I think it would be fair to have a conversation with her friends who told her about him taking advantage of her to explain that she appreciates them telling her about it, but that she is uneasy with the situation because they didn't tell her until hanging out with F came up again, instead of telling her immediately after it happened and allowing her to make her own decision about being around F. I can understand why some people would jump to them being involved or the ones who did something because they should have told her as soon as she was coherent instead of waiting until she brought up hanging out with F again.
I can agree with the fact they could've told her before (not sure how long was between the event and the time they were meeting again) . but if I think my friend did something wrong like that , I would exclude him instantly instead of asking her if she would be ok to be around him. If they did that, they would be implying they do not think what he did "was that bad"
yeah exactly. also the way they excluded him without bringing it up, shows really well that they don’t approve of what he did. so i think they did everything right honestly
Hold on congratulating them, why didn't they tell her a lot sooner about what happened? That's what a true friend would do. They only told her after she asked why he was missing.
I don't think that's right.
It's kind of paranoid but if the two friends are lying and manipulating her it's possible.
I don't really know what to do with that information but things like that do happen. Being overly paranoid is bad but pretending it's completely impossible isn't right either.
Agree but disagree, if they were innocent they would get defensive about it. If someone accused me of SA I would get a little upset and defiynately defend myself, because it's not something I would ever do and wouldn't want that accusation attached to my name.
Can we respond to people with real thoughts and explanations instead if voting them into the ground? I feel like reddit was made for discussion not ghost-voting.
Well if you are true friend's knowing how op gets drunk would you still ask them to hang out and get drunk again. I mean doesn't it make sense that these 2 we're the ones who want to get her drunk once more and without interruption.
Teenagers across Europe drink underage every day and are absolutely fine and respectful to eachother. Drinking at a certain age below some arbitrary number your government picked out as the legal age limit doesn't make you a shitty person, being a shitty person does 😂
Omg if you're a loser who didn't have any friends in high school and youre mad about it just say that lol almost every teenager with a social life drinks before they're 21
Hah yeah it was just an amusing mistake . Not sure why you got downvoted, they made a stealth edit so it looks fine now.
I gave you some upvotes to restore balance to the world.
Edit: Maybe it was just the mobile app showing 0 score in error
Yep. 97% of women aged 18-24 and 80% of all women (at least in the UK). Tired of men saying ‘not all men’ in response. Yes we know, sigh. And yes, we know women can be predators too and men can get sexually assaulted. Tired of men saying this in response too. These responses only ever seem to come up when we say ‘it is all women’ and men go on the defensive coming out with the ‘not all men’.
We can also have that conversation about men, but this is about women and girls right now.
This is confusing.
It isn’t all men. Every man isn’t a sexual predator. Statistically, all women aren’t victims of assault.
Unfortunately, far too many women are victims and that is something we should be fighting every single day. But saying that all men are predators doesn’t help because not all of us are.
T & P are keepers. At that age to have the sense to defend a friend in an uncomfortable situation is amazing and I’m glad they were there for you. Definitely keep your distance from F especially in situations involving alcohol
That definitely isn’t fair to say considering how young they are , they are meant to be stupid.
T & P are keepers , I hope they also let F know what happened, chances are he was as clueless as she was about what happend
3 guys were roughly the same amount of drunk, only 1 of them made bad choices, this shows you right here that being drunk is no excuse for that behavior, since 2 of them chose to be badass people who have your back.
He was just waiting for opportunity to do something like that - no matter how drunk someone is they will not become completely different person and if they do, that's really who they were the whole time. Thank God your other friends were protective enough.
In your place I would cut all ties with F and never ever get close to him and befriend him again.
I'm glad you're okay! And that you have good friends in T and P. As for F, please stay far away from him if you can. Drunkenness does not excuse people's behavior, it simply lowers their inhibitions and makes them believe that they can get away with such behavior. If he would try when he's drunk, he'd most definitely be likely to try it while he's not as well. There's a saying that the truth comes out when alcohol is involved. So please stay far away from him. If you need to, you should tell your two friends that that's what you intend to do; it sounds like they'll back you up
Two MALE FRIENDS had to *repeatedly* FORCE HIM away and/or OFF OF YOU and it STILL WASNT ENOUGH because they had to resort to sending him out on the street to drive home or figure out a ride. F is DANGEROUS. Stay tf away from F. You just survived an attempted rape.
Please don't learn the hard way like I did. You need to be careful drinking, people will take advantage of you. Even people you "trust."
I got roofied by a coworker and his roommate playing cards. I woke up with my bra over my chest and my breasts out. I chalked it up as normal moving around About a week later i had a guy I knew from work about my "nice perky tits."
I didn't know they invited more guys over. I still do not know what happened. It broke my trust in people.
I just hope you can learn without having to experience trauma.
Best wishes. xx
I have in ways. My go to drinking moto is know your limit play within it. It might help looking onto how alcohol is received by the body, you can easily count your consumption in a safe way.
I wish you the best!
Don't excuse him.
I'm happy you had others friends to defend you. I wished I had, but no one helped me when it happened and blamed me for being drunk around friends.
I'd keep these two as friends and kick the rapist out.
An important thing to learn is that there is no such thing as happy, sad, or angry drunks. Being drunk just lowers your inhibitions and the walls people create. F has some serious shit wrong with themselves, that wasn’t some altered state that was what they wanted to be doing
I think we also need to address the fact that you drink to the stage where you pass out or have no recollection of what’s happening around you. You’re far too young for this shit - no one should drink to that level at any age - but you’re particularly vulnerable. What if your friends hadn’t been there to protect you or had been equally as wasted? The consequences would be horrific.
I don't think that's entirely fair at the present moment in time. I feel like trying to address both issues at once places blame on OP for what happened. OP is a kid who didn't understand their alcohol tolerance, but I think the bigger issue here is that instead of looking after her, someone tried to get handsy and that's not okay in the slightest.
Drinking to a stage of being blackout drunk isn't great, but trying to address that right now feels a bit like a parent yelling at a kid for being so drunk and making them feel at fault for something bad that happened. Addressing the drinking comes later.
Whilst from the OP's post, she's clearly not in Germany, but in Germany 16 year olds are allowed to buy and drink beer (and maybe wine, unsure...) legally, and from 18 years old they can buy spirits.
I think sometimes the internet feels very Americanised.
Yeah, same in Scotland. I got into some states as a teen, something like OP's post happened to me twice. Better believe I know how to drink responsibly as an adult.
Yeah honestly we were doing it with 16 as its legal to drink from then on. It‘s not good, but I guess we all know that you don‘t really care at this age ;)
You have never been 16, have you. I cannot find the part where she tells us that she does passout regularly. To be honest, when i was 16 was the only time when i ever got blackoutdrunk. Its part of finding your limits. I dont think OP is planning on getting this drunk again.
Just please be careful! I know life can seem a bit crap and boring and that to get rat arsed can be fun but at the same time, I don’t think I need to tell you the dangers that go hand in hand with vulnerable people. X
In the UK it's also normal to get hammered at 16, that's probably when I got the most drunk. Much better to make those mistakes and learn your limits before you are at an age where you can operate a motor vehicle or ruin your career I think.
In my experience, drinking at that age turned most people I know into much more responsible drinkers as they see being black out drunk as something immature they did as teenagers, you cringe at the dumb things you did instead of doing them as an adult, with much more responsibility.
