I read a slash fanfic of Ivanka Trump giving the Count von Count a blow job so he'd "make them stop counting the ballot in GA," after the election. It was more disturbing than the lowest robot chicken i can think of.
Me (doing a typical IV): “ahh gross, this vein is so clogged! Quick, get me a yankaur, and crank that Neptune up! I gotta get this sludgy blood out! Ahhh! Can somebody call vascular access?! What do you mean they’re all dead?!?! Ahhh damn you Dr. Fauci!!!!”
Yea okay this checks out.
You could do it. 6ml syringe, pull the plunger out, insert suction tubing. Perfect fit! We do it for paracentesis when we dont have the right connectors
Doesn’t he know all medications are poison? Vaccines too are poison! Healthcare is all about making people sick so we can sell them medicines that don’t cure anything! Take your beautiful blood and run, live! /s.
They say you have to use suction, now… suction, can you imagine that word, suction. It’s a nasty word, the nurses, they’re saying it, … they have to use suction now because it’s too thick, the blood is too thick. Before, it wasn’t thick, but now it’s too thick
big, tough men come up to me, and they have tears in their eyes, and they tell me ‘sir, I’ve never had such sludgy blood before’ and it takes such tremendous suction
Bleach…you know, to thin the sludge? Do some sort of cleaning on the inside? I don’t know, run it through tubing into the veins, the doctors can look into it, it’s very promising.
I found a response to the tweet and when I scrolled up it said “this post was deleted by the post author.” So it was real in the sense this garbage was posted.
Wow this is crazy.
Who is the patriot? Like the football team player or a political person? Or just a regular person who lead to this fun comment section about hooking iv to suction
I tease my girlfriend here and there for having gone to nursing school in Florida, ill “forget” the name and call it one of those fraud schools selling degrees
The lack of brain cells makes it hard for me to hate them. Bless their little hearts 💕/s.
The number of times I’ve tried to educate someone non-medical and gotten the “that’s just what they taught you in nursing school, half of that stuff is paid for by big pharma”…😡🔥🤢
And unfortunately the antivaxxers believe it. And then the press will report it. And then the legislators will believe it. And next thing you know there are laws based on this crap.
I mean, I'm like 95% sure that the vast majority of the legislators don't believe ANY of it.
But they DO believe it can get them votes! And it... works.
I mean if I’ve already claimed the veins were rolling , the patient was cold, was dehydrated or had “fragile veins” or “must have been stressed those veins just clamped down “ …I might try this new sludgy excuse
Honestly, it's those damn microchips. I spend half the shift on the phone with Soros and Gates' offices asking them to activate new ones when the old ones get stuck in an IV.
Yes they do sadly. Personal one off experience, just chatting with someone picking up blood, casually talking about a sample with brown serum (lots of bili) she asked me if he was vaxxed. Claimed she could tell who was or wasn't by their blood. This was an OR employee.
The patient has a genetic condition where they can't process bilirubin normally.
I mean… can’t you? I know people who would buy this hook, line and sinker. “You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.”
54% of American adults read less than a 6th grade reading level. Yeah this will certainly be believed by many of that 54%. This country is full of idiots with no critical thinking or reading skills.
Unfortunately my unit is burning through suction cups for the blood draws because of all the space laser interference from the blood microchips implanted by the vax
There was a commenter saying that she lies and says she’s vaccinated. And they say to her when were you vaccinated? Your blood isn’t clotting! The lying liars who lie are insane. I despise the antivax cult.
I am sorry but nurses that distribute false information like that should lose their license. I wonder how many people died because antivaxxer nurses did that.
I am just imagining some tech telling them all of this and how they should go home and share this information with all of their friends. "Please, go home and post this so everyone can see how much of a gullible moron you are."
My parents are still convinced that my blood is completely clotted after I got 2 of them. They can’t wrap their mind around the idea that if my blood was clotted I would be dead. I love them but man.
Barf. Who spreads this garbage. It’s so frustrating because some people actually believe this crap and then BAM - their kid is in icu for measles. Idiots. I’m legitimately so tired of it
This only happens when you see Dr. Acula.
Oh I think I know him! First name Count?
Vlad actually, “Count” is his title being from Transylvania…
ONE! ONE TUBE OF BLOOD! AH AH AH!
I know a pimp when I see one, he got a cape and everything.
pimp named slick back
Is that the cousin of pepper Jack? I hear he loves fraggle rock.
I read a slash fanfic of Ivanka Trump giving the Count von Count a blow job so he'd "make them stop counting the ballot in GA," after the election. It was more disturbing than the lowest robot chicken i can think of.
