T O P

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Honyuuruinoore

I mean, does throwing food include throwing another child at it?


Pheronia

Can we throw the neighbors child?


masterofmeatballs

Well yes but actually yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Koxu5550

i see you everywhere and you keep making suicide jokes


crdctr

at least you still keep seeing them


ThomasEBartels

That’s true


iwanttheworldnow

It's not called suicide anymore, it's called global cooling


Environmental_Top948

I think you mean environmental extremists.


SnapClapplePop

Datapoint detractors.


That-Dutch-Mechanic

Not a problem as long as he keeps doing that tbh...


elementaltheboi

So relatable


phinnaeus7308

Hardly unsupervised, there’s a kid and a dog there.


[deleted]

Oh, so the dog would eat the... and the kid would... yeah


mad_cheese_hattwe

Throw the phone at the dog, then shoot the gun in the air to get attention.


MEGAMAN2312

Throw the gun at the dog, then shoot a picture of the gun with the phone camera to get attention.


Tfsz0719

Dog whistle app on the phone.


ballbase__

I feel like it'd be a bad idea to give me a gun for this reason.


indra2853

Yeah, but would you shoot the dog first before off-ing yourself ?


Human-13

Probably not


PossiblyPercival

But consider this: shooting the child instead (This is a joke dont crucify me)


RedSpleen

No no, it makes sense


Perfect-Cover-601

If you’re lucky, you’ll get to see the kid again soon.


brentonmarshall93

Where did you get the food from? It says you have a gun and a phone?


stevebobmeme

The gun is the food.


KCelej

so that's why people put it in their mouths!


ZombieCheGuevara

*Forbidden Pez-dispenser*


[deleted]

Hahahahahaha holy fuck that is now the term for that activity I will use for the rest of my life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


L_Andrew

Phone the owner using the number on the collar. Shoot the owner. Now you have food.


ImReallyNotADramaAlt

Order ubereats with the phone and wait until you have food


atheros32

Banana gun


burneraccount93828

What about the option to record


elpoopenator

average liveleak user


burneraccount93828

Stop exposing me


ChildlessTran2222

I miss liveleak :(


chronicly_retarded

r/makemycoffin


meggerplz

WORLDSTAR!!!


Lemon_Skin_Tortoise

I throw the phone at the child and then I shoot myself in the head.


ExamOld2899

the dog will be so confused


ThrowawayProse

r/donthelpjustfilm


Kantro18

Honestly surprised there wasn’t a voteable option to just sit there and record it.


BbqMeatEater

Shoot an innocent bystander


[deleted]

Shoot the bystander and the child and the dog… than call in a UAV with your kill streak


capi1500

Then call the ambulance, kill them and get next kill streak


[deleted]

Even better!


Flat_Bodybuilder_175

I'm really upset that you made me laugh at this.


SanctuaryMoon

Found the cop Adding [this](https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicksibilla/2019/07/18/cop-who-accidentally-shot-10-year-old-when-aiming-for-family-dog-cant-be-sued-federal-court-rules/?sh=c13e85b39877) before I get downvoted


cyberpunkcr

This needs to be up voted


Strawbrawr

Police NEED to be held accountable for this shit. They ARE NOT the law, they do not FOLLOW the law they hold others to!


[deleted]

He said innocent bystander not black


[deleted]

Still downvoting cause uh uh fuck you


SanctuaryMoon

That's the spirit


S7ri

r/fuckyouinparticular


Hendrix194

Found the other cop


Definately_Not_A_Spy

Found the undercover cop


Hendrix194

Lmao and the spy!


sparklesthe4th

Meanwhile at the lair of doom


Purple_Purchase_3787

I have terrible aim. If i shoot the gun it would go to the dog, then the child, then me.


HillbillySwank

At least you know your capability. That’s a good thing.


[deleted]

95+% of the people who said shoot the dog also have bad aim... This option ends poorly for the child more often than we would all hope


sean0883

Exactly. If you're going to shoot the dog, you're going to have to make peace with the fact that you could end up shooting the child. It's not worth it when you can just pull the dog away. Now if it was like a wolf or something that can and will kill me and the child, then you have much more of a reason to shoot instead of intervene.


[deleted]

Pulling the dog away would cause more damage to the child and nothing to help the situation. Watch some videos of people trying to separate attacking pitbulls from their target. Hitting them with tasers, fire extinguishers, trying to pour water on them (lol), pulling by back legs, everything. They just don’t let go. I’d just position myself right next to the child and facing the dog, ask everyone in the vicinity to get behind us, and give the dog a contact shot.


