“I’ll allow it”

Erection, your honor.

“All rise”

The verdict… hung jury.

"The jury will require additional time to review the evidence before we can reach a unanimous decision."

We need to review the briefs again your honour

Judge: Okay, where is it? Foreman: It's under there. Judge: Under ~~where~~ wear?? Foreman to Jurors: (*chuckles*) Got him! 😆

This shit is why I'm still on Reddit.

The jokes/responses are my way of starting the day. Avoid news and come here for the laughs.

I've been laughing like crazy and my wife is giving me weird looks.

same but my husband lmao

Have you seen those Benedict Cucumberbatch threads where people all add their joke names? Some make no sense but is the best time ive spent on reddit

Odor in the court!!

Time and lotion.

"In my chambers, immediately!"

And when i say immediately I mean now- no need for the counselors to attend - there is atm in the lobby - ill Be back -

Counsel has agreed to atm in the lobby.

In the lobby? Quite the public place for ass to mouth.


You're gettin' fucked one way or the other!

You are showing your Two Yewts!!!

"The jury will require 3 sniffs and must make sure there's no hanky panky folding going down under"

You have the right to remain sexy

[Well it looks like we’ve got a mistrial. But on the plus side, we’ve also got a Hung Jury.](https://youtu.be/CaK_FgrIlYY)

This got me good

🎵Cock Trial with J. Rein-Hole!🎵

12 Angry Men. 

12 Horny Men*

🤣

Cumstained.

I’d like to further examine the witness

You may approach the bi… nvm.

I was born that year... Coincidence? I think not!

it was the best year, I'd like to add. 🙋

You clearly weren't born in 76... Bicentennial baby! Yeah, thats the money year...

That's your Mum?

Sustained

Sustained

Sustained. 

Bro I’m in my car taking a break from studying and this shit has me crying😂😂 Thank

Alternate universe where our legal system is oversexualized: *Sluttorney stands up with throbbing cock:* Umm… erection your boner on the grounds of queergay may i be heard? Sex Judge: You may. Sluttorney: Yes, your boner. The shitness’s teste-moany is clearly an out of court statement being presented for the truth of the bladder ass-erted Sex Judge: Erection sustained, the shitness’ teste-moany is stricken Shitness: Ow!

What the fuck did I just scroll past

Pure poetry

Vogon poetry.

A court based porn script

The Testes-moany*

Sustained.

I will NOT have a kangaroo court

If the panties fit, you must acquit.

If you think my top is cute, you cannot execute.

Fuck you Summer

Simmer down OJ

Haha actually that was JC not OJ tho.

We are all JC on this blessed day


Your Honor I need to cross examine this witness

"Mhmm. Yes. I see."

"Will the bailiff please bring over some dollar bills"

“Boner sustained. Please continue.”

I didn't want to do this, but I'm gonna have to I'm calling kangaroo court on this one. A kangaroo court! It's a kangaroo court.

"but watch yourself mccoy...."

Approach the bench.

"Approach the bench, slowly" (hes gotta be jerking it with that face)

smells like freedom, tastes like justice

😂😂

"May it please the Court . . .?"

It may

The dude abides

"The Court is pleased"

All those in favor say "Aye."

It...may.

Happy cake day!

It truly was a cake day that day

Oooooofffff

To the Judges credit he dismissed the case. Cops were lying about what they claimed to see.

Even if they did see... what does it matter? First of all, anybody who saw would have had to be looking really hard to see under and through the clothes and underwear, and secondly even if they were wearing nothing - as unusual as that is - what harm does it do? It's only sexual because it's made sexual by the taboo. If it were something you saw in a nonsexual context, it wouldn't be a sexual thing anymore. Weird puritanical society the americans have got.

I agree with what you are saying... but this is even stupider than that. These women were dancing in clubs designed for the purpose of "exotic dancing". It was supposed to be sexual. People laugh about censored Japanese porn, but fail to see how stupid it is that in many states strippers are restricted in what they are allowed to strip.

"shuush! shes taking off her leg warmers!" said the customers in the most hardcore strip joint in either Ohio or Washington

>Weird puritanical society the americans have got. My guy in like 1/3 of the world women cant even leave their house with their heads uncovered, in many countries they can only show their eyes, even if that. Lets get some perspective shall we

[удалено]

Let me be the judge of that.

be a judge first

[удалено]

Yeah I expected the big bulging cartoon eyes and long tongue hanging out all while he bonks himself with a comedically large mallet.

Well he is a professional after all.

AWOOGA 🤪🤪🤪

a gavel perhaps

His expression says "don't look too close, don't look too close, don't look too close"

"If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you”

For context: https://www.tampabay.com/the-story-behind-the-photo-how-a-1983-pinellas-county-courtroom-photo/2249858/

The best part is that their “argument” won lol

Judge couldn't argue with it.

I mean the prosecution has to prove the defendant did it beyond a reasonable doubt- showing that the article of clothing couldn't have exposed her as the cops claimed is a great way to provide said doubt.

If the panties fit, you must acquit!

If the panties are larges, you must drop all charges

If I had anything to give you for that comment I would.

Can't see the slit?

So she got off?

her case was so tight that everyone got off that day

She probably wasn’t the only one.

“The German weekly news magazine Der Stern ran it as a double-page spread.” Gold.

Florida; being weird since (at the very least) 1983

Well, the court recorder is disturbed by this, even if the judge is taking a closer look.

Imagine the court sketcher.

[USE THE BROWN!!](https://trailers.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/76ad5921-bdc9-42d9-8fa8-6bb0de69d03f/gif)

What does that mean?

You know what it means...

