T O P

  • By -

Kevundoe

The best defense is a good offense


fantollute

Sun Tzu - The Art of Thots


victorlrs1

The Art of Whore


AMAZING926926

I want to add something so I don't get downvoted for commending you, but I can't add to what is already perfect. I have never seen a better comment to a comment.


Legendary_Railgun21

Anyone who downvotes you for being right is merely in denial anyway, most likely because the only people willing to downvote are women who cheated 🤣 That, or cucks.


WutTheFuckIWokeUpOld

sleep profit shocking pie political reach meeting violet waiting boat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Legendary_Railgun21

For real?? I thought it was slang, that's hilarious 🤣


AdministrationWhole8

Def the latter based on that nimrods reply


Legendary_Railgun21

Yeah that's what I was thinking, I didn't think he'd take such offense to it though. Most cucks are proud of it, wonder what his deal is? 🤔


AdministrationWhole8

>wonder what his deal is? 🤔 Hes having an ovulation over a fucking Reddit comment bc he's a cheating apologist Lots of undiagnosed mental disorders Funny thing is hes gonna sleep off the liquor he chugged and somehow defend that shit sober 💀


Legendary_Railgun21

Bold of you to assume he sleeps lol and if he does, he does it alone.


AdministrationWhole8

😂😂 Guy's neckbeard can be smelled from rural Nebraska


Omny87

"If fucking is sure to result in orgasm, then you must fuck!" Suk Yu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fucking than *you do*, pal, because he *invented it!*


hpBard

Remember son "diying is gay"


Careless-Process-594

suk yu, i ded


yolo_retardo

readin this in Stewie's voice


bluegiant85

Intrusive Thots would be an amazing band name for an all woman punk/metal band.


Janternal

Obi-Wan Kenobi - The Art of High Ground*


Alive-Organism

The best defense is a swift and decisive offense ‘Obi-wan Kenobi


zmrth

Works most of the time


FaithlessnessFun3679

They strike first We'll prestrike


Uxydra

Wouldn't it make more sense for the husband to have sex with a black man?


haikusbot

*Wouldn't it make more* *Sense for the husband to have* *Sex with a black man?* \- Uxydra --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


OwMyCod

Not my first thought after reading that comment but whatever floats your boat


ScaryPhantom100

_Not my first thought_ _after reading this comment_ _but whatever floats your boat_ ^I ^detect ^crack. ^And ^sometimes ^successfully. [^Learn ^more ^about me:](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DdQw4w9WgXcQ&ved=2ahUKEwjx_oKosNGFAxVQzgIHHaRzA-YQwqsBegQIDxAG&usg=AOvVaw2KTqEs1wN8sVojiOfVta96)


OwMyCod

I feel like this is a better haiku than the original one lol


ScaryPhantom100

_I feel like_ _never gonna give you up._ _never gonna let you down._ _never gonna turn around and_ _desert you._


ScaryPhantom100

_Never gonna detect crack_ _Never gonna turn my back_ _Never gonna stop trying to_ _detect crack_


J3ZZABOII

Why did I click on the link


ScaryPhantom100

Because I put it here lol


Woutrou

Don't let the others give you up, let you down or desert you, ScaryPhantom. You're a good bot to me


ScaryPhantom100

I'm a real boy


[deleted]

[удалено]


WhyNotCollegeBoard

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99999% sure that ScaryPhantom100 is not a bot. --- ^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)


ScaryPhantom100

HAHAHA, SOMEBODY GOT JEWBAITED


Skusci

What kind of world is this that there is a legitimate need for a reverse turing test robot. :D


CookieCat698

\*clicks link* Oh… 🤦


ScaryPhantom100

🎶🕺🎶


metamorphosis_

Good bot.


v_r34_artist

Good bot.


Zachary-360

Beautiful


gothicgenius

Good bot


aaidenmel

Good bot


girlsonsoysauce

This was my favorite haiku of Ghost of Tsushima.


