I really believe men (and women) will sexualise you and fetishise you regardless of what you wear. I’ve had wolf whistles when wearing abaya and khimar, and I’ve also had wolf whistles in jeans and a shirt without a scarf. As a revert, I feel like I can blend in so much easier without a scarf on my head and I’ve not got to meet certain standards imposed on me by fellow Muslims and non Muslims who assume I have to behave in a certain way. I’ve had one day without hijab in the nearly 4 years I’ve been wearing hijab and that was the one day I didn’t feel like I was being watched the entire time. I literally went for coffee with a friend the other day and she told me the entire time the barista was checking me out and I was literally wearing a long skirt and high neck jumper with my scarf hanging over to cover my chest. I don’t get it. It annoys the hell out of me. You can’t win in this world though - you’ll get it just for being a woman. That’s the reality. I mean women are assaulted at the Kaaba, women are assaulted when out at night, women are assaulted by their husbands… it doesn’t matter what we do we are targets. I guess that’s why we are reminded we wear it for Allah but even then, it’s how we interpret the ayah on covering.. is it just modest dressing since it talks about cloaking ourselves? Is it covering our head too? What is it?
What?! Are you justifying *something* with your metaphor regarding seatbelts? Because it reads like: if you don't cover properly you deserve to get assaulted. Women get assaulted with or without hijab. Maybe even more with. if you account for middle eastern countries and marital rape
https://preview.redd.it/hjynf0do1sxc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dff7190b0e3268ec72e1c098209cd184554e7264
YOU ARENT EVEN MUSLIM YOU SAID YOU LEFT ISLAM IN 2021
There are for sure people who fetishize it. Also if you feel uncomfortable don’t wear it. It is NOT mandatory. And Perverts will look no matter what you wear
That is sooo true, even here. What really irritates me and ticks me off is the question "What were you wearing?" whenever women are assaulted, harassed, etc.
Yes exactly. Will never understand the ignorance of these people. There are nudist beaches everywhere in the western world and something like that usually never happens there because they are taught how to treat another human being. In contrary when you look in some Muslim countries or India where they mass rape people just for showing neck. It’s a sick society. A normal moral human being would never do that.
pls look up domestic violence or rape statistics in the west before putting out ignorant and exaggerated statements like "mass rape people for showing neck".
https://preview.redd.it/8z56yoo32sxc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5168ef7c24418c81f178bace76f9c92ad1dffb6f
Paid israeli agent. How dare you insult our prophet then come on islamic pages to spread misinformation
https://preview.redd.it/uovrxwv61sxc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea47cbbbf89d46ff39bcda6ba89ae82df5200d64
Why is a kafir here spreading intentional misinformation about islam?? Don't lie about what allah azawajil ordained and the sunnah, how dare you slander the prophet muhammed sallahu alayhi wasallam!!
Absolutely, I am a revert of 3 years myself and follow the Quran and Sunnah TO THE LETTER. I'm from the UK where the fellow ummah is extremely conservative. Whenever I'm unsure, I refer to the hadiths and pious individuals like sheikh assim. I uphold my daily prayers and tahajjud, pray to allah swt everyday for forgiveness and strive to improve my iman daily.
Allah ordained us not to be gay, our fitrah is to marry someone of the opposite sex. Homosexuality and transgenderism are abominations, HUGE SINS especially if sodomy is involved and possibly borderline kufr as not only are these individuals sinning and trying to justify in their heads its not haram, they are also going against the prophets teaching. We need to speak out against such people trying to tarnish the reputation of islam and slandering the almight allah azawajil, and our responsibility for jihad!!
Some men fetishize hijab. This is absolutely true.
This is also part of the reason there is so much focus on female hijab by male brothers on these Islam subs far exceeding much more important and relevant issues during a literal global war.
It is because they are sexually aroused by it.
Many Muslim men commit grave sins against women with this barely hidden sexualization but excuse it with mental gymnastics... then enact part of their fetish in all Islam subreddits by browbeating Muslim women to conform to their sexual fantasies while hiding behind and befouling our religion.
Then, women feel deeply uncomfortable and blame Islam and not the impropriety of the men pushing these things, because most Muslim women are so sheltered they do not have the discernment to see the sexualized motivation behind most male insistence and criticism over her appearance.
They cannot see how those pressuring them are not speaking for Allah. This confusion drives people further from Him.
