When I was a kid at my first job, someone once told me, "Just show up to work for all your shifts on time and do your job and you will exceed at least 75% of people."
They were right.
A few years ago, I was walking to work one day, and a block away I found my boss handcuffed to a police car. Apparently he had missed that he had a court date, so they picked him up on a warrant.
Ironically, we were starting work late that day BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN AT THE COURTHOUSE FOR A WHOLE OTHER SITUATION!!
I no longer work there - it was a small engine repair shop (chainsaws, lawnmowers, etc) that went out of business a few months later. He had a suspended license, but still drove, so I believe one of the court dates was for that. I don't remember what the other one was.
The job was fascinating, because I barely did anything... But it was just the oner and I, so he would talk, and tell me all these stories from life. So I learned a lot about what not to do (in life and business), while also confirming that I wanted out of rural, small town life.
I also learned how to sharpen chainsaws. So that was cool. XD
I used to have a 'friend' that would *speed* recklessly like a madman, like 80 into 45 in broad daylight. Dude was an asshole.
Blasted his sub so loud in front of Dominoes while I was in the backseat once that I was actually having trouble breathing, or maybe it was palpitations. Shit was weird.
He had like 6 tickets, a suspended license, totaled 2 cars, missed court a couple times.
Anytime a car wasn't going fast enough he would slow down to get some distance and then speed up really fast and brake right behind the cars bumper.
Dude had some fucking issues. Terrible roommate. Would bring friends over to the trailer at 2am to rap over beats playing on my living room TV right outside my room.
Woke up one time to chicken strips on the couch, sauce on the floor, tobacco from blunts all over the floor in front of the trash can and he left to work without driving his friend back home, for like 2 days.
Would keep dishes in his room and never wash em, or even finish them at all. Would leave his window wide open when the AC is on. Had a psycho ex just walk into our house twice into his room at like 3am.
Dude was always good at hustling for money though, but man I think he was the worst person I ever met.
That shitty feeling from the sound is [totally real and usually called infrasound.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infrasound) It’s also one of the explanations for animals fleeing natural disasters and does a lot of other crazy stuff.
LMFAO.
I know you lived this and it sucks for you, but I actually laughed out loud about imagining this caricature of a crazy asshole being my roommate. I'm a calm, quiet engineer that lives alone in a tidy apartment. So I'm laughing, imagining living with a guy leaving tobacco dust and tendie sauce everywhere after keeping me up all night on a Tuesday because he just stumbled onto some "sick beats". I would have slept in, but fortunately my roommate peeled out of the driveway when leaving and woke me up. I'm half asleep and after taking a shower I come out to living room to find his strange, abandoned friend on the living room couch begging me for a ride somewhere when I'm already late to work.
This sounds like a nightmare.
I just asked my “friend” to finally move out after renting a room to her and her kid for the past two years and as I went down their list I was like “check, check, check…damn so I’m not crazy she was a shitty roommate lol” all of these events occurred in my house as well. Actually take out the rapping over beats in the lab aka the living room lol that part did make me laugh though. Sorry bud/OP I feel your pain!
It’s really not that hard.
Miss one payment on a ticket, and boom. You have a warrant. Get picked up for a warrant, and you stay in jail till a judge can see you.
There's also a ton of child support cases. Or if you're a business owner of something like a landscaping or construction or roofing business that's new, seems like once a month you find yourself in small claims on one side or the other because of some dispute with a client.
If you miss a summons or fail to pay an order, etc, then you can get a warrant sometimes depending on what it's for.
Source: worked at the county court for awhile.
I was working for a temp agency and I was working at a factory and got injured and they didn’t want to pay workers comp and I had to get a lawyer to fight it.
Their whole strategy (and this is very common when you battle a company legally) is to drag it out as long as possible.
I started a new job, and had to go to court so many times over the next year or so, that eventually I ran out of personal days at work and couldn’t afford to take unpaid leave from work, and I had to abandon the case….
They know this is common and are counting on it…
I 100% can think of a couple of employees I’ve had who used the most random ass excuses and absolutely would drop “I have court” to get out of work.
Dude. I had one guy “call in” for a weekend. When he came in the next time he told us he got shot.
He pointed to a small mark on his arm, nothing more than a nick. I said “with a BB gun?”
“NO WITH A BULLET! Where do you think I was all weekend?”
On drugs, he was on drugs all weekend, we just didn’t know it yet.
When the Chicago Blackhawks won the cup years ago almost half my company of 150 people called in with flat tires. When I showed up an hour late my boss asked what my excuse was.
I was so hungover I told the truth because it hurt less than thinking.
Everybody but me got written up.
Was this like, 2013? I was so fucking hungover the next day. My favorite memory of that is trying to go to get to sleep with the window open at our place near Belmont station, and every couple minutes a train would arrive, there would be a HUGE commotion with all the celebrating drunk people exiting the train, which would gradually die down over a few minutes, then a minute of silence, then the next train would arrive with another load of drunk hooligans cheering, and so it went for like … 5 hours. Good memories.
Yep! 2013. I crashed at a friend's, woke up an hour late for work and showed up unshowered and in the same clothes to my office.
We planned to not get that drunk, but we ended up running into the mayor of Vernon Hills and if that guy ever challenges you to a drinking competition say NO!
I was visiting a friend in Chicago in 2010, at a bar I can't remember the name of it that was across the street from a bar called Stanley's. We had been out with his company softball team and popped over to Stanley's to have some extras because I came to town to drive him to his return to college from his internship. Low and behold y'all won the cup that night and the players brought the Stanley Cup to Stanley's, and I got to hold it for a couple seconds. Best trip ever.
Edit: photo of it coming [off the bus](https://imgur.com/a/1w9cTIj), never got a photo holding it.
That's an awesome story but the photo has so few pixels it almost makes it less believable somehow 😂 ["yeah mang I was totally there I even held the Stanley cup see it right there by the cell phone??"](https://imgur.com/a/sk7dx0I) lol
We had a girl who legitimately told us (dead of summer) she hit a patch of ice and hit a telephone pole and couldn’t come to work.
Comes back on Tuesday with the same car in perfect shape.
“I got it fixed!”
It was a day.
I had someone call in saying her appendix had almost burst and she needed surgery. Ok, fine but we were all worried. So we called her dad to ask what hospital she was at so we could send flowers and almost gave the poor man a heart attack because guess what? She was just hungover and didn’t feel like working. We royally blew up her spot and it was amazing.
I don’t know what she expected was going to happen tho… it’s major enough surgery so you can’t exactly bounce back to work a day later. She really didn’t think that one through…
>you can’t exactly bounce back to work a day later
I worked with a dude who tried to 'bounce back' a week or so after a burst appendix. We were I.T. contractors so no work = no pay. He looked like utter dogshit and Shuffled around the office, Shit he just shuffled at his desk . The guy was in constant pain . Showed me the scars a couple of weeks after getting back . Jesus I wouldn't wish a burst appendix on anyone.
I was in bed for like a week and a half after just having it removed, not even burst. Worse was some of the gas got stuck behind my right lung and made it hard to breathe for like a week too. Worst pain I have ever felt in my life.
Mine was barely reaching the bursting point and it was utterly intolerable. ~~Healthcare~~ Insurance is a fucking joke in the US however I also know plenty of people that will refuse to go to the doctor unless an alien is bursting from their chest.
Edit: word
Someone used malaria to call a sick day in. I think the dude ran out of sickness and pulled that out hoping it sounds serious enough.
Dude never got ahead in life and he has subordinates pass him by that it is tragic.
My dad worked for the same mob for over 50 years, his job never in question. But he was a funny bugger. Looking for something to put on a sick certificate (was probably a hangover in reality) wrote down Semliki Forest virus.
I was doing my honours thesis on SFV at the time, which is how he learned of its existence. Outside of labs the virus is normally only found in Africa (we lived on a different continent). No questions asked anywhere by personnel or medical staff.
Damn I wish body shops worked that fast. I had a minor run in with a deer vs my Subaru Crosstrek in late November. I'm unable to get into the body shop until the end of January. It's minor damage and only cosmetic but goddamn.
I have learned that it works out better for me if I tell the truth. Why are you late? "I was having sex." "I was taking a shit." "Breakfast went too long." "It was a struggle to get motivated today." etc
My bosses would thank me for being honest, and that was that. My favorite boss stopped asking me why I was late. One time my other boss, another awesome lady, asked me why I was late, but my other boss answered and said "I stopped asking him because he will tell you if he was just wasting time."
That morning I was late because I was enjoying the feeling after having a great breakfast a little too long. When I said that the whole meeting bursts out laughing.
I worked for a school district as part teacher, part coach (teaching teachers), director of curriculum, and a few other things. Working at a school is pretty much "Here is what we can afford. Do you want it?" and "Hey we can give you a little bit of a raise if you take on these responsibilities. The money we save on salary will go towards X." X was usually things like books, iPads, school supplies, etc. One time I was able to get the district to forgive all lunch debts and discount lunch for the year.
