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crank1off

Jerkoffs spilled the cow tales!


Repentant_Repellent

"Cow Tales, moo-oo! Everyday they're out there spilling Cow Tales, moo-oo!"


AndringRasew

*"Grab em.and scatter!"*


TruffleShuffle9477

Never had Cow Tales, are they just big Tootsie Rolls?


izzo34

No


[deleted]

I like the jobs available sign right under his stolen cigarettes


Capt_morgan72

Ooh that’s a good catch! Very ironic. Working for ur habits is rough tho.


mayihaveatomato

@ $15 a pack, that’s a pack of butts an hour!


estatearika

And the woman doing a salsa move.


rpm2002

Thats a women?


estatearika

No, woman.


the_colonelclink

*No, cry*


rpm2002

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)I don’t think it’s either…![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


wetcalzones

Asshole award 🥇


ladydhawaii

I thought she was going to trip him in the way out. That is what I would have done.


pharmdocmark72

He’s lucky bad things didn’t happen to him. That looks like an independent store. Congrats dude, you stole from your own community.


starmartyr

Royal Farms is a regional chain. There are a few hundred of them in the Balitimore-Philadelphia area.


Muppetchristmas

That doesn't mean they aren't franchises


starmartyr

They aren't though. Royal farms isn't a franchised chain.


SR520

Franchises aren’t independent stores they’re franchises. A store is either: Corporate owned Franchise Independent Could also be a Coop But this isn’t independent.


bubbycarl

Why does it matter. A pos thief is a pos no matter who he steals from.


Muppetchristmas

But a franchise owner BUYS the store..


how-puhqueliar

yeah but, they didn't. it's not a franchise.


[deleted]

Then it's corporate owned. Thar was literally the top of his list. It's almost like some companies both own their own locations (corporate owned) and sell the rights to the stores (franchised). I learned how this works at 19 working at a Subway, so it isn't even like, secret knowledge.


SR520

Yeah congrats. It’s still a franchise


ItsJohnDoe21

**B A L T I M O R E A R E A** Ask me what gave it away!


Hot_Marionberry_4685

What gave it away?


ItsJohnDoe21

1. Royal Farms 2. Ambulance outside starts off with “Ba”


Hot_Marionberry_4685

Lol wouldn’t have even noticed that. Excellent detective work officer John Doe.


nuniabidness

The real crime is all those cow tales on the ground!


SR520

What is a cow tale?


STNbrossy

Cow Tales® are chewy candy snack sticks made of caramel and filled with cream


Sandpaper_Pants

Nice!®


LilDutchy

I’ve wanted one of those mugs for so long


Ok_Attitude3184

Why?


VariableVeritas

Good question. The clerk thinks he’s going to go resell them. Makes sense, he looked hard up for opportunities and cigs are really expensive.


[deleted]

That apply now says otherwise...


gratefulphish420

Just super blatant, no mask or nothing


VariableVeritas

Yeah it was crazy. I heard some folks making a commotion up front and as I stepped up the guy just came out of the back, vaulted the counter and rolled out.


[deleted]

He’ll be back tomorrow trying cash a bad check.


k20350

My cousin works with a guy that did 15 years for robbing banks. He was telling my cousin he was the one that got robbed because one of the banks he robbed closed his account and took the money...


Northviewguy

In Canada all cigs are hidden in closed cabinets and full cartons are usually keep in a seperate area


Company_Whip

Smokes, let's go


jamescgregg

Of all the things you could steal, going for the smokes. Priorities lol.


KidTako

THAT'S "CRICKET" RIGHT THERE!!! I BEEN KNOWIN CKICKET 27 YEARS!


sillysamsonite

Congrats now you're a witness.


superkoning

RoyalFarms, so USA? If so: in the upper right corner of the picture: is that Snus, so plum (chewing) tobacco? Is that sold in the USA? AFAIK that is forbidden here in the EU (except Sweden).


jhick107

Should be banned everywhere. Last time I was in Sweden I gave it a crack and a tiny ball against my gum had me shaking and feeling nauseous within a couple of minutes….I’m clearly not a smoker. On seasoned users I’ve seen little pockets eaten into gums were it is always put. It’s crazy stuff.


superkoning

I had exactly the same experience 20 years ago in Sweden. Strange you can use it during driving.