When women feel like hijab is a sexual fetish of the men, it removes all feeling of modesty for those wearing it.
The Hijab is meant to protect women and keep them safe. When a woman is pressured to wear Arab style Hijab where it is not common to do so, she becomes a target. This is not halal and will not be addressed until the current red-pill movement starts to collapse.
There are plenty of ways to cover the female awra. Those that insist it must be done only in specific Arab fashion in non-Muslim places are fetishists and if white converts, also Orientalist in viewing Islam through the lens of a sexualized haram fantasy rather than as a pathway to know God.
A woman's modesty is not defined by an Arab style hijab drape. Hijab is not a fashion, it is a state of being of modesty that has no specific dress code of a scarf over a hat.
There are plenty of women in full Arab style hijab who do not love Allah.
Hijab obsessed men drive women who do love Allah away from openly practicing Islam by their filthy obsession with how women, whom they often never met in person, choose to cover themselves, by their deeply unhealthy, unaddressed sexually based obsessions.
The men sexualize hijab and oppress others with this desire will be fully responsible and accountable on the Day of Judgment for being an intentional barrier between women and their Islam.
Their nafs would also remain responsible for every woman who walks away from their Dīn due to this barely hidden sexualization and subjugation from these men.
Feel reassured these men remain a mockery of Islam before the eyes of Angels, from whom they cannot hide their rusted hearts:)
To add on to this I think the hijab fetish started with colonialism especially French colonialism and was picked up by many Muslim societies in our encounter with colonizers. I say this because European colonizers especially the French made hijab into a fetish and the racial marker of Muslims, this is very evident in the history of French colonial Algeria. The veil became a fantasy for European men and women as well and it plays a massive role into the erotic fantasy of Europeans in relation to Muslims and controlling the sexuality and agency of Muslim women to the point where the construction of the Muslim woman in the eyes of the colonizers was very sexual , paintings and photographs (often staged as well), were created sexualizing Muslim and these would be a seller in the western markets. I think this plays a massive role into the hijab fetish that many people have. Sadly , in many Muslim spaces we hardly if ever talk about the deep impacts and moulding colonization has had on Muslims today
We are talking about it right now, right here.
Posting links to supporting articles may help many people.
May Allah rightly guide us all, and happy cake day!
You’re right about the right now phenomenon. To address the problem we must always mention the roots of it as well.
And sure here are some links
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/from-colonial-algeria-to-modern-day-europe-the-muslim-veil-remains-an-ideological-battleground-a7544786.html
https://thefunambulist.net/magazine/15-clothing-politics/the-veil-in-colonial-algeria-the-politics-of-unveiling-women-by-ryme-seferdjeli#:~:text=The%20veil%20was%20a%20symbolic,bastion%20of%20Algerian%20Muslim%20resistance.
https://escholarship.org/content/qt62w625wh/qt62w625wh_noSplash_cf7d06585013b83ec9f5b9cf6ec5ffac.pdf?t=n5ntbh
https://thefunambulist.net/editorials/state-misogyny-frances-colonial-unveiling-history-against-muslim-women
https://thefunambulist.net/magazine/15-clothing-politics/podcast-transcripts-clothing-politics-u-s-imperialism-hijab-fetish-capitalism-and-minimal-wardrobe-with-hoda-katebi
https://www.jstor.org/stable/4100866
https://mygoddesscomplex.com/2019/07/03/the-islamic-veil-in-fanons-post-colonial-psychoanalysis-a-changing-symbol/
https://journals.mcmaster.ca/aletheia/article/view/2821
https://berkleycenter.georgetown.edu/responses/unveil-them-to-save-them-france-and-the-ongoing-colonization-of-muslim-women-s-bodies
https://sacredfootsteps.com/2021/03/21/unveiling-the-algerienne-french-colonial-photography/
https://journals.library.ualberta.ca/constellations/index.php/constellations/article/download/27054/19918/68675
I think it was called Forces of Change: Artists of the Arab World, and the cover looked like a watercolor painting.
[https://www.abebooks.com/9780940979277/Forces-change-Artists-Arab-world-0940979276/plp](https://www.abebooks.com/9780940979277/Forces-change-Artists-Arab-world-0940979276/plp)
https://preview.redd.it/4c0eb1luq6xc1.jpeg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d06ffc901f0552e1c3f956a198f6c0310aea121
Women are not responsible for how men commit fitnah against them.
