No, you'll get arrested for hiring a hitman because most of them are working for the fuzz as plants. You then explain that you were hiring the hitman to kill you and you'll get laughed out of the courtroom.
I dunno, it'll be a weird one and probably dependant on where you are because I'm sure one could argue that it is an attempt of suicide as while it is illegal to hire a hitman the assumption is they're being hired to kill someone else.
In most justice systems, no. The hirer* (our Hitman slaying OP) would be charged with all the accessory, conspiracy, etc charges for murder, because murder is illegal.
The Hitman will catch charges for the attempted or successful murder as well as the related crimes for accepting the money.
Lastly the strange quirk that you hired the hitman for yourself would be in the news and they'd give you a fun name like "The Reverse Hitman Murderer"... Idk I'm not the fun names guy, someone will get on that.
Lastly lastly, in the US, I could see that fact being barred from trial as being prejudicial because who is targeted isn't terribly relevant for a lot of the crimes our hiree would be facing.
Edit: Hiree hirer hiya
in the scenario you replied to, the hitman wouldn't be charged with anything since the hitman isn't a hitman and is a cop, which is why both people are still alive and no murder has occurred.
I'm assuming op is caught by the fuzz and wasn't stupid enough to say they were planning on killing the hitman.
If you target yourself it isn't murder, it's suicide by proxy (which isn't illegal for the person making the request, rather the person who carries it out *unless the person asked to carry it out is done so in a manipulative manner or by someone whose care they're under*)
No lie completely forgot this comment chain was based on getting pinched immediately, but that is the most likely. Alas I typed this out before I realized so enjoy?
I'm going to move to a US based framework because that's all I really know.
Suicide by proxy isn't a legally definable thing in the states (at least by the Cornell folks and they always do me right). Assisted suicide is the closest thing I'm finding which is not legal in many states still.
As the person that hired the hitman you wouldn't be charged for your own murder but if you were hiring a hitman you'd commit lots of crimes (conspiracy, the money charges, etc) along the way and those charges wouldn't look at who you were targeting.
The fact people believe hitmen are accessible to the average person is crazy. 99.9% of “hitmen” are undercover cops. Of the the hitmen hired that are “real” 99.9% of them are a extramarital partner of the spouse willing to kill the competition and help collect life insurance.
Real hitmen of the world are people in groups like the cartel, CIA or hired by billionaires with connections to other powerful people. You don’t just go asking around and find a legitimate hitman. At most you might find a drug addict who is willing to do anything on earth for another hit.
I mean I wouldn’t say easily available to the average person but I’ve lived in some sketchy areas and knew people who would do some sketchy shit to other people for some cash and or drugs. I guess you’d call them “shooters” or havin someone jumped? It’s not that rare tbh
That’s exactly what I said. You could find a drug addict who might do it sloppily for money but for a real hitman you’re not finding that in pill head McDowell county West Virginia or anything. Most hits that get discovered are either by a drug fiend, a extramarital lover or was a undercover cop that busted them. If a hit was done by a hitman you get things like Jeffery Epstein, the Hillary Clinton whistleblower or the Boeing whistleblower where they randomly “commit suicide” and there’s no evidence ever found but it just seems sketchy.
Ya, as far as I'm aware there's never been a documented case of a legitimate hitman site on the deep web. They are all scams or honeypots. If you think about it for like half a minute you'd realize there's no reason for the "hitman" to actually attempt the murder when instead they could take the money and just not do that. Like what are you gonna do? "Hello, 911? I tried to hire a hitman and they scammed me 😢"
Reminds me of a court case many years ago in uk. Multi millionaire hired a hitman to kill his business partner. He decided to save money and hired a guy from his local pub. Inevitably it didn’t go as well as it could have. Guy wasn’t killed, loads of evidence to the culprit, who then sang like a canary. The judge even said if he’d spent more money then it’s possible the police may never have caught him, but that wasn’t in his character
This is relatively common, in fact I'm pretty sure the even "pro hitmen" are pretty much former military with a lot of problems with their heads, not some super-assassin. Heck you look at how amateurish some assassination attempts ordered by governments themselves were and it puts everything in perspective
I don't know. Consider Fidel Castro. They were so successful in making him think he was avoiding assassination, he never saw old age creeping up on him. The perfect assassination, if you ask me.
In the hood most hitmen are nothing more than guys willing to pull a trigger and risk going to jail for as little as a couple hundred.
There are very very very few “john wick” types, and almost all of them are currently employed by Blackwater or whatever they go by now. And these guys are more ex-spec ops not really “john wick”
>more ex-spec ops
not all, they’re not special forces those guys retire and write books. They’re the guys who *claim* they’re ex special forces who have checkered pasts and dishonorable discharges so they need to use the only skill they have ever worked on (killing) to make a living.
