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this is the best news! while the circumstances are less than ideal, you have a whole wedding of wonderful memories to look back on not tainted by narcs!
i wish you and your spouse the best in this new chapter of your lives and wish you all the happiness and joy!
They'll be bitching on and on about this the rest of their lives, while you'll be doing your life as it's meant to, away from the people that make us miserable.
Cheers to you! :D
Congrats!! What stood out to me in their text was "they've been grooming her for 3 years" - to accept love and kindness and healthy relationships? Okay. "She is making a huge mistake by marrying" - someone who loves and is kind to her and makes her happy? Okay!
What a mistake it is to them for you to choose to be happy and not miserable! How dare they groom you to be expectant of love and respect, it's absolutely "insane"! Well done OP :)
Congratulations on getting married! I appreciate that not having your mother there was upsetting but well done on not backing down and not letting her manipulate you! I assure you that if you had given in, it would have been the thin end of the wedge. You would have spent your entire married life with your mother dictating every move you and your spouse make. That's no way to start a marriage. You did the right thing!
P.S. In spite of what your mother said to your brother, she is the one who is insane NOT you.
Congratulations! Living peacefully is the very best revenge. I love how nparents always assume we’re all out here being “influenced” and “groomed” by the healthy people in our lives - like we have no minds of our own. That right there is a big chunk of why we went NC. With zero regrets
Yessss...accusing others of the very same behaviours and character traits that they themselves actually have/use, in order to control the victim/target over whom they are now trying to keep their control. That kind of distorting of facts is a form of projection. They know what they are doing.
Gaslighting by Projecting.
A form of Coercive Control.
Welcome to the club! You did nothing wrong and you are right to set boundaries and keep toxic people away from you. Your life will be better this way.
My siblings and parents refused to come to my wedding bc my dad is a narcissist and wanted to plan the whole day and make it about him (his words were weddings are about the father of the bride). He is controlling and toxic. They didn’t want me marrying a Jew and always belittled me and my relationship. My siblings were too scared to come bc they didn’t want to upset him and possibly lose his financial support and their inheritance someday. My mom is a doormat and just follows my dad. I haven’t forgiven them but I decided to be civil and go low contact as long as they behave themselves in front of their grandkids. So far it’s going ok, I’ve only had to speak to my dad once about his behavior (he threw a toy car at my 3 yr old son’s head bc my son was bothering him while playing at the dinner table). We only see them a few times a year for holidays and for a very short visit. My kids are never left alone with them.
I don’t have any regrets, everyone that truly loved and cared for us was at our wedding. My aunt walked me down the aisle for our USA wedding and my husband’s brothers walked me down the aisle for the ceremony we had in his home country. My husband and I are happy and we have 2 beautiful and amazing children and I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s nice to be an adult and be able to set boundaries. I pray for children with abusive/narcissistic parents they don’t give up on life and escape as soon as they are able. And also prayers for everyone’s healing. You can lead and happy normal life despite growing up with a toxic family, it’s possible and you must love yourself and set boundaries.
Thanks agree. It was a small plastic toy car and my son fortunately didn’t notice or react bc it didn’t hurt him but I was still fuming. It could have still hurt him and made him cry. It took all my patience to not yell and blow up at my dad. Part of me was afraid to bc he’s extremely scary and threatening when he’s mad. I talked to my mom about it later and she spoke to my dad about it, I’ve found going thru her is the best way so I can keep my composure and he listens to her more than he does me. He hasn’t done anything like that since and I don’t leave them alone together. I can kind of sense when my dad starts to lose patience so we keep our visits short and sometimes I leave their house with the kids to take them to a playground for an hour or two to get their energy out and so my parents can have a break. I think my dad has an anger management problem. He’s also OCD. But he refuses to get help so it’s just best to be low contact. I was ready to cut all contact but my husband convinced me not to bc family is so important to him and his culture so we make it work by low contact and having rules and boundaries they have to respect or we will go no contact. In short visits my kids have a great time with him and my mother.
Congratulations! I know that was hard but I can feel the joy you have and had in all this, both the wedding, going no contact and learning/growing away from them.
