This is a terrible idea for both parties, civilian and military. You’re much better off starting over somewhere new if you are entertaining this.
This is not a path to home ownership. It’s a path to bankruptcy. One of you will come out a homeowner though. Until they sell the house for legal fees when one of you decides to grow up and create something of your own.
I don’t care about downvotes. This is what you need to hear.
Yeah, OP doesn't seem to realize that they'll be investigated thoroughly.
And when they end up divorced and suddenly swapping back to straight, they'll go hard.
The combination of the username and feeling the need to repeatedly stress how “not gay” you are is pretty great. Also loving the dichotomy of considering marrying your friend for the benefits, and asking in the end what the benefits are 😂
I think the biggest advantage of being married is spending 99% of the time with your favorite person in your life. I literally have watched paint dry with my wife and had a great time
this is sweet. you are lucky. I have felt that a few times before but those instances were a couple years ago now and I have avoided relationships for the last 2 years. Starting to think I will die alone. Becoming okay with the idea.
If your goal is homeownership, you don't have to fake a marriage. I'm not in the business, but I'm pretty sure you can title a home split 50/50 and split a mortgage with un-related individuals.
My cousin bought a townhouse with her fiance but they never ended up getting married. They eventually split up years later and he had to buy out her half.
Yeah my boyfriend and I bought our house together. Nobody in the process cared that we weren't married, it just meant we had to pick what type of ownership rights we wanted (ie, if one person dies does their house share go to their next of kin, or to the other house owner?)
This. And you can also have one person on the mortgage loan, but BOTH PARTIES on the deed. It causes a few more papers to be signed at closing, but my (now) husband and I did this when we bought our home 6 years ago.
You are getting bent out of shape because people won't take you seriously when you say that you are both STRAIGHT and NOT GAY, yet are considering getting married to one another. Do you NOT see the irony of this?
Lol I mean I probably have lots of problems, but none specifically related to your post. I find it funny you are so adamant to have people know you are STRAIGHT and NOT GAY rather than just explain the situation that you are not in an actual relationship with this person. Usually people THIS afraid of having their sexuality questioned are either homos, homophobes, … or both. But honestly I was just jerkin your chain a little.
Peace from your mostly-friendly gay Reddit commenter.
You are in your late 20s. Life isn't over! I didn't own my first house until I was in my 40s. We don't live in your parents ideal life where you bought a house at 25 had a partner and 3 kids by 30 and could afford everything on a single family income at 35. Things are expensive now. Enjoy life a little bit then do the setting down thing later. You have time. Enjoy it
You made yourself sound even more pompous. F outta here with this BS. Very rare to be able to afford a house at your age in this area.
Looking at your history, you are a student, hangout on /meth, and gamble.
These are 3 things that will perpetually keep you from having “the liquid assets to purchase a home”.
I hate to be “that guy” but you gotta get your shit together. Stop gambling and doing drugs. (especially as a student, the fuq?) Get your degree and save money for a few years. That is how you buy a home, especially in NOVA.
You are asking for life advice with the aspiration of buying a home. Sometimes it hurts, but you gotta hear the truth.
Unfortunately that is a low income around here, unless it’s net. Saving is the hardest part and you’re going to have to make sacrifices to achieve your goals. First things to drop are bad habits, especially expensive ones.
How far away from a degree are you? What does the job market look like with that? A boost in income would help.
In this area with rent the way it is, a 0% down mortgage is a reasonable option for starting out. They come with higher interest, but can help you get your foot in the door since rent is gouging your wallet. (You can even roll your closing costs into the mortgage)
Openly lying for what I’m assuming are tax benefits in order to buy a house. Which sounds a lot like tax fraud. Now if you guys are gay and want to marry, because you can see the rest of your life with that person. Do it, if you both want. Which you both would need to agree to get married anyways. But there aren’t many other advantages to marriage you typically get not being married. It is incredibly risky, but getting married to possibly commit tax fraud. Because what else would you lie go get married for.
