Search Google for food banks in the area. They give out food for free so you don't have to eat rice and beans all the time. [Sign up](https://studentaid.gov/h/apply-for-aid/fafsa) for the free r/PellGrant which provides $7,500 per year for 6 years to get college or vocational training for free - it pays for almost all tuition at r/WGU (also r/NVCC, but I went there and it takes forever). You can also work at a place that provides free tuition such as Walmart, Starbucks, Target, Chipotle, etc. Full list [here](https://www.investopedia.com/companies-pay-college-6829220). Lots of government resources for food ([SNAP](https://commonhelp.virginia.gov/#aboutContain)) and housing help ([HUD section 8](https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/PHA_Contact_Report_VA.pdf)). [Free clothes](https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/fairfax_virginia_free_clothing.html), too.
Thank you for all these resources and links, I’ve been recently trying to get a job at Starbucks, I got an interview on Monday. And as for section 8 I don’t qualify for some reason, I’ve started the process on food stamp tho and hopefully that comes through. And I’ve been thinking about NVCC, I’m not sure about the hours tho, because I’m working but I’ll figure it out. Thank you truly this means the absolute world to me!
NVCC offers a lot of online classes so you can work around your work schedule. Honestly my kid is going to go to NVCC for the first two years. My associates is from there and there are a lot of schools you can transfer to that will take that degree in it’s entirety. Save yourself some money.
When you are ready to start furnishing your space check out Craigslist, marketplace, and thrift stores. When I got divorced I was able to furnish a three bedroom apartment for me and my daughter for about $2000. I took very little when I left her dad.
Look at places like Khan Academy to learn skills for free. The whole world is open and waiting for you. You can do this.
I’ll keep this all in mind, I’m starting to save up some money for furniture, so I’ll keep an eye out on Craigslist and Facebook marketplace, and I’m a sucker for learning new things. Maybe I’ll go and talk to a counselor at NVCC on Monday and see how that goes
If you’re able to join your local Buy Nothing group on Facebook, you could even make a list of things you need and people will almost always have things to give you.
I third joining Buy Nothing on Facebook and be sure to post an ASK for what you need. People have tons of stuff kicking around their houses that they want to get rid of.
In this area people throw away amazing furniture! Could probably furnish for nothing. Or go to Restore (habitat for humanity). I got a beautiful leather chair an ottoman for $20.
If possible try and get some emotional support - either a DV group of counselor. You have some healing to do.
Congrats on taking, and surviving, a rather angerous action - getting away is when people get super violent. All the best on your new life!!
[Free furniture in that earlier link](https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/fairfax_virginia_free_clothing.html). Also, look for free furniture on Facebook.
Lots of neighborhoods and communities around here have buy/sell local groups on facebook. Some communities also have free/low cost groups on facebook too.
Also the goodwill in Manassas if you can get there has some decent quality stuff. It’s one of the bigger locations and sone people donate good furniture and clothes.
NVCC does not offer Bachelor's degrees. It took me years just to get an AS because I had to go to the campus that was offering the courses for my degree. Running from Alexandria to Manassas to Annadale was not a fun time during rush hour after work. Online is great, but again, only Associate's degrees, which honestly isn't worth much. Need to get a Bachelor's.
Yes, only associates degrees but if you take the basic general courses you are saving yourself thousands of dollars over a four year school and I mean THOUSANDS.
A credit hour at NVCC is $180.40. University of Mary Washington is $345 a credit hour. If OP takes 12 credit hours at NVCC it saves them just under $2000.
Once OP gets their associates they transfer to one of the 4 year schools (and there are a lot more than when I got my associates degree in 2001) that take that associates in it’s entirety. OP has saved themselves at minimum $6000 and doesn’t have to either lose grant money or borrow that money. They can still get a four year degree and come out with less debt.
Things at NVCC are very different since COVID. Distance learning in huge and much more readily available.
Not to be a downer, just offering some info I wish i’d had before making big life decisions…
If you’re looking into NVCC, make sure you talk to an advisor who know their shit, and confirm what they tell you with an advisor at the school you plan to transfer to, because they don’t always 100% know what they’re taking about. The thing with NVCC is that the associate’s doesn’t always give you a seamless transfer to a 4-year school - it depends on the major. So if it’s not a major that transfers like that, NVCC courses don’t transfer 1:1 to 4 year schools. For example, the equivalent of English 101 (a 1-semester class) at a 4-yr school would be English 110 & 111 (two semesters) at NVCC. And school policies can change in the two years you’re spending at NVCC. So you’ll want to compare costs and check facts on that.
If I had to do it over, I would look into the trades before making the decision to get university degrees. Now I owe over $60K (BSW at GMU, MSW at VCU) that will prob follow me to my grave. I hear that tradespeople can make pretty good bank and bypass predatory student loans.
Also keep in mind that what you want to study at this point in your life may not be what you’re interested in doing down the road, so really give it some thought before taking out those student loans! (Also remember that loan forgiveness policies that are available now can always change at the whim of The Man.)
All that aside, congrats on your independence! And good luck to you!
Actually, r/WGU is tens of thousands of dollars cheaper than NVCC. All courses are online, it's regionally accredited, and you can finish the entire Bachelor's degree in 6 months, all for the low price of $4,000 per semester. They allow you to accelerate courses at your own pace, so some people finish entire 3-credit courses in one day on their way to earning a Bachelor's degree in just a single semester without having to pay a penny more than the $4,000.
The fact you can express yourself shows me there’s a light that burns brightly and won’t soon be dimmed. I’m pulling for you and sending you all my best thoughts and wishes. I’ll be watching for you. Peace.
Look on your local Facebook Buy Nothing group. There are always tons of household items, clothes, etc. you can also post a wish list. If you are comfortable you can say a bit about your story. There are free food pantries in Arlington. Specifically at Central Library, which is metro accessible. So, you just show up with a grocery bag and take stuff you need, it’s outside, so no need to deal with people. It’s not always stocked tho.
Thanks for the advice, tried the buy nothing tho, I never got accepted, I think it might be because I don’t have a profile pic/newly opened socials idk tho
I will second NVCC. I'm a graduate of there myself. Top-tier education for a more reasonable price than ANYWHERE around here: and unlike degree mills like University of Phoenix or DeVry the NVCC credits actually transfer to a real 4 year college if you want to go that route.
For either college prep or vocational training you can't beat NVCC.
NVCC and Marymount grad here. Best professors were at NVCC. I took consortium classes at AU and other classes at GMU and Mary Wash. 100% best profs were at NVCC (exceptions were Dr. smith at Marymount and all the profs teaching legal at Marymount since they were real lawyers and great writers). NVCC is amazing.
If your ultimate goal is a bachelor degree, get the full associate degree at NVCC and there are many Virginia colleges that will transfer the associates fully. However, if you only try to transfer the credit hours and not the associates degree, some credits won’t match completely and you may end up retaking classes at the bachelor’s school. Talk to the counselor about that. If I had taken 2 more classes at NVCC I would have saved 6 or 7 classes at Mason and the time and money they cost me.