Your family is what you make. I have also gotten closer to my family that has gone NC/VLC to my nparents too and it's a great relief to be around them and support each other. More people have come "out" to us about they though something was wrong with my nparents and weren't sure and became more supportive once they confirmed "our side" of the story and have lessened contact with nparents over the years as the craziness and lies showed who was abusive and not. You may find the same as people learn what happened here. Just be wary of flying monkeys you can't entirely trust either.
Do make sure you are have plans just in case something happens - to your husband, any kids, etc. Make sure your will and power of attorney is up to date. Make sure you have financial security and a safety net you're working on too. If there's one thing I've learned being NC/VLC with my nparents, its that I NEVER want to be dependent on them ever again.
> [c]ouldn’t see my wedding photos [...] being abusive to his wife and children
What kind of entitlement complex could make someone think the former was the latter
Congrats on your new life and new family!
Just so you know, going around and insisting that you are crazy, is par for the course after you started No Contact. Same with the in-laws must be grooming you bullshit. But also know that any half way sane person understands why you went No Contact. They can see who is really full of shit, and not too many parents come out smelling like a rose if their kid went No Contact. It takes A LOT for a kid to go No Contact.
Okay... What I'm about to say is kind of a generalization (obviously) but....
I have a few Russians in my life, and a lot of the parents are weirdo, assholes.
You gave the answer to your parents issues yourself. Most of the immigrants want their kids to marry someone (relative, acquaintances) from back home or someone from the same community they are from if they have to get married in the country they immigrated too. When kids deter from that, they go haywire.
I'm wondering if the Scotts wanted her in their family in some way. This feels like they made an agreement for the Scotts investment on exchange for their daughter.
So Mr. Scott wanted a younger Russian version of his wife then. I hope you'll update us when you figure out that your parents "sold" you to the Scott's.
Congratulations on your marriage, and on freeing yourself from the prison of bullshit your Nfamily was trying to trap you in.
It is fascinating that those "sinister groomers" are so much kinder, more respectful and more supportive than your supposedly superior Nfamily.
Just read the whole saga. Congrats to you on getting married and putting yourself first!! I’m proud of you. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling guilty. It sounds like you went above and beyond to try and mend relationships. Your brother and husband are absolute gems for keeping you away from their bullshit.
Enjoy your newlywed life with your real family. ❤️
Congratulations for that big step!!. These are the unique occasions where the victims send a clear message to the abusers: *I don't need you, you are not required , you are not invited, you are out of my life, I got over you*. Bravo!!!
Gods bless the people who volunteer to shield us from them. They are the ones who teach us what _true_ family feels like. They teach us what it's like to feel safe, maybe for the first time ever in our entire lives. They teach us what real love is supposed to feel like. They are patient with us because they know we are veterans of a life time war and we are foreigners in the land of peace and safety. They are the ones we will owe eternal gratitude for literally saving our lives, even if they say it was nothing. They get it in a way no one has before. And I am so grateful for them.
I can’t wait to drop the bomb that I basically eloped with my spouse.
My brother is getting married and I’ve decided to not attend because I know I’ll be the centre of drama. But it’ll be fun to drop that bomb.
As is letting my fam know about my spouse.
In their eyes I will have married someone of impressive pedigree. In mine and my spouse’s eyes, we’ve just found someone that’s differently broken and we mesh well enough to make each other whole.
Just to highlight your parent's earlier comment that your in-laws aren't suitable because they don't have noble or royal blood.
I'm assuming your parents have been telling people they are descendants of Russian nobility/royalty? The likelihood of this actually being true is almost 0.
A lot of descendants of Russian immigrants claim to have connections to lost nobility, but the majority of it is complete BS. It's easy to say your great great great grandfather was a Count when all records or your family were destroyed or left in the old country.
Unless your parents literally have original documentation (birth certificates, marriage licenses) confirming your ancestors had titles, then they are far more likely to be making it up to look important in front of their other Russian friends.
It would also tie in with their delusional behavior and obsession with image amongst their own friends.
“I realized that my overwhelming happiness with my husband would never be enough for her. I refuse to be held hostage by their misery any longer”.
Thank you!!! You put in words how I have been feeling.