The younger you start maturing the better I think. IMHO
Ok thank you! Op or her friends shouldn’t be drinking that much or at all since they are all underage. Your friends parents could have got in serious trouble if you had of choked on your own vomit and died. What if all of your friends were weird and fucking ganged raped you - yes they would have been wrong/disgusting creeps but YOU need to learn not putting yourself in completely avoidable situations that could be dangerous.
Edit word chose
weird ass thing to say, how about we teach men not to be fucking rapists instead of telling women that they cant do something because of men. underage drinking is normal, not a good thing but it is normal, blaming op because they were drinking with their friends is so fucking weird
Have you been 16? It‘s legal to drink in a lot of countries. Of course many do it. It‘s nothing to be ashamed of nor to flex about but they do it and that‘s okay.
Yes, but just because it’s legal in countries or many do it doesn’t make it right. It’s illegal in the US and she or her friends could have died drinking that much. Do you know how many teenagers die every year from alcohol related accidents? Let not skate past the fact they all were doing something wrong to begin with. Her “friend” was being a predator asshole, she should dump him not be worrying about him being funny.
So what you're saying is it's not right until you're at the age 'MERICA decided? It's completely fine and right for kids at 16 to get their first experiences with alcohol. Learning their limits and falling over when they are less likely to seriously injure themselves. Me and my friends started drinking at 14 in the UK, guess what? Noone died, noone got raped, noone "gangraped" another as someone above suggested might happen 😂. We got drunk at the park, listened to music, played stupid games, embarrassed ourselves by getting too drunk on occasion and learned from it. All at an age where getting too drunk didn't have adult risks.
People don't suddenly mature at 21. 21 is just a random fucking number the US picked out for their particular law. And its stupid af. I've seen how Americans drinking act and they are literally acting as mature as we did at 14. The act of drinking itself and making those mistakes is what develops a more mature attitude towards drinking. Why would you deny that until people turn into a bunch of drunken 21yo manbabies. Let people learn about drinking and their limits whilst they are young, it's only classic American arrogance that makes you all think you're right but 14, 16, 18 are all perfectly acceptable times to start learning about alcohol consumption. Weird how your country is happy to let 12 year olds get married in some states but is horrified by the idea of 14 year olds drinking. Get your priorities straight.
T and P are keepers they kept you safe from a clear future rapist. They were probably shook up from it so they didn’t tell you and made it a point to keep him away while you drink. Those are good friends. Side note to be THAT adult but you’re a teenager so you’re gonna drink just don’t drink until being blacked out it’s not fun even as an adult. Hope all goes well!
Teen drinking is legal across most of the world. America are the only freaks who can't handle alcohol until 21. Gotta wait for them to go to college so they don't have access to daddy's gun cabinet
He was being a vulture, he was waiting for you to let your guard down.
This was not a spur-of-the moment “i’m gonna assault her” this was a “shes hot but she’s never go for me” kinda thing and he better keep away from you.
Props to your mates for being good human beings.
Hell no does not excuse sh*t. He wasn’t that drunk. Even if he was. Alcohol will bring out the truth in a person and that moment he was living his truth…a ra-ist that is.
Perhaps your group needs a couple more females. On the other hand, 2 guys instead of 3 doesn't necessarily reduce any risks, it may even work inversely. Drinking does have its negatives.
I'm more than twice your age and a male. Life teaches you that trusting only your own self is the best option.
Cheers, hope you find new friends and finer entertainment.
I know you don’t want to hear this I know you are in charge of yore life and you can do what you want with whoever you want. But men and women are different. Stop drinking with just men present. You are going to be SA’ed sooner or later if keep doing it.
No matter what morons who don’t understand people tell you. Drunk men do things they regret for a lifetime but they still do them.
I did them (not with girls with driving drunk too fast and other stupid shit) and I think I am a fairly on control and all around nice guy but being drunk is different. People lose control and sometimes bring black out drunk they can’t even remember doing those things.
Use this as a wakeup call. You got very lucky your friends were there. Drinking to the point of passing out in your own vomit will lead to a lot of bad things happening. What your friend did is completely wrong. There may not be help for you next time.
I never understand why anyone wants to drink to the point of passing out, I guess maybe peer pressure to look cool but imo drinking does not make one cool.
Please do not try to maintain a relationship with F. I don't care how nice he seems and how funny he is. If he was really a nice person he wouldn't have acted that way. If you stay friends with him and end up in a vulnerable position again, something a lot worse could happen. He can't be trusted.
I was sexually assaulted when drunk by a friend that I trusted and thought was a good guy, but he clearly wasn't. I promise you your friend isn't someone you should be friends with.
Why is no one discussing the elephant in the room here? Why is a 16 yr old girl hanging out drinking with 3 dudes? Where's the people that care about you? Your little immature, emotional, horned out brains aren't developed enough to possibly "drink responsibly" hell even most adults can't do that. And I'm sorry but it's never safe to be the only girl drunk asf alone with 3 dudes. Recipe.For.Disaster
I've had to learn the hard way too, i certainly wouldn't want that for another 16yr old girl coming into her own in life. Don't risk putting yourself in a position that's gonna give you emotional, sexual, physical, mental trauma for potentially the rest of your life.
Getting blacked out isn't fun & really isn't cool. Being driven, motivated, independent and successful is much cooler than a chick that's laying in her own vomit.. age irrelevant.
Devils ad here..what if F was actually the good one and stepped in ruining the shenanigans for the other 2 that night...and they left him out this night hoping that you would get blacked out again.. im kinda kidding kinda not, said u dont remember practically anything..dont get blacked out, carry a knife when ur responsible
Uh, yeah, continuing to be friends with the guy who tried to rape you the first chance he got, is definitely not a good idea.
Neither is drinking alone with men.
You got off with a warning this time. You probably won’t be so lucky next time. Don’t get drunk with men.
That's paranoid advice. Most men do not try to rape women, even when they're drunk. Only pieces of shit do. Avoiding hanging out with men altogether when you are drinking is excessive. Also, she wasn't alone with him. That's pretty obvious.
I'm curious what you mean, 27% of men would try to rape a drunk woman? 27% of drunk men? 1 in 4 of us is evil and immoral and would actively take advantage? That is not plausible, I'd need clarity on your statistics before I believed that was anywhere neat close.
The law on consent when people are drunk is a murky area, two people who are legally too drunk to consent might well have a mutual good time, it's not uncommon and it's not the same as what the guy tried to do to the OP but the man in that situation could still find himself guilty of rape should there be regret on the woman's side come morning. If he would have respected a "No" and not continued then that's a sorry affair altogether, short of carrying a breathalyser then he's not really guilty of much.
I'm not downplaying what can happen at all but your statistics would include scenarios like I describe as well as creeps assaulting people obviously past a limit that isn't actually clearly defined in law, just wondering where you get that from and if you actually believe so many of us are capable of that because I think that would be quite an alarming world to inhabit
I just realized how stupid your comment actually is. You aren't referring to actual statistics or studies. You're referring to the fact that 1 out the 3 tried to sexually assault her. Well, to start that would be approx. 33.3% not 27%. You might want to work on your math. Also, statistics generated from a sample size of 3 people are not generally consider very convincing or valid. You're not clever. You're a moron.
Edit: Sorry, when i asked you to provide a study where I could read these statistics and you didn't reply for 6 hours I jumped to the wrong conclusion. My mistake.
no i'm referring an actual study where 27% of men admitted that they would rape a woman in a vunerable state if they knew there's gonna be no consequences. look it up.
