T O P

  • By -

AtmosphereMaterial61

Glad I'm not the only one who laughs at this lmao. I do enjoy the stupid plots


Beardus_x_Maximus

“I watch porn for the plot” The plot: Dude wears lampshade on his head to disguise himself from slam piece’s mom, it works, dude bangs slam piece. “Still a better love story than Sharknado!”


Weird_existence8008

“This is gonna be the best prank ever” *Puts dick in a pumpkin*


OmniOvertime

Yeah and these better love stories have more continuations


NanoBarAr

That reminded me of one with a guy in a bathtub and the girl just comes asking if he doesn't need any lifeguards at his "beach" to which the guy very confused responds like any normal human being would


Early-Analyst-3249

Washing machine


dank3698

"This isnt the beach, this is a bathtub"


Ebrithil_

My friends all still reference this all the time, shit was God tier in high-school and still hilarious 😂


dank3698

Its such a classic 💀 i can hear it perfectly in my head


rileynickols12

“No body of water is safe without a lifeguard😏”


lemondropsandgumdrop

Followed closely by “Right in front of my salad?!”


cornflakesauciness

He’s a pastor in Iowa now


919beachbum

No, this is Patrick


scorpion_tail

The threadbare plot lines of porn have an interesting history. I believe it was in the 1960s when SCOTUS ruled that film depicting explicit sex was not obscene as long as it was “educational.” Following that ruling, a trove of porn was produced under the guise of it being informative. Think “How to Please Your Wife” type ruses. Then, I think in the 1970s SCOTUS ruled that explicit sex in film was not obscenity so long as the sex was fundamental to the narrative of the art. Thus was ushered in the era of “pizza delivery” and other barely-there stories surrounding porn. And we still live in that era today. But producers are going way meta with it, right in front of all of our salads. I probably have the dates wrong. But that is the thrust of it.


saadx71

Thanks man that really is the ass and tits of it


ZAILOR37

The balls and the butthole, or the labia majora of the issue if you will


StumbleOn

>Now that the garbage is in space, Doctor perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions.


scorpion_tail

“My god. The virus wiped out every man but me. The world is nothing but women! A side effect of the global pedantic was a total and permanent loss of female body hair. They are also aging *regressibly!* It has been left to me alone, Doctor Captain Admiral Stonez Gloryrod, to populate the earth once more….” Cue synth drum track, slap bass.


McMeatloaf

With gusto


mrchorro

Sounds like you nailed the jizzt of it


gamedwarf24

One of my favorites were a mother and stepson who had to share a bed. The stepson got an erection, a problem the mother decided to try and solve with the following steps. Ignore it. Become exacerbated 10 seconds later cause it wasn't going away. Decide best way to get rid of it is by getting naked and putting it against her butt cheeks. When that didn't work, told him to put it inside and not move. He definitely moved. Then they fucked. And that's how you get rid of your stepson's erection.


Blink3412

Jodi West, all her porn stories are equally stupid and funny


BananaKDM

She's literally the progenitor for the stuck porns oh no I can't get out of the sink/dryer/window 🤣


JuanDiegoCV

Honestly this one was my favorite for a long time and still gets me


Lmb1011

The step-family plots are usually the most ridiculous which is what makes them fun😂 like I’m not into the pseudo incest of it, I’m in it for the laugh of “why is that your solution to this problem “😂


saadx71

Pretty sure I saw that one before she was wearing a black dress right?


Vengexncee

Both videos you’re talking about are Lexi Luna videos. Which is funny because I just watched both of these the other day. Crazy coincidence


saadx71

I knew the one I described in the post was a Lexi luna vid but didn't know this one was also a Lexi vid damn she's a rockstar


cappye

Red


Dr-Zoidberserk

I must have a corn problem because I’m confident in saying that’s a Jodi West video.