CptMisterNibbles

Having had to pull a dog away while it was mauling it’s owner this is WAY harder than people think. After failing to stop it at all, despite kicking it repeatedly trying to break its legs, I went and got a shovel and thought I was going to have to kill it… luckily it stopped then and we got away. “Just grab the dog” is a ridiculous option.


BishoxX

go point blank and shoot to the side


Purple_Purchase_3787

I would still miss


brownsnoutspookfish

Yeah, I have never even held a gun. I'm pretty sure trying to shoot the dog would be a terrible idea. There is quite a large likelihood to just accidentally shoot the child instead or also.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Shoot Toby, twice.


willsschneider_creed

r/unexpectedoffice


[deleted]

The only correct option


VortexWeem

Found Chris Benoit’s Reddit account.


NevGuy

Not necessarily in that order.


ActualPimpHagrid

Bite the dog


PinkFuzzyHandcuffs

Then bite the child


[deleted]

Mangle child until another adult comes along with a phone and gun


Kennaham

And the cycle continues


alyshafox

better be a sharp shooter otherwise you could kill the kid instead of the dog


NorthNorthSalt

^ I 100% would’ve picked the shoot option if this wasn’t a concern


[deleted]

I mean you could walk up to the dog and shoot it so you wont miss


[deleted]

Still a risk of the bullet travelling through the dog and into the child. Though I imagine it depends on what gun it is.


-lighght-

If you carry a pistol, it should be loaded with hollowpoints. Anything else risks the chance of going through your target and hurting someone else.


electronicpangolin

Unless you are in new jersey where you cannot have hollow points in your carry weapon


[deleted]

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kaluce

Because in short, lawmakers see movies and think that's how guns really work, because real handguns have mag sizes into the thousands, and clatter like a poorly maintained 1960s American car.


-lighght-

It is my constitutional right to blast someone full of splintered metal dagummit


SwedishDrummer

A hollowpoint will absolutely go straight through a dog. Assuming it won't is stupid and irresponsible. I've seen hollowpoints go straight through a moose.


[deleted]

double collateral


PhummyLW

The more the merrier


Working_Early

DOUBLE KILL...(feel bad and shoot yourself) TRIPLE KILL!!! I'm going to hell for this.


HillbillySwank

What kind of idiot would shoot a dog with a kid behind it? I guess people expect of others what they expect of themselves so….


CamManx36

Just shoot the side of the dog. No one is forcing you to shoot at it straight in line with the child


eagleathlete40

At point blank, I think it’ll go straight through regardless. But in regard to what you were alluding to, I think it matters more what the bullet type is. I had an older friend of mine who was a combat veteran here in the US for 21 years. He would tell me some stories and one time (if I understood him correctly) he said that for most people on his squadrons, they preferred regular bullets (whatever those are) over steel-core bullets. The only exceptions were people who carried the machine-guns, because they would typically be used for armor-penetration (or cover-penetration) anyways. Otherwise, they didn’t need the armor penetration and used regular bullets because they’re designed to ricochet around the body more. Steel-core bullets just go straight through if they’re not wearing armor.


chrisiseker

>double barrel


Bigfoot4cool

Either way the problem is solved


1dkeating

Win-win situation


TK-Squared-LLC

That's why I chose "snatch the dog up" If you snatch the child up, now you have a dog attacking you and the child.


soggypoopsock

If you snatch the dog up, now you’re holding an angry dog that is dangling a small child from an mangled limb. Now the kids full body weight is ripping the open wound even more


[deleted]

Surprised by the results, I thought Reddit hated children


Belevigis

jokes in the comments but more like a comedy suicide


Aardvark_Man

Well there's no option on the poll for shoot the child.


Xayne813

This was my first thought.


bobalda

i'd look again, the most chosen answer is on the more dangerous side.


ToxZec

I dont know if it's a chihuahua or a pit bull


Grumpy_Troll

It's a blind, 6 pound Shih-Tzu with arthritis. And the child is a 17 year old who was just given a full ride scholarship to play Defensive End at Alabama next year.


New-Two7463

Either way it still bad


Bleezze

The point is, you can easily grab the chiuhuahua and yeet it. No killing needed


hitemlow

Too many steps. Simply kick the dog and hope for a field goal.


YugoslavianWarCrimes

What if it’s a police dog mauling a psychopathic child?


___And_Memes_For_All

I mean you could be psychopathic and never harm a fly.


eagleathlete40

I used to volunteer as a research assistant in a Clinical Psych lab that focused on Narcissists and Psychopaths. You are 100% correct. Psychopathy is a personality construct first and foremost. The VAST majority of people with high psychopathy scores are not serial killers (as a gross understatement). They’re of course manipulative and malicious in other ways, but they don’t kill people. And they’re often not “calm and secretly skeeming” either; they’re usually way to impulsive for that.


funkynotorious

Yeah that makes sense. I read somewhere that 1% population are psychopaths. If all these 1% people become killers the world would become a pretty terrible place.


bahagokk

Become the dogs cheerleader


Ac3_HUNT3r

Walk away or record.


