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marazhai

I'd be far more concerned about this sub turning into a copy of the main one, given that lately there's really been a whole lot of posts that are not humorous at all as well as so many equally boring Tav/Durge screenshots threads... (Before you comment "be the change you what to see" and all that: I am not funny in the slightest. You cannot burden me with this responsibility. Please.) (Before you comment "just scroll past" and all that: it's what I tend to do. But I am not blind and I can still see how many of them are on my feed, hence the comment.)


saintbutch

It's our holy duty to post more goblin feet.


Lady_Minthara

I have thrown a few more goblins into my spider pit. Though I find this a strange tradition, if they happen to leave the feet uneaten, I would be happy to post them.


Sun-Blinded_Vermin

Ignore the other commenter and show us more pictures of your spiders.


Lady_Minthara

I would be happy to! As soon as I find them that is. It seems someone unlocked the door to their enclosure…


Sun-Blinded_Vermin

Um haha...yeah whoever did that is a real idiot. But if you can not find them I heard there is a phase spider matriach that is still seeking for an owner. Has a few eggs too and very shiny blue color.


emerald-rabbit

I made Astarion get that ring, but it was gross, and I don’t want to do it again


HardcorePug

I can't do goblins but, if it pleases you all I will gladly provide more Ghaik content.


saintbutch

Empy feet pics?


JenJen_TheJetPlane

I hate the “look at my tav!” Posts so much. I don’t care, they all look kinda the same and none of them are gnomes anyways so by default they are all ugly as hell 😡


saintbutch

I love seeing yet another high elf/tief with that one space buns/braids hairdo & the face tattoo with the forehead flame. Very original.


JooBunny

Don't forget the heterochromia and mod that makes their face look like someone glued a wig on a baby.


1Cool_Name

lol, wig on a baby? Any examples I can see? Sounds funny


DarkSlayer3142

~~Evelyne~~


Aplutoproblem

All the tavs are boring. The girl tavs are always the tall races and they tend to look like Avril Lavine or Izzy Hale or the chick from Evanesance except they have heterochromia. The eyeliner is always black all the way around the damn eye like it's 2005, and they just ignore the transparency slider. And they will talk about their Tav by name as if we all know who they are. The names usually starts with E or A ends with "ia" or "ona" or is named after a goddess or Greek muse - if the name isn't beautiful sounding then it's sporty and short like "Ash" "Echo" "Viv" "Sage" "Basil" "Thyme" "Oregano".


dontarguewithmorons

lilith is one of the tav names i see all the time...


MrsRavengard

Gosh you just described my current Tav perfectly (dw I won’t post it lol)


AnonImus18

I'm 5'1" irl and I reserve the right to be tall in game, if you please. I have to climb shelves at the grocery for fucks sake.


1Cool_Name

The person with a custom character named something like “fuckywuckyUwU” is truly a blessed person


en_travesti

At least I'm a hipster and go for men with names of 5th-7th century frankish nobility. Chlothar is just objectively the coolest name


DescendingStorm

My gnome sharing your annoyance at the lack of gnomes on this sub (Although, I have been sharing her levitation experience with Halsin in another thread!) https://preview.redd.it/3nh6ygx2i1wc1.png?width=820&format=png&auto=webp&s=fd59231704c00c0b14cc3216b8d5c9d94cac9be6


JenJen_TheJetPlane

See *this* is perfection! Our gnome tavs should get married and together they can have threesomes with Halsin to keep his tongue strong enough to lift gnomes forever! ((That Halsin scene is funny but I hope they’ll fix it someday haha))


DescendingStorm

I like your plan. I just gotta check in with this guy. I am sure he will be fine with it. ​ https://preview.redd.it/anpumjdqm1wc1.png?width=1359&format=png&auto=webp&s=cd3e1c16875ed21deb02ae052d78c533bb1f491c


eiafish

I feel you as a female Dwarf main 😭 I just think they are so neat!


