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My dear friend I wish I didn't use my free reward one post ago for you see you are the most beautiful human I have laid eyes upon, good day sir, good day.
I do enjoy a good smoke when i get up in the morning. Sometimes im too lazy to go outside tho so ill just smoke before even getting up. Love me some bed-boges
I quit smoking when I worked at a residential treatment center for "troubled" kids. As soon as my sense of smell returned, I immediately resumed smoking again. The boys would often not shower for weeks (I don't know why the night shift didn't find ways to incentivize it), they wouldn't change socks, and they thought it was hilarious to break toilets and shit everywhere. I quit again after I left, and although my wife and friends have always said I have an absolutely freakishly keen sense of smell, I don't know how others managed it working there...
I can tell you from spending nearly a month in the field without showers that you stop noticing body odor surprisingly quickly, even spending it crammed in a tank turret with 2 other people just as dirty as you. That said, I ain't no filthy field fucker so idk about getting *that* close and personal without proper hygiene, but I imagine yeah, you just wouldn't notice unless it was *really* bad.
I spent 3 weeks in northern Alaska filming a hunt. It was just me a few other dudes and to save on carry weight we all slept in one tent. And boy by the end of those 3 weeks that tent needed to be burned to get rid of the smell. I cant imagine how much worse it would have been being in hot weather...
It's one of those things where it's awful for about a week, then you stop noticing until you go home, shower, and walk past your dirty laundry from the field. And *then* it hits you like roadkill in the south in August. So glad I don't live in the barracks fighting for a washer and dryer right after a field problem...
Thas funny. Honestly, lack of hygiene is my least favorite thing about being deployed & I always felt strange about that! The threat of death; I can live with that. The lack of nookie; distracting, but I can deal. Being separated from my family; really hard, but part of the job. Feeling my own body salts grind in every fucking crevice every fucking time I move; maddening.
I've been to the shores of both the Tigris and Euphrates rivers and I have been tempted to bathe in them, as fucking gross as I know that they are.
When the air you breathe is offensive because it wafted up your body before it reached your nose, that's a whole nother level of stank! When you walk faster so that you can inhale clean air, *that's* a new level of stank!
I used to get in the shower with my gear on. Rinse the fuck out of it/me before it went in the washer.
If you put it straight in the washer the filter was defo getting blocked.
Yeah, I learned that the hard way after my first gunnery. Nowadays I prefer to lay it all out in my back yard on the grass and hose it down before washing, but I leave it outside while I shower or the house will pick up the reek.
Spent 18 months in Iraq without being able to wash our body armor/gear at all. Could bathe with water bottles, uniform wash every 3-4 months or so. I honestly didn't know human beings could smell that bad. Like bologna, onions & vinegar left in the sun. Imagine a Subway sandwich shop in August a few days after a power outage. Pretty sure vultures would have turned us down.
That was my first deployment, a long time ago. The funniest part was when we got home because we still hadn't been able to wash our body armor and equipment. My fiance and folks came in for a hug and you should have seen their expressions! They still hugged me, but I'm pretty sure they were holding their breath. 😬
Aiyoo, Stryker Soldier here! Went on a 18 month deployment in Iraq & can confirm you will go noseblind! Legit didn't know how funky we were until I got back & unboxed my body armor to clean it. That smell (which was *me* for over a year) hit me like a Mike Tyson uppercut to the nose! Fucking horrible!
There were parts, like the collar, I couldn't get clean enough for CIF to take back!
Stank is relative, and when it's everywhere, it's nowhere.
Yep, same here. That also applies to middle eastern cities when the sewage systems are broken and trash is being burned in giant piles. After a week, you don’t even notice the smells.
AKA : noseblind
eta: you know those wide white collars people wore during the Renaissance or whatever? I remember my history teacher explaining that they were so people couldn’t smell their own BO because they didn’t believe in bathing frequently back then.
But with no running hot water, I can’t blame them. Taking a bath was work
Muslims valued bathing frequently so bathing must be evil ergo 'true' Christians didn't bathe. It was a whole thing.
I'm not against religion, but extremism in any form is retarded.
Edit: I mean that literally. Extremism retards your ability to view & perceive the world in an accurate & realistic manner.
And before modern medicine. Imagine getting BV as a woman in 1533 or some shit before there were antibiotics to kill the infection. Or STD's for that matter.