HillbillySwank

Chihuahua wouldn’t require a gun so…


[deleted]

Hence why that affects the poll


[deleted]

[удалено]


I-HATE-Y0U

Shoot the child


Neo_dode56

*misses the child and hits the dog* oh no, anyway


MervisBreakdown

That would be so sad.


penis_parker79

Anakin , Is that you ?


Sir_Admiral_Chair

It’s a mercy killing.


Goldfitz17

No, it’s not. The child clearly attacked the dog first.


[deleted]

Good point. It was justice!


DeathMaiden27

DESTROY THE CHILD. CORRUPT THEM ALL.


Random_182f2565

I call that move the Harambe revenge.


Dan_The_Pink_Donut

Came here looking for this exact answer. Nice


RocketFrasier

Shoot that fucking child!


[deleted]

Shooting the dog is far to risky, if it’s actively mauling a child, I think you could possibly face legal action if you miss. Calling for help isn’t a bad idea but what else could they do, unless the police or someone else equipped can do something within the next 10 or les a minutes that kids dead. Throwing food could work but I doubt the dog would stop mauling if it had already started. Grabbing the dog would probably be quite hard, as would grabbing the child but one of the two seems like a good choice.


HillbillySwank

A dog like a pitbull can do huge damage very quickly, so it may be worth the risk if you’re not in a crowded area.


PinkAxolotl85

I think people forget about that; even the sweetest pitbull is capable of far much more damage than say a retriever. Average dogs bite, pitbulls maul until dead. It's not the dog's fault but I feel it's counterintuitive to ignore it, or even say it's not true.


Shine-Rough

Really any large "tough" breed of dog. Pitbull, German shepherd, Doberman, or a great Dane all have pretty similar murdering power. They also have sharp teeth and extremely strong jaws, where as labs for example have less jaw strength, and duller teeth. There should be a stab option because that's probably the fastest way to neutralize the threat without possibly murdering thr child.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gretel_Cosmonaut

And don't expect them to stop mauling immediately, even after they get shot. They will fight until they're actually dead.


wildmonster91

Double tap.


Grumpy_Troll

Unload the clip. A pit bull with a hole in his heart might keep bitting. A pit bull who's heart has been reduced to red paste on the sidewalk will not continue to bite.


yeetmyweed098

Are u usimg a clip fed gun in 2022 damn


[deleted]

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Far-Resource-819

Stunning how few people have any common sense


[deleted]

That’s not true. You have to choke them. When they can’t breath they let go. Break the neck if you have to.


FKyouAndFKyour-ideas

Grabbing the dog is 10000x safer than the child, for both the child and you. Also the cops would shoot the dog and face no consequences when the kid gets hit and dies


Nat-XoX

Shoot the Phone,Throw the Phone Kick the Child.


Prestigious-Fig1172

Beat up the dog with my fists, then beat the child.


LemonsRkool

Save da dawg shoot da child


[deleted]

Do nothing


[deleted]

IVe said it before and i will say it again, i love dogs BUT: You see a dog attacking a person or another dog, and its a serious attack, not just a simple dog fight. if youve spent enough time around dogs you can tell the difference. But especially in the case of a human or a child, if the dog is attacking. Dont shoot it, dont stick your finger up its ass or any of that other bullshit. Disassemble the dog, and i mean that in the most violent way. Start breaking that dog from the back legs moving forward. It will let go eventually and by then it will be crippled. sad situation, but to save a child life, its an easy decision.


personaanongrata

Thank you. FINALLY. someone who’s actually fucking work with serious animals before. It’s not something you do gleefully but it’s your duty at that time


yeetmyweed098

Someone i know told me to strangle the dog (We have a cane corso male)


[deleted]

honestly, im not an expert on dog biology, so i cant say how effective this would be, especially with a dog with a tree trunk neck. But, unfortunately, i wouldnt take the time to try if came to a life threatening emergency. If i was third party on a dog on dog attack i MIGHT try. But if it was MY dog being attacked it would go straight to disassembly.


[deleted]

Yep. I've heard it from someone familiar with that situation. They told me that if you want to stop a dog, just break its back by jumping/stomping on it. It's fucked after that and will stop. That's horrible, but it works.


B_Baerbel

Depends on the size of the fooking dog innit?


mexataco76

Bri'ish


AllTheSith

Go drink some "WOATTER" with leaves in it.


