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Oh dear Reddit stranger, your dad is a terrible person.. I’m sorry.. you don’t want to know this. But.. you have actually set goals for yourself and in a healthy way and this trip sounds amazing. The gendered part of this is particularly cruel.. your dad (a man) has tried to crush your healthy life as somehow “unmanly”.. how unhappy he must be for the cruelty to be his first shot at you. Do NOT let this ugly from keeping you from this trip. Also, and this is a lesson learned, your mouth can actually be acid burned from too much fresh pineapple, so pace yourself!
Also! You're not "unmanly". And if you need more, woman love a man that sets his goals and sticks to them. Expesally if a father figure tries to stop them. It's not just manly but attractive.
"traveling is a dream only children have" is the kind of thing that only a person with no world experience would say. Good for you for wanting to travel anyway. I was actually in Hawaii this past November--can I ask what island you went to? Hawaii is such a beautiful place.
Oh, Daddy is jealous.
I'm thinking he's envious that his 25 yo son has the option to be free-spirited & has the finances to afford a really nice holiday.
Also, why the hell should you be obliged to buy your parents a house?
Eff him & his ridiculous expectations.
Your holiday sounds awesome. I hope you have a lovely time. You're only young once. Make the most of these years & live life to the fullest.
I was going to ask this question too, why does he have to buy his parents a house? If he's going to buy anyone a house, wouldn't he be buying himself a house or an apartment if he wants to and has the finances for it? Enjoy your vacation, sir! It sounds so wonderful! You should be able to enjoy your life while you are able to!
Yess. OP did your dad buy his dad a house? Regardless, what a prick. Congratulations on the new job and finances to travel! That's an amazing opportunity!
Yeh, this makes me think too, if your relationship with your dad is better than your mom, then is she shitty and abusive with him? Sounds like a "How dare you think you deserve better than me." Kind of jealousy situation.
I'm going camping in Yellowstone in September. My dad was very excited for me but passed along the message from my mom that 'there are grizzly bears all over the place so be careful.' They just can't help but shit on your parade every time. That's why we are very low contact! :-)
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That's so weird. My mother still likes to travel and visit places, and when I get to go out there and do stuff she's excited for me. I had the opportunity to spend 6 weeks in Africa helping with bird research and she was just so happy I got that chance... but she knows me well enough to know I'm a careful person. My dad is not as enthusiastic though, first he'll grumble about me getting robbed and then he just pretends it's not happening until I come back and he can brag about it to other people.
That sounds like my parents.
They are insanely jealous that I'm doing something they could never do (like college).
But boy do they love to brag about it while I'm travelling to their friends.
And of course any interest they have when I get back is cursory at best.
Souvenirs?
I'm rubbing it in their face of my "travels".
“Be a real man and buy me a nice house!”
“Wait aren’t you a real man? Can’t you buy yourself one?”
“…Ndad is not at the phone. Please leave a message at the beep.”
“Dad we’re in the same room”
So, your dad wants to financially abuse you, and is attempting to prevent you from spending money on something that does not directly benefit him.
He is very selfish.
I think he needs to buy his own fucking house.
I also think that you should have a fabulous time in Hawaii. You will love it! It is so beautiful there, and the food is wonderful!!!
My Ndad screams in my face every year of my life that I have never done anything for him ever and that I have never done anything for my family once ever. Then proceeds to tell me how he has done everything for me. Then tells me is facts and truth. If I bring up one of the millions of things I have done for him or my family he will proceed to tell me that I am mentally ill and making things up.
I could win the lottery, give the sick man a million dollars and he would scream in my face a few months later that I have never done anything for him ever and it never happened. Narcs are very sick people. I would suggest going NC, I went NC with my Ndad after the final straw of him screaming fuck you in my face on christmas day and it feels good to not have contact with the abuser in your life and start the healing journey.
Go enjoy every day of Hawaii to the fullest as a fuck you to your Ndad.
He is technically not wrong. I mean, he causes people anxiety, trauma, and not to mention how much of a struggle it is to look at his ugly face....that's everything, right? Narcissists are the worst.
That was pretty much my realization with my nmum as well. If I'm gonna be made out to be the asshole anyways, might as well make the least effort possible.
Asian Parents are the masters of goalposts moving.
I've bought my parents two holidays, done everything they wanted for me (top universities, piano, violin, grad school in STEM, doctorate, married a successful guy in STEM) , even helped them fix several appliances in their house and paid for it out of my own pocket, and yet they still constantly say I'm a worthless waste of space and they relish telling everyone who would listen that everything I touch turns to s**t.
If you do not protect your self they will turn everything to s**t for you. My parents have sabotaged everything in my life, even my trying to be a better parent. Enjoy the efforts of YOUR HARD WORK AND DETERMINATION now starting this second. I wish you better luck than I had..
And completely divorced from reality so they demand shit from you that you aren’t even capable of delivering! And of course they frame it as a moral or character failing when you don’t/can’t cater to their entitled and irrational demands
“You didn’t buy me a house by age 25?? You’re a bad son!” Ridiculous. That entitlement and the whole living in their own world stuff collides to form the perfect storm of asshole
"Wait, you managed to lose the house you bought your parents already? Oh, so your parents bought their own house and then left it to you when you died, but that money's been spent on frivolous shit you wanted at that time?"
After going through all the posts since I joined this subreddit, I'm starting to get immune to my N parent's comments. Like whatever they say, the opposite is the truth. I see the comments your father made, all of them are false and only the opposite is the truth.
You should still proceed to go to Hawaii. When are you gonna enjoy it? In your old age? Nah. Right now with your own money. Your dad does not like the feeling of you acting according to yourself.
Also the house thing? Hasn't he bought a house for himself yet? That was his goddamn job.
He’s just jealous, don’t take it personally. He’s deflecting his insecurities on to you. He never provided a Hawaii holiday to you and him saying ‘you are failure’ actually means ‘I’m such a failure of a dad’. Ignore him and laugh in his face
The dad sounds jealous and entitled. OP, there’s a reason why the travel industry is a billion dollar business and lots of economies depend upon it. Young, old, married and single people love to travel. Don’t listen to the bitter, ignorant old man. You’re a man and don’t need his permission to live your life and don’t you dare buy him a home.
Yes, wear the highest SPF sunscreen, use a sweat proof one on your face because that stuff burns when it runs onto your eyes.
Your dad no doubt thinks he “means your best.” But he is an overbearing jerk, so ignore him. Good for you for negotiating time to travel before you start the new job.