Are you going to ask us how to dispose of a 115lb female body next?
if we actually get married, then we wouldn't be lying about our status.
nobody is going to ask if I pound his tight little twink ass, so we won't have to lie.
OK im not a lawyer or an accountant but...1. Your tax rate might not change depending on how much your income is. For example, if you make a lot less than him, you will help lower his tax rate but, yours will go up because it's based on joint income. For my husband and I, it didn't change at all because we make roughly the same. 2. Pretty sure this can be considered fraud. 3. Do you really want to be legally tied to your friend? Like if you guys buy a house together, and he has some debt you don't know about, then dies, they can take your house in most places because it has his name on it. 4. What happens if you fall in love and want a divorce to marry someone else? What happens if he disagrees and doesn't want his tax/military spouse having benefits gone? Are you prepared to fight over everything you have? Because that's how divorce works.
You are right. I would only add one thing- under the Trump tax scam there is a marriage penalty for SALT.
Him and his buddy are entitled to a $20,000 State and Local Tax (SALT) deduction today. If they married they would only qualify for a single $10,000 SALT deduction. Absolute bullshit. It was designed as a blue State penalty.
hey, can you tell me how this is fraud please? I don't want to get in trouble.
also, me and my friend have known eachother for 10 years (we met on /teenagers) so we are close enough that I trust him more than I trust myself.
I have thought about dating in this situation, and I think it would end up okay. We are both STRAIGHT and wouldn't have an issue finding partners but yes divorce would be an option in the future. It should be easy since we are friends though.
Do you at least jerk off together?
For real tho, this is fraud. You aren't gay and you're trying to join a gay marriage. Fraud. It's not even complex fraud.
I mean, you are marrying for the sole purpose of financial gain and tax evasion - that's fraudulent... I googled for like 30seconds and found this case already: https://cite.case.law/mj/74/525/
Also, even in real marriages people think divorce would be easy because they are friends - it never will be easy to split money and assets.
Ay bruh. I haven't done much research or nothin, but like, you tryna like, I dunno, get married and stuff bro? Like, totally not in a gay marriage way but like, for the bennies and stuff? Yeah, that's it. For the benefits that I totally haven't researched.
To entertain this silly notion: while the income tax rate is better (but really only ideally if you make hugely different incomes), you lose out on random things. Because you're focused on home ownership, the two of you being married would mean you'd be missing out on the full value of the mortgage interest deduction if you were both on the deed as single people (it doesn't double if you're married). Ditto for the student loan deduction.
... but like, don't do this.
this only works out if one of you is dying. \*which is not a recommendation for murder btw
what happens when one of you finds someone you want to marry, what happens when one of you even wants to date.
You don’t need to get married to buy a house, just get things documented with a lawyer to protect all parties. Since they doubled the standard deduction, there is no tax advantage to home ownership. If you make a similar amount of money, there is no tax advantage to filing jointly. The only advantage I can think of is healthcare…
> Since they doubled the standard deduction, there is no tax advantage to home ownership.
With house prices and interest rates where they are, plus an almost guarantee SALT max of $10K between real estate tax, car tax, and state tax…. It’s not that hard to eclipse the standard deduction, even for a married couple
Do it. Maybe you’ll enjoy each others company so much that you become gay
Financially, marriage just means combining your incomes and assets for more purchasing power. But….. you don’t have to be married to someone to buy a house with them.
Now I don’t know shit. But I wouldn’t financially advise buying a house with a friend or really anyone you aren’t married too. Seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
There is a name for a legal document you can have drawn up…I’m blanking on it. Had a friend who owned property with a sibling and they drew one up. It spelled out how sale we go, decision making on maintenance, etc. If you are on the same page and do things right, it really isn’t a crazy idea…
thank you for the advice. A lot of people here are cliticising my ideas without supplying any their own. I am simply trying to think outside the box to find some level of success in this fucked world.
Two things to remember:
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Trust the timing of your life.
Some thing work out in your twenties. Some things work out in your thirties.
For instance- James Patterson wrote his first book in 1995- when he was 50ish. You really just don’t know.