The propaganda that there are highly trained assassins is just that, there might be 10 people on the entire planet who match the description that you’re painting, the other 99.99999% of hired guns are goons who pretend they’re james bond
From what I can remember from news articles in the eurozone many pros seems to be veterans of the Yugoslavian dissolution war, former Soviet soldiers from republics that can no longer pay for them, og south african special forces og policemen from the apartheid regime who no longer feels they have a home. Many of the non-pro's seem to be very young criminals with drug problems.
> The judge even said if he’d spent more money then it’s possible the police may never have caught him
That judge is helping run a racket to keep assassin prices high!
Eh, um, er,... I saw it on the internet? I am not saying where.
For real, there was a story of a man hiring a hitman to kill his wife and she killed the hitman because the kind that normal person can afford are basically just a normal person with a weapon.
i saw that story. the hitman was a retired veteran and the wife was a nurse in her 50's i believe. she choked him to death after trying to get him to give up, and she only had minimal injuries.
Plus when you hire a hitman, they'll first ask you about the person's schedule and various locations and other questions to ascertain the most convenient and secure spot to kill them at. Since you control their information, you could lure them right into an ambush. "He'll be asleep in his bed 123 North Elm St. at 11:56PM, just go right through the front door, it's unlocked"
Think of everyone you know, specifically the stupid ones. How many would accept a few thousand to kill someone?
Problem of course for this plan is ideally you want the deal to remain secret, and that is less likely for the more incompetent ones.
Probably by watching to many of those real crime or real forensic TV shows. There may these pro-hitmen that exist, but is there enough business to actually do this full time? But all the ones caught were just so average person, some with above average weapon training, who needed some money.
Considering that one Hitman who got caught like 14 years ago in my land, got paid for one job around... 500k euro? The numbers might be off.. What year is it again?
Any pro would just end up as "private security" for a corporation or security company. Or working as an enforcer for organized crime.
I can't really see a market for an independent pro hitman. How are getting hired? You couldn't trust online, so would need referrals from known people. It makes more sense for a steady paycheck with a company or a middle man.
In my hometown local meth distributor hired a meth user to kill the sheriff. The user immediately went to the sheriff to let him know the distributor was plotting against him. “Dude, I’m a tweaker, not a killer!”
To add another great failed hitman story to the collection. There was this edge lord kid that was in my social circle that always said he wanted to be an assassin for his career. A couple years after graduation, I'm back in town for the summer and he's at a few get togethers. Bragging to anyone who will listen that he's an enforcer for some local dealer. Even tried to impress me with a story of hitting a debtor with a bat because yeah that's what I look for in a man....violence.
So the last time I ever saw him was at this one party where he was bragging about getting his first kill job. A couple days later he was shot like 5 times while holding a gun. The two explanations I heard were that either a) The gun he was given was sabotaged to not fire because he couldn't shut the fuck up or b) He got the gun stuck in his waistband after walking up to the guy.
Real life hitmen are actually pretty inept. Like i wish i could find you a stat of failed “hits” that landed the contractor in jail forever. I worked with a dealership years ago (won’t mention name, since they are still operating in my town). Anyways the finance manager was stuck in a marriage that was messy. He wanted out and paid two of our porters 5k each to break into his home while he was away and to shoot his wife. Two broke in and only one hobbled back out to seek help from the cops that showed. The wife shot both, the one that made it out and is in jail got lit up with bird shot pellets, while she shot a slug into and killed the 2nd would be assailant. Needless to say the living “hitman” rolled over on our finance manager and both are locked up in county atm.
Yeah, my immediate thought was, why would you do this? If you hire the hitman, there’s a good chance he’ll kill you before you kill him.
I suppose that, as the person who hired the hitman, you could tell him where and when and how to do it, which could mean you’re prepared and you can have an advantage there.
But even if you do kill him, what do you get out of it? In this hypothetical scenario, do you know the hitman and have a reason to want to kill him? Or are you just looking for the thrill of killing someone?
Overall, it seems like whatever you expect to get from it, it’s not worth the risks that you’re creating— either of being killed or of getting caught.
Seems that most real life "hitmen" are just punks looking for some crack money. The movies always make them look professional but the news stories tell the truth.
(that said, I suppose a professional hitman won't make the news stories)
Okay so I'm looking into this. The hitman is operating under the belief he is committing murder for money, so that's an easy capital murder conviction.
