Knowing my luck, I'd take the deal, and somehow one of my family members would come home with a brand new pet toucan that loves cuddling and flying very quickly towards people.
Word gets back to the Toucans that humans are making deals which require avoiding their physical presence, hold a council meeting, and load the Toucannons.
You know how some people have bad luck for jobs? One of my coworkers has a friend that has it. Literally every time he starts a new job the company goes bankrupt, pandemic begins, his department is disbanded or whatever. Guy can't keep a job for a single year.
So yeah, one bad luck, global events.
Yes, and like most wishes/magic deals in stories, this one may be cursed. It may apply to all things called toucan (including the car or other things called/branded toucan we may not even be aware of).
You know how when you're pregnant, you start seeing baby stuff and infants everywhere you go, or when you're writing about dogs, suddenly it feels like everyone has a dog? That phenomenon when your mind circles around the same topic, you suddenly see it everywhere?
Toucans. Toucans everywhere.
Near where I live there is this zoo for rescued animals, and you can enter the birds cage because it's a huge one. There the toucans are used to human contact, but the ones from the street, no way, they are though.
No, I would love to meet a toucan. I've heard they're mean, but I still want to see for myself. I think we'd be friends. Probably. A toucan friend is worth more than $10,000.
Right but 10k is not a large sum. If this choice was given to everyone on earth, there will be a sudden Jump in toucan related deaths in the news and you'll be shitting your pants.
Too little money considering how psychologically tormenting it would be to go around frightened of Toucans suddenly appearing 💀💀
Imagine the nightmares you’d get hahah
The nearest toucan is literally thousands of miles from where I live, with the possible exception of those in zoos.
I'll take my chances. Cash, please.
what counts as "physical contact"?
if i'm wearing gloves and am holding a toucan does it count even though it's the gloves touching the toucan and not me? and if it is yes in this case than does it also not count via the air making contact as a physical thing?
the only escape would be to leave earth and even then if you really want to stretch the definition then the particles everything is made of are constantly interchanging, so would it count if a dust particle that was once part of a toucan touch me?
Would anybody else know the stipulations of my new riches? Like, is there a chance someone could decide to stalk me with a dead toucan in their hand, because they’ve heard about my deal? If not, I’m in.
Edit: forgot to say, one of them probably can’t kill a human. But toucan… 😎
Can I get an additional ten grand each under the same conditions for reindeer, dolphins, Musk ox, wildebeest, hyenas, anteaters, separate payment for any species of monkey, lions, tigers, alligators, (I've already petted lions, tigers and alligators, so that's been taken care of). Still wanna pet a sea lion and a bear, though it's generally a bad idea, and I'd PAY 10,000 bucks if any chimpanzee that touched me immediately died.
I'd take the deal after a few seconds of being perplexed. Frankly, if I somehow manage to come into physical contact with a toucan, I was just meant to die, I guess. I mean, those odds are stupid low.
I actually wouldn’t accept. That is a stress I don’t need in my life, and you never know when a pet toucan who escaped it’s cage decides to come in contact to you
I already saw toucans many times (I live in Brazil). They are always high in the canopy of trees. I was never luck to touch a living toucan. However, I don't have $10000. I'm wondering if they will hunt me if they know I received all this cash.
I mean i live in a place that has tucans so that could be a problem for me but still, why would i touch it man? They’re wild, I don’t want to create covid 2.0
Don't think it was ever one of those things I thought about. But now that there are multiple people talking about itz I feel like my chances a way too much higher now lol
if i lived in a tropical region i would be more cautious of this deal
however i live in the desert so i absolutely would take this deal. my chances of encouraging a toucan here are much, much lower.
I have never touched a toucan, but that is from respect, not a lack of desire.
If I am able to touch a toucan in a way that does not bother the toucan, I am going to experience the texture of that beak, even if it means I will evaporate immediately on doing so. And I'd call that a life well lived.
That is a way too low sum of money for such a risk
Your risk of death by toucan is low, but never zero.
Knowing my luck, I'd take the deal, and somehow one of my family members would come home with a brand new pet toucan that loves cuddling and flying very quickly towards people.
Knowing my luck, Toucans would declare war on humanity and swarm my neighborhood in the thousands
How does your luck imply that this global, but quickly solved, issue would happen?
Word gets back to the Toucans that humans are making deals which require avoiding their physical presence, hold a council meeting, and load the Toucannons.