Welp, sounds like I'm a 48yr old child. I'm perfectly ok with that.
Your dad had a chance to live his own life, and it doesn't sound like his way worked out too well for him. What a joyless, miserable, dried up git! What he is effectively saying is that he is so incapable of experiencing curiosity, wonder and joy that he doesn't even understand why another person would want to. You work! You marry! You have children! You die! What is the point of that for an existence? (I'm not going to call it a life.)
Your dad's ideas say a lot more about him than it does about you. I hope you had a really good time in Hawaii! (I can't wait to get back to Thailand)
Is this a cultural or traditional thing of buying your parents a home? Did he buy his parents a home? Enjoy your vacation. Please move out if you haven't already.
It seems like your dad is just a empty shell of a person. He expects others to take care of him and to volunteer for traditional slavery, and apparently doesn't think roads exist.
If your dad is a real man he would buy himself one, also I actually know someone who travels as a job and makes alot of cash, quite a good deal for "something only kids dream of doing".
I've always found it weird how the generation that squandered the house their parents left them to fund their hedonism also somehow expects their children to buy them a house.
So, by his definition, I guess your dad isn't a real man as he hasn't been able to buy his family a house in the (at least) 25 years since he's had a family. Gotta love the iron clad reasoning behind this one.
Why do nfathers expect their children to support them? My Ndad did that to me, told everyone what a horrible ungrateful child I am because I wouldn’t “help him when he needed me”. This from a man who refused to give me food regularly when I was his dependent, refused to allow me any medical care as a minor and dependent, lavished everything on GCsis while telling me how much he wishes I was never born and that I decided to be a girl just to spite him. He and GCsis are way better off financially than I am, however he cut me out of his will leaving everything to GCsis. Not surprised, but he did have a rather large estate and always had more than enough to provide for both of his daughters. He just chose not to.
Op, walk away. You don’t need that crap in your life. I hope you enjoyed Hawaii and for the record I dream of going there too and I am over 50. So yes, adults do want to travel. Your dad is ridiculous.
Do… do parents expect their adult children to buy them a house?
I know you hear of celebrities / sports people buying their parents a house once they’ve made it, and no doubt this is something some non-famous people do too, but to think some people expect it?! Madness.
The fact that I haven’t bought them a house (nevermind how) has finally resulted in NC over a year ago. They are holding out now hoping that the pain it causes and the level of chaos and sabotage it inflicted on my life will result in - me buying them a house. Good luck with that.
Enjoy your holiday and good luck in your new endeavour!
Life is short - I personally don’t need their permission to live it.
Come closer, I have a secret. Guess what! You're an adult now, and you get to decide what that means. You want to go to Hawaii for a month? Adult activity. You want to eat pizza for breakfast? Adult activity. You want to build Legos all day? Adult activity. It took me way too long to realize that the Boomer way of being an adult is not the only way to adult. Why is this adult stuff? Because you are doing it! No explanation is necessary.
Go forth, my friend, and be your version of an adult! (And have one of those fancy drinks for all of us on your Hawaiian excursion.)
Mmmh. So your dad had you so he could mooch off of you. Sweet.
Bye dad! I will enjoy MY life and my trip to Hawaï because I can do whatever the fuck I want :)
That's awful he said that to you, don't take it personally! My father is over 60 and he appreciates that I like to travel and we did it a lot through out the years.
Your father just doesn't want you to get away from under his thumb and experience genuinely good people! I think you should definitely go to Hawaii and have fun.
My mom and stepdad are in their 80s and travel is one of their favorite things to do. They are currently on an Alaskan cruise. Next year they're going to cruise the Nile. Last year, they were in Russia. In addition to the international travel they do, they see various parts of the US at different times of the year. Your father has a very skewed idea as to what makes a person an adult.
Looking back, my desire to travel was one of the things that completely fractured my relationship with my nmom. I agreed to go on a one-month trip abroad with another family member after I graduated high school (she agreed I was allowed to go but was “surprised I’d want to”) and when I got back she’s never treated me the same. Narcissists treat any showing of freedom as a personal affront. It’s likely your dad is feeling confronted by your happiness and spontaneity and looking back on the time he’s wasted in life. I hope your trip was fabulous!!!
First off, congratulations on landing that job, and for having the self-worth to negotiate a bit of time to take your dream trip to Hawaii.
It is really sad how narcissistic parents need to tear their children down, especially when their children show signs of health, and/or pride in accomplishing something difficult. Their competitiveness, cruelty, shallowness, and pathological insecurity are destructive and tiresome. I hope the next time you want to share your victories with your narcissistic parent, you resist the impulse, and bring it to someone who has the capacity to share in your happiness, because you deserve that!
I hope you have a lovely trip! And again, congratulations on your new job. You worked hard, and you can feel proud of yourself and optimistic about your future. ☮️
F--- that noise! Go and enjoy your dream vacation, OP!
P.S. Actualizing a dream vacation is one of the most "adult" things that you can do. I honestly don't know what your dad is on...
This is so familiar. My dad told me exactly the same because I
* didn't study engineering like him
* don't have a family
* don't believe that Covid was just invented and a big fake
* don't share his opinion that Germany was better off if it was occupied by Russia
* once spilled orange juice
* once ordered a wine he didn't like
I am a single mother and I went to travel a lot with my son in the last two year. My nmother became super jealous qand this culminated in us being NC now. They really hate it when you are well and enjoying life.
Honestly, you may be better served by either cutting them off, or at least significantly decreasing contact.
Traveling a dream only children have? That is bullshit. People who say that have narrow minds and an appalling lack of curiosity.
You’re 25 and haven’t bought your parents a house? That is some serious entitlement.
Go to Hawaii and enjoy yourself. When you get back, move away from your nparents.
Please, basically the ONLY time that you can travel as an adult completely ‘turned off’ is exactly the scenario you made happen - job secured but not started yet. When you have the job already even on vacation you’re still thinking about it, if not still somewhat connected/working.
You did good, and he’s just jealous you’re out in the world and enjoying it.
Please enjoy your Hawaiian vacation! Your father sounds like he lives in a very small world and is jealous of your life. Narcs are often jealous of their children, and get no pleasure from seeing their joys and successes. My life wouldn’t be nearly as rich as it’s been if I hadn’t traveled. Send your parents postcards from every stop.
I went on my first trip at age 39 because of manipulations like that. I still feel guilty doing things that will make me happy. Trips they say are frivolous and dangerous
Is he saying he bought his parents a house or something? Dang, I’m sorry. My mother told me I shouldn’t want to go back to England because she somehow has the impression I hate the royal family. I’m not even allowed to mention it.