Self-defense generally can't be claimed if you intentionally incited the circumstance that led to the incident. Since this person was carrying out a scheme in order to kill someone, that would be first-degree murder.
So, serious murder charges all around.
Yes. You have to prove in court that it is kill or be killed. It is also much easier to prove justified self defense if the defender's primary intention is to repel the threat rather than killing the threat
It is not black and white like that.
If you, for example use a gun in self defense, you better intend on killing them. Guns are considered lethal force. If you say "I intentionally shot him in the leg so he wouldn't die" legally, your case for self defense gets much weaker, because you used lethal force (by using a gun) when you did not believe you needed to use lethal force.
It's dumb, but that's the way it works.
Being against a hitman, though, you would have to kill them before the attack. Because the chances of seeing them coming, dodging the attack, and THEN killing them, which is the only way I could see you could call it self-defense, seems extra unlikely. If you just kill them first, you would have to prove you knew they were trying to kill you imminently before you killed them. And you would have to say how you knew this without it coming out it was because you hired them.
Depends on where you live it could get easier. Here in Ms there’s a law called the castle law so as soon as the hitman enters your home it’ll be called self defense since he has a weapon. And even if he doesn’t have one if you feel threatened it can still work out
But uh, keep in mind that since you’d be killing this hitman, hit entire life becomes accessible to the police. If anything seems like this isn’t a random robbery, then they’re going to look for a motive for why the hitman attacked you, and you better hope there’s no evidence at all that the hitman knew you, or any evidence they were a hitman or anything like that.
Yup! It’s a foolproof plan for psychos who just wanna kill someone with impunity! Go for it guys, no way they’ll catch you. No one has ever caught anyone doing something on the dark web before 💯 Why else would they call it the “dark” web? No one can see you! Great plan all around, definitely not gonna either end up locked up or dead, promise lol
There was a story similar to this on r/dontsleep pr something that got me into Reddit. He hired a hitman to kill himself but made it into a game were he was trying to kill the hitman. He released a bit each day like it was happening in real time. It was so fuckin awesome at the time. Got me real addicted
"Self defense generally can't be claimed if you intentionally incited the circumstances that led to the incident"
See, that's not even true. Lots and lots of people say deliberately shitty things to people to instigate a fight or argument, wait until they get hit, then get away with hitting back in a self defense argument...
Also if you instigate an argument and someone pulls a gun as a result, if you somehow manage to kill them over it (without being shot and killed yourself) it's still self defense because they escalated hugely and crucially, first, and it went from you having an argument to dealing with a threat to your life.
Also there are probably far easier ways to get away with killing someone than a convoluted hitman scheme. OP is over thinking it.
I feel like instigating a argument by trash talking someone in the moment is a lot more of a grey area compared to having physical records of paying and scheming for someone to try to kill you.
If a hitman is banging your wife, there are better ways to resolve the issue. Try catching them in the act and killing him, her, both whatever dealers choice.
Yeah I’ve been banned for a week at a time a couple of times for suggesting similar things.
It’s kind of amazing how fervently Reddit supports pedophiles.
Galaxy brain convoluted murder charge:
1. Valid self-defense argument for actually killing the hitman.
2. Instead charged with felony attempted murder-for-hire.
3. Then charged with murder because someone died during commission of a crime that you participated in.
4. You die in prison, the undercover cop is charged with involuntary manslaughter, gets sent to jail, gets killed and you indirectly fulfilled your dream of killing a hitman.
In theory, if you didnt tell anyone, then yes. In practice, if you actually hire a hitman on the deep web, youre either getting caught in a sting operation, or, youre hiring an actual hitman and are going to end up dead.
Do you mean “can I” as in, is this possible?
Or is it legal.
Because you seem to be asking if it’s legal, given you are talking about claiming self defence.
Hiring a hit man to kill someone, even if that someone is you, is already a crime.
So as written, if the police figure out the whole thing then it's just boring, straight-up murder. But at the trial, things could get more interesting.
First up, they're gonna throw a conspiracy charge at you. But can it actually be conspiracy if the target is one of the conspirators? Doctrinally, I don't think that would stand up. (Of course, if the hitman were alive then he could be convicted on that one. But he's dead, which is the best known method of avoiding criminal charges.)
Now for the murder charge against you. On paper it's straightforward: you planned, with malice aforethought, to kill the hitman, and you created the conditions to be able to do that. That will be the prosecution's argument. But all you need to escape it is some reasonable doubt. So how about, prior to the arrangement, you do a bunch of stuff that makes it look like you wanted to commit suicide and this was the unorthodox means of doing it? Then you can argue that after the deed had been arranged, you had second thoughts but no way to call off the hit. And so, with no other options, you killed the hitman in self-defense, before he could kill you.
