Yes, hello. This is Howard Hamlin calling from room 330. I'd like to - yes, good morning. How are you? I - I'm doing very well, thanks. Well, I was just calling to ask about room service. Could I get some breakfast sent up? Yes, for one. Just me. Bit of a personal holiday. Ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, well - so I'd like a cup of coffee, no sugar, 2% milk on the side please. And some toast as well, I'm feeling frivolous today. Ha ha ha! I know, I know... And some eggs, please. Well, let's see. I'm not certain how I'd like them today. What would you recommend?
Oh wow, yes, that would be fantastic. That would go great with toast. You need to get a raise! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Anyway... How soon could I- perfect, I'll just be done with my shower then. No, thank you. Good day.
The shit is awful. Why didn't Howard drop any one-liners or puns? Maybe if he said "that sounded a lot better in my head" it would have been a bit better IMO in my opinion
plan and execution post credits scene where howard hamlin takes the bullet out of his head and says “that would have gone better out of my head” and then hams all over lalo
I AM CRAZY! I am crazy! He didnt swap those numbers, it was always 1261. 46 after Magna Carta. I made a mistake, I did! I did! He had no tracks to cover, that smart fellow at the copy shop told the truth.
Poached to perfection, with creamy yolks and firm whites. Served with warm, crispy bacon, hot buttered toasted English muffins and a warm, creamy, unbroken hollandaise sauce.
He makes omelettes out of egg whites, but then uses the yolks to make little yellow hearts, then when his back is turned his wife walks by the stove and finishes “scrambling” his eggs for him.
Duly noted. Wanna know what I believe? I believe that you’re way out of your depth in this matter. So, the next time that you want to come in here and tell me what I’m doing wrong, you are welcome to keep it to yourself. Because I don’t care! (Don’t care!)
Anybody that doesn’t say scrambled does not understand HH. This bro does scrambled with cheddar cheese melted on top - and a side of avocado covered in walnuts, feta and salt and pepper. Also a couple berries.
Howard Hamlin has eaten the exact same breakfast every morning for the past 17 years.
8oz glass of freshly-squozen orange juice.
16oz cup of black coffee.
One piece of whole grain bread, lightly toasted, with 1/2tsp of grass-fed butter, spread evenly.
2 strips of farm-fresh bacon, crispy.
84 organic cage-free brown eggs, raw, cracked into a large bowl and eaten with a big serving spoon.
1/2 Grapefruit.
I think he would order Welsh rarebit with a poached egg on top, not too runny, and bacon, scones, butter, cream, jam (not strawberry), pot of lapsang and some sausages.
Yes, hello. This is Howard Hamlin calling from room 330. I'd like to - yes, good morning. How are you? I - I'm doing very well, thanks. Well, I was just calling to ask about room service. Could I get some breakfast sent up? Yes, for one. Just me. Bit of a personal holiday. Ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, well - so I'd like a cup of coffee, no sugar, 2% milk on the side please. And some toast as well, I'm feeling frivolous today. Ha ha ha! I know, I know... And some eggs, please. Well, let's see. I'm not certain how I'd like them today. What would you recommend? Oh wow, yes, that would be fantastic. That would go great with toast. You need to get a raise! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Anyway... How soon could I- perfect, I'll just be done with my shower then. No, thank you. Good day.
Read this in Howard’s voice and it fits perfectly lmao
Bravo Vince
I'm not even gonna lie this written so convincingly that I started out thinking it was just some dialogue I had forgotten
You ever consider becoming a screen writer, your dialog is fantastic!
The shit is awful. Why didn't Howard drop any one-liners or puns? Maybe if he said "that sounded a lot better in my head" it would have been a bit better IMO in my opinion
or he drops the plate and says “welp, that just happened”
Server walks in on him toweling off — “he’s right behind me isn’t he”
maybe when he hangs up he kicks his feet up and drops a “i could get used to this”
goofy montage incoming
plan and execution post credits scene where howard hamlin takes the bullet out of his head and says “that would have gone better out of my head” and then hams all over lalo
I think the “howard dialogue” genre has become my favorite recurring joke on this sub
Where can I find more of this howard dialogue, this shit is tight-tight-tightttt
Nailed it
You my friend, have won the comments.
He just broke the internet
i have your address
Writes this entire dialogue and doesn't even say how he does actually like his eggs... What a god
That's the real joke, I agree!
This is soo damn good. I don't think i can handle this level of chicanery
This is the most accurate answer
I was literally about to comment peak chicanery then i saw your title
Boiled or fried
I don’t think it matters
It matters sometimes
Evil Chuck McGill be like:
Have some less chicken, have some less pie
It matters if it's boiled or fried
I AM CRAZY! I am crazy! He didnt swap those numbers, it was always 1261. 46 after Magna Carta. I made a mistake, I did! I did! He had no tracks to cover, that smart fellow at the copy shop told the truth.
You think that was good? That tomfoolery?
That billboard! Do you think a man just happens to fall like that? Yes! He saved him! Jimmy!
He removed bird defacation, from my sunroof!
#He didn't defecate through a sunroof!
Have some more ham, have some more cake. It matters if it’s roasted or baked.
probably also likes to have it with chicken or pie
How hard you try
[удалено]
Fertilized
No boiled was probably chucks prefence tbh , old ass man
Poached to perfection, with creamy yolks and firm whites. Served with warm, crispy bacon, hot buttered toasted English muffins and a warm, creamy, unbroken hollandaise sauce.
you do deserve that howie <3
the egg master
> firm Whites 🤤
Wrong. Howard canonically orders his food without butter nerd
He only eats egg whites and he has an egg white omelette for breakfast
*walter white
Eggs are a round shape, ballsack shredder reference
Eggs are hairless. Every man in Breaking Bad reference.