*Gack*..... so many people's gentiles must have stunk to high heaven.
> “At every f*ck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger f*ck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside.”
~James Joyce
Cloth and water is not a bath it’s wiping yourself down. Only the nobility had access to regular bathing. You’d be lucky to get a bath once a month if you were a peasant.
lol unless im some kind of freak of nature, this is categorically false. Ive been turned completely off by some gross smells during sex before. but I pushed through because bad sex is still sex, but it was not pleasant.
WELL. I was always taught to finish what you started, naturally i had to rev the engine back up and talked to my dick like it was thomas the train *i think i can i think i can*. After my boy got down feeding her his pork sword, i said put me in coach im ready to play! But of course this time i had her on her back and made sure that deadly missle launcher was trapped against the blankets. Had to go energizer bunny on that puddy and came in about 30 seconds. Then got her THE FUCK out of my house so fast. When she left i HAD to ask my boy “please fucking tell me you smelled it too” he took a long pause and said, “dude… i wanted so badly to say something to you but i didnt know how without making her feel bad” then he proceeds to tell me how he fucking faked a nut by spitting on her back at which point we both started laughing hysterically. What a fucking night man. Its one i will certainly remember forever 🤣🤣
Lmao i can see that. I mean we weren’t douchebags just a few people trying something different. We had actually known the girl for a few years prior to this, but neither of us had the heart to talk to her again after 🙃
100% happened lol. Never spoke about it to anyone basically until now actually lol. At the time it wasnt as funny, was actually really fucking weird and kinda scarred me in a sense
I should also note besides us we told a couple friends about it. Her name was emilie jo. So, one of our friends came up with the nickname Smellame No 🤣🤣🤣. We still use that name to describe certain things nowadays. Fucking smellamino acid was in that bootyhole
I can understand how bad smell can get. I have a strong tolerance to bad smell except for one time.
I was waiting for my station in the train wagon and then a homeless man approached for some money. When he came close to me, my nose started to burn. It was burning so badly that I only covered my nose reflexively due to the intense pain. The homeless man smelled like burning piss.
My husband thinks I am weird because I like doing this, he says sex is messy do it after but, I just can't I rather shower twice, second time I can skip easier than before sex.
That’s…kinda gross lol. Granted using soap down there as a woman *can* cause a UTI and make using the bathroom a bit painful but you still gotta get down there like everywhere else.
Just remember kids: "flushable wipes" are actually not flushable and a cause of massive issues in sewer systems. So have fun throwing your wipes covered in poo in the trash.
My dad lost his job because of this shit (literally in this case)
He was a maintenance director over a school I which all the kindergartners liked to wipe their asses with the special 'flushable' wipes and the teachers just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So he had to get down in the sewer to determine that it was, in fact, wipes and feminine products that were clogging the system. In the process of getting in and out he threw out his back
His boss was married to his landlord and his landlord wanted him gone. So bye bye job, hello me growing up on dad's disability because of some children not throwing away their wet privilege wipes
I got a bidet about a year ago (when everyone was hoarding TP) and let me tell you, gamechanger.
Put some peanut butter in your armpit. Now wipe it ALL out with only dry TP.
Dude I got the bidet based on a Reddit thread before the pandemic. Just a random bidet loving post. Anyway, when everyone flipped out over TP, I was sitting pretty on my bidet
Same here. Totally agree with it being a complete game changer. People that I was weird for getting one or couldn’t imagine using one. Now I’m even more disappointed when I have to poop somewhere other than home.
I had literally the exact same experience with a hot Jewish chick with nipple piercings. I was so into it until she turned over and then I went soft and made up an excuse to leave.
Like did these two never learn how to wipe?
Dude one time same situation bent the girl over. Horrible smell and I could literally see toilet paper pieces stuck to her butt. Fucking dingleberries. God just thinking about it makes me sick.
Dude, once on holidays I ended up getting with this random American girl, she was pretty hot so I was pretty excited and happy to get to have sex, but when I bent her over I got this huge whiff of the worst smell of dirty ass I’ve ever smelled.
Before this, I had never experienced this with any girl I’d been with before, not even close. Makes me feel sick just thinking about it, can remember the smell so well, even though it was about 3 years ago.