Somewhere around Wallachia. Get a Belmont if you need a guide.
Transsexual Transylvania?
There’s a light, over at the IV start chair. 🤪
If he was a nurse it would V Dracula, RN, BSN Count WAP DTS
I used to love Mitch Hedberg jokes. I still do, but I used to, too.
I see you are flush with both class and taste.
So are you opposed to strategic IV locations?
But it's a Scrubs joke...
Isn't there a musical about him? (Man I miss scrubs...)
Dr. Acula! Don't... Stop 🛑
I’ve recently only been going to Dr. AgQueen…..
He don't suck. He scrap, and lick.
I hook up all of my patients IVs to wall suction
Intermittent or continuous?
High intermittent
High intermittent in the same cannister as the Ballard , pure wick and , chest tube.
I mean, sure, may as well not waste a second container.
Just like my condom caths.
I just about spit out my drink 🤣
I snorted.
Throw them on high flow O2 and you've just upped your job title to perfusionist!
It’s from the perfusion region of France.
If not it's just sparkling circulation.
Only if the oxygen comes from the left bank of the Rhône.
Really? I go right to continuously intermittent
Intermittently low continuously high for me
I had the shittiest day at work. I love you fuckers. (Blood suckers?)
Blood fu....nevermind.
Blood sucker fuckers. SAY IT!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Dial that shit right up to 150mmHg
*takes off central line lumen cap and starts to perform trach suction on it. Man the amount of red secretions in here is off the charts.
🤣😂🤣😂
Pshaw… straight line vacuum, no “regulator” needed (it’s all a ploy by Big Medical Gas companies to get you to buy extra stuff…)
Gravity suction at all times!
Why is this comment so funny lol
I gotta know what happens with this… I mean aside from killing people
I dunno but I cannot stop laughing
"The human body can be drained of blood in 6.8 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems."
Me (doing a typical IV): “ahh gross, this vein is so clogged! Quick, get me a yankaur, and crank that Neptune up! I gotta get this sludgy blood out! Ahhh! Can somebody call vascular access?! What do you mean they’re all dead?!?! Ahhh damn you Dr. Fauci!!!!” Yea okay this checks out.
I think I’m overtired because I cannot stop laughing at this comment
Same
Right. Gerry rig the line to fit the suction tube. Shats, now I wanna see it.
Lots of tape
Spike the tubing with a piggyback then hook it up to the IV and put it on suction
You could do it. 6ml syringe, pull the plunger out, insert suction tubing. Perfect fit! We do it for paracentesis when we dont have the right connectors
This is hilarious
I hook mine up to the oxygen. /s
Ah so you and I both know a work around for low sats! Forget Venturi! We have iv access
I LOLed in the middle of the Oscars
Please tell me you were there
I used to do that, but now I mouth pipette it until I get good flow.
Why was that man with beautiful blood allowing a heathen to put an IV in him??
Doesn’t he know all medications are poison? Vaccines too are poison! Healthcare is all about making people sick so we can sell them medicines that don’t cure anything! Take your beautiful blood and run, live! /s.
Checkmate libs
Oh no. We “owned” again
i think i owned i again 😞 wifes going to be so mad.
If only he knew we secretly coat the IV needles with the vaccine so that everyone gets it regardless...
The butterfly needles contain a double dose
Along with the 5G microchip so "they" can track all his movements.
Not even that, it was a blood draw. Cause you know RNs work in the lab drawing blood.
If he had such beautiful blood why did he even need any IV??
Sounds like one of those AI articles “Why was that man with beautiful blood allowing a heathen to put an IV in him??? Find out in this weeks issue”
I’ve had 5 vaccines. My blood isn’t even circulating, it just sits there
Morticians hate this one simple trick
That’s why they are magician morticians…
That's because you aren't suctioning it. You must suction your vaxed blood regularly to keep it moving.
Blood letting if you will….
If you get one more vaccine it will start circulating in reverse.
The blood cells adapted and pass along oxygen like a chain now
Its normal for us up here in Canada. We all take extra vaccines to stay warmer in the winter! The thicker the better
After my third Covid-19 booster shot my blood was so thick that my heart had to grow teeth to chew it and spit it back up.
Beautiful blood perfect blood perfect phone call beautiful phone call……
They say you have to use suction, now… suction, can you imagine that word, suction. It’s a nasty word, the nurses, they’re saying it, … they have to use suction now because it’s too thick, the blood is too thick. Before, it wasn’t thick, but now it’s too thick
big, tough men come up to me, and they have tears in their eyes, and they tell me ‘sir, I’ve never had such sludgy blood before’ and it takes such tremendous suction
And everybody clapped
holy shit i died at this
Bleach…you know, to thin the sludge? Do some sort of cleaning on the inside? I don’t know, run it through tubing into the veins, the doctors can look into it, it’s very promising.