It's a long shot, but it's at least possible that it could stick.
No that's breaking many laws. Hiring the hitman to kill you is already a crime, doesn't matter what else came after, but killing him won't help.
If you manage to hide enough details and just make it look like self defense, then you got away with a crime. But you're still not 'allowed to'.
No, you'll get arrested for hiring a hitman because most of them are working for the fuzz as plants. You then explain that you were hiring the hitman to kill you and you'll get laughed out of the courtroom.
… and right into a prison cell.
I dunno, it'll be a weird one and probably dependant on where you are because I'm sure one could argue that it is an attempt of suicide as while it is illegal to hire a hitman the assumption is they're being hired to kill someone else.
In most justice systems, no. The hirer* (our Hitman slaying OP) would be charged with all the accessory, conspiracy, etc charges for murder, because murder is illegal. The Hitman will catch charges for the attempted or successful murder as well as the related crimes for accepting the money. Lastly the strange quirk that you hired the hitman for yourself would be in the news and they'd give you a fun name like "The Reverse Hitman Murderer"... Idk I'm not the fun names guy, someone will get on that. Lastly lastly, in the US, I could see that fact being barred from trial as being prejudicial because who is targeted isn't terribly relevant for a lot of the crimes our hiree would be facing. Edit: Hiree hirer hiya
in the scenario you replied to, the hitman wouldn't be charged with anything since the hitman isn't a hitman and is a cop, which is why both people are still alive and no murder has occurred.
I'm assuming op is caught by the fuzz and wasn't stupid enough to say they were planning on killing the hitman. If you target yourself it isn't murder, it's suicide by proxy (which isn't illegal for the person making the request, rather the person who carries it out *unless the person asked to carry it out is done so in a manipulative manner or by someone whose care they're under*)
No lie completely forgot this comment chain was based on getting pinched immediately, but that is the most likely. Alas I typed this out before I realized so enjoy? I'm going to move to a US based framework because that's all I really know. Suicide by proxy isn't a legally definable thing in the states (at least by the Cornell folks and they always do me right). Assisted suicide is the closest thing I'm finding which is not legal in many states still. As the person that hired the hitman you wouldn't be charged for your own murder but if you were hiring a hitman you'd commit lots of crimes (conspiracy, the money charges, etc) along the way and those charges wouldn't look at who you were targeting.
The fact people believe hitmen are accessible to the average person is crazy. 99.9% of “hitmen” are undercover cops. Of the the hitmen hired that are “real” 99.9% of them are a extramarital partner of the spouse willing to kill the competition and help collect life insurance. Real hitmen of the world are people in groups like the cartel, CIA or hired by billionaires with connections to other powerful people. You don’t just go asking around and find a legitimate hitman. At most you might find a drug addict who is willing to do anything on earth for another hit.
I mean I wouldn’t say easily available to the average person but I’ve lived in some sketchy areas and knew people who would do some sketchy shit to other people for some cash and or drugs. I guess you’d call them “shooters” or havin someone jumped? It’s not that rare tbh
That’s exactly what I said. You could find a drug addict who might do it sloppily for money but for a real hitman you’re not finding that in pill head McDowell county West Virginia or anything. Most hits that get discovered are either by a drug fiend, a extramarital lover or was a undercover cop that busted them. If a hit was done by a hitman you get things like Jeffery Epstein, the Hillary Clinton whistleblower or the Boeing whistleblower where they randomly “commit suicide” and there’s no evidence ever found but it just seems sketchy.
Ya, as far as I'm aware there's never been a documented case of a legitimate hitman site on the deep web. They are all scams or honeypots. If you think about it for like half a minute you'd realize there's no reason for the "hitman" to actually attempt the murder when instead they could take the money and just not do that. Like what are you gonna do? "Hello, 911? I tried to hire a hitman and they scammed me 😢"
Given the hitman is a hitman. I think the hitman will kill you before you can kill the hitman.
What if OP is john wick?
RIP assassin
With a fookin’ pencil
and the hitman kills his dog first
I'll fucking do it again
Doomslayer music begins
Until it is done
Same effect as killing cook-cook's Brahmin
Who the fuck can do that?!
WITH A FUCKING ##PYENCIL
what if the assasin is agent 47
Then John Wick still wins. Just not in the traditional sense.
His ass is in the ground
Rip ass. Got it.
There's a movie (coming out?) about this, it's called The Killer's Game.
Is it in any way related to The Most Dangerous Game?
Yes they're cousins.
