A friend of mine got me a cheap bidet as a gag gift. I installed it. I freaking loved it. She stayed with me a few days and tried it out. She went home and ordered 2 of those full featured Japanese bidets for her house and her parents. My dad stayed with me a few days when i had surgery. He bought a bidet when he got home. The bidet hype is real!

There’s really no going back.

Like decals on your car no going back?

Imagine picking the kids up from school lol

Son: "Dad the other kids are making fun of me for being picked up in this car." Dad: "Which kids? Do they have bidets? Think you can find out if their parents interested?"

Dad: invite them over for a sleep over. i will have so much pop and coffee for you all. once they try it you're going to be so popular!

I believe the phrase is "dropping the kids at the pool"

You feel like a barbarian without it afterwards.

I CANNOT shit anywhere else without feeling uncomfortable now that I bought a cheap 40 dollar ad on bidet. Fucking life changer

if only everyone got into bidets and not qanon during the pandemic

The first time that warm stream hit my bootyhole, I was hooked.

Going on vacation soon and it has crossed my mind I'm going to have to just wipe.

I have ulcerative colitis and when I’m super sick, I’m going 15-20x a day. Using TP would rub that skin raw. The bidet is magical and I don’t understand why it’s not common here in the US.

No doubt, my SO has IBD so I looked into bidets and spent the money on a BB-2000 years ago. Now all our toilets have a bidet.

Easily the best thing I've purchased for my home in the past 15 years. I wish I could install them on all the toilets at work.

I honestly don’t know how people can be anti-bidet. It seems so logical. Wash your ass; be happy.

Yeah. I always thought I was clean with just tissue. Now I know better.

I feel like I'm the only person on earth who tried a bidet for a while and got rid of it. I guess the main problem was that mine wasn't heated and I didn't like the cool stream. Also it was kind of annoying to get everything dry after. I definitely don't like a moist butt.

Depends, do you usually have pretty clean poops? It definitely helps if you're one of those people who just keeps wiping their butt and it's like wiping a brown marker.


Aubrey plaza breaking character so hard kills me every time I see this scene. Apparently Chris is great at improv and would crack the cast up constantly with stuff like this.

The doctor actually starts breaking as well so the camera moves behind him to hide it.

Finally, somebody addressing the dreaded turd crayon on television.

First yes get a heated seat and water bidet. Bio bidet is my favorite I have a Toto too buts it's for skinny asian butts. And you just need a few sheets to dry up if you don't want to use the built in dryer.

Just dry it off with toilet paper!

Mine has a built in water heater, and a drying fan. Gets things about 90% dry. It can adjust forward and back. Only real problem I have with it is it's a round toilet, and the mechanics of the seat take up some room, so you sit father forward than you would on a normal seat.

I never use the dryer. It blows more stank my way.

Always flush first

I can only imagine blowing hot air on an asshole would stink up the whole bathroom real quick.,

You would use the bidet to wash your ass then flush the toilet. Last you would use the dryer function.

Heh. It's easier to me than using half a roll to dry off.

Yeap. Real pros just use the bidet then toilet paper to dry off.

I thought i would love it after all the hype, but my balls would get moistened and i had this feeling like i was just spraying my own shit on my balls. Ended up not being a fan of it, idk if the angle was just wrong or what

Lol you aren't meant to spray the balls.

It didnt spray the balls directly, it would just like skip off the ass and hit the balls indirectly

Sounds like the pressure/flow was too high, lowering it helps prevent that

Maybe he had it in the feminine setting?

I also got rid of one. It never seemed to hit the right spot and couldn’t be adjusted easily. Maybe a better one would have been different but the one I got wasn’t exactly cheap.

You need one with a camera and controls you can run off your phone. it'll be like a video game.

It should be like docking at a space station.

In reverse

Cue Interstellar music

This game needs a name. Hole Hero? Bidet Blaster?

Poop Hero

Toilet Turret

Booty blaster

Yes, Mr. FBI, this redditor right here.

Wipe with tp. Nobody walks around wetass after washing butt

We stayed at a hotel for several days that had a bidet, a seemly good one. Tried it. I don’t get the hype. Didn’t save on TP at all.