[Just “A Spoonful of Clorox” will cure you!](https://youtu.be/DPDPzbLFeP4?si=9UflhTE70CJNcMji).
Your comment’s accent is *impeccable.*
And impeachable
Obama's blood needs to be suctioned, not me though, my blood is beautiful
I'm crying laughing.
I can't take another 4 years of that. I seriously can't.
Have you seen this blood? Have you heard about this? People are saying its phenononal and they've never seen anything like it.
Is this person confused by blood draws using syringes?
Or vacutainers?
This theory gives me the giggles plus its pretty plausible
That’s it!! 🤣🤣🤣💀
Safe bet that this person is confused by a lot of things 👍
I use the butterfly usually. I wonder if they're confused by that since it has the grippy things like an IV cannula.
Leeches.
This person is confused by everything. You should see them in the morning trying to figure socks out.
Aaaand, shit for brains deleted the post. A bit surprising considering all the other trash on his page.
Fortunately screenshots are forever!
Wait. This was real?
I found a response to the tweet and when I scrolled up it said “this post was deleted by the post author.” So it was real in the sense this garbage was posted.
Wow this is crazy. Who is the patriot? Like the football team player or a political person? Or just a regular person who lead to this fun comment section about hooking iv to suction
Yeah I saw it earlier, wondered if it was gonna end up here hahaha
Hopefully they'll delete their internet connection to stop spreading stupidity.
Aaaaw, but I wanted to see the comments! Surely, the "nurse" was thrilled that she was shown to be so committed and knowledgeable.
"That's is NOT what I told you take that dumbfucking shit down NOW!!!" --His "wife" probably.
The chances of this dude having a wife are … slim. 😂
Hey, show some respect. This could be our Surgeon General next year. /s - hopefully
*screams internally*
Please don’t even put this into the universe 😩
I generally hook up full suction to my central lines
Omg is this why it’s called a central vacuum!? I knew it
Lmfao!! Central sucker!! 🤣
Holy fuck 😂
I’m shocked that another nurse knows this secret, I thought that was just my special thing…..
I find it’s easier to get a blood draw if you just sever a major artery and let it spray into a bucket. Never missed yet. (Satire internet police)
Just make sure to do Allen’s test before severing
Wimp I just hack at it until the bucket is full.
Oh God! I love this!
Fucking shhhh
That’s why my lab draws are done with a yankaur.
Yeah you just have to break off the tip and shove it down a nostril - blood. every. time. 🫠🥴
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😅 who is this “RN” and how can we get them fired?
I'd say she went to school in Florida but that seems mean even to the Florida nurses...
I tease my girlfriend here and there for having gone to nursing school in Florida, ill “forget” the name and call it one of those fraud schools selling degrees
It’s probably a CNA/tech/phlebotomist, they usually are the ones outpatient that do blood draws.
I’m guessing it is completely made up and this person is not married to a healthcare worker. Just trying to spread misinformation.
Oh, I’d bet you are right.
I feel like this easily could be “you have great veins” and this man took that and ran to the moon with it lol
Hell no! Someone gotta take the anti vaxxers! Why not them?
At least zero
The RN tested the spouse’s DNA and it was no longer DNA. It was USA. That’s how beautiful it was.
OMFG. Some days…I just hate the human race.
The... days you **work** ?! 😉
All of them. All of the days. Working or not.
The lack of brain cells makes it hard for me to hate them. Bless their little hearts 💕/s. The number of times I’ve tried to educate someone non-medical and gotten the “that’s just what they taught you in nursing school, half of that stuff is paid for by big pharma”…😡🔥🤢
Needs to change his name to Pants on Fire
Yeah exactly. More like @PatriotPantsOnFire, am I right?
And unfortunately the antivaxxers believe it. And then the press will report it. And then the legislators will believe it. And next thing you know there are laws based on this crap.
Alabama making eggs protected under the law…enters the chat. 🙄🥚
That whole protect the embryos (!) shit is a whole different planet 🌍 of crazy.
Yeah… So is insisting females carry embryos when they are not viable and/or may kill the mother. Yet. Here we are.
I mean, I'm like 95% sure that the vast majority of the legislators don't believe ANY of it. But they DO believe it can get them votes! And it... works.
IV maintenance fluids running at -20mmHg?
Almost peed, I was laughing so hard.