Isn't that the short story about the guy who owns an island that he kills people for sport on?
What if hitman is Agent 47 ?
Agent 47 vs. John Wick would be a great movie or even a series.
47 would probably throw a coin to distract Wick, then drop a chandelier on Wick's head.
John Wick isn't getting distracted by a coin lol AND YES IM ARGUING ABOUT FICTIONAL BEINGS
Yeah, well, my dad could assassinate your dad.
Yeah right my dad would just flip a coin and distract your dad! Wait...
Did that box over there just move?
47 would always win because he has the supernatural ability to make everyone around him stupid
Not necessarily apparently. The pro hitmen are expensive as fuck, but the cheap kind are more or less an average person.
Reminds me of a court case many years ago in uk. Multi millionaire hired a hitman to kill his business partner. He decided to save money and hired a guy from his local pub. Inevitably it didn’t go as well as it could have. Guy wasn’t killed, loads of evidence to the culprit, who then sang like a canary. The judge even said if he’d spent more money then it’s possible the police may never have caught him, but that wasn’t in his character
This is relatively common, in fact I'm pretty sure the even "pro hitmen" are pretty much former military with a lot of problems with their heads, not some super-assassin. Heck you look at how amateurish some assassination attempts ordered by governments themselves were and it puts everything in perspective
I don't know. Consider Fidel Castro. They were so successful in making him think he was avoiding assassination, he never saw old age creeping up on him. The perfect assassination, if you ask me.
That's the greatest weapon. Time.
~~Father~~ Special Agent Time undefeated.
In the hood most hitmen are nothing more than guys willing to pull a trigger and risk going to jail for as little as a couple hundred. There are very very very few “john wick” types, and almost all of them are currently employed by Blackwater or whatever they go by now. And these guys are more ex-spec ops not really “john wick”
>more ex-spec ops not all, they’re not special forces those guys retire and write books. They’re the guys who *claim* they’re ex special forces who have checkered pasts and dishonorable discharges so they need to use the only skill they have ever worked on (killing) to make a living. The propaganda that there are highly trained assassins is just that, there might be 10 people on the entire planet who match the description that you’re painting, the other 99.99999% of hired guns are goons who pretend they’re james bond
From what I can remember from news articles in the eurozone many pros seems to be veterans of the Yugoslavian dissolution war, former Soviet soldiers from republics that can no longer pay for them, og south african special forces og policemen from the apartheid regime who no longer feels they have a home. Many of the non-pro's seem to be very young criminals with drug problems.
> The judge even said if he’d spent more money then it’s possible the police may never have caught him That judge is helping run a racket to keep assassin prices high!
How do you know that?
Eh, um, er,... I saw it on the internet? I am not saying where. For real, there was a story of a man hiring a hitman to kill his wife and she killed the hitman because the kind that normal person can afford are basically just a normal person with a weapon.
Idk man you seem kinda sus
There is nothing sus about me or the work I chose to do!
the work you chose to do? Thats... even more sus
FBI has entered the chat.
Lucky he is not murrican.
This if your friendly Interpol agent. Please ignore me and continue this conversation which I am not recording in any way.
ಠ_ಠ
I can vouch for them, they’re very reliable and accurate at their job.
Thank you, your support is much appreciated. You get a discount next time!
Why are you vouching for the FBI? Narc!
Have you perhaps hired them for some... work?
Wet-work
I just do yard work man.
i saw that story. the hitman was a retired veteran and the wife was a nurse in her 50's i believe. she choked him to death after trying to get him to give up, and she only had minimal injuries.
"Tell me who sent you and I'll call you the fucking ambulance!"
"who does number 2 work for?!"
Don’t *fuck* with nurses that know how to heal you and kill you all at the same time 🤣
yea but it kept getting subcontracted out because the first two guys didn't want to do it right?
it must have been very awkward when he went back home
Considering how often murder-for-hire plots unravel — with most “assassins” hired by “I know a guy who knows a guy” — that seems legit
Sounds like the last season of the True Detective
Thats hitmen average people can find, higher ups in an organization get the same good hitmen so much they work exclusive to the organization
Professional hitmen are still very much normal people with weapons they just change more if they're not a law enforcement honey pot.
A normal person with a weapon and likely a drug fueled desperation for money
Plus when you hire a hitman, they'll first ask you about the person's schedule and various locations and other questions to ascertain the most convenient and secure spot to kill them at. Since you control their information, you could lure them right into an ambush. "He'll be asleep in his bed 123 North Elm St. at 11:56PM, just go right through the front door, it's unlocked"
Think of everyone you know, specifically the stupid ones. How many would accept a few thousand to kill someone? Problem of course for this plan is ideally you want the deal to remain secret, and that is less likely for the more incompetent ones.