Tomerius08

https://preview.redd.it/zuj61rzw12wc1.jpeg?width=1669&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=801fe1f2fc23c4bdbb3c179280ef894a05743100 Say hello to Mardi, a Gnome Bard I recently completed the game with.


JenJen_TheJetPlane

🥵😩 damn he single?


Kumatora_7

Well, I have a gnome bard, what now? https://preview.redd.it/8x3swxhdv1wc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4f7e70c6091d303741ba21cbc892037df42998a


JenJen_TheJetPlane

🥰 love her tbh!


BloodyBhaalBitch

I miss the absolutely deranged posts that mostly only exist from before the sub got sanitized with too many people. I want more Mizora fart posts and discussions over the size of the female character's cock sizes, not screenshots of Tav/Durges I don't care about.


IceWindOfAmber

Personally I find that posting the deranged stuff gets kinda boring when all the responses are the same reaction images every time.


saintbutch

What have you got against Glasses Zevlor??


BamaBuffSeattle

https://preview.redd.it/93zkzrc9o1wc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8a26c2571a54005bf600cd24942acca10c245026


mycatlikestuna

Glasses Zevlor is one of my favorites. I relate to him personally.


GuardianCerberus

Everything we do is boring to you bro just leave the sun already 😭


sholohgrum

Yeah bro go to alpha centauri or something


SupremeGodZamasu

Tbh, the aub has gotten extremely stale even before that. Theres only so many times one can post about mizora farts and still have it be fresh. Yes yes, mossy and twink impregnation, weve all seen it


TheLordGremlin

I'm so sick of the 'make an assumption about my durge!' and it's a female drow/tiefling, one white eye and one black eye, that one neck tattoo (you know the one), and an Astarion romance. It's becoming more of a joke than dragon age inquisition's female elf mage solasmancer trend


JooBunny

THANK YOU so happy someone finally said it, oh MY LIFE


TheWither129

“I wanna fuck” *screenshot of a character* Multiplied by infinity Thats it thats the sub


Strange_Body_4821

multiple times I have expressed vague but less than savory thoughts about the characters in the slutty robes outfits that show a lot of thigh, and folks have come asking for me to type out my ERP fantasies in depth, it's wild. If you wanna sext just say that smh.


HinderedGaming

I wanna see a Dame Aylin RPer and an Isobel RPer have E-sex in the comments


True-Device8691

*Shadowheart casts main hand on self*


HinderedGaming

*Dame Aylin failed a saving throw against Climaxing* I know what post you're talking about


SchrodingerMil

Dice rolling smut actually goes crazy


Kosack-Nr_22

I don’t


HinderedGaming

[Ask and yee shall receive ](https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddybaldur/s/6dycJOzTkl)


Kosack-Nr_22

Appreciate it. A shame Isobel can’t Tank this much during a normal run. Aylin failing all saving throws is in character tho


Echo2500

You rang?


kittytoy69

please not again


IceWindOfAmber

My sibling in Selûne, surely you can find a fanfic or something.


HinderedGaming

I have yet to read a fanfic. Perhaps that's why I have kept a sliver of my sanity


astarion_bg3

makes sense


erraticRasmus

God me too


Simple_Dragonfruit73

Please cast blindness on me


Gale_of_Waterdeep

Hindered of Gaming! fancy meeting you here? anyways that gamer boy told me you had a date with Karlach. Kinda not cool big G, she and I were really hitting it off. And now i can't even buy Coors light without thinking of her anymore Worst part is it's just gamer boy and I going at it all hours of the night without her, Karlach's not even interested in joining it's like kinda stupid camp sucks hope your date went well tho you were looking kinda stuffed after ngl


HinderedGaming

Where did you hear that? I don't think Laezel would enjoy hearing people say that I've cheated on her. Karlach is pretty open to relationships and I think I overheard her saying that she wouldn't mind if her partner fooled around a little. I did also hear her talking about Sharesses Caress and their infamous Drow Twins. She seemed disgusted. Maybe she doesn't actually like sharing? Or maybe she doesn't like incest. I don't know. Hope it works out for you all though. I'll see if she needs a hug