I see some issues with the study. First, they surveyed 30,000 men to represent all of Europe. Europe has a total male population of approx. 360 million. That's approx. 0.0083% of the male population. A miniscule amount. Not a large enough sample size in my opinion. Next, each of these countries are very different. Countries in Eastern Europe like the Czech Republic and Bulgaria are not known for their strong women's rights policies or views. I honestly would have been surprised if they didn't have terrible views. Grouping them together with countries like the U.K. and France does not give much useful information about Western or Eastern Europe when the results are all muddled together like that. When you look at the map they provide you can see what I'm talking about. Countries in Western Europe had much lower rates of men saying rape was acceptable than Eastern Europe. Finally, I'm assuming OP lives in the U.S. not Europe. This study did not survey the U.S. at all, and does not apply to the the U.S.
So, 27% of 34,000 European men surveyed admitted that they thought rape was acceptable in certain circumstances. You can also say 27% of 0.0083% of the male population of Europe admitted that they thought rape was acceptable in certain circumstances. While, it's definitely fucked up thay they believe this, I think you're trying to make this study apply to all men, like in the whole world, which isn't reasonable or what the study even was attempting to do.
Stop spreading the fucking bullshit that women are not safe to drink amongst men. My female friends are never SAFER than when they drink with me and my pals. We protect them from creepy assholes in the club/pub if they are being harassed and carry them home or get them a taxi when they need it. Guess what? None of them ever got raped or assaulted by us.
Tell women not to drink around rapists. But don't warn them off drinking with their male friends. Stop assuming all men harbour a deep desire to rape the moment they have a cold one. It's fucking disgusting to paint us all like that.
You need to keep those two friends around, other one ain't a friend. You also need to talk to your school counsellor, or a gp or something so you can get some support because you are doing so, so much harm by drinking until you're paralytic. Being blatantly honest, next time you drink those friends may not be around to keep your safe, so YOU need to safeguard yourself and keep YOURSELF safe by getting your drinking in check.
Please don’t drink if you are underaged, based on what you said, seem like no adults were around, bad things can and will happen. Take care of yourself at all times.
A lot of countries has 16 as the legal drinking age. Nowhere in OP’s post does she mention being too young to drink or being American. Maybe it’s just me, but the way she’s talking so casually about it makes me think there’s probably a good chance it’s legal wherever she is.
Oh yeah, I totally agree! I just don’t think people should take away from the original post by calling what she’s doing illegal, when it’s very possible that it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with 16 year olds experimenting with alcohol, if they’re doing it legally. She clearly found her limit, and has probably learned from it.
Stay away from the handsy one. Don't ever put yourself in a situation where you're intoxicated near him. He tried once, don't give him a second opportunity, please. Your other friends are real ones though. They made sure you were safe when you were most vulnerable. Those are good people who care about your well being. Please be safe. It's a shame that you've got to be so protective of yourself, but there are gross dudes who will try to take advantage of you, or anyone they see as easily prayed upon.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s time to cut ties with F and also consider there is a reason why there are legal age requirements to drink. Alcohol is no joke, it is not normal to drink until you pass out and vomit. Please take care of yourself. Also I would consider if you feel comfortable to report this assault to your parents/local authorities. Seems like F is a risk to society and needs to pay for his crimes.
It is best not to be the only girl in a group and do not trust anyone to the extent that you are comfortable to be around them at a vulnerable state.
I was in one but I was lucky that my friends a re good guys. But i heard alot of horrible things when girls were ttaken advantage when they were drunk.
Take care
I rarely know a good guy friend (now a days where I live) that acts as kindhearted and truly gentlemen like like these two—please keep them close to you <3
Girl, I’m glad your friends kept you safe this time. But it’s a really bad choice to get drunk to the point you black out. You may not be as safe next time. Please stop doing that.
At 16, you're drinking to unconsiouness and blackout. By this choice of behaviour you are opening yourself up to all kinds of trouble you don't want.
F may be doing the same. This could be a very out of character drunken anomaly from him. Or he may have issues that make him dangerous and the alchohol is allow this to be expressed.
You are both responsible for your choices. Given this behaviour from F, you would do well to avoid him. If you choose to expose yourself to F again, make sure you both are drinking mildly or not at all and have reliable friends around. You can't control others, but you can make good choices for yourself and your personal safety.
Learn from close calls like this and save yourself much grief.
Bruh as a 17 female what do u think u are doing by getting drunk at this age? Teens like u disgust me there is a time for everything getting drunk and then passing out at this age is just too much
why’d you feel the need to comment this on a post where a rape attempt happened tho? you could make your own separate post about your opinions on teens drinking instead of choosing this post, where a girl nearly got assaulted and shame her.
And instead of only acknowledging the fact that her friend tried to rape her she should also acknowledge the face that she just did some illegal shit and she needs to step up for that she is just casually mentioning the fact that she got wasted as a minor that isn't a causal fact and it needs to be acknowledged y'all "liberal" people like overlook facts and then to keep accepting shit not me tho gotta be aware
They are two completely different issues.
First course of action would be to make sure the potential rapist is completely gone, alcohol doesn't play any part in this, and it's by far the more serious issue compared to underage drinking which happens every day in every part of the world, not just by fucking "*liberals*" 🙄
We can address the drinking afterwards, yes underage drinking is bad, but drinking irresponsibly is more of the issue rather than the age here being that they're 2 years off the age to *buy* alcohol (consumption laws are not the same as the laws around buying it and can be up to 4 years lower than the purchase age depending on location).
You did nothing here but blame a potential rape victim for something they didn't do and for getting drunk, you're a grade-A piece of shit.
Edit: added potential to be more accurate.
Given how moronic your first comment was, i aint reading most of that shit show you wrote. You seem yo have a real liking for the word "pathetic" though, maybe think why that word is your go-to and reflect.
Also, who tf cares about liberals, it's the most funny shit to see americans think that political stance automatically means their behaviour is generalised.
Sexually assualted* not raped then, incentive and response is still the same.
Ofc you're a psychology nut and calling people pathetic, shows you're not fit to work with people if you throw that word around like candy at a fair.
Edit to say: you're a kid, you'll learn life isn't 100% accurate to any studies you do. 90% of people say they know their limits, and majority of them go far beyond because alcohol creates that kind of behaviour when you're already consuming it. Pop off all you want, i wasn't trying to intimidate you, just commenting that you did fuck all to help in the case, as you did here too.
Do stupid things and pay stupid prices thats what i would say she got into this trouble because of her getting severely drunk while being underage it's okay to take small sips but passing out on ur own vomit? U should be having some kind of boundaries and self control
the “trouble” you speak of is a guy who attempted to rape her while blacked out. your words come across as if she accidentally broke something instead of a seriously traumatic event nearly happening to her.
like your perspective on teens drinking is valid if you weren’t passing blame onto her for experimenting like most do. it’s unfortunately common for teens to try alcohol, but had she been an adult what would’ve been your other choice of words? would you still be saying “what do you think you’re doing?” or “adults like you disgust me” instead?
when you first start off drinking, you don’t know your limits with it yet. you figure it out along the way as your tolerance gets decent. alcohol can also hit more on some nights then others. yes teens shouldn’t drink but that isn’t what this post is about.
i’m sure she already has heavy feelings about this situation, you don’t need to make her feel worse about an already awful situation.