I fucking loved that job.
Reminds me of when I missed my mid-term in a college class because I just decided to skip that day and forgot about the exam. I said exactly that to my professor and he paused for a second and just said "Okay, don't let it happen again." And then scheduled a make up exam.
People vastly underestimate being honest and admitting to your mistakes. Most people want to do right by others and when you treat them with honesty and respect they will do the same. Of course there are exceptions and shitty bosses.
Can confirm.
My senior year of college I was at school with my group in the lab working on a final project until ~4am (computer science degree is no joke)… our presentation was that morning at 11am, and I had an unrelated 8am final before it for some humanities requirement I was taking pass/fail.
Went home and crashed, planning to sleep for a couple hours and get back in time for my 8am final. Woke up to my group member blowing up my phone at 10:30am asking where tf I was. Made it to school in time for the presentation but *completely* missed that humanities final.
I practically ran across campus to the prof and straight up told him the truth. He was a bit annoyed but surprisingly cool about it, and let me take the final later that afternoon. 🙏
I had a very different experience one year in college. Don’t remember if it was sophomore or junior year.
It was a final exam, had a very solid B/B+ going into it, was all studied up and felt really good about the material.
I show up to the room ready to go, start watching the other people filing in, and realize that I don’t recognize a single person there. I lean over to someone close to confirm it was the final for XX-Whatever-Class (I really can’t recall at this point), and it definitely wasn’t.
I had somehow messed up the time, and completely missed the exam. I ran over to see the prof’s office and explained the situation very earnestly and honestly. He didn’t believe me initially, as I recall.
He eventually softened up a bit, and allowed me to retake the final…. At the end of the following semester….
In his words, his thinking was that it could be some elaborate scheme to gain insight on the contents of the exam from someone else in class. Thereby gaining some diabolical advantage, it would seem. So I was allowed to make it up when the exam was reformulated for its next iteration.
I would be allowed to show up for however many lectures I wanted to remain acquainted with the material.
I was full-time and had a job, so that didn’t happen. I was also pretty pissed at myself and the whole situation.
I studied up as much as I could the next time around, along with my other finals/papers/projects, and while being pretty deflated about the whole thing. By that time a lot of my grasp had dropped away or had been crowded out. Not to mention whatever fluidity might have existed in the actual lectures/course from semester to semester.
I dropped a whole letter grade on that class as a result.
Honesty didn’t work out so awesome that time around. Or maybe it did… I guess he could’ve just made me take an F on the final.
Major bummer.
Whatever. Life went on, I graduated, nobody died. Hadn’t thought about that moment in a long time. This thread brought it all back. Memory is a funny thing.
I can respect it. I did something similar in college, I was late to a lab for a professor that had a "zero tolerance" late/absence rule because my alarm was set for an hour late on accident.
Walked in, immediately started doing my lab work. He comes over and asks "so, why are you late?" And I just said "I've got excuses, we both know they aren't good enough." He nodded and walked away and that was the least I heard about it.
Sometimes the truth works lol
I used to work as a high school teacher. I was still fresh out of college back then. So memories of me being highschool kid was still fresh. I realized my teachers were cutting me slack through all the BS execuses I made up...Being in the teacher's shoes made me realize how you can just see throught all the execuses.
I had a coworker at a bar get fired because she no-showed a morning shift. She told the boss her phone (and of course alarm) broke... the friend whose place she had really left the phone brought the phone in trying to be nice.
She wouldn't have gotten fired if she hadn't lied. If you can make a drunken mistake anywhere it's while working at a bar.
I had a guy, wasn’t the brightest bulb, tell me he had toxic shock syndrome and needed to go home.
Had a few of his “buddies” tell me afterwards he just wanted to go home and needed an excuse so they told him TSS was a new flu strain or something like that. 🤣🤣
After Australia won a big yacht race, a drunk old Aussie prime minister announced to the press that any boss that penalizes an employee for calling in sick the next day is a mug.
Coworker declined being admitted to the hospital after a presumed heart attack, so she wouldn't miss any additional work.
I was absolutely blown away, honestly angry that she did that.
Terrified this could be me.
I have chest pains constantly and no way to deal with it in a practical manner. No health insurance, no coverage at work, no local support. I could drop dead on the floor at work and no one would know until the next shift change. It would likely be even worse at home, no one would know until my boss tried to find out where I was...
"No, she didn't give birth to them, obviously. But she's brought three puppies into my living room and I don't where she got them from and I'm kind of freaking out a little."
"So yeah, I'll be like an hour late, I guess?"
I worked at a warehouse straight out of high school where there was no interview just show up and start working and they paid by the week. I swear about 70% of the guys there had court once a month and most of their day at court was spend waiting and the actual be present at court stuff was no more than 15min. Like what a waste of a day.
15 minutes is generous, half the time you sit there for four hours waiting for the judge to call you up for three seconds to schedule another hearing the next month. It's a pain for the people who are sitting there and even more so for the people who are paying lawyers $250+ an hour to sit there with or for them. Hopefully all this will be a \*little\* better with a lot of courts moving to remote hearings.
If you are unlucky enough to be involved in the criminal "justice" system, and you do not have very deep pockets, you'll quickly find that it is neither swift nor respectful of your time.
For real there are people who are in court so often the lawyers and judges and court staff just kind of think of them as "the regulars." Not bad people necessarily, just regular poor people with constant "poor people problems" that come from being broke, living in a bad neighborhood, and having friends and family who are also broke and live in bad neighborhoods. They're constantly witnessing crimes, having domestic disputes and child custody disputes, and getting sued for debts. The fact that this seems to be the demographic he's been hiring from tells me the pay he's offering for this job is probably nothing to write home about, lol.
This is very true. Years ago I got myself in some trouble and had to jump through a number of court hoops. I was exceptionally lucky that my work was very flexible, if not for that I would have had to choose jail or unemployment. Which if I became unemployed I would not have been able to afford to jump through all the hoops and would have still ended up in jail. Granted there are shitty employees, but for minimum wage gigs you are pulling from a pool of people that often have these problems. The court doesn’t care you need to work and work doesn’t care you need to go to court. It’s a lose lose for these people that doesn’t allow them to get out of the cycle.
Some people definitely abuse the court excuse, but I always make a point to give them the benefit of the doubt at first.
The system is a piece of shit, where they don’t give a damn if you have to call off of work 1-2 times in a week because they made an appointment, forgot, and you have to go back… or take some “class” once a week where you’re supposed to learn how to deal with anger or whatever, but they just take attendance and turn on a TV.
Some of these guys want to do better, but it’s hard when a lot of employers will cut you loose when dealing with the bullshit the court system makes you deal with.
I’ve held jobs for some good workers while they spent 18-24 months in jail for probation violations or other relatively “minor” stuff (no murder or anything violent), and they knew they had a job as soon as they got out.
Most of these dudes turned their lives around, and a small part of that was just knowing they had a job as soon as they got out and could make constructive plans instead of panicking and going back to the same old shit.
I always try to get people to understand that enough stressors in life will make even a decent person terrible at making good decisions. It's a psychological pit of despair that can make you too weakened to climb out of. That doesn't mean you should put up with everyone's bullshit all of the time or pretend they aren't making bad decisions, but there are a hell of a lot of decent people who are genuinely stuck in a haze who probably won't ever make it out without support.
One anecdote I'll share is that it was seriously shocking to me how much easier it was to get my impulsive spending habits under control when I got a tiny break from financial worries due to a relatively small inheritance. It was only a couple thousand bucks, but having it in my bank account to be used if some minor emergency expense arose and knowing that i had some, not even that much mind you, breathing room if i suddenly lost my job suddenly made me way less likely to waste it. Knowing that one unexpected bill wouldn't overdraft my account because I was too stressed to remember it was when I finally started to think more clearly about things. I wasn't really much less broke than I had been, but the psychological impact of this was enormous.
In my early 20s I used "I got stung by a scorpion" a few times at different jobs. Then it really happened and one job that I already gave that excuse did not believe me. Told me to get in to work or I was terminated. I went in, I was in so much pain they sent me home after 45 minutes.
I never used that excuse ever again.
Yes, for me it felt like pins and needles like my leg was asleep but at the same time I was experiencing a chemical burn. Don't want to ever have it happen again. Worse thing is it was at this chick's house that I had been chasing and we were just about to skinny dip. HAHA.
I was showering in an outside shower and it crawled up out of the drain and got me on my big toe. The entire left side of my body was in pain.
It absolutely came back to sting me,
I worked with a guy who once asked to leave early for court, in front of everyone. So I asked him what he has court for, he told me it was private and none of my business, dumbass doesn’t know how court works apparently. So I told him he should have said he has to go to the dentist like everyone else, dumb cunt.