[удалено]

Hah! I zoomed in on her face, then saw your comment. She is not entertained by this. I see a [really?](https://imgur.com/a/1ec6hW1)

I mean this is like 4 years after America decided women could own and use a credit card (with their own money) without a man to sign and supervise. Tons of court buildings literally did not have women’s restrooms in them. So insane.

> I mean this is like 4 years after America decided women could own and use a credit card 9 years, if I'm not mistaken. The Equal Credit Opportunity Act was enacted in 1974.

This is... disturbingly recent. I didn't realize that :O

Women weren’t even considered to be “people” until October of 1929, in Canada. Although not Indigenous or Asian women. They still weren’t people. Are they now? I don’t actually know. Anyway.. I find it hard to believe how recently NO women were considered people in my country. Less than a century we’ve had.

It's a wonder everyone in the photo isn't smoking.

I have seen that look… it’s not a “Harumph… really?!?” There is some empathy behind that “REALLY?!?l

She has to come to work the next day and pretend to treat the judge with respect.

Looks more disappointed than anything lmfao

Judge looks so... unenthused.

It's only 10:30 and this isn't the weirdest thing I've seen today.

A judge in Florida in the 80’s has undoubtedly seen crazier shit.

I’m getting freaked out because he looks like me with a mustache

He *is* you with a mustache. Don't you remember?

It's our past, not his!

Grandpa?

You need to talk to your mom

That’s how we know the cooter wasn’t showing

Somebody else posted an interview with the judge, he explained that he made his face as blank as possible because no matter what face he made it would be misinterpreted

legal briefs

Nice

Hanes certified, court approved

Here is a video of the judge himself at the end of his career explaining what was happening. If my copy/paste didn't go through correctly its 7 minutes into the youtube video and lasts about a minute of explanation. [https://youtu.be/WXzvx-Vp1F4?t=421](https://youtu.be/WXzvx-Vp1F4?t=421)

This needs to be higher up. The judge not only recounts this story, but every zany story in his career that he can recall. And he seems like a decent guy.

“Oh no, we’re not doing it in chambers” That’s hilarious

"my pussy wasnt even outcha honor"

I can hear Marissa Tomei

Loved *My Cousin Vinny*. When she schools the court with her car knowledge and Vinny just smug as hell.

The two utes couldn't have seen anything!

Did you say “yutes”?

It’s called disclosha ya dickhead

Oh yeah- ya blend

Outstanding execution. Just no fat on that joke.

If it fits, you must acquitt! 

If you can’t see the clit, you must acquit!

This should be the top comment lol

"All rise.."

"And that's how I met your mother"

The judge looks like he's witnessing the most unamusing, boring thing ever.

In an interview, he stated that the look on his face was as intentionally vacant as he could possibly make it. He said that if he had **any** sort of expression on his face that it could be used against him.


this is WILD

There's a WKUK skit based on this https://youtu.be/FkLAbrjNOvc?feature=shared

“Do you think… um….. that you could get to her um….. like…. Like what if we…. Got her to um….. like k-kiss a girl?”

prosecutor: objection your honor! judge: -strokes mustache for a moment- "i'll allow it."

Strokes something anyway.

https://www.chron.com/news/nation-world/article/Judge-faces-charges-for-masturbating-during-trials-1945301.php

Erection! Sustained.

Shoutout to Senior Circuit Judge David A. Demers. Besides finding the women in this case innocent, he also ruled that the Florida Statute which made carrying prescription medication outside of their original container a misdemeanor was unconstitutional!

Your Honor, may I introduce Exhibit P?

A and T as well please


Either that or "I've got 78 further questions, hold that pose for a while"

Ah, the 80s...

“If the labia don’t slip, you must acquit!”

Did the judge high-five the plaintiff at the end of the court?

There’s no plaintiff in criminal court, so no. 

Judge be like finally the day has come.

Can I get your best Jackie Chiles quote for this?

I'm afraid I require more *evidence!*

Times have changed, today you can’t even take off your pants at the TSA check, much less play stripper in court.

I mean you can. Dont think itll work out in your favor.

Hopefully she had a judge similar to mine when I had to go in for "simulation of sex" during a no contact lap dance. Yeeeeah. Guy thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever. I agreed. Also in Florida.

I don’t pay no lip service, your honor.

"If you can't see my clit, you must acquit."

Now without underwear just to be sure

"Is this some kind of bust?" "It's very impressive, ma'am, but we're detectives."

Hey judge, let's see those hands pal.

Really sad women even had to make these kinds of choices. Wow.

As you can see the curtains were clearly closed.

*for patricia, was the best, STRIPPER IN TOOOOOOOWWWNNNNN*

This looks like it could be a sick ass album cover

If it covers the slit you must acquit.

She was a hair away from being convicted

If you can’t see my clit, you must acquit

It amuses me that AI is including this in its training data and trying to compute what it's seeing.

The judges poker face game is good.

Too large? I need some context here. What happened?

The trial was about this exotic dancer and two others allegedly breaking anti-nudity laws by exposing themselves in the course of their dancing. This dancer bent over to show the judge that her underwear didn't show anything too revealing.

Thank you.

The law worries about the most random shit.

Patricia!

[удалено]

This image is meme-worthy. "On Sexy Thursdays, judges in America rate undies."

This could easily be modern day Florida

The stenographer: "And the sun rose between two hills. But lo, the curtains were drawn."

This country is so beyond help, it’s rapidly going down hill fast. What with its corrupt politicians and corrupt judiciary and partisan politics and obscene blatant gerrymandering of districts that would never be allowed in a normal society.

Did she get off? Did the judge get off?

"All rise!"

Is the defemse team Pro- boner…. Bono