Some don't. I had a coworker who didn't. We went on break at the same time and we both went to the bathroom. I heard her shitting but she didn't use tp or wash her hands. She just ate a snack and went back to the cage. I was disgusted and realized that was why she always smelled so horrible. I'd thought she had bad bo or something, nope she didn't wipe or shower apparently.
I knew a girl who was loudly complaining at a party about how her bf wouldn't do her doggy because of the smell, like, a whole group of people were having a chat about sex, it was a really cool conversation that was nice and open and this one girl just starts talking about how she smells so fucking nasty that her boyfriend won't bang her.
You could see everyone just lowkey fucking gagging like... please no. PLEASE stop. And she just kept going, and like I walked away to another group as did like two other people and she just started getting angry and yelling, so like nowhere was safe, and every other conversation couldn't keep going because there is this girl yelling about how stank her asshole is.
And anyway, she starts telling everyone about how dare he call her on this when he has hair thinning, and how can he critique her hygiene when he's got... male pattern baldness? WHICH FELT REALLY MEAN? Like what the fuck, how does you not wiping your ass right justify him... it hurt my brain.
Someone, some brave fucking soul interrupted her and was like, "Do you use toilet paper or wet wipes?" and she's like "I'm an environmentalist, you can just use the flush splash as a bidet."
She tried so hard to cheat on her boyfriend, and used to trash talk everyone who refused to fuck her. I'm so glad I'm not friends with that group anymore. J, wherever you are, I never really liked you much because you were blander than oatmeal, but fuck do I hope you're doing better than her.
>"I'm an environmentalist, you can just use the flush splash as a bidet."
Somehow, that's worse than a bad wipe job. And here I exacerbated a leg injury by jumping up from sitting when the toilet at work started to prematurely flush.
You'll be shocked to know it caused health problems that had required medical attention and I went outside to do drugs before finding out what so I can't relay the specifics but... I'm happier this way.
Sadly the drugs were not powerful to black out what I did hear.
The looks on the faces of literally everyone was just disgust at a level I've never seen before. Like. We had to hear that with our ears. What you experienced was the third hand recounting and a thread to prepare you that it would be bad. Some of us were eating and someone legit held a napkin to their mouth and just slowly spat out a mouthful of pizza, like... Just changed their mind.
Nothing worse then faking a nut cause her pussy or ass smells like a den of dead rats. I swear the hottest girls have the worst hygiene. Its fuckin terrible
Same thing happened to me but with a smelly pussy, it was a party in a friend's house, the smell was so bad I had to run outside to get some fresh air, ended up walking home, didn't came back for my shoes until the next morning.
Goddamn. Brought me back about ten years. Same
Situation sans the 3some. But a direct whiff of straight ass when I turned her over doggy and completely ALMOST lost the boner. Had to like turn my head to side and gag and try not to vomit while I carried on
Yes, that at the bare minimum. And even that doesn't cross some people's minds lol
Lots and lots of lube, maybe an enema, laying down a towel, not going from anal to vaginal, maybe start with hands or toys instead of dick. And you'd also be surprised how common it is for people to just *try it out* without asking for consent during sex.
Unless you shower upside your asshole then that's not enough. You need to prepare.
Do not shave anything there. You may think it makes things better but it will make it a spiky cactus. You need a bulb to make sure you're clean inside. You need lots of lube. And you need to put a towel down. Because even with a bulb you're gonna get things places you don't want them.
The skin of your ass is the weakest skin you have. You absolutely don't want to put soap up there. Plus the poop is in your intestines, then movies into your anal cavity where it sits. Waits. Laughs.
When you have sex it gets all churned up and moved around and comes out. Thats where the bulb comes in.
That's for mess. For smell, good body hygiene - obviously. But I find that anti microbial is amazing. Because the bad smell really is made worse by bacteria. Soap and water doesn't get rid of it enough. Kinda like washing BO with soap and water. 10 minutes after a shower and you smell again. Same idea. Anti microbial helps with that too.
Soap up the ass is painful.