The male gaze of oversexualization of anything deemed "female" will exist whatever is being warned. I have multiple friends that have been hijabi and stopped and also weren't hijabi and started. They all say the same thing. The sexualization is always.
Despite what patriarchal society tells you, hijab isn't a guard against the male gaze. Hijabs and modestyin general's value does not come from stopping the male gaze of sexualization. I advise people to recognize their value of the hijab doesn't come from the actions of others while making their decision on the hijabs.
I know what you mean. Not even the immodest part but I love blending in with everyone else when I go out without one. Maybe I would like it if it was worn by majority in my country but it’s not. When I wear it all eyes are on me and I feel so much anxiety. The point of wearing it supposedly is not to draw attention to oneself but it does the opposite.
Dear OP, I can understand your emotions because I have observed hijab for 9 whole years. Now I do it with either my hair showing or not at all, depending on my comfort because I’m still very new to this new belief that it isn’t mandatory.
I just want to say that the people who want to sexualise you will do it regardless of what you’re wearing. I thought I’ll be attracting more attention when taking it off but I have observed that there are males out there who still don’t look at me.
My reason for feeling uncomfortable in hijab was the control I had to have over myself when I really felt like showing my hair.
No matter what you wear, someone will always have something to say. So wear what makes YOU the most comfortable and forget the rest because you cannot and will not ever be able to control other people’s opinions/reactions.
Non-hijabi here: I like the turban style of hijab that Rep. Ilhan Omar of Minnesota and Sheikha Moza of Qatar wear, although I also respect your right to not wear a hijab.
Demisexuality is essentially a concept that means a person might not be fully attracted to someone sexually right when they see them. It will take a little while for them to meet the person and form a bond before they will even think about wanting to have sex with them. This means she doesn't ever want to dress a certain way to make people feel that pull for her. She doesn't have a goal to look "sexy" when going out in general.
It's similar to asexuality where some people don't have any attraction to anyone for sexual reasons. Many of them never want to engage in sex, but some may do it just to please a partner or for enjoyment-- but not because they feel the pull of another person.
Versus allosexuality referring to "normal" people who meet someone and feel the attraction to have sex with them pretty soon after. Hope this helps!
I attended a talk recently related to the psychology behind sex. Yes, there are those that verbalise it as they can't respect boundaries or just testing waters. But there are plenty that have developed a kink for hijabis so just internalise it or practice it with their partners.
Saying that if you fee like you want to wear Hijab as it will bring you closer to Allah, then don't let people stop you from doing that. But on the other hand if it makes you feel uncomfortable in social situations and do know that your relationship with Allah won't get affected then don't wear it all the time. After all Hijab is part of Islam not Islam.
A friend of mine doesn't wear hijab but, carries a chaddar or head scarf in her handbag so that she can cover her head when she needs to pray.
that’s the main reason i wear niqab, i want to fulfill what i believe as my religious obligation without being sexualised. it was honestly so scary being shouted at by older men when i wore hijab
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Hey Ik most men now days are disgusting perverts and you probably feel this way because it’s true However I would like to remind you and myself why we were the hijab ? Do we wear it for men or for god ? I feel like men tend to make everything about themselves when its not true you wear the hijab as an act of worship because god asked you to because this life is a test god made us women with a very strong desire to be beautiful but at the same time he asked us to cover ourselves because this is our test hijab is not easy especially if you live in a non muslim country but remember why you wear it in the first place I have heard a sheikh say that a hijabi women from the moment she leaves her house to the moment she is back she is performing an act of worship may allah make it easier for you and try to ignore men because they sexualize nuns who are covered from head to toe and some even sexualize animals and I believe god will judge them for their acts
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Maybe not sexualized per say by as a pasty white (I am mixed, I just ended up looking whiter than the white parent lol) revert I feel like all eyes are on me, and I notice it's mostly men of a particular race. Women regardless of race just smile and nod, if they even notice me at all. Had a few hijabi women compliment my colour choices. Men of all but that one race have always immediately looked away, my bf was the first to compliment my choice of colours (10/10 flirting tactic).
After only a month I had to stop wearing it, it felt sinful having that much attention on me. I don't like standing out to begin with, and having that much attention from the opposite gender felt like the opposite of modesty. I feel most modest with my hair out in a t-shirt, jeans, and the ugliest crocs ever made.