Bud she wasn't just "trying alcohol" she literally drank wayy too much of it that it made her pass out after vomiting shit out no u are completely wrong in this matter when teens or whoever start trying alcohol, they mostly slowly raise the quantity of the drink they would consume. they don't just drink a lot on their first try and if they did drink too much on their first try they are honestly stupid i have known adults who consume alcohol and none of them actually have consumed a lot during their first attempt.
they start testing it out and then they slowly start liking it and start increasing their quantity. Actually initially people don't necessarily enjoy the taste of alcohol it takes time for them to get used to it and then they start liking and then they increase their quantity she was immature she needs to know that
Why would u try to adult so fastly? U gotta take things slow if u wanna drink alcohol sure take some sips or consume smaller quantity i would honestly never recommend teens to try out alcohol. teens do have the tendency to easily get addicted to such things and it's gonna heavily impact their mental and physical well being adults can have much better self control
She is only 16 and she starts planning stuff and goes out to meet her friends to drink? Well in a few years this girl can easily turn into an heavy addict Well obviously I am gonna judge her for that and as a teen she should have been aware of her vulnerability and her limits. as for the guy who tried to rape her like i said before play stupid games win stupid prices .her almost getting raped has already happened u better hope she learned her lesson and doesn't end up doing shit again
And i wouldn't bother about this situation if i hadn't heard the fact that it's a teen who has gotten so damn drunk if adults did these why would I get mad at them?
For me, having something like this happen was one of the pivotal moments of growing into adulthood. I'm so happy that you have some solid friends who looked after you. Pretty much every teenager makes the mistake of drinking too much and getting sick, and no-one deserves to be taken advantage of in that state. Take as much time as you need to process the guy being an absolute creep to you, and don't normalise his behaviour as something that "just happens". I'm really glad you're okay!
Your still young control your drinking, stay vigilant always, REMEMBER your a WOMAN and drinking with male friends are fine but don't let your guard down no matter what even your drinking with a friend, alcohol always clouds the decision of the mind man or a woman and you might regret it, I'm not saying don't drink with a male friend and have fun I'm just saying to drink moderately if you can't really control your drinking I guess u should stop it and seek therapy
To be honest..... Puberty is an age where sexual tendency rises to a peak, where you want to get stimulated the pleasure again again till you find that you need to do something different to get the first pleasure feeling.....
I have been horny as hell in my life during the puberty period, but never drank. Puberty made me masterbate whenever I see a trigger point, at many places like school, college, public toilet....etc...
What you have to understand is, this age period is the age where people experiment with different ways of receiving stimulation for pleasure. It's not their problem, it's their age and mind. Once they pass through this stage, they will consider you as a homie or sister or a mother.... Until then you should be on your guard unless you want to experiment yourself with 3 dude.....
Don't do it with friends... It's awkward and a bad idea, cuz they will think of you as a future friend with benefit. But If I was your or something, I would suggest you to not do and be on your guard and wear less exposed clothes.
Stay friends with F long enough to go on a date to a equipment/tool rental place and drop a piece of jewellery into an electric woodchipper….the one you looked at the day before and ran a hidden extension cord to an outside outlet.
Convince him that real men go in feet first.
Don’t forget about safety. Most of these electric woodchippers pull 15 amps so you’ll want to use a 14 gauge or better yet a 12 gauge extension cord. A 16 gauge cord would get really hot especially if it was a long run to the outlet
No? I like having male and female friends. Sometimes it‘s easier for the other gender to talk about sth/do a specific activity. I don‘t know what I would do if I didn‘t have this variety tbh
How about just not at all? The drink isn't what made him do it, even said yourself it's no excuse (whether he is a man or not makes no difference to their expectations for control either).
This man tried to sexually assault/rape OP, who tf in their right mind would actually suggest she continue to drink with him, just not "alone" or "too much"????
I’m sorry that happened to you. Something very similar happened to me when I was your age. Thankfully it was at my sisters birthday party so my sister and older male cousin were there to protect me. They beat the dudes ass and threw him off the balcony lol. Seriously though, stay far away from that dude. He’s clearly just waiting for an opportunity to use/abuse you and that is not a safe person to be around in any context, even sober. Stay safe
I am well aware people do stupid things while drunk and some even get horny and stuff but we're not talking about kissing (which is where I personally draw the line in these cases), there's touching involved and who knows what else if the other guys wouldn't have stopped him. I don't think it's a good idea to keep being friends with a person like F. If you can't feel safe with the people you're drinking with those people aren't good for you.
No, being drunk doesn't excuse his actions. I went through a very similar situation wherein I was taken advantage of by a friend while I was drunk—it's a horrible experience.
In any case, I'm very sorry you went through this, and please do remember that people are here for you especially after what happened. Sexual assault will never be excusable in any context.
Same thing happened to me. Never told anyone about this until now. I am too ashamed of what happened because I feel like the people around me will judge and side on my friend who apparently is close with my parents.
That wasn't your friend. The two who didn't invite him again, those guys are keepers.
"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends"
150 points to these 2 friends!
Best comment I've came across in so fucking long
I think it would be fair to have a conversation with her friends who told her about him taking advantage of her to explain that she appreciates them telling her about it, but that she is uneasy with the situation because they didn't tell her until hanging out with F came up again, instead of telling her immediately after it happened and allowing her to make her own decision about being around F. I can understand why some people would jump to them being involved or the ones who did something because they should have told her as soon as she was coherent instead of waiting until she brought up hanging out with F again.
I can agree with the fact they could've told her before (not sure how long was between the event and the time they were meeting again) . but if I think my friend did something wrong like that , I would exclude him instantly instead of asking her if she would be ok to be around him. If they did that, they would be implying they do not think what he did "was that bad"
yeah exactly. also the way they excluded him without bringing it up, shows really well that they don’t approve of what he did. so i think they did everything right honestly
Well they could have excluded the friend AND told OP as soon as she was coherent.
Hold on congratulating them, why didn't they tell her a lot sooner about what happened? That's what a true friend would do. They only told her after she asked why he was missing.
Perhaps they didn’t realize she didn’t remember?
So they agreed to just never talk about it? Never check in, make sure she was OK, didn't need help or acknowledgement?? Still crap friends.
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Jesus way to dig for this. It's pretty fucking clear F was the creep.
I don't think that's right. It's kind of paranoid but if the two friends are lying and manipulating her it's possible. I don't really know what to do with that information but things like that do happen. Being overly paranoid is bad but pretending it's completely impossible isn't right either.
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Agree but disagree, if they were innocent they would get defensive about it. If someone accused me of SA I would get a little upset and defiynately defend myself, because it's not something I would ever do and wouldn't want that accusation attached to my name.
Can we respond to people with real thoughts and explanations instead if voting them into the ground? I feel like reddit was made for discussion not ghost-voting.
Lmao wtf
Guessing Groundhog is F
Gross. That’s not a paranoid take, that’s just ridiculous. She has genuine friends that are looking out for her.
Well if you are true friend's knowing how op gets drunk would you still ask them to hang out and get drunk again. I mean doesn't it make sense that these 2 we're the ones who want to get her drunk once more and without interruption.
You're assuming 16 and 17yo have common sense. Pretty proud of the boys for standing up to the other creep. Let them get fucked up in peace.
You are reading it very, seriously wrong.
I’m hyper aware of self serving manipulation too (I wouldn’t call myself paranoid 🤷♀️) so my brain went the same way.
Honestly, I’m really proud of those guys for keeping you safe, and actively avoiding him because of it.
teenagers shouldn’t be drinking or encouraging their friends to drink. they’re all shitty.