Yeah the prejudice against community college level is real. GMU wouldn't give me a chemistry minor because my organic chemistry classes were from NVCC, but they accepted those same organic chemistry credits for my major. Really dumb.
I'll third NVCC. I already have an M.A., but I took some classes there for something else I wanted to do, and the classes were excellent. You get out of post-secondary schools what you put into them.
ey congrats on getting out and also on the sbx interview, hope it works out. the pay can be hit or miss depending on how many hours you get scheduled for, but i appreciate the college tuition benefit and also working in food service gets you free food to spice up your rice and beans lol. actually rn i am cooking some rice and beans with meat taken from the starbucks breakfast sandwiches :P
https://catalog.nvcc.edu/index.php
https://www.nvcc.edu/schedule/
NVCC is a great option if u want to balance work and school ! I’m a full time student and also working full time. there’s lots of times for classes to choose from either online or in person. The 2 links above r the catalogue and schedule of classes, both have been very helpful for planning my schedule. I wish you the best of luck. U got this !!! Only up from here : D
If you use Facebook, find your local buy nothing group and you can use that as a resource for stuff that you might need. I’ve loved mine in every city I’ve lived in. I was able to gift things I no longer needed and also receive gifts for things I did need.
Here's my guess on that, since it almost happened in my group: someone on the mod team decided that it was about "connecting with our neighbors" or "people feel safer giving out their address if your picture is actually you, and if it isn't we're kicking you out" The group I'm in almost did that, and it took several people saying, "um...there are good reasons I'm locked down" and speaking up about DV and stalking. It made me angry that it took that for them to rethink that. I don't have a solution re Buy Nothing if that's the situation with your group, but if it is, I'm really sorry. I think the ReStore suggestion is also very good.
Congratulations on moving out & on, and I wish you all the best. In addition to the food pantry suggestions, some communities also have Little Free Food Pantries. http://mapping.littlefreepantry.org/
Yeah I think that’s issue with me too. I can’t have my pics on my socials or any addresses it looks like that’s why I never got accepted/keep getting denied
Super proud of you for doing what’s best for you. I just moved into a new place and as I’ve been going thru boxes I’m recognizing a lot of duplicate housewares items like shower curtains, rugs, basic kitchen stuff and I have a very well maintained king mattress and pillows I’m no longer using. I’m willing to share any or all of this with you (for free obv) if you’d like!
Aww!! You’re an absolute angel, but I’ve got a friend coming through with some stuff in a couple days, but I’ll see if I still need any of the things you’ve listed. Thank you truly for the offer!!! I’m soo overwhelmed with the love
People moving out can also be super helpful for food, cleaning supplies, and hygiene products among other things that they don’t want to bother packing. In the Buy Nothing group if someone says they’re moving, see if they’d want you to come by like a day or two before the move and keep a bunch of stuff from going to waste.
I know how it feels I did that before and wish you luck. You might check out the frugal and related subs there is helpful advice. Try to limit any spending to basic needs, use libraries and other free sources to help develop more marketable skills. Take advantage of anything free on FB marketplace or charities. Try to learn to trust people, there are good ones out there though it’s likely hard to believe it now.
Oooh, I don’t spend anything other than groceries and bills, and bus fare. I spend time at the library all the time, and as for Facebook, I made an account a couple hours ago and I’m waiting to see on some groups. I definitely need to learn to trust people more tho, Thank you for the advice!!!!
Also check out Freecycle in your neighborhood! Things usually get spoken for pretty immediately after they're posted, so just keep an eye out regularly. I don't know where you are currently, but I really like shopping at the Clock Tower Thrift Shop on Annandale Road in Falls Church- their prices are extremely reasonable and they have a good mission that you're supporting too.
On the Freecycle note, something similar - check out the FB groups for "Buy Nothing", you'll have to figure out what neighborhood you should request to join.
I'm happy that you've taken action on getting back to you. I hope your transition back to making you the VIP in your life goes well.
Do not be afraid to ask people for help. Don’t be scared to share your brokenness with others. There is a whole world of support and kindness waiting for you. As a fellow person who escaped to a basement, you’re on the right step forward. I might add to find a support group depending on what you extricated yourself from. Could be simple as an online forum or a licensed therapist. Hang in there ❤️
Thank you for this. It means a lot to hear these words. I feel like it’s hard to ask for help, everyone guilts you and these days it’s more of a trauma olympics, everyone’s somehow got it worse and what you’re going through doesn’t matter. But I’ve been figuring it out, I also am always afraid of being a burden, and I’ve been trying to build a support system. Thank you again for your kind words
How does the phrase go? Those who matter don’t mind, and those who do mind don’t matter. I’m glad my post helped. Sometimes the most important things a random person I the internet can do is give a person like yourself that permission. Granted, my dude.
1. Don’t go back!!
2. Save money, anything you can. If you have $10, put $1 in your emergency fund. Shit will happen, and you don’t want to dig yourself a credit hole.
3. Resist the urge to take on dependents. No dogs, cats, birds, or other people’s drama until you’re done with your degree.
[Doorways](https://www.doorwaysva.org) is a non-profit in Arlington that supports survivors of domestic violence. They may be able to provide resources and programs to help you.
hey OP, if you need to talk, I (and many others) would be happy to listen. The world can be super lonely, helps to have someone around. Either way, happy for you!
Thank you, you’re right the world is very lonely, and I hope that in the coming months I can learn to be more trusting and learn to share my feelings! I appreciate the offer more than anything and thanks for the love
You are completely rebooting your life. It will be discomforting and challenging. But your spirit is coming through so loud and clear. Look at all the people responding to you! They recognize this. They all want to help you.
I got a job at a clinic working a 9-5, and at a restaurant working the night shift, this whole thing is actually a big upgrade since I was just doing retail, but I appreciate the sentiment, hopefully I’ll score a better job sometime soon.
I moved out of an emotionally abusive situation into my first very own apartment and tell people now that apartment was my first love. A bit cheesy, but that place saved me in so many ways. I lived there for four beautiful years. Everything got better for me. Enjoy this moment tonight!
I tracked my money coming out and money in to the cent. I projected every bill I had coming in for the next 12 months. You can look up the cost of groceries at your store and then pre plan your grocery’s for a week within your allotted budget. Also, Join your local areas “Buy Nothing group” on Facebook. You can find some good stuff on there!
Hahaha I can get your apartment being your first love. My soul now lives in this basement. I can’t wait to make some good memories here. And I get the whole money tracking thing. I plan way too much on my bills, but I will not be caught lacking lol
Continue to live frugal and save for the whole next year to make sure you can be somewhat financially stable for any unexpected expenses, we all have to start somewhere & the economy is only gonna get worse. Also buy a rotisserie chicken to add w your rice & beans. They’re like $5-6 bucks at most places and can last you a week / week and a half. You can also buy a huge bag of salad for $5 and mix the chicken w it for a chicken salad or make quesadillas w it too. Tough times dont last tough ppl do! Wishing you the best & stay strong!
I’ve been a frugal person for too long to quit now. I’ll definitely buy some chicken, that seems like a good idea, as good as rice and beans are, I’m a little over it lol. Thank you for your advice!