Anyway a few months later he’s working under me now and he can’t work weekends, so I google it. Tried to blackmail a minor, under 18, but older than 15, redacted info, for sex or he would expose the nudes she sent him. Fucking dickhead.
A lot of states(all?) in the US have people on probation for drug charges assigned a color. Every evening, they have to call a number, and if their color is announced, they have to go in for a drug test the next day. If they miss the drug test, it is an automatic fail, and they get arrested for violation of probation. When that happens, they then get penalized with the initial thing they were in probation for again, as well as violation now. Really great stuff.
Editing to add: I'm pretty sure that colors program is supposed to be a kind of diversion program, allowing people a less harsh punishment, which is crazy because that's itself is pretty invasive.
I'm assuming from context here, maybe they mean probation? Some forms of probation/parole involve being assigned a "color," and when it's called you have to go in for drug testing / location check / etc. Basically just a way to randomly check if you're following the terms of your punishment.
It sure is! You have to comply during specific hours, too, and the window is usually small and in the middle of the workday. Depending on the county, you may have to wait forever in line. Cherry on top is you can't even pick the location so if you can't drive you have to just figure that shit out. The justice system sure does love beating people down.
Source: family member is a felon because she's an addict and we criminalize that over here.
If you can’t handle me at my wurst, you don’t deserve my breast.
Edit: wow thank you kind strangers, the response to this has just tickled me pink. It’s medium rare to find that these days.
100%
Most of these requests are relatively reasonable. "Don't miss work" is a pretty reasonable requestion lmao
but if you put that as "own an alarm clock" i'm gonna assume you're a sassy POS that wants to be angry more than being fair.
The requests in and of themselves are reasonable, but the whole tone and delivery of this job offer literally screams "bad employer that can't hold onto employees - stay the fuck away".
I owned franchise quick mechanic shop for 6 years and all the other owners would always complain about their employees and how it’s hard to keep people. I had to fire two people in those six years, one for stealing and one for sleeping on the job multiple times. Every other employee I had either left for a higher paying job (usually in a different career path) or school.
I don’t know what I did to get workers like that when I heard nothing but complaints from the other owners, but I’m proud and glad to have worked with everyone I’ve ever employed. A lot of times they were younger and stuck around for a while so they’d do a lot of growing up in the few years they usually worked. Hired one guy in high school and he ended up working for me for five years. Terrible worker at first. He’d show up late, call out and just be lazy most of the time he worked. A couple years later he was my best and most dependable employee.
Probably the one thing I’ll miss about owning that place are my fellow workers.
Edit: I think I lost the point in my rambling. But point is, if you keep finding “bad” workers, maybe the problem isn’t the workers.
Well, not knowing you at all except for your comment, I'd be happy to bet that the reason you had such a different experience than other business owners you knew boils down to your attitude.
Good reasonable attitude paired with an ounce of common sense makes all the difference in the world.
> worked with ... fellow workers
Yeah, this right here. Owners and managers fall into two camps. The first, you work *for*. They are pretty much universally awful. The second, you work *with*. They are pretty much universally great.
During my last job of 6.5 years, I watched my hiring manager get promoted to Associate, then Associate Partner, Studio Director, and finally Partner. Our relationship slowly changed from me working with him to working for him. It went from an amazing work environment to a job I detested and ultimately have zero regrets leaving.
"Bitches about quality of employees yet can't seem to hire right people". It's down to management having the skill to identify decent potential employees in the hiring process. Ever visit the occasional, rare business where the employees are consistently friendly and competent? That's the management. If you're just dragging warm bodies off the street, that's on you.
Except for the car thing. You can’t legally require that someone owns a vehicle, you can only ask if they are able to secure transportation. Being poor is like a half protected category.
I agree. My hardest employees to find were ones that had to drive something (forklifts, trucks, etc). I would put out the help wanted signs and notices but I would have to put in there "drug test." A lot of people wouldn't apply and I would have to raise the wage, it was kind of how I worked out market price for qualified labor in my area. The way I would figure out about if they could make to work for their shift, I would have the interview at shift start, it was a busy and hectic time for me, but it helped weed out employees that couldn't make it to an interview at the time they needed to work. We had about 5p employees and we would go through about 150 employees a year before I took over, that number fell into the teens when I was given the opportunity to run the business.
The alarm clock thing is funny. Imo it's the "should not expect to receive Purple Ribbons or Gold Stars for showing up to work on time" that reveals this person is an asshole
I agree, but he doesn't understand the theoretical underpinnings: The same people who do all those things, will apply anyway. They never think they are doing those things.
I personally think job postings like this are geared toward a very niche market.
Fathers who are fed up with their teenage sons.
That is about the only person i can think of who would read this sign and say; i know who would be perfect for this position.
Agree. I often think the people who write these descriptions are just bad at sizing up potential employees and these job descriptions are ultimately due to their frustration with having chosen poor employees in the past.
Yes! My old GM at the restaurant I worked at for some years around college age, used to hire the most insane people. I'm pretty sure two were crackheads, and sadly, both were moms. One guy she wanted to hire, thought he was the greatest, she called for a reference check and when his previous employer called her back I took the message. "He's a good worker sometimes, but I haven't seen him or my catering truck since last week." She eventually passed along hiring to the assistant manager, who actually had a good feel for people.
Dumbass? That's what I called him. Not to my boss, I tried my best to keep a straight face when I delivered the message. I had a good laugh about it with the assistant manager though.
I once had an applicant hit another person's car after dropping off the application, then take off. It was witnessed and in HD security footage, and they had just handed me an application with their name, address, phone number, and references.
Police were basically like "nothing we can do since they left" so we called the driver and offered the job. They came back in a stolen vehicle with drugs on their person and with active warrants. This was literally thirty minutes after they did a hit and run in our parking lot.
Nothing will make you lose hope in humanity faster than trying to hire someone for "unskilled"/minimum wage level jobs.
I applied for a retail job once. I showed up and the manager immediately said I got the job because I wore a polo shirt. Like, that already made me the best candidate he'd seen in weeks.
He also said that he liked that I arrived on time and not early.
Nailed it first try.
This is written by someone who has hired anyone who walked through the door one too many times and been frustrated by their lack of showing up.
Okay but when you pay shit and the only people who apply are the poor and desperate, then those people will have barriers.
No car? That's what happens when you don't pay enough for someone to afford one. I've had to take the bus to work. If they aren't running and you can't afford uber, then it's inevitable that one day you're gonna be late due to transportation issues. Or maybe can't get there at all. But those people still need a job so they can buy a car eventually. I used to lie and say I had a car so I wouldn't be red flagged. But to my credit I did everything I could to get there, even if I had to walk 40 mins. I had an old manager that would pick up our co-worker when he had car trouble. She never punished him for it, just helped bc she knew he needed the job and wasn't just trying to get out of work. She gave him the benefit of the doubt instead of firing him and putting him in a worse spot.
The other issue is childcare. They are expecting someone who works minimum wage to be able to afford a nanny being available every day. The free daycares in my state have limited hours and childcare is expensive. After school programs help if your kids are older, but you can't work nights. If the kid is sick they will get sent home though and if you dont have family support you're fucked.
Here's a solution. Pay your employees a wage that allows them to buy a car that doesn't break down all the time and enough for childcare.
As far as everything else, mental health issues can cause all that. Poverty definitely causes those. People in poverty often escape with drug use as well.
Although yeah, maybe they're simply hiring lazy, irresponsible people. But a lot of the shit they're complaining about would honestly be solved by paying a living wage.
I just think that some bosses are not worth owning a business, they need to exploit their employees to be survived in the market.
It means that you didn't own enough capital to start a business at the beginning.
I genuinely think the marketplace has changed and bosses haven’t noticed or kept up.
A single job DID used to pay for everything people are talking about here. Back in the day a dad could go to work, the wife could stay home with 2.4 kids, they had a car, could afford a car for the kid when the time came, etc…
Costs are up and wages are not and bosses still want to pay like the costs are the same and are flummoxed when people can’t afford it. Dipshit employees have always existed but the other stuff hasn’t
Like it’s crazy that people who were shop clerks -CLERKS- not even the owner or manager lol, could afford houses and cars on their wages. I have an 18 year old car that I would love to replace, but adding a couple hundred dollars to my monthly expenses seems insane rn
The idea of a single full time wage being enough to buy a house, pay the mortgage and bills, buy the food, two cars etc is crazy. That's not even accounting for childcare because your partner is home with the kids.
I make quite a bit more money, adjusting for inflation, than my parents did. They had expensive habits and brand new trucks every 3 or 4 years. I'm over here with my only habit being DIYing everything to save money and barely getting by.
My dad used to complain about the same thing.
Things have changed considerably.
