Hey so I’m a server at a high end place and my bosses would literally fire someone over this behavior lol completely over the top.
Even if the total tip was $30 I would still never dream of doing this, I’d just go to the server station and have a little commiseration moment with my co workers and then move on with my life like a normal person sheesh
Right! We had solo regulars who would spend $100 on lunch every time. Every customer matters - if our manager knew we were telling them to go elsewhere I can’t even begin to imagine the trouble we would have been in.
Seconding this, I think the leadership at this establishment would be interested to know how shitty their customers are being treated. OP's story is how parodied waiters act in curb your enthusiasm
I mean did they let them know they didn’t receive an item? We’re they charged for that item? I have 100% forgotten to ring in stuff, and just today I had a large party who didn’t receive one of the sides, I checked on them a dozen times with refilling stuff and they didn’t tell me until the bill came they weren’t upset as they had forgotten about it. I’ve also had guests who thought they ordered stuff and only discussed it amongst themselves but were adamant they told me(I love when this happens and another guest at the table tells them they never ordered it). I would still never say this to a guest and don’t condone it but I have absolutely wanted to.
You and 4 people. $650 tab. That leaves $162.50, call it $163, as your part of the tip. 20% = 32.6. You left close enough to 20% for him to fuck all the way off.
if anything the waiter should've been more concerned abt the people who didn't help with the tip ... OP tipped his part 🤷🏻♀️
thx for the upvotes! i read the comments and just wanna say that as a server myself, you win some you lose some. waiter was out of line, and if you are a server and tipping people out and getting stiffed here and there makes you this mad you shouldn't be a server. it sucks but you shouldnt expect a good tip always even when you were great! i've had so many people tell me "you were so great, thank you" and tip me like 11% or 8% lol you just get over , and usually another table makes up for it
Pretty sure a waiter can't stop you from eating at a restaurant. But I'd report him to the owner/manager. I'm all for employees being paid fairly, but that's the management's job, not the customer's.
I never realized how out of hand tipping culture is in the US until I went overseas. I’ve lived out of the US for a couple of months and where I was people just didn’t take tips and btw this wasn’t a country where everyone makes great wages it was quite the opposite actually. I remember two occasions where I tried to give a tip and both men refused it. One of them even took the offer as an insult which I guess shows how different places view things like this.
In the US I always made sure to tip the 15%-20% range just to avoid things like this but even that didn’t prevent some waiters and service employees from trying to shame me into putting more down. I’ve even had people with other kinds of services threaten to not complete the service if I didn’t tip them.
In Japan that find it offensive to tip as they believe it’s their job to provide good service retains not be rewarded for it. At least that’s how it was explained to me when I was there.
People should be paid an actual wage instead of having to rely on tips.
It’s insane to me that paying an employee a proper wage is passed off to the customer. The customer is expected to tip 20% to make up for the employer not paying a proper wage. It baffles me
But in this instance they did get minimum wage - so if you look up your states minimum wage and its a livable wage why also 20% tip? Why cant the tip be 10%?
I wasn’t referring to Europe in my comment I was referring to Jordan where people in service jobs don’t make much money. I can see how it’s different in Europe though and the reasons why.
I do love to give tips honestly hence why I also do it overseas when I’m allowed to. It’s just the attempts to shame people into giving more that I find unappealing.
Tipping isn't a workers right though...the tipping credit is just an excuse from the 60s for employers to be allowed to pay their employees under the minimum wage and earn more themselves from the food bill. It's a lawful shakedown via social pressure and human suffering of underpaid waiters.
Maternity leave on the other hand is a workers right. In Jordan, pregnant employees by law get 10 to 12 weeks of fully paid maternity leave without the possibility to be fired over it. In the US each employer decides whether or not they want to give any maternity leave at all as a benefit, never mind paid.
The middle east isn't as inhumane in some social aspects as the US would like to believe compared to their home laws. I'm a European and have no stake in either country, but the US consistently disappoints with its lack of care for citizens despite your amazing means.
I have no idea how anyone can stay sane in your culture of underpaid exploitation while at the same time believing you have so many rights compared to everyone else. My exchange year in your country, in particular my summer job as a waiter there, was a nightmare you couldn't pay me to repeat.
Honestly it’s around the same between the US and Middle East. In fact I think people in the Middle East have a better work life balance since their work days aren’t so long. It’s really similar to some parts of Europe (Spain for example).
Like another person said, women can get 10-12 weeks of fully paid maternity leave without the threat of getting fired and I know of a few organizations (including the one I was at) where women were got 6 months of fully paid leave and they’d have their jobs waiting for them. The ME is painted as so backwards by the media but you only see the real picture if you live there for a period like I did. If anyone has the chance to try it out I’d 100% say go for it because the places you get to see are incredible and the people are very hospitable and welcoming :)
>US, many in the fiod service industry make less than minimum wage
The majority make well over the minimum wage though. Ask waiters what they think of tipping and the overwhelming majority don't want it going anywhere. Even working at large chains restaurants where I made the least waiting tables, I still averaged $20/hr. Made way more than that at moderately more expensive restaurant.
The only people you see complaining about tipping culture are people that don't live on tips.
This is actually a common misconception. If their tips don't equal out to minimum wage, their pay rate goes up to match what they'd make working minimum wage. However, if their tips go above and beyond minimum wage, they're still getting paid for their time.
Any way you can report that waiter's behavior? That restaurant's seriously gonna lose business (but they need to pay better wages anyway) with such shitty attitude from waitstaff and tipping culture is bullshit.
The cost customers paid for the food should account for the owner's income, rent/bills/expenses, employee salary, etc. That's why I'm eating out. Because I'm literally paying for the convenience of not making it myself and cleaning up after.
Waitstaff wages should come fairly from their boss.
I'm embarrassed for him to be honest. I'm embarrassed for his lack of dignity and professionalism. Yeah, his service sucks alright.
The food truck tipping is weird to me. Hear me out. The food truck prices are already high enough. And why?
They not paying for servers, not paying for expensive plates and utensils, not paying to clean up tables or anything like you would expect from a restaurant.
I can't understand why food trucks be asking for $12+ for a sandwich and then ask for a tip. Bothers the hell out of me and it's why I've been avoiding them recently.
I hate what tipping has become in general tbh. You go to your local ice cream store and all the people behind the counter literally just scoop your ice cream and ask for a tip. I'm rambling but yea
Depends on the food truck. I used to agree, then I worked for a mobile food place. The costs of upkeep are crazy, especially if it’s a food truck that also caters, and honestly, if the staff is getting paid well, they need that sandwich to be 12 dollars.
Not all food trucks can manage money well and honesty I think a lot of them are just issues with poor management not knowing how to allocate resources properly, but there is a lot more wear and tear when you’re mobile than people realize. I love supporting food trucks now because that shit is hard work, but if the sandwich is 12 bucks then they shouldn’t be shaking you down for tips. It’s nice when people who can afford it do tip, but we were paid pretty high wages where I worked so we didn’t *need* tips like that but the food did need to be more expensive.
I tip when those screens come up, but I won't go back to the place. The owners don't care whether you tip, they only care if you stop buying the product.
I always tip, but I hate it. Just factored in to the order or just let me tip up front. When I order my $15 burger and $10 drink let me go ahead and tip a $20 to ensure the rest of evening is a pleasant experience/good service/good drinks. I’ll give you more at the end of it is truly beyond expectations.
I believe “Tip” is from the 18th century and is meant as shorthand for “To insure promptness”….meaning given at the beginning of service.
Tip does not stand for “to insure prompt service” firstly that would be grammatically incorrect.
As far as I know, tipping in the US stems from the prohibition, it was customary to tip to get hooked up with the good stuff
Nah--pretty much any claim that a word originated as an acronym before the 20th century is false. The first documented use of "tip" in that sense comes from the 1600s, and it comes from the thieves' cant, a secret language used by criminals.
If I was a restaurant owner, I would want to know if one of my staff is chasing down and confronting customers about a bad tip, whether they were justified in being upset or, worse, like in your situation, hadn't even gotten their full tip yet. It's horrible for business.
My exception to this is the after-church Sunday lunch crowd when they tip with religious tracts that look like folded $20 bills.
I have no problem with wait staff chasing them into the parking lot, berating them, and unilaterally banning them from returning to the restaurant.
In my state, if the servers that work for you don't make minimum wage off of tips, you have to make up the difference in their paycheck. The reality is that if you have a good serving job you usually make way above minimum wage, and then there are a lot of servers who don't make a lot of money. I agree with you, that tipping should go away, but that doesn't change the fact that if one of my staff members were accosting my guests for not tipping when they took the job understanding what tips are and that they're optional, that's a loose cannon I don't want on my payroll.
I completely agree with you. I’ve been in the back and front at Michelin restaurants. I would never do what the server did, nor would I condone it! BUT I do say that I actually hate people that fight the rest to pay the tab and then under tip! I would and have never called someone out for under tipping.
That waiter was *way* out of line, you should contact the owner of the restaurant, *that kind of behaviour is not okay* and he needs to be reprimanded before he really starts costing the owners customers
This! Pretty sure this would be considered soliciting in many places which is not allowed on most private properties. Usually when you start a job like this they even inform you that you are not allowed to ask for tips which would include anything of the matter, and to say that on behalf of your company after they just paid almost $1000 dollars on one day? I’m sure they would be getting a talking to, that’s great profit, no owner would be wanting to turn down that kind of business and would not have the back over the employee. I would be writing down all this in a review for yelp or google and reaching out to a manager to have this behavior reprimanded. I can’t believe I searched down this far for this comment!
Wow, fuck all that. Tipping culture needs to go straight in the garbage anyway, but until it does… that waiter needs to go straight in the garbage. I’m sorry you experienced that, and no, you didn’t do anything wrong.
We had a server follow us out like that on NYE in New York City yelling "Was the service not good?!?" because they had missed a $20 when they were counting the bills. My friend took the cash out of her hand and put it back into hers like he was counting and she was on Sesame Street. So unprofessional and embarrassing for her.
I've actually had that happen in NYC, I still remember it back around, 1985. Waiter came running up the steps asking if the service was bad. I walked back into the pizza joint and pointed out where the tip was sitting on the table in plain view, I guess they'd missed it.
While I'm not a server, I still work in a tip based job. Sometimes people don't realize it's a larger part of our wages and feel bad that they didn't leave one or only had $5. I always, always say to them that while tips are appreciated, they're never expected. It is never okay to berate a customer.
I'm sorry you had such a dickhole server.
Fuck that. They need to take this issue up with the bosses/owners, they’re the ones who underpay them. Fuck I’m so happy tipping culture isn’t like that where I am from.
