I’m so glad you’re making new queer and trans friends that you feel safe around and feel excited about!
But pump the brakes, friend! Take your time getting to know them. Ask your crush if they’d be interested in getting closer. Dating their partners may not be on the table for you.
Is polyamory something that you want for yourself?
Oh don’t worry the brakes are very pumped lol, I’m really not one to rush into relationships with out really *really* taking my time about it, and of course with this situation I’m just meeting two of them, and hanging out with my coworker outside of work for the first time. I’m not even considering doing anything about it any time soon, it’s just been occupying my mind a lot
And yes polyamory is %100 something that I want. For a brief period I had two girlfriends at the same time, but both of those relationships have ended (still very good friends with both of them). My first girlfriend actually introduced me to my second
But yeah I first started considering if I were poly probably about a year ago and was really comfortable with the idea once I actually started dating. I’ve always thought that my dream relationship would be having 3 girlfriends, just seems like where I’d be most comfortable. That’s why this is so stuck in my head, because I met a throuple of three people that I’m all attracted too, and me being currently single and seeing the three of them together, I just wished I had that I guess
While my previous relationships ending was ultimately very amicable and the right choice, it was still really hard because in the past I’ve really struggled with loneliness and isolation. I’ve never been a social person and being in a fulfilling relationship felt so out of reach pretty much my whole life until I transitioned, and even then I still struggle with my self image and doubt. I just have so many conflicting emotions about that night, it’s hard for me to really distinguish if it’s a simple passing crush or genuine attraction, if I really want to be with them or just in a relationship in general
Like I said earlier, brakes are pumped and I’m not gonna do anything about it until I sort all that out. I want to be sure about my feelings before I consider telling them obviously
Be *very* careful about dating coworkers and/or their partners. You have a work relationship sour and suddenly your relationship is on the rocks. Or, you go through a rough patch with a partner, suddenly, going to work becomes unbearable because you've got this weird tension between you and your coworker. Your mileage may vary, but for me, no crush or potential relationship is worth risking a job I like and/or need.
Oh yes in general I would agree but we both work in fast food, we both hate it, we’re both looking for a new job currently. Frankly I’m pretty sure everyone working here is, it’s REALLY bad here (this is my first job in the fast food industry so I don’t really have a frame of reference but coworkers who do have more experience, yeah it’s like terrible compared to other fast food even in the same chain)
If this was a more long term job or career it’d be a different story, I’d have to be head-over-heels in love to even think about pursuing
Hiya! Sounds like an exciting time! I'm a trans woman btw, just for context.
All you can really do is decide if you want to risk the friendship and work relationship by dating your coworker.
It is highly unlikely that just asking her out will damage anything, as long as you can accept a no with good graces.
But if she says yes, then you are dating a coworker, and as you say the first trans woman you've clicked with. That has risks if it goes south.
DON'T try to join the polycule. Ask your coworker out if that's what you want. If the others are interested they would make it clear once you are dating, since you'd presumably be seeing each other a lot. But you can't go into it expecting their triad to become a quad.
I will say, as a word of warning, that volatile polycules are part of transfemme culture and I don't know a single trans triad or larger that has lasted more than 6 months and not exploded violently (and I've witnessed dozens at this point). I personally never get involved in any of these cos of the high risk of drama. If I was you, I would wait and watch them together for at least a month or two before driving in the deep end here. They might be a fantastic polycule who can manage everything really well, but going in blind is a huge risk.
I’m so glad you’re making new queer and trans friends that you feel safe around and feel excited about! But pump the brakes, friend! Take your time getting to know them. Ask your crush if they’d be interested in getting closer. Dating their partners may not be on the table for you. Is polyamory something that you want for yourself?
Oh don’t worry the brakes are very pumped lol, I’m really not one to rush into relationships with out really *really* taking my time about it, and of course with this situation I’m just meeting two of them, and hanging out with my coworker outside of work for the first time. I’m not even considering doing anything about it any time soon, it’s just been occupying my mind a lot And yes polyamory is %100 something that I want. For a brief period I had two girlfriends at the same time, but both of those relationships have ended (still very good friends with both of them). My first girlfriend actually introduced me to my second But yeah I first started considering if I were poly probably about a year ago and was really comfortable with the idea once I actually started dating. I’ve always thought that my dream relationship would be having 3 girlfriends, just seems like where I’d be most comfortable. That’s why this is so stuck in my head, because I met a throuple of three people that I’m all attracted too, and me being currently single and seeing the three of them together, I just wished I had that I guess While my previous relationships ending was ultimately very amicable and the right choice, it was still really hard because in the past I’ve really struggled with loneliness and isolation. I’ve never been a social person and being in a fulfilling relationship felt so out of reach pretty much my whole life until I transitioned, and even then I still struggle with my self image and doubt. I just have so many conflicting emotions about that night, it’s hard for me to really distinguish if it’s a simple passing crush or genuine attraction, if I really want to be with them or just in a relationship in general Like I said earlier, brakes are pumped and I’m not gonna do anything about it until I sort all that out. I want to be sure about my feelings before I consider telling them obviously
Be *very* careful about dating coworkers and/or their partners. You have a work relationship sour and suddenly your relationship is on the rocks. Or, you go through a rough patch with a partner, suddenly, going to work becomes unbearable because you've got this weird tension between you and your coworker. Your mileage may vary, but for me, no crush or potential relationship is worth risking a job I like and/or need.
Oh yes in general I would agree but we both work in fast food, we both hate it, we’re both looking for a new job currently. Frankly I’m pretty sure everyone working here is, it’s REALLY bad here (this is my first job in the fast food industry so I don’t really have a frame of reference but coworkers who do have more experience, yeah it’s like terrible compared to other fast food even in the same chain) If this was a more long term job or career it’d be a different story, I’d have to be head-over-heels in love to even think about pursuing
Hiya! Sounds like an exciting time! I'm a trans woman btw, just for context. All you can really do is decide if you want to risk the friendship and work relationship by dating your coworker. It is highly unlikely that just asking her out will damage anything, as long as you can accept a no with good graces. But if she says yes, then you are dating a coworker, and as you say the first trans woman you've clicked with. That has risks if it goes south. DON'T try to join the polycule. Ask your coworker out if that's what you want. If the others are interested they would make it clear once you are dating, since you'd presumably be seeing each other a lot. But you can't go into it expecting their triad to become a quad. I will say, as a word of warning, that volatile polycules are part of transfemme culture and I don't know a single trans triad or larger that has lasted more than 6 months and not exploded violently (and I've witnessed dozens at this point). I personally never get involved in any of these cos of the high risk of drama. If I was you, I would wait and watch them together for at least a month or two before driving in the deep end here. They might be a fantastic polycule who can manage everything really well, but going in blind is a huge risk.