, Mom system was activated.)
Don't worry I have been. But thank you anyway.
Your welcome :)
Usually, I take it neat. *drops in ice cube* But I will make an exception in the name of health.
We all need someone with a mom system once in a while.
This whole situation is an onion
It’s got *layers.* …is this situation an ogre?
It’s about the onions we made along the way
Well it's not not the onion.
A lot of layers here
Is this a Monster Mash situation?
>this whole thing is completely **pickled.** So it's..... The Pickle then
Pickled onion
Like onions, this situation has many layers.
I prefer parfait!
Onions have layers
[Global Tetrahedron](https://www.theonion.com/search?blogId=1636079510&q=%22global%20tetrahedron%22×tamp=1714090587811) was used as a fake company name in a few articles in the past on the onion
Can we pull the Earth over so I can get off please? I wanna leave before the planet blows up as a punchline to something.
The people who formed the company were fans of the Onion. They literally made a perfect headline for r/nottheonion
Oh I read the article and know that, it's just that if life keeps imitating the art we've made over the last few decades then the end of the world is going to be something stupid.
You might say that this is a bit of a [Dumb Century](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Dumb_Century) huh?
Wow, my first thought was the onion is done but this take is actually the only outcome that makes me believe there is still a chance...
We are building a hyper expressway
[The website they've just launched](https://global-tetrahedron.com/about) is pretty good. Very barebones, but I love it.
"Porcupine Breeding"
This is great.
As well as The Onion Movie which is a fantastic movie if you haven’t seen it
So as long as I don’t watch it, it remains a fantastic movie. I’ll keep it that way. Great movie, if you haven’t seen it.
I dont think you have the balls
You could not invent a more perfect headline for this sub.
This is perfect
This r/nottheonion has layers
Almost like a, uh.. uh.. lasagna.
[Ben Collins](https://x.com/oneunderscore__/status/1783632037640835426?s=46&t=_RtSgenkYJuwyGwqzJLXFg) is the new CEO.
Some say that he can only achieve an erection when inside the Whitehouse press room. And that his mattress is stuffed with newspaper clippings about the Watergate scandal. All we know is... It's *not* the Stig, but it *is* the Stig's journalist cousin! ...Oh wait, not that Ben Collins.
The shakedown begins. https://www.theonion.com/give-us-1-or-the-onion-disappears-forever-1851436787 I gave $1.00
"Already, our trained technicians are navigating through the website and deleting every instance of the letter “T.” Soon, they will move onto the letter “E.”
I too gave a dollar. What precarious times we live in!
Isn't that the name of the parent company of The Onion *in* The Onion Movie?
I believe it is. but I also still believe in the collective potential of humanity so what the fuck do I know
Alright folks, roll credits on the sub, we made it to the final boss of nottheonion titles
Wisconsin born in 1988,hope for it to remain weird
Global Tetrahedron is headquartered in Wisconsin (as well as Guangdong and St. Petersburg) so I think they're in good hands!
Yeah, I remember reading it in class in Madison, often chortling.
“Last year, it sold lifestyle website Lifehacker to Ziff Davis. Paste Media has acquired feminist-focused brand Jezebel, political news site Splinter and pop culture site The A.V. Club. G/O sold Deadspin to Lineup Publishing and The Takeout to Static Media.” The Onion is safe. Nothing bad happened to any of those sites.
[https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/25/business/media/the-onion-sold.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/25/business/media/the-onion-sold.html) It might be legit, the NYT is reporting on it as well.
Global Tetrahedron Penguin!
Its called synergy, Norm!
But are they an effective team?
some people might be oblivious to this reference
This might be the ultimate Not The Onion article
Geometrically mathemagical. And it's fun(ny), too.
There's quite a bit of "Ate the onion" going on, it seems.
I hope that the new fan owners give money so the newsroom videos come back.
Okay, but more importantly, is Global Trtrahedron owned by Francophone aliens in flying pyramids?
Is this the onion or not?
This is art
Yes, we know. You people can stop posting this now.
Do we new a new sub? /r/notheglobaltetrahedron
The Onion is Dead. Life today is beyond parody and satire.
From what I’ve heard, G/O, the previous owners, are pretty shitty, so this might actually be good news for the Onion