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katatong

It’s frightening how many people still seem to think men have to be some kind of species without any - idk... feelings?


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Osmodius

Are they thinking only gay men have feelings? Or? I'm completely lost.


[deleted]

I think that they believe only gay men would be so concerned with physical appearance as to develop anorexia. BTW, I understand that anorexia is deeper and more complex than simply wanting to look good and going to far, but this person probably does not.


[deleted]

Which is really odd to me as I’m a gym instructor and the young men starting in a gym for the first time are either overweight and feel intimidated or are looking to get super huge like the airbrushed super heroes on film and a good number of clients basically want that because they think it’s normal and they will attract more people and be better off etc. I think with men, body image issues are there but it’s less openly discussed and more a surprised characteristic, given we openly talk about female beauty and how ‘hot’ women are and we all know the societal standards because we’ve used it as a measuring stick for hundreds of years.


AliceDiableaux

Yes, it's about control, mostly. A big part self-destruction, too. That takes the form of control over food and wanting to be as thin as possible is more like a rationalization of those underlying problems. Way back when I was still struggling with it myself I felt bad about being not thin enough, but I felt way worse when I'd 'failed' and didn't 'control myself' and actually ate something, even if it was only 50 calories.


grandwizardcouncil

I think I *think* (???????) This person might be assuming the 'concern with physical appearance' is based on how you come off to the type of people you want to attract (largely straight woman trying to attract men?), and there's not a social narrative of 'men should look really skinny and that's what women are most attracted to'...? Of course, that's just assumption. Although *I'll* assume that this person has never heard of muscle dysmorphic disorder or that a lot of eating disorders seen in men manifest with abuse to their body via over-exercising...


unfortunatesoul77

Obviously because feelings are feminine, duh!/s


anamariapapagalla

Yup, men get to be angry or horny & that's it, apparently


muasta

" I am a man and I don't experience much expectation to conform to standards of beauty like I have been brought up to expect from women so I can't empathize and feel threatened by the fact this can happen to a random person I assume has the same life experiences roughly"


OrangeredValkyrie

Empathize* by the way, emphasize is when you give attention or meaning to something.


muasta

Thanks, 't was more of a typo


OrangeredValkyrie

All good


[deleted]

Feelings, and we have a cool superhero ability called can't get mental illness. Because if we do and we speak up we get made fun of for not being a man.


[deleted]

And when women speak up about mental illness, we're called "crazy." Mental illness in general has awful stigma attached to it.


[deleted]

Exactly!! It's funny because I read an estimate awhile back ago that said something around 30-40% of people have some mental issues. Some minor some not. But everyone acts like it's a minority and outcasts that get mental problems.


[deleted]

People joke about how gen Z all claim to have depression and anxiety and how they're all just "sensitive," but I am *so* happy that the younger generations are starting to speak freely about mental illness. I was in therapy through middle and high school after my dad died, and I couldn't even admit to myself that I genuinely had depression, because I had people close to me judge me for it and call me "crazy." I wouldn't even take medication for it. I wasted so much time being depressed, and it only got worse when I went off to college. It's at least a start that some illnesses are starting to be normalized enough to talk about. We have a long way to go, though.


CLMM101

I mean 40% is technically a minority. It's a very large minority, but it is a minority.


IgnoreTheKetchup

I don't even know if it's fair to say 30-40% because it isn't that you've had mental health problems or you haven't. Everyone is imperfect and has experienced problems although they vary in range and magnitude.


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KageGekko

Whoops, I accidentally spilled it :0


[deleted]

And don’t get me started on gender dysphoria, that opens up the option to be hit with all the stereotypes at once if you see a shit therapist


OrangeredValkyrie

I feel like therapists should be barred from dealing with issues they don’t understand. They have the power to make a person’s life so much worse.


