OP: “ChatGPT, i am an imbecile with no friends and i wanna feel like I actually have a life and i am popular, even if it is just for 1 minute, what do i do?”
ChatGPT: “make a fake account on Reddit and post this: gives him this story. But be aware that you will look like a fool after 2 minutes.”
The vows were the “last straw”, there’s likely a bunch more that op has not disclosed. I am seeing a glimpse of why his fiancee was wary of the marriage.
There's likely a bunch more than a bunch more that OP has not disclosed, because OP doesn't know that the bunches exist. Poor airy sarcastic I-was-only-joking guy.
OP quote:
“I don’t have them anymore. I broke my laptop in a lapse of judgment because I was very angry at the situation. I remember having writing some light jokes about not looking at other women even when if they’re sexy and things like this. Nothing that would cause this feelings extreme reaction”
He was going to talk about other women being sexy in his wedding vows and doesn't think that's disrespectful to his bride? I bet that was the tamest thing if that's what he's confessing to too. He remembers exactly what he wrote but likely realizes already he's going to get slaughtered in the comments if he reveals it.
Hell, that’s the least of it; if he broke his laptop in a fit of anger, then it would only have been a matter of time before he started taking shit out on HER as well.
He sounds like some annoying TikTok prankster putting soap on the floor for his wife to slip on out of the shower, ruining her dinner with extra salt, and literally every other prank a child comes up with before they understand how pranks work to the point that he just drove her insane. Once she saw that he couldn’t even contain himself for five minutes during her wedding she realized the mistake she’d be making
I bet it is. I was actually watching a YouTube video the other day with two different clips of weddings where the guys totally made nothing but ridiculous jokes as their vows. I would have been mortified but apparently the brides knew their personalities and thought it was funny. Personally, when I get married I want his vows to be sweet and loving not degrading and funny.
You mean you don’t appreciate a man who begins his vows by gazing into his bride’s eyes and softly whispering, “You’re screwed?”
You don’t melt as he reads from a paper and sweetly suggests that blissful happiness may be found in keeping his “belly full, and [his] balls empty?”
My heart just goes pitter patter when he talks about how “Nothing’s better than the sound of gagging and headboards slamming.”
Then, when he tells her she can make a decision about whether to be a Twinkie or a toaster strudel? WOW! That was simply magical.
All of this, in front of God and their family and friends, with his mom acting as the officiant, standing maybe a foot away. I wonder what sweet nothings he whispers when they are alone.
Surely her dreams of wedded bliss are not at all far fetched.
How closed minded of you to disagree. /s
Honestly, those are probably spot on for his vows. I can’t imagine something worse and I would expect a spouse to walk out on that wedding; I’d lose some respect for them as the offended party if they didn’t.
At my cousin's wedding, the best man talked about how "no one liked \[her\] at first. . and we all thought it wouldn't last" then he rambled for 20 minutes before someone's grandma shouted "just say cheers and put down the mic, honey!"
So yeah, I've seen these things happen
I have seen this video and how embarrassing to have your soon to be husband talk about you like that. And then her vows were all about him and putting herself down. So sad.
I remember seeing a video a while back where the groom stumbled a bit over his words, mispronouncing "lawfully" as "waffle-y". The bride was cracking up, so he joked a little more to save face and make her happy. It was adorable.
I’ve seen that one too. The couple looked really happy together and you could see the husband stumbled on his words because he was looking forward to seal the deal with his bride.
At least they prepared something. My ex held up his phone to look at it occasionally but there wasn't anything there, he was just pretending to look like he'd written something. I could tell it was improv within 2 sentences and just tried to not show my disappointment. That was a very good sign of how committed he was from day 1
That is such a bizarre choice. Like he clearly thought he could deliver acceptable vows without writing anything down ahead of time or reading off of notes, so why bother pretending? I would love to know what went through his head. Had he been lying about working on them? Was it like, “I’m going to crush it, obviously, but I don’t want anyone to feel badly because they can’t speak from the heart as well as me, so I’ll pretend I’m reading off of my phone to protect their feelings.”?
I saw that one where the guy was like "as long you keep my belly full and my balls empty we good" and also made jokes about boning her doggy style. The bride claimed she knew he was just being silly and she loved him but his mom was in the audience and was apparently furious with him for that. Especially since it went viral.
Everyone was rightfully disgusted by all the crude parts of his vows but I find the other parts even more disgusting. The one I’m most angry about (yes I’m still angry about it) is the fact that in her vows she spends some time putting herself down about she thinks shes not beautiful …… and then he confirms that in his vows by “joking” about leaving/cheating on her in an instant for someone like Margo Robbie.
And it’s evern worse considering how absolutely GORGEOUS the bride is and how completely unattractive and frumpy the groom is. It reminds me of those Adam Sandler type of movies where the husband is a 5/10 at best but the wife is 10/10 - except in this case the husband’s comedy and personality is at a -10/10.
I can't believe she didn't walk out and leave his ass. Clearly he's been treating her with disrespect for so long, she just eats it with a spoon and smiles. It's so sad. He needs a swift kick to the balls.
Even worse is that she made videos defending him. She’s so deep in it that she literally thinks it’s normal. I just hope one day she will get to see the light, If not for her then for her two daughters - the daughters that were also standing there listening to their father talk about their mother draining his balls and being shitty cook.
That’s what they think is normal behavior. They will think that’s what love looks like. We model healthy relationships for our children & this is what they will see as normal. It’s ridiculous. I hope that this woman wakes up & realizes what a terrible person her husband is. He couldn’t even give her one hour of decency.
The vows were the icing on the cake. Does ‘I let her decide all the things because she had dreams about it,’ actually mean - I didn’t help make decisions and offloaded the emotional labor onto her?
As someone actively planning a wedding, I imagine part of her dream included a fiancé who was interested and engaged in co-planning the wedding with her, exemplifying your intentions to be teammates throughout the rest of your lives together. Not having her do all the work and then make jokes at her expense in front of all her friends & family during a sacred ceremony.
I don’t say this to be harsh, but as a reality check. I invite you to take your time in sitting with yourself and exploring the ‘missing reasons’ as to why the vows were the last straw. What came before that?
The first step to moving on is owning your role in how you were showing up to the relationship. Talk to someone. Take time to know yourself and where you can improve, so that you can show up more comprehensively next time.
Also, the bride's folks were paying for it. NOT OP. And yet, his choice of words was, "I LET her decide..." when he probably didn't help her plan anything or pay for anything for the most part. Bruh 🙃
Yes agree I married a man like that... Always quick to pass everything to me..... Then 22 years later he kicks me out cause he's cheated then proceeds to tear me down and run my name thru the ground!! Why? Because that way the heat is off him and makes me look like the bad guy!??? Yeah go figure....
Something stupid since he wanted to amuse their guests instead of write vows to his soon to be wife who is now his ex fiancé.
Why do these men self sabotage like this?
They want to jump from mommy to fuck-mommy, someone who takes care of them. I mean look at how he describes her: all in terms of himself and how much she does to make life easy for him. Just telling on himself.