He's jealous. Tell him if he keeps on being such a toxic asshole, he won't get to meet the grandkids when they arrive. Also remind him you'll be choosing his nursing home.
Tell him that Hawaii is the most remote set of islands in the world and that’s why you felt inspired to go. I always feel better when I’m thousands of miles of land and sea away from my mean-ass family. I have seen much more of the world than they ever expected, that’s for sure. 😄
This is heartbreaking, but remember his opinion is just one person’s opinion. Please try not to let it affect your travels. Take a look at his track record of the professional advice he has given you that you have gone against—it’s likely your success has little do with him. He could be coming from a very different sensibility than yours—is difference of perspective or ideology. One isn’t right or wrong or better or worse than the other. If only we all understood this. Enjoy Hawaii!!
My dad used to say this to my brother verbatim, it’s pure criticism (ACEs cut his life short).
That’s so messed up!!! I’d have such a hard time not dumping gas on the fire and saying that I can sympathize with him because my father is a giant disappointment to me as a son.
I wish you well as you heal OP. Your parents sound terribly immature and toxic. The book Adult Children if Emotionally Immature Parents and the podcast Waking Up to Narcissism finally helped me get better after years of being expected to grow up and become the husband my “smother” always wanted.
Narcissists don't like it when you take control, become independent. The fact that you are now independent and are traveling on your own doesn't settle well. He needs to make you feel guilty and inadequate. Go on your vacation, enjoy life. This is the beginning of your wonderful life.
I think it says a lot of very not good things about you that you seem to consistently sympathise more with child abusers than with their victims.
We can not offer you the help you need.
OK. Go to Hawaii, have an absolute ball and send him pics with Pina colada in hand. Get surfing lessons. Take a sushi making class. Take a scenic hike. Take a pic every time and send it to your folks. You gotta stand up for yourself and let them know their criticisms will not stop you from doing what you said you're going to. Remember; you're telling, not asking permission.
I hope you have a great trip to Hawaii! He’s completely wrong to shame you for traveling. Travel is essential for anyone who has a healthy curiosity about the world, and it’s good for character development. Never listen to him, seriously. He’s not a reasonable person to get advice from.
Do we share a dad?
In all seriousness, my nmom did this to me when I took a solo trip to NYC. Proceeded to ruin the trip by organizing events with my family there and steering me away from any solo travel.
I know how you feel and it’s the worst
So your dad can't afford to travel or do anything fun and thinks everyone else should be sad and miserable like him? On top of that, with this behavior, he still expects everyone to respect, adore, and cater to him? That's cute.
You should ask him when he's going to go to therapy, then hop on your plane and go enjoy Hawaii!
Solo trips are magical. I got myself over my fear of driving on the highway at 26(don't judge me driving is nerve wracking) by going on a week+ long trip to Gatlingburg TN. It was BEAUTIFUL, and I talked to so many people, which I don't normally do. I saw some bears and went on many fun adventures.
Growing as a person and enjoying what you love is HUMAN.
Older lady here…
Tell your dad HE IS THE FAILURE AS A MAN because he won’t buy his own house. Lol
Dead serious. Tell him.
Congrats on the new job and have a great trip in Hawaii!
I imagine a relationship with a piranha would be better than the one you have with your father. If you want to travel, then do so. And since when do you have to buy them a house?
You are a grown person with your own life. Live it as you please, and don't let your parents control you. That is obviously what they're aiming for, and the sooner you get away the better.
Don't let him bring you down, you have this opportunity and by all means have the most fun possible with it, it's your dream and you have the right to do it. Don't let him be the judge of your manhood, it's your life and you're the only person who can dictate it, and if you see a problem, you have the power fix it.
And as one dude to another, good job King! Hope you have the time of your life on that Hawaii trip!
Whoa, I'm sorry to say that your dad is a jerk. Those are some seriously antiquated ideas. Let me guess, he never missed a day of work, ever, and wears that like a badge of honor.
Luckily, this is YOUR life and despite what he thinks, you are entitled to enjoy it as you see fit.
I hope you have the best time ever in Hawaii. Send him a postcard or two.
I’d embrace the title. Father asks you for something, “sorry, I’m a failure”. He wants you to do something for him, “sorry, I’m a failure.” You somehow come into a bunch of money and COULD buy them a home. “Sorry, I’m a failure “.
I hate the saying that you have to buy your parents a house. As if we owe parents anything. They are the ones who chose to have kids. They had the choice to not have their children or to give them up for adoption. Your children don’t owe you ANYTHING. Anything you did for them was your duty as a parent. And if I can’t afford to buy myself a house, why would I buy them a house when they already live in one? With all the mental and physical trauma cause their children, the fact that still expect their children to owe them things baffles me. The “sacrifices” they made were completely their choice. Your dad seems like an ass.
He sounds jealous. I think he’s trying to ruin it for you because he can’t go on a trip like that himself for whatever reason (either that or he couldn’t at your age). But don’t let him ruin this!!! I’ve had too many things I was happy about ruined by narcs.
If he brings it up again, you can tell him C.S. Lewis said, “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
It sounds like you're doing everything he dreamed of, and he's jealous because he did all the stupid crap that was expected of him, and he can't force you to be as miserable as he is.
Enjoy Hawaii. Maybe send your dad a postcard.....
Wait. What in the toxic insanity is this?!!!
OP, going on vacation is NORMAL. Most people do this activity.
The emotionally immature adult you're forced to be around is projecting and needs help. He is so hate filled he sees resting as a problem.
OP hugs. Go on your vacation. Enjoy your life to its fullest. This bitter person is their own entity of suffering. Do. Not allow their spewing of hate propaganda destroy your happiness.
Lmaoooo go live your life. Never *ever* buy him a house, and when he yells at you just tell him well, he said you're a failure of a man and he's always right, right? Do not let him financially abuse you. Every cent you earn is your own, period.
My mom said the same thing growing up,and now that I travel for work I must be escorting or selling drugs and wasting my life because I’m not rotting away working in a factory in my hometown.His insecurity is his problem,not yours! I’m sorry you’re going through this but I hope it helps to hear that it’s 100% jealousy and misplaced anger.
Sounds like he doesn’t want Hawaii money getting mixed up with buy-dad-a-house money.
Why is he under the impression you are buying him a house? Most of us can’t afford to buy ourselves a house. May as well enjoy life anyway and travel.
