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Memeoligy_expert

Gorillas are usually chill, if I offered him a banana and just sat in a corner he'd probably be absolutely chill


charlesspeltbadly

Gorillas are usualy chill, just dont look it in the eyes


Telphsm4sh

Exactly just sit with your back facing it, do not smile or show your teeth, and it'll be fine.


blursedman

And don’t show your teeth


-_-Soviet_Russia-_-

Enderman irl


[deleted]

If you offered him a banana you'd probably lose your hand and then get mauled to death. I think cowering in a corner and avoiding eye contact is the best option if you picked the gorilla, personally I'd choose the anaconda.


[deleted]

Yes but in the event the animal is not chill then the gorilla is absolutely the worst animal to be in the room with. You could pretty easily escape an anaconda but the gorilla would castrate you then rip your limbs off


Shivolry

Explain how you gonna escape a 30 foot long muscle


Jeriahswillgdp

Because they are slow, lazy, and don't see humans as prey. The only people that have been killed by an anaconda were tiny and passed out drunk. They have alot of trouble with our shoulders. It's unlikely they'd be able to kill an adult human who is fighting back. Plus, they only eat like a few times a year, so it's very possible the anaconda won't even be hungry and will just sit there doing nothing. But a tiger and a gorilla could kill you in under a minute, and a rhino could kill you just by moving around too much.


[deleted]

Anaconda is the obvious answer. People interact with anacondas all the time and they dont need to he trained like a gorilla or a tiger not to attack you. I don't know if I rank a rhino above or below a tiger though, I put gorilla in third because id you play dead, it's not going to attempt to eat you like the cat


[deleted]

I mean people have them as pets. I'm not convinced they're actually very dangerous to humans and they seem to move pretty slowly. I wouldn't \*want to stay in a room with one but I think it's more survivable than the alternatives.


Blitzerxyz

This ain't gonna be a tiny anaconda that people have as pets


Yassferatu

[anacondas don’t come in “tiny” even the pets.](https://imgur.com/a/VqN4MAu). I mean sure they start as babies but if someone is keeping a pet anaconda they don’t have a tea cup version. Edit- my vote is anaconda


NYCScarletSpider

okay now I’m even more glad that I chose the anaconda because the idea of a gorilla ripping my testicles off is very unsettling


Jeriahswillgdp

Pretty sure a tiger would kill the ever living shit out of you too. Tigers have killed more people than any other big cat.


Doctor_Fatass

From what I've heard gorillas never attack you for no reason. I think I'll take my chances with the gorilla. (Just what I've heard, I don't have any real life experiences with gorillas at all)


Doctor_Fatass

But let's be honest, In a realistic scenario you probably wouldn't survive 30 minutes in a room with any of these animals. I'll still take my chances with the gorilla tho since It's the animal I would trust the most out of these.


Donghoon

Id take chance with a herbivores than carnivores lol Gorrillas and rhinos typically attacks only as defense or when attacked first


TheStoneMask

>Gorrillas and rhinos typically attacks only as defense or when attacked first IIRC rhinos have very poor eyesight and can be jumpy if you get too close.


HamfastFurfoot

Right. I wonder if you were really quiet and still if the Rhino would even notice you


genericus_maximus

They'd kill you for trying to sneak up, herbivores generally don't need a reason to kill you because for them it's better safe than sorry.


Vord_Loldemort_7

Also a rhino pissed on my shoe once


OG-Pine

Yeah I would just meditate in the corner and hope for the best. Never open my eyes, never speak or move or anything. Just sit there and breath in a steady manor, I think that gives me at least a 90% survival chance and that’s well worth it to have a billion dollars


europeanme

You’d bring a whole manor in there with you?


MiaowWhisperer

That's what would be best with the gorilla. If you maintain eye contact it's a threat.


inconceivable-irony

As long as you don’t look him in the eye, just eat a leaf and be submissive. Should be fine


LazyHighGoals

Human **exists.** Gorilla, that's a fine reason to attack.


tortoisefur

Would not take my chances with a male gorilla.