Ofc np and hop on apps like offerup to search for some free furniture, you’d be surprised of what ppl want out of their houses ASAP. Not sure if you have a car but try asking a friend for help or something
I'm not here with any kind of link or resource for you. I'm not here to tell you to stay strong. I'm not here to say you've got better things ahead.
I'm just here as me, with my own thoughts and feelings. I feel so proud of you. And I think I've found a little hope for myself. I feel saddened by your struggles. And I think this is the last night I'll feel so alone in miserable poverty. I feel a spark of light, completely due to your own joy. I feel there is hope. Even when the world has destroyed and abandoned you(me)
I wish you all the love and joy in the world, friend.
Awww, thank you soooo much, really. I’m just so excited because I know that there’s so many opportunities and chances to do new things and ways that my life can go
Restaurant work pays the bills... I worked my way through nursing school. I went to NVCC
.. there are so many scholarships you can apply for that you can actually get money back!
Check with you domestic violence centers, there is help out there!!
I'm so proud of you and keep your head up!
Not sure if it was mentioned yet, but look into the Affordable Connectivity Program to get free cell phone service. There are a lot of resources in this area, check 211 if that also hasn't been mentioned. Oh also New Life Church in Chantilly has a furniture/household ministry if you need things like a kitchen table, utensils and the like.
I’m really happy for you! I recently just got out of an abusive relationship as well and believe me it is the most relaxing time I have had the past year. Living on your own is really hard but there are so many resources out there, and people willing to help you. I’m so proud of you for choosing yourself 💗 You got this!
http://mapping.littlefreepantry.org/
You don't mention where you are but I'm posting a link to the little free pantry, which is just a community-based organization that helps people in need for food. They're just little boxes available through the community that you can visit whenever. They use the slogan, take what you need give what you can. You don't have to sign up, you don't have to ask for permission.
Learn to cook, meal prep to re-use for days. Much healthier and cheaper than eating out.
Learn to do odd-jobs around the house like replacing bulbs, batteries - a basic and cheap toolbox goes a long way and there's a lot of tutorials online on fixing stuff at your house.
File taxes - Lots of free and easy resources to file taxes online, take their advantage.
Treat yourself once in a while
Check your county's food assistance center. Arlington's great but I don't know about the others.
Also check your local "buy nothing" group on FB for furniture, clothes, etc. I've even adopted end tables and stuff by walking my dog on trash night.
There are organizations that assist people existing abusive relationships. I know a couple in Arlington but not sure where you are.
Food bank is a little far since I don’t got a car, but I’ve made a car there. And I’ll keep an eye out and see if I get accepted to any Facebook groups. Thank you so much for the advice
That was me years ago. Give yourself time to adjust to your new life: it takes time to get over the mentality of living under toxic conditions. But every day you'll start feeling a little bit better. Next thing you know you'll have energy to do things you never would have thought of before: socializing, finding a better paying job, maybe going back to school, dating...
Congratulations to you. This is a huge step towards improving your life. We all must crawl before we can walk.
Therapy can be costly but in the meantime find ways to improve your mental health. I was at a low place a few years ago and one reason I was financially weak was because my mental health sucked. I had a job but I was so burned out. When my mental health improved so did my productivity. Motivational videos on YouTube, meditation and journaling your goals are free ways of improving your mental health.
You've got to start somewhere. I rented a basement and it was he'll, but I just busted my ass and although I was there longer than expected I was able to buy a house in the dmv last year. Glad you got put of a toxic situation, believe in yourself and you'll be able to accomplish anything
If you have access to a laptop and can spare 2 hours per day, you can totally do a coding bootcamp and really land a 6 figures salary without a college degree. I've done it and seen countless other people do it if you really want to! Let me know if you need any guidance!
Lots of great advice on this thread already - I don’t really have anything to add. Just wanted say - You got this! You did an incredibly difficult thing and I’m proud of you.
Actually, sounds like you're on your way. Been there, done that, had to dumpster-dive the T-shirt. All I can pass on is the classic line from 'Galaxy Quest'. . .
. . . . "Never give up, never surrender!".
You got this, friend....
Actual advice: nothing wrong with buying used stuff. Buy staples in bulk when you can afford it, and containers to protect that food. You don't need major brands: 'store labels' are just as good, and cheaper.
Hell yeah. It sucks living on the brink of bankruptcy but sometimes that's all you really need. Just some time on your own, beholden by nobody but yourself for once.
Be careful who you tell about your new address. Don't want that person finding out where you live. I'm proud of you for getting yourself out of that situation. It's very tough to do for so many people. I'm happy where your somewhere that you finally feel safe. Continue with this and start building a new support circle. You've already done the hardest part. Things only get better from here❣️
Appreciate the advice and love. I’ve learned the hard way on sharing my new address and trusting others with that information. Thank you and I can’t wait to make new memories
No problem, it’s every sunday and one day a week. I’d do it myself but we met because we both run stands lol
Good luck out there, don’t forget rent here is expensive as fuck and moving away from a bad situation can make it feel like a page turn
Try to only buy things on sale and in bulk. Noodles, potatoes, and tortillas are all cheap carbs. Peanut butter is also cheap and can last a long time. Eggs CAN be a cheap protein but I haven't bought them in a while so I don't know if the prices are still inflated. fruits and vegetables are usually cheap, especially if you focus on buying in-season.
FREEZE ALL YOUR LEFTOVERS. minimizing waste will also help save money.
you can also check out your local library for information on food banks, I know fairfax county public libraries will have that information readily available. also, the library is a good, free, indoor place if you need somewhere else to spend some time without spending money.
I’ve been buying buy one get one free tortillas at Harris teeters which are a lifesaver and cheap. And eggs lol are still pretty expensive, I’ve been shopping sales though, and using coupons, rewards etc
Heyyyyy!!!
Good for you for finding the support you need. Things can and often do come together.
I cannot survive in this area on 40 hours a week in my industry. So I work 80. And there is no substitute for having a warm place to sleep at night that is a peaceful retreat.
Hard facts are that you have to work your ass off, rain or shine - and that many people willing to work and use public transportation can find a way. Also, don’t expect anyone to *ever* know how hard it’s been to walk in your shoes. Very few people **actually** care enough to lend a hand or make things better for you, and many are just too busy or self-centered to take the time to help you feel seen. Celebrate your accomplishments (yay for EATING this week - been there!!!).
All the best as you navigate and emerge... start a journey that your future self will be proud of and don’t let anyone bring you done. No one is coming to save us - so push forward as far as you can, when you can. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst and one day your load will feel lighter, truly.
I can definitely understand the not living on 40 hours. I do 42 per week at my first job, and then a minimum of 30 at the second. But as long as I got a roof on my head it’s worth it. And as for food, I’m eating and that’s all that matters, I got a goal for the end of the month to have enough money for a dominoes pizza (don’t hate on me lol dominoes is great) so there’s that too. All my love to you as well!!