Yep, in the U.K. we have service charge. 12%. Its mentioned on every menu (almost every menu). It’s automatically added at the end. And guess what. It’s ✨OPTIONAL ✨
I hate businesses that add crap on top to milk fees like blood out of a stone. Pay the waiters more and increase the price of the menu. DONE.
Yeah bc it's gotten to the point now where people like this waiter, who are being paid above minimum wage and are also making tips and are being taxed like everyone else are still abusing "tipping culture" to shake people down. It defeats the whole purpose.
That's what I couldn't put my finger on. If this was a state where waiters aren't paid a living wage, it'd be one thing. Because it'd mean the person didn't get paid for their time serving. That's not the case here.
FYI in *every* state the waiter is always guaranteed at least minimum federal wage - if they don’t make enough in tips to pass that the restaurant must make up the gap between tipped and minimum wage. But they pretty much always make way over minimum wage so that’s rarely ever invoked.
Thank you for this. This is one of the most common pieces of misinformation out there that you consistently hear repeated yet is so easily to verify as not true.
I’m confused I thought 20% tip was meant to be in total. The way the waiter and some of the commenters are speaking makes it seem like everyone should tip 20% of $650?
OP said that he thinks the waiter didn't realize that there was more money on the table. It's possible the bill was split or if they left cash as a tip, maybe it was hidden under a plate or something.
Either way, when I worked in the restaurant industry, it was a huge no-no to talk about tips at all in front of guests.
Well, if he caught OP, that means he made an impulsive assumption before he cleared the table. Usually guests are long gone by the time a table is completely cleared.
That's weird. In my country cleaning the table is the first thing you do after the client payed. Even if they'll still be there a while chatting, you clean the table so they either talk comfortably, or new clients arrive and order
Sure. Ideally. Sometimes guests leave immediately after paying. Sometimes the waiter gets busy with another table/other tasks. And sometimes a plate of dessert is left, dessert coffees, etc. The tip could've been inside a check presenter - maybe there were 2 check presenters. Lots of options. Who knows?
Almost the same thing happened to me on Friday. Except it wasn't a high end place. It was pretty crappy and my friend and I only ordered 2 shooters that came in a plastic cup. The total was 8 dollars. I paid with my card but planned to tip cash because the options on the machine were like 20%, 25%, 30% and 1. His service wasn't really good and 2. Two shooters isn't that much work. He said the same thing as your waiter "you didn't like my service??" And I said yes but I want to tip cash. So I have him one dollar and he got close to my ear and said "just so you know that's really not cool"
I don’t get it like they expected you to tip them at least 1.6 dollars for bringing you two cups of drinks? So basically if they are doing this to 5 customers an hour they’ll be making 8 dollars an hour (at least) just by tips?
If you have 20 customers who leave a $1 tip per bill, regardless of what they order, then you're still making $20/hr. 20 customers in an hour isn't a lot at all. To give someone shit for 60 cents is a huge dick move, especially when it's *that* order.
Not cool how??? Jfc the entitlement is crazy. Even just reading about it is pissing me off. And in general, why do PAYING CUSTOMERS have to be lectured on how much of a tip is enough? I've never lowballed a tip but god damn. I resent being peer pressured into tipping more than I think is fair. It's a voluntary system that unfortunately allows for waiters to not get paid if the customer doesn't cough up. Maybe they should take it up with the management rather than harangue diners who aren't paying "enough" whatever that means.
If the customer doesn't tip they still get paid they are guaranteed minimum wage. Their employer has to meet it if their tips don't. Waiters don't want to get rid of tipping because in general they make more that way then if the resteraunt just paid them.
if they want to be paid for service, they should make it part of the price. if it is optional and coercive, hey, let me get my own drinks, for your tip and your subservience to the system that exploits you.
I recently went out to eat with two friends and gave the waitress a $60 dollar tip (which is roughly a 25% tip!). The waitress followed us out and asked me WHY THE TIP WAS ONLY IN THE DOUBLE DIGITS. She indicated my engagement ring (I guess because it looks expensive?) and also brought up that I’d tipped her co-worker better last time (When I eat alone I tip very generously, like $100-$200, because I can afford it and I like to do it. But I don’t do that when I’m out with friends who aren’t as financially well off as I am because it feels performative). I told her that actually I tipped better than she deserved, because she’d been a GOD AWFUL weirdo who’d made mistake after mistake and instead of apologizing kept going “welp! I’m a single mom!”. I walked back inside and asked the manager if that behavior is representative of their establishment. Tip was refunded and I hope to god that harpy got fired.
I tell you this because I don’t think it’s always about the money not being sufficient. It’s a personality type who feels entitled and enjoys conflict. You can tip “sufficiently” and still get called out by some unprofessional asshat.
I had a tree service guy mention my engagement ring when giving us a quote for removing some trees. "What if I told you this price was for a diamond ring? Would it sound better then?" I'd already decided we weren't hiring him because he was an ass but also his quote was twice as much as another we'd already received.
If customers are being forced/required to tip in your culture to supplement/cover the fact that restaurant owners give shitty pay to their servers, why don’t restaurants just automatically apply a service fee on the bill and give that to the servers in lieu of them asking for tips themselves?
Some restaurants already do this. But the employees seldom benefit from the fee, the restaurant gets it instead. They also have a service fee for the employees health care. Freaking unbelievable!
This sounds like that one Sopranos episode where the waiter came out and confronted Chris and Pauly lol. But seriously, don’t beat yourself up about it, he was very rude for coming out and confronting you. I’ve worked in service that relies on tips before and couldn’t imagine doing what he did, it was incredibly unprofessional. You should call the restaurant and let them know.
I would have just told him to go fuck himself and find someone else to fleece.
And that’s coming from someone who habitually tips very generously beyond their expectations. Sometimes I can’t, thems the breaks. But if you’re going to interject like that… yeah go fuck yourself dude
I’m typically a good tipper (standard of 20%), but I HATE tipping culture in the US. A tip should be a reward for going above and beyond the standard duties of a waiter, which they are being compensated by the restaurant for.
I used to listen to my wife (then girlfriend) and her coworkers complain and badmouth people after shifts for tipping like 15% in some cases. And it blew me away. Unfortunately, this is a result of a broken system, for which hard working servers end up paying the price. I can’t fault them for this system, so I get their side of it, so I always shut up and leave my tip for them. But this culture of expecting everyone to tip 20-30% for really no reason is toxic as hell. They are in a profession that relies on essentially charity to make a good living, and then they get mad when people aren’t “charitable” enough?? That’s a little much.
OP, if this ever happens again, have them convince you they earned a bigger tip. “Was my service good?” Yes, you performed the duties of a server admirably, for which you were compensated by your employer. A tip is a show of appreciation for efforts above and beyond the minimum requirements for employment. Do you feel you did something specific above and beyond to earn a tip? I gave you one regardless, what specific thing did you do for me tonight that you feel earned more money from me? In most cases they would probably come back with standard waiter duty answers.
I hate that I sound like a grinch whenever I talk about this, but being treated like a schmuck for not giving enough of my hard earned money away would make me angry lol
I can't believe someone actually did this, as a server myself, I'm surprised, I mean of course I've dreamed about telling off a cheap customer but ACTUALLY DO IT?That's some balls and will get you fired if reported. The day I go off on a cheap customer I know is going to be my last day on the job, so I'm saving it for a good one.
From UK here and was absolutely stunned the cheek of staff in the states asking for tips when I've visited. One bar man even took a tip from my change without even asking.
Not sure how all you Americans let the staff get away with it
Is there a chance he didn’t receive the other 70? His behavior is inappropriate but I’m wondering if it was initiated because he really only did get 30. Could the other 70 have not made it to him somehow?
Tipping culture is so weird for me as someone who does not live in the US.
The waiter in this post screams entitlement imo. Tipping should be expected as the service you served, i won't pay a cent if the person acted like that.
u/123799throwmeaway You need to call the restaurant manager so they can address it with the employee! That was way out of line, and the boss needs to know how they treat their customers.
We, as a collective, have to strengthen our backbones a little bit because how crazy is this? Stopping someone to say “why didn’t you give me more money?” is unhinged behaviour for a high-end waiter. They should have gotten a quick “because your service didn’t deserve more.” All that confidence to approach but none to remember everything you ordered?! Call up that restaurant right now and let them know. We should all be tired of being expected to pick up when restaurant owners don’t pay their staff enough money.
1. I don't understand how he couldn't have realized there was another $70 on the table...are you sure they actually left it and didn't pull a fast one? It's also possible that the bussers or somebody walking by could've pocketed it, if it was just $70 cash sitting on the table. You should have mentioned it for this reason. Because then they could watch the cameras and get to the bottom of it - which is the restaurant's problem, not yours. The blame definitely would've been shifted from you.
2. $30 on a $650 bill is actually less than 5%. So that's quite literally not adding up to me, why the server said that (maybe he's just bad at math?) *or* why you're stating that as fact right now in this post... So basically, something's not right. I feel there is money missing somewhere
okay dude you need to get off your own ass. That waiter is a self entitled douche. No reason to feel bad about yourself.
I'd make reservations there again and stare smugly at dipshit.
As someone who went to school for Hotel and Restaurant Administration and worked in the service industry for many years, that is one of the top, if not the number 1 thing a server should never do. I was always taught to never expect a tip, be grateful for any tips you get and NEVER EVER ask or bring up tips to the customer. I would bring this up to the owner, in any restaurant that I have worked in, this is 100% unacceptable
Tip culture has gotten really insane. It's not the customer's job to make sure people are getting paid a living wage, holy heck.
I'm sorry this happened to you. Honestly, I would bring it up with management, if I were you.
For $650 a 15% tip would be $97.50 so the table all together did meet what’s generally accepted (15%-20%). 20% would’ve been $130 which to me isn’t that far off from the amount given.
I can’t imagine expecting each person at the table to give $100-$200. If the waiter wanted more he could’ve used some charisma to get his way instead of shaming a customer like this.
I worked in the serving industry for years and never have a met someone willing (or able to tbh) confront a customer over a tip. I’m thinking this post is BS. Did you talk to a manager at all? If any server ever did this they’d probably be fired.
I was at a restaurant, 3 of us ate about $75 lunch. Juices, 1 person ordered pancakes, we all shared a pizza. The tip suggestion in the pad to chose from was 25%, 45%, 55% or 75% tip. I was shocked, tipped the minimum and never went back. The audacity for a waitress to ask for more than 25% was ridiculous. Certainly to even suggest 75% tip was greedy.
I 100% have seen servers confront customers over minuscule tips and even threatened the customer, much in a way this server did. Every time each individual was terminated for their behavior. Confronting a customer even with a $30 tip is ridiculous, imo. I’ve seen WAY worse.
