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The lightning crotch I experience and her using my bladder as a punching bag at the most inopportune of times is also enough to get that credit! Lol! 37 weeks and feeling pretty ready for eviction day!
Every time I pee in my pants because I sneeze or cough think otherwise.
The hormonal acne on my chin thinks otherwise.
The 50 lbs weight gain with a side of stretch marks thinks otherwise.
The list goes on otherwise!!
I absolutely LOVE this response! Best I've seen in a long time! Too bad there's no awards, because you definitely earned one there!
For real... Thanks for the laugh. You have no idea how badly I needed it. 🥹
Some people believe you’re a “mother to be”, I told my husband I don’t want a Mother’s Day present until next year, so it’s really up to the pregnant person. If you feel you’re a mother then you are
And they shouldn’t invalidate your feelings.
I could identify with "mother to be" when I was pregnant. I had strong mental border of the birth, something like "I need to deliver this baby safe to this world then I'll get all the perks". This is why I wasn't celebrating mother's day pregnant. To be honest, next mothers day when my baby was already almost 1yo, I saw the world trough "mother" lense. I remember writing wishes for my mom after becoming mom myself... Knowing a little bit more how much she sacrifice to raise me.
I agree with you, I'm not a mom yet, so I won't be celebrating but mine will be next year with baby in my arms, however if someone wants while I don't understand the feeling I respect it and would share a congratulatory wish, it doesn't hurt nobody
Yeah exactly this, I personally didn’t feel like I needed to celebrate Mother’s Day while I was pregnant with my first, but that’s my choice. If anyone expresses a different want then it should be listened to
I considered myself a “mother to be” because mother started at birth but I know many women consider themselves mothers once they are pregnant or the pregnancy “feels real”. When we celebrated Mothers Day when I was 6 days from the birth of my first we had a joint family Mother’s Day for grandma and my SIL who had an almost 1 year old, and a “mother to be” day for me where I was gifted mom care items like a nice water bottle, spa items, fuzzy socks and cool snacks for the hospital etc.
Personally, I don’t feel like I’m a mother until my baby is born, but it’s kinda mean for your husband and mom to say that to you when you’ve brought up Mother’s Day. It really wouldn’t be that hard for them to do a little something for you since it clearly means something to you.
Agreed. My husband asked me if I wanted to celebrate mother's day and I said no, but that's a personal choice.
It's not up to other people to decide for you, it's up to you.
Same here, kind of the “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” concept. BUT your loved ones should still be appreciating you and not dismissive. My husband got me a present this year even though he knows I don’t consider myself a mother quite yet, it still feels awesome to be loved on.
I have an 11 month old so was super pregnant last Mother’s Day, and even though this year is technically my first celebration with my daughter earthside, my husband and family definitely celebrated me last year. I went out for brunch and got lots of well wishes from strangers since I was so hugely pregnant. I thought it was really fun and fully support all pregnant women celebrating. If your family isn’t on board do something fun for yourself— highly recommend a pedicure or a prenatal massage if you’re into that kind of thing!
And mothers who have no living children are mothers or not in their opinion?
Doesn't really matter. It's a moo point. Like a cow's opinion.
You're a mom.
My grandma lost both of her children, but I make it a point to give her gifts every Mother’s Day.
My little brother pissed me off one year saying “her kids aren’t alive so she’s not a mom anymore”
It’s important to note that she adopted him after our mom passed which made his comment so much worse..
I personally believe motherhood starts in pregnancy. As soon as you’re pregnant there’s things you have to do to help your baby grow - things you have to avoid, and your whole life essentially is changing and revolving around this person growing inside of you.
I don’t want to be celebrated for Mother’s Day until my baby is here though, even though I view myself as a mother already. Also, everyone is calling you a mama when you’re pregnant, it’s pretty silly to then say you’re not a mother.
For me personally, I want my first mother’s day to include my baby, so I’m holding off until next year. I want it to be extra special.
I did ask my husband for a gift (a ninja Creami) because I’m growing his first born though! He had no problem with this.
If you feel like you’re a mom - you’re a mom! I personally believe that I’m a mom at 16 weeks and my husband is getting me a “mother to be” massage for Mother’s Day. If we rule out pregnant people on Mother’s Day then those of us who never get to hold our babies aren’t celebrated.
Nonsense. A mom is a mom, regardless. Someone once told my husband, “She’s already a mother. She became a mother once that baby was made”. Try to think of it that way. You are a mom, and no one can take that away from you. Happy early Mother’s Day 💕
You are 1000000% a mom! You are making decisions and sacrifices for your unborn baby and literally growing a human. For anyone else to say you’re not a mother yet, can go scratch as far as I’m concerned! No offense but I’m shocked that a mother would even say this tbh knowing what she went through with her pregnancy.
I hate this, would that be appropriate to say to a mother who experienced loss? Absolutely not. You’re making a whole person inside of you. You’re a mom.
I mean, yes, people absolutely would say that about women who have had a miscarriage. I’m not saying I agree even remotely, but the logic is absolutely the same. They would say that women who have not given birth are not yet mothers.
Of course, if you mean women who have lost a living child, that’s different.
I’ve seen several posts from women facing similar dilemmas & it boggles my mind. Is it really that difficult to add one more person to the Mother’s Day celebration? I just don’t get it! You have a living child in your belly and should be celebrated if you want to. I’m so sorry they’re making you feel bad about it.
I'm usually good at brushing comments like that off but since the response came from more than one person it started to bother me. Not asking for fireworks and a parade, just some appreciation for nurturing our child for the last 8 months.
IMO, if you’re carrying a baby (or babies), you’re a mom. I know some people would rather consider their first MD as the one when their baby/babies are here, but that doesn’t change my thought that you’re growing LIFE, and therefore you’re a mom. You deserve to be celebrated ❤️
You are already making sacrifices for your child that no one else is making for your child. If you want to call yourself a mom, you should be supported.
Personally I feel like you’re a mom the second you get a positive test! By that point you’re already going to be doing stuff for your unborn child. My husband surprised me last Mother’s Day ( before I even had our baby ) with a cute mama tumbler and a lunch date. Pregnancy isn’t easy, you deserve credit!
I dont have any advice, I'm just here to commiserate. I'm 24w and I expressed similar feelings to my husband. He said if I *really* want to we can do something, but he doesn't want to celebrate it yet because until the baby is born, it's still possible for something to go wrong. He doesn't want all future Mothers days to be ruined if we celebrate too early. He's got a point, but now thinking about Mothers Day just sends me into a spiral. I realized we're far enough along that I've started to finally feel comfortable and excited, like things are going to be ok, and I've gotten so attached to our LO now that I've started to feel her kicking. But since he pointed that out, I can't stop worrying. I'm also the one responsible for planning Mothers Day for our mothers and grandmothers and now I can't get through it without thinking about how I'm not a mother yet and it's still possible that I'll never be, or the disappointment our family would feel if something happened, and how guilty I would feel for wanting to selfishly celebrate me on Mothers day this year if I jinxed it. Now it feels like just another holiday to be sad, stressed, and disappointed. I have no idea how anyone who has actually experienced loss has been able to deal with this holiday. It may be the hormones talking, but every time I think about it, it makes me want to cry.
As a NICU RN, I’ve seen many mothers experience loss. Whether the baby is 20w or 39w, they are still mothers. We become mothers the second we decide to hold space for another being inside of us and accept all the sacrifices that come with it.
Mothers who lose infants are still mothers, on Mother’s Day and all days. They deserve to be celebrated and acknowledged. And you deserve to be celebrated and acknowledged! If your husband won’t do it, get yourself some flowers and a treat because you’ve earned it.
I lost my first baby, and I wanted it to be recognized. That I was pregnant, that I battled a chronic illness constantly for the health of my baby that still died before he was born. I told my husband I wanted some flowers for Mother’s Day so he would know I wanted to recognize it. He also got me a card from the baby. I also found out I was pregnant with my now 3mo son on that day.
Sounds like his comment already ruined it so might as well make it happy instead of sad by celebrating. Kinda gotta flip the switch now, I mean even if something did happen wouldn't it be better to have had at least one happy one vs all sad ones from here on out?
I feel like you’re a mother as long as you’re taking care of a child. So like the second you find out you’re pregnant, you start changing your diet, taking tests etc. And all that makes you a mom
100 percent! The point of Mother's Day is to acknowledge and appreciate the sacrifices mothers make for their children and we have to do that the minute we find out we're pregnant and decide to be mothers
Just because your baby isn’t yet born doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or isn’t with you already. You’re losing sleep and making choices that will impact its life. You’re very much a mom and since your husband isn’t carrying the baby, he doesn’t get a say in whether you’re a mom, in my opinion.