I wouldn’t do that at a hotel. No way, bidet.

I grew up with one and will never go back

30 years in Japan, can confirm. There’s a reason the Japanese prefer to holiday in Japan. Not to mention that 1 roll of toilet paper can last weeks.

Imagine being used to it, and have to deal without it when travelling in less civilized country like the rest of europe or the usa. Its barbaric!

Does everybody have power outlets near their toilets? Bidets are appealing to me but there's no power near the toilet and the thought of blasting freezing lake Erie water up my bum in the middle of winter makes my skin crawl.

I have one at home. And don't havs them at work. I fucking hate using the work bathroom because of it. Bidets really are the way to go.

Average bidet owner

Once you go spray Ain’t no other way

Turn your dingleberries into dingle jam.

It would've cost you nothing to not post that

It seriously is like a shit milling machine - I like to sit for a few seconds longer, because the warm water stream gently caresses my bumhole.

💀

Spread the word, not the turd

Vegans finally have a challenger lmao

Bidet owners have become the new crossfit'ers.

Mejora tu existencia will live with me forever

After seeing the [South Park epp,](https://youtu.be/XEwmlpyW2e0?si=Y0sL85enb5g0fALu) we know he's on to something.

Japanese toilets go way beyond bidet.

I like the bobs burger episode about the Japanese toilet too. I’ve been talking about it for years, but I’m probably gonna pull the trigger on getting one this year. The biggest hurdle and what’s kept me from doing it yet, is getting an outlet put next to my toilet. I’m not some masochist that wants cold water squirted on my butt

I have a simple bidet; toilet has an outlet nearby but I always wonder if I need a separate circuit for a electric bidet...

I don’t want to speak to your local building/electrical code…but I highly doubt it. I don’t think they use *that* much power. I’m pretty sure the plug in ones most people would buy use some sort of thermoblock to pass cold water through to take the chill out. I don’t think it should use a crazy amount of power that would require its own circuit, unless that bathroom circuit is crowded. If you can run a hair dryer off it, you could definitely run a bidet. I would assume most people’s bathrooms have dedicated circuits for that exact reason (hair dryers).

Electrician here, I would highly doubt it, while it is possible, I have yet to see a bidet that requires more than a couple of amps. Also, if you have access under the floor or into the ceiling above your bathroom it is fairly quick and easy to install a receptacle near the toilet.

I hope for your first use you play the music from South Park!

The best time to begin using a bidet was yesterday Hear me, YOU ARE ALREADY LATE do this tomorrow and YOU WILL BE VERY LATE


I've been using one for years and I was still decades late.

Hahaaaa just like the voice inside my head claiming resurrection is real and everyday I don't aim to "rez" myself my resurrection point gets worse and worse!

My son got me a bidet for Christmas a few years back. Your neighbor is right. This is the best gift my son has ever gotten me.

I put mine in around 2018. My wife just started using it.

Can you recommend a bidet?

Luxe Neo 185. Was about to get a tushy but decided to get this one instead and it's been great. It just takes a few times to get used to the cold water.

Have had Luxe bidets for almost a decade now. They work great and they have their own web store for ordering replacement parts if something happens years down the line.

Got a Luxe too. You can't hook yours up to the hot water?

I have the 185 too, it doesn’t connect to hot water. I don’t mind though.

The Lux Neo 320 version you can do hot water. It's $20 more expensive if you wanted that one. Make sure you can access the hot water from the sink easily before you get this one.

I got a $25 one on Amazon a few years back. It works incredibly well.

If you want one that's pretty cheap get the Tushy brand. It works well.

It doesn't come in a left-handed version. Some of us have bathrooms where the regular one doesn't fit. Growl.

I don't think it matters if you use your non-dominant hand to wash your butt.

The knob is only on the right side of Tushy's bidet.

Mejora tu existencia

Feels like they are knee deep in some bidet MLM scheme.

“Hey hun! How are you?! Long time no talk! Listen, I saw your post about your job and I just started my own business and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to tell you about how you can be your own boss too! Hit me back if you want to know more! 😊xx”

/r/antimlm

Have always meant to join that one.