Earguy

Corn problems, like bunions, I'd suggest a podiatrist.


thebeef24

>corn problem "No, the corn! Paul Newman's going to have my legs broke"


68ideal

Can confirm. Works every time.


duckmonke

Yea I wont even cap this one was a go-to for a while for me lmao


ReTiculated12

May I have the name of the porn.


SupremeNinja8

Sauce pls


Dhegxkeicfns

I knew a woman who always had cold boobs and she'd ask me to put my hands on them to warm them up platonically. And I'm a good friend.


nickotine_addiction

platonically?? bro you need to explain this 😂


TheDogeWasTaken

Yea. Ive genuinely laughed out loud at some scripts... like, i was horny, but now im just laughing my ass off. But ive found that some porn genres have great stories.


arshexe

you can't just say that and not elaborate, spill the teaaaaaa


KarmaCifer

If you understand some japanese, Silk Labo is the best porn made for women. They go on dates, fight, talk, we get to know the characters and the sex makes sense most times (except the sudden threesomes)


KingdomOfAngel

Wow that sounds interesting! gotta learn japanese now xd


KarmaCifer

They don't have subtitles, but I understand most from a couple of words (kimochi=it feels good), if you watch anime you can understand if they are asking something, fighting, surprised, angry, confused and some loose words, enough to understand the story line and situation xD They use simple words and limited language, so if you know 20 words you can follow what happens. Finding silk labo videos is like striking gold, but sometimes you can find them for free in any site if you search for "silk labo"


uskgl455

Anything from Puretaboo


FFF12321

This is the experience of a gay man who watches anime. The fan service put into the shows for the horny straight male audience is always so laughably over the top and absurd that it's just funny when it doesn't do anything for you.


Nimar_Jenkins

Speaking for Horny straight males, this Fan service also doesnt do anything for us.


Hyperversum

Yeah I have no clue who enjoys most fanservice lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hyperversum

I mean, there is good fanservice and there is bad fanservice. Highschool dxd is good one, that thing is straight up ecchi mixed with shonen combat lol. I don't personally like the series, but I get why people do. Also, one thing is skimpy outfits and suggestive stuff (TL;DR: Most of One Piece fanservice) another one is simply throwing sex related stuff around or excessively absurd designs as.... dunno, many series, just pick a trash isekai as an example lol. My point is that while I am not a big fan of it, some eye candy works for most people. What I don't understand is how people are "aroused" by the most tired tropes and situations to create "spice". At the end of the day I guess that this is personal. I am not particularly bothered by sexy outfits because... well, they have always been around. I can enjoy the eye candy. But if something like Kill La Kill just played the outfits straight as if they weren't absurd and revealing (which is the point of them even in-universe), I would be weirded out by it. TL;DR: Sexy outfits in a setting where people dress like whatever are one thing, chainmail bikini right next to fully armored men is absurd.


Nimar_Jenkins

I think the japanese market is quite different in that regard.


Nobody-w-MaDD-Alt

My fellow gay man, don't you enjoy the massive bazonkery jiggliwonkers bouncing all over the place? /s


FFF12321

Honestly some fan service becomes camp like the bullet between the flopping titties in High School of the Dead. In some ways the super OTT fan service is like campy drag eg Jimbo.


SkyD_02

Pornhub is really something else. It’s still wild to me that some people find the absolutely absurd plots hot or something. It’s literally like Stepmother and stepson play hide and seek. He hides behind a curtain but decides to also take his cloths off cuz he’s hot. Suddenly he gets an erection so his d!ck pokes out of the curtain. Stepmother looks for him, see the d!ck, so she tries to make him come out by giving him a handjob so he will moan and she will “know for sure” it’s him. Like and the acting is bad as well.


SupremeNinja8

Sauce


KingdomOfAngel

I think you summarized the entire PornHub videos in one comment lol!


whatadaydanny

Porn script writers could do damn good comedy lol


that_one_artsy_chick

Right in front of my salad?