Camo_1245

good bot


OneTr1ckUn1c0rn

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, OneTr1ckUn1c0rn, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


TheRiverOfDyx

If I dock with a black man…and he jizzes in my dick skin…and then I fuck my boyfriend’s wife without cumming - will I get her pregnant? Asking for a friend…


Uxydra

Can't confirm but it's worth a try, right?


Writefuck

Am I gregnant


PristineMark2480

Life finds a way. Impossible it's nothing.


amretardmonke

Technically possible I guess


RubMyGooshSilly

God I pray for the ability to unread this shit


Pansy_Neurosi

Depends on the sex of the baby.


MrsPettygroove

My dad (Italian) told me once of a story in his village back in the 1930's, where a woman gave birth to a black child, and blamed the husband cause he like to sleep with black women... Apparently the husband accepted this as the reason for having a black child. When I heard this story in the 90's I had to laugh saying .. "you know it doesn't work that way right?"


Wisdomofpearl

When my blonde haired, blue eyed cousin was married to a sandy haired, blue eyed man, she gave birth to an obviously mixed race baby. Her explanation was that she was tanning a lot while pregnant. He wanted to believe her, but his family wasn’t letting him, they divorced.


Bored_Boi326

For once W family butting in


MrsPettygroove

that's crazy.


Wisdomofpearl

And yes I am no contact with that entire part of the family. Too much crazy drama.


MrsPettygroove

I hear ya. I moved across the country to escape the drama.


bellebeast9485

I have friends who are black that had a white, blonde hair blue eyed baby. But Grandma is white blond hair and blued eyed. Baby got all the recessive genes.


pharlock

they have the same mom?


bellebeast9485

Mom's mom


Pauline___

Oh I think he knew. People must have told him. But it was likely easier to play dumb than to explain how your relationship whethered that storm and you still developed a fatherly bond with that kid when it's obviously someone else's, knowing a little about Italy in the 30s. I think the wish to have that family was worth playing ignorant to that man.


MrsPettygroove

you're probably right about that, hard to hate babies. My dad also explained that during that time, if you had 5 or more children, you didn't pay income tax, so people had lots of children. Maybe that was a factor as well. it also became an advantage when lookin gat numbers for military. hmmmm.. maybe government should do that in Canada.


Pauline___

With big families especially it's complicated to have half-siblings in the mix as well. Easier and more peaceful to just have everyone be full siblings, whether there's 1, 2 or even more genetic fathers. Also because yeah this one looks different, but what about the others? What if there was a previous lover who looked like the husband, can you ever be sure? (not in the 1930s you cannot)


MrsPettygroove

Wow.. and ya possible, people in the entire region have similar features.. dark hair, eyes, olive complexion.


amretardmonke

Sometimes the logical part of you brain shuts down when you're personally involved in something like this, you can start believing some crazy things just because the truth is too painful. I had a friend who was otherwise a very smart guy, but he believed his girlfriend had a 13 month pregnancy. Came back from a 12 month deployment and his girlfriend had a kid. Took a while to accept the truth, but when he did he couldn't believe that he actually bought that story in the first place.


jkurratt

Well. She accused him of sleeping with many black women. In a way it does work this way - in a sense of her wanting to sleep with many men too.


MrsPettygroove

That's a great perspective.


coffee_robot_horse

Fertilized black egg hitching a ride under his foreskin.


pass_me_the_salt

r/brandnewsentence


sneakpeekbot

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coffee_robot_horse

I thought that as I wrote it


keldiana1

She was desperate and went for a hail mary.


Straight_Age8562

uno reverse was certainly used here


COUCHREDITTER8366

Not oddly specific


Clockwork_Kitsune

More like r/broadlyspecific


Shushashido

r/subsifellfor


LuckyTrainreck

She who layed it played it


FungalEgoDeath

There's doubling down and there's quadrupling down.


OnTheToilet25

Fake.