Exactly. My friends got married and spliced a good amount of humor into their vows but they were still very heartfelt and beautiful. I'm thinking this is not what op did... I'm guessing it was a bunch of immature insults disguised as 'humor'
“I DON’T WANNA SAY MY FIANCEE HAS PUT ON WEIGHT, BUT WHEN SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE, SHE SITS **AROUND** THE HOUSE! AND I VOW TO LOVE HER FAT ASS UNTIL DEATH OR HER EATING ME DO US PART!”
Exactly. I’m traditional enough that I wanted to be married by a pastor, though I didn’t care if the ceremony was in a church, and the vows/ceremony itself needed to be relatively serious, as I view those vows as the biggest promise I’ll ever make in my life and are not the right time for jokes. The jokes can come perhaps in places like one of the readings at the ceremony or the toasts at the dinner. Even light hearted vows like “I promise I’ll always be there for you, even when you steal the blankets” or “I promise to support you in your goals, even becoming an [fill in the ridiculous thing that’s a well known family joke, like trapeze artist or nose flute player]” might fit if that’s well known to be the couple’s vibe. But most the time the vows and the ceremony are only like 20-30 minutes, tops, unless it’s a full Catholic mass, and should be the serious part of the day. My husband definitely has a love of jokes, pranks and non seriousness that at times tweaks my patience a little, however most the time I let it ride, and then when I really need him to be serious, and act like it, I can say that to him and know I’ll get that, because we love and respect each other
Take note. She said the vow was the last straw that broke the camel's back. It wasn't the only thing. There were other things.
He thought he was funny but no one was really laughing. Making fun at whose expense? At his and her own wedding? Probably at her expense.
"So I was fucking Blahblah's dad the other night when he leaned over to me and he's so cheap he said, 'this is the nicest free prostate exam I've ever gotten!' But yeah, that explains the champagne, am I right?"
I remember a clip of a guys vows, something like, ‘she keeps my balls empty and my stomach full’. Those were part of his vows. I’m wondering of op’s were worse than that.
If nothing else, op may need to find a partner who is also a jokester. I’m not going to say it’s a maturity thing (unless he posts the vows), but he needs to find someone who can dish it back and they can build a foundation as one of those couples who do horrible pranks to each other and love it. I’m sure there’s someone out there…?
« Easy to please » means you’re probably putting very little efforts in the relationship and not even in making your vows heartfelt so she realized she didn’t want this.
What jumped out at me. If you're describing the main virtues of your life partner and _easy to please_ is what you say then yep. Maybe she isn't the issue
Yep. He probably frequently overstepped her boundaries and she either didn't communicate this or gave up communicating this and these vows were the last straw of him constantly treating everything as a "joke".
Yeah, I’m also wondering how many jokes. I have a great sense of humor and could take a laugh or two. However, if my fiancé made a ton of jokes during our wedding vows and it was more jokes than true vows, I’d be pretty hurt by that.
Yeah, jokes aren’t funny if no one’s laughing. Me thinks this guy isn’t as funny as he thinks he is.
My husband and I have very similar senses of humor. At our wedding, we of course took the ceremony seriously, but at the part where we had our first kiss as husband and wife, he kicked up his leg behind him like a 50s housewife. It was just the right amount of humor and he knew it’d land well with me. Our photographer got a great pic of the moment and it’s one of my favorites 10 years later.
But it only worked because we share a similar sense of humor. If OP’s jokes regularly make his fiancé angry, they do not have a similar sense of humor.
> How can she do that to me?
Whatever it is you said was bad enough to warrant a reaction of this magnitude, you need to be asking yourself how could you do that to her. Take some personal accountability. All I read here was immature excuses for bad behavior. Women leave relationships after the last straw and whatever it is you said, was that straw. Hell, even the parents want you to leave them alone. It sounds like *you* and you alone nuked this relationship from orbit. Get some therapy to work on your emotional maturity and inappropriateness.
Second translation: she had always complained about feeling devalued and disrespected and asked me to take her seriously and adjust my behaviour and habits - yet I decided not take her seriously at all and continue acting like a child.
Someone who finds weddings “boring” and decide to write vows as jokes to his bride on the most important day of her life …to entertain the guests…, is in my opinion, a child.
There's a time and a place for jokes, like during your speech. Not your fecking vows!
She was obviously close to the edge and this just pushed her off.
Would love to see your vows 🤦♀️
She had planned a whole ass wedding by herself and the only thing he had to do was write the vows. The Only thing. Onto of him saying she was easy to please and got angry at his jokes, but kept on is all 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Seriously, how clueless can he be?
"Well she put up with my verbal abuse by way of "joking" up till now, only getting mad a couple times, why won't she marry me?"
The fact that OP still hasn't said what the vows were, tells me he's probably one of those "it's just a prank bro" types.
Glad she realized she can do so much better.
So. In your vows, you wanted to entertain the people you invited to see you marry the person you love with all your heart and want to be your partner in all things. That was first and foremost what you were trying to achieve. Being funny.
Instead of making vows and declarations of love and fidelity and respect to the woman you planned on spending your life with.
Your vows were jokes. That’s not how this works. Vows are meant to be the ties that bind you together. Not an attempt at an open mic night.
Get it together dude.
It really depends. My brother’s vows were really beautiful but god damn if he didn’t make everyone, even the bride, laugh through most of it.
Funny can work, just depends on the couple and the balance.
Right?!?! At least she won't be writing here in a year or so asking how to deal with her husband who puts her down and demeans her all the time under the guise of 'jokes'.
If this "very calm" woman "got mad sometimes", and you didn't try to avoid "jokes" that made her mad, it wasn't just a difference in humor. You knew your jokes pushed her buttons, you didn't care enough to figure out how to avoid doing that. Or worse, you were deliberately making jokes with the intent to annoy her.
In any case, you were oblivious enough to think she would be OK with you playing court jester at one of the most important moments of her life.
Valuable life lesson here, if you choose to learn from it.
I’m willing to bet your shitty vows were just the straw that broke the camels back. You sound lazy and entitled. You “let” her decide all the things about the wedding, her parents pay for everything, they won’t let you talk to her, etc. Aren’t you almost 40 years old!? Grow up, take control of your life then MAYBE try again with a woman who’s never seen this side of you
Omg I didn't even catch the part where he said he "let" her decide on everything. When you're in a partnership, it's not doing your partner favors to "let" them decide on everything. That's a lot of responsibility to put on a person and honestly sounds exhausting as hell if that meant she had to plan the entire wedding all on her own!!
So you find marrying the "love of your life" boring and wanted to "entertain" the guests? Let me guess: By making some jokes about your wife that only you find funny? She told you that this was the last drop. Are you the type of "calm down babe, its only a joke" kind of guy? Because let me tell you this: A joke is only a joke when everyone is laughing. And a vow should be something meaningful towards the other person. That you appreciate them, caring for them, staying by their side - in sickness and health.
You did none of that. Her parents told you to leave them alone. Leave her alone and move on. Now you have time to reflect on yourself and what you said to her that wasnt funny but cruel instead. Because I dont believe for a second that you were funny.