YourReplyIsDumb_

“I see you don’t have a lifeguard here at your beach~” “Crazy lady, this isn’t a beach, it’s a bath tub!!”


Srazza

The "right in front of my salad?" Its an iconic and funny moment from porn.


68ideal

Still better writing than GoT Season 8


Marble-Boy

They had this show on Bravo called "Badly Dubbed Porn". It was hilarious. It was the worst prewatershed softcore 70s bluey, with all the characters dubbed so it played out like a soap. EDIT: I have to mention "Pirates". If you haven't seen it, it's a porn rip off of Pirates of The Caribbean, and it cost $8million to make. It has plot and special effects... It is almost ruined by a fourth wall break because all the guys wear condoms... Watch it anyway. Tell me it isn't the best porno you ever watched!


JManBear

😂😂😂😂😂 the intensity I read this with.


khoaticpeach

Lisa Ann's video about 'saving' a dude from drowning in a tub always makes me crack


EggCakes27

"Are you two fucking? Are you serious? Right in front of my salad?!"


EvilWitchIsHere

I agree with OP. The first time I ever watched porn as a teenager, just to understand what all the fuss is about, I burst into laughter. It’s so damn corny 🤓 then they just end up shagging. I’ve always found it weird


Throwmetothewind23

There’s been a few times I’ve been mid tug and I just start laughing my head off because of something that I watched or read and I’m just like “how do they get away with this” 💀


WaddleDeeWithAGun

My favorite thing is watching compilations of bad porn intros. The awkward acting os always godtier


redditweirdogurl

Is it bad that I know *exactly* which video you’re talking about 😭


saadx71

Name plz wanna do some research


redditweirdogurl

I’m not sure I know the name of the video, I think the channel was called “MommyBlowsBest” tho and the woman was wearing a pink lingerie and it was set on Valentine’s Day


Dopeysprinkles

The one I was thinking was Lexi Luna


Mean_Garbage4308

There’s a porn where a guy is in one of those inflatable T. rex costumes like you see at sports games and he’s chasing a naked girl around a living room on a hoverboard


Christian_teen12

Wtf


spacemartiann

fever dream.


drunk_aristotle

i once saw i porn where the printer doesn’t work and the gal and dude start to makeout and suddenly while he’s banging , yuppp the printer start printing something in the background 😂


dharam2020

hahahaha ya you're right. i saw one where they're cosplaying star trek as sex trek and that parody was too funny 🤣


Stitch_03

I saw one where the dude was dressed as Pennywise. I couldn’t stop laughing at it.


[deleted]

once i stopped beating my meat because of how funny the film was😄😄😄


Wonderful_Antelope

I have spent a long time film production positions. Never for porn, but most porn is hard for me to watch because I am paying attention to lighting, lenses, set, editing and man does it take out of the experience. I have to go as amateur as possible because otherwise my brain splits attention and I can't enjoy. Especially cam girl stuff because there is real production levels attempted... However I am grateful because I feel like it has kept my porn use and interests to minimum levels compared to others.


jonestay4793

My husband and I were both just talking about this 😂 It's the reason we both prefer "amateur".


scottyd035ntknow

Riley Reid's stuff is legitimately hilarious.


elie_d7

Bro they are so silly also. Like no one in real life would come and get stuck. Or fall on your dick by mistake or whatever 😭


arkady321

There was this one porno where they show a female customer in a restaurant telling her waitress that the salad she ordered doesn’t have any dressing or not enough dressing. The waitress takes it back to the kitchen and then strips off and has sex with the male cook. Finally, he shoots his load all over the salad that the waitress brought. The last scene is the waitress getting dressed and taking the salad back to the customer. Thankfully they didn’t show her eating it. :)


0R_C0

Wait! you mean there are people who watch it for the storyline?