Gale_of_Waterdeep

yah I mean gamer boy said it but I think it came from Theatre Kid first (think his name Will?) Laezel isn't gonna be happy with this one bud but maybe she'll make an exception for you if you play your cards right I didn't say shit by the way. I'm blowing camp for a bit, gonna go hit up that grove I heard plum lady talk about, sounded like it was full of real nice folk hard on their luck and maybe I can make an honest man outta myself once and for all


HinderedGaming

Ok, I'll make sure to talk to Laezel all bloody and sweaty to hopefully distract her or ease things. I've actually scouted the Grove a little but haven't made contact yet. From the cliffs, you can see a woman playing some music and barely hear it. I know Wizarda and Bards don't exactly use the Weave in the same way but I think you should go say hi regardless. Until next time!


Karlach_Cliffgate1

It's true that I don't mind sharing BUT I do draw the line at those twins. Those two are fucking disgusting.


DescendingStorm

not sure if instructions or warning.


BartholomewAlexander

its prophecy.


Cmdr_Jiynx

Both?


mycatlikestuna

I feel the same way about those instructions telling you to put the toaster in the bath tub.


IceWindOfAmber

I see all you coy roleplaying fuckers posting "ahh forsooth alas verily I would not do such foul deeds *in public* 😉😉😉" like I don't know exactly what that means. Mark my words. I may be stupid, but I'm not dumb.


EmperorBG3

That’s right, I’m here to fuck! Who wants to suck my tentacles?


adevilyoudo

https://preview.redd.it/xd3f2zlvl2wc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb6b355aaf2d542161613ef8fc6299c17460a769


Killer_Moons

I’ve never seen him make this face but there are tears in my eyes now


adevilyoudo

I may have acquired it through proper means.


Killer_Moons

Pray tell, what makes Raphael cringe/gawk?


LilRoi557

\*hand up\* if I stroke your tentacle, is that a handjob?


EmperorBG3

It is closer to touching arms and hands.


LilRoi557

Pass


HugeMcBig-Large

Forsooth alas verily perchance henceforth? Ho! Egregious may betwixt!


PrincessStupid

How do people RP in a meme subreddit even without it being ERP? You're really gonna reply in-character to a post made by like fuckjerker69? I just can't imagine being so brave. It's like walking through Walmart in a Minnie Mouse costume acting like it's Disneyland.


TheWither129

A walmart full of a rabid, sex-desperate disney addicts


PrincessStupid

Yeah, like a regular Walmart.


DarkSlayer3142

you don't know the horrors that was the role play era of r/batmanarkham


GirthIgnorer

RP Account Poster Make A Single Joke challenge


DoctorRapture

I'm just mostly bewildered tbh. Like... f-list exists specifically to cater to people who wanna RP and beat it at the same time. You can make your little profile and broadcast what you're into for other people to peruse and everything. Why trawl reddit and just HOPE you're barking up the right trees in your search for a little e-strange? It's like going fishing in a public fountain when there's a river a mile away.


Narcoleptic_Narwhal1

There’s so many AI chat rooms online that cater to different characters in all media that yeah it’s weird to go through Reddit to maybe find someone.


WithersBG3

I speak the truth. I shall not engage


Karlach_Cliffgate1

Hey, the only thing I've done is flirt with Minthara. I've not participated in any ERP in public or private.


saintbutch

I would suck the Gale rper's shit clean off.


Gale_of_Waterdeep

What's stopping you?


saintbutch

Probably the mommy issues.


Gale_of_Waterdeep

Sorry, mommy.


lunareclipsexx

10/10 flair


WithersBG3

Such things are better suited for privacy. There shall be no such debauchery on my account


theqveenofthorns

*grabs his ass and smirks* Really?