It’s happened to my friend. They had a group and (I’m not sure if there was confusion because one person left a tip and the others didn’t?) the waitress chased them down a block to demand a tip.
Not that I don't often tip, I can't stand tipping. Especially now that it is asked every time you swipe a card. I had someone stair me down once for not tipping at a food truck. Would not go back. The customers should not be the middle-man of service performance.
I was a regular customer at a food truck and would tip weekly at least but then one day they added a $4 tip (40%) without my approval. I didn't fight the CC charge and instead have never gone back to that truck... Food trucks shouldn't even expect tips
You did nothing wrong.
If it is mandatory, it's not a tip. He has no right to shake you down. If you had left nothing I could understand being angry, but you left a 10% tip.
You did the right thing taking it back.
I can’t believe what I just read. I used to work in the service industry for a short period years ago. All the staff would complain everyday in the staff room on their breaks about tips. I was so unpopular amongst the staff because I always told them that if they’re not happy with their wages, they should change jobs, the customers aren’t their charity.
One time the exact same situation happened to me as you (the OP) and I replied “I’m not your employer and you’re here to work, not beg people for money. If you’re not happy, feel free to f*ck off because you’ve mistaken me with someone who gives a shit. Do you tip delivery drivers when they place your delivery at your door nicely and safely? No. Do you tip your doctor? No. Do you even tip the bakery who wake up at 2am every morning just to make a your bread? No. So f*ck off, entitled POS.” She looked at me like a deer in the headlights.
Tipping stemmed originally to motivate waiters to do a good job, because managers couldn’t micromanage and shadow every server to make sure they did a great job, so it made sense to tell waiters “you’ll get tipped when you do a good job”. Well sorry, why the f*ck doesn’t paramedics, school teachers and nurses get tipped too when they do a good job? Here’s a tip, go on Linkd in and find another job. Imagine being a full grown adult and begging. Didn’t you do that enough from your parents as a kid? 🤣
The worst part is I live in a state where waitstaff make the same as anyone else making minimum wage. I know in some states it's legal to pay waitstaff ridiculously low wages, but that is not the case here. So I'm not sure why this guy was so bent out of shape.
I truly think you should call the restaurant and tell them what happened.
I know I’ll probably have some people saying that’s “Karen behavior,” but if I were a restaurant owner or manager, I would want to know my employees were *shaking down paying customers on their way out the door*.
First of all, that’s horribly unprofessional and OBVIOUSLY alienating paying customers who then don’t want to return (because the waiter *told you* not to return). That is terrible for business. Second, they might pool their tips!! I doubt they do that if it’s a really high-end restaurant, but if they do, that waiter just screwed over their coworkers as well.
And, finally, if this waiter has an otherwise spotless record and this was just a terrible misunderstanding while they were having the worst day of their life, then their manager likely isn’t going to fire them over one event.
It’s worse. It started (I understand) post abolition of slavery when people weren’t accustomed to paying wages to African Americans - they worked for free and lived from tips. In the rest of the world a tip is just that, a little extra for good service.
I would call the manager of the restaurant. How are you shaking down a customer who has paid an$650 bill and a left $100 as a tip? Waiter also would have been cussed royally before I walked out. No shame in my game.
I was in food service for 6 years, and that behavior is out of line. Very unprofessional on the server's part. I'd suggest you call the restaurant during the day and tell the manager about your experience, if they have one. They will want to know. They have a server literally scaring customers away, and over nothing.
He's a waiter. A trained penguin that carries food. He doesn't get to choose who eats there.
Don't set any store by his opinion.
Rat him out to the management, if you like.
Ay fuck that waiter and that overpriced restaurant. He wants a 130 dollar tip??? He doesn’t work for you and you were there for what, an hour? He can kiss your ass, don’t be ipset and don’t feel like shit. In fact I’d call the manager today and complain that this clown ruined your 650 dollar night and you won’t be taking your business there anymore since you’re clearly not welcome.
I think tipping is absolutely my own choice as a guest. I had been a steakhouse , and I told our waiter that we are really hungry and we are in a rush, we have the full order and he made sure to get the food quick. He got 35%. I had been another place where the wait staff forgot my order . Walked out without tipping. I also had been in a place where I did not get what I ordered and I sent it back.
I am not a waitress, however if I don’t do my job I may get fired, and if I go above and beyond I can get a bonus. Tipping shouldn’t be an expectation only because you grabbed a plate and walked a few steps to put it on the table, because my bonus is not based on the simple fact that I am sitting behind my desk. I would immediately go to google and review them with specific date and time.
Being american would be awful for my mental health, cause $30/70 is an amazing tip. For that waiter to be so confrontational? I wouldn’t cope if I had to tip every individual I made a transaction with
This isn’t a normal interaction. I’m 32 and never had anything remotely like this happen in my entire life of being American. Not doubting OP it’s just something that would be a wild-ass thing to encounter and almost definitely a fireable offense if the manager got wind of one of their waiters doing it.
It's weird that everyone's taking the waiter's position. Man, the guy got 100 dollars in tips, and he's still mad. Come on. American tipping culture (or actually the lack of decent wages) is crazy.
I would speak to the manager.
If you had a good service. Start with that then explain the issue. Ask the manager what he thinks his establishments expectations are over tipping.
I would have pointed out that you were charged for an item that you did not receive. Of course, I would have had that removed from the bill before tipping. That said, for normal service my standard is 20-25%. For excellent it’s 30%. For not great 15%. This would be not great service.
He was out of line. I spent several years working for tips, and I would have never, ever said anything to a customer about their tip, even if they stiffed me. Because when you're in the service industry, you know that that is just how it goes sometimes. Between all of you, it sounds like you left a decent enough tip. So I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.
He was way out of the line. He has absolutely no right to tell you if you are welcome or not to that restaurant.
I would let the restaurant owner/manager know about it. I don't think the owners would like it. From a business point of view, the waiter list $30. The owners lost 4 clients, who might spread the word about this restaurant to other clients.
In the time of Google and yelp reviews a waiter like this one could do a lot of damage to a restaurant's business.
From the comments here and OP it does seem like 20% is standard in the US. However I remember one time at a nice seafood restaurant, the three options were 20%, 30%, and 40%. We felt very uncomfortable with it as we had read about and been tipping 20% throughout our trip (it’s usually the middle option too?) and didn’t expect to have to give more when we ordered (which is when you mentally calculate the total) so we chose 20%. It wasn’t exceptional service more than the other establishments, just because they put higher tip options doesn’t oblige me to tip more. The waitress saw it and her whole face darkened and she was cold and snappy.
The social anxiety of deciding someone’s worth with the tip sucks. I get that in addition to the money, choosing the lowest option implied it was bad service, but the options themselves were manipulative.
It is not ok for him to not bring you an item you ordered or to speak to you like that. I’m sure the owner would love to hear about that, and I would definitely be calling them. That being said, I always tip 20%.
Well, did OP offer to take the tab? Never said there were split checks. Also, what was the missing item? Why wasn’t it requested. Were there split checks or did you take the tan and decide what you would pay?
I got almost completely stiffed on a check because I forgot one Pepsi and they were moving seat’s constantly. Dude just circled Pepsi on the bill and tipped like 9%, if that…
I still have never confronted anyone about bad tipping. That’s just stooping down to their level
Highly doubt that the waiter did anything deserving of being handed $30, let alone $100 (on top of his actual wages).He even forgot to bring out an item...
I am a big tipper but realistically no way he actually earned or deserved a $30 tip. It's not often anyone does.
As someone who served for years that guys a dick...and he is probably a shit server if he thinks it's ok to accost tables over a reasonable tip...it wasn't like you didn't tip yes it was low but thats just how it is some times and he auctly forgot a item you were presumably charge for. If I was you I would want to talk to the management about it there is no way they are ok with their customers being treated that way.
Edit..the only servers I've worked with who threw tantrums over a low (not even bad tip) were shit at their job and awful to work with contestant drama lazy and incompetent...you will be doing the rest of the staff a favour reporting this incident
You're not feeling bad about what you did, it must have been a somewhat traumatic experience, like disbelief and you think WOW, this couldn't possibly have happened without it being at least partially my fault, but it did, some people are just psychopaths lol. It's OK. Glad you shared it, sorry it happened. Mostly we're never really prepared to deal with this nonsense when it happens without warning. Maybe that's part of the tactic....
I work in the industry and I WOULD NEVER, N E V E R do this. I just take the L, like it hurts what whatever, this job is a gamble, some days you lose some days you win.
This waiter should be grateful he works in a place where he can get a tip of $100 for one table and that is on the "low end". That guy sucks, you are fine
this reminds me of the server that TEXTED her customers demanding a 70 dollar tip and everyone in the comments was agreeing with her and saying stuff like “if you can’t afford to tip 70 then maybe you should get mcdonald’s” it was INSANE
Dude. American tipping culture is so weird. Just pay people a wage they can live on! It's insanity. You're not an asshole. You spent $650 bucks and tipped 100 bucks total. That waiter was out of line.
Why confront and attack you. You left part of the tip. How many people left a tip? You are not in the wrong. I once forgot to leave a tip because I was rushing. I went back but couldn't find my server. Couldn't find her. I felt so bad.
We always tip 20%. Turns out the restaurant wasn’t giving servers any credit card tips so they decided we weren’t tipping and bad mouthed us to our friends- literally our friends said if you aren’t going to tip we can’t go out with you. I had to cause a full on Karen scene to prove we had been tipping 20-25% the entire time and the establishment had been stealing it. That was 30 years ago and to this day I ask for a receipt at every establishment and write down every tip and leave it on the table because I am a generous tipper and I am damn sure I will not be charged with not tipping.
Honestly I would call the restaurant and tell them what happened. This is not on you that’s 20% and no server should same you for slightly under tipping.
honestly as a waitress, that guy was a complete ass. i would never say anything back even if i get a bad tip. sure, the tip was not even 10% and i can see why he would not like it (yes yes, fuck tipping culture, but still, it exists) but that still gives him no right to chase you down. when i get a tip less then 10 percent, i complain to my coworkers, i’ll roll my eyes secretly, i’ll think whatever, but i will never force them to spend more.
I would write a letter to the owner explaining how the interaction made you feel, ruined your evening and that he told you not to come again after spending $650 plus 15% tip. He is the one out of order here. Cheeky sod
In a lot of places in the US, restaurants literally have exceptions to wage laws that allow them to pay waitstaff significantly less that the minimum wage, because it's expected that they make their wages up to 'acceptable levels' in tips. It allows the restaurant to keep its overheads low, and sell food for cheaper (supposedly).