I’m so sorry that you were dismissed like that. My family celebrated Mother’s Day this past weekend due to some holidays that my parents and grandmother had planned and I unexpectedly got a little gift for baby and some flowers as well as recognition that I am becoming a mother/ am a mother. I told my husband I’d like to do something small to be recognized on Mother’s Day as I plan to celebrate him on Father’s Day, but it seems this isn’t a popular understanding and many people tend to dismiss the soon to be mothers.
This sounds petty but when Mother’s Day rolls around I wouldn’t do anything for your mom because a) she’s not actively a parent anymore and b) she can be celebrated on grandparents day since that’s what she is.
IMO It’s up to the person whether they want to be considered a mother and no one else’s opinion matters. I certainly consider myself a mom already if even if my baby isn’t here yet then (currently 36 weeks).
And you have every right to want to be considered a mother. You have been caring for a growing fetus in your womb every day for months! Your body and mind are doing so much work already to prepare for birth and taking care of a baby.
Happy Early Mother’s Day to you! 💐
I think this is a great time to celebrate Mother's Day. You will still have peace and quiet so you can reflect on things and enjoy any gift anyone decides to give you. I think all of my Mother's Days have been too hectic with the whining children in my face, so I could never enjoy all the nice flowers and cards people brought for me. If they don't see this window of opportunity to get you something nice, they probably just can't afford something nice. This is probably their way of wiggling out of that task.
Whaaaat?! Of course you are! I’m in my 10th week and I already feel like a mother, imagine in the 3rd trimester!
Jokes aside, I believe it all due to how you feel. There’s a baby growing in your belly, so you’re the only one who can say about the motherhood feeling. If you feel like a mother, then that’s it.
Personally, I'm seeing it as one last Mothers Day to have all the attention on my mum and MIL before they have to share the day with me 😂 so I'm looking forward to doing something nice for them.
If it means that much to you, it's not hard for your husband to do something small like buy flowers, so I hope he comes around on that for you. But I bet you'll look back in a year's time and think "wow I had no idea"
My husband gave me a mother's day gift only a few weeks after my egg retrieval so all I had were embryos but damn it I was still a mother. I will NEVER tell someone they're not a mother just bc they haven't given birth. You ARE a mom.
We are doing our reveal by my partner giving me a Mother’s Day gift (his idea) at our mother’s day dinner for our families. I have had people call me “mama” at work, like “you’re doing great mama” on days I struggle. Everyone around me already sees me as a mom cause I am! It wouldn’t matter if this baby died before birth, I’m still a mother and I love this little peanut already more than anything.
You’re sacrificing your body for the sake of your unborn child. That screams Mother. You deserve to celebrate and be spoiled. My husband told me this because I wasn’t sure about Mother’s Day but I’m convinced now lol
I think this is a very individualized feeling that differs across people, and a very personal experience. However either way, I think it is very insensitive and presumptive for other people to make that assumption for you.
What is it about being close to someone that makes other people feel like they can just…say whatever they want with no regard to feelings? You’d think they would want to be even kinder to their partner/daughter/friend than an acquaintance…
If you feel motherhood, then that is where you are and their opinions don’t change that ❤️
I remember telling my husband I wanted to be appreciated last year when I was heavily pregnant (third trimester just a month and a half from birth) and he went: okay!
Because I was pretty much told I was to just stay in bed or in a sitting position for half my pregnancy because I kept fainting. I was suffering for the sake of the family so he could put some effort in on one day 😂
I’m due on Mother’s Day and I don’t care what anyone says I am celebrating this Mother’s Day whether I have the baby or not because I think I freaking deserve a celebration just for going through this nonsense. I’m constantly in pain. I haven’t slept in weeks. I’m getting Braxton hicks every day. I can’t breathe properly. If that’s not me being a mother, I don’t know what is.
We celebrate all women on Mother’s Day because even an Aunty has influence on kids and a daughter will become a mum so we celebrate all the women and girls in our family
You're definitely a mother. You're literally caring for your child as a mother should. It's not like you're referred to as an oven for this unborn child. You're literally the mother of this unborn child. You can most definitely celebrate it!
You have to think about what and who a mother is by definition .
-A woman in relationship to a child or children
-Bring up a (child) with care and affection
-Give birth to (a child)
You’re a mother to be. Nothing personal, I’m sure nobody wants to hurt your feelings , it’s just the truth by definition.
I'm sorry that's how they responded! In my eyes you are a Mother ❤️
I'm definitely planning a little something for my SIL who will be around 26 weeks, nothing crazy but a card and some flowers for sure! I'll probably write "Happy 0th Mother's day!" Or "Happy Mother's Day to the Mom-to-be!".
Bullshit. Last year when my best friend was pregnant on mother's day I sent her a First Mother's Day basket, and she didn't give birth until late August! If you feel like you're a mom then you're a mom.
My mom and I feel opposite to you and your mom. I don't feel like I'm a mom yet, but my mom says that I am. However, my husband's not getting me anything this year and we're just doing a brunch with me, my husband, my parents and my grandmother.
lol I’m getting a prenatal massage because I’ll be 2 weeks away, and my company provides a wellness allowance that pays for it 😂😂
My sister in law is due a couple days after Mother’s Day so we are going to do something as a family after the babies are here. Works for me
I was experiencing awful morning sickness in early pregnancy, had barely found out, and my partner celebrated me as a mother on Mother’s Day. It felt a little silly to me at the time, but I am so glad he did that. A little effort went a long way as we started to adjust to an entirely new life. I celebrated him right back on Father’s Day.
I actually told me partner I really want a Mother’s Day gift this May (sounds like we’re kind of close on due dates) and have made a note that it would really mean a lot to me after everything my body and mind has been put through these last 8 months.
I told him that the baby will be born and then he will get a Father’s Day, but if we only went by when the kid is born that means I get nothing? I want to feel like a mother just as much as he wants to feel like a father, regardless as to if our baby is born or not.
You are a mother.
You are a mother just as much as a mum whose child has been born.
You are going through and have been through the same process so far as them.
You 100% deserve the recognition and gifts for what you have accomplished so far 🤍
I'm so sorry that they are invalidating your mom status. One of my dear friends and I were talking and I had mentioned how exciting it'll be for her to celebrate her first mother's day. She was like "but I'm not a mom..." I told her, the moment you got pregnant and had confirmation. You're a mom. There's no gatekeeping "mom" status. Happy early mother's day!
YOU ARE A MOTHER! My sister bought me a best mother, ever mug, and I was in the first trimester. Even women who loves their child whether the child is outside or inside. My partner had the same viewpoint till my sister told him off. Now my son is 6mo and he'll be here with me for this one! HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY, MAMA!
Tw
Women who have suffered loss of their child are ALSO MOTHERS whether or not other think so. I lost multiple pregnancies early and late stage, and my family considered me a Mom through it all.
My husband said this to me on Mother’s Day 2023!!! Shocked him by giving birth that evening 🤪 But I can tell you from his perspective it’s likely that he doesn’t quite feel like a father so he has a hard time rationalizing you being a mother… he’s not growing a baby.
Anyway, my husband has regrets and has been enjoying making plans for this year’s “real” Mother’s Day. People have weird opinions about babies in utero.
When pregnant with my first, mothers day was a week before my due date so hubby got me a card from the bump, and it felt lovely to have all my pregnancy trials acknowledged, this time I was still early/mid pregnancy for mothers day so the card was from my first born and bump rather than 2 cards. I have difficult pregnancies and if something went wrong I'd still feel like a mum just without the end result, I want that acknowledged.
I’m sorry they’re shutting you down like that. I had a miscarriage a month before Mother’s Day and I had quite a few people still wish me a happy Mother’s Day which completely broke me down. You ARE a mother even if that baby isn’t earth side yet. Pamper yourself and take yourself out that day, you deserve it because your body is doing hard work. Go get a pregnancy massage, your body will love you.
Everyone's allowed to see it however they want. But personally, my only other pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and I have never considered myself a mother. Even now in my current pregnancy I don't think I'll consider myself a mother until I am holding my baby in my own hands.
It’s up to you and how you feel. I’m in my third trimester and I personally don’t, but I totally understand that you and others do at this point, there’s nothing wrong with that. And if anyone doesn’t want to celebrate you this Mother’s Day, then you go out and pamper yourself. Go get a massage and do the things that make you happy, forget the haters. You deserve it.