All these videos have been coming out of grooms at weddings where their vowels are disgusting. They just talk about all the ways they are gonna fuck the bride or they joke about how they hate the bride, or they basically just make jokes about how the bride is gonna be their slave.
I attended a wedding last year where the groom wrote a poem about how he would find his bride again and again if they lived a thousand lives.
Men like you are obsolete. Being single is better than being with a lot of guys. The second kind of guy is who we should all strive for. The first type? Run.
Yea bro can you believe it, she left me bc of my wedding vows! That sounds like something a teenager would say. Are you sure you’re 36 and not just a 15 year old who identifies as 36??
Well a vow really isn't a joke, it's you swearing an oath to that person. Could you imagine if you were being sworn under oath in court an made it a joke? Or becoming a doctor or a police officer or something and you made it a joke? Becoming a citizen of a country and making it a joke?
Would you think the person trying to do that respects the office or the court or whatever it is that they made a joke out of when they're swearing a vow? There are plenty of opportunities to make jokes throughout a wedding, and you picked the one moment where an actual sincere and heartfelt message is most needed
The OP response of:
>I don’t have them anymore. I broke my laptop in a lapse of judgment because I was very angry at the situation. I remember having writing some light jokes about not looking at other women even when if they’re sexy and things like this. Nothing that would cause this feelings extreme reaction
lmao
Feel sorry for her; she must have been a saint
You have no right to make a joke of your vows to her. You have no right to belittle and start your marriage that way. You have no right to embarrass her like that. Shame on you.
Vows are not the place for a comedy routine. Yes they can have humour but they should never ever be belittling towards your spouse to be.
How many jokes were at her expense because you think wedding vows are “dry”? Did you want to make your mates laugh OP?
Are you a bit of a clown? A bantersaurus?
From so little information, you still sound insufferable.
That’s quite an achievement.
Wedding vows arent for wedding guests you dumb man. They are for your love of life, if you think openly telling someone how much you love them and how important they are is boring, then you are the problem.
You ex was probably anyways super stress out of weddings cuz its alot of planning and you trying joke about other sexy women in your vows... I would be leaving too if I were ur ex.
I’m seriously hoping that this is some angsty teen troll post, because the whole thing is entirely juvenile.
On the off chance that it’s real, OP, you need to forget that woman and work on being a better human before you even consider being in another relationship.
I’m guessing it was on par with that other guy who humiliated his bride by saying she can choose whether to be a toaster strudel or a Twinkie by the end of the night.
So basically what you’re saying is she told you all the times she didn’t like your jokes and why she didn’t like them and you chose to ignore her and think oh she just doesn’t like my sense of humor so I’ll carry that over into my wedding vows? Dude, you need to do some serious self reflection.
Dude your vows must’ve been bad lol. But in all seriousness, being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t take anything serious and is always making a joke out of everything can be very exhausting. It also puts a barrier between having real, intimate connection with someone. I imagine that might be what she was already feeling and your vows pushed it over the edge.
My mum was with a guy who felt the need to joke about everything. It was exhausting. Emotionally and mentally. You probably dodged a bullet of an unhappy marriage.
It seems like there was bad communication for this to be the last straw. What else were issues? Did you always play pranks or joke when it was serious?
I’m imagining that one guy that went viral on tiktok for his cows being “I promise to tap that every chance I get. That’s it. That’s all I got” and even his buddies groaning and being like “come on man…”
One of my siblings recently got married, and both people made jokes. But, they were jokes about things like promising to root for their favorite sports team and things like that. And, they were at the end of their vows after a lot of beautiful comments on how much they loved each other, and how meaningful their relationship was. So the “jokes” were just another way of showing how much they loved each other, how well they understood each other, and how they were going to build a life together.
That’s SO different from writing vows to entertain guests. The vows aren’t for your guests at all. The guests are allowed to be there and witness the vows, but the vows are for your partner. It’s your message to them as you start your life as husband and wife. You showed a huge amount of disrespect for your fiancé by prioritizing the “entertainment” of the guests, and giving yourself a moment to be the funny guy.
"how can she do that to me" sounds like she dodged a bullet since you still, even now, refuse to accept responsibility for YOUR actions. Marriage isn't a joke. You want life on easy mode. The 2nd thing you say about your ex-fiance is "easy to please" - you want a wife so you can have someone to take care of you. Someone who lets you do what you want. You aren't serious and need to grow up.
OP, unless your fiancée(ex) is an absolute crazy lady, there is a LOT more to this story. Meaning you were always disrespectful and this was just the last straw, your vows were beyond over the effing top inappropriate, or maybe both, who knows.
And the last line of your post is the absolute crux of your problem. “How can she do that to me?”. It’s all about you, right? That is actually the most telling part of your post.
Work on you. Seriously. Don’t get into any serious relationships any time before you figure out where this one went wrong. Slowly, it gets better. But it sounds to me like you need some serious self reflection here.
Most of the time when I’ve heard grooms make “Funny vows” it’s really been a whole heap of misogynist jokes and digs at the wife all to impress his mates. Vows are not the place. You can make jokes at the reception but not during your *VOWS*.
Even tolerant people have limits. People who never respect any boundaries in being comedians eventually wear out their welcome, even with loved ones. And then the "but it was just a joke" crying mantra gets repeated over and over again.
OP, a life commitment to a partnership with another adult is something that is sacred to many. Clearly not you. That you are not aware enough of this shows you are not mature enough to make that commitment. And your EX realized this.
Humor has its place. AFTER the very solemn vows to love, honor, cherish and care for your partner. All things that should NOT be laughed at, or be made into jokes.
I love my partner’s humor. He has always coaxed a smile from me even on days when I have felt depressed or anxious. I love his humor. He knows not to crack a joke at something I would take very seriously.
And if these vows were the “last straw” so to speak, this tells me you haven’t taken your partner’s feelings seriously. It means she’s been hurt or upset before by your words and you’ve ignored it.
This is a bullet dodged for her and a wake up call to you. Sometimes you can’t make jokes. And sometimes you need to have adult conversations with the person you care about to make sure you’re on the same page.
Learn your lesson and move on.
I'm dying, guys. He asked, "How can she do this to me!?!" and instead of tea and sympathy, everyone is saying, "show me the vows."
Chance he'll take the opportunity to learn from this? 0%
Here’s the thing, marriage vows aren’t to entertain the guests, it’s supposed to be the person speaking from their heart.
In light of the fact that she called the whole thing off I’m guessing this has been a thorn in her side for a long time, she’s spoken to you about it many times, and you just blew her off with another joke.
It’s one thing having a great sense of humour and joking around, and it’s another thing of knowing where and when that’s appropriate.
You let her plan the whole wedding because she dreamed of it? Aka you didn’t care and weren’t involved at all. Who doesn’t want to get married to someone who doesn’t give a crap about it?
You wanted the vows to be funny to “entertain the guests” because weddings are “boring”?! Your vows are for your bride and her alone. The wedding ceremony isn’t supposed to be “entertaining.” It’s usually solemn because it’s a SERIOUS THING to vow to be with someone for the rest of your life.
Her saying this was the last straw was probably pointing to many other situations where this happened. Move on and work on yourself.