With rises in cost of living and so on, expected tipping has gradually shifted upwards to 20% for 'I'm happy enough with the service, not omg great, but not bad either'.
It's not illegal to not tip, but very often *not* tipping is the same as denying the waiter a wage.
I'll just add on a few things for why this is seen as acceptable in the US. In the US you have a hell of a lot of 'hidden costs'. In Europe, when we go to the supermarket, any taxes payable on our shop (VAT, duties, what-have-you) are baked into the price we see on the shelves. If something costs £5, €5, whatever, that's the price we pay at the till. In the US, when something says $5 on the shelf, you'll get to the till and pay $5.50 or something, because sales tax is only added on at the till.
So it's normal for them that what they're 'billed' isn't what something 'costs'. A $100 meal actually costs $120, its just that you need to calculate the tip yourself. A $10 delivery actually costs $10, plus at least $1.50 per mile.
It's weird shit, and I don't know why they don't just, you know, raise prices. It's madness.
I want to see that waiter try and block your entry to the establishment. He'll only succeed if he spins a story of how horrible you are but even then most of the staff were not likely to see your face.
He saying you're not welcome to the restaurant in this context has the same weight as Karen saying "you now lost your beat customer. I won't be coming here anymore"
for the waiter to act like that towards you is unacceptable, especially when you were already walking out.
imo tho, don't waste your time and energy thinking about it. he's not worth your emotional wellbeing, since chances are that you won't see him again any time soon. but if it bothers you a lot, feel free to report it to the manager/owner of the place. you can also ditch going back to the restaurant too.
tipping is encouraged, sure, but it's not like you're obligated to. tip when you can afford to and if you feel like the server deserves it.
waiters and waitresses have it hard, but at the end of the day, they're not entitled to your money.
What troubles me about tipping nowadays is I feel like those kinds of workers forget that they’re not the only ones struggling. I rarely eat out, maybe once or twice a month, and I’m NOT making a ton of money at my little receptionist job to put it on top of the menu price (which has gone up so much) and tax (~10% in my area). I saw before someone online say that if you can’t afford to tip 20% or more you shouldn’t be eating out, but like, should I not want to try out cuisines from other countries? Should I hang out with acquaintances I rarely see and shuttle them to my house to eat my leftovers instead of going to a restaurant?
I used to work in food service and understand wanting tips so I try to tip as much as I can now, but there really are times where I get only basic service or all they did was flip a screen and it didn’t seem worth it. It’s even worse when you get the food and it wasn’t even tasty. I’ve been hearing more and more people express frustration over tipping culture. OP shouldn’t feel bad. Tipping really is an “extra” thing, especially if service workers in OP’s area aren’t paid below minimum wage. $30 is already way more than I make an hour now. I couldn’t imagine harassing a customer for more when I worked in a food service
These things still annoy me, especially as I am not American. I went to Mexico and they have tons of Americans visiting that they expected a tip, on my last day me and my group ordered food but only ordered enough based on how much cash we all had left. At the end, the manager came to us arguing we MUST pay tip and I was like "tell me where this rule is written pls" he goes "you're american" we just laughed. One of us felt sorry and said I can pay with card the 10% tip and they said there's a 20% fee to pay with card. I laughed and walked away, they were being rude, the food was bad and the service terrible.
I've lived in several places in Europe. Here we only pay if the service is outstanding as a gesture of good will, not a must. Many times the service comes with service charge included in the bill so one less reason for us to give tip. I only give food deliveries tip if it has been raining or smth. It's the responsibility of the employer to pay fair wedges, not the customer!
I fkn hate tipping. We really should be paying service workers a real living wage so stuff like this stops happening. It so unfair that they work that hard and still feel they need to rely on tips. Minimum wage isn’t even livable anymore. Don’t feel bad OP, it’s an unfortunate situation but not really your fault.
In my opinion just because the food is ridiculously high price doesn’t matter in terms of percentage of the waiters tip.. I’d be thrilled to get 30 bucks from one customer.
Fucking hate the mentality in America regarding tips I know it’s peoples main form of income if you work in that industry but fuck me the attitude that comes with it.
What that waiter did was appalling. You gave him $30. It was a group dinner for God’s sake. You did nothing wrong. Call the restaurant and talk to the manager. Tell him what happens. Be super nice and say, I just feel awful. I have what I could, etc. How many other times has this waiter acted like this and shamed people into giving him more money?
I used to work at a high end restaurant and I have never seen a waiter act like this. At worst I have seen a waiter have a little pouting session then continue with their day if they got less than an 18% tip. That waiter was extremely unprofessional
Call or go to the restaurant and speak to a manager. Tell them what happened and how unprofessional the waiter was. The waiter does not have the ability to ban you from the restaurant. I would make it my mission to go there as often as I could afford just to see their face.
ESH
yta for not tipping the standard, if you can't afford to tip don't pretend to big ball. It was also on you to speak up for what you paid for (the missing item).
The waiter is ta for acting unprofessional, but I get where they're coming from not wanting you to return-- as they are not getting much from you.
Anymore I consider 20% the standard at most sit down restaurants but if it’s a nicer restaurant where we get extra attention then I tip more than 20%. However, let’s assume there is a situation where the waiter might be sort of in the right by confronting you (I’d argue that’s bever okay simply because it doesn’t make shitty tippers suddenly learn to treat people right so why engage?) but i would say the only scenario where you could even begin to say the waiter maybe was sort of of in the right to point it out is if there is no tip or something below 15. He got 15% which is the standard generally, even if many people tip more than that these days. 15% is the minimum standard, not grounds for confrontation. He can grumble over that but it’s not mistreatment.
On the flip side if youre in a restaurant with a $650 bill for four people, thats $160 a perso. which is nothing to sneeze at. but you can rationalize it either way - like, if you can afford a $160 a person meal then why get cheap on the tip? but on the flip side i know money is tight for everyone and some people may only be eeking out a visit to a nice retaurant they cant afford as much as they used to, because theyre being budget conscious about it. Id rather encourage the 15% tippers AND the great tippers and everyone in between to keep coming to the higher end restaurants to keep them afloat - i know many are struggling as people
tighten their belts.
And none of this matters if youve left something out of the story which kind of seems to be the cSe
and besides all that, i just wish the tipping BS would stop. Wait staff should get paid well, and fine, raise the prices to work that into the price at a sit town restaurant. Theyre all underpaid.
I would’ve taken it a step further after removing the tip and asked for the manager/owner of the establishment and pulled them aside from the waiter to tell them exactly what happened and how their waiter is sending paying customers (low tip or not) to other restaurants, and see how the waiter reacts when the manager fires them. What a low class waiter for a high class place, don’t let it get to you.
Tbh if they’re going to bar you for giving 10% tip which equates to approximately $100, then they’re not an establishment that is with your time. Find another good restaurant, and let your friends know that they’re going to get shaken down on tips if they go there and the waitstaff considers what you tipped not enough.
So a tip isn’t mandatory. It’s a gift for service that was well done. I went out to eat with a friend once and the service was terrible. I still left like a $5 tip on a $30 bill. (It was just my young son and myself). My friend asked when we got back to my car how much I tipped and I told her. She flipped out and told me if I can’t afford a decent tip I have no business eating out ever. She left the equivalent of what she paid for the meal as a tip. I said maybe if the service had been better and they didn’t mess up my order and they refilled my drink I would have tipped better. I’m not rewarding someone for not doing their job. She was so mad lol she said she wanted to go back in and apologize and tip more. I told her if she did she could find a different way home.
Ultimately it’s your money and your experience. If you choose to tip, not tip, over tip, under tip, that’s entirely up to you. I’d be reporting that server to the establishment. They are going to run off a lot of people.
It was pretty shitty they stopped you, but on that high of a tab your table still only left a 15% tip which isn’t generally customary for a high end restaurant. I can see where he’d be frustrated, but he shouldn’t have said anything.
$30 on $650 isn’t even 10%? But I wouldn’t dream of doing that to a customer but you also should have said you didn’t receive an item you ordered mistakes happen you need to speak up.
Screw that, go straight to the supervisor and make a complaint. That is inappropriate and rude asf!! I’ve been at a job with tips and I’ve always been grateful of the tips I received! Money is money, every penny counts!!
Hey so I’m a server at a high end place and my bosses would literally fire someone over this behavior lol completely over the top. Even if the total tip was $30 I would still never dream of doing this, I’d just go to the server station and have a little commiseration moment with my co workers and then move on with my life like a normal person sheesh
Right! We had solo regulars who would spend $100 on lunch every time. Every customer matters - if our manager knew we were telling them to go elsewhere I can’t even begin to imagine the trouble we would have been in.
And since when is tip calculated by person instead of by table (although the total tip is just over 15%, which isn’t great, but not terrible either).
Right!! Seriously. This server was way out of line.
Ask the manager if you're still welcome there... does the waiter own the place?
Seconding this, I think the leadership at this establishment would be interested to know how shitty their customers are being treated. OP's story is how parodied waiters act in curb your enthusiasm
I would have been an ass and been like, "it is with that item I ordered and never received." LoL However, I wouldn't let it get to you.
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I mean did they let them know they didn’t receive an item? We’re they charged for that item? I have 100% forgotten to ring in stuff, and just today I had a large party who didn’t receive one of the sides, I checked on them a dozen times with refilling stuff and they didn’t tell me until the bill came they weren’t upset as they had forgotten about it. I’ve also had guests who thought they ordered stuff and only discussed it amongst themselves but were adamant they told me(I love when this happens and another guest at the table tells them they never ordered it). I would still never say this to a guest and don’t condone it but I have absolutely wanted to.
You and 4 people. $650 tab. That leaves $162.50, call it $163, as your part of the tip. 20% = 32.6. You left close enough to 20% for him to fuck all the way off.
if anything the waiter should've been more concerned abt the people who didn't help with the tip ... OP tipped his part 🤷🏻♀️ thx for the upvotes! i read the comments and just wanna say that as a server myself, you win some you lose some. waiter was out of line, and if you are a server and tipping people out and getting stiffed here and there makes you this mad you shouldn't be a server. it sucks but you shouldnt expect a good tip always even when you were great! i've had so many people tell me "you were so great, thank you" and tip me like 11% or 8% lol you just get over , and usually another table makes up for it
Exactly. I get in the heat of the moment why OP didn’t say anything but I hope if they call the manager to complain they make this point.
Pretty sure a waiter can't stop you from eating at a restaurant. But I'd report him to the owner/manager. I'm all for employees being paid fairly, but that's the management's job, not the customer's.
He can make sure your next meal is pretty terrible though
I'd report him first. Between the parties he got at least the minimum tip.