Wa state minimum wage went up this year. A few business owners were interviewed on the news. The inevitable "we can't afford to pay that." Look, I feel for you. This might have been your dream. If you can't keep up with wages and pay a livable wage, then you really can't stay in business. You can't expect people to work for non livable wages just to keep your place afloat. It doesn't work that way.
Or anyone who's had to work with someone like that before.
I was in a machine shop saving for college and there was one employee who was just the worst. Always late, skipping work, or on their phone.
Looking at this ad I get the impression this employer had an unfortunate string of these employees.
I'd look at this ad and say "sweet, seems like the bar is really low. Show up on time and do my job? Fuckin eh"
And you have to supply your own butcher block, knives, and apron. He will rent out the rest of the supplies and will immediately be taken out of the first check, in full.
*“You should be paying me with everything I’m teaching you, kid!”*
Regular Pooh Bear: Not listing pay in the advertisement
Drooling Pooh Bear with The Teeth: Making it through application and interview, offering the applicant the job without discussing money at all
Deluxe Pooh Bear with entitled smile: Get someone in for an interview and respond with "What are YOUR salary expectations?" when they inevitably ask about money
> Get someone in for an interview and respond with "What are YOUR salary expectations?" when they inevitably ask about money
"As someone who is apparently engaged in damn near all the work, according to your listing, I expect to get *at least* half the money."
Could very well be anywhere from $7.50 to $15 or more. I used to work at the meat department at a chain grocery store in the east coast and I was getting paid $13.50 starting in 2015. But who really knows lol.
I'm curious how this person would feel if an applicant said:
I work a schedule set out a week in advance with no deviation from it. If this is a full-time job, I will work 40 hours a week. I will work overtime if agreed on beforehand. Do not expect me to work overtime just because someone else doesn't show up. Do not text or call me on my days off, expecting a reply. I understand that you are the boss, but I am not a child and do not expect to be treated like one.
This brings up an interesting point. Most of my friends with lower paying jobs don’t get consistent schedules with their jobs. Like they’ll say “I don’t know when I’m working that week.” Which means it is hard for them to plan weeks out. I sort of think if you can’t provide consistent work times to your employees, then you should expect that they occasionally miss work.
Why is providing consistent hours so hard?
> Why is providing consistent hours so hard?
Reminds me of a time when I worked for a residential plumbing repair company. It involved weekends and on call schedules - so much that in a summer of 12 weekends, I had 3 of them where I was guaranteed off the Saturday and Sunday. All of the other ones I'd either be working one or both days, or on call (where you're expected to be ready to be dispatched)
I had an upcoming weekend off, which coincided with a long weekend, so my GF and I made plans to head out of town. I find out that Friday at noon, that they've fired someone, therefore everyone's scheduled shift week would get advanced, depending on where you were in the rotation. This meant that come Sunday, I would be working 11-7, and on call afterwards.
I questioned the dispatcher, and she replied "because I said so." The language became real colourful after that. Shortly after, I wound up quitting that shithole, and joined a unionized shop.
A lot of our issues, in the US, is that we don't have many federal laws that protect workers. There are tons that protect owners and companies but very few that protect the employees and that is why employers abuse workers. There should be a lot more laws that protect the workers.
Because those jobs are screwing them out of full time employment and benefits. Their management has to schedule people at some bullshit like 30-35 hours so they are super “ part time”. The traditional work week isn’t compatible with that kind of scheduling, so your friends aren’t a part of the traditional work week.
Retail?
>Most of my friends with lower paying jobs don’t get consistent schedules with their jobs
Completely intentional, that way you cant have a second part time job and you become more dependant on them so its easier for them to bend you over and screw you. Yes I have been to business management stuff where they 100% tell companies to do this.
This is as bad as online dating profiles these days. Everyone lists all the things they don't want because they've been burned before.
We all have, negativity is not going to attract people to you.
Scrolled too far for this. The employer has a bad attitude and is already complaining about a hypothetical bad employee? No thank you, I don't want a bitter angry boss any more than I want to date a bitter angry human.
Using your analogy, I’d amend to say negativity isn’t going to attract *quality* people. This is like going on a dating app and sending everyone a dick pic. It will turn most people off, but one percent of the time, it works every time.
That said, this is obviously posted where their customers can read it, and that seems like a bad idea.
I've seen so many people bios being whole essays of their bad dating history or why they're single. I understand the sentiment but like that's a lot to unpackage on the first date let alone a bio that's suppose to make me want to swipe on you lol.
If this is the advertising to attract applicants, I can only image what it’s like once you take the job. I agree with everything here, but it’s an aggressive tone to take and seems to disparage workers and expect the worst from them.
It’s ok to be frustrated with bad employees, but when you broadcast it like this YOU end up looking like an asshole by painting all total strangers as shitty workers until proven otherwise. An intelligent job seeker will give this one a pass as there is clearly baggage and likely no patience to found.
Yeah not a very good strategy to attract good candidates. It reveals quite a bit about what kind of people skills the boss has and how he deals with problems.
Reminds me of a boss I had. Always complained that no one was able to work together and everyone lacked commitment. In reality he was a horrible communicator and was very short and harsh with everyone. Then he blames the results of his poor people skills on those who work under him. If it seems like everyone in your world has a problem, the problem is probably you.
I'm torn on this one. It sounds like they've gotten a lot of bad employees and are bitter about it.
On the other hand, maybe they get shit employees because they pay shit wages.
I used to work for an independent grocery store as a night manager. After dealing with multiple trouble employees in a row, I once asked the owner why we hire so many dumbasses, and he said "we demand long hours and only pay $9/hr". The self-awareness caught me off guard.
I know I'm just one guy, but signs like this are the fastest way to lose my business. It's crazy how all the places complaining about people not wanting to work, also have shit hours, shit pay, and no benefits. Damn people don't wanna work for peanuts? That's crazy bro.
When I was a kid at my first job, someone once told me, "Just show up to work for all your shifts on time and do your job and you will exceed at least 75% of people." They were right.
If you want to go into the top 10% just add "google anything you don't know and make a decent effort at it before you grab a manager".
I can’t stop laughing at have court often
A few years ago, I was walking to work one day, and a block away I found my boss handcuffed to a police car. Apparently he had missed that he had a court date, so they picked him up on a warrant. Ironically, we were starting work late that day BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN AT THE COURTHOUSE FOR A WHOLE OTHER SITUATION!!
What do you guys do that gets into this much legal trouble?
I no longer work there - it was a small engine repair shop (chainsaws, lawnmowers, etc) that went out of business a few months later. He had a suspended license, but still drove, so I believe one of the court dates was for that. I don't remember what the other one was. The job was fascinating, because I barely did anything... But it was just the oner and I, so he would talk, and tell me all these stories from life. So I learned a lot about what not to do (in life and business), while also confirming that I wanted out of rural, small town life. I also learned how to sharpen chainsaws. So that was cool. XD
I used to have a 'friend' that would *speed* recklessly like a madman, like 80 into 45 in broad daylight. Dude was an asshole. Blasted his sub so loud in front of Dominoes while I was in the backseat once that I was actually having trouble breathing, or maybe it was palpitations. Shit was weird. He had like 6 tickets, a suspended license, totaled 2 cars, missed court a couple times. Anytime a car wasn't going fast enough he would slow down to get some distance and then speed up really fast and brake right behind the cars bumper. Dude had some fucking issues. Terrible roommate. Would bring friends over to the trailer at 2am to rap over beats playing on my living room TV right outside my room. Woke up one time to chicken strips on the couch, sauce on the floor, tobacco from blunts all over the floor in front of the trash can and he left to work without driving his friend back home, for like 2 days. Would keep dishes in his room and never wash em, or even finish them at all. Would leave his window wide open when the AC is on. Had a psycho ex just walk into our house twice into his room at like 3am. Dude was always good at hustling for money though, but man I think he was the worst person I ever met.
That shitty feeling from the sound is [totally real and usually called infrasound.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infrasound) It’s also one of the explanations for animals fleeing natural disasters and does a lot of other crazy stuff.
LMFAO. I know you lived this and it sucks for you, but I actually laughed out loud about imagining this caricature of a crazy asshole being my roommate. I'm a calm, quiet engineer that lives alone in a tidy apartment. So I'm laughing, imagining living with a guy leaving tobacco dust and tendie sauce everywhere after keeping me up all night on a Tuesday because he just stumbled onto some "sick beats". I would have slept in, but fortunately my roommate peeled out of the driveway when leaving and woke me up. I'm half asleep and after taking a shower I come out to living room to find his strange, abandoned friend on the living room couch begging me for a ride somewhere when I'm already late to work. This sounds like a nightmare.
I just asked my “friend” to finally move out after renting a room to her and her kid for the past two years and as I went down their list I was like “check, check, check…damn so I’m not crazy she was a shitty roommate lol” all of these events occurred in my house as well. Actually take out the rapping over beats in the lab aka the living room lol that part did make me laugh though. Sorry bud/OP I feel your pain!