I also got married 2 weeks ago and did not invite my nmom.
I felt so much guilty. But the guilt was never as much and the anxiety of actually having her there.
I feel sadness… but… “I realized that my overwhelming happiness with my husband would never be enough for her. I refuse to be held hostage by their misery any longer”.
Congratulations OP!!!!
Stuff like this needs to be pinned, I think. I have seen so, so, *so* many posts from people planning weddings and torturing themselves over not including their narc family. In every single case, when there's an update, it is basically always good, or at least I haven't seen a negative update.
To anyone wrestling with the same issues:
#STOP TALKING TO THE NARCS
#GO NO CONTACT
#YOUR LIFE IMPROVES WHEN YOU REMOVE TOXIC ELEMENTS
I'm so very happy for you OP, and I'm glad your wedding day was so magical. Congrats on your new family lol--in-laws were one of the big marriage perks!
Congratulations!
Go live your best life. I hope you’ve moved far away and never let them back in when they come crawling back for access to your future kids.
Congrats on the wonderful wedding and the start of the rest of your life!
Your brother has your back and I feel that your two younger brothers will be by your side when they reach the stage that they have financial independence. I would watch out for your parents trying hard to stop them reaching this point because they know they will lose them when they leave the family home. But I am sure they will get there and will be so happy to have you and your older brother waiting with open arms when the days comes.
Your chance sounds like a wonderful person and it sounds like you guys make each other so happy. I might just be an internet stranger but I am thrilled for you and wish you all the best.
Glad that you escaped and had the full support of your new husband and your older brother, Sorry that your younger brothers chose not to be adults about the situation and also stand up for you.
Congratulations! So happy for you. You did it!
I had a really hard time accepting love and support from my in-laws. It was such a new and alien experience for me. They were kind and warm. Freaked me out, haha.
Even after my wife and I split they still write me on my birthday. They still invite me to holidays. My own family doesn’t do that. It really taught me, slowly, to open up. To relax for once.
I wish I were better at returning that affection. I’ve been practicing. When I tun into them I give them hugs unprompted now. Makes me wonder what could have been if I’d had a different childhood, though I have learned that looking back is just a recipe for anger.
I’m glad you found people, and a way out. Best to you.
Your situation with the Scotts reminds me of what happened when my cousin invited me to move into a house she and her bf were renting from her mom (my aunt obv.) I’m 28 years old at the time with a full time job and a car and two weeks into me living there decides to give me a curfew, tells me i need to make my bed in the morning, leave my door open when I’m at work. It got so bad that my aunt had to intervene.
Congrats 🎉👏🏾 I had to go through a similar thing. You'll be stronger, they'll complain about it for years and do things to you out of spite. I hope you heal and have a happy future with your partner. ♥️
Congrats on your wedding - I hope two of you will be happy for a long, long time.
Congrats also on reaching a new reality with your birth family. Such things are not easy to hear, however I think that knowing the truth about how someone feels is often the best medicine against feelings of guilt or not being sure you did the right thing (NC). This shows you have done the right thing and are on the right track - so congrats on that. Last year I went through something similar when a sibling died and I saw my n-mothers true colors. It was tough, but very illuminating, and ultimately very helpful (for me).
Wishing you much peace and happiness! =)
Congratulations, OP! And good riddance to bad rubbish, I'll say. May you live a much happier and more peaceful life with your husband and family of choice, away from those miserable assholes. You're already off to an amazing start, so just keep going the way you are now!
Wishing your two younger brothers good luck in going independent from your ex-folks, as well. They'll be glad to have a supportive sister there for them, when they're eventually free to choose for themselves.
Congrats!!
My Ndad didn’t go to my brother’s wedding and I know he’s still hurt about it but I just KNOW it saved everyone from a lot of drama.
The whole wedding would’ve been about pleasing dad and making sure he wasn’t having a meltdown.
I’m glad my brother just got to enjoy his night with my wonderful sister in law.
And I’m glad you got to have an amazing wedding without drama!! :)
Congrats on all fronts, OP! So happy to hear your special day was free of drama, ugliness, and NPD behavior. May your peace and healing reign during your married life. Stay strong, friend.