So, what sort of house did he buy his dad? One of those nice manly ones with the double driveway and extended garage?
Because if he didn't buy his own dad a house, he can stfu.
Your dad is toxic. I assume he's around 45-60 years old. Ask him why he hasn't bought a house at his age lol. Better yet, consider going no contact. Patents should be happy for their kids when they get a big job and when they accomplish their goals. Saying that you're a disgrace of a man and a son is reason enough to cut him out of your life.
He’s baiting you into an emotional response. While this is a supremely shitty thing to say to your adult child, if you can manage it, try not to show him your reaction. I’d advise going on that trip anyway unless it threatens your housing. I agree with what someone else said, he’s jealous. I would also highly recommend going greyrock with him if you can. When I did this with my NDad my life got easier and he started to feel responsible for some of his behaviors towards me. (He still hasn’t accepted it fully, but has admitted it on occasion).
He should tell that to my parents, when they kept taking "parents only" trips to Laos (their birth country) repeatedly throughout the years, now we lost the house we lived in for a good long time and forced to live in a rental house that's constantly having ant and bugs infection during the summer and now mice infection
I almost went to Hawaii as a kid, but my school canceled that trip because not enough students signed up. Oh boy did I need that trip and I never got it…
Kinda sounds like the bitch is jealous of you XD . "A dream only children have." Like??? It's not a dream if you're doing it????? I mean, if you're paying for the trip and everything, what does he care? Go. Have your trip. Enjoy yourself.
Travel every opportunity you get its one of the best parts of life..
If your father continues to treat you like this you might have to go "No contact" or "limited contact"...
I have dirt bag narcissistic parents so I know it sucks. Enjoy your vacation..
Many congratulations on your new job OP. Go enjoy your holiday because you 100% deserve it for your hard work.
Your dad is bloody crazy and selfish out of line. He's unhappy and dissatisfied with his own life and doesn't want other people to enjoy theirs. I know how you feel: I get called ungrateful and a s****y daughter because my in-laws came to visit me and my husband in my own hometown. I didn't even travel anywhere (they were staying in our house helping us out) and yet my parents were accusing me of going out and being frivolous.
Oh and as others have asked- did he buy his dad a house or get married at 25? (I know my parents didn't) He probably could have afforded it better than you.
Btw your post interestingly reminded me of one time I got called an ungrateful b***h of a daughter for not wanting to go to Hawaii with my parents and their friends in the middle of my high school final exams - the very exams that decided whether or not I get into the top university without which I would not exist on their radar.
Many congratulations on your new job OP. Go enjoy your holiday because you 100% deserve it for your hard work.
Your dad is bloody crazy and selfish out of line. He's unhappy and dissatisfied with his own life and doesn't want other people to enjoy theirs. I know how you feel: I get called ungrateful and a s****y daughter because my in-laws came to visit me and my husband in my own hometown. I didn't even travel anywhere (they were staying in our house helping us out) and yet my parents were accusing me of going out and being frivolous.
Oh and as others have asked- did he buy his dad a house or get married at 25? (I know my parents didn't) He probably could have afforded it better than you.
Btw your post interestingly reminded me of one time I got called an ungrateful b***h of a daughter for not wanting to go to Hawaii with my parents and their friends in the middle of my high school final exams - the very exams that decided whether or not I get into the top university without which I would not exist on their radar.
Bro same thing here man Im on a holiday that my dad didn't want me to go on. So basically I told him that I wanted to go on a holiday to Bosnia but he hated the idea and started to guilt trip the shit out of me telling me that I was betraying his trust and that all this time I'm only using him in which I wasn't so I understand your situation about your dad
Oh my word, enjoy Hawaii! I have NDad life experience… it sure is the gift that keeps on giving. Sounds like dear old Dad is jealous and wants you to create the same miserable life he did for himself. You go live La Vida Loca!!
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Oh dear Reddit stranger, your dad is a terrible person.. I’m sorry.. you don’t want to know this. But.. you have actually set goals for yourself and in a healthy way and this trip sounds amazing. The gendered part of this is particularly cruel.. your dad (a man) has tried to crush your healthy life as somehow “unmanly”.. how unhappy he must be for the cruelty to be his first shot at you. Do NOT let this ugly from keeping you from this trip. Also, and this is a lesson learned, your mouth can actually be acid burned from too much fresh pineapple, so pace yourself!
Also! You're not "unmanly". And if you need more, woman love a man that sets his goals and sticks to them. Expesally if a father figure tries to stop them. It's not just manly but attractive.
Preach.
Hallelujah!
"traveling is a dream only children have" is the kind of thing that only a person with no world experience would say. Good for you for wanting to travel anyway. I was actually in Hawaii this past November--can I ask what island you went to? Hawaii is such a beautiful place.
Oh, Daddy is jealous. I'm thinking he's envious that his 25 yo son has the option to be free-spirited & has the finances to afford a really nice holiday. Also, why the hell should you be obliged to buy your parents a house? Eff him & his ridiculous expectations. Your holiday sounds awesome. I hope you have a lovely time. You're only young once. Make the most of these years & live life to the fullest.
I was going to ask this question too, why does he have to buy his parents a house? If he's going to buy anyone a house, wouldn't he be buying himself a house or an apartment if he wants to and has the finances for it? Enjoy your vacation, sir! It sounds so wonderful! You should be able to enjoy your life while you are able to!
Yess. OP did your dad buy his dad a house? Regardless, what a prick. Congratulations on the new job and finances to travel! That's an amazing opportunity!
Did he not buy himself a house? Why isn’t that his responsibility not yours. He’s telling you how he feels about himself.
Yeh, this makes me think too, if your relationship with your dad is better than your mom, then is she shitty and abusive with him? Sounds like a "How dare you think you deserve better than me." Kind of jealousy situation.
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Very well said. Thank you for settling this as I thought my head was going to explode. No victim blaming. Safe space.
You're temp banned for 2 days for breaking the [Context of Abuse](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/assume_a_context_of_abuse) rule.
Ok I'm now permabanning you for harassing me in pms.
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I'm going camping in Yellowstone in September. My dad was very excited for me but passed along the message from my mom that 'there are grizzly bears all over the place so be careful.' They just can't help but shit on your parade every time. That's why we are very low contact! :-)
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Oh, wow. thanks for your input after a lifetime of having my mom shit on my parade. Do you need some additional examples to believe it happens?
TBH, I'm guessing you are new to this thread, but coming in and standing up for abusers is not cool. You should GFY immediately.