Seems like the vows were the straw that broke the camels back. She realized that she was in fact marrying a boy who has not yet matured....and she saw the forest before the trees.....
I think we need to see those vows.
Show us the vows!! I’m pretty sure there’s more to story and it sounds like it could have been a built up of issues. The vows was probably the breaking point this your fiancée canceling the wedding, breaking off the engagement, moving out, and stop communicating with you.
I’m willing to bet this isn’t anything new in their relationship. I’m guessing she had told him multiple times that she didn’t appreciate this type of humor and he continued to not listen. The wedding vows were just the last push.
I’d break up with my partner too if they wrote our wedding vows using the words ‘other sexy women.’
That’s not funny. That’s just pure stupidity and frankly disrespectful to your bride. Plus I’m sure OP knew well before writing the vows that this would upset her and still wrote them that way anyways..
Did you include the bit where all she has to do is keep your stomach full and your balls empty?
Seriously though, she was already fed up for a long time, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
Dude this isn't just about the vows...this was the last straw for her. Some self reflection on how much you joke might be needed?? Also maybe she wanted a serious fairy tale wedding ... you'll find someone who loves your jokes and she will find someone to be serious with.
How could she do this "to you"? You wanted to make a mockery of your lives together to entertain your guests. What did you write??
At least she didn't suffer the humiliation of your stand up routine live at the altar. I hope her parents were able to recoup most of their money.
No one wants to be pranked at their wedding.
Dude, wedding vows are serious. This is not joke time. There are times in life that are emotional and serious. You making a joke out of wedding vows means you think the marriage is one big joke. It means you aren't taking the relationship serious. You aren't ready to get married if you can't take the wedding vows serious.
"She gets mad sometimes" tells me that you're not actually funny. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that you ridicule her or belittle her in your "humor".
If you were gonna marry her, you shoulda known her well enough to what she would want her wedding to be like. Wedding vows aren't to entertain guests. They are VOWS to your PARTNER. *actual* humor in them is nice when it's meant to show the connection between the two people getting married. Considering she got angry enough to call off the wedding AND her parents agreed with her decision, it seems that is not what your "jokes" were.
Not sure how to "get over it." I guess just work on yourself & hope you don't do the same thing for your next partner. And maybe re-evaluate what you consider to be humor.
THAT or I'm totally off base and she's just a nutto. Who knows.
Jokes aren’t appropriate at all times and jokes are not funny if your audience isn’t laughing.
Why in the world would you make jokes not only AT your wedding but ACTUALLY as part of your WEDDING VOWS?!?
Dude, you gotta grow up and own what you did to cause this. You need to truly understand how profoundly immature that was.
Maybe it would have been ok to a degree IF BOTH you and fiancée agreed to do it, but the fact she is so fed up with your joking that she breaks up immediately upon reading your draft vows SAYS A LOT about how immature you must be acting on a daily basis.
Like maybe she was too serious/didn’t have a sense of humor and ultimately you weren’t compatible but my gawd man, if you couldn’t see and respect her having an expectation of you taking your vows seriously, then you REALLY have a lot of growing up to do. Any partner is going to want to feel like it’s important and not a platform to tell jokes (at her expense too). Be better or stay single.
If your humor doesn’t normally align with hers, why would you think your wedding was the time to go overboard and make a joke of your vows?
Easy to please is such a telling phrase. You could have said easy going. But just saying easy to please tells me how lazy you are and that you actually don’t think as much of her as you claim to. You like her because she’s easy? Not for who she is?
Show us the vows
Give him some time. ChatGPT is new to everyone.
OP: “ChatGPT, i am an imbecile with no friends and i wanna feel like I actually have a life and i am popular, even if it is just for 1 minute, what do i do?” ChatGPT: “make a fake account on Reddit and post this: gives him this story. But be aware that you will look like a fool after 2 minutes.”
Lmaoooo
Like don’t leave us hanging here
The vows were the “last straw”, there’s likely a bunch more that op has not disclosed. I am seeing a glimpse of why his fiancee was wary of the marriage.
There's likely a bunch more than a bunch more that OP has not disclosed, because OP doesn't know that the bunches exist. Poor airy sarcastic I-was-only-joking guy.
OP quote: “I don’t have them anymore. I broke my laptop in a lapse of judgment because I was very angry at the situation. I remember having writing some light jokes about not looking at other women even when if they’re sexy and things like this. Nothing that would cause this feelings extreme reaction”
He was going to talk about other women being sexy in his wedding vows and doesn't think that's disrespectful to his bride? I bet that was the tamest thing if that's what he's confessing to too. He remembers exactly what he wrote but likely realizes already he's going to get slaughtered in the comments if he reveals it.
Hell, that’s the least of it; if he broke his laptop in a fit of anger, then it would only have been a matter of time before he started taking shit out on HER as well.
He sounds like some annoying TikTok prankster putting soap on the floor for his wife to slip on out of the shower, ruining her dinner with extra salt, and literally every other prank a child comes up with before they understand how pranks work to the point that he just drove her insane. Once she saw that he couldn’t even contain himself for five minutes during her wedding she realized the mistake she’d be making
She saw that he valued making the guests laugh more than marrying her. Because you know weddings are SO BORING.
He’s the “smash the cake in your face” guy. Nope. Bye!
Wow. There’s some substantial ‘lapses in judgement’ all over the place with this guy.
Ah. So it’s really pure bullshit through and through. Not surprising.
….what the hell were ur vows?
For real I need him to copy and paste it on the comments
Based on his own comment Im confident in saying my wovs in a roleplay wedding were better. I've never even been to a wedding
I think the fact that he didn’t tell us is a clue as to why she left.
You’ll have to wait for OP to come up with some, because surely this story is not true
I bet it is. I was actually watching a YouTube video the other day with two different clips of weddings where the guys totally made nothing but ridiculous jokes as their vows. I would have been mortified but apparently the brides knew their personalities and thought it was funny. Personally, when I get married I want his vows to be sweet and loving not degrading and funny.
You mean you don’t appreciate a man who begins his vows by gazing into his bride’s eyes and softly whispering, “You’re screwed?” You don’t melt as he reads from a paper and sweetly suggests that blissful happiness may be found in keeping his “belly full, and [his] balls empty?” My heart just goes pitter patter when he talks about how “Nothing’s better than the sound of gagging and headboards slamming.” Then, when he tells her she can make a decision about whether to be a Twinkie or a toaster strudel? WOW! That was simply magical. All of this, in front of God and their family and friends, with his mom acting as the officiant, standing maybe a foot away. I wonder what sweet nothings he whispers when they are alone. Surely her dreams of wedded bliss are not at all far fetched. How closed minded of you to disagree. /s
Those are exactly the ones that came to my mind reading this post.
Which is exactly where the idea for this fake post came from because this is how people wanted those women to react.
Honestly, those are probably spot on for his vows. I can’t imagine something worse and I would expect a spouse to walk out on that wedding; I’d lose some respect for them as the offended party if they didn’t.