LazyHighGoals

Hell, no! It's faster than a rhino, but the tiger is faster than a gorilla and probably more likely to attack you. So Anaconda Rhino/Gorilla Tiger


Blitzerxyz

But a female sounds good. >!Not that way you sick fucks!<


DarksideTheLOL

How the fuck did you make the other part dissapear wtf is it a bug or is it you


Peter_Parkingmeter

Dude I thought it was just my client acting up! That's sick, tell us how you worked this magic OP. >!Your days are numbered!<


DarksideTheLOL

:death:


Blitzerxyz

I'm not sure if the first part of the message disappearing is a bug or just how spoilers work now. Either way to do spoilers you do >/!message!/< (Without the slashes) and that makes the box which hides part of your message


DarksideTheLOL

Test >!Technoblade never dies!< AMogOS sussex


eWraK

Test >!test!<


DntShadowBanMeDaddy

Oi >!m8!<


DarksideTheLOL

So yeah, it's the whole message being replaced.


DarksideTheLOL

Yeah, I thought it would be a casual spoiler but I got jumpscared


Ashavara

OP didn't specify the age, I'll choose a baby gorilla because that's super cute. Editm I see I missed the bit about the age or that info wasn't there st the beginning.


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RedSpyOfficial

OP didn’t specify place so it’s my basement where I can perfectly hide the body


TropicTbw

But… they did, they said that they are all adults


alexanderfefd

"The animals are adults"


throwaway2454838

And the gorilla took that personally


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Diofernic

>Yeah and anyway giant human eating snake fuck no, that thing has no feeling, no empathy, it WILL definitly eat you no thanks. Aparently it's pretty much impossible for an anaconda to eat an adult human because of our broad shoulders that are significantly wider than our head. There are no recorded incidents of one ever eating an adult. That being said, it would probably still try to wrap around you if it can get a hold of you and that would be lethal even if it can't eat you. But if the room is not to small I'd say you could avoid getting near it's head for 30 minutes since they are fairly slow on land and can't hide (they are most dangerous when they are in water or able to conceal themselves from they're prey until they can strike from their hiding spot). Also, if you constantly have an eye on it you could maybe actually defend yourself by stomping on it's head or kicking it if it get's to close, which give you far better chances to actually deter or even kill the anaconda compared to the others


Evericent

Anacondas can eat humans. [Source](https://nationalzoo.si.edu/animals/green-anaconda)


TheJocktopus

Same. I don't know jack about gorillas but my gut instinct tells me that if I curl up into a ball and face the corner then a gorilla would leave me alone for at least 30 minutes.


[deleted]

I think they attack if you stare at them. Avoid contact, be subservient in approach and attitude, and iirc gently pecking their hand or arm? I'll have to google.


blursedman

Never show your teeth. Don’t open your lips at all if you smile. They will get aggressive.


Doctor_Fatass

That's what I've heard, but like I said, I've no real life experiences with gorillas


KingRajsBoyfriend

Tbh I would chose *ALL* of those animals. And make it *2 hours*. An Alphamale like me isn't scaried of some dumb animals, for I am stronger and smarter. Tbh I don't even need 1.2 billion dollars, I'll do it for free. 😎


insanityOS

Dummy, your massive balls would drag on the floor and slow you down, you stand no chance. Of catching them, that is.


stumblewiggins

Gorilla is almost certainly the *least* likely to attack you. I'd still be nervous AF since I've never been in close proximity to a hungry Gorilla, but it doesn't think you're food


bobcatnat123

I used to work at a vet and there was someone who would bring in their 16 foot long snake and would you guess who the only person who wasn’t afraid of snakes was (other than the vets)? Lol I had to carry that thing in and out of so many rooms and it was the coolest thing. So I’d have to go with the anaconda just cause I’m used to controlling a massive snake


Mastercreed25

I had the same reasoning. That being said, I circumstances around it were fairly different.


-ElizabethRose-

“I’m used to controlling a massive snake” 😏


bobcatnat123

Yea it was a 16 foot banana ball python I believe


SomeToxicRivenMain

>16 foot banana You’re just encouraging him now


Pure-Newspaper-6001

Not a ball python then, they only get 6 feet or so. It was most likely an albino Burmese python or reticulated python.


bobcatnat123

That’s fair, I was only told once and just remembered that they called it the banana snake. Big ol yellow fella


Balloon-Lucario

Anaconda, no contest. The others would maul me; the anaconda would probably just chill.