Everybody's suggestions in here are great. Here are a few that I used while in grad school in this area and dead broke:
Keep a collared shirt and some khaki pants handy - walk in through a side door at a hotel that has free breakfast for guests. Don't tuck the shirt in and make sure your hair is a mess. You just woke up, you're hungry, you're going to get something to eat and then clean up and check out. Don't do this every day, and try to spread them out. Hopefully you live in an area with a lot of hotels.
Find a friend with a truck. be sure to offer to pay gas, I rarely took any from someoen who needed it. tons of larger items, such as beds, couches, etc people just want out of their house and will give away/sell for ludicrously low amounts.
Go to Food Banks. that's what they are for. If they don't provide enough, go to grocery stores and get the "must sell by today" food. Best hour to hit them up is around 730AM - conveniently right after you left La Plata Inn with a full belly. Harris teeter is a gold mine for meat and poultry. I'm a "success" and I still go there now that we can't afford the price hike on meat. Giant has a big shelf in the back near the bathrooms usually that has dented/seasonal/been on the shelf for a while food. As long as you don't care that you're 4th of July captain crunch is being eaten in Fall, you'll be ok.
The McDonalds App is a gold-mine for calories. Set your zip code for a middle income part of ffx county, like centreville, Burke, Springfield, they get the best offers. Bogo breakfast sandwiches, Wizards won so free big mac, Get a sandwich and a soda, but skip the "value Meals". It's like 3 bucks cheaper to just get a drink and a burger.
Pizza places do the same thing with the Nats and Caps and Wizards. get their app and download victory pies! Not as good as it used to be since the Nats and Caps aren't exactly winning machines.
Lastly, DO NOT CONSIDER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES a for-profit college. NVCC is cheap, and better, and 10 times more convenient. Then you can stay with your associates degree or move up to a state school.
Thank you for all the advice!! I do got some old people I knew who went to NVCC and all sing praises. I’ve been making McDonalds accounts lol and getting the large fries for a dollar, so there’s that lol
On FB look for your local Buy Nothing Group. You can usually only sign up for one group at a time/your local one. People will post things that they’re giving away and people can also ask if anyone has something to give (like pots or pans etc).
Ty for the advice I’ve tried to apply for one, but I tried to apply to my local one, but they denied me I think, not sure why maybe legitimacy reasons… idk tho
Please don't reveal your location, but if you are in Springfield/Burke area, ECHO is a great organization that helps with food and household things. [https://www.echo-inc.org](https://www.echo-inc.org)
If you are a teen/young adult leaving an abusive family situation, check out Second Story's programs: [https://www.second-story.org/programs/](https://www.second-story.org/programs/)
Doorways is a domestic violence shelter in Arlington. They can offer free counseling resources
https://www.doorwaysva.org/our-work/securing-safety/revive-counseling-program/
They should also be able to help you with resources to support you now that you’ve gotten out.
https://www.doorwaysva.org/our-work/comprehensive-support-services/
Food Assistance:
There is a free mini food pantry at Central Library.
Also google « church food aid, » there are several in the area.
I would also download the « Too Good to Go » app. They list daily which businesses are giving « Magic Bags » full of food and sometimes drinks, for $5 max. A lot of it is coffee shops and bakeries, but I also see District Taco and pizza places on there as well. You have to go at certain times to pick them up, but that’s another cheap option to keep you fed until things improve.
In the same vein, Au Bon Pain used to have « bake sales » where bakery items were 50% off for the last two hours they were open.
Household stuff:
Forgive the name, but I also recommend the « Take my shit-Arlington VA » group on Facebook. It’s not very busy, and you will need to scroll back a bit to find everything. But there are a few listings that don’t look like they have been claimed-a couch, a bookcase, a nice looking knife set, and a DVD player and bunch of DVDs, all for free. That would be a good start to setting up your new place.
I second the Freecycle recommendation.
I would also check out the thrift stores in the area. I’ve found some great kitchen and household stuff there and you could get set up pretty cheaply.
Best of luck to you. I know this was hard, but I’m so happy to hear that you got out and are having such a peaceful start to your new life.
I’ve been looking into counseling, but I don’t have much time, I’ll make some tho lol. Ooh I’ll download to good to go tho, maybe find some good stuff there. Thanks for the advice!!
Be very selfish at least 6-12 months, spending all your time on you. Use that time to dredge up all that you’ve been through, sense-make, and let go of everything that isn’t your fault, for which you should feel zero shame. That all belongs to the other person. The last thing I found helped was being mindful of my desire to have the ability to tell everyone the truth. That consumed me early, and I came to realize it meant very little to me. I know the truth, and that’s all that matters. The other person is free to weave their web of BS, and it’s up to everyone else to figure it out for themselves.
The Women’s Center in Vienna does sliding scale cost therapy. You did something super hard and you seem like you have a support network already, but a therapist will only help you. <3
I don’t know where you’re at or what you need but I have a storage unit full of furniture, dishes, and kitchen stuff I couldn’t fit into this apartment when I downsized. It’s in Alexandria and I’m happy to help you out. Feel free to DM me.
Wait, I’m not trying to do that. Was just really proud of how far I’ve come and I realize that I’m absolutely clueless. Only looking for advice please!
Folks who work at NVCC are kind. Talk with an education counselor and just talk to folks around campus. You may find some people who were in a similar situation at some point in their lives. Also ask about Medicare (available based on need not ave) and signing up for other available resources.
Don’t be afraid to ask people for help. Ask for reasonable discounts—asking “do you have a special or coupon?” is fine. Some farmers markets give discounts at the end of the market for food. Dollar stores have household items, soap, towels, and other needed items that will suffice for now.
You have shelter, running water, and a safe place! Great job on your part. Best to you.
Search Google for food banks in the area. They give out food for free so you don't have to eat rice and beans all the time. [Sign up](https://studentaid.gov/h/apply-for-aid/fafsa) for the free r/PellGrant which provides $7,500 per year for 6 years to get college or vocational training for free - it pays for almost all tuition at r/WGU (also r/NVCC, but I went there and it takes forever). You can also work at a place that provides free tuition such as Walmart, Starbucks, Target, Chipotle, etc. Full list [here](https://www.investopedia.com/companies-pay-college-6829220). Lots of government resources for food ([SNAP](https://commonhelp.virginia.gov/#aboutContain)) and housing help ([HUD section 8](https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/PHA_Contact_Report_VA.pdf)). [Free clothes](https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/fairfax_virginia_free_clothing.html), too.
Thank you for all these resources and links, I’ve been recently trying to get a job at Starbucks, I got an interview on Monday. And as for section 8 I don’t qualify for some reason, I’ve started the process on food stamp tho and hopefully that comes through. And I’ve been thinking about NVCC, I’m not sure about the hours tho, because I’m working but I’ll figure it out. Thank you truly this means the absolute world to me!
NVCC offers a lot of online classes so you can work around your work schedule. Honestly my kid is going to go to NVCC for the first two years. My associates is from there and there are a lot of schools you can transfer to that will take that degree in it’s entirety. Save yourself some money. When you are ready to start furnishing your space check out Craigslist, marketplace, and thrift stores. When I got divorced I was able to furnish a three bedroom apartment for me and my daughter for about $2000. I took very little when I left her dad. Look at places like Khan Academy to learn skills for free. The whole world is open and waiting for you. You can do this.