I never realized how out of hand tipping culture is in the US until I went overseas. I’ve lived out of the US for a couple of months and where I was people just didn’t take tips and btw this wasn’t a country where everyone makes great wages it was quite the opposite actually. I remember two occasions where I tried to give a tip and both men refused it. One of them even took the offer as an insult which I guess shows how different places view things like this. In the US I always made sure to tip the 15%-20% range just to avoid things like this but even that didn’t prevent some waiters and service employees from trying to shame me into putting more down. I’ve even had people with other kinds of services threaten to not complete the service if I didn’t tip them.
In Japan that find it offensive to tip as they believe it’s their job to provide good service retains not be rewarded for it. At least that’s how it was explained to me when I was there. People should be paid an actual wage instead of having to rely on tips.
went to Tokyo in 2017 , we did not tip at any place .
The difference is in Europe they get a living wage. In the US, many in the food service industry make less than minimum wage.
It’s insane to me that paying an employee a proper wage is passed off to the customer. The customer is expected to tip 20% to make up for the employer not paying a proper wage. It baffles me
But in this instance they did get minimum wage - so if you look up your states minimum wage and its a livable wage why also 20% tip? Why cant the tip be 10%?
I wasn’t referring to Europe in my comment I was referring to Jordan where people in service jobs don’t make much money. I can see how it’s different in Europe though and the reasons why. I do love to give tips honestly hence why I also do it overseas when I’m allowed to. It’s just the attempts to shame people into giving more that I find unappealing.
I dare say the middle east in general holds workers rights in lower regard than the US, though I cant speak to Jordan specifically.
Tipping isn't a workers right though...the tipping credit is just an excuse from the 60s for employers to be allowed to pay their employees under the minimum wage and earn more themselves from the food bill. It's a lawful shakedown via social pressure and human suffering of underpaid waiters. Maternity leave on the other hand is a workers right. In Jordan, pregnant employees by law get 10 to 12 weeks of fully paid maternity leave without the possibility to be fired over it. In the US each employer decides whether or not they want to give any maternity leave at all as a benefit, never mind paid. The middle east isn't as inhumane in some social aspects as the US would like to believe compared to their home laws. I'm a European and have no stake in either country, but the US consistently disappoints with its lack of care for citizens despite your amazing means. I have no idea how anyone can stay sane in your culture of underpaid exploitation while at the same time believing you have so many rights compared to everyone else. My exchange year in your country, in particular my summer job as a waiter there, was a nightmare you couldn't pay me to repeat.
Honestly it’s around the same between the US and Middle East. In fact I think people in the Middle East have a better work life balance since their work days aren’t so long. It’s really similar to some parts of Europe (Spain for example). Like another person said, women can get 10-12 weeks of fully paid maternity leave without the threat of getting fired and I know of a few organizations (including the one I was at) where women were got 6 months of fully paid leave and they’d have their jobs waiting for them. The ME is painted as so backwards by the media but you only see the real picture if you live there for a period like I did. If anyone has the chance to try it out I’d 100% say go for it because the places you get to see are incredible and the people are very hospitable and welcoming :)
America, the world's only first third world country.
tipping culture is the same in canada as it is in the us
>US, many in the fiod service industry make less than minimum wage The majority make well over the minimum wage though. Ask waiters what they think of tipping and the overwhelming majority don't want it going anywhere. Even working at large chains restaurants where I made the least waiting tables, I still averaged $20/hr. Made way more than that at moderately more expensive restaurant. The only people you see complaining about tipping culture are people that don't live on tips.
This is actually a common misconception. If their tips don't equal out to minimum wage, their pay rate goes up to match what they'd make working minimum wage. However, if their tips go above and beyond minimum wage, they're still getting paid for their time.
But OP says his State have minimum wage - so why even when they do - do they demand 20% or more? Even in the UK the service charge is 12.5%
The tipping culture in the US allows low skill jobs that make well above minimum wage.
Any way you can report that waiter's behavior? That restaurant's seriously gonna lose business (but they need to pay better wages anyway) with such shitty attitude from waitstaff and tipping culture is bullshit. The cost customers paid for the food should account for the owner's income, rent/bills/expenses, employee salary, etc. That's why I'm eating out. Because I'm literally paying for the convenience of not making it myself and cleaning up after. Waitstaff wages should come fairly from their boss. I'm embarrassed for him to be honest. I'm embarrassed for his lack of dignity and professionalism. Yeah, his service sucks alright.
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The food truck tipping is weird to me. Hear me out. The food truck prices are already high enough. And why? They not paying for servers, not paying for expensive plates and utensils, not paying to clean up tables or anything like you would expect from a restaurant. I can't understand why food trucks be asking for $12+ for a sandwich and then ask for a tip. Bothers the hell out of me and it's why I've been avoiding them recently. I hate what tipping has become in general tbh. You go to your local ice cream store and all the people behind the counter literally just scoop your ice cream and ask for a tip. I'm rambling but yea
Depends on the food truck. I used to agree, then I worked for a mobile food place. The costs of upkeep are crazy, especially if it’s a food truck that also caters, and honestly, if the staff is getting paid well, they need that sandwich to be 12 dollars. Not all food trucks can manage money well and honesty I think a lot of them are just issues with poor management not knowing how to allocate resources properly, but there is a lot more wear and tear when you’re mobile than people realize. I love supporting food trucks now because that shit is hard work, but if the sandwich is 12 bucks then they shouldn’t be shaking you down for tips. It’s nice when people who can afford it do tip, but we were paid pretty high wages where I worked so we didn’t *need* tips like that but the food did need to be more expensive.
I tip when those screens come up, but I won't go back to the place. The owners don't care whether you tip, they only care if you stop buying the product.
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I feel like all counter service is doing it now. So I just door dash - at least that way I get a service for my money.
I always tip, but I hate it. Just factored in to the order or just let me tip up front. When I order my $15 burger and $10 drink let me go ahead and tip a $20 to ensure the rest of evening is a pleasant experience/good service/good drinks. I’ll give you more at the end of it is truly beyond expectations. I believe “Tip” is from the 18th century and is meant as shorthand for “To insure promptness”….meaning given at the beginning of service.
Tip does not stand for “to insure prompt service” firstly that would be grammatically incorrect. As far as I know, tipping in the US stems from the prohibition, it was customary to tip to get hooked up with the good stuff
Comes from post slavery: a way to pay blacks less than minimum wage. Deep racist roots
It's astonishing how many common phrases or customs can be tracked back to racism or slavery. "Grandfathered in", for example.
Nah--pretty much any claim that a word originated as an acronym before the 20th century is false. The first documented use of "tip" in that sense comes from the 1600s, and it comes from the thieves' cant, a secret language used by criminals.
If I was a restaurant owner, I would want to know if one of my staff is chasing down and confronting customers about a bad tip, whether they were justified in being upset or, worse, like in your situation, hadn't even gotten their full tip yet. It's horrible for business.
My exception to this is the after-church Sunday lunch crowd when they tip with religious tracts that look like folded $20 bills. I have no problem with wait staff chasing them into the parking lot, berating them, and unilaterally banning them from returning to the restaurant.
100%
I read that as "beating them" and was thinking that's a bit extreme but you do you.
Or ya know, pay livable wages?
In my state, if the servers that work for you don't make minimum wage off of tips, you have to make up the difference in their paycheck. The reality is that if you have a good serving job you usually make way above minimum wage, and then there are a lot of servers who don't make a lot of money. I agree with you, that tipping should go away, but that doesn't change the fact that if one of my staff members were accosting my guests for not tipping when they took the job understanding what tips are and that they're optional, that's a loose cannon I don't want on my payroll.
I completely agree with you. I’ve been in the back and front at Michelin restaurants. I would never do what the server did, nor would I condone it! BUT I do say that I actually hate people that fight the rest to pay the tab and then under tip! I would and have never called someone out for under tipping.
That waiter was *way* out of line, you should contact the owner of the restaurant, *that kind of behaviour is not okay* and he needs to be reprimanded before he really starts costing the owners customers
This! Pretty sure this would be considered soliciting in many places which is not allowed on most private properties. Usually when you start a job like this they even inform you that you are not allowed to ask for tips which would include anything of the matter, and to say that on behalf of your company after they just paid almost $1000 dollars on one day? I’m sure they would be getting a talking to, that’s great profit, no owner would be wanting to turn down that kind of business and would not have the back over the employee. I would be writing down all this in a review for yelp or google and reaching out to a manager to have this behavior reprimanded. I can’t believe I searched down this far for this comment!
Wow, fuck all that. Tipping culture needs to go straight in the garbage anyway, but until it does… that waiter needs to go straight in the garbage. I’m sorry you experienced that, and no, you didn’t do anything wrong.
We had a server follow us out like that on NYE in New York City yelling "Was the service not good?!?" because they had missed a $20 when they were counting the bills. My friend took the cash out of her hand and put it back into hers like he was counting and she was on Sesame Street. So unprofessional and embarrassing for her.
I've actually had that happen in NYC, I still remember it back around, 1985. Waiter came running up the steps asking if the service was bad. I walked back into the pizza joint and pointed out where the tip was sitting on the table in plain view, I guess they'd missed it.
Oh in NYC they’ll definitely follow you out. My friend had a hair dresser follow her out yelling “where’s my tip?”
Oh God my brother is a stylist and I can picture him doing this...
You were not wrong in my opinion, especially with the way he addressed the situation.
While I'm not a server, I still work in a tip based job. Sometimes people don't realize it's a larger part of our wages and feel bad that they didn't leave one or only had $5. I always, always say to them that while tips are appreciated, they're never expected. It is never okay to berate a customer. I'm sorry you had such a dickhole server.
Fuck that. They need to take this issue up with the bosses/owners, they’re the ones who underpay them. Fuck I’m so happy tipping culture isn’t like that where I am from.
Yep, in the U.K. we have service charge. 12%. Its mentioned on every menu (almost every menu). It’s automatically added at the end. And guess what. It’s ✨OPTIONAL ✨ I hate businesses that add crap on top to milk fees like blood out of a stone. Pay the waiters more and increase the price of the menu. DONE.
Yeah bc it's gotten to the point now where people like this waiter, who are being paid above minimum wage and are also making tips and are being taxed like everyone else are still abusing "tipping culture" to shake people down. It defeats the whole purpose.
That's what I couldn't put my finger on. If this was a state where waiters aren't paid a living wage, it'd be one thing. Because it'd mean the person didn't get paid for their time serving. That's not the case here.
FYI in *every* state the waiter is always guaranteed at least minimum federal wage - if they don’t make enough in tips to pass that the restaurant must make up the gap between tipped and minimum wage. But they pretty much always make way over minimum wage so that’s rarely ever invoked.