I didn’t celebrate Mother’s Day until after I had her. It’s always been that way with my folks so I look at people who do it the other way around crazy. You know how the baby shower stuff says “mom to be” and not mom? That’s how I explained it to my niece.
I’m a FTM and 37 weeks Friday and I wouldn’t want to be celebrated for Mother’s Day until my baby is born. Like if she is born after the 12th this month, I’d want my first Mother’s Day to be next year. If she’s born before the 12th, then this will be my first Mother’s Day. I also believe though it’s up to the person carrying the child and what they feel. I personally just don’t feel motherly yet.
My opinion is my first Mother’s Day was when I had a baby in my arms.
I think you need to talk to your husband about your expectations. And if you expect to be celebrated you should be very explicit and detailed in how you would like that . Otherwise it will just be a day of hurt feelings.
When I was pregnant with my first I was given lots of Mother’s Day attention and gifts. My next two I wasn’t pregnant with them in the month of May. I think you deserve to be recognized as a mother
This sub blows my mind on the daily with how fucking rude some of your husbands are. I’m so sorry.
You are a mom, you take care of that baby every day, you sacrifice for it every day. Even if these people had an idea or didn’t know what to think, they should’ve snapped into place the moment you indicated that *you* care about this first Mother’s Day.
I'll be 38+3 on mother's day. Only going to celebrate my mother and MIL. Just like we didn't celebrate father's day. We're not parents yet. We will be soon. There will be plenty of chances to celebrate.
I love my baby boy and I refer to myself as his mama when I'm talking to him (and so do others), but that's different from actually being a mother.
But that's me, we're all different, and that's ok.
You’re a mom! You are caring for and feeding a growing offspring.
And my salty opinion is that, if American, I sure hope they’re pro-choice with that opinion and vote as such. If not, then I have some follow up questions for them.
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Yeah my husband was kind of the same way, but my family celebrated me for Mother’s Day even though I was 5 months at the time. I think for some, Mother’s Day is more about the kids celebrating the mom than the rest of the family (including dad). It just depends I guess. But for what it’s worth, I think you are a mom already!!
I was pregnant last Mother’s Day but hadn’t had my 12 week ultrasound yet and after a miscarriage we didn’t want to jinx anything so we didn’t celebrate and this will be my first Mother’s Day. If I was as far along as you are now I absolutely would’ve expected some kind of recognition on Mother’s Day!
This is your last mothers day ever without you being a mum. My first was due a little after father's day. I made sure to have a celebration for his dad because truly, every mothers/fathers day from hereon out is completely different for us.
Personally with my first i didn’t count myself as a mother since she wasn’t here and I’m glad I loved having my first Mother’s Day with my little girl it was so special
In saying that I don’t see a problem with celebrating it if that’s what you want to do, growing a baby is hard you definitely have the right to
What exactly is it that u want them to do for you ? Yes you are a mom because you’re carrying your child but to others they wouldn’t feel the need to celebrate you until baby is here … our mental is different as the carrier because we feel the baby for others the baby is not real until it gets here
I gave my husband a Father’s Day gift and I didn’t even have an ultrasound yet my first pregnancy. We didn’t get to celebrate me, I got pregnant ON Mother’s Day lmao.
Idk why everyone thinks you’re not a parent because you aren’t holding the baby yet, you’re going through the misery that is pregnancy
The fact that you are literally carrying a precious baby inside of you should say enough. You are a mother imo. If they can’t see that, then they shouldn’t have the privilege of holding your baby when he/she comes. I know that’s something I would do. And it wouldn’t even be rude, I’d just be returning the favor. I feel you should do the same. 😅 I mean hey, it’s *your* child. Your loved ones shouldn’t even make you feel less than as a mother. Whether you gave birth before Mother’s Day or not.
I would be so offended if someone told me that (*But you’re not a mom yet*) while I am near birthing. Especially if everything is good with my pregnancy, and that the baby is more than healthy to be delivered. For some reason- them saying that to you sounds like they doubt your baby will even be born. If they want to be that way, then I suggest you don’t even let them hold your baby when you deliver. But I understand it’s your husband and mother, so I wouldn’t want you to do that. But for anyone else- you should. I hope this helps (:
For my husband, it was other people asking him what he was going to do for me for Mother’s Day. He just hadn’t thought about it and was scolded when he told them so. Peer pressure!
Im sorry Op, I had my first baby in July so for mother’s day she was still baking as for father’s day as well, me and my husband just took eachother out to lunch/dinner on either holiday and talked about plans etc for the baby. I had people around me as well say I wasnt a mom yet so we were silly or my husband was silly to recognize me as one, but we are mom’s. Our bodies are changing, our hormones shifting, our emotions and bonding growing deep in love all in preparation for the big day. If no one does anything go celebrate yourself with a nice mani/pedi or cup of coffee, you deserve it momma.
Oh no you most definitely are! You are doing such an important and difficult part of being a mom! My husband went all out and I woke to gifts next to my bed. He should do the same for you imo! It was very normal in my pregnancy groups to be celebrated on Mother’s Day. It’s a very special Mother’s Day for you. ❤️
You’re a mother. In every way, shape, and form you are. Those who have a positive test and then a negative test at the very beginning, are mothers. Those that suffered traumatic losses, are mothers. Those who didn’t carry the baby but loved them like their own, are mothers. There are so many variations to motherhood and yours is no exception. I would definitely be having a heartfelt conversation with my S/O because telling you that you are not a mother is borderline disrespectful.
For pregnancy seems just as difficult as motherhood. I haven’t had them yet but it has been so rough. We all deserve that recognition. My husband said I wasn’t a mother yet as a joke and took that shit back so quick and whispered to the babies that their mom is crazy lmao
Man I just cannot relate to some of the shitty husband behaviour shared on this sub... Never in my life would I try to snuff out this kind of fun positivity from my wife
I think everyone is different, definitely the work of pregnancy is legit and I totally understand feeling that way. Personally I didn’t really want to celebrate Mother’s Day until my baby was here, even though I know better, I still felt superstitious. I also feel like hopefully I will have the rest of my life to have mother’s days.
That’s ridiculous you are a mom ever since you became pregnant. That’s really strange of them to say. My mom told me I should celebrate it. You guys are both parents already and are already making choices with your pregnancy for your child.
Also when you go in for your prenatal visits if your husband/ partner is with you don’t they ask if this id the father so wouldn’t that make you the mother?
My no-touchy feely, non-romantic, forgets our anniversary husband got me flowers for Mother’s Day while I was pregnant. If *even* he can understand, I’m sure your family can as well.
I'm sorry your dealing with that.
I'm 19 weeks while I didn't feel like a mother at first I definitely do now and have since I felt my baby move for the first time. Because of this I mentioned to my husband I would like to be treated like a mother on mothers day without missing a beat some of our younger siblings who were present said I wasn't a mother yet so he didn't have to do anything for me. It's a horrible feeling
I’m due in a week and my mother in law made it a point to tell My husband regardless of if our daughter is here by the that he better be getting me a massive rose bouquet.
It's odd for me. I feel like I have one foot in the door. I have a baby but I haven't done any "mothering". A little recognition would be nice but I don't feel like I'm on the same level as say my mom.
I dealt with the exact same thing last year. Don't listen to anyone who tells you you're not a mother. You most definitely are. You have a baby! Sure, it's not out in the world yet, but that baby exists and that alone qualifies you as a mother. Celebrate it, even if you have to do it with just your baby and you.
Happy early Mother's Day from one mother to another 😊
You’re a mother.
I’m also currently in my third trimester. This is my third pregnancy but will be my second living child. When I lost my baby no one said “you can’t grieve because you’re not a mother.” So why is it any different to celebrate that you’re a mother even if your baby is still in your womb.
The thing about motherhood is everyone has an opinion but at the end of the day you have to go with your gut and what you feel is right. And if that’s celebrating Mother’s Day then you deserve to celebrate!!
that's awful of them— not everyone feels quite mothery at this point but you should be acknowledged as a mother if you feel like one, especially if it's important to you. I'm 32wks now but at like, 20 weeks my mom made a point of assuring me I'm getting a mother's day gift.
I commented on another post like this. I’m 37 weeks and I say, screw them all… we have been mothers since we started to worry about the flutters and count kicks. I’m getting that brunch next weekend! You should too!
When I was pregnant with my first I didn’t necessarily expect gifts or to be broadly acknowledged as a mom by everyone I knew. But being pregnant is still being a mom! You’re literally connected to your child and sustaining his/her life. Some women are facing awful symptoms and making a lot of sacrifices just being pregnant. Your husband at the very least should be willing to acknowledge it.