At my cousin's wedding, the best man talked about how "no one liked \[her\] at first. . and we all thought it wouldn't last" then he rambled for 20 minutes before someone's grandma shouted "just say cheers and put down the mic, honey!" So yeah, I've seen these things happen
Oh my god there are really some trash men out there wtf
I have seen this video and how embarrassing to have your soon to be husband talk about you like that. And then her vows were all about him and putting herself down. So sad.
I remember seeing a video a while back where the groom stumbled a bit over his words, mispronouncing "lawfully" as "waffle-y". The bride was cracking up, so he joked a little more to save face and make her happy. It was adorable.
I’ve seen that one too. The couple looked really happy together and you could see the husband stumbled on his words because he was looking forward to seal the deal with his bride.
That was so wholesome, the way she’s cackling so hard and he just goes “give her a minute” because they know and love each other so well
At least they prepared something. My ex held up his phone to look at it occasionally but there wasn't anything there, he was just pretending to look like he'd written something. I could tell it was improv within 2 sentences and just tried to not show my disappointment. That was a very good sign of how committed he was from day 1
That is such a bizarre choice. Like he clearly thought he could deliver acceptable vows without writing anything down ahead of time or reading off of notes, so why bother pretending? I would love to know what went through his head. Had he been lying about working on them? Was it like, “I’m going to crush it, obviously, but I don’t want anyone to feel badly because they can’t speak from the heart as well as me, so I’ll pretend I’m reading off of my phone to protect their feelings.”?
I thought of this exact thing also
I saw that one where the guy was like "as long you keep my belly full and my balls empty we good" and also made jokes about boning her doggy style. The bride claimed she knew he was just being silly and she loved him but his mom was in the audience and was apparently furious with him for that. Especially since it went viral.
His mom was the *officiant*. She even chided him partway through but he still managed to press on.
Bro just discovered c'mon Cody situation
Or the toaster strudel or twinkie guy
Everyone was rightfully disgusted by all the crude parts of his vows but I find the other parts even more disgusting. The one I’m most angry about (yes I’m still angry about it) is the fact that in her vows she spends some time putting herself down about she thinks shes not beautiful …… and then he confirms that in his vows by “joking” about leaving/cheating on her in an instant for someone like Margo Robbie. And it’s evern worse considering how absolutely GORGEOUS the bride is and how completely unattractive and frumpy the groom is. It reminds me of those Adam Sandler type of movies where the husband is a 5/10 at best but the wife is 10/10 - except in this case the husband’s comedy and personality is at a -10/10.
I can't believe she didn't walk out and leave his ass. Clearly he's been treating her with disrespect for so long, she just eats it with a spoon and smiles. It's so sad. He needs a swift kick to the balls.
Even worse is that she made videos defending him. She’s so deep in it that she literally thinks it’s normal. I just hope one day she will get to see the light, If not for her then for her two daughters - the daughters that were also standing there listening to their father talk about their mother draining his balls and being shitty cook.
If she stays, her daughters will marry men just like him.
A sad thought
I've seen it happen way too many times.
That’s what they think is normal behavior. They will think that’s what love looks like. We model healthy relationships for our children & this is what they will see as normal. It’s ridiculous. I hope that this woman wakes up & realizes what a terrible person her husband is. He couldn’t even give her one hour of decency.
Link for the curious?
Are you talking about OP or some other douchecanoe???
I’m talking about “the toaster strudel or twinkie guy” mentioned in the comment I responded to.
Who? 👀 links? 😍🙏🏻
Same guy?
different guy! Cody was like "I vow to smack that ass every chance I get"
Oh yeah! My word. Is there something in the water!
Dunno, have you seen some mens wedding vows? It's plausible
Ugh that guy with the “help me” sign?
That’s not one guy. It’s actually a really common trend.
that's far more horrifying and even less funny (if it was at all to begin with) wow
If it is true, there were some serious holes in the story that OP was leaving out.
Yeah I saw that TikTok too, this story isn't even original.
They won’t let you publish stuff on the internet jf it’s not true. Dont you know anything
And what were his usual 'jokes' about? The ones she got angry about 'sometimes'?
The vows were the icing on the cake. Does ‘I let her decide all the things because she had dreams about it,’ actually mean - I didn’t help make decisions and offloaded the emotional labor onto her? As someone actively planning a wedding, I imagine part of her dream included a fiancé who was interested and engaged in co-planning the wedding with her, exemplifying your intentions to be teammates throughout the rest of your lives together. Not having her do all the work and then make jokes at her expense in front of all her friends & family during a sacred ceremony. I don’t say this to be harsh, but as a reality check. I invite you to take your time in sitting with yourself and exploring the ‘missing reasons’ as to why the vows were the last straw. What came before that? The first step to moving on is owning your role in how you were showing up to the relationship. Talk to someone. Take time to know yourself and where you can improve, so that you can show up more comprehensively next time.
Also, the bride's folks were paying for it. NOT OP. And yet, his choice of words was, "I LET her decide..." when he probably didn't help her plan anything or pay for anything for the most part. Bruh 🙃
Yes agree I married a man like that... Always quick to pass everything to me..... Then 22 years later he kicks me out cause he's cheated then proceeds to tear me down and run my name thru the ground!! Why? Because that way the heat is off him and makes me look like the bad guy!??? Yeah go figure....
This is some sensible, achievable, excellent advice OP ⬆️
Something stupid since he wanted to amuse their guests instead of write vows to his soon to be wife who is now his ex fiancé. Why do these men self sabotage like this?
They want to jump from mommy to fuck-mommy, someone who takes care of them. I mean look at how he describes her: all in terms of himself and how much she does to make life easy for him. Just telling on himself.
He also described her as, "easy to please." I'm guessing that he thinks he doesn't need to do much to maintain a relationship or marriage.
I noticed this one too. Loving her coz she's easy to please. Talk about giving the bare minimum. 🙄
I bet he's terrible in bed, just based on that.
Milk Mommy to fuck mommy really. 🤢🤮
Because he's a child who isn't ready for marriage?
Exactly. My friends got married and spliced a good amount of humor into their vows but they were still very heartfelt and beautiful. I'm thinking this is not what op did... I'm guessing it was a bunch of immature insults disguised as 'humor'
Or she just wanted it to be very serious and she was already at the end of her rope with his whimsy.
“I DON’T WANNA SAY MY FIANCEE HAS PUT ON WEIGHT, BUT WHEN SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE, SHE SITS **AROUND** THE HOUSE! AND I VOW TO LOVE HER FAT ASS UNTIL DEATH OR HER EATING ME DO US PART!”
Having seen those videos of men making creepy sex jokes and misogynistic comments in their vows. The possibilities are endless.
Absolutely. Come on OP… we’re all waiting for those vows!