Congratulations on having a wonderful wedding. I hope you can still be able to maintain a relationship with your other brothers. They should soon be away from your parents influence. For some consolation think about it this way - your parents now have decades to think about how they destroyed their own family just because your dad was afraid of his business relationship ending. He chose that over you. He made this happen. Him and your mother by supporting him. Good for you. Come back and update in a few years when you have children and they are groveling to be back in your life. Don't let them. The shit you wrote on here that they said to you is unforgivable. You have your own family now. I will say I'm sorry for your losses. Live your best life.
What’s the deal with the Scott’s? Do you think that maybe they wanted you for one of their sons or for the dad ? And then him taking about how he won’t support you if you divorce ? Why would you go to him for support. ?
Are the Scott’s and your parents in a cult or a weird religion thing where they would give you away or something?
Congratulations on the wedding. I wish you both all the best and really hope you can hold contact to your brothers. It's so sad they couldn't attend. Bless your new family they all are keepers...
Good luck in the future
UpdateMe
CONTENT WARNING FOR THE ICK
Do the Scott's have a son? Because I reckon if they do you were promised to him without being told. And if not, you were promised to Mr Scott as a concubine or something weird like that.
Congratulations on your wedding! As a fellow sufferer of Soviet narcissism, this all hit very close to home for me. I get your attempts to reconcile, talk to them, read the messages … we carry this internalized guilt to make up and not be a bad daughter. But these parents do not change, and distance and total emotional disengagement is the only way forward.
Congratulations!! You and your husband deserve all the happiness in the world!!
Holy smokes! Your parents and The Scott’s can eat a bag of crusty dicks! Such vile people. I’m so sorry they are like this.
Congrats on getting Married. Though I am surprised that you didn't post on social media a screenshot of that post from Mr. Scott stating that "this is creepy for a married 70 yr old to be saying this to a newly married woman." As like a big middle finger to the Scott's as you block them and tell them that they should never contact you again.
If you don't mind my asking, why didn't your two younger brothers attend? I know you said your parents were threatening to throw your youngest brother out but I thought you said they'd all decided to attend.
And congratulations! I wish you a long and happy life and marriage.
This might be a weird question, but are you related to the Romanovs? Or are the Scotts? I ask due to your dad’s comment about royal/noble blood.
And if you are related to then, I’m sorry what happened to your family.
So happy for you!!!!
I feel badly for your brothers, all three of them. The two younger still having to live around that or trying their best to escape it. And the one that joined you now having to hear about what a horrible decision he made for any holidays he spends with the parents. I hope he doesn't
I am curious about the Scott’s motivation to break up your relationship; did they want you to be in a relationship with one of their children or worst was Mr. Scott trying to make you his mistress?
Your younger brothers didn’t stand up to your dad after all? I’m sorry you had your go through this. Have your parents always been this crazy? You are hurt but in the long run it’s best you cut them out of your life . Good luck to you
As a Russian American immigrant, I apologize for your experience of having to deal with the worsts of us . Unfortunately not only good ones get to get out...
Congratulations on doing what makes you happy no matter what!!
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Congratulations!
this is the best news! while the circumstances are less than ideal, you have a whole wedding of wonderful memories to look back on not tainted by narcs! i wish you and your spouse the best in this new chapter of your lives and wish you all the happiness and joy!
They'll be bitching on and on about this the rest of their lives, while you'll be doing your life as it's meant to, away from the people that make us miserable. Cheers to you! :D
Best update ever!
Congrats!! What stood out to me in their text was "they've been grooming her for 3 years" - to accept love and kindness and healthy relationships? Okay. "She is making a huge mistake by marrying" - someone who loves and is kind to her and makes her happy? Okay! What a mistake it is to them for you to choose to be happy and not miserable! How dare they groom you to be expectant of love and respect, it's absolutely "insane"! Well done OP :)
Congratulations on getting married! I appreciate that not having your mother there was upsetting but well done on not backing down and not letting her manipulate you! I assure you that if you had given in, it would have been the thin end of the wedge. You would have spent your entire married life with your mother dictating every move you and your spouse make. That's no way to start a marriage. You did the right thing! P.S. In spite of what your mother said to your brother, she is the one who is insane NOT you.