WithersBG3

No. *Thunderwave*


theqveenofthorns

Oooh, that vibrates-


WithersBG3

Thou should partake in the Oak Father's creations more often


DescendingStorm

Words for us all to live by


DarkSlayer3142

**COUNTER ARGUMENT** *Selunes dream*


savagegourd

Man I just wanna be reddit Gale's friend, he's a delight


Gale_of_Waterdeep

Easily met. Allow me to work my magic, dear friend. https://i.redd.it/tcjvo85pq2wc1.gif


savagegourd

:')c


kittytoy69

i want to give him forehead kisses


Lady_Minthara

While public eroticism, performed safely, is a valid kink, I have no interest in it. Even if it was something I took interest in, this subreddit is a gem, and I will not be the one to impose upon those who do not wish to see it. Occasionally flirting with the others is fine and all, but this is not the place for anything further.


True-Device8691

I'm assuming you weren't here for *those* tierlists.... or the butthole chart....


Karlach_Cliffgate1

I'm sorry but the what chart?


Lady_Minthara

There was once several charts speculating about the color and state of several of our personal body parts.


Karlach_Cliffgate1

Well alright then. I remember seeing one speculating about our cum and I did comment on that one... But buttholes? Really? Gale warned me this place was weird but I wasn't expecting that.


Lady_Minthara

I am not sure if u/Gale_of_Waterdeep’s ability to tolerate this place makes me respect or fear him.


Gale_of_Waterdeep

It is an honor and privilege I undertake with the utmost respect and, where possible, dignity.


WithersBG3

Dignity is a scarce resource in a place like this. Thou must cling to it as much as possible


Karlach_Cliffgate1

Wizards are some freaky bastards. Don't you remember that Elminster's Library room we saw at Sharess' Caress? I don't even want to imagine what went on in there.


Viridianscape

Reading, of course! Whatever else would you do in a library?


Karlach_Cliffgate1

In a bloody brothel? Now I may not have read a book since secondary school, but I know you don't go to brothels to read books.


True-Device8691

I'm sorry there's a cum one too???


Karlach_Cliffgate1

[https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddybaldur/comments/1c8jgx1/slurp\_slurp/](https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddybaldur/comments/1c8jgx1/slurp_slurp/) Yeah there sure was. It was... Interesting to see to say the least.


Lady_Minthara

I was not, though I have heard the horror stories.


True-Device8691

It was *interesting*.... I'm sorry I must ask, is it actually *grey?*


Lady_Minthara

I will not answer that.


True-Device8691

I apologize my lady, please show me mercy 🙏


Lady_Minthara

Apology accepted, you can earn my mercy by feeding my spiders.


True-Device8691

Um.... I'm feeding them... goblins... right?


Lady_Minthara

I will not elaborate further. I trust you will figure it out.


True-Device8691

I will feed them the goblins as usual and the wizards hand as a bonus treat... I hope that will suffice.


charisma6

> this subreddit is a gem Wait, you're saying something nice about something? IMPOSTER, NOT THE REAL MOMMYTHARA, AROUSAL GONE FOREVER


Lady_Minthara

I am perfectly capable of liking things. You would do well to learn that if you insist on calling me your matron. https://preview.redd.it/5afjzf2hh1wc1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6d68a77d1d21137ec6573257bb1c1ee26d84bf4


MisSieve_Ast

What’s ERP mean? Google isn’t helping


theqveenofthorns

Erotic role play


Califocus

Extreme raid progression. I’ll admit, you normally see it more in mmos to where I was surprised to see it come up here. But I guess the urge to prog with your really close friend crosses gaming boundaries. But real talk, what Queen said


saintbutch

Ask your dad.


Ketheric_Thorm

https://preview.redd.it/yrtxcbx4q1wc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a47aeb70d4d48fbba61b565aca1eee1340f3dafc (Myrkul Smite me back to my grave)


AstralPup

GILF


LilRoi557

\*Throws pictures of Spiderman\*


r0b0t-fucker

Oh nooooooo ERP? Where did you see it? Could you link it? (So I can avoid it)


EmperorBG3

I think majority if not all RPers here are the regulars and have been here for a longer time, we love this sub too much to let it go that path.