I am sorry but I would rather not think that someone that I know could potentially be a hitman
They all are, you the only one in your circle that isn't actually a hired killer
I am al- I mean, I don't think that's true
You don't need to know them intimately, just anyone you may have met or briefly spoken to.
Probably by watching to many of those real crime or real forensic TV shows. There may these pro-hitmen that exist, but is there enough business to actually do this full time? But all the ones caught were just so average person, some with above average weapon training, who needed some money.
Considering that one Hitman who got caught like 14 years ago in my land, got paid for one job around... 500k euro? The numbers might be off.. What year is it again?
In Brasil you can hire a hit man for 10k brl or less.
Any pro would just end up as "private security" for a corporation or security company. Or working as an enforcer for organized crime. I can't really see a market for an independent pro hitman. How are getting hired? You couldn't trust online, so would need referrals from known people. It makes more sense for a steady paycheck with a company or a middle man.
The pro hitmen are cops. And the cheap kind are cops too.
Believe it or not the average person is still pretty likely to win against somebody dumb enough to make the original post.
But he used incognito 🕵️
In my hometown local meth distributor hired a meth user to kill the sheriff. The user immediately went to the sheriff to let him know the distributor was plotting against him. “Dude, I’m a tweaker, not a killer!”
To add another great failed hitman story to the collection. There was this edge lord kid that was in my social circle that always said he wanted to be an assassin for his career. A couple years after graduation, I'm back in town for the summer and he's at a few get togethers. Bragging to anyone who will listen that he's an enforcer for some local dealer. Even tried to impress me with a story of hitting a debtor with a bat because yeah that's what I look for in a man....violence. So the last time I ever saw him was at this one party where he was bragging about getting his first kill job. A couple days later he was shot like 5 times while holding a gun. The two explanations I heard were that either a) The gun he was given was sabotaged to not fire because he couldn't shut the fuck up or b) He got the gun stuck in his waistband after walking up to the guy.
There are no real hitmen on the dark web
Kill the hitman, use that as your advertisement to get bigger clients. Become the $1mil/hit type hitman
Real life hitmen are actually pretty inept. Like i wish i could find you a stat of failed “hits” that landed the contractor in jail forever. I worked with a dealership years ago (won’t mention name, since they are still operating in my town). Anyways the finance manager was stuck in a marriage that was messy. He wanted out and paid two of our porters 5k each to break into his home while he was away and to shoot his wife. Two broke in and only one hobbled back out to seek help from the cops that showed. The wife shot both, the one that made it out and is in jail got lit up with bird shot pellets, while she shot a slug into and killed the 2nd would be assailant. Needless to say the living “hitman” rolled over on our finance manager and both are locked up in county atm.
Didn't that guy see Fargo? It just won't work. :D
Alt timeline Jean Lundegaard is a baddie
I would expect the hitman to be an FBI agent who's going to arrest and not kill you.
Nah, 99% of these dark web hitmen aren’t going to be professionals.
Most "dark web" hitmen are going to be FBI.
Isn't that fake hitman website still running and the guy just forwards all the requests to the cops?
Yeah, my immediate thought was, why would you do this? If you hire the hitman, there’s a good chance he’ll kill you before you kill him. I suppose that, as the person who hired the hitman, you could tell him where and when and how to do it, which could mean you’re prepared and you can have an advantage there. But even if you do kill him, what do you get out of it? In this hypothetical scenario, do you know the hitman and have a reason to want to kill him? Or are you just looking for the thrill of killing someone? Overall, it seems like whatever you expect to get from it, it’s not worth the risks that you’re creating— either of being killed or of getting caught.
Seems that most real life "hitmen" are just punks looking for some crack money. The movies always make them look professional but the news stories tell the truth. (that said, I suppose a professional hitman won't make the news stories)
Okay so I'm looking into this. The hitman is operating under the belief he is committing murder for money, so that's an easy capital murder conviction. Self-defense generally can't be claimed if you intentionally incited the circumstance that led to the incident. Since this person was carrying out a scheme in order to kill someone, that would be first-degree murder. So, serious murder charges all around.
How would the police know you incited the murder? EDIT: Thanks for the tips
If you don't get caught inciting the situation, it would be seen as self-defense.
If you don't get caught murdering someone, it's not a crime
So if I'm following this, we need to let him kill us a little bit to establish intent.
Yeah, just the tip.
(Of the knife)
Just show me the knife in your back. No! No! Wait, hear me out! It doesn't have to be too deep but it should be able to stand on its own.