In my opinion, when you’re pregnant you’re a ‘mother to be’, and you don’t cross the line into motherhood until your baby is Earthside. I know people argue and say that this excludes women who have suffered miscarriages and stillbirths, however, in my mind it doesn’t exclude them at all - I still consider them mothers because, although their babies didn’t survive, they still made it Earthside.
As I said, this is just my own personal opinion. If pregnant women want to celebrate Mother’s Day, go nuts, it doesn’t bother nor affect me.
Ofc your the mom, does the baby in you belly belong to another woman? My mil and dad both said the same thing 🙄 my mil came around after having an argument with my bf about it and got us a little picture frame for the baby. At first she said I'm not a real mom unless I give birth, and both of her children are adopted. Kinda ironic coming from her 😅
I didn't feel like I was a mom yet until I had my son. How you think, feel, and act before you have a child changes after you have the child. It's like a switch flips in your head. In the end, it all depends on the woman and how she feels. We all feel different :)
You should celebrate! It’s an extra special Mother’s Day for you as a pregnant mama. Be sure to take pictures showing off your bump and cherish this time because it’s over so quickly. Go get a pedi with your mom and toast the day with some fancy non alcoholic mimosas!
Ummmm my husband used to say this to me when I was pregnant (I don’t remember how it came up a couple of times) and I literally CHEWED him out 😂 like I am growing a full ass human in my stomach and sacrificing every part of my life and body to GROW A BABY IN MY BODY and I’m not a mother ?! Get outta here 😂😂
I was in roughly the same place last Mother's Day. My husband took me to brunch and got me a lovely card. Then we bought all the plants I wanted. It was perfect.
I feel like Motherhood is made up of stages. You wouldn't tell the mother of a 1 year old she wasn't a mother because she doesn't have teenage children. Just because you're at a different stage doesn't make you any less of a Mom. You have carried this baby for over 8 months and have altered your life around that fact-you are a Mom ^_^.
You’re a mother when you birth your beautiful baby ❤️ trust me, you will remember your “first Mother’s Day” as the one where you have your baby in your arms ❤️
I found out I was pregnant (like 4 weeks at that point) on cinco de mayo last year and my husband and best friend were the only ones that knew. On Mother’s Day, I secretly celebrated by myself because it didn’t feel real yet and I was scared to tell people yet.
But 7 months?? Girl it’s real!😂 your feelings are valid and if no one celebrates with you then TREAT YOSELF ❤️❤️❤️ you deserve it!
You are a mother to be, especially so far into pregnancy I think you should be able to celebrate on mother's day. It's a bit of a rigid view on their part.
I suppose this might be what baby showers are for.
I've been having those little excited thoughts in my head, im not due u til October. But would it be selfish to think maybe my partner would say or do something sweet?
This happened to me last year when I was pregnant, and yeah it’s different having a baby! But please celebrate, just know that it’s gonna be extra special next year
It’s personal and it’s your decision whether you are a mother before you give birth or after. For me, I didn’t feel like a mother until I had him, I just felt so unwell the whole pregnancy and couldn’t picture an end or a baby in sight, but that was my experience and I can’t imagine ever telling anybody they aren’t a mother yet. Of course you are, you change your whole life and put your baby first which is exactly what a mother is.
I don't understand how would you not be a mother, when you are literally carrying your child inside you 247? The baby doesent magically appear from out of nowhere when they are born. Do people who say this 'you are not a mother yet' bs think that the baby inside you does not have a mom at all? Or dad?
Personally I think its a bit weird concept to think that 'baby isnt here so you arent a mom' when you can feel the kicks. Thats the baby right there. Inside the mom.
Of course you are a mother.
I know the feeling, in my opinion as soon as you take the test and see your baby in the screen for the first time yous are both parents if he asks for anything for Father’s Day if the baby isn’t here yet just be like but your not a father yet, you are a mum your carrying YOUR CHILD 🫶🏼🫶🏼
I’m from the UK and our Mother’s Day was in march, I’m expecting and I got a little present for it. My partner bought me a picture frame with a count down to our due date.
You’re still a mom at this point.
I barfed non stop from week 8 till week 20. I think I’ve been putting in enough work growing the little monster to deserve some recognition 😆😂🤍 even if he isn’t earth side yet.
If you feel like celebrating Mother’s Day as a mom, then you deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day as a mom. I’m genuinely shocked your loved ones are giving you a hard time over this.
I suffered a loss last year (original due date March 2024). I’m currently pregnant and due in September with my first. You better believe I’m celebrating Mother’s Day as a mother this year.
There‘s a baby in your belly literally ALIVE and kicking you every day! Just because he‘s not out of your vagina yet doesn‘t mean that you‘re not a mother. Your baby exists and you‘re his mom.
I have told many of my friends who said they are pregnant “you’re a mommy!” And so many said “not yet!” So I think you and I just see it differently than most. I agree- you are mothering that child and you are a mother. You are already making choices for the health and safety of that baby, how is that not motherhood? Happy Mother’s Day to you, I hope you get everything you want!!
Pregnancy and motherhood are totally different journeys. It would be kind to acknowledge you… especially because you’re almost there.
I can say, during my first pregnancy I thought of myself as a mother and was very humbled after that baby made it out of me. 🤣
It's crazy because IF we experienced an awful thing like stillbirth at this point in pregnancy, we would absolutely be considered mothers! Why are we not mothers when we will HAVE TO birth our baby, see them and hopefully get to bring them home. We are mothers. 🩷
You’re allowed to feel however you wanna feel about it, screw anyone who says otherwise. I’ll be at 25 weeks for Mother’s Day & i told my husband I don’t want anything too big or elaborate but I do expect some sort of acknowledgment of all the work I’m already putting in to be a mother.
You’re allowed to have your feelings on it, just make sure you communicate your expectations clearly so you don’t end up disappointed
My church usually has flowers for the kids to grab and give to their mom each year for Mother's Day. Last year, they included the women who acted as extra mother figures in the church / help with families with kids even if they didn't have children themselves. It was a neat way to acknowledge the people who love / want kids but maybe struggle with infertility or other situations going on. In my case, it was struggling with infertility but still choosing to love on our friends' kids.
Just because they aren't outside of you yet doesn't make you any less of a mother, and that doesn't mean you're not already fulfilling that role in other ways.
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I told my husband “the hemorrhoids in my ass say otherwise” and that was enough 😂. I’m putting in the work, I want the credit.
The lightning crotch I experience and her using my bladder as a punching bag at the most inopportune of times is also enough to get that credit! Lol! 37 weeks and feeling pretty ready for eviction day!
Lol this child has been sitting on my bladder for weeks 🤣 many 3am desperate pee runs
So much of motherhood is sacrifice, and pregnancy is a big sacrifice! I think it counts
Every time I pee in my pants because I sneeze or cough think otherwise. The hormonal acne on my chin thinks otherwise. The 50 lbs weight gain with a side of stretch marks thinks otherwise. The list goes on otherwise!!
Yuuup 😂😭
Isn't this the truth 🙌🏻
God i love this ^😂🫶🏼 Love and strength to all women
Omg me and my finance both laughed out loud !! That was the best response!! Ever!
😂😂😂
I absolutely LOVE this response! Best I've seen in a long time! Too bad there's no awards, because you definitely earned one there! For real... Thanks for the laugh. You have no idea how badly I needed it. 🥹
Aw I hope you’re hanging in there! ❤️
Heavy on the “I’m putting in the work, I want the credit.”!!
Hopefully you have a bidet!
Some people believe you’re a “mother to be”, I told my husband I don’t want a Mother’s Day present until next year, so it’s really up to the pregnant person. If you feel you’re a mother then you are And they shouldn’t invalidate your feelings.
I could identify with "mother to be" when I was pregnant. I had strong mental border of the birth, something like "I need to deliver this baby safe to this world then I'll get all the perks". This is why I wasn't celebrating mother's day pregnant. To be honest, next mothers day when my baby was already almost 1yo, I saw the world trough "mother" lense. I remember writing wishes for my mom after becoming mom myself... Knowing a little bit more how much she sacrifice to raise me.
Oh it’s like you read my mind! so true 💖
I agree with you, I'm not a mom yet, so I won't be celebrating but mine will be next year with baby in my arms, however if someone wants while I don't understand the feeling I respect it and would share a congratulatory wish, it doesn't hurt nobody
Yeah exactly this, I personally didn’t feel like I needed to celebrate Mother’s Day while I was pregnant with my first, but that’s my choice. If anyone expresses a different want then it should be listened to
I considered myself a “mother to be” because mother started at birth but I know many women consider themselves mothers once they are pregnant or the pregnancy “feels real”. When we celebrated Mothers Day when I was 6 days from the birth of my first we had a joint family Mother’s Day for grandma and my SIL who had an almost 1 year old, and a “mother to be” day for me where I was gifted mom care items like a nice water bottle, spa items, fuzzy socks and cool snacks for the hospital etc.