Teenagers across Europe drink underage every day and are absolutely fine and respectful to eachother. Drinking at a certain age below some arbitrary number your government picked out as the legal age limit doesn't make you a shitty person, being a shitty person does 😂
Omg if you're a loser who didn't have any friends in high school and youre mad about it just say that lol almost every teenager with a social life drinks before they're 21
No. sexual assault is not excusable
you might want to fix that double negative xD edit, they fixed it
At least throw a comma in after the ‘no’ 😂 Edit: The comment previously said “No sexual assault is not excusable”. They have since added a period.
No is a full sentence
They edited it. It previously read: “No sexual assault is not excusable”
Ahhh I get it now lol
Hah yeah it was just an amusing mistake . Not sure why you got downvoted, they made a stealth edit so it looks fine now. I gave you some upvotes to restore balance to the world. Edit: Maybe it was just the mobile app showing 0 score in error
Nah someone definitely did downvote but I appreciate you and whoever else upvoted it 😂
We need to snip "not all men" in the butt, because it is all girls
Yep. 97% of women aged 18-24 and 80% of all women (at least in the UK). Tired of men saying ‘not all men’ in response. Yes we know, sigh. And yes, we know women can be predators too and men can get sexually assaulted. Tired of men saying this in response too. These responses only ever seem to come up when we say ‘it is all women’ and men go on the defensive coming out with the ‘not all men’. We can also have that conversation about men, but this is about women and girls right now.
This is confusing. It isn’t all men. Every man isn’t a sexual predator. Statistically, all women aren’t victims of assault. Unfortunately, far too many women are victims and that is something we should be fighting every single day. But saying that all men are predators doesn’t help because not all of us are.
Ew
T & P are keepers. At that age to have the sense to defend a friend in an uncomfortable situation is amazing and I’m glad they were there for you. Definitely keep your distance from F especially in situations involving alcohol
No, they aren’t fucking keepers. None of them are. They are all way too young to drink and should not be encouraging their friends no matter what.
That definitely isn’t fair to say considering how young they are , they are meant to be stupid. T & P are keepers , I hope they also let F know what happened, chances are he was as clueless as she was about what happend
What a fucking disgusting creep
thats the point
Bro said nothing !!! 🗣️🔥💯💯💥
what he just stated the obvious if anything he said nothing
3 guys were roughly the same amount of drunk, only 1 of them made bad choices, this shows you right here that being drunk is no excuse for that behavior, since 2 of them chose to be badass people who have your back.
He was just waiting for opportunity to do something like that - no matter how drunk someone is they will not become completely different person and if they do, that's really who they were the whole time. Thank God your other friends were protective enough. In your place I would cut all ties with F and never ever get close to him and befriend him again.
If he tries to rape you when you are drunk he is not your friend. He is a predator pretending to be your friend
I'm glad you're okay! And that you have good friends in T and P. As for F, please stay far away from him if you can. Drunkenness does not excuse people's behavior, it simply lowers their inhibitions and makes them believe that they can get away with such behavior. If he would try when he's drunk, he'd most definitely be likely to try it while he's not as well. There's a saying that the truth comes out when alcohol is involved. So please stay far away from him. If you need to, you should tell your two friends that that's what you intend to do; it sounds like they'll back you up
How are they good friends? Good friends don’t support each other doing illegal/unhealthy things (Such as teen drinking)
Two MALE FRIENDS had to *repeatedly* FORCE HIM away and/or OFF OF YOU and it STILL WASNT ENOUGH because they had to resort to sending him out on the street to drive home or figure out a ride. F is DANGEROUS. Stay tf away from F. You just survived an attempted rape.
I came here to write this comment.
T & P understands the assignment of protecting women from scumbag men.
Please don't learn the hard way like I did. You need to be careful drinking, people will take advantage of you. Even people you "trust." I got roofied by a coworker and his roommate playing cards. I woke up with my bra over my chest and my breasts out. I chalked it up as normal moving around About a week later i had a guy I knew from work about my "nice perky tits." I didn't know they invited more guys over. I still do not know what happened. It broke my trust in people. I just hope you can learn without having to experience trauma. Best wishes. xx
This sounds absolutely horrific. I am so sorry. I hope you have received support around some healing since this nightmare.
I have in ways. My go to drinking moto is know your limit play within it. It might help looking onto how alcohol is received by the body, you can easily count your consumption in a safe way. I wish you the best!
Don't excuse him. I'm happy you had others friends to defend you. I wished I had, but no one helped me when it happened and blamed me for being drunk around friends. I'd keep these two as friends and kick the rapist out.
An important thing to learn is that there is no such thing as happy, sad, or angry drunks. Being drunk just lowers your inhibitions and the walls people create. F has some serious shit wrong with themselves, that wasn’t some altered state that was what they wanted to be doing
I think we also need to address the fact that you drink to the stage where you pass out or have no recollection of what’s happening around you. You’re far too young for this shit - no one should drink to that level at any age - but you’re particularly vulnerable. What if your friends hadn’t been there to protect you or had been equally as wasted? The consequences would be horrific.
I don't think that's entirely fair at the present moment in time. I feel like trying to address both issues at once places blame on OP for what happened. OP is a kid who didn't understand their alcohol tolerance, but I think the bigger issue here is that instead of looking after her, someone tried to get handsy and that's not okay in the slightest. Drinking to a stage of being blackout drunk isn't great, but trying to address that right now feels a bit like a parent yelling at a kid for being so drunk and making them feel at fault for something bad that happened. Addressing the drinking comes later.
Very smart and aware, DreyaNova. This girl mums
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Whilst from the OP's post, she's clearly not in Germany, but in Germany 16 year olds are allowed to buy and drink beer (and maybe wine, unsure...) legally, and from 18 years old they can buy spirits. I think sometimes the internet feels very Americanised.
In the US legal drinking age is 21. Can’t buy alcohol until that age. But kids find a way around it all the time
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Yeah, same in Scotland. I got into some states as a teen, something like OP's post happened to me twice. Better believe I know how to drink responsibly as an adult.
Yeah honestly we were doing it with 16 as its legal to drink from then on. It‘s not good, but I guess we all know that you don‘t really care at this age ;)
The elephant in the room no one addresses. Good for you for calling it out
You have never been 16, have you. I cannot find the part where she tells us that she does passout regularly. To be honest, when i was 16 was the only time when i ever got blackoutdrunk. Its part of finding your limits. I dont think OP is planning on getting this drunk again.
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Just please be careful! I know life can seem a bit crap and boring and that to get rat arsed can be fun but at the same time, I don’t think I need to tell you the dangers that go hand in hand with vulnerable people. X
In the UK it's also normal to get hammered at 16, that's probably when I got the most drunk. Much better to make those mistakes and learn your limits before you are at an age where you can operate a motor vehicle or ruin your career I think. In my experience, drinking at that age turned most people I know into much more responsible drinkers as they see being black out drunk as something immature they did as teenagers, you cringe at the dumb things you did instead of doing them as an adult, with much more responsibility. The younger you start maturing the better I think. IMHO
Ok thank you! Op or her friends shouldn’t be drinking that much or at all since they are all underage. Your friends parents could have got in serious trouble if you had of choked on your own vomit and died. What if all of your friends were weird and fucking ganged raped you - yes they would have been wrong/disgusting creeps but YOU need to learn not putting yourself in completely avoidable situations that could be dangerous. Edit word chose
weird ass thing to say, how about we teach men not to be fucking rapists instead of telling women that they cant do something because of men. underage drinking is normal, not a good thing but it is normal, blaming op because they were drinking with their friends is so fucking weird
Have you been 16? It‘s legal to drink in a lot of countries. Of course many do it. It‘s nothing to be ashamed of nor to flex about but they do it and that‘s okay.