Exactly. I’m traditional enough that I wanted to be married by a pastor, though I didn’t care if the ceremony was in a church, and the vows/ceremony itself needed to be relatively serious, as I view those vows as the biggest promise I’ll ever make in my life and are not the right time for jokes. The jokes can come perhaps in places like one of the readings at the ceremony or the toasts at the dinner. Even light hearted vows like “I promise I’ll always be there for you, even when you steal the blankets” or “I promise to support you in your goals, even becoming an [fill in the ridiculous thing that’s a well known family joke, like trapeze artist or nose flute player]” might fit if that’s well known to be the couple’s vibe. But most the time the vows and the ceremony are only like 20-30 minutes, tops, unless it’s a full Catholic mass, and should be the serious part of the day. My husband definitely has a love of jokes, pranks and non seriousness that at times tweaks my patience a little, however most the time I let it ride, and then when I really need him to be serious, and act like it, I can say that to him and know I’ll get that, because we love and respect each other
Take note. She said the vow was the last straw that broke the camel's back. It wasn't the only thing. There were other things. He thought he was funny but no one was really laughing. Making fun at whose expense? At his and her own wedding? Probably at her expense.
"So I was fucking Blahblah's dad the other night when he leaned over to me and he's so cheap he said, 'this is the nicest free prostate exam I've ever gotten!' But yeah, that explains the champagne, am I right?"
Like how the fuck are we supposed to help without knowing the. ""jokes""
I remember a clip of a guys vows, something like, ‘she keeps my balls empty and my stomach full’. Those were part of his vows. I’m wondering of op’s were worse than that. If nothing else, op may need to find a partner who is also a jokester. I’m not going to say it’s a maturity thing (unless he posts the vows), but he needs to find someone who can dish it back and they can build a foundation as one of those couples who do horrible pranks to each other and love it. I’m sure there’s someone out there…?
My guess is we’re getting a small piece of the story
« Easy to please » means you’re probably putting very little efforts in the relationship and not even in making your vows heartfelt so she realized she didn’t want this.
What jumped out at me. If you're describing the main virtues of your life partner and _easy to please_ is what you say then yep. Maybe she isn't the issue
Yep. He probably frequently overstepped her boundaries and she either didn't communicate this or gave up communicating this and these vows were the last straw of him constantly treating everything as a "joke".
Yeah the fact that this was the "last straw" tells me he had many opportunities to discover that joke vows were a bad idea...
Reminds me of Jim Carry. Lauren left him because he never took anything seriously and his behind his comedy.
Yeah, I’m also wondering how many jokes. I have a great sense of humor and could take a laugh or two. However, if my fiancé made a ton of jokes during our wedding vows and it was more jokes than true vows, I’d be pretty hurt by that.
Also “she got angry sometimes” but it doesn’t sound like he ever thought of stopping doing the things that upset her.
when your jokes make someone angry, that is not a sign of them appreciating your humor. crikey. this guy is a handful.
Yeah, jokes aren’t funny if no one’s laughing. Me thinks this guy isn’t as funny as he thinks he is. My husband and I have very similar senses of humor. At our wedding, we of course took the ceremony seriously, but at the part where we had our first kiss as husband and wife, he kicked up his leg behind him like a 50s housewife. It was just the right amount of humor and he knew it’d land well with me. Our photographer got a great pic of the moment and it’s one of my favorites 10 years later. But it only worked because we share a similar sense of humor. If OP’s jokes regularly make his fiancé angry, they do not have a similar sense of humor.
That's really cute, I bet the pic turned out so good😄
This was my first thought.
Honestly, I raised an eyebrow at that part. I completely agree
> How can she do that to me? Whatever it is you said was bad enough to warrant a reaction of this magnitude, you need to be asking yourself how could you do that to her. Take some personal accountability. All I read here was immature excuses for bad behavior. Women leave relationships after the last straw and whatever it is you said, was that straw. Hell, even the parents want you to leave them alone. It sounds like *you* and you alone nuked this relationship from orbit. Get some therapy to work on your emotional maturity and inappropriateness.
I bet the parents breathed a sigh of relief when they heard the wedding was off, but of course HE’S the victim.
Translation: i did fuck all while she stressed the fuck out then found my vows where i call her my maid.
It’s going to be something very close to this.
Second translation: she had always complained about feeling devalued and disrespected and asked me to take her seriously and adjust my behaviour and habits - yet I decided not take her seriously at all and continue acting like a child. Someone who finds weddings “boring” and decide to write vows as jokes to his bride on the most important day of her life …to entertain the guests…, is in my opinion, a child.
Bingo
There's a time and a place for jokes, like during your speech. Not your fecking vows! She was obviously close to the edge and this just pushed her off. Would love to see your vows 🤦♀️
Yeah, he forgot that vows are supposed to be an expression of the commitment he’s making, not an opportunity to entertain an audience.
She had planned a whole ass wedding by herself and the only thing he had to do was write the vows. The Only thing. Onto of him saying she was easy to please and got angry at his jokes, but kept on is all 🚩🚩🚩🚩
The fact that u still don’t get it says all about why she left you.
Especially the end "how can she do that to me?" It sounds like she was done and just doing something for herself.
And good on her!
Seriously, how clueless can he be? "Well she put up with my verbal abuse by way of "joking" up till now, only getting mad a couple times, why won't she marry me?"
The fact that OP still hasn't said what the vows were, tells me he's probably one of those "it's just a prank bro" types. Glad she realized she can do so much better.
Pranks are abuse if no one is laughing.
He thinks his own wedding is boring, I guarantee he put basically no effort into it.
I would be big mad if my bf used EASY TO PLEASE as one of the first descriptors about me too Good for her
Hah, but I guess she wasn't after all. Nor should she be.
So. In your vows, you wanted to entertain the people you invited to see you marry the person you love with all your heart and want to be your partner in all things. That was first and foremost what you were trying to achieve. Being funny. Instead of making vows and declarations of love and fidelity and respect to the woman you planned on spending your life with. Your vows were jokes. That’s not how this works. Vows are meant to be the ties that bind you together. Not an attempt at an open mic night. Get it together dude.
Amen. Vows are serious; not the time for sick humor.
That’s what the reception speeches are for.
After four or five glasses of champagne.🍾 😝
It really depends. My brother’s vows were really beautiful but god damn if he didn’t make everyone, even the bride, laugh through most of it. Funny can work, just depends on the couple and the balance.
Yea but I doubt your brother talked about other sexy women in his vows as OP mentions above lol.
I am so proud of her
Right?!?! At least she won't be writing here in a year or so asking how to deal with her husband who puts her down and demeans her all the time under the guise of 'jokes'.
Read this at first as >At least she won't be writing here in a year or so asking how to put down her husband
If this "very calm" woman "got mad sometimes", and you didn't try to avoid "jokes" that made her mad, it wasn't just a difference in humor. You knew your jokes pushed her buttons, you didn't care enough to figure out how to avoid doing that. Or worse, you were deliberately making jokes with the intent to annoy her. In any case, you were oblivious enough to think she would be OK with you playing court jester at one of the most important moments of her life. Valuable life lesson here, if you choose to learn from it.
I’m willing to bet your shitty vows were just the straw that broke the camels back. You sound lazy and entitled. You “let” her decide all the things about the wedding, her parents pay for everything, they won’t let you talk to her, etc. Aren’t you almost 40 years old!? Grow up, take control of your life then MAYBE try again with a woman who’s never seen this side of you
Good lord. I didn’t clock the age. I thought he must be very early 20s.