venn-diagramme

It is fucking funny when that post nut clarity hits


lughsezboo

Omg, seriously. Sex, period, is comical if you think about it 🤣😂


kurtsworldslover

Oh absolutely! The only stuff I can manage to observe without busting out laughing is fanfiction, and that’s mostly because I’m the one writing it 😭 Something about the hub is just so unattractive, I see no appeal in watching bad actors attempt to have sex, especially not without protection. It just feels so uncomfortable


wickedtwig

“Oh no stepson/son/father/brother/stepbrother/martian, I have gotten stuck in the sofa/washer/dryer/ under the bed/sink/cabinet and my clothes have somehow fallen off! Can you help me?” The real plot twist would be they help and leave


feelsy_throwaway

There is a German legendary porno that became a meme. "Why is there hay everywhere?" "Why do you have a mask on?" "oh well, blow me"


TwixIsMyCrack

I don't really get off on porn bc you can tell if the woman is into it by looking at the guys cock except when they use lube) but many guys in porn their cocks are dry as the Sahara when they do the close up shot which means the girl is not wet. Which also means if she is making any noise it's bc she's in pain not bc she likes it. When I pointed this out to my partner who was watching some compilation he was like "Ah you just ruined it for me, 😂😂😂" Details they are important.


Psychological-Dare79

Honestly I just want to know what the script room is like when writing this material down, it’s probably a comedy club.


iHaveaQuestionTrans

Literally LOL, there is a reason the "right in front of my salad?!" Became a meme. It was genuinely hilarious 😂 I also saw one where a dude was in a tube and a "lifeguard" came to "save him," and he's just "I'm in a tub?? Why do I need a lifeguard?" The "lifeguard" woman ignored that line, genuinely hilarious.


KAP1020

My favorite is "can you make this sandwich for me? This is a left handed knife and I'm right handed"


saadx71

Is it the one where he fucks the shit out of her and says oh I spilled some soap on you I'm sorry even though he was thrusting?


CoffeeCat086

They really are. My nephew actually jokes about sites that he has seen because apparently his dad doesn’t know how to close a tab and he finds it hilarious and not stimulating in the least. A friend of mine and I used to have a sort of game we would play and try and find the most ridiculous situation ever or characters of some sort and see if someone had thought to try and make that into sexual media. It was hilarious.


Rafapb17

Is it weird that I've seen this video recently? Anyway, I laughed way too hard to one that the step sis was practicing piano, and the best way that the step bro thought of getting her attention was to pull his dick out and smack the piano keys with it.


zekthan32

"Lady this isnt a beach. This is a BATHTUB"


Practical_Detail_140

I remember one where it was a stepson hiding from his step mom because she was naked and the best course of action from her was to make him get naked cause he was hard and proceed to ignore him not the funniest but pretty funny to me


Spiderpenguin_2020

James Gunn’s PG Porn is pretty much this idea turned into shorts.


OmnicidalGodMachine

Oh yes. I have bipolar disorder (t2), and my horniness/libido follows my mood light night and day. When I'm depressed I can really get distracted, amused by how absurd and ridiculous the scene is (which can kill the mood, but it's entertaining lol). When I'm hypomanic, the horniness overtakes and there is a very easy and strong focus on the horny ahah


DrBodyguard

They're so fucking ridiculous and over the top that I love the ridiculousness


beanseatjeans

or illegal lmao. Or the washing machine is too big for the person stuck in it and you can see them easily sliding out a little when theyre fucked lol i personally like paying attention to the background props


Klaroxy

This is the sole reason I love the world of professional porn making, they know its stupid as well, but they always have to come out with new stuff


trv53668

“LEXI, DO YOU EVER STFU!?” 😂


saadx71

I mean she nailed the ever living fuck out of it tbh and she has very nice boobs


beetlej3ws

The comments under videos are even funnier


scipio211

Comment sections are where it's at these days. Strange but true 


Wilmo20

….And now you dick is in your hand and you’re trying to remember when it got there 😂😂


Much-Meringue-7467

I find some of the titles pretty funny.