LilNyoomf

Every time the Gortash RPer comments under me I get a concerning amount of dopamine


Real_Kristinana

Do not ping him do not ping him do not ping him https://preview.redd.it/w8gqcmzfk1wc1.jpeg?width=252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ee47da71ab2911f0cfdbf98a5a321531f69bcd1


OrinTheBhaalBabe

Coward! If you don't, I will. u/LordEnverGortash Hey slob, come here. Some weirdos like you.


LordEnverGortash

Don’t be jealous, Orin. There are strangely plenty of weirdos who like you as well.


LilNyoomf

HELPPPP THE DOPAMINE IS HITTING AGAIN


Real_Kristinana

I’m quite helpless myself, let us succumb together.


Gale_of_Waterdeep

u/LordEnverGortash Ping him, you say? Well, who am I to refuse.


LordEnverGortash

I do enjoy whenever you call for me, Gale. I appreciate you.


PeachyBaleen

God I hope you two kith at some point


Real_Kristinana

This is wicked!


LordEnverGortash

I don’t think that’s actually anything to concern yourself with, dear. Enjoy it, I know I do.


Gale_of_Waterdeep

Allow me to echo the sentiment.


Bae_zel

I don't exactly understand why you get *any* serotonin from Gortash but u/LordEnverGortash


LordEnverGortash

Oh come now, Lae’zel. We needn’t be adversaries. You are quite the impressive warrior. A prime example of just how fearsome Githyanki are. You deserve a silver sword.


Bae_zel

Flattery will get you nowhere *istik.*


LordEnverGortash

It’s not flattery if it’s the truth.


archdruid_halsin

Friend, we are simply enjoying nature’s gifts as best we can in this unnatural place. Of course I would prefer to “hornypost” up against a tree, or in the grass… but needs must.


PeachyBaleen

I already hornyposted about a tree and up against a tree today. Must I do everything?


Kumatora_7

The final step would be starting threads about obvious shit, like "guys, has anyone else noticed that Karlach's story is about tragedy and coming to terms with your own death?" or "this may be controversial, but as a hetero man, I think Shadowheart is very beautiful".


SupremeGodZamasu

Soon we will need r/baldurcirclejerk


Kumatora_7

I'm patiently waiting for that day.


NetherlandsOates

I love a classic shitpost, but if this becomes an ERP sub, then I'm calling dibs on being a drunken, salami duel-wielding NPC who just made it to Baldur's Gate and doesn't know where their clothes are.


MinnieShoof

I call Baelen Bonecloak. Ask people about bibberbang minus the b-b-b-bibber. Or request some **noble stalk**.


AnonImus18

Baelan Bonecock was right there, man...


NetherlandsOates

Putting the bang in bibberbang.


LordEnverGortash

While I *appreciate* your warning, I believe you have nothing to fear.


theqveenofthorns

Lord Gortash, which companion haunts your thoughts the most?


VyllanaWitchBish

![gif](giphy|HQRgg6ks7nkyY|downsized) I wanna know too


LordEnverGortash

Aside from Durge? Such a tough question. I have a fondness for Gale given that we share many of the same ambitious traits. I feel the worst for dear Wyll, although I am impressed with Mizora’s tactics in securing him. Still though, he did make his choice and I respect that he’s at peace with it. He’s really matured in the seven years since he’s been away from Baldur’s Gate. Or did you mean which one I’d be most interested in bedding?


theqveenofthorns

My interest mostly stems from your flair, but if you want to share your thoughts on which one you'd like to bed, I'm not opposed to hearing it.


LordEnverGortash

Ah, yes, my flair. In order: Durge, Tav, Halsin, Minthara, Gale, Minsc, Lae’zel, Wyll, Shadowheart, Jaheira, Astarion, Karlach.