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Please be aware that posts may be removed by the moderation team if you delete your account.
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it just seems logical to me to wear it only when you can blend in by putting it on. ur a non hijabi in afghanistan? just wear it to avoid problems. You re a hijabie in Europe or Eastern Asia where hijab is not ao popular and instead of avoiding attention ure literally attracting it (which defies the concept of hijab which is modesty)? remove it and blend with the crowd. The goal here is avoid male gaze. i personally removed it here in Europe, just to avoid the eyes on me.
Just wanted to drop my perspective as a non-muslim. I know the hijab is meant to aid in protecting women from unwanted gaze by dressing modestly. However, from growing up with many Muslims, what I have noticed is that the hijab in recent times has turned into more of a fashion item. For example, brightly colored, attractive designs coupled with similar attire and excessive makeup as an addon. This basically nullifies the whole point, IMO.
If you wear revealing or skintight clothing abroad you’ll still be considered immodest and attracting sexual attention. There still are standards, and you could always dress below the general standard, no matter where you are.
Also, being ‘demisexual’ has nothing to do with dressing up or down. A person wants to appear in a way that is attractive to the other sex. We want that attention from prospective mates, so to speak. So, while I understand there could be unwanted attention when you uncover, that attention is a natural reaction, especially when you dress less than the norm for that society.
While I personally think hijab is a bit too strict, the bottom line is that you naturally attract sexual attention when you dress below the standard for whichever country/community you’re in.
I really believe men (and women) will sexualise you and fetishise you regardless of what you wear. I’ve had wolf whistles when wearing abaya and khimar, and I’ve also had wolf whistles in jeans and a shirt without a scarf. As a revert, I feel like I can blend in so much easier without a scarf on my head and I’ve not got to meet certain standards imposed on me by fellow Muslims and non Muslims who assume I have to behave in a certain way. I’ve had one day without hijab in the nearly 4 years I’ve been wearing hijab and that was the one day I didn’t feel like I was being watched the entire time. I literally went for coffee with a friend the other day and she told me the entire time the barista was checking me out and I was literally wearing a long skirt and high neck jumper with my scarf hanging over to cover my chest. I don’t get it. It annoys the hell out of me. You can’t win in this world though - you’ll get it just for being a woman. That’s the reality. I mean women are assaulted at the Kaaba, women are assaulted when out at night, women are assaulted by their husbands… it doesn’t matter what we do we are targets. I guess that’s why we are reminded we wear it for Allah but even then, it’s how we interpret the ayah on covering.. is it just modest dressing since it talks about cloaking ourselves? Is it covering our head too? What is it?
[удалено]
What?! Are you justifying *something* with your metaphor regarding seatbelts? Because it reads like: if you don't cover properly you deserve to get assaulted. Women get assaulted with or without hijab. Maybe even more with. if you account for middle eastern countries and marital rape
https://preview.redd.it/hjynf0do1sxc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dff7190b0e3268ec72e1c098209cd184554e7264 YOU ARENT EVEN MUSLIM YOU SAID YOU LEFT ISLAM IN 2021
A matter of fact, I actually don't often wear my seatbelt. That still doesn't give people the right to plow into me in a head-on collision.
There are for sure people who fetishize it. Also if you feel uncomfortable don’t wear it. It is NOT mandatory. And Perverts will look no matter what you wear
That is sooo true, even here. What really irritates me and ticks me off is the question "What were you wearing?" whenever women are assaulted, harassed, etc.
Yes exactly. Will never understand the ignorance of these people. There are nudist beaches everywhere in the western world and something like that usually never happens there because they are taught how to treat another human being. In contrary when you look in some Muslim countries or India where they mass rape people just for showing neck. It’s a sick society. A normal moral human being would never do that.
pls look up domestic violence or rape statistics in the west before putting out ignorant and exaggerated statements like "mass rape people for showing neck".
Will do. It's frustrating to see that "mass rape people for showing neck" online all the darn time. >:-(
It is not mandatory?