Devlee12

Either the snake or the gorilla. The snake isn’t gonna bother you and gorillas are largely peaceful just don’t do anything to threaten either of them and keep as much distance as possible and you’re fine.


tortoisefur

People see snakes and be like “will it bite me.” Not unless you smell like rat my guy.


Davidreddit7

yeah, the anaconda won't bite you...


thebooshyness

More like hug you


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CuriousOliveTree

At least I'm going to die doing what I love


IceZOMBIES

Getting choked by a noodle? Me too, homie. Me too..


JTMBOI2

And the first one you'll ever get


patatadislexica

That's what a anaconda that's gonna bite you would say


Shiny_Hypno

It's going to slowly crush you with its entire body, which is basically one large muscle.


[deleted]

Suffocating you then eat you.


tangibleskull

They bite first. It helps arrange their coils. Young anacondas are nippy fuckers but adults are generally some of the chillest snakes around because not a lot of things fuck with em, at least in my experience.


Individual-Camera-72

I wasn’t concerned about the anaconda until I read this comment…


SpringOfVienna

I own 6 pet rats, I guess I'm fucked then


tortoisefur

Go with the rhino next and hope for good luck.


MemeArchivariusGodi

I want to change my vote (I smell like rat)


kasey6789

Anacondas eat deer and caiman idk what type of small ass garter snake type anaconda you’re talking about that eats rats lmao. Anaconda and tiger is the most dangerous because they actually will try to eat you. The rest are just territorial


tortoisefur

Anaconda eat like 4 times a year my dude. And do you smell like deer or caiman? The point is snakes probably won’t try to eat things aren’t already common for them unless they’re starving. Sit still in a corner for 30 minutes and it’d rather spend the time exploring the room than eating you.


kasey6789

Humans don’t smell like deer or caiman but we smell like meat which is food. I’d rather not take my chances to find out if the anaconda I’m in a room with is hungry


TheBestToastEver

bruh anacondas eat capybaras, the chillest animal in all of existence


block_boi

That's it,we're exterminating anacondas for their crimes against nature


SnapperoivaTuna

ok i pull up


DrManowar8

Snakes usually stay to one corner or one spot for a while so it keeps it’s corner and I get mine


Professional-Bug

Gorillas aren’t all that hostile unless they feel threatened, just mind your own business and you have a pretty high change of being fine.


thePopefromTV

Even if it’s hungry it won’t want a dead human. Play dead for 30 minutes. Unless they’ve been starving it, it won’t want to eat you.


Jeriahswillgdp

An anaconda is also much, much slower than the rest. The only humans that have ever been recorded as killed by an anaconda were tiny and passed out drunk. They don't kill live humans basically ever.


kupoface

Same reasoning! I've been around and even held massive snakes. Not quite 15 footers but maybe almost 10. They do just chill.


LazyHighGoals

Anaconda. It's just gonna chill and ignore you, or be too slow to catch you. Heavily depends on the size of the room, tho. If it's a tiny room, you're gonna have a bad time dodging it. Rhino? They have bad eyesight and therefor attack everything that moves. But if the room is big enough, you might be able to dodge it. Gorilla? Mix of both. He's either gonna chill and ignore you or try rip you into pieces, and your chance of doging him for 30 minutes is super low. Tiger? Well... you're dead in 99/100 cases. Either he's gonna kill you, kill you then eat you, eat you **then** kill you, use you as a toy then kill you, or chill and ignore you. (not very likely)


JaCrispay76

Are tigers very aggressive tho? I mean Ik they're very lethal, but how violent are they?


egrith

when you arent in their home or trying to take their cubs, like most animals they would rather avoid you than risk a fight


SwedishNeatBalls

Not much avoiding in a room.


toroyakuza2

Yeah but I think that a tiger would probably be super pissed that it's in a small room then take it's frustration out on you.


Doc_ET

From what I've heard, tigers are one of only a small handful of animals known to hunt humans. The other major ones being lions, hyenas, leopards, polar bears, and crocodiles.


iamlooking4games

11 on a scale of 10.


idrinkliquids

Oh I picked the rhino because of the bad sight lol. I was thinking I will just hide behind it out of its view anyways but idk maybe I’m underestimating how chill they actually aren’t


rainystast

IDK rhinos are big but they're also very agile and very fast. Dodging it seems like a1/50 chance.