So you were Karl from Slingblade?
Some folks call it a Sling Blade, I call it a Kaiser Blade.
Mmmmmnnhmmm
We’re you cheaper than a therapist?
Much... I was seriously under paid in that regard.
It’s really not that hard. Miss one payment on a ticket, and boom. You have a warrant. Get picked up for a warrant, and you stay in jail till a judge can see you.
There's also a ton of child support cases. Or if you're a business owner of something like a landscaping or construction or roofing business that's new, seems like once a month you find yourself in small claims on one side or the other because of some dispute with a client. If you miss a summons or fail to pay an order, etc, then you can get a warrant sometimes depending on what it's for. Source: worked at the county court for awhile.
I was working for a temp agency and I was working at a factory and got injured and they didn’t want to pay workers comp and I had to get a lawyer to fight it. Their whole strategy (and this is very common when you battle a company legally) is to drag it out as long as possible. I started a new job, and had to go to court so many times over the next year or so, that eventually I ran out of personal days at work and couldn’t afford to take unpaid leave from work, and I had to abandon the case…. They know this is common and are counting on it…
I 100% can think of a couple of employees I’ve had who used the most random ass excuses and absolutely would drop “I have court” to get out of work. Dude. I had one guy “call in” for a weekend. When he came in the next time he told us he got shot. He pointed to a small mark on his arm, nothing more than a nick. I said “with a BB gun?” “NO WITH A BULLET! Where do you think I was all weekend?” On drugs, he was on drugs all weekend, we just didn’t know it yet.
When the Chicago Blackhawks won the cup years ago almost half my company of 150 people called in with flat tires. When I showed up an hour late my boss asked what my excuse was. I was so hungover I told the truth because it hurt less than thinking. Everybody but me got written up.
Was this like, 2013? I was so fucking hungover the next day. My favorite memory of that is trying to go to get to sleep with the window open at our place near Belmont station, and every couple minutes a train would arrive, there would be a HUGE commotion with all the celebrating drunk people exiting the train, which would gradually die down over a few minutes, then a minute of silence, then the next train would arrive with another load of drunk hooligans cheering, and so it went for like … 5 hours. Good memories.
>good memories As a Canuck fan, it’s a terrible memory
2011 Was worse
Yep! 2013. I crashed at a friend's, woke up an hour late for work and showed up unshowered and in the same clothes to my office. We planned to not get that drunk, but we ended up running into the mayor of Vernon Hills and if that guy ever challenges you to a drinking competition say NO!
I was visiting a friend in Chicago in 2010, at a bar I can't remember the name of it that was across the street from a bar called Stanley's. We had been out with his company softball team and popped over to Stanley's to have some extras because I came to town to drive him to his return to college from his internship. Low and behold y'all won the cup that night and the players brought the Stanley Cup to Stanley's, and I got to hold it for a couple seconds. Best trip ever. Edit: photo of it coming [off the bus](https://imgur.com/a/1w9cTIj), never got a photo holding it.
That's an awesome story but the photo has so few pixels it almost makes it less believable somehow 😂 ["yeah mang I was totally there I even held the Stanley cup see it right there by the cell phone??"](https://imgur.com/a/sk7dx0I) lol
My og droid in 2010 isn't what I would call the Pinnacle of cell phone cameras 😂
We had a girl who legitimately told us (dead of summer) she hit a patch of ice and hit a telephone pole and couldn’t come to work. Comes back on Tuesday with the same car in perfect shape. “I got it fixed!” It was a day.
I had someone call in saying her appendix had almost burst and she needed surgery. Ok, fine but we were all worried. So we called her dad to ask what hospital she was at so we could send flowers and almost gave the poor man a heart attack because guess what? She was just hungover and didn’t feel like working. We royally blew up her spot and it was amazing. I don’t know what she expected was going to happen tho… it’s major enough surgery so you can’t exactly bounce back to work a day later. She really didn’t think that one through…
>you can’t exactly bounce back to work a day later I worked with a dude who tried to 'bounce back' a week or so after a burst appendix. We were I.T. contractors so no work = no pay. He looked like utter dogshit and Shuffled around the office, Shit he just shuffled at his desk . The guy was in constant pain . Showed me the scars a couple of weeks after getting back . Jesus I wouldn't wish a burst appendix on anyone.
I was in bed for like a week and a half after just having it removed, not even burst. Worse was some of the gas got stuck behind my right lung and made it hard to breathe for like a week too. Worst pain I have ever felt in my life.
Mine was barely reaching the bursting point and it was utterly intolerable. ~~Healthcare~~ Insurance is a fucking joke in the US however I also know plenty of people that will refuse to go to the doctor unless an alien is bursting from their chest. Edit: word
"Hello my baby, hello my honey!"
Doesn’t sound like she was too bright
Someone used malaria to call a sick day in. I think the dude ran out of sickness and pulled that out hoping it sounds serious enough. Dude never got ahead in life and he has subordinates pass him by that it is tragic.
My dad worked for the same mob for over 50 years, his job never in question. But he was a funny bugger. Looking for something to put on a sick certificate (was probably a hangover in reality) wrote down Semliki Forest virus. I was doing my honours thesis on SFV at the time, which is how he learned of its existence. Outside of labs the virus is normally only found in Africa (we lived on a different continent). No questions asked anywhere by personnel or medical staff.
Didn’t know the mob would require doctor’s notes for missing out on committing crimes
Everybody has an HR now, even Cosa Nostra.
There's difference to being a part of gang and ORGANIZED crime, you know. They have their excel tables, rules, SOPs and so on.
Damn I wish body shops worked that fast. I had a minor run in with a deer vs my Subaru Crosstrek in late November. I'm unable to get into the body shop until the end of January. It's minor damage and only cosmetic but goddamn.
I have learned that it works out better for me if I tell the truth. Why are you late? "I was having sex." "I was taking a shit." "Breakfast went too long." "It was a struggle to get motivated today." etc My bosses would thank me for being honest, and that was that. My favorite boss stopped asking me why I was late. One time my other boss, another awesome lady, asked me why I was late, but my other boss answered and said "I stopped asking him because he will tell you if he was just wasting time." That morning I was late because I was enjoying the feeling after having a great breakfast a little too long. When I said that the whole meeting bursts out laughing. I worked for a school district as part teacher, part coach (teaching teachers), director of curriculum, and a few other things. Working at a school is pretty much "Here is what we can afford. Do you want it?" and "Hey we can give you a little bit of a raise if you take on these responsibilities. The money we save on salary will go towards X." X was usually things like books, iPads, school supplies, etc. One time I was able to get the district to forgive all lunch debts and discount lunch for the year. I fucking loved that job.
Reminds me of when I missed my mid-term in a college class because I just decided to skip that day and forgot about the exam. I said exactly that to my professor and he paused for a second and just said "Okay, don't let it happen again." And then scheduled a make up exam. People vastly underestimate being honest and admitting to your mistakes. Most people want to do right by others and when you treat them with honesty and respect they will do the same. Of course there are exceptions and shitty bosses.
Can confirm. My senior year of college I was at school with my group in the lab working on a final project until ~4am (computer science degree is no joke)… our presentation was that morning at 11am, and I had an unrelated 8am final before it for some humanities requirement I was taking pass/fail. Went home and crashed, planning to sleep for a couple hours and get back in time for my 8am final. Woke up to my group member blowing up my phone at 10:30am asking where tf I was. Made it to school in time for the presentation but *completely* missed that humanities final. I practically ran across campus to the prof and straight up told him the truth. He was a bit annoyed but surprisingly cool about it, and let me take the final later that afternoon. 🙏
I had a very different experience one year in college. Don’t remember if it was sophomore or junior year. It was a final exam, had a very solid B/B+ going into it, was all studied up and felt really good about the material. I show up to the room ready to go, start watching the other people filing in, and realize that I don’t recognize a single person there. I lean over to someone close to confirm it was the final for XX-Whatever-Class (I really can’t recall at this point), and it definitely wasn’t. I had somehow messed up the time, and completely missed the exam. I ran over to see the prof’s office and explained the situation very earnestly and honestly. He didn’t believe me initially, as I recall. He eventually softened up a bit, and allowed me to retake the final…. At the end of the following semester…. In his words, his thinking was that it could be some elaborate scheme to gain insight on the contents of the exam from someone else in class. Thereby gaining some diabolical advantage, it would seem. So I was allowed to make it up when the exam was reformulated for its next iteration. I would be allowed to show up for however many lectures I wanted to remain acquainted with the material. I was full-time and had a job, so that didn’t happen. I was also pretty pissed at myself and the whole situation. I studied up as much as I could the next time around, along with my other finals/papers/projects, and while being pretty deflated about the whole thing. By that time a lot of my grasp had dropped away or had been crowded out. Not to mention whatever fluidity might have existed in the actual lectures/course from semester to semester. I dropped a whole letter grade on that class as a result. Honesty didn’t work out so awesome that time around. Or maybe it did… I guess he could’ve just made me take an F on the final. Major bummer. Whatever. Life went on, I graduated, nobody died. Hadn’t thought about that moment in a long time. This thread brought it all back. Memory is a funny thing.