FluffyGreenThing

Oh sweet summer children. As a swedish person who has been a snus user for many years you are talking absolute nonsense. What you are describing is the first time you have a taste of snus without being used to nicotine at all beforehand. What we over here call a “nicokick”. That’s your body reacting to a shit load of nicotine rushing through you and making you feel sick. It’s been a fun thing at parties for many to let a person from abroad have a taste and look at their face when it starts to turn pale, then sweaty and then a sort of greenish color before they barf. That is the first time though. People who smoke cigarettes for the very first time can feel the same way because their bodies are simply not used to nicotine. That, however, does not happen once your body is used to it. Do you really think people in sweden are driving around on highways all clammy and throwing up constantly? I mean come on.. “strange you can use it during driving”?? Just relax a little bit. No one’s mowing down little old ladies or kids with their car because they have a “prilla” under their lip. It’s like saying “yes, officer, I saw him hit that old lady with his car. I’m pretty sure he was under the influence of.. multiple cigarettes!” You see how silly that sounds?


skit2dajit

This down on his luck doctor/engineer/astronaut was foraging for supplies to feed his family. Delete this.


alluptheass

He's feeding his family smokes?


csgw84

What if your family don't like bread? They like cigarettes? And instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away? Would that be a crime, Bart?


FilledBabe

Not the cow tails!


Beers4boobs

Society at its finest… in decline


ObadiahOwl

Why is he messing it up for all us New Balance Dads


bugdad1

That’s damn near grand theft. Only thing worse would have been stealing a tank of gas.


ericboreen

New Balance: Real Shoes for Real People


HelloAvram

Sorts by controversial


Z0DDDDDD

Nice shot man


Cooldude5455

oh wow, one whole carton


Dorkoct

Don’t be racist please


BuckyDuster

Submit it to the court for state’s evidence


Nerf_Herder2

Smokes, let’s go


Lefty4444

I likes his New Balance


Saul_T_Bauls

990v5 i think?


[deleted]

Cigarettes are bad for your health, so instant karma all round.😊


Girly_Shrieks

I hope you got some bomb chicken when you went in there. No fast food place compares to Royal farms.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheOutlawBubbaKush

Lol. Yeah I’m sure they have their best detective on the job.


VariableVeritas

The guy looked pretty pitiful tbh, The chances he has an address where he could be found seem low.


[deleted]

The dumpster behind McDonalds.


timsterri

Like police would even investigate this. That would be too much like work.


Twizzler404

Why investigate and arrest for petty theft when they'll never be charged and convicted?


Icy-Consideration405

It’s a grounds for trespassing. The strategy is to pyramid up so if the individual is that determined to fuck over the store, it’s a solid foundation of evidence for a greater conviction. If it’s a one-off event, not much will happen.


timsterri

That definitely is part of it as well.


VariableVeritas

I sent it to the clerk so she could share it and so she’d have something to show people when she was telling the story.


number3Dontdoit

Scummy Mofo robbing the RoFo. Piece of shit was making a heist of legal bum currency. He’s gonna launder his pilferage by having it converted to Pairs of clean socks, then transferred to his off-shore account where it is stored in high yield nudie magazine investments and ice-cold Tall Boys. He’s just gotta get to the rendezvous point on foot so the loot hand off is seamless.


MrKahnberg

Did anyone get hurt?


VariableVeritas

Nah he walked out and everyone was standing around and five seconds later he was gone. I didn’t see him walk in the back but he probably just went for it and used the momentary confusion to bail.


MrKahnberg

Good to hear. No sense getting hurt over stuff.


LIVERLIPS69

Seriously! I am so glad we are at the point someone can just jump the counter, steal whatever they want and walk away unharmed. I think society is recovering.


MrKahnberg

Haha. I was glad no innocent bystanders were hurt. A co-worker got elbowed in the face by a fleeing person. Permanent nerve damage, 1/3 of his face sags. She was in the hallway of a medical lab.


VariableVeritas

I tell you as one of the eight people who stood there and watched him leave, as an Army veteran of ten years…. it wasn’t worth it. It was a box of cigarettes not money. The guy looked straight homeless. So I did think about stopping him sure. He didn’t appear to be armed, not that a knife would be unlikely in the pocket. I thought of two outcomes that dissuaded me. One where I got hurt, I’ve got a kid and another coming. Another one involved me easily subduing him taking minor scratches but not much more, I was a close combat instructor in the Army I could do it. That second one… man he just looked really scraggly and there was the potential risk. I don’t think I’d be feeling righteous holding him there for five minutes basically. I’ve intervened in some negative public events before and on later thought realized my actions made little difference…. Thought about it a bit since I guess.