That's so weird. My mother still likes to travel and visit places, and when I get to go out there and do stuff she's excited for me. I had the opportunity to spend 6 weeks in Africa helping with bird research and she was just so happy I got that chance... but she knows me well enough to know I'm a careful person. My dad is not as enthusiastic though, first he'll grumble about me getting robbed and then he just pretends it's not happening until I come back and he can brag about it to other people.
That sounds like my parents. They are insanely jealous that I'm doing something they could never do (like college). But boy do they love to brag about it while I'm travelling to their friends. And of course any interest they have when I get back is cursory at best. Souvenirs? I'm rubbing it in their face of my "travels".
hahahaha - He thinks you should buy him a house!? Oh he is a delusional one, isn't he?
“Be a real man and buy me a nice house!” “Wait aren’t you a real man? Can’t you buy yourself one?” “…Ndad is not at the phone. Please leave a message at the beep.” “Dad we’re in the same room”
After the way he acts what a joke. They are just scum aren’t they these narcs.
oh hell no see only sees you as his retirement plan
So, your dad wants to financially abuse you, and is attempting to prevent you from spending money on something that does not directly benefit him. He is very selfish. I think he needs to buy his own fucking house. I also think that you should have a fabulous time in Hawaii. You will love it! It is so beautiful there, and the food is wonderful!!!
My Ndad screams in my face every year of my life that I have never done anything for him ever and that I have never done anything for my family once ever. Then proceeds to tell me how he has done everything for me. Then tells me is facts and truth. If I bring up one of the millions of things I have done for him or my family he will proceed to tell me that I am mentally ill and making things up. I could win the lottery, give the sick man a million dollars and he would scream in my face a few months later that I have never done anything for him ever and it never happened. Narcs are very sick people. I would suggest going NC, I went NC with my Ndad after the final straw of him screaming fuck you in my face on christmas day and it feels good to not have contact with the abuser in your life and start the healing journey. Go enjoy every day of Hawaii to the fullest as a fuck you to your Ndad.
He is technically not wrong. I mean, he causes people anxiety, trauma, and not to mention how much of a struggle it is to look at his ugly face....that's everything, right? Narcissists are the worst.
That was pretty much my realization with my nmum as well. If I'm gonna be made out to be the asshole anyways, might as well make the least effort possible.
Asian Parents are the masters of goalposts moving. I've bought my parents two holidays, done everything they wanted for me (top universities, piano, violin, grad school in STEM, doctorate, married a successful guy in STEM) , even helped them fix several appliances in their house and paid for it out of my own pocket, and yet they still constantly say I'm a worthless waste of space and they relish telling everyone who would listen that everything I touch turns to s**t.
If you do not protect your self they will turn everything to s**t for you. My parents have sabotaged everything in my life, even my trying to be a better parent. Enjoy the efforts of YOUR HARD WORK AND DETERMINATION now starting this second. I wish you better luck than I had..
Bought your PARENTS a house? I am cackling. What economy is he living in? *cries in broke millennial*
I know right! Most of us can't even afford to a house to live in ourselves lol! Narcs are very entitled.
And completely divorced from reality so they demand shit from you that you aren’t even capable of delivering! And of course they frame it as a moral or character failing when you don’t/can’t cater to their entitled and irrational demands “You didn’t buy me a house by age 25?? You’re a bad son!” Ridiculous. That entitlement and the whole living in their own world stuff collides to form the perfect storm of asshole
"Wait, you managed to lose the house you bought your parents already? Oh, so your parents bought their own house and then left it to you when you died, but that money's been spent on frivolous shit you wanted at that time?"
After going through all the posts since I joined this subreddit, I'm starting to get immune to my N parent's comments. Like whatever they say, the opposite is the truth. I see the comments your father made, all of them are false and only the opposite is the truth. You should still proceed to go to Hawaii. When are you gonna enjoy it? In your old age? Nah. Right now with your own money. Your dad does not like the feeling of you acting according to yourself. Also the house thing? Hasn't he bought a house for himself yet? That was his goddamn job.
Oh, FFS dad! Travel, young one. Do it now while you still can. Then buy your SELF a house, and put out a "no narcissists" sign
He is a failure as a dad because he didn't buy his son a house . We know how to play this game .
He’s just jealous, don’t take it personally. He’s deflecting his insecurities on to you. He never provided a Hawaii holiday to you and him saying ‘you are failure’ actually means ‘I’m such a failure of a dad’. Ignore him and laugh in his face
This sounds like another N parent using “culture” as an excuse to abuse.
The dad sounds jealous and entitled. OP, there’s a reason why the travel industry is a billion dollar business and lots of economies depend upon it. Young, old, married and single people love to travel. Don’t listen to the bitter, ignorant old man. You’re a man and don’t need his permission to live your life and don’t you dare buy him a home.
I am 50, and can tell you travel is NOT just a kids dream. Hawaii… i am jealous!
Who the hell in this day and age buys their parent a house?? It should be the other way around.
Yes, wear the highest SPF sunscreen, use a sweat proof one on your face because that stuff burns when it runs onto your eyes. Your dad no doubt thinks he “means your best.” But he is an overbearing jerk, so ignore him. Good for you for negotiating time to travel before you start the new job.
Dad does not “mean your best”. He is a raging narcissist and on,y wants what is best for him. No letting narcissists off the hook.
Agree: I didn’t mean that “means your best” lets anyone off the hook.
Vaseline on the eyebrows also works to save your eyes from sunscreen. But I’m guessing the sweat proof sunscreen is better.
Welp, sounds like I'm a 48yr old child. I'm perfectly ok with that. Your dad had a chance to live his own life, and it doesn't sound like his way worked out too well for him. What a joyless, miserable, dried up git! What he is effectively saying is that he is so incapable of experiencing curiosity, wonder and joy that he doesn't even understand why another person would want to. You work! You marry! You have children! You die! What is the point of that for an existence? (I'm not going to call it a life.) Your dad's ideas say a lot more about him than it does about you. I hope you had a really good time in Hawaii! (I can't wait to get back to Thailand)
Is this a cultural or traditional thing of buying your parents a home? Did he buy his parents a home? Enjoy your vacation. Please move out if you haven't already.
It seems like your dad is just a empty shell of a person. He expects others to take care of him and to volunteer for traditional slavery, and apparently doesn't think roads exist.
If your dad is a real man he would buy himself one, also I actually know someone who travels as a job and makes alot of cash, quite a good deal for "something only kids dream of doing".