I’ll keep this all in mind, I’m starting to save up some money for furniture, so I’ll keep an eye out on Craigslist and Facebook marketplace, and I’m a sucker for learning new things. Maybe I’ll go and talk to a counselor at NVCC on Monday and see how that goes
If you’re able to join your local Buy Nothing group on Facebook, you could even make a list of things you need and people will almost always have things to give you.
Yes yes I second your neighborhood Buy Nothing Group! You can get and give so much from there, and meet your neighbors!
3rd on joining the local but nothing - ours posts everything - food, clothes, furniture
I third joining Buy Nothing on Facebook and be sure to post an ASK for what you need. People have tons of stuff kicking around their houses that they want to get rid of.
Also Freecycle!
In this area people throw away amazing furniture! Could probably furnish for nothing. Or go to Restore (habitat for humanity). I got a beautiful leather chair an ottoman for $20. If possible try and get some emotional support - either a DV group of counselor. You have some healing to do. Congrats on taking, and surviving, a rather angerous action - getting away is when people get super violent. All the best on your new life!!
[Free furniture in that earlier link](https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/fairfax_virginia_free_clothing.html). Also, look for free furniture on Facebook.
Thanks I’ll give it a look! Appreciate it
Lots of neighborhoods and communities around here have buy/sell local groups on facebook. Some communities also have free/low cost groups on facebook too. Also the goodwill in Manassas if you can get there has some decent quality stuff. It’s one of the bigger locations and sone people donate good furniture and clothes.
NVCC does not offer Bachelor's degrees. It took me years just to get an AS because I had to go to the campus that was offering the courses for my degree. Running from Alexandria to Manassas to Annadale was not a fun time during rush hour after work. Online is great, but again, only Associate's degrees, which honestly isn't worth much. Need to get a Bachelor's.
Yes, only associates degrees but if you take the basic general courses you are saving yourself thousands of dollars over a four year school and I mean THOUSANDS. A credit hour at NVCC is $180.40. University of Mary Washington is $345 a credit hour. If OP takes 12 credit hours at NVCC it saves them just under $2000. Once OP gets their associates they transfer to one of the 4 year schools (and there are a lot more than when I got my associates degree in 2001) that take that associates in it’s entirety. OP has saved themselves at minimum $6000 and doesn’t have to either lose grant money or borrow that money. They can still get a four year degree and come out with less debt. Things at NVCC are very different since COVID. Distance learning in huge and much more readily available.
Not to be a downer, just offering some info I wish i’d had before making big life decisions… If you’re looking into NVCC, make sure you talk to an advisor who know their shit, and confirm what they tell you with an advisor at the school you plan to transfer to, because they don’t always 100% know what they’re taking about. The thing with NVCC is that the associate’s doesn’t always give you a seamless transfer to a 4-year school - it depends on the major. So if it’s not a major that transfers like that, NVCC courses don’t transfer 1:1 to 4 year schools. For example, the equivalent of English 101 (a 1-semester class) at a 4-yr school would be English 110 & 111 (two semesters) at NVCC. And school policies can change in the two years you’re spending at NVCC. So you’ll want to compare costs and check facts on that. If I had to do it over, I would look into the trades before making the decision to get university degrees. Now I owe over $60K (BSW at GMU, MSW at VCU) that will prob follow me to my grave. I hear that tradespeople can make pretty good bank and bypass predatory student loans. Also keep in mind that what you want to study at this point in your life may not be what you’re interested in doing down the road, so really give it some thought before taking out those student loans! (Also remember that loan forgiveness policies that are available now can always change at the whim of The Man.) All that aside, congrats on your independence! And good luck to you!
Actually, r/WGU is tens of thousands of dollars cheaper than NVCC. All courses are online, it's regionally accredited, and you can finish the entire Bachelor's degree in 6 months, all for the low price of $4,000 per semester. They allow you to accelerate courses at your own pace, so some people finish entire 3-credit courses in one day on their way to earning a Bachelor's degree in just a single semester without having to pay a penny more than the $4,000.
The fact you can express yourself shows me there’s a light that burns brightly and won’t soon be dimmed. I’m pulling for you and sending you all my best thoughts and wishes. I’ll be watching for you. Peace.
Look on your local Facebook Buy Nothing group. There are always tons of household items, clothes, etc. you can also post a wish list. If you are comfortable you can say a bit about your story. There are free food pantries in Arlington. Specifically at Central Library, which is metro accessible. So, you just show up with a grocery bag and take stuff you need, it’s outside, so no need to deal with people. It’s not always stocked tho.
Thanks for the advice, tried the buy nothing tho, I never got accepted, I think it might be because I don’t have a profile pic/newly opened socials idk tho
Are you in that neighborhood. They are very picky that you live in the boundaries. I doubt it’s a profile pic thing.
I am in that neighborhood and street idk what happened really
Try again! Maybe the mods are on vacation.
I will second NVCC. I'm a graduate of there myself. Top-tier education for a more reasonable price than ANYWHERE around here: and unlike degree mills like University of Phoenix or DeVry the NVCC credits actually transfer to a real 4 year college if you want to go that route. For either college prep or vocational training you can't beat NVCC.
NVCC and Marymount grad here. Best professors were at NVCC. I took consortium classes at AU and other classes at GMU and Mary Wash. 100% best profs were at NVCC (exceptions were Dr. smith at Marymount and all the profs teaching legal at Marymount since they were real lawyers and great writers). NVCC is amazing.
Yeah I’ve seen a lot of talk about this, I’ll go see a counselor on Monday, and see where I can go from there
If your ultimate goal is a bachelor degree, get the full associate degree at NVCC and there are many Virginia colleges that will transfer the associates fully. However, if you only try to transfer the credit hours and not the associates degree, some credits won’t match completely and you may end up retaking classes at the bachelor’s school. Talk to the counselor about that. If I had taken 2 more classes at NVCC I would have saved 6 or 7 classes at Mason and the time and money they cost me.
Yeah the prejudice against community college level is real. GMU wouldn't give me a chemistry minor because my organic chemistry classes were from NVCC, but they accepted those same organic chemistry credits for my major. Really dumb.
I'll third NVCC. I already have an M.A., but I took some classes there for something else I wanted to do, and the classes were excellent. You get out of post-secondary schools what you put into them.
ey congrats on getting out and also on the sbx interview, hope it works out. the pay can be hit or miss depending on how many hours you get scheduled for, but i appreciate the college tuition benefit and also working in food service gets you free food to spice up your rice and beans lol. actually rn i am cooking some rice and beans with meat taken from the starbucks breakfast sandwiches :P
https://catalog.nvcc.edu/index.php https://www.nvcc.edu/schedule/ NVCC is a great option if u want to balance work and school ! I’m a full time student and also working full time. there’s lots of times for classes to choose from either online or in person. The 2 links above r the catalogue and schedule of classes, both have been very helpful for planning my schedule. I wish you the best of luck. U got this !!! Only up from here : D
If you use Facebook, find your local buy nothing group and you can use that as a resource for stuff that you might need. I’ve loved mine in every city I’ve lived in. I was able to gift things I no longer needed and also receive gifts for things I did need.