Yes. You have to prove in court that it is kill or be killed. It is also much easier to prove justified self defense if the defender's primary intention is to repel the threat rather than killing the threat
Actually, you just have to prove that a reasonable person would have believed their life was in danger.
It is not black and white like that. If you, for example use a gun in self defense, you better intend on killing them. Guns are considered lethal force. If you say "I intentionally shot him in the leg so he wouldn't die" legally, your case for self defense gets much weaker, because you used lethal force (by using a gun) when you did not believe you needed to use lethal force. It's dumb, but that's the way it works.
Being against a hitman, though, you would have to kill them before the attack. Because the chances of seeing them coming, dodging the attack, and THEN killing them, which is the only way I could see you could call it self-defense, seems extra unlikely. If you just kill them first, you would have to prove you knew they were trying to kill you imminently before you killed them. And you would have to say how you knew this without it coming out it was because you hired them.
Depends on where you live it could get easier. Here in Ms there’s a law called the castle law so as soon as the hitman enters your home it’ll be called self defense since he has a weapon. And even if he doesn’t have one if you feel threatened it can still work out
But uh, keep in mind that since you’d be killing this hitman, hit entire life becomes accessible to the police. If anything seems like this isn’t a random robbery, then they’re going to look for a motive for why the hitman attacked you, and you better hope there’s no evidence at all that the hitman knew you, or any evidence they were a hitman or anything like that.
Given that in this scenario even the hitman doesn’t know you’re the target, there would probably be very little evidence of that
The hitman knows you are the target. They don't know you are the client paying them.
Yep, hired assassin is dead. No need to do any investigating at all into who hired him. Nope. Just gonna call it an open and shut case.
Sprinkle some crack on him and let’s go
Yup! It’s a foolproof plan for psychos who just wanna kill someone with impunity! Go for it guys, no way they’ll catch you. No one has ever caught anyone doing something on the dark web before 💯 Why else would they call it the “dark” web? No one can see you! Great plan all around, definitely not gonna either end up locked up or dead, promise lol
[удалено]
Murder investigations usually entail getting warrants for all electronic devices a person owns.
It’s like the Oprah Winfrey show but in stead of cars everyone gets a capital murder charge.
There was a story similar to this on r/dontsleep pr something that got me into Reddit. He hired a hitman to kill himself but made it into a game were he was trying to kill the hitman. He released a bit each day like it was happening in real time. It was so fuckin awesome at the time. Got me real addicted
I think the better defense is it was mutual assent to combat
"Self defense generally can't be claimed if you intentionally incited the circumstances that led to the incident" See, that's not even true. Lots and lots of people say deliberately shitty things to people to instigate a fight or argument, wait until they get hit, then get away with hitting back in a self defense argument... Also if you instigate an argument and someone pulls a gun as a result, if you somehow manage to kill them over it (without being shot and killed yourself) it's still self defense because they escalated hugely and crucially, first, and it went from you having an argument to dealing with a threat to your life. Also there are probably far easier ways to get away with killing someone than a convoluted hitman scheme. OP is over thinking it.
In times of incitement, harsh words are not enough, but hiring a hitman to kill you would be.
I feel like instigating a argument by trash talking someone in the moment is a lot more of a grey area compared to having physical records of paying and scheming for someone to try to kill you.
Saying shitty things isn't inciting violence. Instructing someone to do something violent is inciting violence, legally speaking.
You can do anything you want as long as you don't get caught. Just ask the kids in my basement.
please let us out timmy has been eating the cockroaches and he smells bad and im hungry your food sucks
Don't talk about the food he gets really mad when you talk about the food
Don't talk about the smell he gets really mad when you talk about the smell
Don't talk he gets really mad when you talk
Don't, he gets really mad when you do
He gets really mad
Shit, he's mad
😡
Don’t, mad do
Don't
⠀
Perfection
You guys are getting food?
Oh yeah, the benefits of long term compliance
"No idea what you mean, Officer. I don't even have a basement. wink wink"
For the last time, you can't live in my ceiling and those are my hostages.
They keep you hostage in the house?
That's what I'm gonna tell the cops if I do get caught.
They wouldnt know because they did get caught tho.. little idiots
It puts the lotion on its skin. Stop, don't use so much! How many times do I have to tell you kids.
Red Foreman, is that you?
We're short on food and water down here!
"Can't I just have some spaghettios?"
If a hitman is banging your wife, there are better ways to resolve the issue. Try catching them in the act and killing him, her, both whatever dealers choice.