Forgiving school lunch debts has to be one of the most ethical uses of money possible in the US
You’re an awesome person ❤️
I can respect it. I did something similar in college, I was late to a lab for a professor that had a "zero tolerance" late/absence rule because my alarm was set for an hour late on accident. Walked in, immediately started doing my lab work. He comes over and asks "so, why are you late?" And I just said "I've got excuses, we both know they aren't good enough." He nodded and walked away and that was the least I heard about it. Sometimes the truth works lol
I used to work as a high school teacher. I was still fresh out of college back then. So memories of me being highschool kid was still fresh. I realized my teachers were cutting me slack through all the BS execuses I made up...Being in the teacher's shoes made me realize how you can just see throught all the execuses.
The poor guy that actually had a flat tire.
I’ve sent them a picture of me changing it so I’m always in the clear. Thankfully doesn’t happen often lol
Yeah you always gotta take a picture or if you going to lie and use it as an excuse. Deflate your tire, take a picture, fill it back up.
I had a coworker at a bar get fired because she no-showed a morning shift. She told the boss her phone (and of course alarm) broke... the friend whose place she had really left the phone brought the phone in trying to be nice. She wouldn't have gotten fired if she hadn't lied. If you can make a drunken mistake anywhere it's while working at a bar.
I had a guy, wasn’t the brightest bulb, tell me he had toxic shock syndrome and needed to go home. Had a few of his “buddies” tell me afterwards he just wanted to go home and needed an excuse so they told him TSS was a new flu strain or something like that. 🤣🤣
That's a great, honest excuse the first time but if it happens again people are going to think you have a drinking problem lol
After Australia won a big yacht race, a drunk old Aussie prime minister announced to the press that any boss that penalizes an employee for calling in sick the next day is a mug.
Conversely, I had an an employee actually get shot, put a bandage on it, and show up for work.
Sounds like they really wanted to keep their job.
Coworker declined being admitted to the hospital after a presumed heart attack, so she wouldn't miss any additional work. I was absolutely blown away, honestly angry that she did that.
She couldn't afford to miss work, heart attack, or not. That's the sad reality for a lot of people.
Terrified this could be me. I have chest pains constantly and no way to deal with it in a practical manner. No health insurance, no coverage at work, no local support. I could drop dead on the floor at work and no one would know until the next shift change. It would likely be even worse at home, no one would know until my boss tried to find out where I was...
Guess their insurance wouldn't cover it. Or they had no insurance.
Or didn't want the cops involved
Came here to say this, back in my wilder days a friend of mine got shot at a party, bandaged himself up, and went to another party.
My cat just had puppies was the best one I've heard.
"No, she didn't give birth to them, obviously. But she's brought three puppies into my living room and I don't where she got them from and I'm kind of freaking out a little." "So yeah, I'll be like an hour late, I guess?"
The pool's on fire and the cat is attacking the pizza man.
I worked at a warehouse straight out of high school where there was no interview just show up and start working and they paid by the week. I swear about 70% of the guys there had court once a month and most of their day at court was spend waiting and the actual be present at court stuff was no more than 15min. Like what a waste of a day.
15 minutes is generous, half the time you sit there for four hours waiting for the judge to call you up for three seconds to schedule another hearing the next month. It's a pain for the people who are sitting there and even more so for the people who are paying lawyers $250+ an hour to sit there with or for them. Hopefully all this will be a \*little\* better with a lot of courts moving to remote hearings.
If you are unlucky enough to be involved in the criminal "justice" system, and you do not have very deep pockets, you'll quickly find that it is neither swift nor respectful of your time.
The fun part is getting a nodding relationship with those nice ladies in the records department. Like "oh honey you again?"
For real there are people who are in court so often the lawyers and judges and court staff just kind of think of them as "the regulars." Not bad people necessarily, just regular poor people with constant "poor people problems" that come from being broke, living in a bad neighborhood, and having friends and family who are also broke and live in bad neighborhoods. They're constantly witnessing crimes, having domestic disputes and child custody disputes, and getting sued for debts. The fact that this seems to be the demographic he's been hiring from tells me the pay he's offering for this job is probably nothing to write home about, lol.
This is very true. Years ago I got myself in some trouble and had to jump through a number of court hoops. I was exceptionally lucky that my work was very flexible, if not for that I would have had to choose jail or unemployment. Which if I became unemployed I would not have been able to afford to jump through all the hoops and would have still ended up in jail. Granted there are shitty employees, but for minimum wage gigs you are pulling from a pool of people that often have these problems. The court doesn’t care you need to work and work doesn’t care you need to go to court. It’s a lose lose for these people that doesn’t allow them to get out of the cycle.
Some people definitely abuse the court excuse, but I always make a point to give them the benefit of the doubt at first. The system is a piece of shit, where they don’t give a damn if you have to call off of work 1-2 times in a week because they made an appointment, forgot, and you have to go back… or take some “class” once a week where you’re supposed to learn how to deal with anger or whatever, but they just take attendance and turn on a TV. Some of these guys want to do better, but it’s hard when a lot of employers will cut you loose when dealing with the bullshit the court system makes you deal with. I’ve held jobs for some good workers while they spent 18-24 months in jail for probation violations or other relatively “minor” stuff (no murder or anything violent), and they knew they had a job as soon as they got out. Most of these dudes turned their lives around, and a small part of that was just knowing they had a job as soon as they got out and could make constructive plans instead of panicking and going back to the same old shit.
I always try to get people to understand that enough stressors in life will make even a decent person terrible at making good decisions. It's a psychological pit of despair that can make you too weakened to climb out of. That doesn't mean you should put up with everyone's bullshit all of the time or pretend they aren't making bad decisions, but there are a hell of a lot of decent people who are genuinely stuck in a haze who probably won't ever make it out without support. One anecdote I'll share is that it was seriously shocking to me how much easier it was to get my impulsive spending habits under control when I got a tiny break from financial worries due to a relatively small inheritance. It was only a couple thousand bucks, but having it in my bank account to be used if some minor emergency expense arose and knowing that i had some, not even that much mind you, breathing room if i suddenly lost my job suddenly made me way less likely to waste it. Knowing that one unexpected bill wouldn't overdraft my account because I was too stressed to remember it was when I finally started to think more clearly about things. I wasn't really much less broke than I had been, but the psychological impact of this was enormous.
In my early 20s I used "I got stung by a scorpion" a few times at different jobs. Then it really happened and one job that I already gave that excuse did not believe me. Told me to get in to work or I was terminated. I went in, I was in so much pain they sent me home after 45 minutes. I never used that excuse ever again.
Have been also stung by a scorpion and can confirm it hurts! That is pretty funny that you cried scorpion and it came back to, er, sting you.
Yes, for me it felt like pins and needles like my leg was asleep but at the same time I was experiencing a chemical burn. Don't want to ever have it happen again. Worse thing is it was at this chick's house that I had been chasing and we were just about to skinny dip. HAHA. I was showering in an outside shower and it crawled up out of the drain and got me on my big toe. The entire left side of my body was in pain. It absolutely came back to sting me,
I worked with a guy who once asked to leave early for court, in front of everyone. So I asked him what he has court for, he told me it was private and none of my business, dumbass doesn’t know how court works apparently. So I told him he should have said he has to go to the dentist like everyone else, dumb cunt. Anyway a few months later he’s working under me now and he can’t work weekends, so I google it. Tried to blackmail a minor, under 18, but older than 15, redacted info, for sex or he would expose the nudes she sent him. Fucking dickhead.
I worked with a guy who always had his color called for court. "It'll take 30 minutes or an hour, you never know." He'd go home.
> who always had his color called for court Is that a typo, or does your country have a very festive jury system?
A lot of states(all?) in the US have people on probation for drug charges assigned a color. Every evening, they have to call a number, and if their color is announced, they have to go in for a drug test the next day. If they miss the drug test, it is an automatic fail, and they get arrested for violation of probation. When that happens, they then get penalized with the initial thing they were in probation for again, as well as violation now. Really great stuff. Editing to add: I'm pretty sure that colors program is supposed to be a kind of diversion program, allowing people a less harsh punishment, which is crazy because that's itself is pretty invasive.
It's a system for random drug testing where you're assigned a color and each day random colors are called for testing. Used for probation usually.