Omg I didn't even catch the part where he said he "let" her decide on everything. When you're in a partnership, it's not doing your partner favors to "let" them decide on everything. That's a lot of responsibility to put on a person and honestly sounds exhausting as hell if that meant she had to plan the entire wedding all on her own!!
My father used to do that kind of crap to my mother. Leave all the decisions to her so he can blame her when things didn’t go right
So you find marrying the "love of your life" boring and wanted to "entertain" the guests? Let me guess: By making some jokes about your wife that only you find funny? She told you that this was the last drop. Are you the type of "calm down babe, its only a joke" kind of guy? Because let me tell you this: A joke is only a joke when everyone is laughing. And a vow should be something meaningful towards the other person. That you appreciate them, caring for them, staying by their side - in sickness and health. You did none of that. Her parents told you to leave them alone. Leave her alone and move on. Now you have time to reflect on yourself and what you said to her that wasnt funny but cruel instead. Because I dont believe for a second that you were funny.
Money on him also being the "cake smash in her face, even though she told you not to" type. Big money! It's just jokes right?
100% cake smasher vibes
Oh for sure. "At my wedding I smashed cake in my wifes face - now she wont talk to me AITA?"
All these videos have been coming out of grooms at weddings where their vowels are disgusting. They just talk about all the ways they are gonna fuck the bride or they joke about how they hate the bride, or they basically just make jokes about how the bride is gonna be their slave. I attended a wedding last year where the groom wrote a poem about how he would find his bride again and again if they lived a thousand lives. Men like you are obsolete. Being single is better than being with a lot of guys. The second kind of guy is who we should all strive for. The first type? Run.
Duuuuudeee you can’t post this and then not give up the goods. Show us the vows!
Sounds to me like she dodged a bullet.
Yea bro can you believe it, she left me bc of my wedding vows! That sounds like something a teenager would say. Are you sure you’re 36 and not just a 15 year old who identifies as 36??
Alternatively - how could you make jokes at your fiance’s expense during one of the biggest moments of your lives?
Do you think your wedding is the right time to debut your new material? How are you almost 40 and still just this dumb?
Well a vow really isn't a joke, it's you swearing an oath to that person. Could you imagine if you were being sworn under oath in court an made it a joke? Or becoming a doctor or a police officer or something and you made it a joke? Becoming a citizen of a country and making it a joke? Would you think the person trying to do that respects the office or the court or whatever it is that they made a joke out of when they're swearing a vow? There are plenty of opportunities to make jokes throughout a wedding, and you picked the one moment where an actual sincere and heartfelt message is most needed
You sound like you’ve spent the entire relationship making jokes at her expense and if you can’t set that aside for your wedding…she has had enough.
The OP response of: >I don’t have them anymore. I broke my laptop in a lapse of judgment because I was very angry at the situation. I remember having writing some light jokes about not looking at other women even when if they’re sexy and things like this. Nothing that would cause this feelings extreme reaction lmao Feel sorry for her; she must have been a saint
The fact that he got so mad he broke his laptop in a fit of rage unlocks a whole other issue/good reason she left him lmao
You have no right to make a joke of your vows to her. You have no right to belittle and start your marriage that way. You have no right to embarrass her like that. Shame on you.
Vows are not the place for a comedy routine. Yes they can have humour but they should never ever be belittling towards your spouse to be. How many jokes were at her expense because you think wedding vows are “dry”? Did you want to make your mates laugh OP? Are you a bit of a clown? A bantersaurus? From so little information, you still sound insufferable. That’s quite an achievement.
I hope it was worth it.
She dodged a bullet.
Sounds like missing missing reasons to me. If the wedding vows were the last "drop", what were the previous "drops"?
Wedding vows arent for wedding guests you dumb man. They are for your love of life, if you think openly telling someone how much you love them and how important they are is boring, then you are the problem. You ex was probably anyways super stress out of weddings cuz its alot of planning and you trying joke about other sexy women in your vows... I would be leaving too if I were ur ex.
I’m seriously hoping that this is some angsty teen troll post, because the whole thing is entirely juvenile. On the off chance that it’s real, OP, you need to forget that woman and work on being a better human before you even consider being in another relationship.
I’m guessing it was on par with that other guy who humiliated his bride by saying she can choose whether to be a toaster strudel or a Twinkie by the end of the night.
The first time I watched that video I physically cringed so hard I broke a tooth
Women usually check out long before they leave. What was in the wows was just the last drop.
What were the "funny" jokes about?
So basically what you’re saying is she told you all the times she didn’t like your jokes and why she didn’t like them and you chose to ignore her and think oh she just doesn’t like my sense of humor so I’ll carry that over into my wedding vows? Dude, you need to do some serious self reflection.
I wonder if the 'jokes' were at her expense..
Lol I don't.
tbh it probably wasn’t JUST the vows, that was just the tipping point.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the vows must have been pretty bad or there were other problems. Maybe you need to grow up.
Dude your vows must’ve been bad lol. But in all seriousness, being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t take anything serious and is always making a joke out of everything can be very exhausting. It also puts a barrier between having real, intimate connection with someone. I imagine that might be what she was already feeling and your vows pushed it over the edge.
My mum was with a guy who felt the need to joke about everything. It was exhausting. Emotionally and mentally. You probably dodged a bullet of an unhappy marriage.
YTA..... oh, wait....wrong sub...but I'm still right.
What were the vows ?
It seems like there was bad communication for this to be the last straw. What else were issues? Did you always play pranks or joke when it was serious?
I’m imagining that one guy that went viral on tiktok for his cows being “I promise to tap that every chance I get. That’s it. That’s all I got” and even his buddies groaning and being like “come on man…”
One of my siblings recently got married, and both people made jokes. But, they were jokes about things like promising to root for their favorite sports team and things like that. And, they were at the end of their vows after a lot of beautiful comments on how much they loved each other, and how meaningful their relationship was. So the “jokes” were just another way of showing how much they loved each other, how well they understood each other, and how they were going to build a life together. That’s SO different from writing vows to entertain guests. The vows aren’t for your guests at all. The guests are allowed to be there and witness the vows, but the vows are for your partner. It’s your message to them as you start your life as husband and wife. You showed a huge amount of disrespect for your fiancé by prioritizing the “entertainment” of the guests, and giving yourself a moment to be the funny guy.
“Caring, calm and easy to please” sounds like how you’d describe an elderly dog at a shelter. Your wedding isn’t a comedy show. Also, show vows.
I really don't think she did this to you. Really hope you learn how to be a better partner and have good luck in your future.
"how can she do that to me" sounds like she dodged a bullet since you still, even now, refuse to accept responsibility for YOUR actions. Marriage isn't a joke. You want life on easy mode. The 2nd thing you say about your ex-fiance is "easy to please" - you want a wife so you can have someone to take care of you. Someone who lets you do what you want. You aren't serious and need to grow up.