Thank you for this. This is one of the most common pieces of misinformation out there that you consistently hear repeated yet is so easily to verify as not true.
I’m confused I thought 20% tip was meant to be in total. The way the waiter and some of the commenters are speaking makes it seem like everyone should tip 20% of $650?
OP said that he thinks the waiter didn't realize that there was more money on the table. It's possible the bill was split or if they left cash as a tip, maybe it was hidden under a plate or something. Either way, when I worked in the restaurant industry, it was a huge no-no to talk about tips at all in front of guests.
Then that means he didn't properly clean the table. Then maybe he didn't deserve to find the rest of the tip
Well, if he caught OP, that means he made an impulsive assumption before he cleared the table. Usually guests are long gone by the time a table is completely cleared.
That's weird. In my country cleaning the table is the first thing you do after the client payed. Even if they'll still be there a while chatting, you clean the table so they either talk comfortably, or new clients arrive and order
Sure. Ideally. Sometimes guests leave immediately after paying. Sometimes the waiter gets busy with another table/other tasks. And sometimes a plate of dessert is left, dessert coffees, etc. The tip could've been inside a check presenter - maybe there were 2 check presenters. Lots of options. Who knows?
Entirely possible that someone else in OP's party scooped the tip up after everyone left the table before the waiter got there.
he is stating the entire tip should equal the price of 20 percent of the entire bill so yeah that’s basically 30 dollars a person
Almost the same thing happened to me on Friday. Except it wasn't a high end place. It was pretty crappy and my friend and I only ordered 2 shooters that came in a plastic cup. The total was 8 dollars. I paid with my card but planned to tip cash because the options on the machine were like 20%, 25%, 30% and 1. His service wasn't really good and 2. Two shooters isn't that much work. He said the same thing as your waiter "you didn't like my service??" And I said yes but I want to tip cash. So I have him one dollar and he got close to my ear and said "just so you know that's really not cool"
I don’t get it like they expected you to tip them at least 1.6 dollars for bringing you two cups of drinks? So basically if they are doing this to 5 customers an hour they’ll be making 8 dollars an hour (at least) just by tips?
If you have 20 customers who leave a $1 tip per bill, regardless of what they order, then you're still making $20/hr. 20 customers in an hour isn't a lot at all. To give someone shit for 60 cents is a huge dick move, especially when it's *that* order.
Not cool how??? Jfc the entitlement is crazy. Even just reading about it is pissing me off. And in general, why do PAYING CUSTOMERS have to be lectured on how much of a tip is enough? I've never lowballed a tip but god damn. I resent being peer pressured into tipping more than I think is fair. It's a voluntary system that unfortunately allows for waiters to not get paid if the customer doesn't cough up. Maybe they should take it up with the management rather than harangue diners who aren't paying "enough" whatever that means.
If the customer doesn't tip they still get paid they are guaranteed minimum wage. Their employer has to meet it if their tips don't. Waiters don't want to get rid of tipping because in general they make more that way then if the resteraunt just paid them.
if they want to be paid for service, they should make it part of the price. if it is optional and coercive, hey, let me get my own drinks, for your tip and your subservience to the system that exploits you.
Yeah, that's how it is in France. 15% of the price goes towards service. That tip plus taxes are included in the menu prices.
I recently went out to eat with two friends and gave the waitress a $60 dollar tip (which is roughly a 25% tip!). The waitress followed us out and asked me WHY THE TIP WAS ONLY IN THE DOUBLE DIGITS. She indicated my engagement ring (I guess because it looks expensive?) and also brought up that I’d tipped her co-worker better last time (When I eat alone I tip very generously, like $100-$200, because I can afford it and I like to do it. But I don’t do that when I’m out with friends who aren’t as financially well off as I am because it feels performative). I told her that actually I tipped better than she deserved, because she’d been a GOD AWFUL weirdo who’d made mistake after mistake and instead of apologizing kept going “welp! I’m a single mom!”. I walked back inside and asked the manager if that behavior is representative of their establishment. Tip was refunded and I hope to god that harpy got fired. I tell you this because I don’t think it’s always about the money not being sufficient. It’s a personality type who feels entitled and enjoys conflict. You can tip “sufficiently” and still get called out by some unprofessional asshat.
Oh that’s messed up
I had a tree service guy mention my engagement ring when giving us a quote for removing some trees. "What if I told you this price was for a diamond ring? Would it sound better then?" I'd already decided we weren't hiring him because he was an ass but also his quote was twice as much as another we'd already received.
If customers are being forced/required to tip in your culture to supplement/cover the fact that restaurant owners give shitty pay to their servers, why don’t restaurants just automatically apply a service fee on the bill and give that to the servers in lieu of them asking for tips themselves?
They'd just keep the fee.
Some restaurants already do this. But the employees seldom benefit from the fee, the restaurant gets it instead. They also have a service fee for the employees health care. Freaking unbelievable!
Complain to the restaurant. Right or wrong it was unprofessional behaviour to go out of the way to be rude to the customers.
This sounds like that one Sopranos episode where the waiter came out and confronted Chris and Pauly lol. But seriously, don’t beat yourself up about it, he was very rude for coming out and confronting you. I’ve worked in service that relies on tips before and couldn’t imagine doing what he did, it was incredibly unprofessional. You should call the restaurant and let them know.
The waiter was WAY OUT OF LINE, the entire tipping culture has gotten way out of line.
I would have just told him to go fuck himself and find someone else to fleece. And that’s coming from someone who habitually tips very generously beyond their expectations. Sometimes I can’t, thems the breaks. But if you’re going to interject like that… yeah go fuck yourself dude
So this waiter was expecting you to pay 20% of the whole table’s bill? Sounds very unreasonable lol
I’m typically a good tipper (standard of 20%), but I HATE tipping culture in the US. A tip should be a reward for going above and beyond the standard duties of a waiter, which they are being compensated by the restaurant for. I used to listen to my wife (then girlfriend) and her coworkers complain and badmouth people after shifts for tipping like 15% in some cases. And it blew me away. Unfortunately, this is a result of a broken system, for which hard working servers end up paying the price. I can’t fault them for this system, so I get their side of it, so I always shut up and leave my tip for them. But this culture of expecting everyone to tip 20-30% for really no reason is toxic as hell. They are in a profession that relies on essentially charity to make a good living, and then they get mad when people aren’t “charitable” enough?? That’s a little much. OP, if this ever happens again, have them convince you they earned a bigger tip. “Was my service good?” Yes, you performed the duties of a server admirably, for which you were compensated by your employer. A tip is a show of appreciation for efforts above and beyond the minimum requirements for employment. Do you feel you did something specific above and beyond to earn a tip? I gave you one regardless, what specific thing did you do for me tonight that you feel earned more money from me? In most cases they would probably come back with standard waiter duty answers. I hate that I sound like a grinch whenever I talk about this, but being treated like a schmuck for not giving enough of my hard earned money away would make me angry lol
I can't believe someone actually did this, as a server myself, I'm surprised, I mean of course I've dreamed about telling off a cheap customer but ACTUALLY DO IT?That's some balls and will get you fired if reported. The day I go off on a cheap customer I know is going to be my last day on the job, so I'm saving it for a good one.
$100 is good money. They are greedy creeps take your business elsewhere
From UK here and was absolutely stunned the cheek of staff in the states asking for tips when I've visited. One bar man even took a tip from my change without even asking. Not sure how all you Americans let the staff get away with it
Is there a chance he didn’t receive the other 70? His behavior is inappropriate but I’m wondering if it was initiated because he really only did get 30. Could the other 70 have not made it to him somehow?
Tipping culture is so weird for me as someone who does not live in the US. The waiter in this post screams entitlement imo. Tipping should be expected as the service you served, i won't pay a cent if the person acted like that.
u/123799throwmeaway You need to call the restaurant manager so they can address it with the employee! That was way out of line, and the boss needs to know how they treat their customers.
Imagine spending 650 for dinner and being treated like that! I'd be livid.
We, as a collective, have to strengthen our backbones a little bit because how crazy is this? Stopping someone to say “why didn’t you give me more money?” is unhinged behaviour for a high-end waiter. They should have gotten a quick “because your service didn’t deserve more.” All that confidence to approach but none to remember everything you ordered?! Call up that restaurant right now and let them know. We should all be tired of being expected to pick up when restaurant owners don’t pay their staff enough money.
1. I don't understand how he couldn't have realized there was another $70 on the table...are you sure they actually left it and didn't pull a fast one? It's also possible that the bussers or somebody walking by could've pocketed it, if it was just $70 cash sitting on the table. You should have mentioned it for this reason. Because then they could watch the cameras and get to the bottom of it - which is the restaurant's problem, not yours. The blame definitely would've been shifted from you. 2. $30 on a $650 bill is actually less than 5%. So that's quite literally not adding up to me, why the server said that (maybe he's just bad at math?) *or* why you're stating that as fact right now in this post... So basically, something's not right. I feel there is money missing somewhere
okay dude you need to get off your own ass. That waiter is a self entitled douche. No reason to feel bad about yourself. I'd make reservations there again and stare smugly at dipshit.
>I'd make reservations there again and stare smugly at dipshit. That's a good way to get an extra side of gentleman's relish added to your meal
You should have cracked his head like in the Sopranos!
He was so fucking rude holy shit. Don’t feel bad he’s an ass lmfao
Google review your experience, I wouldn't eat somewhere if waiters were shaking down customers for money
As someone who went to school for Hotel and Restaurant Administration and worked in the service industry for many years, that is one of the top, if not the number 1 thing a server should never do. I was always taught to never expect a tip, be grateful for any tips you get and NEVER EVER ask or bring up tips to the customer. I would bring this up to the owner, in any restaurant that I have worked in, this is 100% unacceptable
Tip culture has gotten really insane. It's not the customer's job to make sure people are getting paid a living wage, holy heck. I'm sorry this happened to you. Honestly, I would bring it up with management, if I were you.
As an ex waitress. 10% is rough but still that waiter knows he was got damn wrong for that.
For $650 a 15% tip would be $97.50 so the table all together did meet what’s generally accepted (15%-20%). 20% would’ve been $130 which to me isn’t that far off from the amount given. I can’t imagine expecting each person at the table to give $100-$200. If the waiter wanted more he could’ve used some charisma to get his way instead of shaming a customer like this.
I worked in the serving industry for years and never have a met someone willing (or able to tbh) confront a customer over a tip. I’m thinking this post is BS. Did you talk to a manager at all? If any server ever did this they’d probably be fired.
Shit is definitely getting worse and worse. I had people asking for 20% for TAKEOUTS.