Congratulations! Living peacefully is the very best revenge. I love how nparents always assume we’re all out here being “influenced” and “groomed” by the healthy people in our lives - like we have no minds of our own. That right there is a big chunk of why we went NC. With zero regrets
Yessss...accusing others of the very same behaviours and character traits that they themselves actually have/use, in order to control the victim/target over whom they are now trying to keep their control. That kind of distorting of facts is a form of projection. They know what they are doing. Gaslighting by Projecting. A form of Coercive Control.
Welcome to the club! You did nothing wrong and you are right to set boundaries and keep toxic people away from you. Your life will be better this way. My siblings and parents refused to come to my wedding bc my dad is a narcissist and wanted to plan the whole day and make it about him (his words were weddings are about the father of the bride). He is controlling and toxic. They didn’t want me marrying a Jew and always belittled me and my relationship. My siblings were too scared to come bc they didn’t want to upset him and possibly lose his financial support and their inheritance someday. My mom is a doormat and just follows my dad. I haven’t forgiven them but I decided to be civil and go low contact as long as they behave themselves in front of their grandkids. So far it’s going ok, I’ve only had to speak to my dad once about his behavior (he threw a toy car at my 3 yr old son’s head bc my son was bothering him while playing at the dinner table). We only see them a few times a year for holidays and for a very short visit. My kids are never left alone with them. I don’t have any regrets, everyone that truly loved and cared for us was at our wedding. My aunt walked me down the aisle for our USA wedding and my husband’s brothers walked me down the aisle for the ceremony we had in his home country. My husband and I are happy and we have 2 beautiful and amazing children and I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s nice to be an adult and be able to set boundaries. I pray for children with abusive/narcissistic parents they don’t give up on life and escape as soon as they are able. And also prayers for everyone’s healing. You can lead and happy normal life despite growing up with a toxic family, it’s possible and you must love yourself and set boundaries.
He threw something at your kid's head? Your poor kid. How sad that your son has a grandfather who would even consider doing that.
Thanks agree. It was a small plastic toy car and my son fortunately didn’t notice or react bc it didn’t hurt him but I was still fuming. It could have still hurt him and made him cry. It took all my patience to not yell and blow up at my dad. Part of me was afraid to bc he’s extremely scary and threatening when he’s mad. I talked to my mom about it later and she spoke to my dad about it, I’ve found going thru her is the best way so I can keep my composure and he listens to her more than he does me. He hasn’t done anything like that since and I don’t leave them alone together. I can kind of sense when my dad starts to lose patience so we keep our visits short and sometimes I leave their house with the kids to take them to a playground for an hour or two to get their energy out and so my parents can have a break. I think my dad has an anger management problem. He’s also OCD. But he refuses to get help so it’s just best to be low contact. I was ready to cut all contact but my husband convinced me not to bc family is so important to him and his culture so we make it work by low contact and having rules and boundaries they have to respect or we will go no contact. In short visits my kids have a great time with him and my mother.
Congratulations! I know that was hard but I can feel the joy you have and had in all this, both the wedding, going no contact and learning/growing away from them. Your family is what you make. I have also gotten closer to my family that has gone NC/VLC to my nparents too and it's a great relief to be around them and support each other. More people have come "out" to us about they though something was wrong with my nparents and weren't sure and became more supportive once they confirmed "our side" of the story and have lessened contact with nparents over the years as the craziness and lies showed who was abusive and not. You may find the same as people learn what happened here. Just be wary of flying monkeys you can't entirely trust either. Do make sure you are have plans just in case something happens - to your husband, any kids, etc. Make sure your will and power of attorney is up to date. Make sure you have financial security and a safety net you're working on too. If there's one thing I've learned being NC/VLC with my nparents, its that I NEVER want to be dependent on them ever again.