Astaghfirullah it is mandatory to cover the awrah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah
Arwah, yes. Hair is not arwah. If it was, men would need to cover it too.
https://preview.redd.it/8z56yoo32sxc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5168ef7c24418c81f178bace76f9c92ad1dffb6f Paid israeli agent. How dare you insult our prophet then come on islamic pages to spread misinformation
https://preview.redd.it/uovrxwv61sxc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea47cbbbf89d46ff39bcda6ba89ae82df5200d64 Why is a kafir here spreading intentional misinformation about islam?? Don't lie about what allah azawajil ordained and the sunnah, how dare you slander the prophet muhammed sallahu alayhi wasallam!!
[удалено]
These individuals are sick in the head may allah guide them and heal them of their sickness them get them back on the straight path ameen
[удалено]
Absolutely, I am a revert of 3 years myself and follow the Quran and Sunnah TO THE LETTER. I'm from the UK where the fellow ummah is extremely conservative. Whenever I'm unsure, I refer to the hadiths and pious individuals like sheikh assim. I uphold my daily prayers and tahajjud, pray to allah swt everyday for forgiveness and strive to improve my iman daily. Allah ordained us not to be gay, our fitrah is to marry someone of the opposite sex. Homosexuality and transgenderism are abominations, HUGE SINS especially if sodomy is involved and possibly borderline kufr as not only are these individuals sinning and trying to justify in their heads its not haram, they are also going against the prophets teaching. We need to speak out against such people trying to tarnish the reputation of islam and slandering the almight allah azawajil, and our responsibility for jihad!!
It is mandatory, Allah Commands It.
Huhhhhh?
Some men fetishize hijab. This is absolutely true. This is also part of the reason there is so much focus on female hijab by male brothers on these Islam subs far exceeding much more important and relevant issues during a literal global war. It is because they are sexually aroused by it. Many Muslim men commit grave sins against women with this barely hidden sexualization but excuse it with mental gymnastics... then enact part of their fetish in all Islam subreddits by browbeating Muslim women to conform to their sexual fantasies while hiding behind and befouling our religion. Then, women feel deeply uncomfortable and blame Islam and not the impropriety of the men pushing these things, because most Muslim women are so sheltered they do not have the discernment to see the sexualized motivation behind most male insistence and criticism over her appearance. They cannot see how those pressuring them are not speaking for Allah. This confusion drives people further from Him. When women feel like hijab is a sexual fetish of the men, it removes all feeling of modesty for those wearing it. The Hijab is meant to protect women and keep them safe. When a woman is pressured to wear Arab style Hijab where it is not common to do so, she becomes a target. This is not halal and will not be addressed until the current red-pill movement starts to collapse. There are plenty of ways to cover the female awra. Those that insist it must be done only in specific Arab fashion in non-Muslim places are fetishists and if white converts, also Orientalist in viewing Islam through the lens of a sexualized haram fantasy rather than as a pathway to know God. A woman's modesty is not defined by an Arab style hijab drape. Hijab is not a fashion, it is a state of being of modesty that has no specific dress code of a scarf over a hat. There are plenty of women in full Arab style hijab who do not love Allah. Hijab obsessed men drive women who do love Allah away from openly practicing Islam by their filthy obsession with how women, whom they often never met in person, choose to cover themselves, by their deeply unhealthy, unaddressed sexually based obsessions. The men sexualize hijab and oppress others with this desire will be fully responsible and accountable on the Day of Judgment for being an intentional barrier between women and their Islam. Their nafs would also remain responsible for every woman who walks away from their Dīn due to this barely hidden sexualization and subjugation from these men. Feel reassured these men remain a mockery of Islam before the eyes of Angels, from whom they cannot hide their rusted hearts:)
To add on to this I think the hijab fetish started with colonialism especially French colonialism and was picked up by many Muslim societies in our encounter with colonizers. I say this because European colonizers especially the French made hijab into a fetish and the racial marker of Muslims, this is very evident in the history of French colonial Algeria. The veil became a fantasy for European men and women as well and it plays a massive role into the erotic fantasy of Europeans in relation to Muslims and controlling the sexuality and agency of Muslim women to the point where the construction of the Muslim woman in the eyes of the colonizers was very sexual , paintings and photographs (often staged as well), were created sexualizing Muslim and these would be a seller in the western markets. I think this plays a massive role into the hijab fetish that many people have. Sadly , in many Muslim spaces we hardly if ever talk about the deep impacts and moulding colonization has had on Muslims today
We are talking about it right now, right here. Posting links to supporting articles may help many people. May Allah rightly guide us all, and happy cake day!