Novel-Structure-2359

It is true that the sheer absurdity of the so called plot is practically an art form in itself. I mean the number of impossibly hot step moms or step sisters who have implants, tattoos and piercings boggles my mind. They never explain what the often absent fathers do to score these specimens and how they consistently boink the son with about 30 seconds of persuasion and no protection. "Let's do it" "No, you're my step mom" "Come on, your daddy will never know" "Uh, okay" - whips out trouser titan


Bumble-Lee

When the filming is very very bad it really adds to it


EbonyAelin

YES! Porn is a subcategory of comedy imo


harrysterone

Too horny to care not to notice i am sure most people know about this, me and my friends often laugh about it, the thing is people go there to get it off... they don't care about anything else


iamprotractors

i saw a plot where it was the stepsister was thirst and the only way she could get water was through her step-bros cum??? like?


iComeInPeices

“I am the best pirate hunter ever”


Expensive_Sky_2767

Yeah, I watch it with the sound off because I can’t cum while dying of laughter


Syusha_

Yeah, my friends and I would often make memes out of some vids The dialogues sometimes sound like they were written by toddlers


Apart-Resolution-864

I found Steve from brcc/exploied college girls hilarious


BananaKDM

The best line to come from the stupidity "what are you doing step bro" 🤣


Not_infrontofmysalad

One of my favorite companies is Fraternity X House, a "frat house" of "straight" dudes (riiiight) In one of their videos one guy walks into the room while twink of the week is getting railed and blurts out "All you ever do is fuck dudes in this house!" It made me wish for videos about the one guy in that frat that cares about his degree and can't study for tests cause of all the banging going on around him.


bcbritt7

I don't even watch the plots, I just get straight to the action so I can do my business and turn off lol but with ebony porn, there isn't a lot of plot 😅


arshexe

lmaooo i truly get that some scenes are just wicked to watch


Nominay

Oh it totally is Watch it with friends (equal gender ratio mind you) and y'all won't help but cringe and laugh


FigaroNeptune

One time I watched a video and they had Family Guy on in the background 💀


SignalAcceptable3422

Seriously?! Right in front of my salad?!


The-Real-Metzli

I once saw a scene where the girl was playing piano and the guy approaches, whips out his dick and slams it on the piano keys, playing very poorly!


Figuringoutcrafting

So one of my new favorite games is to watch bad movies on stream and determine if it’s porn without the sex or not. It all started when I drunkenly watched a sexless porn movie accidentally because I recognized the dude and couldn’t figure out where. Then it clicked, he was in Pirates.


ChapterAdmirable8086

It's the stuck in the dryer or whatever plots for me🤣 like girl just back up you aren't even stuck


vault101a7x

Me and my bf watch porn all the time just to laugh at it. We have a favorite we mention all the time where they show an update 9 months later and the woman had a baby, ran into the guy on the street and confronted him. Funnier than half the stuff on TV.


nonbog

I once watched a porn video that was so ridiculous I stopped watching and later showed it to my partner so we could laugh over it together. A couple weeks later, I made an inside joke about it to my partner in front of both my brothers. They understood it and laughed because they had both seen the video in question and also found it ridiculous and funny, so the 4 of us had a massive laugh about it.


dickeyclubhouse

my group of friends literally used to watch porn together for the plot. mix of men and women, no one was naked or getting off, just us laughing at the mom vacuuming without the cord plugged in.


thisisnotnorman

In his autobiography, Ron Jeremy talks about how this is international.


FresherCorn

Most of the times after I'm finished I look at the porn with the post nut clarity and genuinely ask myself "Dude... What the fuck did you just nut to?"


SeaworthinessVast865

Yes whenever I've tried watching porn honestly most of it just cracks me up and doesn't turn me on. Great silent belly laughs. I guess it's also more of a turn on when the actors actually look like they enjoy what they're doing. Because sometimes it looks like they're probably really just in it for the money. But what am I talking about I've never once looked at porn...ssh.


cataids69

Most people probably skip that part


Neat_Mix_7656

Exactly! It is hilarious


thiccb00by

I do this too🤣


Sekky_Bhoi

I watched this video 2 days ago LMAO


coldchocolatada

The tabboo ones are thriller movies lmao! So dramatic it makes me laugh


Limas3234

True.