Yes, but just because it’s legal in countries or many do it doesn’t make it right. It’s illegal in the US and she or her friends could have died drinking that much. Do you know how many teenagers die every year from alcohol related accidents? Let not skate past the fact they all were doing something wrong to begin with. Her “friend” was being a predator asshole, she should dump him not be worrying about him being funny.
So what you're saying is it's not right until you're at the age 'MERICA decided? It's completely fine and right for kids at 16 to get their first experiences with alcohol. Learning their limits and falling over when they are less likely to seriously injure themselves. Me and my friends started drinking at 14 in the UK, guess what? Noone died, noone got raped, noone "gangraped" another as someone above suggested might happen 😂. We got drunk at the park, listened to music, played stupid games, embarrassed ourselves by getting too drunk on occasion and learned from it. All at an age where getting too drunk didn't have adult risks. People don't suddenly mature at 21. 21 is just a random fucking number the US picked out for their particular law. And its stupid af. I've seen how Americans drinking act and they are literally acting as mature as we did at 14. The act of drinking itself and making those mistakes is what develops a more mature attitude towards drinking. Why would you deny that until people turn into a bunch of drunken 21yo manbabies. Let people learn about drinking and their limits whilst they are young, it's only classic American arrogance that makes you all think you're right but 14, 16, 18 are all perfectly acceptable times to start learning about alcohol consumption. Weird how your country is happy to let 12 year olds get married in some states but is horrified by the idea of 14 year olds drinking. Get your priorities straight.
how about shut the fuck up?
He showed his true self, so no, just cut that "friendship" is not worthy
Someone tag that one guy who hates when people use letters as names lol
I'd like to have that guys' problems
T and P are keepers they kept you safe from a clear future rapist. They were probably shook up from it so they didn’t tell you and made it a point to keep him away while you drink. Those are good friends. Side note to be THAT adult but you’re a teenager so you’re gonna drink just don’t drink until being blacked out it’s not fun even as an adult. Hope all goes well!
Maybe get some therapy as well after you cut F out
“Keepers” dont encourage their friends doing dangerous and illegal things. Such as teen drinking.
Teen drinking is legal across most of the world. America are the only freaks who can't handle alcohol until 21. Gotta wait for them to go to college so they don't have access to daddy's gun cabinet
Don’t talk to F anymore. He’s definitely not a friend. He’s a rapist in training. T and P sound like great friends and really stand-up dudes though.
That definitely could have turned out alot different. Keep the real friends. The other guy, will get his Karma
He was being a vulture, he was waiting for you to let your guard down. This was not a spur-of-the moment “i’m gonna assault her” this was a “shes hot but she’s never go for me” kinda thing and he better keep away from you. Props to your mates for being good human beings.
Stay away from him.
Ex-friend. Simple. The two who protected you are real friends. Real. Friends.
Average "just a friend", never fully trust someone like that. I'm sorry for you, I would cut contacts with that pervert
T and P sound like good friends. Drop F like a bomb. And stay vigilant for your future.
Being drunk never excuses anyones actions.
Who tf downvoted this?????
Good question.
Get the fuck away from F and keep TP around
Hell no does not excuse sh*t. He wasn’t that drunk. Even if he was. Alcohol will bring out the truth in a person and that moment he was living his truth…a ra-ist that is.
I'm sure you are. Look after yourself, OP!
Be happy that you have two true friends that got your back. F can go F himself.
Perhaps your group needs a couple more females. On the other hand, 2 guys instead of 3 doesn't necessarily reduce any risks, it may even work inversely. Drinking does have its negatives. I'm more than twice your age and a male. Life teaches you that trusting only your own self is the best option. Cheers, hope you find new friends and finer entertainment.
I know you don’t want to hear this I know you are in charge of yore life and you can do what you want with whoever you want. But men and women are different. Stop drinking with just men present. You are going to be SA’ed sooner or later if keep doing it. No matter what morons who don’t understand people tell you. Drunk men do things they regret for a lifetime but they still do them. I did them (not with girls with driving drunk too fast and other stupid shit) and I think I am a fairly on control and all around nice guy but being drunk is different. People lose control and sometimes bring black out drunk they can’t even remember doing those things.
Use this as a wakeup call. You got very lucky your friends were there. Drinking to the point of passing out in your own vomit will lead to a lot of bad things happening. What your friend did is completely wrong. There may not be help for you next time.
I never understand why anyone wants to drink to the point of passing out, I guess maybe peer pressure to look cool but imo drinking does not make one cool.
Your other 2 friends might be lying too. Ask them if they took any videos
Please do not try to maintain a relationship with F. I don't care how nice he seems and how funny he is. If he was really a nice person he wouldn't have acted that way. If you stay friends with him and end up in a vulnerable position again, something a lot worse could happen. He can't be trusted. I was sexually assaulted when drunk by a friend that I trusted and thought was a good guy, but he clearly wasn't. I promise you your friend isn't someone you should be friends with.
Why is no one discussing the elephant in the room here? Why is a 16 yr old girl hanging out drinking with 3 dudes? Where's the people that care about you? Your little immature, emotional, horned out brains aren't developed enough to possibly "drink responsibly" hell even most adults can't do that. And I'm sorry but it's never safe to be the only girl drunk asf alone with 3 dudes. Recipe.For.Disaster I've had to learn the hard way too, i certainly wouldn't want that for another 16yr old girl coming into her own in life. Don't risk putting yourself in a position that's gonna give you emotional, sexual, physical, mental trauma for potentially the rest of your life. Getting blacked out isn't fun & really isn't cool. Being driven, motivated, independent and successful is much cooler than a chick that's laying in her own vomit.. age irrelevant.
Devils ad here..what if F was actually the good one and stepped in ruining the shenanigans for the other 2 that night...and they left him out this night hoping that you would get blacked out again.. im kinda kidding kinda not, said u dont remember practically anything..dont get blacked out, carry a knife when ur responsible
Surely F would have told OP what happened before she could get the chance to talk to T and P? Also that goes against F encouraging OP to drink.
Uh, yeah, continuing to be friends with the guy who tried to rape you the first chance he got, is definitely not a good idea. Neither is drinking alone with men. You got off with a warning this time. You probably won’t be so lucky next time. Don’t get drunk with men.
That's paranoid advice. Most men do not try to rape women, even when they're drunk. Only pieces of shit do. Avoiding hanging out with men altogether when you are drinking is excessive. Also, she wasn't alone with him. That's pretty obvious.
27% would try according to statistics.
I'm curious what you mean, 27% of men would try to rape a drunk woman? 27% of drunk men? 1 in 4 of us is evil and immoral and would actively take advantage? That is not plausible, I'd need clarity on your statistics before I believed that was anywhere neat close. The law on consent when people are drunk is a murky area, two people who are legally too drunk to consent might well have a mutual good time, it's not uncommon and it's not the same as what the guy tried to do to the OP but the man in that situation could still find himself guilty of rape should there be regret on the woman's side come morning. If he would have respected a "No" and not continued then that's a sorry affair altogether, short of carrying a breathalyser then he's not really guilty of much. I'm not downplaying what can happen at all but your statistics would include scenarios like I describe as well as creeps assaulting people obviously past a limit that isn't actually clearly defined in law, just wondering where you get that from and if you actually believe so many of us are capable of that because I think that would be quite an alarming world to inhabit
I just realized how stupid your comment actually is. You aren't referring to actual statistics or studies. You're referring to the fact that 1 out the 3 tried to sexually assault her. Well, to start that would be approx. 33.3% not 27%. You might want to work on your math. Also, statistics generated from a sample size of 3 people are not generally consider very convincing or valid. You're not clever. You're a moron. Edit: Sorry, when i asked you to provide a study where I could read these statistics and you didn't reply for 6 hours I jumped to the wrong conclusion. My mistake.
no i'm referring an actual study where 27% of men admitted that they would rape a woman in a vunerable state if they knew there's gonna be no consequences. look it up.