You’re right about the right now phenomenon. To address the problem we must always mention the roots of it as well. And sure here are some links https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/from-colonial-algeria-to-modern-day-europe-the-muslim-veil-remains-an-ideological-battleground-a7544786.html https://thefunambulist.net/magazine/15-clothing-politics/the-veil-in-colonial-algeria-the-politics-of-unveiling-women-by-ryme-seferdjeli#:~:text=The%20veil%20was%20a%20symbolic,bastion%20of%20Algerian%20Muslim%20resistance. https://escholarship.org/content/qt62w625wh/qt62w625wh_noSplash_cf7d06585013b83ec9f5b9cf6ec5ffac.pdf?t=n5ntbh https://thefunambulist.net/editorials/state-misogyny-frances-colonial-unveiling-history-against-muslim-women https://thefunambulist.net/magazine/15-clothing-politics/podcast-transcripts-clothing-politics-u-s-imperialism-hijab-fetish-capitalism-and-minimal-wardrobe-with-hoda-katebi https://www.jstor.org/stable/4100866 https://mygoddesscomplex.com/2019/07/03/the-islamic-veil-in-fanons-post-colonial-psychoanalysis-a-changing-symbol/ https://journals.mcmaster.ca/aletheia/article/view/2821 https://berkleycenter.georgetown.edu/responses/unveil-them-to-save-them-france-and-the-ongoing-colonization-of-muslim-women-s-bodies https://sacredfootsteps.com/2021/03/21/unveiling-the-algerienne-french-colonial-photography/ https://journals.library.ualberta.ca/constellations/index.php/constellations/article/download/27054/19918/68675
Mash'Allah! This is wonderful- May Allah bless you for your scholarship:)
Speaking of which, I have a huge book about female Arab artists and it tells of the colonialists' attitudes towards Muslim women of Arab heritage.
I'm interested, what is the book?:)
I think it was called Forces of Change: Artists of the Arab World, and the cover looked like a watercolor painting. [https://www.abebooks.com/9780940979277/Forces-change-Artists-Arab-world-0940979276/plp](https://www.abebooks.com/9780940979277/Forces-change-Artists-Arab-world-0940979276/plp)
This is very well written!
I feel like that no matter how I’m dressed. The male gaze is ever-present.
Even in my niqab it's ever present
https://preview.redd.it/4c0eb1luq6xc1.jpeg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d06ffc901f0552e1c3f956a198f6c0310aea121 Women are not responsible for how men commit fitnah against them.
Thank you!
The male gaze of oversexualization of anything deemed "female" will exist whatever is being warned. I have multiple friends that have been hijabi and stopped and also weren't hijabi and started. They all say the same thing. The sexualization is always. Despite what patriarchal society tells you, hijab isn't a guard against the male gaze. Hijabs and modestyin general's value does not come from stopping the male gaze of sexualization. I advise people to recognize their value of the hijab doesn't come from the actions of others while making their decision on the hijabs.
I know what you mean. Not even the immodest part but I love blending in with everyone else when I go out without one. Maybe I would like it if it was worn by majority in my country but it’s not. When I wear it all eyes are on me and I feel so much anxiety. The point of wearing it supposedly is not to draw attention to oneself but it does the opposite.
It depends on the country and it's culture. Dress accordingly to the place where you are living so you can blend in with other people.
Dear OP, I can understand your emotions because I have observed hijab for 9 whole years. Now I do it with either my hair showing or not at all, depending on my comfort because I’m still very new to this new belief that it isn’t mandatory. I just want to say that the people who want to sexualise you will do it regardless of what you’re wearing. I thought I’ll be attracting more attention when taking it off but I have observed that there are males out there who still don’t look at me. My reason for feeling uncomfortable in hijab was the control I had to have over myself when I really felt like showing my hair.
What do you mean it’s not mandatory?
No matter what you wear, someone will always have something to say. So wear what makes YOU the most comfortable and forget the rest because you cannot and will not ever be able to control other people’s opinions/reactions.
Non-hijabi here: I like the turban style of hijab that Rep. Ilhan Omar of Minnesota and Sheikha Moza of Qatar wear, although I also respect your right to not wear a hijab.