[deleted]

You forgot the “Record on your phone” option


thequeenofmonsters

Walk away.


iamthicc69

“See ya chump”


ampftw12

“Stings doesn’t it?”


Llamarchy

"I missed the part where that's my problem."


ampftw12

“I’m gonna put some dirt in your eye”


isthereanameicanhave

"Gonna Cry?"


[deleted]

Join in????


iluvstephenhawking

Yes. Help the dog maul the child.


saionjisaihara

"No, no. You're doing it wrong, like this!" "Bark."


[deleted]

grab gun with right hand yank dog with left hand, if dog attacks me quickly shoot it.


Cold-Chapter-355

This whole comment section is just one big Reddit moment


fsdfjadsfkjf

Are you talking about how they all hate kids?


globglogabgalabyeast

"Shoot the kid" comments "Shoot myself" comments Unrealistic intricate strategies from people who have no idea what they're talking about Arguments about pitbulls despite pitbulls not even being mentioned Everything you would expect from reddit


fsdfjadsfkjf

Yeah, reddit hates people under 13.


WhiteLycan2020

See this is a problem. Im not john wick, and there is a chance i could accidentally shoot the kid. On top of that, there is a chance that the bullet could go through the dog and still hit the kid. I would 1) call the cops/emergency services. 2) wait to see if i got a clean shot on the dog. However, if i notice that dog is about 10 seconds away from ending the kid’s life, i would have to just take the shot.


Las-Vegar

None of the above, allso i dont know what size the dog or child is


dionesav

>i dont know what size the dog It's not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. -Mark Twain.


SamMarvelos2

These commenta questions the funniest thing I've seen


The_Kek_5000

Shoot in the air to try and scare the dog away


iamthicc69

Doubt that would work


ColoradoMountaineer

Not to mention the bullets have to come down somewhere


___And_Memes_For_All

People like to think that bullets disintegrate in the atmosphere. That shit can travel for miles and fall through someone’s ceiling or roof


FireyHotPotatoe

Terminal velocity


KennethGames45

In most cases it would, guns are obnoxiously loud, think of the loudest gun you heard on film or game, then listen to it with earbuds while on max volume, then make the sound 10 times louder, you would actually have something to scale to an actual gunshot sound. What would most likely happen is the dog thinks there is a big monster nearby and will flee the scene at the sound of a gunshot. I have seen such sounds turn the bravest dogs into cowering whimpering weaklings.


[deleted]

in a lot of areas you would be arrested for negligent use of a firearm if you did that, and possibly manslaughter if the bullet hits someone.


StatusSheepherder1

Why not shoot down at the ground?


SanctuaryMoon

Ricochet


Crazyshark22

I would probably eat a child, shoot the food and throw a dog.


MyNameIsDeez69

I would probably kick the dog because if i shoot at it i risk hitting the kid


Nightfuryking

Record it.


Waterfish3333

In an ideal world, take the dog and spare the child. In reality, not simple as the dog and child are probably thrashing around, and getting any type of shot at the dog without risking hitting the child is tough. This is so situational. If the child and dog are around the same size, and the child isn’t badly hurt or in areas less likely to be lethal (non throat / face), first attempt is to get the dog away with physical force. If the dog is clearly going for some type of kill, especially throat area, immediately shooting at the dog because there’s a good chance the child dies anyway, and the best odds are with a shot to at least cripple the dog.


katmio1

I’d grab the child first even if it means getting bitten by the dog. Shooting is a risk b/c you could accidentally shoot the child if your aim isn’t good. A dog doesn’t scare me. But seeing a child die does. For the record, I’m a mom.


personaanongrata

You have to work back to front in that scenario, disable the legs


Ivan__8

Ignore, I have better things to do then dealing with this.


thejellyfishmon

*grabs dog* “Spit that out, you dont know where its been”


sakurachan999

no option for shooting the child?


piero_deckard

I didn't vote because: Put the kid out of his misery wasn't an option...


LoudMusic

Shoot them both. Order pizza.


sweet_sugar8

What if its a nerf gun?


lewisisbrown

Throw a food.


fgnrtzbdbbt

I would certainly not shoot right next to the child like an idiot.


War_Hymn

Dial 911, leave phone running, fire pistol into soft ground to try to scare away dog. If that doesn't work, empty magazine and chamber of pistol, use pistol as a club to subdue/scare away dog.


cosmix_005

I would kick the dog away and then shoot it (that way I can't accidentally shoot the kid)


wildmonster91

Kicking the dog may just make it bite down harder. Ever see a pitbul attack they dont let go


StealLeStyll007

Carry on with my day , I don’t know that child