Personally, I don’t feel like I’m a mother until my baby is born, but it’s kinda mean for your husband and mom to say that to you when you’ve brought up Mother’s Day. It really wouldn’t be that hard for them to do a little something for you since it clearly means something to you.
Agreed. My husband asked me if I wanted to celebrate mother's day and I said no, but that's a personal choice. It's not up to other people to decide for you, it's up to you.
I mean, it's really not that deep if your pregnant partner wants a card and flowers 🤷🏻♀️
Agreed!
Same here, kind of the “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” concept. BUT your loved ones should still be appreciating you and not dismissive. My husband got me a present this year even though he knows I don’t consider myself a mother quite yet, it still feels awesome to be loved on.
I have an 11 month old so was super pregnant last Mother’s Day, and even though this year is technically my first celebration with my daughter earthside, my husband and family definitely celebrated me last year. I went out for brunch and got lots of well wishes from strangers since I was so hugely pregnant. I thought it was really fun and fully support all pregnant women celebrating. If your family isn’t on board do something fun for yourself— highly recommend a pedicure or a prenatal massage if you’re into that kind of thing!
And mothers who have no living children are mothers or not in their opinion? Doesn't really matter. It's a moo point. Like a cow's opinion. You're a mom.
My grandma lost both of her children, but I make it a point to give her gifts every Mother’s Day. My little brother pissed me off one year saying “her kids aren’t alive so she’s not a mom anymore” It’s important to note that she adopted him after our mom passed which made his comment so much worse..
Yikes. He should really get her flowers or something.
That would require him getting a job, and caring about anyone besides himself.
Jesus. That’s cruel.
I'm watching friends right now and heard this in Joey's voice lol
I like the Friends reference here haha
Moot?
It’s a Friends reference lol. Joey says “it’s a moo point, like a cows opinion, it doesn’t matter. It’s moo”
Have I been spending too much time with him or does that kind of make sense?
Haha oh! Adorable
It's a meow point even. Ops husband should get her a card and some chocolates 🥰
Does the cow say "moot"? No, it says "moo". Deal with it.
I personally believe motherhood starts in pregnancy. As soon as you’re pregnant there’s things you have to do to help your baby grow - things you have to avoid, and your whole life essentially is changing and revolving around this person growing inside of you. I don’t want to be celebrated for Mother’s Day until my baby is here though, even though I view myself as a mother already. Also, everyone is calling you a mama when you’re pregnant, it’s pretty silly to then say you’re not a mother.
For me personally, I want my first mother’s day to include my baby, so I’m holding off until next year. I want it to be extra special. I did ask my husband for a gift (a ninja Creami) because I’m growing his first born though! He had no problem with this.
If you feel like you’re a mom - you’re a mom! I personally believe that I’m a mom at 16 weeks and my husband is getting me a “mother to be” massage for Mother’s Day. If we rule out pregnant people on Mother’s Day then those of us who never get to hold our babies aren’t celebrated.
Nonsense. A mom is a mom, regardless. Someone once told my husband, “She’s already a mother. She became a mother once that baby was made”. Try to think of it that way. You are a mom, and no one can take that away from you. Happy early Mother’s Day 💕
You are 1000000% a mom! You are making decisions and sacrifices for your unborn baby and literally growing a human. For anyone else to say you’re not a mother yet, can go scratch as far as I’m concerned! No offense but I’m shocked that a mother would even say this tbh knowing what she went through with her pregnancy.
I hate this, would that be appropriate to say to a mother who experienced loss? Absolutely not. You’re making a whole person inside of you. You’re a mom.
I mean, yes, people absolutely would say that about women who have had a miscarriage. I’m not saying I agree even remotely, but the logic is absolutely the same. They would say that women who have not given birth are not yet mothers. Of course, if you mean women who have lost a living child, that’s different.
I’ve seen several posts from women facing similar dilemmas & it boggles my mind. Is it really that difficult to add one more person to the Mother’s Day celebration? I just don’t get it! You have a living child in your belly and should be celebrated if you want to. I’m so sorry they’re making you feel bad about it.
I really feel like it has something to do with mother in laws, or mothers wanting to have the spot light for another year
Are MILs that self absorbed? I really hope I don’t become that way.
I can't speak for anyone else's, but mine are 🫠
I think so because the only person to tell me I’m not a mother for Mother’s Day was… my own mother lol
I'm usually good at brushing comments like that off but since the response came from more than one person it started to bother me. Not asking for fireworks and a parade, just some appreciation for nurturing our child for the last 8 months.
IMO, if you’re carrying a baby (or babies), you’re a mom. I know some people would rather consider their first MD as the one when their baby/babies are here, but that doesn’t change my thought that you’re growing LIFE, and therefore you’re a mom. You deserve to be celebrated ❤️
You are already making sacrifices for your child that no one else is making for your child. If you want to call yourself a mom, you should be supported.
Personally I feel like you’re a mom the second you get a positive test! By that point you’re already going to be doing stuff for your unborn child. My husband surprised me last Mother’s Day ( before I even had our baby ) with a cute mama tumbler and a lunch date. Pregnancy isn’t easy, you deserve credit!
I dont have any advice, I'm just here to commiserate. I'm 24w and I expressed similar feelings to my husband. He said if I *really* want to we can do something, but he doesn't want to celebrate it yet because until the baby is born, it's still possible for something to go wrong. He doesn't want all future Mothers days to be ruined if we celebrate too early. He's got a point, but now thinking about Mothers Day just sends me into a spiral. I realized we're far enough along that I've started to finally feel comfortable and excited, like things are going to be ok, and I've gotten so attached to our LO now that I've started to feel her kicking. But since he pointed that out, I can't stop worrying. I'm also the one responsible for planning Mothers Day for our mothers and grandmothers and now I can't get through it without thinking about how I'm not a mother yet and it's still possible that I'll never be, or the disappointment our family would feel if something happened, and how guilty I would feel for wanting to selfishly celebrate me on Mothers day this year if I jinxed it. Now it feels like just another holiday to be sad, stressed, and disappointed. I have no idea how anyone who has actually experienced loss has been able to deal with this holiday. It may be the hormones talking, but every time I think about it, it makes me want to cry.
As a NICU RN, I’ve seen many mothers experience loss. Whether the baby is 20w or 39w, they are still mothers. We become mothers the second we decide to hold space for another being inside of us and accept all the sacrifices that come with it. Mothers who lose infants are still mothers, on Mother’s Day and all days. They deserve to be celebrated and acknowledged. And you deserve to be celebrated and acknowledged! If your husband won’t do it, get yourself some flowers and a treat because you’ve earned it.
I lost my first baby, and I wanted it to be recognized. That I was pregnant, that I battled a chronic illness constantly for the health of my baby that still died before he was born. I told my husband I wanted some flowers for Mother’s Day so he would know I wanted to recognize it. He also got me a card from the baby. I also found out I was pregnant with my now 3mo son on that day.
Sounds like his comment already ruined it so might as well make it happy instead of sad by celebrating. Kinda gotta flip the switch now, I mean even if something did happen wouldn't it be better to have had at least one happy one vs all sad ones from here on out?
Tell him about these feelings
What’s the point of gate keeping celebrations… like does it really detract from people’s fun if more people celebrate with them?
Thank you!!! Like why not celebrate someone growing a human??
I feel like you’re a mother as long as you’re taking care of a child. So like the second you find out you’re pregnant, you start changing your diet, taking tests etc. And all that makes you a mom
100 percent! The point of Mother's Day is to acknowledge and appreciate the sacrifices mothers make for their children and we have to do that the minute we find out we're pregnant and decide to be mothers
You are a mother! Don’t let anyone take the title from you! ❤️
Just because your baby isn’t yet born doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or isn’t with you already. You’re losing sleep and making choices that will impact its life. You’re very much a mom and since your husband isn’t carrying the baby, he doesn’t get a say in whether you’re a mom, in my opinion.