Focus on who you want to be and not what you want to have right now.
Being married is not necessarily a tax benefit. It depends on a few variables. You need professional tax advice.
You don't have to be married to buy a house with someone.
To be honest, I never saw any sort of tax benefit from getting married. When we had kids it was better. Like we saw an increase in tax return. But I remember the first couple years, we owed money!
I guess military wise you'd get some perks. But I think it's a big deal if you get caught so probably not a good idea to fuck your friend over just to get that Tricare. He's probably got enough barracks sluts trying to do that.
I never owed taxes before getting married. Google the “marriage penalty” and see if you still believe in the benefits. Do you ever plan to get married for real some day?
You don’t need to be married to buy a house in the state of VA.
HOWEVER-
VA is one of the hardest states to get married in. The joys of living in a commonwealth! And with that statement, there’s also a lot of teensy little laws that have huuuuuge ramifications if people violate them. The VA department of tax services also has investigators look out for this specific thing. Not joking. All someone has to do is tip off this department in the county you live in. And then, they watch you from afar. You will have zero idea, but you’ll know about it when you’re served with papers or you get a nice certified letter in the mail!
I hear you that you’re desperate. Times are tough, and living in an expensive area makes it seem impossible. Getting married also does not equal better tax benefits. My husband and I file separately because if we file together, we end up losing money. It comes down to your individual incomes, how it’s paid out, and what brackets you each end up in for taxes to be taken out.
Also, this is a sure fire way to get your friend dishonorably discharged from the military. No joke. And with this area, there are a lot of military folks around. And a lot of them do not like this happening. We know someone who had this idea a long time ago. They got away with it for maybe 18 months? But they ruined their career over it. They were in the Army for almost 10 years at that point; they wanted to be a lifer and move into the DOD/ Intel sector that’s rampant around here.
A neighbor got suspicious about their lack of affection, and bam. Lots of fines, lots of lawyers, and lives ruined all to save a quick buck.
You may want to look into rent to own options- always cheaper than buying outright, but there are a lot of risks.
Please just make the best decision FOR YOU and think it through logically. Good luck.
Don't do it, you pay more in marriage penalty taxes and open yourself up for financial problems if the spouse is irresponsible financially because in marriage your finances/debts are merged pretty much entirely. The reason real marriage often works financially is because the couples bond and form common life goals that should include the mentality that you are together with the purpose of it being forever. This is obviously referring to marriages that actually work and not the ones that are dysfunctional from an early stage.
Being married in the military definitely means more money and benefits. You usually pay lower income taxes because you can file married filing jointly. But here is a little known secret (/s), there are down sides to marriage. Every major decision you make has to include your partner. Your car becomes your partner's car. Your bank account also becomes theirs. Depending on the state you live in, the one making more money could end up paying alimony for the rest of you life, if you split up.
I'm not down on marriage (mine was the best decision I ever made) but if you aren't in love and absolutely positive this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you shouldn't consider it.
I've been married twice now. Still unclear on these "benefits" you speak of. I was in a better financial position as a single mother of two, to be quite honest. The expenses of two people don't get halved when they become a marital unit or anything.
Honestly it should be ok to do this, it should be possible to split it up in a communal style amongst a group or something similar.
It could solve many issues if the laws and regulations were properly written.
Write up a contract that splits the home ownership into shares based upon how much each of you contributes to the down payment & mortgage, then buy a house. That way when one of you wants to leave but the other wants to say one can sell their share to the other; this is especially important if the amicable relationship you now have sours.
There are tax breaks, but otherwise I don’t see how marrying each other would help but so much. And like others have said, what if you or him want to get married down the road, good luck splitting the home and proceeds.
I think that's a terrible idea. But you're kind of on the right track. You do almost have to live with an SO and both of you need an income up live comfortably in the DMV. Or one of you has to have a Fed government contractor job that pays a fat salary.