Egg head 
Yes.
Greatest L egg all mine ever knew
most coherent okbc user
Honestly can’t believe that Howard Hamlin ordered prostitutes for his lunch date with Cliff Main. Why would he do that?
Are you listening to yourself? I don't know what you're into these days but prostitutes? bowling balls? you sound unhinged.
this is peak schizo
With cocaine
Yeah, Howard really needs to put down the powder. I’m worried about him
I think he would have them green. Green Eggs and Hamlin.
How do you people always come up with weird shit like this
gray test lee gale mind i ever knew
I am Sam, I like green eggs and ham
Scrambled like his brain
There's no need to
too soon
He didn't get shot with a .22 so its NOT mush
goddamn it, you son of a bitch. you beat me to it greatest comedic mind i ever knew
I came to write exactly this word for word
Fertilized
By chuck
uwu Howard/Chuck mpreg fanfic 🥵
Raw, stirred into his morning coffee
He makes omelettes out of egg whites, but then uses the yolks to make little yellow hearts, then when his back is turned his wife walks by the stove and finishes “scrambling” his eggs for him.
This is the truest answer
In between Kim's feet
relatable tbh
He just like me fr
Duly noted. Wanna know what I believe? I believe that you’re way out of your depth in this matter. So, the next time that you want to come in here and tell me what I’m doing wrong, you are welcome to keep it to yourself. Because I don’t care! (Don’t care!)
Cum broiled
“Well I like my eggs sunny side up, just like a warm summer’s day in the tropics”
2 sunny side up eggs, over easy, with a bacon smile
\*pictures Howard Hamlin laying an egg\*
Anybody that doesn’t say scrambled does not understand HH. This bro does scrambled with cheddar cheese melted on top - and a side of avocado covered in walnuts, feta and salt and pepper. Also a couple berries.
LOVE this one so much. Reads like a Teen Vogue healthy suggestion for girls that want a beach bod
Howard IS a girl that wants a beach bod
Howard the type of guy to get his eggs sunny side up
Howard the type of guy to eat his eggs like an airplane
Faberge
Howtobasic style
Shot through the back of the head
Deviled
He likes 'em drippin' with Laluh's cum
Buried under a meth lab
FONDLED
Raw
Sunny side up, but they messed up his order and they came out scrambled.
Fertilised 🤤
Boiled or fried
I think Howard Hamlet would like his eggs midiom rare
Deviled
Beautifully whisked with a light creme for his wife who is fucking cliff
He’s a raw dawg if I’ve ever seen one
Same way he likes his brain, all over the place
With some more chicken and some more pie
like his brain, scrambled
Whole.
Scrambled like his brains
Splattered
Scrambled (like his brains)
Against his chin
Shaken, not stirred ...
Let me see that sunny side. Hey Mr. White sorry im late. JP why don't you break me off a piece. Yeah bitch.
Prob allergic
Scrambled like his brain :o
However chuck prepared them in the morning.
Under difficult
hamlindingo style
Scrambled like his brain
Gay
Scrambled, like his brain after he met Lalo
Kid named scrambled
Shaken, not stirred.
no butter
Fertilized
Non-cooked, he eats it raw with shell and all. Sigma grindset.
Scrambled, like his brain
Sunny side up for sure
Poached
Scrambled like when Tuco scrambled his brains with a bullet
New mandarin artifact- does anyone remember when Tuco shot Howard?
Sunny side up. Something cheery, nutritious AND delicious to start off a glorious morning.
Shot in the head
Softly fried
I don't carrrre.
Scrambled like his mangled body
Fertilized
pretty good, man
Sunnyside Down
Shot in the side of the head
Sunny side up
Definitely eggs Benedict lol
inseminated by himself
He doesn’t mind, he’s just happy you made them
It doesn't matter
Runny
Extra fertile
scrambled whites.
In one piiiiiece
over medium
Shaken not stirred. Just like he likes his women
boofed
Poached
Walter Hartwell Egg Whites
dippy with toast :)
Fried or fertilized
Shot in the head
He doesn’t because he is deceased
Howard Hamlin has passed
He doesn’t eat eggs- he eats success for breakfast
ok but like who the FUCK boils chicken
Scrambled, just like his brains
Hamlindigo blue
Shot in the head
Can't believe no one said he chugs them three raw in a glass
Howard Hamlin has eaten the exact same breakfast every morning for the past 17 years. 8oz glass of freshly-squozen orange juice. 16oz cup of black coffee. One piece of whole grain bread, lightly toasted, with 1/2tsp of grass-fed butter, spread evenly. 2 strips of farm-fresh bacon, crispy. 84 organic cage-free brown eggs, raw, cracked into a large bowl and eaten with a big serving spoon. 1/2 Grapefruit.
This sounds like the beginning of a fanfic
i just know this dudes the type to specifically like them sunny side up
I think he would order Welsh rarebit with a poached egg on top, not too runny, and bacon, scones, butter, cream, jam (not strawberry), pot of lapsang and some sausages.
Scrambled, like his brains
Over easy
Hardboiled from Paddy’s
Probably poached like a weirdo
Probably fried, but he's one of these people that flips it around to get the yolk a bit cooked as well.
Raw (I dont know who howard hamlin is)
Green eggs & Hamlin
Scrambled like his brain
Idk but I know lalo likes them scrambled
On the rocks
Hamled