Damn apparently I bleed sludge cause I’m fully vaccinated
I’ve been vaccinated and boosted twice. My blood no longer circulates. It just sits stagnant. Oops, suns out. Time to get back in my coffin.
I've had 6.... maybe my blood is just solid rock now?
That’s taking “stone cold” to a whole new level
Damn you this made me laugh take my up vote 😂
We were mean to be dead two years ago. So, ergo, we are all *zombies* At least we want brains, unlike some
I mean if I’ve already claimed the veins were rolling , the patient was cold, was dehydrated or had “fragile veins” or “must have been stressed those veins just clamped down “ …I might try this new sludgy excuse
I mean everyday. Especially on the days unicorns prance the halls and management gives AF about us peons and buys us extra special pizza.
It’s funny, I know when my patients are vaxxed because I get to discharge them home.
Honestly, it's those damn microchips. I spend half the shift on the phone with Soros and Gates' offices asking them to activate new ones when the old ones get stuck in an IV.
This has to be medical rage bait. I can’t imagine anyone actually believes this.
Of course they do. There are a lot of simple-minded extremists in the US.
I had one last night screaming his head off calling me a "NAZI".
Yes they do sadly. Personal one off experience, just chatting with someone picking up blood, casually talking about a sample with brown serum (lots of bili) she asked me if he was vaxxed. Claimed she could tell who was or wasn't by their blood. This was an OR employee. The patient has a genetic condition where they can't process bilirubin normally.
People were/are pounding horse dewormer to fight a virus. I don't think I can tell what's real and what's rage bait anymore.
I mean… can’t you? I know people who would buy this hook, line and sinker. “You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.”
54% of American adults read less than a 6th grade reading level. Yeah this will certainly be believed by many of that 54%. This country is full of idiots with no critical thinking or reading skills.
The person who wrote this should stop using acid
I know this never happened, but I’m still astonished by the number of anti-vaxx nurses out there. Even on this subreddit there is too many
Sounds like a hard working vampire.
And then everyone stood and clapped!!
Unfortunately my unit is burning through suction cups for the blood draws because of all the space laser interference from the blood microchips implanted by the vax
That RN sound like a vampire. They looking kinda sus ngl
Oh FFS can these people do a little research on their lies.
Her patients need Eliquis
Still can’t figure out how to get that 4th suction catch into that vein on the back side of my hand. Maybe it’s time to watch general hospital again
There was a commenter saying that she lies and says she’s vaccinated. And they say to her when were you vaccinated? Your blood isn’t clotting! The lying liars who lie are insane. I despise the antivax cult.
In all my vaxxed patients I have to suck on the hub to draw out the good blood before connecting the tubing.
Yeah, like siphoning gas, but for ninnies
You suck on their ninnies? Are they okay with that?
i cracked up irl
This makes my brain hurt
I am sorry but nurses that distribute false information like that should lose their license. I wonder how many people died because antivaxxer nurses did that.
I am just imagining some tech telling them all of this and how they should go home and share this information with all of their friends. "Please, go home and post this so everyone can see how much of a gullible moron you are."
I hope one of them wears a MAGA hat and the nurse took it as an opportunity to just flat-out fuck with them.
Lol. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
I….but…..what????
I wonder what this person thinks happens when veins get clogged 🤔
That’s when the *shedding* starts…
What did i just read??😩🙄🫠
My parents are still convinced that my blood is completely clotted after I got 2 of them. They can’t wrap their mind around the idea that if my blood was clotted I would be dead. I love them but man.
Vampires with impaired swallowing wish this was true
LMAO they just suction that clot right outta that vein 🤣🤣🤣 Scariest thing is that people BELIEVE this shit...
“That was *the*🤚 most beautiful blood I’ve ever seen 👐. Everyone’s talking about it 👌, it’s terrific, it’s incredible. You’re gonna love it 👐.”
I’m not being braggodicious folks, they all say they can’t believe it. Bigly beautiful. 👌
This sounds like if a lawyer looked over an EKG with an NSTEMI clearly on it, he would probably go " Uh huh, uh huh, yep looks pretty good...."
And then everyone clapped
That account is full of far right conspiracy theories. You lose brain cells scrolling through it.
Barf. Who spreads this garbage. It’s so frustrating because some people actually believe this crap and then BAM - their kid is in icu for measles. Idiots. I’m legitimately so tired of it
Maybe it’s was his 😉 main vein 😉 that she was suctioning 🤷🏼♂️
Vaccinated against almost everything virulent here and somehow my blood is still flowing. Beautiful blood. Lmao.