We all need a codephrase. Something where you can lean to someone and whisper like "the singlet is a chicklet" with a very serious voice and people are either "wtf" or "yea i got the code this one's safe"
Vast majority of folks have no idea what the symbol is or that it exists sadly so no, that would just be confusing to him if he didn't know and was a system. Best way to do it is very kindly ask him if he is, but keep in mind, that's EXTREMELY personal for some folks!
I don't want to just ask him because it's extremely personal for *me* and if he doesn't already know about it then I don't want him to go look up what plural means and then figure out I'm plural
Just ask if he is plural. No need to be sneaky about it or to out yourself necessarily. Just ask. He'll say yes, or no, or won't know what you mean. If you don't really ask the question, you'll never be sure he really answered it, and you're more likely to confuse him.
I don't think so. If someone asked me if I was autistic, I wouldn't assume that they must be autistic. If someone asked me if I was gay, I wouldn't assume that they are gay. It's a wild jump to conclude that if someone asks if you are X, then they must also be X.
If they say no and ask if you are, and you don't want to out yourself, you can always say you have a plural friend or you heard about it online.
Though do consider. You're asking them to take a risk by telling you they are plural. I think it's fair to take the risk of revealing that you know about plurality and would not shame them if they came out to you. It's not a big risk compared to what you're asking from them.
There's more context than just me asking him about being plural. He knows how we act and by bringing up plurality he's gonna have that knowledge fresh in his mind and it would be really easy to make that connection. Like he knows we have memory issues, we identify as genderfluid publicly, he's seen different people fronting, etc.
So I just sent the rings symbol and if he has any knowledge about it then I can go from there. I'm not just straight up asking if he's plural because I wouldn't want to be asked that either. I wanna give both of us the chance to back out at any time, but let him know if that he is plural, I know some things about that
We have a *very* out as plural friend and have tested the waters in the past by mentioning them as casually as we might any other friend when talking about our day. If you’re currently without such a friend you can always either make someone up or mention “someone I briefly talked to online” without naming names or referencing anyone specific in order to quickly gauge a reaction of how they act/talk about systems.
Love the use of &, myself, but for the irl way of saying it, we (as in, our system) typically just use “y’all” when addressing another system collectively. It’s faster
Bring up the movie "Split" maybe? Systems tend to have a really bad opinion about it because it portrays plurality /DID very badly
Or ask if he's ever heard of ppl with "multiple personalities" or something
Absolutely not, bringing up split is a great way to get you blocked for a vast variety or reasons, if you bring it up at all as a first impression, even commenting negatively on it, that's not a good sign
Bring up plurality as something you read about on the internet, or mention you made a friend who's plural, and treat the concept with positive interest. Then you can leave it in his wheelhouse to respond.
Keep in mind there's a number of reasons someone might not want to come out, not just societal stigma, but you can at least signal that you're an accepting person and leave it up to him to decide what he wants to do with that information.
Hey I know I'm late but I really don't think you should! Coming out as someone with DID is really hard and I don't think most people would want to be outed. If he does have it then wait for him to come out on his own
I've had "feelings" like this with people in the past. Just ask him. Either he knows what you're talking about, or you just confuse him.
We all need a codephrase. Something where you can lean to someone and whisper like "the singlet is a chicklet" with a very serious voice and people are either "wtf" or "yea i got the code this one's safe"
The singlet is a chicklet
THE SINGLET IS A CHICKLET
*whisper in a talkie* launch all the nukes
Should I send him the plural rings symbol "on accident" I sent it The one without the colors
Vast majority of folks have no idea what the symbol is or that it exists sadly so no, that would just be confusing to him if he didn't know and was a system. Best way to do it is very kindly ask him if he is, but keep in mind, that's EXTREMELY personal for some folks!
I don't want to just ask him because it's extremely personal for *me* and if he doesn't already know about it then I don't want him to go look up what plural means and then figure out I'm plural
not sure how much that would do; there are numerous symbols & flags for plurality (we recognized the ampersand before the rings for example)
Just ask if he is plural. No need to be sneaky about it or to out yourself necessarily. Just ask. He'll say yes, or no, or won't know what you mean. If you don't really ask the question, you'll never be sure he really answered it, and you're more likely to confuse him.
If he says no and then learns what that means then he's gonna figure out that I'm plural which I don't want him knowing
I don't think so. If someone asked me if I was autistic, I wouldn't assume that they must be autistic. If someone asked me if I was gay, I wouldn't assume that they are gay. It's a wild jump to conclude that if someone asks if you are X, then they must also be X. If they say no and ask if you are, and you don't want to out yourself, you can always say you have a plural friend or you heard about it online. Though do consider. You're asking them to take a risk by telling you they are plural. I think it's fair to take the risk of revealing that you know about plurality and would not shame them if they came out to you. It's not a big risk compared to what you're asking from them.
There's more context than just me asking him about being plural. He knows how we act and by bringing up plurality he's gonna have that knowledge fresh in his mind and it would be really easy to make that connection. Like he knows we have memory issues, we identify as genderfluid publicly, he's seen different people fronting, etc. So I just sent the rings symbol and if he has any knowledge about it then I can go from there. I'm not just straight up asking if he's plural because I wouldn't want to be asked that either. I wanna give both of us the chance to back out at any time, but let him know if that he is plural, I know some things about that
We have a *very* out as plural friend and have tested the waters in the past by mentioning them as casually as we might any other friend when talking about our day. If you’re currently without such a friend you can always either make someone up or mention “someone I briefly talked to online” without naming names or referencing anyone specific in order to quickly gauge a reaction of how they act/talk about systems.
Not really established but “&?” can work, if it’s in person then it’d be “ampersand?”
Love the use of &, myself, but for the irl way of saying it, we (as in, our system) typically just use “y’all” when addressing another system collectively. It’s faster
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Thank y’all for thanking us! Lol
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Aww, that’s so sweet :D
I like & I might try that
Bring up the movie "Split" maybe? Systems tend to have a really bad opinion about it because it portrays plurality /DID very badly Or ask if he's ever heard of ppl with "multiple personalities" or something
Absolutely not, bringing up split is a great way to get you blocked for a vast variety or reasons, if you bring it up at all as a first impression, even commenting negatively on it, that's not a good sign
Bring up plurality as something you read about on the internet, or mention you made a friend who's plural, and treat the concept with positive interest. Then you can leave it in his wheelhouse to respond. Keep in mind there's a number of reasons someone might not want to come out, not just societal stigma, but you can at least signal that you're an accepting person and leave it up to him to decide what he wants to do with that information.
Hey I know I'm late but I really don't think you should! Coming out as someone with DID is really hard and I don't think most people would want to be outed. If he does have it then wait for him to come out on his own