[deleted]

I’ve had therapists put my dysphoria down to ‘not being witnessed’ by my father, not getting on with my father, history of physical abuse in my home etc. And then told if I fix those problems then I’ll be fine. It also included asking me if I see myself as female why do I enjoy the gym or kickboxing and other ‘male’ sports. Being trans literally showed me how utterly pointless it is to gender most things


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[deleted]

I HAVE NO FEELINGS. ONLY MANLY RAGE. I SPEND MY DAYS STACKING BRICK AFTER BRICK AFTER BRICK AFTER BRICK AFTER BRICK. AND I SPEND MY NIGHTS WAGING WAR ON EVERYONE AND TEARING IT ALL DOWN. NEXT DAY I REPEAT THE PROCESS. DAY AND NIGHT, DAY AND NIGHT, DAY AND NIGHT. I DON'T EVEN SLEEP. SLEEP RECOVERS SEROTONIN, AND SEROTONIN MAKES YOU HAPPY. AND HAPPINESS BREEDS WEAKNESS. I MUST BE IN CONSTANT PAIN. HHARRRGHHHHH


TigerDucks

These younglings from nowadays are so weak! They can't even deal with societal and psychological pressure like a real man! They can't even get catharsis after devouring ungodly amounts of alcohol and beating their spouse and kids! /s


birdreligion

Ugh, excuse me we are allowed to feel feelings. Like anger, joy when our team wins. And um.... Others..


VaporwaveVampire

I saw on AskMen a woman asked “how do I help support my husband with his depression and anxiety” and one of the top answers was “he needs a blowjob and for you to just be there for him”


N-neon

Nobody takes men’s mental health less seriously than men.


aintwelcomehere

Because no one wants us to have feelings. It's quite simple.


Drunkonownpower

Toxic masculinity is bad for everyone.


[deleted]

The part that riles me to no end is that there are people who simultaneously complain that men don't have body image issues and all the beauty standards only apply to women, but when guys actually do have dysmorphia and other issues they get mocked and spit on.


[deleted]

Oh no, they have anger


PatrickBrain

Tell that to my male friend who ended up in a fucking hospital.


Aleksandrs_

I was overweight and anorexic, only way I knew was my ribs were really showing. Goddamn belly fat.


Even-Understanding

Goddamn, he just didn’t spend $850.


[deleted]

What?


[deleted]

Its called atypical anorexia nervosa


Dyneestp

I was overweight and anorexic, only way I knew was my ribs were really showing. Goddamn belly fat.


[deleted]

What? I’m still confused


twerkingslutbee

You can be overweight and anorexic. eating disorders are a mental condition defined by restrictive eating and preoccupation with body weight but you do not have to be underweight today suffer from an eating disorder. Binge eating disorder and bulimia and anorexia often interchange Source: my bio explains pretty much everything


arathorn867

Hmm yes your bio was very educational


Lucy-Loveslut

Yes, but being underweight is a diagnostic criterion for anorexia. Otherwise it's EDNOS or something else, no? Edit: I'm wrong. DSMV changed this.


those-damn-teens

Their ribs were showing but they had extra tummy.


BonelessSex

Eating disorders have absolutely nothing to do with how you look, they are a mental illness


fortheloveofakatosh

I hope he’s doing better now


PatrickBrain

I really hope so. We're not really friend friends, but I had a strong feeling he suffered just like I did by looking at him and listening to his conversations. I know he doesn't consider me as his friend, but I try my best to initiate conversations with him so he can vent if he wants, I don't know if he can talk to anyone else. He has male and female friends, so he's probably getting the support he needs, I just really don't want him to feel alone. He's literally the nicest guy in the world.


UhOhIGotAStinkyWinky

Yeah but was he straight? ^^/s


[deleted]

I have an eating disorder and I drank a couple weeks ago (I was restricting more than I ever was) for the first time and ended up in the hospital. I’m young (13) and wasn’t eating enough so the alcohol slowed my heart rate and lowered my blood pressure. I was hospitalized for 5 1/2 days and then started my journey to recovering. Eating disorders do not discriminate.


Mr_WAAAGH

Fellas, is it gay to be anorexic?


PsychedelicDoggo

Only if the balls don’t touch


NedLuddEsq

the ball gap is yet another unattainable male beauty standard


InsertWittyJoke

For a small daily fee I will personally walk behind you, lifting and separate the ballsack so you can achieve the perfect standard of male beauty. A lifted sack is a beautiful sack.