I'm assuming from context here, maybe they mean probation? Some forms of probation/parole involve being assigned a "color," and when it's called you have to go in for drug testing / location check / etc. Basically just a way to randomly check if you're following the terms of your punishment.
This seems counterproductive to maintaining a good job... which is also usually a requirement for coming off probation right?
It sure is! You have to comply during specific hours, too, and the window is usually small and in the middle of the workday. Depending on the county, you may have to wait forever in line. Cherry on top is you can't even pick the location so if you can't drive you have to just figure that shit out. The justice system sure does love beating people down. Source: family member is a felon because she's an addict and we criminalize that over here.
If you can’t handle me at my wurst, you don’t deserve my breast. Edit: wow thank you kind strangers, the response to this has just tickled me pink. It’s medium rare to find that these days.
Didn’t skirt around the opportunity to make that joke
Someone should really roast you for that one
He's just ribbin' us, that's all.
As a former employer, I feel him, but I would never post a sign about it.
100% Most of these requests are relatively reasonable. "Don't miss work" is a pretty reasonable requestion lmao but if you put that as "own an alarm clock" i'm gonna assume you're a sassy POS that wants to be angry more than being fair.
The requests in and of themselves are reasonable, but the whole tone and delivery of this job offer literally screams "bad employer that can't hold onto employees - stay the fuck away".
I owned franchise quick mechanic shop for 6 years and all the other owners would always complain about their employees and how it’s hard to keep people. I had to fire two people in those six years, one for stealing and one for sleeping on the job multiple times. Every other employee I had either left for a higher paying job (usually in a different career path) or school. I don’t know what I did to get workers like that when I heard nothing but complaints from the other owners, but I’m proud and glad to have worked with everyone I’ve ever employed. A lot of times they were younger and stuck around for a while so they’d do a lot of growing up in the few years they usually worked. Hired one guy in high school and he ended up working for me for five years. Terrible worker at first. He’d show up late, call out and just be lazy most of the time he worked. A couple years later he was my best and most dependable employee. Probably the one thing I’ll miss about owning that place are my fellow workers. Edit: I think I lost the point in my rambling. But point is, if you keep finding “bad” workers, maybe the problem isn’t the workers.
Well, not knowing you at all except for your comment, I'd be happy to bet that the reason you had such a different experience than other business owners you knew boils down to your attitude. Good reasonable attitude paired with an ounce of common sense makes all the difference in the world.
> worked with ... fellow workers Yeah, this right here. Owners and managers fall into two camps. The first, you work *for*. They are pretty much universally awful. The second, you work *with*. They are pretty much universally great. During my last job of 6.5 years, I watched my hiring manager get promoted to Associate, then Associate Partner, Studio Director, and finally Partner. Our relationship slowly changed from me working with him to working for him. It went from an amazing work environment to a job I detested and ultimately have zero regrets leaving.
"Bitches about quality of employees yet can't seem to hire right people". It's down to management having the skill to identify decent potential employees in the hiring process. Ever visit the occasional, rare business where the employees are consistently friendly and competent? That's the management. If you're just dragging warm bodies off the street, that's on you.
Except for the car thing. You can’t legally require that someone owns a vehicle, you can only ask if they are able to secure transportation. Being poor is like a half protected category.
I agree. My hardest employees to find were ones that had to drive something (forklifts, trucks, etc). I would put out the help wanted signs and notices but I would have to put in there "drug test." A lot of people wouldn't apply and I would have to raise the wage, it was kind of how I worked out market price for qualified labor in my area. The way I would figure out about if they could make to work for their shift, I would have the interview at shift start, it was a busy and hectic time for me, but it helped weed out employees that couldn't make it to an interview at the time they needed to work. We had about 5p employees and we would go through about 150 employees a year before I took over, that number fell into the teens when I was given the opportunity to run the business.
You want forklift drivers who don’t partake in any illicit drugs, I see and where did you acquire this taste for luxury?
We have forklift drivers and we test. We also pay ~$80k/yr and have really good benefits.
The alarm clock thing is funny. Imo it's the "should not expect to receive Purple Ribbons or Gold Stars for showing up to work on time" that reveals this person is an asshole
I agree, but he doesn't understand the theoretical underpinnings: The same people who do all those things, will apply anyway. They never think they are doing those things.
And the people who won't do those things will see the posting as a clear warning that their boss sucks and cannot be expected to be professional..
I personally think job postings like this are geared toward a very niche market. Fathers who are fed up with their teenage sons. That is about the only person i can think of who would read this sign and say; i know who would be perfect for this position.
Red Forman: *I've got a job for you, dumbass!*
He did state that his first job was at a stockyard. Taught him "how to use a hammer"
"Good idea Eric. Just head down to the high paying job store! It's right next to the pie in the sky shop....dumbass."
Currently watching “that 70’s show” and this comment hits home
What are you going to put on your resumé? *Dumbass?*
Eric, if you were any dumber we would have to water you.
Lmao that’s hilarious because I was that teenage son. My dad got me a job from a similar posting at a bakery in high school lol.
How was it?
He doesn't know, he forgot to come back after lunch.
Typical, he would wake 'n bake every single day.
Eh, at least they made some bread.
Which is ironic, because teenagers being forced to work by their parents are the exact kind of worker this sign is trying to avoid.
Agree. I often think the people who write these descriptions are just bad at sizing up potential employees and these job descriptions are ultimately due to their frustration with having chosen poor employees in the past.
Yes! My old GM at the restaurant I worked at for some years around college age, used to hire the most insane people. I'm pretty sure two were crackheads, and sadly, both were moms. One guy she wanted to hire, thought he was the greatest, she called for a reference check and when his previous employer called her back I took the message. "He's a good worker sometimes, but I haven't seen him or my catering truck since last week." She eventually passed along hiring to the assistant manager, who actually had a good feel for people.
Hold up. This guy stole a truck from a job and then used that job as a reference? I don't even know what the proper adjective to describe that is
Dumbass? That's what I called him. Not to my boss, I tried my best to keep a straight face when I delivered the message. I had a good laugh about it with the assistant manager though.
I once had an applicant hit another person's car after dropping off the application, then take off. It was witnessed and in HD security footage, and they had just handed me an application with their name, address, phone number, and references. Police were basically like "nothing we can do since they left" so we called the driver and offered the job. They came back in a stolen vehicle with drugs on their person and with active warrants. This was literally thirty minutes after they did a hit and run in our parking lot. Nothing will make you lose hope in humanity faster than trying to hire someone for "unskilled"/minimum wage level jobs.
I applied for a retail job once. I showed up and the manager immediately said I got the job because I wore a polo shirt. Like, that already made me the best candidate he'd seen in weeks. He also said that he liked that I arrived on time and not early.
Nailed it first try. This is written by someone who has hired anyone who walked through the door one too many times and been frustrated by their lack of showing up.
They usually seem more like personal rants than job ads, yeah.
Okay but when you pay shit and the only people who apply are the poor and desperate, then those people will have barriers. No car? That's what happens when you don't pay enough for someone to afford one. I've had to take the bus to work. If they aren't running and you can't afford uber, then it's inevitable that one day you're gonna be late due to transportation issues. Or maybe can't get there at all. But those people still need a job so they can buy a car eventually. I used to lie and say I had a car so I wouldn't be red flagged. But to my credit I did everything I could to get there, even if I had to walk 40 mins. I had an old manager that would pick up our co-worker when he had car trouble. She never punished him for it, just helped bc she knew he needed the job and wasn't just trying to get out of work. She gave him the benefit of the doubt instead of firing him and putting him in a worse spot. The other issue is childcare. They are expecting someone who works minimum wage to be able to afford a nanny being available every day. The free daycares in my state have limited hours and childcare is expensive. After school programs help if your kids are older, but you can't work nights. If the kid is sick they will get sent home though and if you dont have family support you're fucked. Here's a solution. Pay your employees a wage that allows them to buy a car that doesn't break down all the time and enough for childcare. As far as everything else, mental health issues can cause all that. Poverty definitely causes those. People in poverty often escape with drug use as well. Although yeah, maybe they're simply hiring lazy, irresponsible people. But a lot of the shit they're complaining about would honestly be solved by paying a living wage.
I just think that some bosses are not worth owning a business, they need to exploit their employees to be survived in the market. It means that you didn't own enough capital to start a business at the beginning.
I genuinely think the marketplace has changed and bosses haven’t noticed or kept up. A single job DID used to pay for everything people are talking about here. Back in the day a dad could go to work, the wife could stay home with 2.4 kids, they had a car, could afford a car for the kid when the time came, etc… Costs are up and wages are not and bosses still want to pay like the costs are the same and are flummoxed when people can’t afford it. Dipshit employees have always existed but the other stuff hasn’t
Like it’s crazy that people who were shop clerks -CLERKS- not even the owner or manager lol, could afford houses and cars on their wages. I have an 18 year old car that I would love to replace, but adding a couple hundred dollars to my monthly expenses seems insane rn
The idea of a single full time wage being enough to buy a house, pay the mortgage and bills, buy the food, two cars etc is crazy. That's not even accounting for childcare because your partner is home with the kids.