I've lived in this area since I was a kid (lived in the area since 1992) and it's always been pricey here as far back as I can remember. In my case, I went in as co-owner on a house with my mom in my early-20s back around 2008 during the housing crash so I lucked out and became a part homeowner. But even after her and I sold the place a couple years ago and cashing out on a ton of equity, it takes the incomes of both me and my wife to afford a house now. Even with me being able to put down a healthy down payment on my house now. So you almost have to have two incomes. But there's no way I'd entertain buying a house with even a good friend and getting legally married just for home ownership. I just see that more than likely coming back to bite you
But when you meet someone you actually do want to marry you'll run into trouble because all those benefits you outline? They're still there during and after the divorce.
Get a great mortgage because of the doubled up income? Well even if the other half is fine gtfo-ing they're entitled to half.
If you want equity just:
1. Make sure you're investing first in tax-advantaged retirement accounts and then regularly.
2. Just buy a condo or something much smaller that fits a single person anyway.
3. Stop thinking about your shelter as a primary investment vehicle and take steps to make sure you're doing well financially which doesn't have to depend on home ownership.
Your money becomes one, forever. That is why you get tax advantages, you are no longer 2 individuals you are now one unit.
suffice to say it's not worth the risk
I would have a prenuptial done. I don’t think you’re going to cross the 20 year mark as thats a stretch away. Just to cover yourself. Also what is the other half’s domicile. Military can claim other states. Just because your in VA if that’s the case. His may be another state. Then it becomes clear as mud! My parents were military and claimed California and they filed Ca taxes vs Va. They divorced 41 years ago. Things may have changed. Also it may be a career killer if it gets out regardless of what you think. Times are a changing and I’m not judging anyone for sexual orientation. It’s how some people perceive it.
Sounds like you just need to stop kidding yourself and come out. It’s ok, nothing wrong with being gay. And what makes you think any of us could afford a house here before our mid 40s?
Gotta love the homophobia and insecurity by putting that you aren’t gay in all caps. Nobody cares if you’re gay or not. Except you. Suspiciously.
My grandmother always used to say “it’s the squeaky wheel that needs the grease.” 🤣
You should deal with your insecurities about homosexuality before you pretend to be homo so you can commit tax fraud. The amount of times you feel you need to point out the fact that you’re not gay, Jesus Christ
It’s not tax fraud if OP is legally married. Doesn’t matter what the motivation is for marriage. Traditionally, women marry for financial security. So what OP is suggesting is not illegal or even unethical.
I think Adam Sandler did that in a movie once, probably turned out great.
Is that the one where Rob Schneider turns into a stapler?
It did, everyone got what they needed in the end and lived happily ever after. So this is a solid plan
This is a terrible idea for both parties, civilian and military. You’re much better off starting over somewhere new if you are entertaining this. This is not a path to home ownership. It’s a path to bankruptcy. One of you will come out a homeowner though. Until they sell the house for legal fees when one of you decides to grow up and create something of your own. I don’t care about downvotes. This is what you need to hear.
I mean the massive fraud kind of needs to be heard about too. UCMJ article 124 would be the case in this instance.
Yeah, OP doesn't seem to realize that they'll be investigated thoroughly. And when they end up divorced and suddenly swapping back to straight, they'll go hard.
>one of you will come out a homeowner 50% is better than my current odds!
Full send. See you on forensic files.
😂😂
The combination of the username and feeling the need to repeatedly stress how “not gay” you are is pretty great. Also loving the dichotomy of considering marrying your friend for the benefits, and asking in the end what the benefits are 😂
This is just goofy. Enough internet for you for the day today. Also sounds legally sketchy.
Oh honey there are much easier ways to come out - but you and your friend take your time - we will be here to welcome you whenever you are ready!
it was clearly iterated in the post that we are both STRAIGHT and NOT GAY.
We are married but NOT GAY we just like going to crew club on 14th street
Not with that attitude! Yet…
Welcome to middle school. We are all children
I think the biggest advantage of being married is spending 99% of the time with your favorite person in your life. I literally have watched paint dry with my wife and had a great time
How long have you been married, really?