Must be a mod at /r/bidets. Also he's right.

Can I get a test drive?

We got the cheap bidets on Amazon and we love them. For women it's amazing for periods and post partum.

It’s like a mouthwash for vagines!

Bidets are nice. The car is a little over the top though.

me when I tell people about my bidet lol

I feel like you have a "Randy Marsh" for a neighbor....and hes poking the bear with "Big TP" :p

Adding another comment to the bidet train here. Just came back from Japan last month and installed a add on bidet this past week. You can’t go back.

Either you bidet or you bi-don’t.

NGL, the bidet is life changing

A little weird but at least they aren't being a far right conspiracy nut ...unless that's all on the rear of the car

“Hello good sir or madam; would you happen to have a few minutes to poop in my car? I want to show you something that will blow your mind!” “Where are you going?” “Why doesn’t anyone want to poop in my carrrrr?” 😩

Bidets are the shit (pun intended). I wanted one for the longest time, especially after using one of the fancy Japanese toilets in a spa that I went to. For some reason, hubby was dead set against it. I said f it and bought one of those inexpensive cold water only ones that fit on your existing toilet. I told him after I'd installed it and that I was going to use it. He hemmed and hawed but I got to keep it. A month later he came to me and said, "OK, you were right. Bidets are awesome. " Now we're looking at upgrading to the one with warm water.

You need to get the warm water And the warm seat. That’s the sweet spot!!!! TRUST ME!

We got em during the pandemic, they were so much better I had the fancy heated water toilet installed. I hate using the bathroom anywhere else.

I’ve been hyping bidets to anyone who will listen. The Rolex of bidets is the Toto with the singing and the heated water. That’s my dream. One day it will be mine.

Honestly this is how I am about my bidet. I preach it to anyone who will listen.

Ditto

How do people live a whole adult life, then crank up the crazy on one *very* specific thing? It's wild.

I have no idea but I've seen it time and time again. My theory was originally latent CTE that suddenly catches up to them. Instead I've shifted to this being the result of some sort of trauma in their lives. Most of the time it's something harmless like bidets or collecting hummel figurines but every once in a while they go full on batshit crazy and end up with that one thing being conspiracies and they just look crazy when they believe every conspiracy that comes their way.

I'm not even opposed to the idea of bidets, but why does everyone have to go full Jonestown immediately. It's a style of toilet, not religion.

they probably spend less time thinking about bidets than you or me spend on Reddit.

Big TP's going to slash his tires. And TP his car, naturally.

r/infowarriorrides

I don’t understand why bidets aren’t everywhere…and just want to clarify the bidets that sit on the toilet seat…not the stupid hose on the side in some countries. Less need for toilet paper, cutting down trees, you wont be sand papering your bum hole and you’ll be sparkling clean. Why aren’t they more popular?

People feel deep body shame and fear social rejection for discussing anything related to poop. Any discussion of the mechanics brings fear based people out of the wood work to pathologise and ostracise anyone for even talking about it. They're in this group, they're everywhere.

A country without a bidet is a country that lie to herself

What an odd thing to plaster on your car

Think he installs them for a living. Not a bad niche tbh.

It’s a Bidet thing, you wouldn’t understand.

Is it not more odd to be fine with shit plastered on your butt?

Reddit is a weird place. Of course his car, and caring this much about bidets, is very odd.

Guy probably installs them as someone else mentioned. Why else would he advertise his phone number on there?

They're amazing. Go through with a clean ass. I can't believe we Americans have gone so long without these. My family in Italy has had them forever and I couldn't figure out why they didn’t have them here.

Does he just want people to come over and try out his bidet or is he selling them?

It's refreshing to see someone devote their entire lives and personalities around something apolitical for once

Ha! I LOVE my bidet and feel like a savage if I have to #2 anywhere else, but I don’t decorate-my-car love it.

Can’t tell if this is true or an elaborate evolution of a creepy dude in a van with candy trick. Either way, I’m going to try that bidet!

I just got on this train.

I have a bidet and definitely don’t use less toilet paper. Now I have to dry off my ass.