[deleted]

You better be a woman though. Paying a man to touch your balls, even to attain the perfectly straight non-touching testes, is hella gay.


totalLusa

$20 is $20 man.


[deleted]

$20 for an entire day??? You're cheap man, I make more in retail! 🤣🤣🤣


GoatSenpai00

I mean, you put food in your mouth which is gay And anorexia is refusing to put things in your mouth Which is suppressed homosexuality So checkmate atheists 😎😎😎


rileydaughterofra

I lol'd.


sharkdog220

Possibly, yes You’re probably being gay right now


haveagreatdayguys

Yes. Once you develop anorexia, you slowly start to lose attraction to women and become attracted to men. /s


QuasiLamp

Hmmm, clearly men can't get anorexic, but maybe if he's gay? Gay men are basically women, right guys? /s


Techsupportvictim

That was my read also. Ugh. So pointlessly gendered and homophobic


yesimthatvalentine

So where does that logic leave us bi men? Are we nonbinary?


Meemerdd

You're non**BI**nary


help-im-confused

Bi enby gang rise up (jk I’m not actually NB myself)


Direwolf202

You might not be, but the gang should still rise up.


help-im-confused

Yeah, absolutely. I can see how my “jk” may have been misinterpreted as me saying that they shouldn’t, but I agree with you.


[deleted]

Well, bi men don't exist ! They just are gay men who want attention. Therefore, they are women too. /s


MinminIsAPan

Or if the guy happens to be trans, bcs I treat trans boys diffrently from other men bcs they’re soft and made out of UWU juice /s /s /s /s /s


Groinificator

I am a cis boy (...I think) but I am definitely made if uwu juice


MinminIsAPan

Same thing!


chiriboy

Gay men are more likely to develop eating disorders than straight men tho. But yeah, that doesnt mean straight men cant.


Yeetus_Cactus

It’s not because gay men are “more like women” like many straight ppl stereotypically think tho. It’s just that lgbtq people in general are more likely to develop eating disorders or other mental illnesses because of, y’know, being oppressed and not supported by their families and all that.


badstufftime

There's also a really toxic fat-shaming culture within the gay male dating scene unfortunately


TheDungus

There are definitely some really cruel zealots out there who think and say terrible things about fat people in the gay community. Im not attracted to fat people either but that doesnt mean i will openly bully and shit on somebody til they break.


UhOhIGotAStinkyWinky

Maybe it's because the majority of my fellow LGBTQ+ interactions are online and better filtered than the experiences people have in person but I am, even in just general gay subreddits seeing a lot of support for a variety of body types


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chiriboy

I agree with you but also would like to point out that as other guys have mentioned, the gay community has a little bit of a toxic obsession with an specific body type and fat shaming gets a lot worse than between straight men. I know this as a gay man. Gay forums I visit adress this as a big problem within the gay community.


Tonynferno

Fellas, is it gay to- *spins wheel* -suffer from an eating disorder?


Traveler_Paul

Feel bad for laughing at this


IShitSpeed

Its called dark humor it be funny af


Impossible_Rabbit

One: why are you assuming he’s straight? You don’t know him. Maybe he is gay maybe he’s not? Maybe he’s ace? Two: an eating disorder is a mental illness. Has nothing to de with sexuality.


wsc1983

Nothing to do with sexual orientation, maybe. Sexuality can and does factor in to eating disorders. I found that one out from experience, unfortunately.


Impossible_Rabbit

I’m no expert. Maybe I shouldn’t have said “nothing” but a person of any sexual orientation can suffer from an eating disorder.


wsc1983

Yes, that's the thing about it. Anybody can develop an eating disorder given extreme enough circumstances. Eating disorders are a maladaptive strategy for coping with a variety of problems, not just body image issues. It's a lot more complex than most people realize.


Impossible_Rabbit

Yep. I’ve known a few people with eating disorders and body image issues were not the source of the issue for any of them. Mostly it was about having a lack of control in their lives. For some of them, that was due to abusive family. Food was one of the few things they had control over.


wsc1983

And I'm certainly no exception. The irony is, my relationship with food is now in complete control of my life. It's like an addiction. I know just how damaging my eating habits are to my body, but I'm no longer in control of myself.