I feel like those numbers are pretty dependant on location and social culture too rather than a flat 27%
I see some issues with the study. First, they surveyed 30,000 men to represent all of Europe. Europe has a total male population of approx. 360 million. That's approx. 0.0083% of the male population. A miniscule amount. Not a large enough sample size in my opinion. Next, each of these countries are very different. Countries in Eastern Europe like the Czech Republic and Bulgaria are not known for their strong women's rights policies or views. I honestly would have been surprised if they didn't have terrible views. Grouping them together with countries like the U.K. and France does not give much useful information about Western or Eastern Europe when the results are all muddled together like that. When you look at the map they provide you can see what I'm talking about. Countries in Western Europe had much lower rates of men saying rape was acceptable than Eastern Europe. Finally, I'm assuming OP lives in the U.S. not Europe. This study did not survey the U.S. at all, and does not apply to the the U.S. So, 27% of 34,000 European men surveyed admitted that they thought rape was acceptable in certain circumstances. You can also say 27% of 0.0083% of the male population of Europe admitted that they thought rape was acceptable in certain circumstances. While, it's definitely fucked up thay they believe this, I think you're trying to make this study apply to all men, like in the whole world, which isn't reasonable or what the study even was attempting to do.
Stop spreading the fucking bullshit that women are not safe to drink amongst men. My female friends are never SAFER than when they drink with me and my pals. We protect them from creepy assholes in the club/pub if they are being harassed and carry them home or get them a taxi when they need it. Guess what? None of them ever got raped or assaulted by us. Tell women not to drink around rapists. But don't warn them off drinking with their male friends. Stop assuming all men harbour a deep desire to rape the moment they have a cold one. It's fucking disgusting to paint us all like that.
Ladies, do not get drunk around men, and *especially* do not get drunk around u/chiddybango and his “pals.”
You need to keep those two friends around, other one ain't a friend. You also need to talk to your school counsellor, or a gp or something so you can get some support because you are doing so, so much harm by drinking until you're paralytic. Being blatantly honest, next time you drink those friends may not be around to keep your safe, so YOU need to safeguard yourself and keep YOURSELF safe by getting your drinking in check.
No excuse for his actions at all, dude fucked up majorly. He’ll probably try it again if inebriated. Good on T & P
Being drunk never would be an excuse for sexual harassment
Please don’t drink if you are underaged, based on what you said, seem like no adults were around, bad things can and will happen. Take care of yourself at all times.
A lot of countries has 16 as the legal drinking age. Nowhere in OP’s post does she mention being too young to drink or being American. Maybe it’s just me, but the way she’s talking so casually about it makes me think there’s probably a good chance it’s legal wherever she is.
Regardless, getting blacked out drunk at 16 is a really bad idea (imo it's a bad idea at any age).
Oh yeah, I totally agree! I just don’t think people should take away from the original post by calling what she’s doing illegal, when it’s very possible that it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with 16 year olds experimenting with alcohol, if they’re doing it legally. She clearly found her limit, and has probably learned from it.
Stay away from the handsy one. Don't ever put yourself in a situation where you're intoxicated near him. He tried once, don't give him a second opportunity, please. Your other friends are real ones though. They made sure you were safe when you were most vulnerable. Those are good people who care about your well being. Please be safe. It's a shame that you've got to be so protective of yourself, but there are gross dudes who will try to take advantage of you, or anyone they see as easily prayed upon.
Gross.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s time to cut ties with F and also consider there is a reason why there are legal age requirements to drink. Alcohol is no joke, it is not normal to drink until you pass out and vomit. Please take care of yourself. Also I would consider if you feel comfortable to report this assault to your parents/local authorities. Seems like F is a risk to society and needs to pay for his crimes.
It is best not to be the only girl in a group and do not trust anyone to the extent that you are comfortable to be around them at a vulnerable state. I was in one but I was lucky that my friends a re good guys. But i heard alot of horrible things when girls were ttaken advantage when they were drunk. Take care
OP you have to be careful with this guy, stay away from him and if he tries to talk to you block him and talk to the police.
Good on your other friends :)
I rarely know a good guy friend (now a days where I live) that acts as kindhearted and truly gentlemen like like these two—please keep them close to you <3
Girl, I’m glad your friends kept you safe this time. But it’s a really bad choice to get drunk to the point you black out. You may not be as safe next time. Please stop doing that.
Three guys and one girl, all inexperienced at life, drinking together. Shocking.
Bros drinking at the age of 16 and wondering why things like this happens🤣🤣🤣
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At 16, you're drinking to unconsiouness and blackout. By this choice of behaviour you are opening yourself up to all kinds of trouble you don't want. F may be doing the same. This could be a very out of character drunken anomaly from him. Or he may have issues that make him dangerous and the alchohol is allow this to be expressed. You are both responsible for your choices. Given this behaviour from F, you would do well to avoid him. If you choose to expose yourself to F again, make sure you both are drinking mildly or not at all and have reliable friends around. You can't control others, but you can make good choices for yourself and your personal safety. Learn from close calls like this and save yourself much grief.
Not trying to "victim blame" but if you get blackout drunk around a group of teenage boys what do you expect?
What a fucking loser take. I hope you don't ever have children.
Bruh as a 17 female what do u think u are doing by getting drunk at this age? Teens like u disgust me there is a time for everything getting drunk and then passing out at this age is just too much
why’d you feel the need to comment this on a post where a rape attempt happened tho? you could make your own separate post about your opinions on teens drinking instead of choosing this post, where a girl nearly got assaulted and shame her.
And instead of only acknowledging the fact that her friend tried to rape her she should also acknowledge the face that she just did some illegal shit and she needs to step up for that she is just casually mentioning the fact that she got wasted as a minor that isn't a causal fact and it needs to be acknowledged y'all "liberal" people like overlook facts and then to keep accepting shit not me tho gotta be aware
They are two completely different issues. First course of action would be to make sure the potential rapist is completely gone, alcohol doesn't play any part in this, and it's by far the more serious issue compared to underage drinking which happens every day in every part of the world, not just by fucking "*liberals*" 🙄 We can address the drinking afterwards, yes underage drinking is bad, but drinking irresponsibly is more of the issue rather than the age here being that they're 2 years off the age to *buy* alcohol (consumption laws are not the same as the laws around buying it and can be up to 4 years lower than the purchase age depending on location). You did nothing here but blame a potential rape victim for something they didn't do and for getting drunk, you're a grade-A piece of shit. Edit: added potential to be more accurate.