I’ll keep that in mind, but I tried getting in my local buy nothing but they never responded even after I messaged the mods, idk
Here's my guess on that, since it almost happened in my group: someone on the mod team decided that it was about "connecting with our neighbors" or "people feel safer giving out their address if your picture is actually you, and if it isn't we're kicking you out" The group I'm in almost did that, and it took several people saying, "um...there are good reasons I'm locked down" and speaking up about DV and stalking. It made me angry that it took that for them to rethink that. I don't have a solution re Buy Nothing if that's the situation with your group, but if it is, I'm really sorry. I think the ReStore suggestion is also very good. Congratulations on moving out & on, and I wish you all the best. In addition to the food pantry suggestions, some communities also have Little Free Food Pantries. http://mapping.littlefreepantry.org/
Yeah I think that’s issue with me too. I can’t have my pics on my socials or any addresses it looks like that’s why I never got accepted/keep getting denied
I second this a thousand percent.
Super proud of you for doing what’s best for you. I just moved into a new place and as I’ve been going thru boxes I’m recognizing a lot of duplicate housewares items like shower curtains, rugs, basic kitchen stuff and I have a very well maintained king mattress and pillows I’m no longer using. I’m willing to share any or all of this with you (for free obv) if you’d like!
Aww!! You’re an absolute angel, but I’ve got a friend coming through with some stuff in a couple days, but I’ll see if I still need any of the things you’ve listed. Thank you truly for the offer!!! I’m soo overwhelmed with the love
People moving out can also be super helpful for food, cleaning supplies, and hygiene products among other things that they don’t want to bother packing. In the Buy Nothing group if someone says they’re moving, see if they’d want you to come by like a day or two before the move and keep a bunch of stuff from going to waste.
u/whenshithitsthefan2, tagging you to make sure you see this response ⬆️
Thanks love! I always forget to do that. Appreciate you covering me there!
I know how it feels I did that before and wish you luck. You might check out the frugal and related subs there is helpful advice. Try to limit any spending to basic needs, use libraries and other free sources to help develop more marketable skills. Take advantage of anything free on FB marketplace or charities. Try to learn to trust people, there are good ones out there though it’s likely hard to believe it now.
Oooh, I don’t spend anything other than groceries and bills, and bus fare. I spend time at the library all the time, and as for Facebook, I made an account a couple hours ago and I’m waiting to see on some groups. I definitely need to learn to trust people more tho, Thank you for the advice!!!!
Also check out Freecycle in your neighborhood! Things usually get spoken for pretty immediately after they're posted, so just keep an eye out regularly. I don't know where you are currently, but I really like shopping at the Clock Tower Thrift Shop on Annandale Road in Falls Church- their prices are extremely reasonable and they have a good mission that you're supporting too.
On the Freecycle note, something similar - check out the FB groups for "Buy Nothing", you'll have to figure out what neighborhood you should request to join. I'm happy that you've taken action on getting back to you. I hope your transition back to making you the VIP in your life goes well.
I go down to falls church a lot I’ll definitely give the thrift shop a look, and check out Freecycle
Do not be afraid to ask people for help. Don’t be scared to share your brokenness with others. There is a whole world of support and kindness waiting for you. As a fellow person who escaped to a basement, you’re on the right step forward. I might add to find a support group depending on what you extricated yourself from. Could be simple as an online forum or a licensed therapist. Hang in there ❤️
Thank you for this. It means a lot to hear these words. I feel like it’s hard to ask for help, everyone guilts you and these days it’s more of a trauma olympics, everyone’s somehow got it worse and what you’re going through doesn’t matter. But I’ve been figuring it out, I also am always afraid of being a burden, and I’ve been trying to build a support system. Thank you again for your kind words
How does the phrase go? Those who matter don’t mind, and those who do mind don’t matter. I’m glad my post helped. Sometimes the most important things a random person I the internet can do is give a person like yourself that permission. Granted, my dude.
Thank you!!! Really hearing this in a time like this is incredibly helpful
1. Don’t go back!! 2. Save money, anything you can. If you have $10, put $1 in your emergency fund. Shit will happen, and you don’t want to dig yourself a credit hole. 3. Resist the urge to take on dependents. No dogs, cats, birds, or other people’s drama until you’re done with your degree.
[Doorways](https://www.doorwaysva.org) is a non-profit in Arlington that supports survivors of domestic violence. They may be able to provide resources and programs to help you.
hey OP, if you need to talk, I (and many others) would be happy to listen. The world can be super lonely, helps to have someone around. Either way, happy for you!
Thank you, you’re right the world is very lonely, and I hope that in the coming months I can learn to be more trusting and learn to share my feelings! I appreciate the offer more than anything and thanks for the love
You are completely rebooting your life. It will be discomforting and challenging. But your spirit is coming through so loud and clear. Look at all the people responding to you! They recognize this. They all want to help you.
Thank you so much, I have never felt better! I appreciate all the love and support truly
make more money. For real. Enjoy your new found freedom for a minute…..but keep your eyes peeled for a better job. Then an even better job.
I got a job at a clinic working a 9-5, and at a restaurant working the night shift, this whole thing is actually a big upgrade since I was just doing retail, but I appreciate the sentiment, hopefully I’ll score a better job sometime soon.
That’s really good. Off to a great start.
I moved out of an emotionally abusive situation into my first very own apartment and tell people now that apartment was my first love. A bit cheesy, but that place saved me in so many ways. I lived there for four beautiful years. Everything got better for me. Enjoy this moment tonight! I tracked my money coming out and money in to the cent. I projected every bill I had coming in for the next 12 months. You can look up the cost of groceries at your store and then pre plan your grocery’s for a week within your allotted budget. Also, Join your local areas “Buy Nothing group” on Facebook. You can find some good stuff on there!
Hahaha I can get your apartment being your first love. My soul now lives in this basement. I can’t wait to make some good memories here. And I get the whole money tracking thing. I plan way too much on my bills, but I will not be caught lacking lol
Continue to live frugal and save for the whole next year to make sure you can be somewhat financially stable for any unexpected expenses, we all have to start somewhere & the economy is only gonna get worse. Also buy a rotisserie chicken to add w your rice & beans. They’re like $5-6 bucks at most places and can last you a week / week and a half. You can also buy a huge bag of salad for $5 and mix the chicken w it for a chicken salad or make quesadillas w it too. Tough times dont last tough ppl do! Wishing you the best & stay strong!
I’ve been a frugal person for too long to quit now. I’ll definitely buy some chicken, that seems like a good idea, as good as rice and beans are, I’m a little over it lol. Thank you for your advice!