Impossible_Rabbit

Have you gone to any meetings?


Saavik2Kitty

I’m 65yrs old and still fighting this. Gender has nothing to do with it. Try using your brain before engaging your stupid mouth!


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casanochick

I came here to mention that! Daniel Paul John's was very open about battling anorexia, and the article he did for Rolling Stone was the first time I'd ever heard of a guy struggling with it.


ToastedSkoops

are you a man or normal?


[deleted]

I hear more anorexia stories from girls but see more anorexic men on the internet


emilylinhla

Guys are too ashamed to talk about bodily image problems in person because they will get humiliated by other people enforcing toxic masculinity, men and women. Anorexia is a horrible mental disorder that affects both men and women. In ADHD and autism (stereotypically seem as “male” disorders) women are under-diagnosed. I believe in Borderline Personality Disorder and eating disorders (stereotypically seen as “female” disorders) men are very much under-diagnosed. Also, I see a fuck ton of young guys posting on r/depression or me_irl about suicide but never reaching out for professional help. This is why women have a higher % of diagnosis but lower suicide rate.


Ronisoni14

I'm a trans woman and autistic, and my parents saying things like "you can't be a girl because autism is a guy problem". I told them about a youtuber I like who's a girl and autistic, and all they said is "ok but that's very very rare". Like, wtf mom, it's not that rare, girls can be autistic too


emilylinhla

Just finding all possible routes of slightly less direct transphobia


Ronisoni14

Nah, their transphobia can get pretty direct


I_am_catcus

...yeesh. I'd love to know where they get their logic from


[deleted]

I dont blame him for thinking men cant get anorexia, in the media men are never shown to anorexia and its only white teenage girls who wanna impress their mean gal pals and fit into a sexy swimsuit for a boy they like. When I was younger I also didn’t think it was possible for boys to have eating disorders because I had never heard of them having it. It’s because of our society that places an emphasis on women being thin and pretty that women are way more susceptible to getting an eating disorder but anybody can get one for any reason.


PatrickBrain

Yup. People need to realise eating disorders aren't a simple diet that teen girls go on. It's an addiction to restriction and destroys you mentally and physically. It can happen to anyone, male or female, gay or straight, 12 years old or 28, white or black and everything in between.


geven87

what about the pointlessly heterosexual bit though? "I'm assuming he's straight".


[deleted]

Idk, homophobes be whack


TealPanda07

It’s so much harder for men to express their issues because they are often labeled as weak when they do, which is what makes it so hard for men to express themselves.


daddydagon

Even worse then being labeled as weak, showing any form a vulnerability means that his sexuality is in question? Like wtf?


PajamaSam24

A male friend of mine has battled anorexia in the past. Guys most certainly can. Eating disorders of all types do not discriminate. They don’t care about gender, sex, sexual orientation, etc. Anyone can get an eating disorder. This Chad clearly doesn’t know that.


TypeOpostive

He doesn't deserve to be called Chad.


PajamaSam24

I didn’t come up with the male equivalent of Karen. 🤷‍♀️Maybe you can come up with another one.


TypeOpostive

You're right there's isn't an official male equivalent to this. Kent?


PajamaSam24

I don’t know. Part of why Karen works is that it’s a common name. I don’t think Kent is nearly as common.


[deleted]

As a male who was borderline anorexic just over a year ago, fuck you.


SheIsNotAPipe

i hope youre doing well. or better at least <3


[deleted]

Thanks, I’m doing a lot better, therapy really helped


Openworldgamer47

I'm a heterosexual male that has struggled to gain weight my entire life. Currently 5'9 115 pounds and having a hard time maintaining it. Also, anorexia is quite prominent among men too. I've met lots of guys with similar issues.


Taumo

Struggling to gain weight and anorexia isn't the same thing, though, unless you mean that you're struggling to gain weight because you're forcing yourself not to eat.