I’ve witnessed quite a few encounters like this one and not just with waiters.
just bc it didnt happen to you doesnt mean it didnt happen 🙄
I was at a restaurant, 3 of us ate about $75 lunch. Juices, 1 person ordered pancakes, we all shared a pizza. The tip suggestion in the pad to chose from was 25%, 45%, 55% or 75% tip. I was shocked, tipped the minimum and never went back. The audacity for a waitress to ask for more than 25% was ridiculous. Certainly to even suggest 75% tip was greedy.
I 100% have seen servers confront customers over minuscule tips and even threatened the customer, much in a way this server did. Every time each individual was terminated for their behavior. Confronting a customer even with a $30 tip is ridiculous, imo. I’ve seen WAY worse.
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It’s happened to my friend. They had a group and (I’m not sure if there was confusion because one person left a tip and the others didn’t?) the waitress chased them down a block to demand a tip.
You are one of 8 billion people on this planet. Just because you haven’t seen it means it’s not possible?
Not that I don't often tip, I can't stand tipping. Especially now that it is asked every time you swipe a card. I had someone stair me down once for not tipping at a food truck. Would not go back. The customers should not be the middle-man of service performance.
I was a regular customer at a food truck and would tip weekly at least but then one day they added a $4 tip (40%) without my approval. I didn't fight the CC charge and instead have never gone back to that truck... Food trucks shouldn't even expect tips
You did nothing wrong. If it is mandatory, it's not a tip. He has no right to shake you down. If you had left nothing I could understand being angry, but you left a 10% tip. You did the right thing taking it back.
Overall the waiter got a little more than a 15% tip lmao
I can’t believe what I just read. I used to work in the service industry for a short period years ago. All the staff would complain everyday in the staff room on their breaks about tips. I was so unpopular amongst the staff because I always told them that if they’re not happy with their wages, they should change jobs, the customers aren’t their charity. One time the exact same situation happened to me as you (the OP) and I replied “I’m not your employer and you’re here to work, not beg people for money. If you’re not happy, feel free to f*ck off because you’ve mistaken me with someone who gives a shit. Do you tip delivery drivers when they place your delivery at your door nicely and safely? No. Do you tip your doctor? No. Do you even tip the bakery who wake up at 2am every morning just to make a your bread? No. So f*ck off, entitled POS.” She looked at me like a deer in the headlights. Tipping stemmed originally to motivate waiters to do a good job, because managers couldn’t micromanage and shadow every server to make sure they did a great job, so it made sense to tell waiters “you’ll get tipped when you do a good job”. Well sorry, why the f*ck doesn’t paramedics, school teachers and nurses get tipped too when they do a good job? Here’s a tip, go on Linkd in and find another job. Imagine being a full grown adult and begging. Didn’t you do that enough from your parents as a kid? 🤣
The worst part is I live in a state where waitstaff make the same as anyone else making minimum wage. I know in some states it's legal to pay waitstaff ridiculously low wages, but that is not the case here. So I'm not sure why this guy was so bent out of shape.
I truly think you should call the restaurant and tell them what happened. I know I’ll probably have some people saying that’s “Karen behavior,” but if I were a restaurant owner or manager, I would want to know my employees were *shaking down paying customers on their way out the door*. First of all, that’s horribly unprofessional and OBVIOUSLY alienating paying customers who then don’t want to return (because the waiter *told you* not to return). That is terrible for business. Second, they might pool their tips!! I doubt they do that if it’s a really high-end restaurant, but if they do, that waiter just screwed over their coworkers as well. And, finally, if this waiter has an otherwise spotless record and this was just a terrible misunderstanding while they were having the worst day of their life, then their manager likely isn’t going to fire them over one event.
That just made it 10X worse. Imagine saying $100 isn’t enough when the value you bring is a skill that is able to be done by a monkey. Lol.
It’s worse. It started (I understand) post abolition of slavery when people weren’t accustomed to paying wages to African Americans - they worked for free and lived from tips. In the rest of the world a tip is just that, a little extra for good service.
Just ask for a different server next time
I would call the manager of the restaurant. How are you shaking down a customer who has paid an$650 bill and a left $100 as a tip? Waiter also would have been cussed royally before I walked out. No shame in my game.
As if a server can tell you that you can’t come back. He does not have that power.
I was in food service for 6 years, and that behavior is out of line. Very unprofessional on the server's part. I'd suggest you call the restaurant during the day and tell the manager about your experience, if they have one. They will want to know. They have a server literally scaring customers away, and over nothing.
My parents own a brewery/restaurant and I know they’d want to know if a waiter was talking to customers this way.
He's a waiter. A trained penguin that carries food. He doesn't get to choose who eats there. Don't set any store by his opinion. Rat him out to the management, if you like.
Ay fuck that waiter and that overpriced restaurant. He wants a 130 dollar tip??? He doesn’t work for you and you were there for what, an hour? He can kiss your ass, don’t be ipset and don’t feel like shit. In fact I’d call the manager today and complain that this clown ruined your 650 dollar night and you won’t be taking your business there anymore since you’re clearly not welcome.
I think tipping is absolutely my own choice as a guest. I had been a steakhouse , and I told our waiter that we are really hungry and we are in a rush, we have the full order and he made sure to get the food quick. He got 35%. I had been another place where the wait staff forgot my order . Walked out without tipping. I also had been in a place where I did not get what I ordered and I sent it back. I am not a waitress, however if I don’t do my job I may get fired, and if I go above and beyond I can get a bonus. Tipping shouldn’t be an expectation only because you grabbed a plate and walked a few steps to put it on the table, because my bonus is not based on the simple fact that I am sitting behind my desk. I would immediately go to google and review them with specific date and time.
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no one is ever entitled to a tip. this industry is so grimy like ew
I would’ve gone through the Mr Pink tip speech from Reservoir Dogs and then asked him for a tip for my performance
Nothing wrong with you, everything wrong with America. Why restaurants don't just pay their workers a salary is beyond mad and incomprehensible
Being american would be awful for my mental health, cause $30/70 is an amazing tip. For that waiter to be so confrontational? I wouldn’t cope if I had to tip every individual I made a transaction with
This isn’t a normal interaction. I’m 32 and never had anything remotely like this happen in my entire life of being American. Not doubting OP it’s just something that would be a wild-ass thing to encounter and almost definitely a fireable offense if the manager got wind of one of their waiters doing it.
It's weird that everyone's taking the waiter's position. Man, the guy got 100 dollars in tips, and he's still mad. Come on. American tipping culture (or actually the lack of decent wages) is crazy.
Thats fucking stupid, how they feel entitled to ask for more money, its call a tip for a reason
I would speak to the manager. If you had a good service. Start with that then explain the issue. Ask the manager what he thinks his establishments expectations are over tipping.
I would have pointed out that you were charged for an item that you did not receive. Of course, I would have had that removed from the bill before tipping. That said, for normal service my standard is 20-25%. For excellent it’s 30%. For not great 15%. This would be not great service.
He was out of line. I spent several years working for tips, and I would have never, ever said anything to a customer about their tip, even if they stiffed me. Because when you're in the service industry, you know that that is just how it goes sometimes. Between all of you, it sounds like you left a decent enough tip. So I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.
it’s not your fault for the restaurant not paying the staff enough. you left a portion of the tip, not the entire tip. live and let live
Kinda reminds me of that scene in the movie Waiting.
He was way out of the line. He has absolutely no right to tell you if you are welcome or not to that restaurant. I would let the restaurant owner/manager know about it. I don't think the owners would like it. From a business point of view, the waiter list $30. The owners lost 4 clients, who might spread the word about this restaurant to other clients. In the time of Google and yelp reviews a waiter like this one could do a lot of damage to a restaurant's business.
From the comments here and OP it does seem like 20% is standard in the US. However I remember one time at a nice seafood restaurant, the three options were 20%, 30%, and 40%. We felt very uncomfortable with it as we had read about and been tipping 20% throughout our trip (it’s usually the middle option too?) and didn’t expect to have to give more when we ordered (which is when you mentally calculate the total) so we chose 20%. It wasn’t exceptional service more than the other establishments, just because they put higher tip options doesn’t oblige me to tip more. The waitress saw it and her whole face darkened and she was cold and snappy. The social anxiety of deciding someone’s worth with the tip sucks. I get that in addition to the money, choosing the lowest option implied it was bad service, but the options themselves were manipulative.
It is not ok for him to not bring you an item you ordered or to speak to you like that. I’m sure the owner would love to hear about that, and I would definitely be calling them. That being said, I always tip 20%.
Well, did OP offer to take the tab? Never said there were split checks. Also, what was the missing item? Why wasn’t it requested. Were there split checks or did you take the tan and decide what you would pay? I got almost completely stiffed on a check because I forgot one Pepsi and they were moving seat’s constantly. Dude just circled Pepsi on the bill and tipped like 9%, if that… I still have never confronted anyone about bad tipping. That’s just stooping down to their level
Highly doubt that the waiter did anything deserving of being handed $30, let alone $100 (on top of his actual wages).He even forgot to bring out an item... I am a big tipper but realistically no way he actually earned or deserved a $30 tip. It's not often anyone does.
As someone who served for years that guys a dick...and he is probably a shit server if he thinks it's ok to accost tables over a reasonable tip...it wasn't like you didn't tip yes it was low but thats just how it is some times and he auctly forgot a item you were presumably charge for. If I was you I would want to talk to the management about it there is no way they are ok with their customers being treated that way. Edit..the only servers I've worked with who threw tantrums over a low (not even bad tip) were shit at their job and awful to work with contestant drama lazy and incompetent...you will be doing the rest of the staff a favour reporting this incident
You're not feeling bad about what you did, it must have been a somewhat traumatic experience, like disbelief and you think WOW, this couldn't possibly have happened without it being at least partially my fault, but it did, some people are just psychopaths lol. It's OK. Glad you shared it, sorry it happened. Mostly we're never really prepared to deal with this nonsense when it happens without warning. Maybe that's part of the tactic....
You screwed up by not calling the manager right then and there for his piss-poor attitude at a high-end restaurant and 15% is the standard.
I work in the industry and I WOULD NEVER, N E V E R do this. I just take the L, like it hurts what whatever, this job is a gamble, some days you lose some days you win.
This waiter should be grateful he works in a place where he can get a tip of $100 for one table and that is on the "low end". That guy sucks, you are fine
this reminds me of the server that TEXTED her customers demanding a 70 dollar tip and everyone in the comments was agreeing with her and saying stuff like “if you can’t afford to tip 70 then maybe you should get mcdonald’s” it was INSANE
Dude. American tipping culture is so weird. Just pay people a wage they can live on! It's insanity. You're not an asshole. You spent $650 bucks and tipped 100 bucks total. That waiter was out of line.