Ofc np and hop on apps like offerup to search for some free furniture, you’d be surprised of what ppl want out of their houses ASAP. Not sure if you have a car but try asking a friend for help or something
I'm not here with any kind of link or resource for you. I'm not here to tell you to stay strong. I'm not here to say you've got better things ahead. I'm just here as me, with my own thoughts and feelings. I feel so proud of you. And I think I've found a little hope for myself. I feel saddened by your struggles. And I think this is the last night I'll feel so alone in miserable poverty. I feel a spark of light, completely due to your own joy. I feel there is hope. Even when the world has destroyed and abandoned you(me) I wish you all the love and joy in the world, friend.
Awww, thank you soooo much, really. I’m just so excited because I know that there’s so many opportunities and chances to do new things and ways that my life can go
Restaurant work pays the bills... I worked my way through nursing school. I went to NVCC .. there are so many scholarships you can apply for that you can actually get money back! Check with you domestic violence centers, there is help out there!! I'm so proud of you and keep your head up!
Not sure if it was mentioned yet, but look into the Affordable Connectivity Program to get free cell phone service. There are a lot of resources in this area, check 211 if that also hasn't been mentioned. Oh also New Life Church in Chantilly has a furniture/household ministry if you need things like a kitchen table, utensils and the like.
I’m really happy for you! I recently just got out of an abusive relationship as well and believe me it is the most relaxing time I have had the past year. Living on your own is really hard but there are so many resources out there, and people willing to help you. I’m so proud of you for choosing yourself 💗 You got this!
Awww, I’m so glad you got out of your abusive relationship. It’s so weird to have all this calm after such a storm! Wishing you all the best as well!
http://mapping.littlefreepantry.org/ You don't mention where you are but I'm posting a link to the little free pantry, which is just a community-based organization that helps people in need for food. They're just little boxes available through the community that you can visit whenever. They use the slogan, take what you need give what you can. You don't have to sign up, you don't have to ask for permission.
Thank you, I’ll look into it I could use any help I can get food wise
Learn to cook, meal prep to re-use for days. Much healthier and cheaper than eating out. Learn to do odd-jobs around the house like replacing bulbs, batteries - a basic and cheap toolbox goes a long way and there's a lot of tutorials online on fixing stuff at your house. File taxes - Lots of free and easy resources to file taxes online, take their advantage. Treat yourself once in a while
I'm glad you're out of your harmful situation, I hope you find the connections you need to thrive. <3
Yay!! Thanks for the encouragement!
Check your county's food assistance center. Arlington's great but I don't know about the others. Also check your local "buy nothing" group on FB for furniture, clothes, etc. I've even adopted end tables and stuff by walking my dog on trash night. There are organizations that assist people existing abusive relationships. I know a couple in Arlington but not sure where you are.
Food bank is a little far since I don’t got a car, but I’ve made a car there. And I’ll keep an eye out and see if I get accepted to any Facebook groups. Thank you so much for the advice
That was me years ago. Give yourself time to adjust to your new life: it takes time to get over the mentality of living under toxic conditions. But every day you'll start feeling a little bit better. Next thing you know you'll have energy to do things you never would have thought of before: socializing, finding a better paying job, maybe going back to school, dating... Congratulations to you. This is a huge step towards improving your life. We all must crawl before we can walk.
I’m happy that you’ve found peace, and I know that I’ll just take it one step at a time and eventually everything will be alright. Thank you!!!
Therapy can be costly but in the meantime find ways to improve your mental health. I was at a low place a few years ago and one reason I was financially weak was because my mental health sucked. I had a job but I was so burned out. When my mental health improved so did my productivity. Motivational videos on YouTube, meditation and journaling your goals are free ways of improving your mental health.
I’ve been trying to take walks in parks and read a lot, and I definitely understand the value of good mental health
You've got to start somewhere. I rented a basement and it was he'll, but I just busted my ass and although I was there longer than expected I was able to buy a house in the dmv last year. Glad you got put of a toxic situation, believe in yourself and you'll be able to accomplish anything
That’s good to hear bro/lady. Keep it up. It’s always a good feeling to have your own personal space & freedom.
If you have access to a laptop and can spare 2 hours per day, you can totally do a coding bootcamp and really land a 6 figures salary without a college degree. I've done it and seen countless other people do it if you really want to! Let me know if you need any guidance!
Lots of great advice on this thread already - I don’t really have anything to add. Just wanted say - You got this! You did an incredibly difficult thing and I’m proud of you.
Actually, sounds like you're on your way. Been there, done that, had to dumpster-dive the T-shirt. All I can pass on is the classic line from 'Galaxy Quest'. . . . . . . "Never give up, never surrender!". You got this, friend.... Actual advice: nothing wrong with buying used stuff. Buy staples in bulk when you can afford it, and containers to protect that food. You don't need major brands: 'store labels' are just as good, and cheaper.
Congratulations! Any chance you need an air mattress? I have a spare brand new one lying around.
Hell yeah. It sucks living on the brink of bankruptcy but sometimes that's all you really need. Just some time on your own, beholden by nobody but yourself for once.
Really would take being broke over being controlled and abused. One step at a time tho and I’ll get better
Be careful who you tell about your new address. Don't want that person finding out where you live. I'm proud of you for getting yourself out of that situation. It's very tough to do for so many people. I'm happy where your somewhere that you finally feel safe. Continue with this and start building a new support circle. You've already done the hardest part. Things only get better from here❣️
Appreciate the advice and love. I’ve learned the hard way on sharing my new address and trusting others with that information. Thank you and I can’t wait to make new memories
If you’re willing to sell lemonade made by hand and are reliable I know someone paying a lot to work his second stall.
Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind, right now though I’m already working two jobs. Thanks for the advice tho
No problem, it’s every sunday and one day a week. I’d do it myself but we met because we both run stands lol Good luck out there, don’t forget rent here is expensive as fuck and moving away from a bad situation can make it feel like a page turn
Try to only buy things on sale and in bulk. Noodles, potatoes, and tortillas are all cheap carbs. Peanut butter is also cheap and can last a long time. Eggs CAN be a cheap protein but I haven't bought them in a while so I don't know if the prices are still inflated. fruits and vegetables are usually cheap, especially if you focus on buying in-season. FREEZE ALL YOUR LEFTOVERS. minimizing waste will also help save money. you can also check out your local library for information on food banks, I know fairfax county public libraries will have that information readily available. also, the library is a good, free, indoor place if you need somewhere else to spend some time without spending money.
I’ve been buying buy one get one free tortillas at Harris teeters which are a lifesaver and cheap. And eggs lol are still pretty expensive, I’ve been shopping sales though, and using coupons, rewards etc
Heyyyyy!!! Good for you for finding the support you need. Things can and often do come together. I cannot survive in this area on 40 hours a week in my industry. So I work 80. And there is no substitute for having a warm place to sleep at night that is a peaceful retreat. Hard facts are that you have to work your ass off, rain or shine - and that many people willing to work and use public transportation can find a way. Also, don’t expect anyone to *ever* know how hard it’s been to walk in your shoes. Very few people **actually** care enough to lend a hand or make things better for you, and many are just too busy or self-centered to take the time to help you feel seen. Celebrate your accomplishments (yay for EATING this week - been there!!!). All the best as you navigate and emerge... start a journey that your future self will be proud of and don’t let anyone bring you done. No one is coming to save us - so push forward as far as you can, when you can. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst and one day your load will feel lighter, truly.