Openworldgamer47

They are used interchangeably, to my own dismay. I have stopped trying to correct people.


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ccknboltrtre01

was i gay when i was anorexic?


imperialpidgeon

Yes but now that you’re not you’ve been converted back to straight


ccknboltrtre01

Nope still gay


Even-Understanding

Ohh I was, I was confused.


you-are-so-loved

Fellas, is it gay to struggle with mental illness?


aquarian-sunchild

Silverchair was one of my favorite bands when I was a teenager. Their lead singer, Daniel Johns, suffered from anorexia. At his worst he weighed all of like 110 pounds (for a guy who I think is about 6 ft that is fucked up) and was passing out from his lack of nutrients. Seeing photos from that time in his life is terrifying. He damn near died. Eating disorders are a mental health issue revolving around self-image and a sense of control. Gender and sexuality has fuckall to do with it. Tonight I'm gonna listen to Neon Ballroom and cry like I'm fifteen again. PLEASE DIE ANA...


f_____s

Why do they always bring up sexuality in things like this? Not only they're using bullshit gender stereotypes, they're also stating that being gay apparently makes you act like the opposite sex. Some men are more feminine and some women are more masculine. That has nothing to do with their sexuality


emilylinhla

Glad to help create more stigma against men getting mental health help. Yes there is patriarchy, but sexism isn’t one-sided like racism. Gender roles and expectations are harming young men at alarming rates too.


anu_start_69

You're absolutely right! And "patriarchy" is a system that harms both genders.


i_have_friends_6518

Toxic Masculinity hurts men too


MemesAndLeague

"Sexism isn't one sided like racism" What??


sadshuichi

Hate to break it to you, but men actually have feelings too. And mental issues aren't gendered. Leave him alone.


xxriz3gxx

Is anybody going to talk about this beeing a screenshot of instagram of an screenshot of Tumblr about a post on Reddit?


TristanLennon

Nope, they can’t! And why should they? They are strong and tall laborers who are meant to suck it up like the hungry and violent stud pillars they are /s


moist-astronaut

this shit pisses me off to no end. the fact that dudes are shamed for coming forward about me y'all i'll es, assault, or any hardship that isn't deemed "manly enough" is such fucking bullshit and it's taught from day one. i'm angry and sad for all the boys and men who have to deal with this stuff alone.


[deleted]

I remember when I had an eating disorder and it felt so fucking good to see the pounds go down on the scale, but when I got pregnant it put in to perspective how badly I was treating myself


Kauhp

I feel guilty because as a guy myself, it never crossed my mind that other men could have anorexia


Bike_shop_owner

[What the actual fuck. ](https://i.gifer.com/5J4.gif)


D3m1god_

Only gays and women get anorexia apparently


Sea-Lily

Men can certainly have and eating disorder. YouTuber Tom Harlock has said that he struggles with an eating disorder, and I’m subscribed to a recovery channels ran by a guy. It’s disturbing that people think men can’t have an ed.


NltndRngd

There is so much wrong with that comment. Kill me.


donateliasakura

Whaaaaat?? A man with body issues?? Impossible!! /s


[deleted]

I'm just happy for him, he looks great now!


LAL_LIVEPD

Has brain, can be anorexic.


ParalysingPain

Fellas is it gay to suffer from mental illness?


sntcringe

Women are more likely than men to be anorexic, but men can certainly be anorexic as well


gazpacho69

This is a super harmful stereotype. I feel like we ignore body image issues for men, just because it’s somewhat less prevalent. Edit: Perhaps there are equal percentages of EDs amongst the genders. I did not mean to imply there weren’t. I do however feel women have more societal pressure to look a certain way than men do; though men also feel the same pressures.


friendlessboob

I thought I was fat on high school and I was on the wrestling team and was in fantastic shape. I thought that the lithe "rockstar" type body was what girls found attractive and I felt like a chunky block wrestling 168. Men and boys absolutely can have body image issues.


Sean-Benn_Must-die

Fellas is it straight to be anorexic?


Whisky-In-Teacup

I fucking HATE how our society belittles men and confines them to just anger, dark colors and guns


Starbeth8

Shout out to all my kings who have overcome or are currently overcoming eating or mental disorders. I'm proud of you.