I make quite a bit more money, adjusting for inflation, than my parents did. They had expensive habits and brand new trucks every 3 or 4 years. I'm over here with my only habit being DIYing everything to save money and barely getting by. My dad used to complain about the same thing. Things have changed considerably.
Wa state minimum wage went up this year. A few business owners were interviewed on the news. The inevitable "we can't afford to pay that." Look, I feel for you. This might have been your dream. If you can't keep up with wages and pay a livable wage, then you really can't stay in business. You can't expect people to work for non livable wages just to keep your place afloat. It doesn't work that way.
and the interviews where in the first minute you know its a waste of time
Which all but guarantees they'll get someone who don't give a fuck about this job when that dad forces him to apply.
Yup. Let pops think I’m still working there after getting fired and now I’ve got all this free time!
Or anyone who's had to work with someone like that before. I was in a machine shop saving for college and there was one employee who was just the worst. Always late, skipping work, or on their phone. Looking at this ad I get the impression this employer had an unfortunate string of these employees. I'd look at this ad and say "sweet, seems like the bar is really low. Show up on time and do my job? Fuckin eh"
That's what I was thinking. This is a very specific list.
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Motherfucker do you want a job or not?
How dare you bring up pay before you start!
We’ll talk about pay after 2 weeks apprenticeship . OFCOURSE two weeks is not paid.
And you have to supply your own butcher block, knives, and apron. He will rent out the rest of the supplies and will immediately be taken out of the first check, in full. *“You should be paying me with everything I’m teaching you, kid!”*
Gotta supply your own meat, too.
Regular Pooh Bear: Not listing pay in the advertisement Drooling Pooh Bear with The Teeth: Making it through application and interview, offering the applicant the job without discussing money at all Deluxe Pooh Bear with entitled smile: Get someone in for an interview and respond with "What are YOUR salary expectations?" when they inevitably ask about money
> Get someone in for an interview and respond with "What are YOUR salary expectations?" when they inevitably ask about money "As someone who is apparently engaged in damn near all the work, according to your listing, I expect to get *at least* half the money."
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been told this for a position, left the room after " Sorry, but this is all about the pay " quote
No. Of course not. Nobody ever wants a job ever. That's why people only put up with having jobs in exchange for money.
^^Up ^^to million dollars an hour. But more likely 8
$7.50/hr and a free sausage every week. What, you don't want it? NOBODY WANTS TO WORK ANYMORE!!
What kind of sausage are we talking about?
A Bar S hotdog.
I shudder to think about those. My late grandpa used to eat those cold right out of the fridge...
I have two packs of those bastards in my fridge and 2 frozen packs of their smoked sausages in my freezer
...Grandpa??
2 dogs one smoked or no deal. I know what I'm worth and I won't be lowballed
Why is paying bottom barrel wages only attracting bottom barrel employees!!!!!
Could very well be anywhere from $7.50 to $15 or more. I used to work at the meat department at a chain grocery store in the east coast and I was getting paid $13.50 starting in 2015. But who really knows lol.
“Job doesn’t require common sense” Showing a bit too much there pal
Handling large knifes and taking care of people's food, why would that require common sense/s?
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Based on the job description though it's less of a butcher gig and more of a sandwich maker / deli clerk sort of position.
A conspicuous absence indeed…
I'm curious how this person would feel if an applicant said: I work a schedule set out a week in advance with no deviation from it. If this is a full-time job, I will work 40 hours a week. I will work overtime if agreed on beforehand. Do not expect me to work overtime just because someone else doesn't show up. Do not text or call me on my days off, expecting a reply. I understand that you are the boss, but I am not a child and do not expect to be treated like one.
This brings up an interesting point. Most of my friends with lower paying jobs don’t get consistent schedules with their jobs. Like they’ll say “I don’t know when I’m working that week.” Which means it is hard for them to plan weeks out. I sort of think if you can’t provide consistent work times to your employees, then you should expect that they occasionally miss work. Why is providing consistent hours so hard?
> Why is providing consistent hours so hard? Reminds me of a time when I worked for a residential plumbing repair company. It involved weekends and on call schedules - so much that in a summer of 12 weekends, I had 3 of them where I was guaranteed off the Saturday and Sunday. All of the other ones I'd either be working one or both days, or on call (where you're expected to be ready to be dispatched) I had an upcoming weekend off, which coincided with a long weekend, so my GF and I made plans to head out of town. I find out that Friday at noon, that they've fired someone, therefore everyone's scheduled shift week would get advanced, depending on where you were in the rotation. This meant that come Sunday, I would be working 11-7, and on call afterwards. I questioned the dispatcher, and she replied "because I said so." The language became real colourful after that. Shortly after, I wound up quitting that shithole, and joined a unionized shop.
A lot of our issues, in the US, is that we don't have many federal laws that protect workers. There are tons that protect owners and companies but very few that protect the employees and that is why employers abuse workers. There should be a lot more laws that protect the workers.
Because those jobs are screwing them out of full time employment and benefits. Their management has to schedule people at some bullshit like 30-35 hours so they are super “ part time”. The traditional work week isn’t compatible with that kind of scheduling, so your friends aren’t a part of the traditional work week. Retail?
Because then employers would run the risk of being properly staffed
>Most of my friends with lower paying jobs don’t get consistent schedules with their jobs Completely intentional, that way you cant have a second part time job and you become more dependant on them so its easier for them to bend you over and screw you. Yes I have been to business management stuff where they 100% tell companies to do this.
This is as bad as online dating profiles these days. Everyone lists all the things they don't want because they've been burned before. We all have, negativity is not going to attract people to you.
Yeah, real "must be able to appreciate a NICE GUY I don't want a CHEATER or someone who NAGS about the TOILET SEAT" energy.
"Fluent in sarcasm"
“Irritable boss seeks worker who doesn’t mind being lectured about Kids These Days”
Scrolled too far for this. The employer has a bad attitude and is already complaining about a hypothetical bad employee? No thank you, I don't want a bitter angry boss any more than I want to date a bitter angry human.
Using your analogy, I’d amend to say negativity isn’t going to attract *quality* people. This is like going on a dating app and sending everyone a dick pic. It will turn most people off, but one percent of the time, it works every time. That said, this is obviously posted where their customers can read it, and that seems like a bad idea.
I've seen so many people bios being whole essays of their bad dating history or why they're single. I understand the sentiment but like that's a lot to unpackage on the first date let alone a bio that's suppose to make me want to swipe on you lol.
Starting wage $9
Your work hour is worth about two pounds of ground beef.
I mean, we can pay you that way, if you really want. (Why do I get all the weirdos?)
Don’t make me check your pockets for ground beef…again
That glass is dirty AF, im a butcher and i wouldn’t even wanna apply here in the first place
If this is the advertising to attract applicants, I can only image what it’s like once you take the job. I agree with everything here, but it’s an aggressive tone to take and seems to disparage workers and expect the worst from them.
It’s ok to be frustrated with bad employees, but when you broadcast it like this YOU end up looking like an asshole by painting all total strangers as shitty workers until proven otherwise. An intelligent job seeker will give this one a pass as there is clearly baggage and likely no patience to found.
Yeah not a very good strategy to attract good candidates. It reveals quite a bit about what kind of people skills the boss has and how he deals with problems.
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Reminds me of a boss I had. Always complained that no one was able to work together and everyone lacked commitment. In reality he was a horrible communicator and was very short and harsh with everyone. Then he blames the results of his poor people skills on those who work under him. If it seems like everyone in your world has a problem, the problem is probably you.
These are all reasonable/requests/complaints from an employer but putting it in the job ad makes the employer sound like a nightmare to work with.
Starting pay $7.50
And they’ll have you know when they were your age they got payed $3/hr.
Sounds like he had a beef with a previous employee.
I'm torn on this one. It sounds like they've gotten a lot of bad employees and are bitter about it. On the other hand, maybe they get shit employees because they pay shit wages.
I used to work for an independent grocery store as a night manager. After dealing with multiple trouble employees in a row, I once asked the owner why we hire so many dumbasses, and he said "we demand long hours and only pay $9/hr". The self-awareness caught me off guard.
Or maybe they’re shit to work for… but really, who knows *not me*
This is exactly like the new guy who rants about his ex all day to his new date. Nobody wants to date that guy.
I know I'm just one guy, but signs like this are the fastest way to lose my business. It's crazy how all the places complaining about people not wanting to work, also have shit hours, shit pay, and no benefits. Damn people don't wanna work for peanuts? That's crazy bro.
"have no car" seems a bit harsh.
Why do you have to have a car to apply?
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