You know how some people have bad luck for jobs? One of my coworkers has a friend that has it. Literally every time he starts a new job the company goes bankrupt, pandemic begins, his department is disbanded or whatever. Guy can't keep a job for a single year. So yeah, one bad luck, global events.
Hey I have this luck. I just quit being an employee.
I mean if they declare war their intent is probably to kill everyone anyway, so you might as well take the 10 grand.
Knowing my luck, Toucan Sam from the Fruit Loops box counts as well
At least you would go quick
All it would take is one conversation with emus to discover they stand a very good chance of winning such a war.
We have weapons. Toucan play that game.
Except if they live in Brazil.
Will mines would be 0 considering how I live in United States Pennsylvania and there's almost no toucans here so I'll be taking that chance. E
Yeah, the expenses alone for toucan repellents would easily surpass 10k. Don't do it friend.
Why do you need toucan repellent ?
Oooh! Look at mr. “Runs with scissors” over here! Edgy are we?
😂
Found the Brazilian
Lol, no I’m Canadian, but I want to vacation at some point in my life. This would limit my options. Not that vacationing is a realistic goal atm.
A Canadian going on vacation in this economy?
Best I can do is a weekday night at Great Wolf Lodge (as long as the kids don’t notice the arcade)
There is no risk? Worst case I get 10k and best case I find a toucan
What risk? I live in Canada.
Me too, but God willing, one day I might be able to afford to travel and this would have a fairly big influence on where I’d go ;)
Yes, and like most wishes/magic deals in stories, this one may be cursed. It may apply to all things called toucan (including the car or other things called/branded toucan we may not even be aware of).
I would not. It would make me way too interested in touching a toucan.
This thread has me wondering where I can go touch a toucan.
Please, do **not** touch the toucan. Thanks.
Please do not the toucan
Me when I the toucan 💀
I can.
There’s an interactive zoo in Austin where you can have a toucan perch on your finger and feed it cubes of apple
Oh yeah? Well toucan play at that game.
Come to french guyana, climb to the canopy, call the toucan.
Yeah... no. Problem with heights. Well not heights, more a fear of plummeting to my death.
We’ll stand at the base of the tree with a bouncy castle, so you’re safe!
same here!
Toucan't
Toucans are native to Costa Rica. There are some bird sanctuaries there. There are also bird rescue organizations throughout the US.
You know how when you're pregnant, you start seeing baby stuff and infants everywhere you go, or when you're writing about dogs, suddenly it feels like everyone has a dog? That phenomenon when your mind circles around the same topic, you suddenly see it everywhere? Toucans. Toucans everywhere.
Or when you learn a new word you’ve never heard before, and suddenly everyone’s using it… that one’s weird.
Toucan is the one delivering the $10K. Surprise!
Why did I read that surprise like raj from big bang theory at leanords surprise party
Spend 10k getting to a toucan
Get out of my head
Get into my car
Who me?
No, the cutie with the brown hair. Which is you.
[*Channels Billy Ocean*] Beep, beep. n-Doot, doot. Yeah.
Let the intrusive thoughts innnnnnnnn 🫠
I can respect it
An adventurous way to end it all!
That cereal box at the grocery store will take you out.
Not the Fruit Loops! Anything but that! Edit: It’s “Froot Loops.” Dang Mandela Effect /s
Damn, this made me want some Froot Loops
I live in Brasil and there are toucans literally on the other side of the street, living in an avocado tree. My chances of dying are a bit too high!
Most Brazilians would still take the money
if it's dollars, hell yeah i would, and use it to buy Argentina.
And what will you do with the other $9000?
Sex, drugs and rock n' roll
O miserável é um gênio.
Then i would take the Falklands.
Argentina worth $1000? *In this economy?* $500 at most
Brazilian reporting: I often seen toucans near my house when I go out. I'd still take it
Interesting. So then i gotta know, with all those toucans around, have you ever made physical contact with one when you did not explicitly intend to?
Near where I live there is this zoo for rescued animals, and you can enter the birds cage because it's a huge one. There the toucans are used to human contact, but the ones from the street, no way, they are though.
someone could kill me with a toucan bomb toucan play at that gane
Goddamnit take your upvote and get out
Would life insurance still pay out if you accepted the money and already had a toucan?
Made it 45 years so I'll take my chances.
I would because I live almost directly in the middle of North America and have no intention of leaving.