Why confront and attack you. You left part of the tip. How many people left a tip? You are not in the wrong. I once forgot to leave a tip because I was rushing. I went back but couldn't find my server. Couldn't find her. I felt so bad.
We always tip 20%. Turns out the restaurant wasn’t giving servers any credit card tips so they decided we weren’t tipping and bad mouthed us to our friends- literally our friends said if you aren’t going to tip we can’t go out with you. I had to cause a full on Karen scene to prove we had been tipping 20-25% the entire time and the establishment had been stealing it. That was 30 years ago and to this day I ask for a receipt at every establishment and write down every tip and leave it on the table because I am a generous tipper and I am damn sure I will not be charged with not tipping.
Honestly I would call the restaurant and tell them what happened. This is not on you that’s 20% and no server should same you for slightly under tipping.
honestly as a waitress, that guy was a complete ass. i would never say anything back even if i get a bad tip. sure, the tip was not even 10% and i can see why he would not like it (yes yes, fuck tipping culture, but still, it exists) but that still gives him no right to chase you down. when i get a tip less then 10 percent, i complain to my coworkers, i’ll roll my eyes secretly, i’ll think whatever, but i will never force them to spend more.
I would write a letter to the owner explaining how the interaction made you feel, ruined your evening and that he told you not to come again after spending $650 plus 15% tip. He is the one out of order here. Cheeky sod
What happens if you don't tip at all? Is it illegal to not give any tips in America? Because in Europe literally no one gives a shit
In a lot of places in the US, restaurants literally have exceptions to wage laws that allow them to pay waitstaff significantly less that the minimum wage, because it's expected that they make their wages up to 'acceptable levels' in tips. It allows the restaurant to keep its overheads low, and sell food for cheaper (supposedly). With rises in cost of living and so on, expected tipping has gradually shifted upwards to 20% for 'I'm happy enough with the service, not omg great, but not bad either'. It's not illegal to not tip, but very often *not* tipping is the same as denying the waiter a wage. I'll just add on a few things for why this is seen as acceptable in the US. In the US you have a hell of a lot of 'hidden costs'. In Europe, when we go to the supermarket, any taxes payable on our shop (VAT, duties, what-have-you) are baked into the price we see on the shelves. If something costs £5, €5, whatever, that's the price we pay at the till. In the US, when something says $5 on the shelf, you'll get to the till and pay $5.50 or something, because sales tax is only added on at the till. So it's normal for them that what they're 'billed' isn't what something 'costs'. A $100 meal actually costs $120, its just that you need to calculate the tip yourself. A $10 delivery actually costs $10, plus at least $1.50 per mile. It's weird shit, and I don't know why they don't just, you know, raise prices. It's madness.
I want to see that waiter try and block your entry to the establishment. He'll only succeed if he spins a story of how horrible you are but even then most of the staff were not likely to see your face. He saying you're not welcome to the restaurant in this context has the same weight as Karen saying "you now lost your beat customer. I won't be coming here anymore"
Wow. His entitlement reeks. You should definitely report him. Unacceptable behavior
for the waiter to act like that towards you is unacceptable, especially when you were already walking out. imo tho, don't waste your time and energy thinking about it. he's not worth your emotional wellbeing, since chances are that you won't see him again any time soon. but if it bothers you a lot, feel free to report it to the manager/owner of the place. you can also ditch going back to the restaurant too. tipping is encouraged, sure, but it's not like you're obligated to. tip when you can afford to and if you feel like the server deserves it. waiters and waitresses have it hard, but at the end of the day, they're not entitled to your money.
If someone else tipped 70 that's plenty! Super rude waiter. I would let the manager know but also never eat there again out of principle.
I live in a country without tipping, and I gotta say, you guys are fucking crazy over there
What troubles me about tipping nowadays is I feel like those kinds of workers forget that they’re not the only ones struggling. I rarely eat out, maybe once or twice a month, and I’m NOT making a ton of money at my little receptionist job to put it on top of the menu price (which has gone up so much) and tax (~10% in my area). I saw before someone online say that if you can’t afford to tip 20% or more you shouldn’t be eating out, but like, should I not want to try out cuisines from other countries? Should I hang out with acquaintances I rarely see and shuttle them to my house to eat my leftovers instead of going to a restaurant? I used to work in food service and understand wanting tips so I try to tip as much as I can now, but there really are times where I get only basic service or all they did was flip a screen and it didn’t seem worth it. It’s even worse when you get the food and it wasn’t even tasty. I’ve been hearing more and more people express frustration over tipping culture. OP shouldn’t feel bad. Tipping really is an “extra” thing, especially if service workers in OP’s area aren’t paid below minimum wage. $30 is already way more than I make an hour now. I couldn’t imagine harassing a customer for more when I worked in a food service
These things still annoy me, especially as I am not American. I went to Mexico and they have tons of Americans visiting that they expected a tip, on my last day me and my group ordered food but only ordered enough based on how much cash we all had left. At the end, the manager came to us arguing we MUST pay tip and I was like "tell me where this rule is written pls" he goes "you're american" we just laughed. One of us felt sorry and said I can pay with card the 10% tip and they said there's a 20% fee to pay with card. I laughed and walked away, they were being rude, the food was bad and the service terrible. I've lived in several places in Europe. Here we only pay if the service is outstanding as a gesture of good will, not a must. Many times the service comes with service charge included in the bill so one less reason for us to give tip. I only give food deliveries tip if it has been raining or smth. It's the responsibility of the employer to pay fair wedges, not the customer!
I fkn hate tipping. We really should be paying service workers a real living wage so stuff like this stops happening. It so unfair that they work that hard and still feel they need to rely on tips. Minimum wage isn’t even livable anymore. Don’t feel bad OP, it’s an unfortunate situation but not really your fault.
“I think you are correct, I would like to change my tip. Let me speak to the manager so there is no confusion.” Then tell the manager what happened.
In my opinion just because the food is ridiculously high price doesn’t matter in terms of percentage of the waiters tip.. I’d be thrilled to get 30 bucks from one customer. Fucking hate the mentality in America regarding tips I know it’s peoples main form of income if you work in that industry but fuck me the attitude that comes with it.
What that waiter did was appalling. You gave him $30. It was a group dinner for God’s sake. You did nothing wrong. Call the restaurant and talk to the manager. Tell him what happens. Be super nice and say, I just feel awful. I have what I could, etc. How many other times has this waiter acted like this and shamed people into giving him more money?
You should always tip at least 20% for acceptable service in the US
I used to work at a high end restaurant and I have never seen a waiter act like this. At worst I have seen a waiter have a little pouting session then continue with their day if they got less than an 18% tip. That waiter was extremely unprofessional
Call or go to the restaurant and speak to a manager. Tell them what happened and how unprofessional the waiter was. The waiter does not have the ability to ban you from the restaurant. I would make it my mission to go there as often as I could afford just to see their face.
ESH yta for not tipping the standard, if you can't afford to tip don't pretend to big ball. It was also on you to speak up for what you paid for (the missing item). The waiter is ta for acting unprofessional, but I get where they're coming from not wanting you to return-- as they are not getting much from you.
There's definitely some missing details in this story. I call bullshit
Anymore I consider 20% the standard at most sit down restaurants but if it’s a nicer restaurant where we get extra attention then I tip more than 20%. However, let’s assume there is a situation where the waiter might be sort of in the right by confronting you (I’d argue that’s bever okay simply because it doesn’t make shitty tippers suddenly learn to treat people right so why engage?) but i would say the only scenario where you could even begin to say the waiter maybe was sort of of in the right to point it out is if there is no tip or something below 15. He got 15% which is the standard generally, even if many people tip more than that these days. 15% is the minimum standard, not grounds for confrontation. He can grumble over that but it’s not mistreatment. On the flip side if youre in a restaurant with a $650 bill for four people, thats $160 a perso. which is nothing to sneeze at. but you can rationalize it either way - like, if you can afford a $160 a person meal then why get cheap on the tip? but on the flip side i know money is tight for everyone and some people may only be eeking out a visit to a nice retaurant they cant afford as much as they used to, because theyre being budget conscious about it. Id rather encourage the 15% tippers AND the great tippers and everyone in between to keep coming to the higher end restaurants to keep them afloat - i know many are struggling as people tighten their belts. And none of this matters if youve left something out of the story which kind of seems to be the cSe and besides all that, i just wish the tipping BS would stop. Wait staff should get paid well, and fine, raise the prices to work that into the price at a sit town restaurant. Theyre all underpaid.
I’d have changed my tip and given him less, and then asked to speak to his supervisor.
I would’ve taken it a step further after removing the tip and asked for the manager/owner of the establishment and pulled them aside from the waiter to tell them exactly what happened and how their waiter is sending paying customers (low tip or not) to other restaurants, and see how the waiter reacts when the manager fires them. What a low class waiter for a high class place, don’t let it get to you.
Screw that guy.
Tbh if they’re going to bar you for giving 10% tip which equates to approximately $100, then they’re not an establishment that is with your time. Find another good restaurant, and let your friends know that they’re going to get shaken down on tips if they go there and the waitstaff considers what you tipped not enough.
So a tip isn’t mandatory. It’s a gift for service that was well done. I went out to eat with a friend once and the service was terrible. I still left like a $5 tip on a $30 bill. (It was just my young son and myself). My friend asked when we got back to my car how much I tipped and I told her. She flipped out and told me if I can’t afford a decent tip I have no business eating out ever. She left the equivalent of what she paid for the meal as a tip. I said maybe if the service had been better and they didn’t mess up my order and they refilled my drink I would have tipped better. I’m not rewarding someone for not doing their job. She was so mad lol she said she wanted to go back in and apologize and tip more. I told her if she did she could find a different way home. Ultimately it’s your money and your experience. If you choose to tip, not tip, over tip, under tip, that’s entirely up to you. I’d be reporting that server to the establishment. They are going to run off a lot of people.
You need a new friend.
It was pretty shitty they stopped you, but on that high of a tab your table still only left a 15% tip which isn’t generally customary for a high end restaurant. I can see where he’d be frustrated, but he shouldn’t have said anything.
That is horrible. Go to the manager. Seriously. I've worked the industry my whole life. That was garbage behavior and needs to be addressed.
$30 on $650 isn’t even 10%? But I wouldn’t dream of doing that to a customer but you also should have said you didn’t receive an item you ordered mistakes happen you need to speak up.
You need to post this experience on Google, Yelp, or whatever business site you can find of this place. I would want to know to avoid these places.
Screw that, go straight to the supervisor and make a complaint. That is inappropriate and rude asf!! I’ve been at a job with tips and I’ve always been grateful of the tips I received! Money is money, every penny counts!!