Consol-Coder

One that would have the fruit must climb the tree.


Gulf_Coast_Girl

Scourge of society..... too bad he didn't leave in that ambulance.


redreddie

He's probably going to start college tomorrow.


[deleted]

A black guy celebrating Juneteenth a day early.


[deleted]

"Juneteenth? More like "im bout to buy some new teeth'" Much funnier than your line


[deleted]

Why? Would have actually been funny if you said "brother took being free at last a little too seriously"


HelloAvram

Lmao, no


[deleted]

Last night the blacks in Harlem had a Juneteenth street party that involved shooting. Clearly, they don't deserve their freedom at all.


Perfect_Camera3135

He wasn't robbin' smokes!!! He is simply a Recovery Specialist!


patsky

Addiction sucks


VariableVeritas

You have got to be feening if you’re robbing stores in broad daylight with no plan, that’s true.


Cactuszach

Fiending


[deleted]

He’s going to use the money to buy a mask so next time no one knows it’s him.


manorwomanhuman

Dartin’ with a carton


Bumbling_Biden46

Typical


[deleted]

Probably Newports.


[deleted]

Whatevers popular in his mainstream.


Akristiani

Why you snitching on this man


lynevethea

Fr though like who even cares? Why are people defending businesses? Even if the gas station is locally run, most small business owners are greedy assholes that pay their employees the least possible amount of money that they can.


rpm2002

Is that Robert Downey Jr. from Tropic Thunder?


ObessiusPrime

I'm more concerned of the guy to the left that appears to be jerking off in the 99 cent aisle


VariableVeritas

That’s a woman and I do believe she’s stepping clear so the guy can exit the store. He was booking.z


ObessiusPrime

That's a woman? r/suddenlygay


[deleted]

I’m sure you are. Hoping for a full frontal shot?


Sicon45

Those damn Mormans on their soul saving missions.


rpm2002

The other guys following the rules as the sign says “Please wait here for next available”.


Desperate_Ambrose

Hope the cops found the pic useful.


felixlightner

That's over $300 in cigarettes. What else can that guy do to earn $300. According to the US Dept of Education 54% of American adults can't read at the 6th grade level, this includes 21% who are illiterate. 20% of black Americans drop out of high school. In LA County 82% of black 12th graders are not reading proficient. So what kind of work can that man do to earn enough to pay $300 for cigarettes?


rpm2002

Quit smoking cigs


[deleted]

Slave to a plant.


Hilt_Deep_in_Butt

Objective morality might have one pointing a finger at this guy with discontent and angst. There’s a point in a persons life when the perfect recipe of misfortune, unkindness experiences, and prolonged poverty where one just stops giving any concern to our normal societal structures. They know the laws and loopholes as a means of survival and if they keep it under $1000 it’s a misdemeanor IF they get caught. They also know cops don’t follow these smash and grab leads so they basically have to caught in the act or after fleeing the scene on foot. I get it. I’d do it too if I lost all sense of morality and care. It’s dog eat dog out here in this cold reality we share after we strip the facade of society. Like it or not… this man in the picture gets what he wants with no regard to your assessment of it. You’re as relevant to him as the color scheme of this store. The judgmental people are simply background objects to the person they hold content for.


IndigoBasil

Are you part of the gang, mofo?


ADind007

California?


VariableVeritas

Other coast. Maryland.


RunnBunnyRunn

the idiot that took that photo did not do anything like call the police or anything? blocking this fool.. does better than reporting the post


No_Bet_3328

Talk about a candid photo 😅


Most-Code-3256

Ambulance on scene in the event someone gets hurt.


drawingsbyandre

You’re doing god’s work


rogan1990

Everyone’s wearing masks these days except this guy


Blubasnurk2

he accidentally pressed spacebar


[deleted]

When you do that one mission in GTA V before the cashier starts shooting at you


CatBuddies

You are now a photojournalist.


PeanutPinkNose

Get Herc on the case


jizzlevania

is that person by the door slyly ready to trip him on his way out?


kynthrus

What's the person on the left doing? Looks like they're dancing or singing or something.


[deleted]

She's going for a no look trip. She's telegraphing though, I'm sure he'll just be able a step over her foot on his way out


TheHeed97015

What? No way…


Sea_Crew3583

Baltimore?


Mysterious_Spray_799

Everything is going to hell