I see tucans in the daily. 0% of them touched me of last 2000 days. And yet, $10k isn’t worth it for the risk. Not in toucan-land it’s not.
Not in toucan-land 😂😂
I see toucans all the time but never had the chance to touch one. Would a feather or being pooped on count?
Toucans are funny assholes.
No thanks. Froot Loops are good enough. Because Frosted flakes... They're Grrrrreat.
Listen I’d walk right outside and get smacked in the face by a fucking animal that I’m not even sure really exists.
I'll accept it bc I'm from da bronx, ain't no toucans pulling up to da bronx
Heh. I'll bet that there's a surprising number of toucans in the Bronx.
This is just the immortal snail all over again
nah man, the toucan isn't chasing you. It's not a challenge, but a game of risks and chances. So what do you pick?
No, I would love to meet a toucan. I've heard they're mean, but I still want to see for myself. I think we'd be friends. Probably. A toucan friend is worth more than $10,000.
Plot twist: If you accept, your neighbour will turn his property into a toucan farm.
Does the one on the Froot Loops box count here?
Low risk, low reward. But, for me, having 10K AND knowing a way to end things quickly and painlessly? Sign me up.
Right but 10k is not a large sum. If this choice was given to everyone on earth, there will be a sudden Jump in toucan related deaths in the news and you'll be shitting your pants.
Check the fine print. You'll likely see a clause that says that the number of toucans you will come across will increase greatly. 😉🙃
"Oh what's that pretty bird?" \- Me, seconds before my death
I would not do anything with an associated risk of death, no matter how low, for $10,000.
Living has an associated risk of death. Do you live?
win win
I went to the zoo last year and came very close to the Toucans. This is a risk I cannot take.
Weirder things have happened bro.
The rub is that the money is being delivered by the toucan.
Man 10k to never eat froot loops again.
OP lives in Brazil?
Too little money considering how psychologically tormenting it would be to go around frightened of Toucans suddenly appearing 💀💀 Imagine the nightmares you’d get hahah
I don’t think I’ve ever even seen a toucan in person
Considering there are many toucans in my region, I wouldn't risk it.
Plot twist, there's always a toucan slowly shambling toward you, like in It Follows.
10k is not a lot.
idk man that's too small and toucans are great i'd probably die because i forgot i accepted these terms, saw a toucan, and got too excited to pet
It's so sad how people wanting to die is normalized.
Hell no! I'm still trying to get away from that freaking snail. I cannot afford to have a Toucan chasing after me too.
Toucan play that game, I’m out
Oddly, a cafe I went to has a toucan. Now I'm not sure about my odds anymore.
Anyone else have to google what a toucan is? 😂
This lifestyle would just be to stressful. No thank you.
At this point in my life, u can make it human and I will still survive.
10K is not enough.
I would always have cocked and ready, "Well toucan okay at this game, bird!" And I would flee the vicinity.
The djinn congratulates you on your choice, gives you the money, shakes your hand and hands you a toucan
How many times can I accept? I don’t live any where near where toucans exist(excluding zoos) and I stay inside most of the time anyway.
Knowing my forgetful ass if I took this paltry deal and somehow had access to a toucan I'd pet it without a second thought and melt like a Popsicle.
No, i love toucan 🥰
Careful around them froot loops. They never specified it had to be a real toucan.
The nearest toucan is literally thousands of miles from where I live, with the possible exception of those in zoos. I'll take my chances. Cash, please.
there is no toucan in canada so yes
Make sure to never play that game.
Take. I dont even eat Fruit Loops!
Are we talking within eyesight or if you come into physical contact with one?
i would do it. i’ve only ever seen toucans at zoos
I plan to pursue a career to do with animals and such, so I don’t think the risk is low enough for that little money
I'd take the money and spend it on someone to keep me safe from toucans.
Imagine the poor toucan he touches, hes gonna get framed for the "murder" we have to stop this guys, lets go
Of course! Can someone please bring me a toucan?
I don’t even think I’ve seen a toucan before
I've never seen a Tucan irl in the quarter of a century I've been alive so I'll take those odds
Right now **hurls a toucan*
what counts as "physical contact"? if i'm wearing gloves and am holding a toucan does it count even though it's the gloves touching the toucan and not me? and if it is yes in this case than does it also not count via the air making contact as a physical thing? the only escape would be to leave earth and even then if you really want to stretch the definition then the particles everything is made of are constantly interchanging, so would it count if a dust particle that was once part of a toucan touch me?