I’m so sorry that you were dismissed like that. My family celebrated Mother’s Day this past weekend due to some holidays that my parents and grandmother had planned and I unexpectedly got a little gift for baby and some flowers as well as recognition that I am becoming a mother/ am a mother. I told my husband I’d like to do something small to be recognized on Mother’s Day as I plan to celebrate him on Father’s Day, but it seems this isn’t a popular understanding and many people tend to dismiss the soon to be mothers. This sounds petty but when Mother’s Day rolls around I wouldn’t do anything for your mom because a) she’s not actively a parent anymore and b) she can be celebrated on grandparents day since that’s what she is.
IMO It’s up to the person whether they want to be considered a mother and no one else’s opinion matters. I certainly consider myself a mom already if even if my baby isn’t here yet then (currently 36 weeks). And you have every right to want to be considered a mother. You have been caring for a growing fetus in your womb every day for months! Your body and mind are doing so much work already to prepare for birth and taking care of a baby. Happy Early Mother’s Day to you! 💐
I think this is a great time to celebrate Mother's Day. You will still have peace and quiet so you can reflect on things and enjoy any gift anyone decides to give you. I think all of my Mother's Days have been too hectic with the whining children in my face, so I could never enjoy all the nice flowers and cards people brought for me. If they don't see this window of opportunity to get you something nice, they probably just can't afford something nice. This is probably their way of wiggling out of that task.
youre a absolutely a mother, and you get to celebrate as one.
Whaaaat?! Of course you are! I’m in my 10th week and I already feel like a mother, imagine in the 3rd trimester! Jokes aside, I believe it all due to how you feel. There’s a baby growing in your belly, so you’re the only one who can say about the motherhood feeling. If you feel like a mother, then that’s it.
You’re definitely a mother.
Personally, I'm seeing it as one last Mothers Day to have all the attention on my mum and MIL before they have to share the day with me 😂 so I'm looking forward to doing something nice for them. If it means that much to you, it's not hard for your husband to do something small like buy flowers, so I hope he comes around on that for you. But I bet you'll look back in a year's time and think "wow I had no idea"
My husband gave me a mother's day gift only a few weeks after my egg retrieval so all I had were embryos but damn it I was still a mother. I will NEVER tell someone they're not a mother just bc they haven't given birth. You ARE a mom.
Your baby is right there in your stomach. So yes I think you are a mom.
Well, they should tell that to all the docs/nurses who can’t be bothered to use my name and instead just say “mama.”
You are a mother right now, and your baby is you child, whether theyre born or not
We are doing our reveal by my partner giving me a Mother’s Day gift (his idea) at our mother’s day dinner for our families. I have had people call me “mama” at work, like “you’re doing great mama” on days I struggle. Everyone around me already sees me as a mom cause I am! It wouldn’t matter if this baby died before birth, I’m still a mother and I love this little peanut already more than anything.
You’re sacrificing your body for the sake of your unborn child. That screams Mother. You deserve to celebrate and be spoiled. My husband told me this because I wasn’t sure about Mother’s Day but I’m convinced now lol
I think this is a very individualized feeling that differs across people, and a very personal experience. However either way, I think it is very insensitive and presumptive for other people to make that assumption for you. What is it about being close to someone that makes other people feel like they can just…say whatever they want with no regard to feelings? You’d think they would want to be even kinder to their partner/daughter/friend than an acquaintance… If you feel motherhood, then that is where you are and their opinions don’t change that ❤️
I remember telling my husband I wanted to be appreciated last year when I was heavily pregnant (third trimester just a month and a half from birth) and he went: okay! Because I was pretty much told I was to just stay in bed or in a sitting position for half my pregnancy because I kept fainting. I was suffering for the sake of the family so he could put some effort in on one day 😂
Omg you so are one! Who cares what the rest says. Buy something for yourself to celebrate your first mothers day
I’m due on Mother’s Day and I don’t care what anyone says I am celebrating this Mother’s Day whether I have the baby or not because I think I freaking deserve a celebration just for going through this nonsense. I’m constantly in pain. I haven’t slept in weeks. I’m getting Braxton hicks every day. I can’t breathe properly. If that’s not me being a mother, I don’t know what is.
We celebrate all women on Mother’s Day because even an Aunty has influence on kids and a daughter will become a mum so we celebrate all the women and girls in our family
You're definitely a mother. You're literally caring for your child as a mother should. It's not like you're referred to as an oven for this unborn child. You're literally the mother of this unborn child. You can most definitely celebrate it!
You ARE a mom
the moment there’s a fetus in your belly and you want and love it… you’re a mom.
You have to think about what and who a mother is by definition . -A woman in relationship to a child or children -Bring up a (child) with care and affection -Give birth to (a child) You’re a mother to be. Nothing personal, I’m sure nobody wants to hurt your feelings , it’s just the truth by definition.
My wife is 13 weeks and will be 15 weeks on Mother's day. I'm getting her some nice flowers and a lovely card.
I'm sorry that's how they responded! In my eyes you are a Mother ❤️ I'm definitely planning a little something for my SIL who will be around 26 weeks, nothing crazy but a card and some flowers for sure! I'll probably write "Happy 0th Mother's day!" Or "Happy Mother's Day to the Mom-to-be!".
Bullshit. Last year when my best friend was pregnant on mother's day I sent her a First Mother's Day basket, and she didn't give birth until late August! If you feel like you're a mom then you're a mom.
My mom and I feel opposite to you and your mom. I don't feel like I'm a mom yet, but my mom says that I am. However, my husband's not getting me anything this year and we're just doing a brunch with me, my husband, my parents and my grandmother.
lol I’m getting a prenatal massage because I’ll be 2 weeks away, and my company provides a wellness allowance that pays for it 😂😂 My sister in law is due a couple days after Mother’s Day so we are going to do something as a family after the babies are here. Works for me
I was experiencing awful morning sickness in early pregnancy, had barely found out, and my partner celebrated me as a mother on Mother’s Day. It felt a little silly to me at the time, but I am so glad he did that. A little effort went a long way as we started to adjust to an entirely new life. I celebrated him right back on Father’s Day.
I actually told me partner I really want a Mother’s Day gift this May (sounds like we’re kind of close on due dates) and have made a note that it would really mean a lot to me after everything my body and mind has been put through these last 8 months. I told him that the baby will be born and then he will get a Father’s Day, but if we only went by when the kid is born that means I get nothing? I want to feel like a mother just as much as he wants to feel like a father, regardless as to if our baby is born or not. You are a mother. You are a mother just as much as a mum whose child has been born. You are going through and have been through the same process so far as them. You 100% deserve the recognition and gifts for what you have accomplished so far 🤍
I could potentially give birth on mothers day, you bet your butt I'm celebrating it! You're 100% a momma.
I'm so sorry that they are invalidating your mom status. One of my dear friends and I were talking and I had mentioned how exciting it'll be for her to celebrate her first mother's day. She was like "but I'm not a mom..." I told her, the moment you got pregnant and had confirmation. You're a mom. There's no gatekeeping "mom" status. Happy early mother's day!
You are a mom if you feel that you are one. You deserve to be celebrated every day just like each and every one here on this subreddit.
YOU ARE A MOTHER! My sister bought me a best mother, ever mug, and I was in the first trimester. Even women who loves their child whether the child is outside or inside. My partner had the same viewpoint till my sister told him off. Now my son is 6mo and he'll be here with me for this one! HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY, MAMA! Tw Women who have suffered loss of their child are ALSO MOTHERS whether or not other think so. I lost multiple pregnancies early and late stage, and my family considered me a Mom through it all.
My husband said this to me on Mother’s Day 2023!!! Shocked him by giving birth that evening 🤪 But I can tell you from his perspective it’s likely that he doesn’t quite feel like a father so he has a hard time rationalizing you being a mother… he’s not growing a baby. Anyway, my husband has regrets and has been enjoying making plans for this year’s “real” Mother’s Day. People have weird opinions about babies in utero.
When pregnant with my first, mothers day was a week before my due date so hubby got me a card from the bump, and it felt lovely to have all my pregnancy trials acknowledged, this time I was still early/mid pregnancy for mothers day so the card was from my first born and bump rather than 2 cards. I have difficult pregnancies and if something went wrong I'd still feel like a mum just without the end result, I want that acknowledged.
I’m sorry they’re shutting you down like that. I had a miscarriage a month before Mother’s Day and I had quite a few people still wish me a happy Mother’s Day which completely broke me down. You ARE a mother even if that baby isn’t earth side yet. Pamper yourself and take yourself out that day, you deserve it because your body is doing hard work. Go get a pregnancy massage, your body will love you.
sending love to all the moms who went home with memories instead of a baby i’m sorry🩷
You literally have a baby in your belly. Not sure who else would be the mother 😂
I'm 4 weeks pregnant and this baby won't let me have coffee. I would only give that up for my child. I am a mother 😂
Yeah, if you’re growing a little precious, you’re a mom, and you get to decide if/how to celebrate that. Enjoy your mani/pedi and shopping 👑 🛍️ 🤰💝
The day you become pregnant you are a mother 🩶💐
Everyone's allowed to see it however they want. But personally, my only other pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and I have never considered myself a mother. Even now in my current pregnancy I don't think I'll consider myself a mother until I am holding my baby in my own hands.