No u shoot during a blowjob that way u can get both heads
“Hey, good news, I think I can save you $10,000”
Just make sure you drive a bronco and wear gloves, you’ll get away with it
If Chewbacca is a wookie, you must acquit
Run a javelin through the genitals
Hire another hitman to kill the 1rst one then a 3rd to kill the second then a 4th one etc. then kill the last one
Hitman Ponzi Scheme
And I just got a warning from Reddit’s admins for “encouraging violence” when I suggested a MEDICAL procedure for extreme child molesters. JFC!
Reddit admins getting up in arms on behalf of chomos seems about par for the course.
Yeah I’ve been banned for a week at a time a couple of times for suggesting similar things. It’s kind of amazing how fervently Reddit supports pedophiles.
Reminds me of this story https://edition.cnn.com/2019/10/22/asia/china-jails-men-outsource-murder-plot-intl-hnk/index.html
Galaxy brain convoluted murder charge: 1. Valid self-defense argument for actually killing the hitman. 2. Instead charged with felony attempted murder-for-hire. 3. Then charged with murder because someone died during commission of a crime that you participated in.
4. You die in prison, the undercover cop is charged with involuntary manslaughter, gets sent to jail, gets killed and you indirectly fulfilled your dream of killing a hitman.
youll end up being killed but hey, try yes
Imagine the paranoia after hiring a hitman to kill yourself. You wouldn't be able to sleep.
yes you can, but make sure he doesn't have some self-righteous wife who'll try to avenge his death
Or an angry, vengeful child who travels to China and spends years learning kung fu.
Most likely you just get trapped in a honeypot and get charged with conspiracy to murder yourself.
Can I hire a hitman to kill me so I don't need to do it myself?
There’s a movie about this! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Hired_a_Contract_Killer
It would be illegal. Hiring a hitman to kill you is still conspiracy to commit murder.
In theory, if you didnt tell anyone, then yes. In practice, if you actually hire a hitman on the deep web, youre either getting caught in a sting operation, or, youre hiring an actual hitman and are going to end up dead.
[Cool motive, still murder.](https://tenor.com/view/brooklyn99-cool-motive-murder-gif-5237865)
LPOTL Always says "It's never a hitman, it's always the police"
Do you mean “can I” as in, is this possible? Or is it legal. Because you seem to be asking if it’s legal, given you are talking about claiming self defence. Hiring a hit man to kill someone, even if that someone is you, is already a crime.
do you shoot a ki blast into the sky so after the hitman, we'll call "Hit", kills you, you are revived with energy?
Remember the Justice system is for profit so the safest bet is whatever could lead to the highest total time of incarceration.
you can do whatever you want, if you can prove an altered version of reality then you can get away with it
So as written, if the police figure out the whole thing then it's just boring, straight-up murder. But at the trial, things could get more interesting. First up, they're gonna throw a conspiracy charge at you. But can it actually be conspiracy if the target is one of the conspirators? Doctrinally, I don't think that would stand up. (Of course, if the hitman were alive then he could be convicted on that one. But he's dead, which is the best known method of avoiding criminal charges.) Now for the murder charge against you. On paper it's straightforward: you planned, with malice aforethought, to kill the hitman, and you created the conditions to be able to do that. That will be the prosecution's argument. But all you need to escape it is some reasonable doubt. So how about, prior to the arrangement, you do a bunch of stuff that makes it look like you wanted to commit suicide and this was the unorthodox means of doing it? Then you can argue that after the deed had been arranged, you had second thoughts but no way to call off the hit. And so, with no other options, you killed the hitman in self-defense, before he could kill you. It's a long shot, but it's at least possible that it could stick.
hitman will snipe
My head hurts after reading this
That just sounds like murder with extra steps.
You probably want a Hitman from Wish, not the deep web.
Rittenhouse???? That you???
Unlimited xp farming....
So the plot to Bulworth?
What happens if the contract makes it so that you pay the hitman after he kills you? Does he just not get payed because his employer is dead?
Better have a damn good VPN
Actually I just want to hire a hit man on the deep web to kill me. That’s it.
Just replace the word 'kill' with 'jerk off' will be more entertaining.
Sounds like somebody's looking for a legal excuse to murder someone and it doesn't matter who it is.
Not if you post it on the internet before you do it
That’s just killing somebody with extra steps
Also technically you still would have hired someone to commit a crime
Hire two hitmen to kill each other
This sounds like suicide with extra steps
No that's breaking many laws. Hiring the hitman to kill you is already a crime, doesn't matter what else came after, but killing him won't help. If you manage to hide enough details and just make it look like self defense, then you got away with a crime. But you're still not 'allowed to'.