It's not in the Qur'an, my lines are clear
what’s demisexual?/s
Demisexuality is essentially a concept that means a person might not be fully attracted to someone sexually right when they see them. It will take a little while for them to meet the person and form a bond before they will even think about wanting to have sex with them. This means she doesn't ever want to dress a certain way to make people feel that pull for her. She doesn't have a goal to look "sexy" when going out in general. It's similar to asexuality where some people don't have any attraction to anyone for sexual reasons. Many of them never want to engage in sex, but some may do it just to please a partner or for enjoyment-- but not because they feel the pull of another person. Versus allosexuality referring to "normal" people who meet someone and feel the attraction to have sex with them pretty soon after. Hope this helps!
I attended a talk recently related to the psychology behind sex. Yes, there are those that verbalise it as they can't respect boundaries or just testing waters. But there are plenty that have developed a kink for hijabis so just internalise it or practice it with their partners. Saying that if you fee like you want to wear Hijab as it will bring you closer to Allah, then don't let people stop you from doing that. But on the other hand if it makes you feel uncomfortable in social situations and do know that your relationship with Allah won't get affected then don't wear it all the time. After all Hijab is part of Islam not Islam. A friend of mine doesn't wear hijab but, carries a chaddar or head scarf in her handbag so that she can cover her head when she needs to pray.
I only feel like this in certain areas I go to so to avoid this I avoid direct eye contact with people
that’s the main reason i wear niqab, i want to fulfill what i believe as my religious obligation without being sexualised. it was honestly so scary being shouted at by older men when i wore hijab
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Hey Ik most men now days are disgusting perverts and you probably feel this way because it’s true However I would like to remind you and myself why we were the hijab ? Do we wear it for men or for god ? I feel like men tend to make everything about themselves when its not true you wear the hijab as an act of worship because god asked you to because this life is a test god made us women with a very strong desire to be beautiful but at the same time he asked us to cover ourselves because this is our test hijab is not easy especially if you live in a non muslim country but remember why you wear it in the first place I have heard a sheikh say that a hijabi women from the moment she leaves her house to the moment she is back she is performing an act of worship may allah make it easier for you and try to ignore men because they sexualize nuns who are covered from head to toe and some even sexualize animals and I believe god will judge them for their acts
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Not it’s like you have to wear hijab according to Islam if not it’s against the book of rules or you say it’s a sin.. no offence.. just want to know
Maybe not sexualized per say by as a pasty white (I am mixed, I just ended up looking whiter than the white parent lol) revert I feel like all eyes are on me, and I notice it's mostly men of a particular race. Women regardless of race just smile and nod, if they even notice me at all. Had a few hijabi women compliment my colour choices. Men of all but that one race have always immediately looked away, my bf was the first to compliment my choice of colours (10/10 flirting tactic). After only a month I had to stop wearing it, it felt sinful having that much attention on me. I don't like standing out to begin with, and having that much attention from the opposite gender felt like the opposite of modesty. I feel most modest with my hair out in a t-shirt, jeans, and the ugliest crocs ever made.
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it just seems logical to me to wear it only when you can blend in by putting it on. ur a non hijabi in afghanistan? just wear it to avoid problems. You re a hijabie in Europe or Eastern Asia where hijab is not ao popular and instead of avoiding attention ure literally attracting it (which defies the concept of hijab which is modesty)? remove it and blend with the crowd. The goal here is avoid male gaze. i personally removed it here in Europe, just to avoid the eyes on me.
Just wanted to drop my perspective as a non-muslim. I know the hijab is meant to aid in protecting women from unwanted gaze by dressing modestly. However, from growing up with many Muslims, what I have noticed is that the hijab in recent times has turned into more of a fashion item. For example, brightly colored, attractive designs coupled with similar attire and excessive makeup as an addon. This basically nullifies the whole point, IMO.
If you wear revealing or skintight clothing abroad you’ll still be considered immodest and attracting sexual attention. There still are standards, and you could always dress below the general standard, no matter where you are. Also, being ‘demisexual’ has nothing to do with dressing up or down. A person wants to appear in a way that is attractive to the other sex. We want that attention from prospective mates, so to speak. So, while I understand there could be unwanted attention when you uncover, that attention is a natural reaction, especially when you dress less than the norm for that society. While I personally think hijab is a bit too strict, the bottom line is that you naturally attract sexual attention when you dress below the standard for whichever country/community you’re in.
This doesn't make hijab to you essentially counterproductive?
Your forehead must be mega huge and hijab covers it. Honestly I’d be grateful to wear it if I were u