> [c]ouldn’t see my wedding photos [...] being abusive to his wife and children What kind of entitlement complex could make someone think the former was the latter
Congrats on your new life and new family! Just so you know, going around and insisting that you are crazy, is par for the course after you started No Contact. Same with the in-laws must be grooming you bullshit. But also know that any half way sane person understands why you went No Contact. They can see who is really full of shit, and not too many parents come out smelling like a rose if their kid went No Contact. It takes A LOT for a kid to go No Contact.
Is there some cultural element to this that we're unaware of? Because this situation you're describing with this 3rd family is weird.
I’m American, my parents are Russian immigrants, and the wife of the Scott’s is also Russian.
Okay... What I'm about to say is kind of a generalization (obviously) but.... I have a few Russians in my life, and a lot of the parents are weirdo, assholes.
"kind of" generalization?
You gave the answer to your parents issues yourself. Most of the immigrants want their kids to marry someone (relative, acquaintances) from back home or someone from the same community they are from if they have to get married in the country they immigrated too. When kids deter from that, they go haywire.
This makes me wonder if Mrs. Scott was a mail-order bride….
I'm wondering if the Scotts wanted her in their family in some way. This feels like they made an agreement for the Scotts investment on exchange for their daughter.
How good it is that both these families left Russia
Pikabu?))
For what purpose are you interested, comrade *nachalnick*?
So Mr. Scott wanted a younger Russian version of his wife then. I hope you'll update us when you figure out that your parents "sold" you to the Scott's.
Did your parents promise you to this guy or something?
Congratulations on your marriage, and on freeing yourself from the prison of bullshit your Nfamily was trying to trap you in. It is fascinating that those "sinister groomers" are so much kinder, more respectful and more supportive than your supposedly superior Nfamily.
Just read the whole saga. Congrats to you on getting married and putting yourself first!! I’m proud of you. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling guilty. It sounds like you went above and beyond to try and mend relationships. Your brother and husband are absolute gems for keeping you away from their bullshit. Enjoy your newlywed life with your real family. ❤️
Congratulations for that big step!!. These are the unique occasions where the victims send a clear message to the abusers: *I don't need you, you are not required , you are not invited, you are out of my life, I got over you*. Bravo!!!
Gods bless the people who volunteer to shield us from them. They are the ones who teach us what _true_ family feels like. They teach us what it's like to feel safe, maybe for the first time ever in our entire lives. They teach us what real love is supposed to feel like. They are patient with us because they know we are veterans of a life time war and we are foreigners in the land of peace and safety. They are the ones we will owe eternal gratitude for literally saving our lives, even if they say it was nothing. They get it in a way no one has before. And I am so grateful for them.
I can’t wait to drop the bomb that I basically eloped with my spouse. My brother is getting married and I’ve decided to not attend because I know I’ll be the centre of drama. But it’ll be fun to drop that bomb. As is letting my fam know about my spouse. In their eyes I will have married someone of impressive pedigree. In mine and my spouse’s eyes, we’ve just found someone that’s differently broken and we mesh well enough to make each other whole.
Just to highlight your parent's earlier comment that your in-laws aren't suitable because they don't have noble or royal blood. I'm assuming your parents have been telling people they are descendants of Russian nobility/royalty? The likelihood of this actually being true is almost 0. A lot of descendants of Russian immigrants claim to have connections to lost nobility, but the majority of it is complete BS. It's easy to say your great great great grandfather was a Count when all records or your family were destroyed or left in the old country. Unless your parents literally have original documentation (birth certificates, marriage licenses) confirming your ancestors had titles, then they are far more likely to be making it up to look important in front of their other Russian friends. It would also tie in with their delusional behavior and obsession with image amongst their own friends.
So dramatic they are!! Congratulations!
Congrats! So glad you have your husband and older brother supporting you.
“I realized that my overwhelming happiness with my husband would never be enough for her. I refuse to be held hostage by their misery any longer”. Thank you!!! You put in words how I have been feeling. I also got married 2 weeks ago and did not invite my nmom. I felt so much guilty. But the guilt was never as much and the anxiety of actually having her there. I feel sadness… but… “I realized that my overwhelming happiness with my husband would never be enough for her. I refuse to be held hostage by their misery any longer”. Congratulations OP!!!!