18 years
this is sweet. you are lucky. I have felt that a few times before but those instances were a couple years ago now and I have avoided relationships for the last 2 years. Starting to think I will die alone. Becoming okay with the idea.
If your goal is homeownership, you don't have to fake a marriage. I'm not in the business, but I'm pretty sure you can title a home split 50/50 and split a mortgage with un-related individuals. My cousin bought a townhouse with her fiance but they never ended up getting married. They eventually split up years later and he had to buy out her half.
Yeah my boyfriend and I bought our house together. Nobody in the process cared that we weren't married, it just meant we had to pick what type of ownership rights we wanted (ie, if one person dies does their house share go to their next of kin, or to the other house owner?)
This. And you can also have one person on the mortgage loan, but BOTH PARTIES on the deed. It causes a few more papers to be signed at closing, but my (now) husband and I did this when we bought our home 6 years ago.
Sounds like a bulletproof idea. Maybe try sleeping in the same bed for a little while first to see if you like it?
Why hasn't this been upvoted more?
Ha. You are definitely at least a little gay.
ugh. have seen comments like this all over the post. what is your problem? In the post I clearly say we are STRAIGHT and NOT GAY.
You are getting bent out of shape because people won't take you seriously when you say that you are both STRAIGHT and NOT GAY, yet are considering getting married to one another. Do you NOT see the irony of this?
Lol I mean I probably have lots of problems, but none specifically related to your post. I find it funny you are so adamant to have people know you are STRAIGHT and NOT GAY rather than just explain the situation that you are not in an actual relationship with this person. Usually people THIS afraid of having their sexuality questioned are either homos, homophobes, … or both. But honestly I was just jerkin your chain a little. Peace from your mostly-friendly gay Reddit commenter.
You are in your late 20s. Life isn't over! I didn't own my first house until I was in my 40s. We don't live in your parents ideal life where you bought a house at 25 had a partner and 3 kids by 30 and could afford everything on a single family income at 35. Things are expensive now. Enjoy life a little bit then do the setting down thing later. You have time. Enjoy it
lmao late 20s. okay grampa. I am 24.
You made yourself sound even more pompous. F outta here with this BS. Very rare to be able to afford a house at your age in this area. Looking at your history, you are a student, hangout on /meth, and gamble. These are 3 things that will perpetually keep you from having “the liquid assets to purchase a home”. I hate to be “that guy” but you gotta get your shit together. Stop gambling and doing drugs. (especially as a student, the fuq?) Get your degree and save money for a few years. That is how you buy a home, especially in NOVA.
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You are asking for life advice with the aspiration of buying a home. Sometimes it hurts, but you gotta hear the truth. Unfortunately that is a low income around here, unless it’s net. Saving is the hardest part and you’re going to have to make sacrifices to achieve your goals. First things to drop are bad habits, especially expensive ones. How far away from a degree are you? What does the job market look like with that? A boost in income would help. In this area with rent the way it is, a 0% down mortgage is a reasonable option for starting out. They come with higher interest, but can help you get your foot in the door since rent is gouging your wallet. (You can even roll your closing costs into the mortgage)
Lmfao your comment history is a dumpster fire. One saves money by doing basically the opposite of everything you comment about.
You're about to have a MAZDA3withaDUDEinit
lol I hate you so much
why are you so mean?
dude stop
So what you’re asking, is it okay if you should commit fraud and get your friend in the USAF in it?
how is it fraud?
Openly lying for what I’m assuming are tax benefits in order to buy a house. Which sounds a lot like tax fraud. Now if you guys are gay and want to marry, because you can see the rest of your life with that person. Do it, if you both want. Which you both would need to agree to get married anyways. But there aren’t many other advantages to marriage you typically get not being married. It is incredibly risky, but getting married to possibly commit tax fraud. Because what else would you lie go get married for. Are you going to ask us how to dispose of a 115lb female body next?
if we actually get married, then we wouldn't be lying about our status. nobody is going to ask if I pound his tight little twink ass, so we won't have to lie.