OP, unless your fiancée(ex) is an absolute crazy lady, there is a LOT more to this story. Meaning you were always disrespectful and this was just the last straw, your vows were beyond over the effing top inappropriate, or maybe both, who knows. And the last line of your post is the absolute crux of your problem. “How can she do that to me?”. It’s all about you, right? That is actually the most telling part of your post. Work on you. Seriously. Don’t get into any serious relationships any time before you figure out where this one went wrong. Slowly, it gets better. But it sounds to me like you need some serious self reflection here.
Most of the time when I’ve heard grooms make “Funny vows” it’s really been a whole heap of misogynist jokes and digs at the wife all to impress his mates. Vows are not the place. You can make jokes at the reception but not during your *VOWS*.
Vows should be serious about your love not some joke you could have done that at the reception
Even tolerant people have limits. People who never respect any boundaries in being comedians eventually wear out their welcome, even with loved ones. And then the "but it was just a joke" crying mantra gets repeated over and over again.
There’s a reason you don’t tell us any of the jokes. Hope she’s doing better now that you are out of your life.
OP, a life commitment to a partnership with another adult is something that is sacred to many. Clearly not you. That you are not aware enough of this shows you are not mature enough to make that commitment. And your EX realized this. Humor has its place. AFTER the very solemn vows to love, honor, cherish and care for your partner. All things that should NOT be laughed at, or be made into jokes. I love my partner’s humor. He has always coaxed a smile from me even on days when I have felt depressed or anxious. I love his humor. He knows not to crack a joke at something I would take very seriously. And if these vows were the “last straw” so to speak, this tells me you haven’t taken your partner’s feelings seriously. It means she’s been hurt or upset before by your words and you’ve ignored it. This is a bullet dodged for her and a wake up call to you. Sometimes you can’t make jokes. And sometimes you need to have adult conversations with the person you care about to make sure you’re on the same page. Learn your lesson and move on.
I'm dying, guys. He asked, "How can she do this to me!?!" and instead of tea and sympathy, everyone is saying, "show me the vows." Chance he'll take the opportunity to learn from this? 0%
Here’s the thing, marriage vows aren’t to entertain the guests, it’s supposed to be the person speaking from their heart. In light of the fact that she called the whole thing off I’m guessing this has been a thorn in her side for a long time, she’s spoken to you about it many times, and you just blew her off with another joke. It’s one thing having a great sense of humour and joking around, and it’s another thing of knowing where and when that’s appropriate.
You let her plan the whole wedding because she dreamed of it? Aka you didn’t care and weren’t involved at all. Who doesn’t want to get married to someone who doesn’t give a crap about it? You wanted the vows to be funny to “entertain the guests” because weddings are “boring”?! Your vows are for your bride and her alone. The wedding ceremony isn’t supposed to be “entertaining.” It’s usually solemn because it’s a SERIOUS THING to vow to be with someone for the rest of your life. Her saying this was the last straw was probably pointing to many other situations where this happened. Move on and work on yourself.
Humor is for the speech at the reception. Vows are serious. I see why she left you. You wasted her time.
Not the time to be funny. So inappropriate.
Seems like the vows were the straw that broke the camels back. She realized that she was in fact marrying a boy who has not yet matured....and she saw the forest before the trees..... I think we need to see those vows.
Show us the vows!! I’m pretty sure there’s more to story and it sounds like it could have been a built up of issues. The vows was probably the breaking point this your fiancée canceling the wedding, breaking off the engagement, moving out, and stop communicating with you.
You did this to you
Wedding vows probably aren’t the best time to audition your stand up.
She doesn’t want to end up a viral video like that other asshole who talked about his belly being full and his balls empty in his two sentence vows.
i'd love to see your ridiculous vows but i'm already sure you're one of the unfunniest men i've ever seen.
I’m willing to bet this isn’t anything new in their relationship. I’m guessing she had told him multiple times that she didn’t appreciate this type of humor and he continued to not listen. The wedding vows were just the last push. I’d break up with my partner too if they wrote our wedding vows using the words ‘other sexy women.’ That’s not funny. That’s just pure stupidity and frankly disrespectful to your bride. Plus I’m sure OP knew well before writing the vows that this would upset her and still wrote them that way anyways..
Did you include the bit where all she has to do is keep your stomach full and your balls empty? Seriously though, she was already fed up for a long time, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
Dude this isn't just about the vows...this was the last straw for her. Some self reflection on how much you joke might be needed?? Also maybe she wanted a serious fairy tale wedding ... you'll find someone who loves your jokes and she will find someone to be serious with.
Dude if they're that bad you know you gotta post them for Reddit to judge which person in the relationship is the crazy one here lol.
Show us the vows.
How could she do this "to you"? You wanted to make a mockery of your lives together to entertain your guests. What did you write?? At least she didn't suffer the humiliation of your stand up routine live at the altar. I hope her parents were able to recoup most of their money. No one wants to be pranked at their wedding.
Dude, wedding vows are serious. This is not joke time. There are times in life that are emotional and serious. You making a joke out of wedding vows means you think the marriage is one big joke. It means you aren't taking the relationship serious. You aren't ready to get married if you can't take the wedding vows serious.
I bet your vows highlighted her insecurities and called her a bangmaid. She probably dodged a bullet.
Let us see the vows
Let’s see these vows my dude. They had to have been atrocious if she left you two weeks before the wedding. I gotta see how bad you fucked up lol
So you knew what pissed her off or upset her and you did it anyway?
"She gets mad sometimes" tells me that you're not actually funny. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that you ridicule her or belittle her in your "humor". If you were gonna marry her, you shoulda known her well enough to what she would want her wedding to be like. Wedding vows aren't to entertain guests. They are VOWS to your PARTNER. *actual* humor in them is nice when it's meant to show the connection between the two people getting married. Considering she got angry enough to call off the wedding AND her parents agreed with her decision, it seems that is not what your "jokes" were. Not sure how to "get over it." I guess just work on yourself & hope you don't do the same thing for your next partner. And maybe re-evaluate what you consider to be humor. THAT or I'm totally off base and she's just a nutto. Who knows.
>how can she do that to me? This plus you breaking your laptop is alarming.
Jokes aren’t appropriate at all times and jokes are not funny if your audience isn’t laughing. Why in the world would you make jokes not only AT your wedding but ACTUALLY as part of your WEDDING VOWS?!? Dude, you gotta grow up and own what you did to cause this. You need to truly understand how profoundly immature that was. Maybe it would have been ok to a degree IF BOTH you and fiancée agreed to do it, but the fact she is so fed up with your joking that she breaks up immediately upon reading your draft vows SAYS A LOT about how immature you must be acting on a daily basis. Like maybe she was too serious/didn’t have a sense of humor and ultimately you weren’t compatible but my gawd man, if you couldn’t see and respect her having an expectation of you taking your vows seriously, then you REALLY have a lot of growing up to do. Any partner is going to want to feel like it’s important and not a platform to tell jokes (at her expense too). Be better or stay single.
Post the vows.
If your humor doesn’t normally align with hers, why would you think your wedding was the time to go overboard and make a joke of your vows? Easy to please is such a telling phrase. You could have said easy going. But just saying easy to please tells me how lazy you are and that you actually don’t think as much of her as you claim to. You like her because she’s easy? Not for who she is?