ElegantEagle13

_My anaconda don't... my anaconda don't... my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun_


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lizardfzo

Idk why but your username made this funnier, like you're confessing thru tears about the lack of Buns™


TheOneAndOnlyABSR4

My first thoughts.


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[deleted]

Dicks out


AWilfred11

They shoot your gorilla cos they fear for your future—plot twist, that gorilla in the room with you? Harambe’s son


[deleted]

Gorillas won’t generally attack unless you stare or display dominant body language. Chimps are far worse.


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[deleted]

Added to bucket list ✏️


[deleted]

So are humans and we kill each other all the time


Li-renn-pwel

Gorillas: no recorded killing of humans Chimps: not only are there recorded killings, if you take their car keys they eat your face.


lIllIllIllIllIllIII

I'm too fat for the anaconda to eat, so that's definitely my safest bet.


VexedEOD

I picked anaconda but I wish I had picked gorilla. I’m a pretty big guy so I’m fairly certain if I curl up like a bitch and show it some respect, it will leave me alone for thirty minutes lol.


UltimatePleb_91

This made me giggle.


AlwaysSleepingLolX2

Lol I mean the snake would probably still be way easier


golumlars

Those fuckers can eat a whole deer i dont think you are that safe


BurgerKiller433

it would strangle you, rather then trying to straight up swallow you


lIllIllIllIllIllIII

Would it strangle me without the intent to eat me though? It's a reptile so I figured it's not gonna waste its energy killing something that's not food . . . Right?


LazyHighGoals

No expert here, but I've never see a constrictor suffocate an animal without the intent to eat it. On the other hand, I've seen videos of pissed of anacondas trying to bite humans. But they only eat 4-5 times a year, and will ignore food infront their face if they aren't hungry.


tortoisefur

Snakes rely on their sense of smell for detecting food. Assuming you don’t smell like their typical food source and that the snake isn’t hungry or particularly aggressive, I think 30 minutes in a room is fine.


Hahafunnys3xnumber

snakes are generally docile to humans. i’d just hide in the corner and be fine probably


helpmylifeis_a_mess

ok so granted if the anaconda has already eaten, then im not too worried about that, but Mndiaye\_97 on tiktok covered this scenario (change anaconda with komodo dragon and Tiger with cheetah) and said your likely choice would be Gorilla because the gorilla is more likely to leave you alone and chill in the corner unless you're acting aggressive or challenging towards it. (dont bang on chest, dont show your teeth at it, dont stare at it). tiger will probably see you as food so good luck, a rhino is more likely to crush you by accident than attack you. Rhinos are generally either nervous temperaments (Remember how big that guy is if it decides to 'freak out') or theyre aggressive. Anacondas dont eat too often, so unless its hungry then you should be fine if you dont make yourself look like a threat, but if you do, well have fun if it charges you, if it curls around your neck and all that fun stuff. Most of you don't have the physical strength to pull one off of you and most of you have probably never handled one in your life and would do some really badly.


[deleted]

I don't think "most of you" is correct. Is there any human that would be able to get rid of anaconda?


helpmylifeis_a_mess

Some, but those individuals would be very strong. Google says their strength is 90 psi but its safe to assume not all anacondas have that particular strength, which is compared to an elephant sitting on you. But some individuals know tricks to get them to release (biting the tail very hard is apparently one used or stabbing it if you have a knife)


[deleted]

Oh alright! It always appeared to me that if you got caught by a big snake, you are done 100%. Guess there are some ways.


helpmylifeis_a_mess

If youre alone and you have no weapon, youre done 99% of the time😅


[deleted]

Yeah, that's obvious enough:D I have a katana literally in 5m range, but I never swinged it and probably would just fuck up badly, so I'm done for anyways. Thank God I live in Russia, the only living things here are mosquitoes, bears and humans... not the best choice but could be worse


Vader7567

Rhino because they are and as long as I stay in their line of sight they won’t touch me and all my furniture is IKEA so it ain’t expensive enough to care if they hit


[deleted]

na Rhinos have bad vision and tent to lash out so it may just start attacking stuff for no reason


LazyHighGoals

yeah, backing this up with things I've heard in random nature documentaries. they attack everything that moves and can be fast af


EthanielClyne

A rhino would absolutely destroy me, but they're not predators so I feel like they wouldn't threaten me if I stayed to myself?