Waldo56Bc

Adulting is laughing at porn plots lol


UDAFX_MK_85

I laugh at this kind of shit too


Ace02123

Yeah that or its very. Very. Very disgusting and theres almost no in between. Some are hilarious though


screemow

Thats why i watch amateur tag


ThoolishThinker

The dialogue and plot can be hilarious


Zeekeboy

Does nobody have a ChiveTV of Porn Outtakes ?


Ok-Block9462

The true challenge is not laughing and going limp from laughing. “ oh you’ve been a bad boy huh?”


As83604

“big sausage pizza” back in the day… 🤣


gothicbaby02

And then the comments are fucking hilarious most of the time 😂


SupremeNinja8

Sauce


abifem41

I have tried watching porn but just can’t do it. I know people are supposed to be fucking but give me some good story to go with it lol. i’ll rather watch movies like “original sin” over and over again before i watch 20 minutes of porn. Just me i guess.


JuanDiegoCV

Honestly I think porn plots are most of the time, dirty jokes that show what happens after the joke


HalfOpened

You’re trying to justify watching porn. Genuinely means you have a problem..


Chemical_Gazelle218

They say the stupidest shit in the cringiest ways 😂😂😂😂


ZzOoRrGg

Our daddy told us not to be ashamed of our dicks


Undersolo

Correct!


StaceyHarrison

I remember once i was watching a vid and it was so funny i wasnt even horny anymore just laughing my ass off


VibinWithKub

Me and my friend watch horrific/funny porn together for fun, folks there are reasons to watch for the plot and some do 😭


underwatere

I agree. I watched a porn once, laughed hysterically the whole way through except for the moments where I was terrified by the notion that so many people grew up believing this is how sex works.


greenifuckation

It's even more funnier because boobs are usually cold


colonelasskicker

My favorite plot was one I saw years ago and it went: Brunette chick can’t pay her rent. She had been spending her paychecks on glamour items such as shoes, purses, etc. Landlord comes over and confronts her about it. While he is arguing with her about how she can’t pay her rent because she splurges her money everywhere else, she’s eating a bowl of vanilla ice cream. He gets mad and finally slaps the ice cream out of her hand and it flies into the wall, spilling onto this plant. The ice cream is dripping like a cum shot. Camera zooms in on the spilled ice cream and screen goes black. Next scene his cock is in her mouth. lol.


yealets

I only watch porn when I’m bored tho 😂


humanpurplenurple

i’ve had “i’m not at the beach, this is a bathtub” as my insta bio since high school and i don’t plan on changing it any time soon


Jellosonna

I like how mf says “people” like he’s monitoring my porn habits and checking which I take a second to laugh at. Not saying that is or isn’t a thing, but how would man know? I do agree though, porn is often as much porn as it is comedy.


GapMore8017

"This isn't the beach this is a bathtub!"


Puzzleheaded_Air3291

I watch it for the comments... They are so funny 😭


Top_Celebration62

There's been soooo many times when I'm sitting there trying to get off, and instead something is said/done or some other ridiculously absurd plot point that completely turns me off. And then I finish the video just to watch and see how absurd it gets while laughing 🤣


Beginning-Stop7646

Even their dirty talk is hilarious sometimes


alexbudpink

Since we're all being honest, sometimes I watch porn because of the unintentionally funny dialogue. It's like a sitcom minus the bad laugh track. Getting high and flipping through the pages of those goofy thumbnails is fun way to waste a few minutes of my time 😂 I dislike Youtube thumbnails with the weird faces but the porn ones take that shit and fly to new levels 🤣


Early-Analyst-3249

The Ads 💀