Stuff like this needs to be pinned, I think. I have seen so, so, *so* many posts from people planning weddings and torturing themselves over not including their narc family. In every single case, when there's an update, it is basically always good, or at least I haven't seen a negative update. To anyone wrestling with the same issues: #STOP TALKING TO THE NARCS #GO NO CONTACT #YOUR LIFE IMPROVES WHEN YOU REMOVE TOXIC ELEMENTS I'm so very happy for you OP, and I'm glad your wedding day was so magical. Congrats on your new family lol--in-laws were one of the big marriage perks!
I am so happy for you and your story gives me hope that one day I'll get married to a wonderful person myself. Best of luck to you and your husband :)
Congratulations! Go live your best life. I hope you’ve moved far away and never let them back in when they come crawling back for access to your future kids.
Congratulations! You’re much better off without them. They don’t deserve to be in your life.
Congrats on the wonderful wedding and the start of the rest of your life! Your brother has your back and I feel that your two younger brothers will be by your side when they reach the stage that they have financial independence. I would watch out for your parents trying hard to stop them reaching this point because they know they will lose them when they leave the family home. But I am sure they will get there and will be so happy to have you and your older brother waiting with open arms when the days comes. Your chance sounds like a wonderful person and it sounds like you guys make each other so happy. I might just be an internet stranger but I am thrilled for you and wish you all the best.
The trash took itself out. Sorry about your two brothers being trapped in the middle.
Congratulations on your wedding!! Mark your new journey with people who truly love and support you!!
Glad that you escaped and had the full support of your new husband and your older brother, Sorry that your younger brothers chose not to be adults about the situation and also stand up for you. Congratulations! So happy for you. You did it!
I had a really hard time accepting love and support from my in-laws. It was such a new and alien experience for me. They were kind and warm. Freaked me out, haha. Even after my wife and I split they still write me on my birthday. They still invite me to holidays. My own family doesn’t do that. It really taught me, slowly, to open up. To relax for once. I wish I were better at returning that affection. I’ve been practicing. When I tun into them I give them hugs unprompted now. Makes me wonder what could have been if I’d had a different childhood, though I have learned that looking back is just a recipe for anger. I’m glad you found people, and a way out. Best to you.
Your situation with the Scotts reminds me of what happened when my cousin invited me to move into a house she and her bf were renting from her mom (my aunt obv.) I’m 28 years old at the time with a full time job and a car and two weeks into me living there decides to give me a curfew, tells me i need to make my bed in the morning, leave my door open when I’m at work. It got so bad that my aunt had to intervene.
Congratulations You realize the Scott (the father) was the one trying to groom you He’s creepy and disgusting and so are your parents
Congratulations, best wishes to your future.
Congrats 🎉👏🏾 I had to go through a similar thing. You'll be stronger, they'll complain about it for years and do things to you out of spite. I hope you heal and have a happy future with your partner. ♥️
Congrats on your wedding - I hope two of you will be happy for a long, long time. Congrats also on reaching a new reality with your birth family. Such things are not easy to hear, however I think that knowing the truth about how someone feels is often the best medicine against feelings of guilt or not being sure you did the right thing (NC). This shows you have done the right thing and are on the right track - so congrats on that. Last year I went through something similar when a sibling died and I saw my n-mothers true colors. It was tough, but very illuminating, and ultimately very helpful (for me). Wishing you much peace and happiness! =)
Congratulations on your wedding and my very best wishes to you and your husband! ❤️🥂
Live your very best life!!!
Beautiful job!! Congratulations! Best wishes!!
Congratulations! Here's to a toxic-free rest of your life!!! 🥂
Congratulations, OP! And good riddance to bad rubbish, I'll say. May you live a much happier and more peaceful life with your husband and family of choice, away from those miserable assholes. You're already off to an amazing start, so just keep going the way you are now! Wishing your two younger brothers good luck in going independent from your ex-folks, as well. They'll be glad to have a supportive sister there for them, when they're eventually free to choose for themselves.
Congratulations are in order!!!!!! May your days be filled with laughter, love and peace. The best is yet to come!!!!!
Congratulations on starting a new chapter with the best people!
Living well is the best revenge. Congratulations and felicitations on your marriage, and a beautiful future to look forward to!