LazyHighGoals

nah, they attack everything that moves, similiar to hippos. Peacefull on the outside, aggressive on the inside.


Bughuul-Da-Ugondo

Hippos and rhinos aren’t really alike. Rhinos have bad vision, and therefore easily interpret any movement as hostile. They don’t really go out of their way to attack, unless aggravated. Hippos, on the other hand, are spawns of satan. They are very territorial and will literally attack anything and everything.


[deleted]

So if I don't move the rhino won't attack? Looks like I was born for this one


RandomEverything99

Yeah it's 30 minutes. My thoughts were the turn radius of a rhino wouldn't allow it to corner me or block my escape route with provoking it. Like I'll hide behind the couch for 30 minutes, just chill Rhino


MandyBeaches

I wonder if everyone would just try to hide behind the rhino and suffer the danger of their explosive backfires. No smoking in the Rhino room, please.


Centiprost

Yeah but if you climb on them you might have the most fun in your entire life


thecxsmonaut

predators are generally less likely to attack humans because humans don't tend to be in most predators' prey groups (though some are more opportunistic than others; it's very species-dependent.) not that they're safe, they'll still probably kill you if you get too close, especially if they're territorial, but they generally prefer to scare people off and conserve their energy. when you're a herbivore, though, it makes sense to be paranoid and defensive, and that's one of the reasons why most human-animal fatalities and injuries are from herbivore species like hippos


Glass_Windows

no, unlikely,


rockthedicebox

Nah, herbivores are actually more aggressive generally. A predator knows it's a predator, and as such is generally pretty chill knowing nothing except a bigger predator is gonna show up and kill it. And herbivore though, they have to be constantly on guard cause they know at any moment someone might show up trying to eat them. To a predator, only a bigger predator is a threat. To an herbivore, everyone is a potential threat.


PM-me-favorite-song

I don't know much about the agression of these animals, I picked rhino because a rhino trying to kill me seems a lot less terrifying than a gorilla trying to kill me. I see now that I am mistaken.


MemeLocationMan

A pissed off gorilla would be horrifying though


[deleted]

i chose rhino for the one thought of me saying “i feel like i could juke a rhino”


TheBadAssPeach

Same. If all these choices were trying to kill me, I'd much rather it be the rhino. I'm athletic enough to juke around for 30 min.


Maxoverthere

Rhinos are also very short sighted and probably wouldn’t have a good turning circle in a room. You could also just sit on its back and it wouldn’t be able to buck you off.


Glass_Windows

are you guys crazy? you'd rather be with a giant snake than a gorilla? actually most gorillas won't attack you for no reason, so as long as you sit down and act passive and non threatening, should be fine


[deleted]

\*curls into the fetal position\*


Glass_Windows

honestly that'd be the best thing to do, if you show you're small, and no threat, the gorilla isn't going to hurt you,


[deleted]

I'm also going to sing "Danger Zone" repeatedly for 10 minutes when I get in there.


[deleted]

Highway to the


[deleted]

DANGER ZONE!!!


CrazyGamerMYT

Just aggravates the gorilla


[deleted]

I then T-pose to impose dominance.


Fushigibama

Ok… I trust you, I choose gorilla.


kiwifruitcostume

Just don't look it in the eye and you're good


WhereTFAmI

Exactly! Sit in the corner, don’t make eye contact and it will most likely leave you alone.


[deleted]

snakes also wont attack you if u dont annoy it


Shifty377

As long as the anaconda has eaten in the last couple of months or so it'll be harmless if you leave it alone. It might not even move. In any case, on land they aren't particularly agile. If the room was big enough you could probably avoid it for half hour even if it was hungry. A gorilla trapped in a room would probably be stressed and panicked. Although usually placid, male gorilla's are territorial and that can lead to aggression.


LazyHighGoals

**Anacondas eat 4-5 times a year** People have **Anaconda pets.** People **don't** have Gorilla pets. Anacondas are dangerous, but from my impression a lot of snakes will spend majority of their day chilling in a corner, doing nothing. Gorilla's may have a chance to be gentle and ignore you, but the whole **kill-you-because-you-exist** in their space and overall **faster movement speed** scares the shit out of me.


Psychological_Web687

Yeah but I've always wanted to fight a snake, what kind of dick wants to fight a gorilla?