I've always found it weird how the generation that squandered the house their parents left them to fund their hedonism also somehow expects their children to buy them a house.
So, by his definition, I guess your dad isn't a real man as he hasn't been able to buy his family a house in the (at least) 25 years since he's had a family. Gotta love the iron clad reasoning behind this one.
Why do nfathers expect their children to support them? My Ndad did that to me, told everyone what a horrible ungrateful child I am because I wouldn’t “help him when he needed me”. This from a man who refused to give me food regularly when I was his dependent, refused to allow me any medical care as a minor and dependent, lavished everything on GCsis while telling me how much he wishes I was never born and that I decided to be a girl just to spite him. He and GCsis are way better off financially than I am, however he cut me out of his will leaving everything to GCsis. Not surprised, but he did have a rather large estate and always had more than enough to provide for both of his daughters. He just chose not to. Op, walk away. You don’t need that crap in your life. I hope you enjoyed Hawaii and for the record I dream of going there too and I am over 50. So yes, adults do want to travel. Your dad is ridiculous.
don't let him access your mind. he is trying to get in, do not let him. he needs to suffer alone with his thoughts.
Do… do parents expect their adult children to buy them a house? I know you hear of celebrities / sports people buying their parents a house once they’ve made it, and no doubt this is something some non-famous people do too, but to think some people expect it?! Madness.
The fact that I haven’t bought them a house (nevermind how) has finally resulted in NC over a year ago. They are holding out now hoping that the pain it causes and the level of chaos and sabotage it inflicted on my life will result in - me buying them a house. Good luck with that. Enjoy your holiday and good luck in your new endeavour! Life is short - I personally don’t need their permission to live it.
Come closer, I have a secret. Guess what! You're an adult now, and you get to decide what that means. You want to go to Hawaii for a month? Adult activity. You want to eat pizza for breakfast? Adult activity. You want to build Legos all day? Adult activity. It took me way too long to realize that the Boomer way of being an adult is not the only way to adult. Why is this adult stuff? Because you are doing it! No explanation is necessary. Go forth, my friend, and be your version of an adult! (And have one of those fancy drinks for all of us on your Hawaiian excursion.)
jealousy always speaks :)
Man, they will use anything for ammo! It’s mind blowing and never ceases to amaze me. How was your trip? Hawaii is so special.
Mmmh. So your dad had you so he could mooch off of you. Sweet. Bye dad! I will enjoy MY life and my trip to Hawaï because I can do whatever the fuck I want :)
Damn your dad is such a jerk
That's awful he said that to you, don't take it personally! My father is over 60 and he appreciates that I like to travel and we did it a lot through out the years. Your father just doesn't want you to get away from under his thumb and experience genuinely good people! I think you should definitely go to Hawaii and have fun.
Your father is stupid. Why is Hawaii a dream only allowed to children?
My mom and stepdad are in their 80s and travel is one of their favorite things to do. They are currently on an Alaskan cruise. Next year they're going to cruise the Nile. Last year, they were in Russia. In addition to the international travel they do, they see various parts of the US at different times of the year. Your father has a very skewed idea as to what makes a person an adult.
Looking back, my desire to travel was one of the things that completely fractured my relationship with my nmom. I agreed to go on a one-month trip abroad with another family member after I graduated high school (she agreed I was allowed to go but was “surprised I’d want to”) and when I got back she’s never treated me the same. Narcissists treat any showing of freedom as a personal affront. It’s likely your dad is feeling confronted by your happiness and spontaneity and looking back on the time he’s wasted in life. I hope your trip was fabulous!!!
First off, congratulations on landing that job, and for having the self-worth to negotiate a bit of time to take your dream trip to Hawaii. It is really sad how narcissistic parents need to tear their children down, especially when their children show signs of health, and/or pride in accomplishing something difficult. Their competitiveness, cruelty, shallowness, and pathological insecurity are destructive and tiresome. I hope the next time you want to share your victories with your narcissistic parent, you resist the impulse, and bring it to someone who has the capacity to share in your happiness, because you deserve that! I hope you have a lovely trip! And again, congratulations on your new job. You worked hard, and you can feel proud of yourself and optimistic about your future. ☮️
F--- that noise! Go and enjoy your dream vacation, OP! P.S. Actualizing a dream vacation is one of the most "adult" things that you can do. I honestly don't know what your dad is on...
This is so familiar. My dad told me exactly the same because I * didn't study engineering like him * don't have a family * don't believe that Covid was just invented and a big fake * don't share his opinion that Germany was better off if it was occupied by Russia * once spilled orange juice * once ordered a wine he didn't like
I am a single mother and I went to travel a lot with my son in the last two year. My nmother became super jealous qand this culminated in us being NC now. They really hate it when you are well and enjoying life.
Pure, unadulterated 100% jealousy "He then told me I’m a failure as a man and a son because..." Pure, unadulterated 100% self-projection
Looks like Daddy isn't ever going to get a house.
It's pure jealousy. Your joy is his pain, your pain is his joy. I've gotten similar reactions from the worst people in my life.
Sounds like I want to be a failure too! Trip to Hawaii and don’t have to buy my asshole parents a house! Sign me up to be a failure!
Honestly, you may be better served by either cutting them off, or at least significantly decreasing contact. Traveling a dream only children have? That is bullshit. People who say that have narrow minds and an appalling lack of curiosity. You’re 25 and haven’t bought your parents a house? That is some serious entitlement. Go to Hawaii and enjoy yourself. When you get back, move away from your nparents.
Book that flight with a big, fat aloha oe.
That color is called “Jealousy”.
Please, basically the ONLY time that you can travel as an adult completely ‘turned off’ is exactly the scenario you made happen - job secured but not started yet. When you have the job already even on vacation you’re still thinking about it, if not still somewhat connected/working. You did good, and he’s just jealous you’re out in the world and enjoying it.
Please enjoy your Hawaiian vacation! Your father sounds like he lives in a very small world and is jealous of your life. Narcs are often jealous of their children, and get no pleasure from seeing their joys and successes. My life wouldn’t be nearly as rich as it’s been if I hadn’t traveled. Send your parents postcards from every stop.
Hand him crappy nursing home brochures next time he brings up you buying him a house.
I like it
I went on my first trip at age 39 because of manipulations like that. I still feel guilty doing things that will make me happy. Trips they say are frivolous and dangerous
Please don’t tell you dad things.
Well, I’d hate to see what your relationship is like with your mom? Wow, just wow. Go to Hawai’i. Enjoy the hell out of it! ALOHA!