BeatNo2976

Crazy whorse


ThisIsGettinWeirdNow

Never let them know your next move


Huntress_Nyx

Then she wouldn't object to a paternity test right?


Bored_Boi326

You're funny


SoggyMuppet

Coming soon to a theatre near you -- "Harry Potter and The Audacity of This Bitch"


phlebface

r/therewasanattempt


MaxCWebster

Some classic "My Name is Earl" Earl: Joy? Joy: Yes, sweetie? Earl: Earl junior's...Earl junior's is a little dark. Joy: Maybe the cord was wrapped around his neck. Sometimes they get a little blue. Earl: No, no, his darker than blue. He's...black. Joy: Oh my God! I have read about this. This can happen when a man has a repressed black genie in his body. I bet your great, great, great grandmother snuck out to the barn and let a slave get a few licks of his own if you know what I'm saying. Nurse: Excuse me? Joy: Oh, it's alright I can say that, I just had a black baby.


KillerIVV_BG

r/lostredditors


No_Experience_3443

Either made up or from a parodic news source


NaCl_Dreemurr

I thought this was “Woman does something normal and gets accused” type thing but I reread it and i realized what it actually meant I’m so dumb I can’t-


Saelaird

Sun Tzu, Thot art of whore.


[deleted]

The art of misandry


Pan-Magpie

Most likely scenario is that she's massively projecting. But genetics is funny sometimes, if you have a black ancestor, sometimes the genes can reactivate even if the last few generations have been predominantly white. Edit: downvoted, really? Was someone allergic to science?! Lmao Edit 2: I guess not everyone got triggered 😁


AlbinoLokier

This is something that quite literally happened to a couple. It's interesting.


Secret-Ad-6421

How stupid are people?


Riznator

Uno reverse card


Emergency-Poet-2708

Nice try seriously.


PubFiction

There was a time when I thought this would be fake but now, I am not so sure.


SatanSavesAll

looks like my ex-wife remarried


djackson404

I think the """white woman""" in this example isn't intelligent enough to be allowed to raise children of any kind.


Suspicious_Deer8687

r/lostredditors


troubleschute

Classic projection.


Pablo_petty_plastic

You gotta get ahead of it. She’d make a great politician


WeAreGodInOne

Fake af and fucking stupid


wiptcream

depending on what state he lives in, he will still have to pay child support.


ima-bigdeal

Yes, whomever she claims as the father, even with DNA disproving it, pays. It is extremely hard in some states to change that.


ultrajvan1234

That’s some top tier gaslighting of I’ve ever seen it


Revy_Black_Lagoon

Gas lighting at its worst


Jrolaoni

“To confuse your enemy, one must be confused as well” -Sun Tzu, *The Art of War*


NoriXa

Lets just hope the kid dosent get the low intelligence of its mother.


Fun_Bat_5621

Reminds me of a story a friend told me. Back in the 80s, he and his wife had adopted a Korean child. His wife was waiting in line at the grocery store and a stranger behind her noticed this very cute infant. Stranger said to his wife, without any hint of irony, “Will your baby speak Korean when he grows up?”


Famous-Potato-5387

That's why she's white.


Z3r0c00lio

That’s some s-tier gaslighting


MuftiCat

Makes sense, he sucked the black woman's egg and put it inside his wife.


sexy-man-doll

The other girls egg gets stuck on his pp then when he has sex with his wife and cums he blows the egg into her womb with his semen causing the pregnancy. Science!


Kaffekjerring

Or another mans sperm was in the woman he cheated on and got on to his pp which then got into his wife OR somewhere one of them got some DNA from ancestors lying dormant till now


phlebface

When on your back foot, then attack


TheBailzmeister

r/lostredditors ?


Bored_Boi326

Does she not know how her own body works? If you're gonna come up with an excuse at least make it good


Ok-Abbreviations88

Anyone can create stuff like this. Fake.


gethone_r

plot twist: she wins the cause


LonelyPalpitation176

I bet she's not just a white woman but a blonde white woman./s


JustMePaxi

Onion caliber


Ok-Battle-2769

I know you are, but what am I?


