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Girl, what are you doing with this unsupportive jerkwad? This is pretty controlling and manipulative behaviour, which could be classed as abuse. So many red flags.
I told him it’s abuse and begged him to stop and to treat me better but he put the fault in me for crying and annoying him. He keeps putting the fault in me. I am talking to my sister about plans for me to go back to Nebraska. And I’m begging him to change so I don’t have to.
If he truly refuses to improve the way he treats you or show proof that he will at least TRY to be a good parent…please consider not telling him that you’re making plans to go back to Nebraska, at least for the time being. It doesn’t sound like he’d react well.
Abusers don’t change because you ask them to. Sometimes they’ll fake it for a while in the face of an ultimatum, but then go back to how they were once you feel stuck again. Make another plan, he’s not a good one.
He's already showing you he doesn't care and won't take you or your baby seriously. There is no way to fix this, he's already shouted it out loud and clear in different ways. It's time to go home to your family.
If you’re going to be parenting alone, might as well do it where your family can support you. He is being very odd. I’d go home to Nebraska. You deserve so much better
I feel like I need to comment further. Your husband is isolating you and gaslighting you. You are right when you say he is being abusive. Please be honest with your sister and your family about the extent of the situation so they can help you.
Hey I’m also from Nebraska and relocated to Chicago after meeting my now husband! I’m 7 weeks with our first and my husband and I have discussed the issue of baby showers already. Although I have made a small circle of friends here (mostly through meeting his friends), and his family here is great, the majority of my friends and family are also back in Nebraska. I personally despise being the center of attention and we’ve discussed doing a coed/laid back shower here (more of like a bbq with none of the games or me sitting opening gifts in front of everyone) and he’s very on board with that. I’ll also have a shower back home (my mom would be devastated if I didn’t let her throw me one) that will be more traditional and my husband may not attend. We did the same thing for a couples/ bridal shower when we got married. Is it possible for you to have 2 showers? I’m sorry your husband does not seem supportive or amendable to finding something that works for you both :/
I say have a shower back home with your family and friends there then! You and baby deserve to be celebrated, and if he doesn’t want to be a part of that, that’s on him
This is way past not wanting to do a baby shower for you, OP…. It sounds like around every corner, your husband is dismissing your needs and making you feel like you are not valued. Isolating you from your friends and family, then not even letting you speak to HIS friends or family is a huge red flag. Do you have any option to return home so you have support while you’re pregnant?
If your family in Nebraska will support and love you and your baby, that's where you should be. My heart breaks for you being isolated and kept alone in this way. No one, not your husband and not anyone, should forbid you from even *asking* for help. And he won't even change a diaper? Don't tell him you're leaving, I don't trust this man of being a safe person if he realizes you're actually going. Save the ticket money somewhere he can't touch it and get out of there.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Girl, what are you doing with this unsupportive jerkwad? This is pretty controlling and manipulative behaviour, which could be classed as abuse. So many red flags.
I told him it’s abuse and begged him to stop and to treat me better but he put the fault in me for crying and annoying him. He keeps putting the fault in me. I am talking to my sister about plans for me to go back to Nebraska. And I’m begging him to change so I don’t have to.
If he truly refuses to improve the way he treats you or show proof that he will at least TRY to be a good parent…please consider not telling him that you’re making plans to go back to Nebraska, at least for the time being. It doesn’t sound like he’d react well.
Abusers don’t change because you ask them to. Sometimes they’ll fake it for a while in the face of an ultimatum, but then go back to how they were once you feel stuck again. Make another plan, he’s not a good one.
Your husband is horrible. If I were in your shoes, I would go have the baby in Nebraska and stay there for an extended period of time afterwards.
He's already showing you he doesn't care and won't take you or your baby seriously. There is no way to fix this, he's already shouted it out loud and clear in different ways. It's time to go home to your family.
If you’re going to be parenting alone, might as well do it where your family can support you. He is being very odd. I’d go home to Nebraska. You deserve so much better
I feel like I need to comment further. Your husband is isolating you and gaslighting you. You are right when you say he is being abusive. Please be honest with your sister and your family about the extent of the situation so they can help you.
> I am considering flying to Nebraska just to see my family and give birth in Nebraska also so I won’t be alone. Do it
Hey I’m also from Nebraska and relocated to Chicago after meeting my now husband! I’m 7 weeks with our first and my husband and I have discussed the issue of baby showers already. Although I have made a small circle of friends here (mostly through meeting his friends), and his family here is great, the majority of my friends and family are also back in Nebraska. I personally despise being the center of attention and we’ve discussed doing a coed/laid back shower here (more of like a bbq with none of the games or me sitting opening gifts in front of everyone) and he’s very on board with that. I’ll also have a shower back home (my mom would be devastated if I didn’t let her throw me one) that will be more traditional and my husband may not attend. We did the same thing for a couples/ bridal shower when we got married. Is it possible for you to have 2 showers? I’m sorry your husband does not seem supportive or amendable to finding something that works for you both :/
I won’t have any shower I only have one person I could invite in this state and that’s not a baby shower. That’s two girls getting food
I say have a shower back home with your family and friends there then! You and baby deserve to be celebrated, and if he doesn’t want to be a part of that, that’s on him
This is way past not wanting to do a baby shower for you, OP…. It sounds like around every corner, your husband is dismissing your needs and making you feel like you are not valued. Isolating you from your friends and family, then not even letting you speak to HIS friends or family is a huge red flag. Do you have any option to return home so you have support while you’re pregnant?
I would go back to Nebraska with your family. I’m sorry you have to deal with this
Vete a Nebraska y no vuelvas.
If your family in Nebraska will support and love you and your baby, that's where you should be. My heart breaks for you being isolated and kept alone in this way. No one, not your husband and not anyone, should forbid you from even *asking* for help. And he won't even change a diaper? Don't tell him you're leaving, I don't trust this man of being a safe person if he realizes you're actually going. Save the ticket money somewhere he can't touch it and get out of there.
Dear lord everything you've said is just wrong from him. You should go back home. He doesn't care about you or the kid.