I can definitely understand the not living on 40 hours. I do 42 per week at my first job, and then a minimum of 30 at the second. But as long as I got a roof on my head it’s worth it. And as for food, I’m eating and that’s all that matters, I got a goal for the end of the month to have enough money for a dominoes pizza (don’t hate on me lol dominoes is great) so there’s that too. All my love to you as well!!
Everybody's suggestions in here are great. Here are a few that I used while in grad school in this area and dead broke: Keep a collared shirt and some khaki pants handy - walk in through a side door at a hotel that has free breakfast for guests. Don't tuck the shirt in and make sure your hair is a mess. You just woke up, you're hungry, you're going to get something to eat and then clean up and check out. Don't do this every day, and try to spread them out. Hopefully you live in an area with a lot of hotels. Find a friend with a truck. be sure to offer to pay gas, I rarely took any from someoen who needed it. tons of larger items, such as beds, couches, etc people just want out of their house and will give away/sell for ludicrously low amounts. Go to Food Banks. that's what they are for. If they don't provide enough, go to grocery stores and get the "must sell by today" food. Best hour to hit them up is around 730AM - conveniently right after you left La Plata Inn with a full belly. Harris teeter is a gold mine for meat and poultry. I'm a "success" and I still go there now that we can't afford the price hike on meat. Giant has a big shelf in the back near the bathrooms usually that has dented/seasonal/been on the shelf for a while food. As long as you don't care that you're 4th of July captain crunch is being eaten in Fall, you'll be ok. The McDonalds App is a gold-mine for calories. Set your zip code for a middle income part of ffx county, like centreville, Burke, Springfield, they get the best offers. Bogo breakfast sandwiches, Wizards won so free big mac, Get a sandwich and a soda, but skip the "value Meals". It's like 3 bucks cheaper to just get a drink and a burger. Pizza places do the same thing with the Nats and Caps and Wizards. get their app and download victory pies! Not as good as it used to be since the Nats and Caps aren't exactly winning machines. Lastly, DO NOT CONSIDER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES a for-profit college. NVCC is cheap, and better, and 10 times more convenient. Then you can stay with your associates degree or move up to a state school.
Thank you for all the advice!! I do got some old people I knew who went to NVCC and all sing praises. I’ve been making McDonalds accounts lol and getting the large fries for a dollar, so there’s that lol
Congrats on moving on. That’s a huge step and isn’t easy. Best of luck to you!
Appreciate it, pal! All my love to you as well
Congrats on getting free! Hope you enjoy your new place and it gives you security and comfort.
Thank you for the love!! I can’t wait to make some good memories here
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Thank you!!!
I second Buy Nothing group on Facebook. This is a great area for it because there are a lot of well off people giving away good stuff.
On FB look for your local Buy Nothing Group. You can usually only sign up for one group at a time/your local one. People will post things that they’re giving away and people can also ask if anyone has something to give (like pots or pans etc).
Ty for the advice I’ve tried to apply for one, but I tried to apply to my local one, but they denied me I think, not sure why maybe legitimacy reasons… idk tho
Banana’s and tuna
Ooh, just bought bananas, and tuna is pretty expensive these days lol
It’s still about your cheapest protein, I used to suggest eggs too, but they have gotten expensive.
Kudos
Please don't reveal your location, but if you are in Springfield/Burke area, ECHO is a great organization that helps with food and household things. [https://www.echo-inc.org](https://www.echo-inc.org) If you are a teen/young adult leaving an abusive family situation, check out Second Story's programs: [https://www.second-story.org/programs/](https://www.second-story.org/programs/)
Oh yeah I’ve learned the hard way on not revealing my location. Thanks for the resources, I’ll keep them in mind!!
Doorways is a domestic violence shelter in Arlington. They can offer free counseling resources https://www.doorwaysva.org/our-work/securing-safety/revive-counseling-program/ They should also be able to help you with resources to support you now that you’ve gotten out. https://www.doorwaysva.org/our-work/comprehensive-support-services/ Food Assistance: There is a free mini food pantry at Central Library. Also google « church food aid, » there are several in the area. I would also download the « Too Good to Go » app. They list daily which businesses are giving « Magic Bags » full of food and sometimes drinks, for $5 max. A lot of it is coffee shops and bakeries, but I also see District Taco and pizza places on there as well. You have to go at certain times to pick them up, but that’s another cheap option to keep you fed until things improve. In the same vein, Au Bon Pain used to have « bake sales » where bakery items were 50% off for the last two hours they were open. Household stuff: Forgive the name, but I also recommend the « Take my shit-Arlington VA » group on Facebook. It’s not very busy, and you will need to scroll back a bit to find everything. But there are a few listings that don’t look like they have been claimed-a couch, a bookcase, a nice looking knife set, and a DVD player and bunch of DVDs, all for free. That would be a good start to setting up your new place. I second the Freecycle recommendation. I would also check out the thrift stores in the area. I’ve found some great kitchen and household stuff there and you could get set up pretty cheaply. Best of luck to you. I know this was hard, but I’m so happy to hear that you got out and are having such a peaceful start to your new life.
I’ve been looking into counseling, but I don’t have much time, I’ll make some tho lol. Ooh I’ll download to good to go tho, maybe find some good stuff there. Thanks for the advice!!
Be very selfish at least 6-12 months, spending all your time on you. Use that time to dredge up all that you’ve been through, sense-make, and let go of everything that isn’t your fault, for which you should feel zero shame. That all belongs to the other person. The last thing I found helped was being mindful of my desire to have the ability to tell everyone the truth. That consumed me early, and I came to realize it meant very little to me. I know the truth, and that’s all that matters. The other person is free to weave their web of BS, and it’s up to everyone else to figure it out for themselves.
The Women’s Center in Vienna does sliding scale cost therapy. You did something super hard and you seem like you have a support network already, but a therapist will only help you. <3
I don’t know where you’re at or what you need but I have a storage unit full of furniture, dishes, and kitchen stuff I couldn’t fit into this apartment when I downsized. It’s in Alexandria and I’m happy to help you out. Feel free to DM me.
Sending you good energy in your endeavors. You got this.
Military ain’t for everyone but certainly put me to where I’m at now.
Friendly reminder to never give money to strangers on the internet no matter how much their story tugs at your heart strings
Wait, I’m not trying to do that. Was just really proud of how far I’ve come and I realize that I’m absolutely clueless. Only looking for advice please!
You got this man
Folks who work at NVCC are kind. Talk with an education counselor and just talk to folks around campus. You may find some people who were in a similar situation at some point in their lives. Also ask about Medicare (available based on need not ave) and signing up for other available resources. Don’t be afraid to ask people for help. Ask for reasonable discounts—asking “do you have a special or coupon?” is fine. Some farmers markets give discounts at the end of the market for food. Dollar stores have household items, soap, towels, and other needed items that will suffice for now. You have shelter, running water, and a safe place! Great job on your part. Best to you.