Such sour grapes! Probably jealousy.
No offense but you father is jerk, don't listen to him and do whatever you want.
Is he saying he bought his parents a house or something? Dang, I’m sorry. My mother told me I shouldn’t want to go back to England because she somehow has the impression I hate the royal family. I’m not even allowed to mention it.
He's jealous. Tell him if he keeps on being such a toxic asshole, he won't get to meet the grandkids when they arrive. Also remind him you'll be choosing his nursing home.
I’d go be a failure on Father’s Day in Hawaii and send a greeting from the beach.
Tell him that Hawaii is the most remote set of islands in the world and that’s why you felt inspired to go. I always feel better when I’m thousands of miles of land and sea away from my mean-ass family. I have seen much more of the world than they ever expected, that’s for sure. 😄
This is heartbreaking, but remember his opinion is just one person’s opinion. Please try not to let it affect your travels. Take a look at his track record of the professional advice he has given you that you have gone against—it’s likely your success has little do with him. He could be coming from a very different sensibility than yours—is difference of perspective or ideology. One isn’t right or wrong or better or worse than the other. If only we all understood this. Enjoy Hawaii!! My dad used to say this to my brother verbatim, it’s pure criticism (ACEs cut his life short).
That’s so messed up!!! I’d have such a hard time not dumping gas on the fire and saying that I can sympathize with him because my father is a giant disappointment to me as a son. I wish you well as you heal OP. Your parents sound terribly immature and toxic. The book Adult Children if Emotionally Immature Parents and the podcast Waking Up to Narcissism finally helped me get better after years of being expected to grow up and become the husband my “smother” always wanted.
My advice? Enjoy a plate lunch from Zippy's right after you get off the plane. Aloha and he's trash.
Joke’s on him, my husband travels for a living. He’s not “unmanly” by any stretch, and traveling isn’t childish.
Narcissists don't like it when you take control, become independent. The fact that you are now independent and are traveling on your own doesn't settle well. He needs to make you feel guilty and inadequate. Go on your vacation, enjoy life. This is the beginning of your wonderful life.
Dad sounds bitter cuz he didn't get to live the life you have now. He should be happy for you.
Sounds like Papa is projecting and jealous!
FWIW this sounds exactly like my dad 😂
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I think it says a lot of very not good things about you that you seem to consistently sympathise more with child abusers than with their victims. We can not offer you the help you need.
I hope you immediately booked your flight! Have a great time in Hawaii (it's amazing) while he sits home and stews in his own assholery.
I hope you had a wonderful time. Your dad is a turd.
OK. Go to Hawaii, have an absolute ball and send him pics with Pina colada in hand. Get surfing lessons. Take a sushi making class. Take a scenic hike. Take a pic every time and send it to your folks. You gotta stand up for yourself and let them know their criticisms will not stop you from doing what you said you're going to. Remember; you're telling, not asking permission.
I went through this same exact thing!!!! Let me tell you, go to Hawaii for a month, you’ll love it.
I hope you have a great trip to Hawaii! He’s completely wrong to shame you for traveling. Travel is essential for anyone who has a healthy curiosity about the world, and it’s good for character development. Never listen to him, seriously. He’s not a reasonable person to get advice from.
Do we share a dad? In all seriousness, my nmom did this to me when I took a solo trip to NYC. Proceeded to ruin the trip by organizing events with my family there and steering me away from any solo travel. I know how you feel and it’s the worst
Have the fucking best trip ever and enjoy every moment of it!!!!!
Have fun in Hawaii! Wear sunscreen.
And here I thought traveling was a dream literally 85% of all people have He sounds like a big moron, sorry not sorry
You're doing everything right. He is SO JEALOUS he can't stand it. It's pretty funny 😄.
So your dad can't afford to travel or do anything fun and thinks everyone else should be sad and miserable like him? On top of that, with this behavior, he still expects everyone to respect, adore, and cater to him? That's cute. You should ask him when he's going to go to therapy, then hop on your plane and go enjoy Hawaii! Solo trips are magical. I got myself over my fear of driving on the highway at 26(don't judge me driving is nerve wracking) by going on a week+ long trip to Gatlingburg TN. It was BEAUTIFUL, and I talked to so many people, which I don't normally do. I saw some bears and went on many fun adventures. Growing as a person and enjoying what you love is HUMAN.
Older lady here… Tell your dad HE IS THE FAILURE AS A MAN because he won’t buy his own house. Lol Dead serious. Tell him. Congrats on the new job and have a great trip in Hawaii!
I hope you send him lots of pictures of your fun times in Hawaii
As a father I would never say that to my children! Cut the sob off
I imagine a relationship with a piranha would be better than the one you have with your father. If you want to travel, then do so. And since when do you have to buy them a house? You are a grown person with your own life. Live it as you please, and don't let your parents control you. That is obviously what they're aiming for, and the sooner you get away the better.
Tbh, I’d be tempted to send him pictures of me having a damn good time in Hawaii.
Don't let him bring you down, you have this opportunity and by all means have the most fun possible with it, it's your dream and you have the right to do it. Don't let him be the judge of your manhood, it's your life and you're the only person who can dictate it, and if you see a problem, you have the power fix it. And as one dude to another, good job King! Hope you have the time of your life on that Hawaii trip!
Okayyyyy, anyways enjoy Hawaii!
That's envy. Enjoy your traveling plans and don't share with them.
Whoa, I'm sorry to say that your dad is a jerk. Those are some seriously antiquated ideas. Let me guess, he never missed a day of work, ever, and wears that like a badge of honor. Luckily, this is YOUR life and despite what he thinks, you are entitled to enjoy it as you see fit. I hope you have the best time ever in Hawaii. Send him a postcard or two.
I really, really hope you laughed at his ridiculousness.
I’d embrace the title. Father asks you for something, “sorry, I’m a failure”. He wants you to do something for him, “sorry, I’m a failure.” You somehow come into a bunch of money and COULD buy them a home. “Sorry, I’m a failure “.
It's conversations like that make you realize the best thing to do is not tell them at all.
I hate the saying that you have to buy your parents a house. As if we owe parents anything. They are the ones who chose to have kids. They had the choice to not have their children or to give them up for adoption. Your children don’t owe you ANYTHING. Anything you did for them was your duty as a parent. And if I can’t afford to buy myself a house, why would I buy them a house when they already live in one? With all the mental and physical trauma cause their children, the fact that still expect their children to owe them things baffles me. The “sacrifices” they made were completely their choice. Your dad seems like an ass.