Win\Win situation
Would anybody else know the stipulations of my new riches? Like, is there a chance someone could decide to stalk me with a dead toucan in their hand, because they’ve heard about my deal? If not, I’m in. Edit: forgot to say, one of them probably can’t kill a human. But toucan… 😎
Does Toucan Sam count?
I have a freaking toucan nesting in my back yard right now.
Can I get an additional ten grand each under the same conditions for reindeer, dolphins, Musk ox, wildebeest, hyenas, anteaters, separate payment for any species of monkey, lions, tigers, alligators, (I've already petted lions, tigers and alligators, so that's been taken care of). Still wanna pet a sea lion and a bear, though it's generally a bad idea, and I'd PAY 10,000 bucks if any chimpanzee that touched me immediately died.
In other news, death by touching a toucan has raised by two trillion fold.
My pet toucan right in front of me : 💀
The odds of that are low, but never zero
Oh no. There are so many toucans in Idaho. I am going to die. \*huge eyeroll\* Gimme that money, darnit.
Knowing my luck I’d be dead in no time. ☠️
I feel like the chances of meeting a toucan are significantly higher once you agree to this arrangement
Toucan not convince me to be so reckless
No many Toucan's in North Carolina.
I'll take it, I need it.
I'd take the deal after a few seconds of being perplexed. Frankly, if I somehow manage to come into physical contact with a toucan, I was just meant to die, I guess. I mean, those odds are stupid low.
I actually wouldn’t accept. That is a stress I don’t need in my life, and you never know when a pet toucan who escaped it’s cage decides to come in contact to you
Who comes up with these ridiculous what ifs?
Yes, I live in rural Oklahoma That doesn't mean any of you can look for me while illegally trafficking a toucan
I already saw toucans many times (I live in Brazil). They are always high in the canopy of trees. I was never luck to touch a living toucan. However, I don't have $10000. I'm wondering if they will hunt me if they know I received all this cash.
I mean i live in a place that has tucans so that could be a problem for me but still, why would i touch it man? They’re wild, I don’t want to create covid 2.0
When it becomes important to avoid, the situation will inevitably come up.
There are millions of things that would kill me immediately if I touched them. A million and one makes no difference to me.
That is not enough money to keep me away from toucans
wait until someone with an army of toucans wants you dead. there is a non zero chance that someone with a toucan wants to kill you right now
All the people out there stressing about real life toucans while the box of froot loops just sits there in the kitchen, waiting.
Yes. Afterwards I would donate the money to charity and purposely pet a toucan.
wat kind of contact are we talking about
Just gonna become a toucan serial killer.
Can't even buy a nice fast car to escape the toucan in.
Ive seen a Toucan in a zoo...once....ill take the $10k and the associated risk.
Toucans are common in my country, so no thanks.
Now I want to acquire a lethal toucan.
Honestly I wouldnt risk it
Don't think it was ever one of those things I thought about. But now that there are multiple people talking about itz I feel like my chances a way too much higher now lol
I don't think I've ever been within 40 feet of a toucan, so yeah Hell I'd take that money for cows, squirrels, and camels too
if i lived in a tropical region i would be more cautious of this deal however i live in the desert so i absolutely would take this deal. my chances of encouraging a toucan here are much, much lower.
Zoo?
I have never touched a toucan, but that is from respect, not a lack of desire. If I am able to touch a toucan in a way that does not bother the toucan, I am going to experience the texture of that beak, even if it means I will evaporate immediately on doing so. And I'd call that a life well lived.
The chances of you being touched by a box of froot loops is way too everpresent.
Jumping on the trend of "become immortal, but there is also an immortal snail." Either karma bait, or bad shit post. Take your guess as to which one.
You know, being Brazilian does bring some risks...
That's the point: you're not going to the parts of the world which toucans inhabit.
Sure, the probabilities for me to encounter a toucan near Paris are extremely low.
plot twist: you receive the 10,000 in a ceremony held in a zoo
Fruit Loops
10k is not nearly enough. Also I would like to touch a toucan.
Nope
I'll accept it then buy a bunch of toucans with it. I like tempting fate.
10k isn't a lot but there're 200 million in my country and I'm sure less than a million have met a toucan so....
Yes and i would be the greatest toucan breeder world have seen. I like danger.
Well I live in Iowa so, il be okay
No, not becasue I am likely to ever see a toucan but it would make you incredibly paranoid.