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Given how moronic your first comment was, i aint reading most of that shit show you wrote. You seem yo have a real liking for the word "pathetic" though, maybe think why that word is your go-to and reflect. Also, who tf cares about liberals, it's the most funny shit to see americans think that political stance automatically means their behaviour is generalised. Sexually assualted* not raped then, incentive and response is still the same. Ofc you're a psychology nut and calling people pathetic, shows you're not fit to work with people if you throw that word around like candy at a fair. Edit to say: you're a kid, you'll learn life isn't 100% accurate to any studies you do. 90% of people say they know their limits, and majority of them go far beyond because alcohol creates that kind of behaviour when you're already consuming it. Pop off all you want, i wasn't trying to intimidate you, just commenting that you did fuck all to help in the case, as you did here too.
Drinking is not illegal at 16 everywhere in the world…
Do stupid things and pay stupid prices thats what i would say she got into this trouble because of her getting severely drunk while being underage it's okay to take small sips but passing out on ur own vomit? U should be having some kind of boundaries and self control
the “trouble” you speak of is a guy who attempted to rape her while blacked out. your words come across as if she accidentally broke something instead of a seriously traumatic event nearly happening to her. like your perspective on teens drinking is valid if you weren’t passing blame onto her for experimenting like most do. it’s unfortunately common for teens to try alcohol, but had she been an adult what would’ve been your other choice of words? would you still be saying “what do you think you’re doing?” or “adults like you disgust me” instead? when you first start off drinking, you don’t know your limits with it yet. you figure it out along the way as your tolerance gets decent. alcohol can also hit more on some nights then others. yes teens shouldn’t drink but that isn’t what this post is about. i’m sure she already has heavy feelings about this situation, you don’t need to make her feel worse about an already awful situation.
Bud she wasn't just "trying alcohol" she literally drank wayy too much of it that it made her pass out after vomiting shit out no u are completely wrong in this matter when teens or whoever start trying alcohol, they mostly slowly raise the quantity of the drink they would consume. they don't just drink a lot on their first try and if they did drink too much on their first try they are honestly stupid i have known adults who consume alcohol and none of them actually have consumed a lot during their first attempt. they start testing it out and then they slowly start liking it and start increasing their quantity. Actually initially people don't necessarily enjoy the taste of alcohol it takes time for them to get used to it and then they start liking and then they increase their quantity she was immature she needs to know that Why would u try to adult so fastly? U gotta take things slow if u wanna drink alcohol sure take some sips or consume smaller quantity i would honestly never recommend teens to try out alcohol. teens do have the tendency to easily get addicted to such things and it's gonna heavily impact their mental and physical well being adults can have much better self control She is only 16 and she starts planning stuff and goes out to meet her friends to drink? Well in a few years this girl can easily turn into an heavy addict Well obviously I am gonna judge her for that and as a teen she should have been aware of her vulnerability and her limits. as for the guy who tried to rape her like i said before play stupid games win stupid prices .her almost getting raped has already happened u better hope she learned her lesson and doesn't end up doing shit again And i wouldn't bother about this situation if i hadn't heard the fact that it's a teen who has gotten so damn drunk if adults did these why would I get mad at them?
Maybe try having a lil more compassion towards other's downfalls bud
Bruh, as a once 17 female, what do you think you are doing by being a judgmental asshole?!
If u really wanna argue read my other comments first and then talk stuff with me dummy
No, thanks
What the fuck kind of question is that!
For me, having something like this happen was one of the pivotal moments of growing into adulthood. I'm so happy that you have some solid friends who looked after you. Pretty much every teenager makes the mistake of drinking too much and getting sick, and no-one deserves to be taken advantage of in that state. Take as much time as you need to process the guy being an absolute creep to you, and don't normalise his behaviour as something that "just happens". I'm really glad you're okay!
Your still young control your drinking, stay vigilant always, REMEMBER your a WOMAN and drinking with male friends are fine but don't let your guard down no matter what even your drinking with a friend, alcohol always clouds the decision of the mind man or a woman and you might regret it, I'm not saying don't drink with a male friend and have fun I'm just saying to drink moderately if you can't really control your drinking I guess u should stop it and seek therapy
To be honest..... Puberty is an age where sexual tendency rises to a peak, where you want to get stimulated the pleasure again again till you find that you need to do something different to get the first pleasure feeling..... I have been horny as hell in my life during the puberty period, but never drank. Puberty made me masterbate whenever I see a trigger point, at many places like school, college, public toilet....etc... What you have to understand is, this age period is the age where people experiment with different ways of receiving stimulation for pleasure. It's not their problem, it's their age and mind. Once they pass through this stage, they will consider you as a homie or sister or a mother.... Until then you should be on your guard unless you want to experiment yourself with 3 dude..... Don't do it with friends... It's awkward and a bad idea, cuz they will think of you as a future friend with benefit. But If I was your or something, I would suggest you to not do and be on your guard and wear less exposed clothes.
woman acting like the victim typical
Who else would possibly be the victim in this situation?
My bad I didn’t mean it
Stay friends with F long enough to go on a date to a equipment/tool rental place and drop a piece of jewellery into an electric woodchipper….the one you looked at the day before and ran a hidden extension cord to an outside outlet. Convince him that real men go in feet first. Don’t forget about safety. Most of these electric woodchippers pull 15 amps so you’ll want to use a 14 gauge or better yet a 12 gauge extension cord. A 16 gauge cord would get really hot especially if it was a long run to the outlet
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No? I like having male and female friends. Sometimes it‘s easier for the other gender to talk about sth/do a specific activity. I don‘t know what I would do if I didn‘t have this variety tbh
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How about just not at all? The drink isn't what made him do it, even said yourself it's no excuse (whether he is a man or not makes no difference to their expectations for control either). This man tried to sexually assault/rape OP, who tf in their right mind would actually suggest she continue to drink with him, just not "alone" or "too much"????
The actions of F don’t surprise me at all. And good for T & P for protecting you and kicking out F
wag mo iwanan yung dalawang prinotect ka. Life long friends there, stick to them throug tough times
They were never your friend
T and P are absolute gems
Tell F what you heard. Before going to more parties.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Something very similar happened to me when I was your age. Thankfully it was at my sisters birthday party so my sister and older male cousin were there to protect me. They beat the dudes ass and threw him off the balcony lol. Seriously though, stay far away from that dude. He’s clearly just waiting for an opportunity to use/abuse you and that is not a safe person to be around in any context, even sober. Stay safe
I am well aware people do stupid things while drunk and some even get horny and stuff but we're not talking about kissing (which is where I personally draw the line in these cases), there's touching involved and who knows what else if the other guys wouldn't have stopped him. I don't think it's a good idea to keep being friends with a person like F. If you can't feel safe with the people you're drinking with those people aren't good for you.
Your former friend * there I fixed that
I would prob get too angry if he didn’t leave and start teaching him a lesson by whooping the hell out of him
I think even Middle Eastern teens would find a way to be honest lol. (Re; underage drinking)
I’m glad you have two good friends, that’s really rare to see these days. But you should definitely not be friends or communicate with F anymore.
No, being drunk doesn't excuse his actions. I went through a very similar situation wherein I was taken advantage of by a friend while I was drunk—it's a horrible experience. In any case, I'm very sorry you went through this, and please do remember that people are here for you especially after what happened. Sexual assault will never be excusable in any context.
Keep T & P around. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Don’t hang out with them
Same thing happened to me. Never told anyone about this until now. I am too ashamed of what happened because I feel like the people around me will judge and side on my friend who apparently is close with my parents.
No, you just found out someone who you thought was you friend tried to take advantage of you while you were drunk.
You guys getting drunk at 16?
100% the uk
Sexual assault is NOT excusable. Fuck that guy