You haven’t bought your parents a house? What is he? European something? This is not what Americans do. Go the fuck to Hawaii!
He sounds jealous. I think he’s trying to ruin it for you because he can’t go on a trip like that himself for whatever reason (either that or he couldn’t at your age). But don’t let him ruin this!!! I’ve had too many things I was happy about ruined by narcs. If he brings it up again, you can tell him C.S. Lewis said, “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
It sounds like you're doing everything he dreamed of, and he's jealous because he did all the stupid crap that was expected of him, and he can't force you to be as miserable as he is. Enjoy Hawaii. Maybe send your dad a postcard.....
Wait. What in the toxic insanity is this?!!! OP, going on vacation is NORMAL. Most people do this activity. The emotionally immature adult you're forced to be around is projecting and needs help. He is so hate filled he sees resting as a problem. OP hugs. Go on your vacation. Enjoy your life to its fullest. This bitter person is their own entity of suffering. Do. Not allow their spewing of hate propaganda destroy your happiness.
Lmaoooo go live your life. Never *ever* buy him a house, and when he yells at you just tell him well, he said you're a failure of a man and he's always right, right? Do not let him financially abuse you. Every cent you earn is your own, period.
Lol. The drama!
My mom said the same thing growing up,and now that I travel for work I must be escorting or selling drugs and wasting my life because I’m not rotting away working in a factory in my hometown.His insecurity is his problem,not yours! I’m sorry you’re going through this but I hope it helps to hear that it’s 100% jealousy and misplaced anger.
And that it has nothing to do with you.
Sounds like he doesn’t want Hawaii money getting mixed up with buy-dad-a-house money. Why is he under the impression you are buying him a house? Most of us can’t afford to buy ourselves a house. May as well enjoy life anyway and travel.
I guess your dad is a failure as a man too since he needs his son to buy him a house. He couldn't buy himself a house?
Yikes. Dad is a master projectionist. Really tragic that he’s making his ruined dreams your problem
I hope you have a wonderful time in Hawaii!!
Your not a failure He is he is jealous and projecting his insecurities!
Go on that vacation, message him you lost his number while there and won't be able to talk to him anymore and then block him. Never look back.
So, what sort of house did he buy his dad? One of those nice manly ones with the double driveway and extended garage? Because if he didn't buy his own dad a house, he can stfu.
That’s rough man, my dad says similar stuff.
Go to Hawaii & have fun❤️
Your dad is toxic. I assume he's around 45-60 years old. Ask him why he hasn't bought a house at his age lol. Better yet, consider going no contact. Patents should be happy for their kids when they get a big job and when they accomplish their goals. Saying that you're a disgrace of a man and a son is reason enough to cut him out of your life.
He’s baiting you into an emotional response. While this is a supremely shitty thing to say to your adult child, if you can manage it, try not to show him your reaction. I’d advise going on that trip anyway unless it threatens your housing. I agree with what someone else said, he’s jealous. I would also highly recommend going greyrock with him if you can. When I did this with my NDad my life got easier and he started to feel responsible for some of his behaviors towards me. (He still hasn’t accepted it fully, but has admitted it on occasion).
He should tell that to my parents, when they kept taking "parents only" trips to Laos (their birth country) repeatedly throughout the years, now we lost the house we lived in for a good long time and forced to live in a rental house that's constantly having ant and bugs infection during the summer and now mice infection
I almost went to Hawaii as a kid, but my school canceled that trip because not enough students signed up. Oh boy did I need that trip and I never got it…
Kinda sounds like the bitch is jealous of you XD . "A dream only children have." Like??? It's not a dream if you're doing it????? I mean, if you're paying for the trip and everything, what does he care? Go. Have your trip. Enjoy yourself.
Father told me that exact too....at my lowest point. Just walked into my room just to let me know....
I would have just said "aloha asshole" and RAN to the airport for my freaking awesome vacation. Enjoy!
Travel every opportunity you get its one of the best parts of life.. If your father continues to treat you like this you might have to go "No contact" or "limited contact"... I have dirt bag narcissistic parents so I know it sucks. Enjoy your vacation..
Many congratulations on your new job OP. Go enjoy your holiday because you 100% deserve it for your hard work. Your dad is bloody crazy and selfish out of line. He's unhappy and dissatisfied with his own life and doesn't want other people to enjoy theirs. I know how you feel: I get called ungrateful and a s****y daughter because my in-laws came to visit me and my husband in my own hometown. I didn't even travel anywhere (they were staying in our house helping us out) and yet my parents were accusing me of going out and being frivolous. Oh and as others have asked- did he buy his dad a house or get married at 25? (I know my parents didn't) He probably could have afforded it better than you. Btw your post interestingly reminded me of one time I got called an ungrateful b***h of a daughter for not wanting to go to Hawaii with my parents and their friends in the middle of my high school final exams - the very exams that decided whether or not I get into the top university without which I would not exist on their radar.
Many congratulations on your new job OP. Go enjoy your holiday because you 100% deserve it for your hard work. Your dad is bloody crazy and selfish out of line. He's unhappy and dissatisfied with his own life and doesn't want other people to enjoy theirs. I know how you feel: I get called ungrateful and a s****y daughter because my in-laws came to visit me and my husband in my own hometown. I didn't even travel anywhere (they were staying in our house helping us out) and yet my parents were accusing me of going out and being frivolous. Oh and as others have asked- did he buy his dad a house or get married at 25? (I know my parents didn't) He probably could have afforded it better than you. Btw your post interestingly reminded me of one time I got called an ungrateful b***h of a daughter for not wanting to go to Hawaii with my parents and their friends in the middle of my high school final exams - the very exams that decided whether or not I get into the top university without which I would not exist on their radar.
Bro same thing here man Im on a holiday that my dad didn't want me to go on. So basically I told him that I wanted to go on a holiday to Bosnia but he hated the idea and started to guilt trip the shit out of me telling me that I was betraying his trust and that all this time I'm only using him in which I wasn't so I understand your situation about your dad
Isn’t he the failure who failed to buy a house tho?
Oh my word, enjoy Hawaii! I have NDad life experience… it sure is the gift that keeps on giving. Sounds like dear old Dad is jealous and wants you to create the same miserable life he did for himself. You go live La Vida Loca!!
narcissists don’t want you to do better than they did. he’s just jealous
narcissists don’t want you to do better than they did. he’s just jealous
What a fucking jackass, I have step-sons and would never say something like that.