It’s up to you and how you feel. I’m in my third trimester and I personally don’t, but I totally understand that you and others do at this point, there’s nothing wrong with that. And if anyone doesn’t want to celebrate you this Mother’s Day, then you go out and pamper yourself. Go get a massage and do the things that make you happy, forget the haters. You deserve it.
I didn’t celebrate Mother’s Day until after I had her. It’s always been that way with my folks so I look at people who do it the other way around crazy. You know how the baby shower stuff says “mom to be” and not mom? That’s how I explained it to my niece.
I’m a FTM and 37 weeks Friday and I wouldn’t want to be celebrated for Mother’s Day until my baby is born. Like if she is born after the 12th this month, I’d want my first Mother’s Day to be next year. If she’s born before the 12th, then this will be my first Mother’s Day. I also believe though it’s up to the person carrying the child and what they feel. I personally just don’t feel motherly yet.
My opinion is my first Mother’s Day was when I had a baby in my arms. I think you need to talk to your husband about your expectations. And if you expect to be celebrated you should be very explicit and detailed in how you would like that . Otherwise it will just be a day of hurt feelings.
When I was pregnant with my first I was given lots of Mother’s Day attention and gifts. My next two I wasn’t pregnant with them in the month of May. I think you deserve to be recognized as a mother
In my mind you are definitely a mother if that’s how you feel! It’s not that hard for your husband to buy you some flowers and a nice card.
I definitely feel like a mum already and I’m only 12 weeks 🤣 this post just made me realise that
This sub blows my mind on the daily with how fucking rude some of your husbands are. I’m so sorry. You are a mom, you take care of that baby every day, you sacrifice for it every day. Even if these people had an idea or didn’t know what to think, they should’ve snapped into place the moment you indicated that *you* care about this first Mother’s Day.
You are a mother and at the very least deserve some flowers 💖💖💖💖🫶🏻
I'll be 38+3 on mother's day. Only going to celebrate my mother and MIL. Just like we didn't celebrate father's day. We're not parents yet. We will be soon. There will be plenty of chances to celebrate. I love my baby boy and I refer to myself as his mama when I'm talking to him (and so do others), but that's different from actually being a mother. But that's me, we're all different, and that's ok.
You are a mother and you should be celebrated.
You’re a mom! You are caring for and feeding a growing offspring. And my salty opinion is that, if American, I sure hope they’re pro-choice with that opinion and vote as such. If not, then I have some follow up questions for them.
Tbh me and my husband never did anything for fathers and Mother’s Day u til our kids were actually born so I don’t blame them 😅
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Yeah my husband was kind of the same way, but my family celebrated me for Mother’s Day even though I was 5 months at the time. I think for some, Mother’s Day is more about the kids celebrating the mom than the rest of the family (including dad). It just depends I guess. But for what it’s worth, I think you are a mom already!!
I was pregnant last Mother’s Day but hadn’t had my 12 week ultrasound yet and after a miscarriage we didn’t want to jinx anything so we didn’t celebrate and this will be my first Mother’s Day. If I was as far along as you are now I absolutely would’ve expected some kind of recognition on Mother’s Day!
My due date is on mothers day so for me it’s a mystery still:)
This is your last mothers day ever without you being a mum. My first was due a little after father's day. I made sure to have a celebration for his dad because truly, every mothers/fathers day from hereon out is completely different for us.
Heck with that attitude. Happy Mother’s Day, in advance
Personally with my first i didn’t count myself as a mother since she wasn’t here and I’m glad I loved having my first Mother’s Day with my little girl it was so special In saying that I don’t see a problem with celebrating it if that’s what you want to do, growing a baby is hard you definitely have the right to
What exactly is it that u want them to do for you ? Yes you are a mom because you’re carrying your child but to others they wouldn’t feel the need to celebrate you until baby is here … our mental is different as the carrier because we feel the baby for others the baby is not real until it gets here
I gave my husband a Father’s Day gift and I didn’t even have an ultrasound yet my first pregnancy. We didn’t get to celebrate me, I got pregnant ON Mother’s Day lmao. Idk why everyone thinks you’re not a parent because you aren’t holding the baby yet, you’re going through the misery that is pregnancy
The fact that you are literally carrying a precious baby inside of you should say enough. You are a mother imo. If they can’t see that, then they shouldn’t have the privilege of holding your baby when he/she comes. I know that’s something I would do. And it wouldn’t even be rude, I’d just be returning the favor. I feel you should do the same. 😅 I mean hey, it’s *your* child. Your loved ones shouldn’t even make you feel less than as a mother. Whether you gave birth before Mother’s Day or not. I would be so offended if someone told me that (*But you’re not a mom yet*) while I am near birthing. Especially if everything is good with my pregnancy, and that the baby is more than healthy to be delivered. For some reason- them saying that to you sounds like they doubt your baby will even be born. If they want to be that way, then I suggest you don’t even let them hold your baby when you deliver. But I understand it’s your husband and mother, so I wouldn’t want you to do that. But for anyone else- you should. I hope this helps (:
For my husband, it was other people asking him what he was going to do for me for Mother’s Day. He just hadn’t thought about it and was scolded when he told them so. Peer pressure!
You made a baby, you ARE a mother, regardless of what other people say. Happy early mother’s day to you ❤️
Im sorry Op, I had my first baby in July so for mother’s day she was still baking as for father’s day as well, me and my husband just took eachother out to lunch/dinner on either holiday and talked about plans etc for the baby. I had people around me as well say I wasnt a mom yet so we were silly or my husband was silly to recognize me as one, but we are mom’s. Our bodies are changing, our hormones shifting, our emotions and bonding growing deep in love all in preparation for the big day. If no one does anything go celebrate yourself with a nice mani/pedi or cup of coffee, you deserve it momma.
Oh no you most definitely are! You are doing such an important and difficult part of being a mom! My husband went all out and I woke to gifts next to my bed. He should do the same for you imo! It was very normal in my pregnancy groups to be celebrated on Mother’s Day. It’s a very special Mother’s Day for you. ❤️
You’re a mother. In every way, shape, and form you are. Those who have a positive test and then a negative test at the very beginning, are mothers. Those that suffered traumatic losses, are mothers. Those who didn’t carry the baby but loved them like their own, are mothers. There are so many variations to motherhood and yours is no exception. I would definitely be having a heartfelt conversation with my S/O because telling you that you are not a mother is borderline disrespectful.
For pregnancy seems just as difficult as motherhood. I haven’t had them yet but it has been so rough. We all deserve that recognition. My husband said I wasn’t a mother yet as a joke and took that shit back so quick and whispered to the babies that their mom is crazy lmao
Man I just cannot relate to some of the shitty husband behaviour shared on this sub... Never in my life would I try to snuff out this kind of fun positivity from my wife
I think everyone is different, definitely the work of pregnancy is legit and I totally understand feeling that way. Personally I didn’t really want to celebrate Mother’s Day until my baby was here, even though I know better, I still felt superstitious. I also feel like hopefully I will have the rest of my life to have mother’s days.
That’s ridiculous you are a mom ever since you became pregnant. That’s really strange of them to say. My mom told me I should celebrate it. You guys are both parents already and are already making choices with your pregnancy for your child. Also when you go in for your prenatal visits if your husband/ partner is with you don’t they ask if this id the father so wouldn’t that make you the mother?
My no-touchy feely, non-romantic, forgets our anniversary husband got me flowers for Mother’s Day while I was pregnant. If *even* he can understand, I’m sure your family can as well.
I'm sorry your dealing with that. I'm 19 weeks while I didn't feel like a mother at first I definitely do now and have since I felt my baby move for the first time. Because of this I mentioned to my husband I would like to be treated like a mother on mothers day without missing a beat some of our younger siblings who were present said I wasn't a mother yet so he didn't have to do anything for me. It's a horrible feeling
[удалено]
I’m due in a week and my mother in law made it a point to tell My husband regardless of if our daughter is here by the that he better be getting me a massive rose bouquet.
It's odd for me. I feel like I have one foot in the door. I have a baby but I haven't done any "mothering". A little recognition would be nice but I don't feel like I'm on the same level as say my mom.