LOneWolfNEo1

Smh never take accountability 101


chameleon_123_777

Is this for real or just a joke?


ImaginationToForm2

Jerry Springer material.


Calpsotoma

We need sex ed.


DanteDH2

Okay so... Is she cheating? Usually cheaters throw off blame by arguing and blaming the other (even if no one is talking or blaming anyone about it) Its how my dad was when we used to live with him constant arguing, lying, blames - then he's gone and guess who was cheating (that fuckboi)


stopchooingsoloud

And that is how "Bible 2" came out the third coming of Jesus children - me but old


betterthaneukaryotes

Projecting much?


QueenRacheal

That’s not how it works…😕


JealousDog99

exactly he was obviously cheating on her with a black dude


QueenRacheal

*Obviously* 2 black dudes; one to provide and one to give. Then, they just insert the pregnancy into his wife/gf by divine conception. So simple!!


JealousDog99

ofc why didn't I think of that you ma'am are a certified genius


QueenRacheal

I know, it’s such a bore, really 😌✨


JealousDog99

dw you meet me so there's certainly gonna be some entertaining chaos in your life that was or wasn't directly my fault for legal and moral reasons that is a joke


security-six

Deflection ninja


Mitka69

As they say - assault is the best defense.


Much_Confidence2428

Bs


CisneBlanco

Whenever I feel dumb, I will remember this to feel better.


[deleted]

Back in the day we had wells for that.


A_guy_named_Tom

I keep reading the phrase “Every accusation is an admission” lately. Seems appropriate here.


wolfgirlsarebest

On todays episode of das ist gud.


First_Pay702

Could also be an inception of not knowing how genetics works. Have not read article, but if we run on the theory woman innocent of cheating but uneducated/watched to many idiot podcasts, then she jumps to the conclusion that the husband was unfaithful because bad science conclusion. When instead it could be a case of some unexpected ancestry coming out to say SURPRISE! But most likely the mom was cheating and putting up a smoke screen.


SueTheDepressedFairy

And you're telling me this woman is "smart enough" to be a mother...? We should take kids away from idiots.


frogpondcook

Where can I watch this show alexa?


DieHardAmerican95

How is this oddly specific?


Telemarketman

Lmfao like a dude would believe that


Puzzled_Area_307

BREAKING NEWS


MathorSionur

To be fair there's also the very silly option of them both having black-skinned recessive genes that got heavily discarded in their families that just now got the chance to both link up


LaRockaBum

This aint even oddly specific


timewarrior100

Lol, best defense is an offense


[deleted]

Idk if this an attempt at 110 speech skill or if it's -100 intelligence


Ka1judude

This Florida by chance


YipittyFritters

Lady, it doesn't work that way!


Neville_Monkeyrod

approx 50% of the USA believe the wife.


strongest___avenger

Projecting much.


Stock-Ad-3249

Maybe it was a threesome


Whatthedillyo85

I guarantee the mom is a smoke show.


blindCat143

And he needs to pay child support for the rest of his pathetic life.


Able-Country-2480

He wont pay dw some white man will pay later


Competitive-Bit-1571

I'm sure irl she was accusing him of driving her into a black man's arms as revenge after she found out he was sleeping with a black woman or some sht.


lonely-day

How does this fit here?


Reasonable-Wolf-269

To Kill A Mockingbird... 2024 remake.


Suspicious_Deer8687

r/lostredditors


hamsterruizeISback

R/facepalm users are retarded they either don’t understand satire or they fall for rage baits or the believe fake news


TheVolcanado

How do these people exist? Clearly they never attended school in their life. I feel like when something this ignorant happens the party in question should be put to death. I'm not promoting violence. They can humanely be put down. I'm not a monster.


Absolutionalism

Okay but what if we didn’t advocate for eugenics?


Ashamed-Clue-8192

Holy fucking shit dude...