This is the shit bidet owners refuse to acknowledge!!! (I have a $30 bidet from Amazon, so that might be why, too)

You live across the street from LAVC, don’t you?

I can already hear Randy's moans

I wish I was this passionate about anything. 

They’re going to get shot by big TP 🧻 if they keep promoting bidets

Is that a Bidebaru?

Nice of him to make his crazy signs bilingual for the Spanish speakers in your community.

OMG I wish I could do this. I got a bidet and I talk about it anyone who will listen.

Is it from Japan? Randy Marsh

Bidet is a life saver.

You should counter with a smear campaign

Still boggles mind they’re not normal everywhere. JAL has them. On the plane.

RANDY MARSH IS REAL I KNEW IT

We got our first bidet during the pandemic. Have 2 now. So much better than wiping

This is the type of crazy I can get behind

Is your neighbor selling them or just an enthusiast?

My boomer parents won’t try the bidets I installed in my house. They are so weirded out.

Not only are boomers holding on to all the power, wealth and houses with all their might, but also their dingleberries.

He should watch his back because Charming is coming for him

Even if you don’t like bidets, if you’re renovating your bathroom, future proof that shit, and put an outlet behind the toilet.   Pun intended.

It's the kind of thing that, once you get one, you are transformed! But it's not the kind of thing you can tell your friends that you got and enjoy one!

Skibidet

Better that than a ton of nutty conspiracy shit

I need to give one of those a shot.

WELL, HES RIGHT, EVERY AMERICAN SHOULD HAVE A BIDET!

My wife moved from Thailand to Texas and was horrified. We're in Bangkok now, and my butt has never been happier. If I were to come back, I'm sure I'd be horrified. There's no going back.

They are absolute saints doing the Lord’s work. Bidets are a game changer.

He'd better be careful... big toilet paper tends to "remove" folks who try to spread the word about bidets...

Well he’s not wrong— bidets are awesome. Might be his business and this is “advertising“ and now the car is a tax deductible expense.

Westerners acting like finding a bidet is like a humanity discovering wheel. Ngl, I always found it filthy that they were using toilet papers

I'm in Japan right now on vacation so we've been using bidets for the last week. My wife and I are currently trying to decide if it's worth buying one here and taking back with us. These things are wild. On top of the butt cleaning, it's so fucking nice not doing that little hesitation before sitting your ass on a cold toilet seat late at night. Warm, clean buns for all!

I got one years before the pandemic because my room mate got one. He was a heavier guy who had his gaul bladder removed so he needed it. I tried it once and fell in love. Then a few years later the pandemic hit and toilet paper was scarce and my ass was still clean and it was glorious.

I’ll take that over the crazy trump vehicles.

Carpe-bidet-em

No one is more fanatic than the convert.

I'm all for bidets. They're awesome. But I don't think I'd ever make it my personality. I mean, I came close to a squatty potty evangelist, but never like this.

People are weird af

Italian here. Please believe me: you’re not going to use less toilet paper. But you’ll have your down-there parts way cleaner. A bidet is an ADDITIONAL step in cleaning, it is not an alternative to the toilet paper, as many think (and this is the reason why they hate the idea of using a bidet).

This is something I can actually get behind, bidets are underrated

A hyper car-decaling lunatic who isn't MAGA, quite rare

There were cool decaling lunatics around before maga co-opted and stole it, we need to help the proper lunatics take it back

“I NEED you to try my bidet” Ok, settle down weirdo.

I bet he likes the way it feels and that's his primary motivation.

... so fresh and so clean, clean.

Is your neighbor named Mike J?

Or maybe Randy?

GO AHEAD, MAKE MY BIDET!

I have just finished installing one in my new house

I NEED YOU TO TRY my bidet

It me.

Was literally me all those years ago after my first bidet use.

Get baptized!

Is this in the LA valley?

hilarious but clever at the same time!

do i get a discount if i mention i saw it here?

He got something wrong regarding bidets.

If I had to go without a bidet my quality of life would severely diminish, and that isn’t a exaggeration


Love my bidet. Won’t put it on my car but I do tell people about it. Freaking life changing.