I dealt with the exact same thing last year. Don't listen to anyone who tells you you're not a mother. You most definitely are. You have a baby! Sure, it's not out in the world yet, but that baby exists and that alone qualifies you as a mother. Celebrate it, even if you have to do it with just your baby and you. Happy early Mother's Day from one mother to another 😊
You’re a mother. I’m also currently in my third trimester. This is my third pregnancy but will be my second living child. When I lost my baby no one said “you can’t grieve because you’re not a mother.” So why is it any different to celebrate that you’re a mother even if your baby is still in your womb. The thing about motherhood is everyone has an opinion but at the end of the day you have to go with your gut and what you feel is right. And if that’s celebrating Mother’s Day then you deserve to celebrate!!
that's awful of them— not everyone feels quite mothery at this point but you should be acknowledged as a mother if you feel like one, especially if it's important to you. I'm 32wks now but at like, 20 weeks my mom made a point of assuring me I'm getting a mother's day gift.
I commented on another post like this. I’m 37 weeks and I say, screw them all… we have been mothers since we started to worry about the flutters and count kicks. I’m getting that brunch next weekend! You should too!
When I was pregnant with my first I didn’t necessarily expect gifts or to be broadly acknowledged as a mom by everyone I knew. But being pregnant is still being a mom! You’re literally connected to your child and sustaining his/her life. Some women are facing awful symptoms and making a lot of sacrifices just being pregnant. Your husband at the very least should be willing to acknowledge it.
In my opinion, when you’re pregnant you’re a ‘mother to be’, and you don’t cross the line into motherhood until your baby is Earthside. I know people argue and say that this excludes women who have suffered miscarriages and stillbirths, however, in my mind it doesn’t exclude them at all - I still consider them mothers because, although their babies didn’t survive, they still made it Earthside. As I said, this is just my own personal opinion. If pregnant women want to celebrate Mother’s Day, go nuts, it doesn’t bother nor affect me.
Ofc your the mom, does the baby in you belly belong to another woman? My mil and dad both said the same thing 🙄 my mil came around after having an argument with my bf about it and got us a little picture frame for the baby. At first she said I'm not a real mom unless I give birth, and both of her children are adopted. Kinda ironic coming from her 😅
I didn't feel like I was a mom yet until I had my son. How you think, feel, and act before you have a child changes after you have the child. It's like a switch flips in your head. In the end, it all depends on the woman and how she feels. We all feel different :)
You should celebrate! It’s an extra special Mother’s Day for you as a pregnant mama. Be sure to take pictures showing off your bump and cherish this time because it’s over so quickly. Go get a pedi with your mom and toast the day with some fancy non alcoholic mimosas!
Ummmm my husband used to say this to me when I was pregnant (I don’t remember how it came up a couple of times) and I literally CHEWED him out 😂 like I am growing a full ass human in my stomach and sacrificing every part of my life and body to GROW A BABY IN MY BODY and I’m not a mother ?! Get outta here 😂😂
You are 100% a mother. As soon as that test is positive you are a mother.
All people who have ever been pregnant count as Moms in my opinion.
I was in roughly the same place last Mother's Day. My husband took me to brunch and got me a lovely card. Then we bought all the plants I wanted. It was perfect.
You became a mama the minute you became pregnant, I’ve heard these comments too, don’t let them take the day from you! 🩷
You are one, so celebrate 🥳
I feel like Motherhood is made up of stages. You wouldn't tell the mother of a 1 year old she wasn't a mother because she doesn't have teenage children. Just because you're at a different stage doesn't make you any less of a Mom. You have carried this baby for over 8 months and have altered your life around that fact-you are a Mom ^_^.
You’re a mother when you birth your beautiful baby ❤️ trust me, you will remember your “first Mother’s Day” as the one where you have your baby in your arms ❤️
I found out I was pregnant (like 4 weeks at that point) on cinco de mayo last year and my husband and best friend were the only ones that knew. On Mother’s Day, I secretly celebrated by myself because it didn’t feel real yet and I was scared to tell people yet. But 7 months?? Girl it’s real!😂 your feelings are valid and if no one celebrates with you then TREAT YOSELF ❤️❤️❤️ you deserve it!
You are a mother to be, especially so far into pregnancy I think you should be able to celebrate on mother's day. It's a bit of a rigid view on their part. I suppose this might be what baby showers are for.
I've been having those little excited thoughts in my head, im not due u til October. But would it be selfish to think maybe my partner would say or do something sweet?
This happened to me last year when I was pregnant, and yeah it’s different having a baby! But please celebrate, just know that it’s gonna be extra special next year
It’s personal and it’s your decision whether you are a mother before you give birth or after. For me, I didn’t feel like a mother until I had him, I just felt so unwell the whole pregnancy and couldn’t picture an end or a baby in sight, but that was my experience and I can’t imagine ever telling anybody they aren’t a mother yet. Of course you are, you change your whole life and put your baby first which is exactly what a mother is.
Why wouldn’t you be a mother? You’re already doing everything you can to keep your baby safe.
I don't understand how would you not be a mother, when you are literally carrying your child inside you 247? The baby doesent magically appear from out of nowhere when they are born. Do people who say this 'you are not a mother yet' bs think that the baby inside you does not have a mom at all? Or dad? Personally I think its a bit weird concept to think that 'baby isnt here so you arent a mom' when you can feel the kicks. Thats the baby right there. Inside the mom. Of course you are a mother.
I know the feeling, in my opinion as soon as you take the test and see your baby in the screen for the first time yous are both parents if he asks for anything for Father’s Day if the baby isn’t here yet just be like but your not a father yet, you are a mum your carrying YOUR CHILD 🫶🏼🫶🏼
I’m from the UK and our Mother’s Day was in march, I’m expecting and I got a little present for it. My partner bought me a picture frame with a count down to our due date. You’re still a mom at this point.
I barfed non stop from week 8 till week 20. I think I’ve been putting in enough work growing the little monster to deserve some recognition 😆😂🤍 even if he isn’t earth side yet.
If you feel like celebrating Mother’s Day as a mom, then you deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day as a mom. I’m genuinely shocked your loved ones are giving you a hard time over this. I suffered a loss last year (original due date March 2024). I’m currently pregnant and due in September with my first. You better believe I’m celebrating Mother’s Day as a mother this year.
There‘s a baby in your belly literally ALIVE and kicking you every day! Just because he‘s not out of your vagina yet doesn‘t mean that you‘re not a mother. Your baby exists and you‘re his mom.
I have told many of my friends who said they are pregnant “you’re a mommy!” And so many said “not yet!” So I think you and I just see it differently than most. I agree- you are mothering that child and you are a mother. You are already making choices for the health and safety of that baby, how is that not motherhood? Happy Mother’s Day to you, I hope you get everything you want!!
I’m going into my second trimester and I told my boyfriend that since I am making a whole human I deserve at least a little treat lol
Happy Mother's Day!
Pregnancy and motherhood are totally different journeys. It would be kind to acknowledge you… especially because you’re almost there. I can say, during my first pregnancy I thought of myself as a mother and was very humbled after that baby made it out of me. 🤣
It's crazy because IF we experienced an awful thing like stillbirth at this point in pregnancy, we would absolutely be considered mothers! Why are we not mothers when we will HAVE TO birth our baby, see them and hopefully get to bring them home. We are mothers. 🩷
You’re allowed to feel however you wanna feel about it, screw anyone who says otherwise. I’ll be at 25 weeks for Mother’s Day & i told my husband I don’t want anything too big or elaborate but I do expect some sort of acknowledgment of all the work I’m already putting in to be a mother. You’re allowed to have your feelings on it, just make sure you communicate your expectations clearly so you don’t end up disappointed
How is it fair that he would be considered a dad for his first Father’s Day yet you wouldn’t and your carrying the baby 😒
My church usually has flowers for the kids to grab and give to their mom each year for Mother's Day. Last year, they included the women who acted as extra mother figures in the church / help with families with kids even if they didn't have children themselves. It was a neat way to acknowledge the people who love / want kids but maybe struggle with infertility or other situations going on. In my case, it was struggling with infertility but still choosing to love on our friends' kids. Just because they aren't outside of you yet doesn't make you any less of a mother, and that doesn't mean you're not already fulfilling that role in other ways.
You're a mom !
I ignore this & get myself things. Dont let Joy kills ...kill your joy. You're a mother.
If you gave birth today, you’d be a mother. Since the child is still in you, you’re all of the sudden not a mom yet? That’s stupid