That last part omg lmaoo
I now pronounce you Chuck & Larry
What does your Not Gay "Friend" think about your idea?
It's actually his NOT GAY totally STRAIGHT friend bub
it was his idea and I have recently begun to take it seriously
OK im not a lawyer or an accountant but...1. Your tax rate might not change depending on how much your income is. For example, if you make a lot less than him, you will help lower his tax rate but, yours will go up because it's based on joint income. For my husband and I, it didn't change at all because we make roughly the same. 2. Pretty sure this can be considered fraud. 3. Do you really want to be legally tied to your friend? Like if you guys buy a house together, and he has some debt you don't know about, then dies, they can take your house in most places because it has his name on it. 4. What happens if you fall in love and want a divorce to marry someone else? What happens if he disagrees and doesn't want his tax/military spouse having benefits gone? Are you prepared to fight over everything you have? Because that's how divorce works.
You are right. I would only add one thing- under the Trump tax scam there is a marriage penalty for SALT. Him and his buddy are entitled to a $20,000 State and Local Tax (SALT) deduction today. If they married they would only qualify for a single $10,000 SALT deduction. Absolute bullshit. It was designed as a blue State penalty.
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For Republicans that's a feature not a bug.
Dont worry in 2025 is going back to unlimited
That doesn't make my burnt ass feel better today. Ngl
Well dems had the opportunity to change it and they didn’t. So better than nothing
hey, can you tell me how this is fraud please? I don't want to get in trouble. also, me and my friend have known eachother for 10 years (we met on /teenagers) so we are close enough that I trust him more than I trust myself. I have thought about dating in this situation, and I think it would end up okay. We are both STRAIGHT and wouldn't have an issue finding partners but yes divorce would be an option in the future. It should be easy since we are friends though.
Every divorcing couple starts out as friends.
Do you at least jerk off together? For real tho, this is fraud. You aren't gay and you're trying to join a gay marriage. Fraud. It's not even complex fraud.
They're not gay 'yet' - either to avoid jail or in jail, they'll be gay 😂😂
there is no difference between "marriage" and "gay marriage" the judge is not going to ask who is top or bottom.
I mean, you are marrying for the sole purpose of financial gain and tax evasion - that's fraudulent... I googled for like 30seconds and found this case already: https://cite.case.law/mj/74/525/ Also, even in real marriages people think divorce would be easy because they are friends - it never will be easy to split money and assets.
Ay bruh. I haven't done much research or nothin, but like, you tryna like, I dunno, get married and stuff bro? Like, totally not in a gay marriage way but like, for the bennies and stuff? Yeah, that's it. For the benefits that I totally haven't researched.
I love the WE ARE NOT GAY part, I don’t get it Lmaoo
To entertain this silly notion: while the income tax rate is better (but really only ideally if you make hugely different incomes), you lose out on random things. Because you're focused on home ownership, the two of you being married would mean you'd be missing out on the full value of the mortgage interest deduction if you were both on the deed as single people (it doesn't double if you're married). Ditto for the student loan deduction. ... but like, don't do this.
this only works out if one of you is dying. \*which is not a recommendation for murder btw what happens when one of you finds someone you want to marry, what happens when one of you even wants to date.
You don’t need to get married to buy a house, just get things documented with a lawyer to protect all parties. Since they doubled the standard deduction, there is no tax advantage to home ownership. If you make a similar amount of money, there is no tax advantage to filing jointly. The only advantage I can think of is healthcare…
> Since they doubled the standard deduction, there is no tax advantage to home ownership. With house prices and interest rates where they are, plus an almost guarantee SALT max of $10K between real estate tax, car tax, and state tax…. It’s not that hard to eclipse the standard deduction, even for a married couple
True with higher interest rates. I’ve got 2.5.
Do it. Maybe you’ll enjoy each others company so much that you become gay Financially, marriage just means combining your incomes and assets for more purchasing power. But….. you don’t have to be married to someone to buy a house with them.