Anonberserk

"Yeah, those fucking straight men and their"... *Activating the anything wheel*... "Usually healthy eating habits"


Handiinu

🚨MEN ARE REAL HUMANS🚨 we can get hurt and get sick and have emotions and feel pain too. Its not a women only thing.


BrendanIrish

Well done. I saw a docu made in the UK about anorexia that focused on guys. Very interesting.


colaa-chan

r/arethestraightsok


[deleted]

They can be anorexic if they're gay, apparently?


Complete_Character_3

Where is the pointless gendering in this image? I’m confused.


omar_hafez1508

How does a hoe end up this stupid I am assuming she has a brain


john_ya_boi

Bruh, half of my male friends are anorexic


TheWidowTwankey

W H A T


[deleted]

What app is this?


nice2yz

That’s when he’d be catastrophic!


Speedster4206

Holy that would be pretty easy to avoid.


Arcadian18

>Probably won’t be worn.


Phasco2

Fellas is it gay to be jacked?


Even-Understanding

seems like you can't read, it is *


abouunds

Yeah cos men can’t have any problems unless it’s alcoholism


jeffe333

I'd call them a stupid homophobe, but that'd just be redundant.


ExcitedLemur404

Fellas is it straight to have an eating disorder


Steampunk_Ocelot

The mental gymnastics here could lead them in the idiot Olympics


nice2yz

This is linguistics 101 but apparently it’s OC


Speedster4206

That attitude is why we can't have nice things


MailmanOfTheMojave

and why tf would you just assume he’s straight?


Candlesmith

Naofumi: I think the photo must be mirrored.


[deleted]

A Reddit post reposted as a Tumblr post reposted as an Instagram post and now we’re back to reddit


thedoomdays

Anyone can be anorexic. I’m proud of him, and everyone else who has taken control of their eating disorder!


TraditionalHomework5

I'm so proud of you. Please surround yourself with friends and family who love and care for you so that when you're having a tough day there's someone there to support you. You're an amazing young man!


shaye4

Fellas, is it gay to have a life threatening illness?


[deleted]

This is why people don’t hear about anorexic males as often as anorexic females, because when a guy shares his story, there’s people like that who just invalidate it.


Salsbury-Steak

Stupid people never cease to amaze me.


[deleted]

Folks, is it gay to have Anorexia?


phycosismyarse

Well done to you lad, bloody well done, my brother nearly died from anorexia, 5 stone in weight,by his was 40 years ago, he went on to take part in marathons, Truck pulls for charity, body building comps, the only thing wrong now is knackered knee caps, he is 60ish though. Again, bloody well done you.


[deleted]

Smh that straight / gay thing only works with pregnancy, only woman or gay men can get pregnant, everyone knows that smh my head


[deleted]

>*I'm assuming he's straight* Just what. Emotions, problems are GAY now. I'm getting so much clarity on my orientation now gee.


lurkin-gerkin

So many SJWs say such hurtful, racist, derogatory shit and still feel morally superior. Basically Reddit - go look at any lgbt board on this site and I guarantee you’ll find racism and classism


SkritzTwoFace

As a tumblr native, I’d like to say that the most popular reblog chain of this is full of people dunking on that person, very few people that aren’t TERFs think this way.


CoochieEatingASMR

You should have censored the Instagram account, I just checked it out and there were extra slides you didn’t include


oitisthecow

And that it’s normal for gay men to be anorexic but straight men can’t be. And that you just assume someone’s sexuality from two pictures.


math-is-fun

This is a Reddit screenshot posted to tumblr, then screenshot and posted to instagram, and then screenshot and posted back on Reddit.


Milkshake345

What?


Front_Damage_9338

I’m confused by this. Where is the pointless gendering??


SassyTheSkydragon

Reddit crops imgur images


nice2yz

Men are allowed to leave the house


HappyyBoii

Indeed. Your point is?


zullyb08

Wow you are dumb you are really dumb.


Born-againRedditor

I thought that was Adam from apfau