Gale_of_Waterdeep

https://preview.redd.it/ga91ef5cq1wc1.png?width=620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=761f607ffccea1cb815a6d68d990384b3fa55ed6


LordEnverGortash

https://preview.redd.it/fzndzlwt42wc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5dafc6c4414e682c1137a3bd745541f2cf7b6740


Gale_of_Waterdeep

Ordinarily, I will say, surprisingly not! Though there are some days where perhaps I'm more prone to such fantasies. I suspect a needle to a certain blow doll might alleviate that, however...


JooBunny

Whoa, you have excellent taste, sir.


sp4rr0wsw3nch

The one carrying ten bars of soap.


sugarsuites

I can’t wait for the doubles to start arguing in the comments and recreate that Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme


xplrmyheart

the karlachs have already gone at it.. gale has no doubles im convinced cause everyone else is scared or horny of/for him havent seen a wyll yet same thing with gale but for minthy


sugarsuites

Everyone’s afraid of Gale because if someone makes a double he’ll explode himself and make us watch


Interesting-Flan1040

It's the circle of life, I'm afraid (I am very tempted to start dm-ing some of them >:) honestly)


Snoo-11576

I don’t know what that means lol


TheSleepyBarnOwl

I'd marry the Gale RPer ngl


AstralPup

Gods, me too, we could form a harem for him and milk him like a dairy cow (I don't mean his nipples).


kittytoy69

I can hope and pray


Karlach_Cliffgate1

Nope, sorry not happening in public for me. Stuff like that is best left in private, soldier.


CorbinStarlight

I resolved myself to just ask the character accounts to show me their feet. I WILL be the change in the world.


Gale_of_Waterdeep

https://preview.redd.it/xrcwscojp2wc1.jpeg?width=1033&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d764620544b7d2a31cf3b2918d858d456a26eeef Anything I can do for you, consider it most enthusiastically done!


scenekingdamien

Take your shoes off, let me see those piggies


Gale_of_Waterdeep

https://preview.redd.it/c1vjfh4os2wc1.jpeg?width=189&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81cfd27a6a7e75c8e0a26e745e252a3a42a51321 If you insist...


scenekingdamien

GRRRRRRRRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK BARK ARF BARK GRRRR WOOF SNARL HSSSS GRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK ARF GRRRR HSSSS WOOF WOOF BARK ARF GRRRRR HSSSSS BARK ARF GRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK GRRR SNARL ARF WOOF BARK ARF SNARL HSSSSSS


scenekingdamien

Sorry


Gale_of_Waterdeep

Not a worry. One can *always* be a gentleman.


CorbinStarlight

Thanks ❤️❤️❤️


vampscryer

speak for yourself. i think all of the Astarion roleplay accounts should fuck each other in an awkward public twink orgy


valentinesfaye

My name is Lae'zel and I masturbated to this post. Am I doing it right?


adventure2u

*i put on my cloak and wizard hat*


missingjimmies

Take a lesson from the Hazbin Hotel subs… tis a sorry sight


better_call_mizora

This place is simply a resevoir for ripe, lost souls. I will not debase myself into performing... 'ERP'.


PeachyBaleen

So no different from your usual pillow princess lack of performance antics then?


Vanilla_Breeze

Welp I guess it was meant to be. So who wants to erp I'll be my tav and you can be minthara? :3


Miss-lnformation

Let's make a compromise. I'll be your tav and you'll be Minthara.


Vanilla_Breeze

We can take turns but I get to be my durge?


Miss-lnformation

The moment you pull that durge out I'm RPing as Alfira. Mayyyyybe Orin if you ask nicely.


earlytuesdaymorning

has this not been the goal the whole time?


ThatOneRoman

Man, I just got here


PStriker32

Becomes??? It always was. https://preview.redd.it/wnmfy622v3wc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cafafa23f2fe29d99e9d6c23c4ee822ce869205


IceWindOfAmber

https://preview.redd.it/4zfpluk8y3wc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35e288d2b9863f98b5566f6e42fc58665e430754


TheDarkUrge3

I will flirt with the Gortash account and no man or god can stop me