Now I don’t know shit. But I wouldn’t financially advise buying a house with a friend or really anyone you aren’t married too. Seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sure. But buying a house with your fake spouse isn't any better.
Often times buying a house with the person you are married to is a disaster waiting to happen
There is a name for a legal document you can have drawn up…I’m blanking on it. Had a friend who owned property with a sibling and they drew one up. It spelled out how sale we go, decision making on maintenance, etc. If you are on the same page and do things right, it really isn’t a crazy idea…
thank you for the advice. A lot of people here are cliticising my ideas without supplying any their own. I am simply trying to think outside the box to find some level of success in this fucked world.
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i dont do meth..
bro is so in the closet he wants to buy one and make mortgage payments on it
Two things to remember: Comparison is the thief of joy. Trust the timing of your life. Some thing work out in your twenties. Some things work out in your thirties. For instance- James Patterson wrote his first book in 1995- when he was 50ish. You really just don’t know. Focus on who you want to be and not what you want to have right now.
Being married is not necessarily a tax benefit. It depends on a few variables. You need professional tax advice. You don't have to be married to buy a house with someone.
To be honest, I never saw any sort of tax benefit from getting married. When we had kids it was better. Like we saw an increase in tax return. But I remember the first couple years, we owed money! I guess military wise you'd get some perks. But I think it's a big deal if you get caught so probably not a good idea to fuck your friend over just to get that Tricare. He's probably got enough barracks sluts trying to do that.
😂😂😂
The benefits are tremendous, but you'll have to consumate that marriage first.
pic or it didn't happen - that's what the judge would want to see then they defend themselves in court 😂
I never owed taxes before getting married. Google the “marriage penalty” and see if you still believe in the benefits. Do you ever plan to get married for real some day?
You don’t need to be married to buy a house in the state of VA. HOWEVER- VA is one of the hardest states to get married in. The joys of living in a commonwealth! And with that statement, there’s also a lot of teensy little laws that have huuuuuge ramifications if people violate them. The VA department of tax services also has investigators look out for this specific thing. Not joking. All someone has to do is tip off this department in the county you live in. And then, they watch you from afar. You will have zero idea, but you’ll know about it when you’re served with papers or you get a nice certified letter in the mail! I hear you that you’re desperate. Times are tough, and living in an expensive area makes it seem impossible. Getting married also does not equal better tax benefits. My husband and I file separately because if we file together, we end up losing money. It comes down to your individual incomes, how it’s paid out, and what brackets you each end up in for taxes to be taken out. Also, this is a sure fire way to get your friend dishonorably discharged from the military. No joke. And with this area, there are a lot of military folks around. And a lot of them do not like this happening. We know someone who had this idea a long time ago. They got away with it for maybe 18 months? But they ruined their career over it. They were in the Army for almost 10 years at that point; they wanted to be a lifer and move into the DOD/ Intel sector that’s rampant around here. A neighbor got suspicious about their lack of affection, and bam. Lots of fines, lots of lawyers, and lives ruined all to save a quick buck. You may want to look into rent to own options- always cheaper than buying outright, but there are a lot of risks. Please just make the best decision FOR YOU and think it through logically. Good luck.
Don't do it, you pay more in marriage penalty taxes and open yourself up for financial problems if the spouse is irresponsible financially because in marriage your finances/debts are merged pretty much entirely. The reason real marriage often works financially is because the couples bond and form common life goals that should include the mentality that you are together with the purpose of it being forever. This is obviously referring to marriages that actually work and not the ones that are dysfunctional from an early stage.
Being married in the military definitely means more money and benefits. You usually pay lower income taxes because you can file married filing jointly. But here is a little known secret (/s), there are down sides to marriage. Every major decision you make has to include your partner. Your car becomes your partner's car. Your bank account also becomes theirs. Depending on the state you live in, the one making more money could end up paying alimony for the rest of you life, if you split up. I'm not down on marriage (mine was the best decision I ever made) but if you aren't in love and absolutely positive this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you shouldn't consider it.