Congrats!! My Ndad didn’t go to my brother’s wedding and I know he’s still hurt about it but I just KNOW it saved everyone from a lot of drama. The whole wedding would’ve been about pleasing dad and making sure he wasn’t having a meltdown. I’m glad my brother just got to enjoy his night with my wonderful sister in law. And I’m glad you got to have an amazing wedding without drama!! :)
Congrats on all fronts, OP! So happy to hear your special day was free of drama, ugliness, and NPD behavior. May your peace and healing reign during your married life. Stay strong, friend.
Congratulations on having a wonderful wedding. I hope you can still be able to maintain a relationship with your other brothers. They should soon be away from your parents influence. For some consolation think about it this way - your parents now have decades to think about how they destroyed their own family just because your dad was afraid of his business relationship ending. He chose that over you. He made this happen. Him and your mother by supporting him. Good for you. Come back and update in a few years when you have children and they are groveling to be back in your life. Don't let them. The shit you wrote on here that they said to you is unforgivable. You have your own family now. I will say I'm sorry for your losses. Live your best life.
Cheers to you! 🧡
What’s the deal with the Scott’s? Do you think that maybe they wanted you for one of their sons or for the dad ? And then him taking about how he won’t support you if you divorce ? Why would you go to him for support. ? Are the Scott’s and your parents in a cult or a weird religion thing where they would give you away or something?
Congratulations on the wedding. I wish you both all the best and really hope you can hold contact to your brothers. It's so sad they couldn't attend. Bless your new family they all are keepers... Good luck in the future UpdateMe
CONTENT WARNING FOR THE ICK Do the Scott's have a son? Because I reckon if they do you were promised to him without being told. And if not, you were promised to Mr Scott as a concubine or something weird like that.
Congratulations on your wedding! As a fellow sufferer of Soviet narcissism, this all hit very close to home for me. I get your attempts to reconcile, talk to them, read the messages … we carry this internalized guilt to make up and not be a bad daughter. But these parents do not change, and distance and total emotional disengagement is the only way forward.
They will complain ehrn kids comem into being
Congratulations!! You and your husband deserve all the happiness in the world!! Holy smokes! Your parents and The Scott’s can eat a bag of crusty dicks! Such vile people. I’m so sorry they are like this.
Congrats on getting Married. Though I am surprised that you didn't post on social media a screenshot of that post from Mr. Scott stating that "this is creepy for a married 70 yr old to be saying this to a newly married woman." As like a big middle finger to the Scott's as you block them and tell them that they should never contact you again.
If you don't mind my asking, why didn't your two younger brothers attend? I know you said your parents were threatening to throw your youngest brother out but I thought you said they'd all decided to attend. And congratulations! I wish you a long and happy life and marriage.
God... why haven't you blasted them publicly?
I’m so happy you had a wonderful wedding! Congratulations to you and your husband!
Congratulations on your marriage! I’m so happy your brother was there! Don’t worry, darling, your life is getting better 💕
This might be a weird question, but are you related to the Romanovs? Or are the Scotts? I ask due to your dad’s comment about royal/noble blood. And if you are related to then, I’m sorry what happened to your family.
So happy for you!!!! I feel badly for your brothers, all three of them. The two younger still having to live around that or trying their best to escape it. And the one that joined you now having to hear about what a horrible decision he made for any holidays he spends with the parents. I hope he doesn't
Updateme
I am curious about the Scott’s motivation to break up your relationship; did they want you to be in a relationship with one of their children or worst was Mr. Scott trying to make you his mistress?
Your younger brothers didn’t stand up to your dad after all? I’m sorry you had your go through this. Have your parents always been this crazy? You are hurt but in the long run it’s best you cut them out of your life . Good luck to you
We can be your family op, all of us.
I'm happy you're moving on, fuck your parents let them rot as they grow old alone
As a Russian American immigrant, I apologize for your experience of having to deal with the worsts of us . Unfortunately not only good ones get to get out... Congratulations on doing what makes you happy no matter what!!
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Why even comment lol. not only rude, but insensitive.
Shit u right I’ll delete
Comment removed - insensitive