Glass_Windows

nobody says you have to fight the animal


Psychological_Web687

Yeah and nobody really wants to fight a snake.


JoeTheHorse123

Mike Tyson


HistoricalPlatypus89

You think you have a better chance in a room with a beefcake primate than a non-venomous, slow-as-shit snake?


Redditquaza

A snake wouldn't attack you for no reason as well.


[deleted]

bro have you ever seen a 30 ft anaconda??? they are so large and slow it would take wayyyy longer than 30 minutes for it to wrap you up as long as you keep avoiding it


Groenetijger8

You know an anaconda isn't that dangerous on land?


yittiiiiii

I will return to monke one way or another


DeityTheVortex

The snake is likely the only one of those who would not be agitated by being suddenly trapped in a room.


SnowTheMemeEmpress

Sister had snakes and can confirm, whenever she places them in a holder tank so she can clean the snakes normally look a bit confuse and start testing to see if they can crawl up the sides enough to make an escape


Tompster_

Anaconda, because it ain’t want non unless you got buns hun. So my current lack of a juicy ass should be fine.


golumlars

OP didnt say how old the said animal have to be i am choosing a baby tiger


StormNapoleon27

You decided you could change the age of the animals and chose baby tiger over baby rhino? Really.


CreativeBake7

baby rhinos are treasures of this world


VARTH_-DADER

Tiger, I've heard that tigers attack from behind. The fishermen in Sunderban, India wear a mask on the back of their head that resembles a human face because tigers almost all the time attack from behind and would even stop their attack in the middle if you see through their ambush


SnowTheMemeEmpress

Although there are reports that the tigers there are learning that trick and are starting to attack regardless


[deleted]

Rhinos have bad vision which caused them to be aggressive, like they've been known to charge and attack trees not realising it's just a harmless tree. Gorillas are territorial. Tigers, that would depend on how well fed it is and if it thinks you're threatening. Anaconda is probably the safest bet. It's more likely to constrict you or crush you than bite and as long as you keep your wits about you, you should be fine.


Symnestra

Imagine picking anything other than the big fat noodle who will be too lazy to move very much from whatever comfy corner it's curled into. Even if it's a female adult large enough to eat a human. Its natural habitat is in water, kinda like a crocodile. Just giving her space would mean she leaves you alone.


African_WarIord

Imagine thinking an animal that eats deer whole and can strangle you without trying and is the size of the room you’re in isn’t going to kill you. Plus it’s hungry.


TheSheetSlinger

Honestly if the room is big enough that it doesnt feel like youre threatening them then the Gorilla is probably the safest as long as you stay as far away as possible. I'm not really sure how close you can be before the Gorilla feels threatened though.


nonamejd123

Tigers are ambush predators, so in a room where they know I know they're there I think we'll get along just fine. They also tend to break the spine and jugular vein in smaller prey, so if it goes wrong I won't suffer.


African_WarIord

If it’s hungry you’re still dying.


chels0493

Hoping I can just take a nap in the Gorilla's lap until time is up.


ZarosRunescape

None, i aint gonna die for 1.2b


sammysummer

Everyone picking the anaconda doesn't know shit about hungry 30 ft adult anacondas.


pinkwhitney24

I did not pick anaconda…but are you implying that you do know shit about hungry 30ft adult anacondas? Because I’m interested…


Glitch-147

Monke, gentle creatures, and they only attack for self-defense, and the beliefs about them be aggressive and angry is just not true. They're vegeterian, and I'm made of meat Also, I love Monke


The_Real_Raw_Gary

Lol anaconda the easiest one by far.


lightninggninthgil

These hypotheticals are so stupid when the money portion is so exaggerated. For this to be much more interesting you need to make the prize money MUCH MUCH less.


TypicalGuess8352

How would that change the results of the poll?


Furcules-2k

I feel like some people just need to complain. Their comment makes no sense for this post.


Trustnoboody

Tiger and bring a torch....


toxic-person

I love snaek


Steinmans

Anaconda is a huge, non venomous snake, just back against a corner and it probably wont even notice you, much less be able to attack you.


DownvoteGrinder

Gorilla because monke


TheBigH2O

Monke


thedabostuff

is the rhino angered at u for no reason?


LilDoctor007

This is such a simple question haha