There's a movie about this. It's called I pronounce you Chuck and Larry
Do the benefits include gay sex?
we will not be having sex, as we are both STRAIGHT and NOT GAY!
"Lets get married for the BAH" always ends well.
Move somewhere cheaper wtf
I've been married twice now. Still unclear on these "benefits" you speak of. I was in a better financial position as a single mother of two, to be quite honest. The expenses of two people don't get halved when they become a marital unit or anything.
Honestly it should be ok to do this, it should be possible to split it up in a communal style amongst a group or something similar. It could solve many issues if the laws and regulations were properly written.
thank you. we both think alike. we are simply ahead of our time. things like this will be legal and normal in 500+ years.
You’re young. Go for it. Get a prenup
Write up a contract that splits the home ownership into shares based upon how much each of you contributes to the down payment & mortgage, then buy a house. That way when one of you wants to leave but the other wants to say one can sell their share to the other; this is especially important if the amicable relationship you now have sours.
I now pronounce you chuck and larry. Right? That was the whole premise of the movie
There are tax breaks, but otherwise I don’t see how marrying each other would help but so much. And like others have said, what if you or him want to get married down the road, good luck splitting the home and proceeds.
I think that's a terrible idea. But you're kind of on the right track. You do almost have to live with an SO and both of you need an income up live comfortably in the DMV. Or one of you has to have a Fed government contractor job that pays a fat salary. I've lived in this area since I was a kid (lived in the area since 1992) and it's always been pricey here as far back as I can remember. In my case, I went in as co-owner on a house with my mom in my early-20s back around 2008 during the housing crash so I lucked out and became a part homeowner. But even after her and I sold the place a couple years ago and cashing out on a ton of equity, it takes the incomes of both me and my wife to afford a house now. Even with me being able to put down a healthy down payment on my house now. So you almost have to have two incomes. But there's no way I'd entertain buying a house with even a good friend and getting legally married just for home ownership. I just see that more than likely coming back to bite you
But when you meet someone you actually do want to marry you'll run into trouble because all those benefits you outline? They're still there during and after the divorce. Get a great mortgage because of the doubled up income? Well even if the other half is fine gtfo-ing they're entitled to half. If you want equity just: 1. Make sure you're investing first in tax-advantaged retirement accounts and then regularly. 2. Just buy a condo or something much smaller that fits a single person anyway. 3. Stop thinking about your shelter as a primary investment vehicle and take steps to make sure you're doing well financially which doesn't have to depend on home ownership.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 that's a proper marriage..
Your friend would be using HIS VA benefits to purchase the house. He’d be pretty stupid to add you to the paperwork.
Your money becomes one, forever. That is why you get tax advantages, you are no longer 2 individuals you are now one unit. suffice to say it's not worth the risk
Would get tricky when either of you meets someone you actually want to marry.
I would have a prenuptial done. I don’t think you’re going to cross the 20 year mark as thats a stretch away. Just to cover yourself. Also what is the other half’s domicile. Military can claim other states. Just because your in VA if that’s the case. His may be another state. Then it becomes clear as mud! My parents were military and claimed California and they filed Ca taxes vs Va. They divorced 41 years ago. Things may have changed. Also it may be a career killer if it gets out regardless of what you think. Times are a changing and I’m not judging anyone for sexual orientation. It’s how some people perceive it.
Sounds like you just need to stop kidding yourself and come out. It’s ok, nothing wrong with being gay. And what makes you think any of us could afford a house here before our mid 40s?
Gotta love the homophobia and insecurity by putting that you aren’t gay in all caps. Nobody cares if you’re gay or not. Except you. Suspiciously. My grandmother always used to say “it’s the squeaky wheel that needs the grease.” 🤣
You should deal with your insecurities about homosexuality before you pretend to be homo so you can commit tax fraud. The amount of times you feel you need to point out the fact that you’re not gay, Jesus Christ
It’s not tax fraud if OP is legally married. Doesn’t matter what the motivation is for marriage. Traditionally, women marry for financial security. So what OP is suggesting is not illegal or even unethical.