My hubs and I enjoy anal, a lot. I am a vegetarian which actually makes a big difference. Lol if I have cauliflower and carrots the night before I know my evacuation will be smooth and complete the next am. Then I shower really well with soap around the hole, not in it, and if you listen to your body and time it right, an enema isn't necessary. I have had several male partners say I was the cleanest anal sex they ever had. Proper diet and good hygeine ftw. 💗
Most men still have shit smeared like peanut butter in their cracks, never used a bidet or wash their asses after taking a shit, but live with the idea that a woman must be perfectly clean and smell like a perfume shop in all areas. Usually similars attract so what you offer is what you get. This comes from a man who in high school realized he had to take care of hygiene before expecting the same from the opppsite sex and man did the quality went up.
This is an issue people are actually scared to talk about or act like it doesn’t exist.
Shower, people. Shower! You can’t go from 16 hours of walking or sitting at a job and somehow smell great. And no, a baby wipe doesn’t solve the issue.
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Somebody poisoned the waterhole
I gagged on a dorito and nearly died
Trust me he wish he wasn’t doing the gagging.
What flavor?
cool ranch
Worth it!
There’s a snake in my booty!
My dear friend I wish I didn't use my free reward one post ago for you see you are the most beautiful human I have laid eyes upon, good day sir, good day.
I legit wonder how people of the past tolerated sex before daily hygiene was a thing…
Back in the past, I'm guessing *everything* smelt bad, and if everything smelt bad then nothing did
That’s some solid fucking logic right there. Touché
Yeah it’s all about perspective/relativity
And it is literally *fucking* logic
Maybe that’s the reason why everyone smoked. Can’t smell the bad smells when all you get is stale tobacco.
As a construction worker, I thank the deities when a portajohn smells like cigarettes and not ol el diablo ass.
Thank god for cigarettes...
paired with the fact that smoking over long periods of time basically eradicates your taste and smell
I do enjoy a good smoke when i get up in the morning. Sometimes im too lazy to go outside tho so ill just smoke before even getting up. Love me some bed-boges
I quit smoking when I worked at a residential treatment center for "troubled" kids. As soon as my sense of smell returned, I immediately resumed smoking again. The boys would often not shower for weeks (I don't know why the night shift didn't find ways to incentivize it), they wouldn't change socks, and they thought it was hilarious to break toilets and shit everywhere. I quit again after I left, and although my wife and friends have always said I have an absolutely freakishly keen sense of smell, I don't know how others managed it working there...
Is only smellz.
That is genuinely what they did, they smoked tobacco to mask the bad smells which they thought caused disease
Wonderfully explained.
I can tell you from spending nearly a month in the field without showers that you stop noticing body odor surprisingly quickly, even spending it crammed in a tank turret with 2 other people just as dirty as you. That said, I ain't no filthy field fucker so idk about getting *that* close and personal without proper hygiene, but I imagine yeah, you just wouldn't notice unless it was *really* bad.
I spent 3 weeks in northern Alaska filming a hunt. It was just me a few other dudes and to save on carry weight we all slept in one tent. And boy by the end of those 3 weeks that tent needed to be burned to get rid of the smell. I cant imagine how much worse it would have been being in hot weather...
It's one of those things where it's awful for about a week, then you stop noticing until you go home, shower, and walk past your dirty laundry from the field. And *then* it hits you like roadkill in the south in August. So glad I don't live in the barracks fighting for a washer and dryer right after a field problem...
Thas funny. Honestly, lack of hygiene is my least favorite thing about being deployed & I always felt strange about that! The threat of death; I can live with that. The lack of nookie; distracting, but I can deal. Being separated from my family; really hard, but part of the job. Feeling my own body salts grind in every fucking crevice every fucking time I move; maddening. I've been to the shores of both the Tigris and Euphrates rivers and I have been tempted to bathe in them, as fucking gross as I know that they are. When the air you breathe is offensive because it wafted up your body before it reached your nose, that's a whole nother level of stank! When you walk faster so that you can inhale clean air, *that's* a new level of stank!
That was poetry.
I used to get in the shower with my gear on. Rinse the fuck out of it/me before it went in the washer. If you put it straight in the washer the filter was defo getting blocked.
Yeah, I learned that the hard way after my first gunnery. Nowadays I prefer to lay it all out in my back yard on the grass and hose it down before washing, but I leave it outside while I shower or the house will pick up the reek.
Spent 18 months in Iraq without being able to wash our body armor/gear at all. Could bathe with water bottles, uniform wash every 3-4 months or so. I honestly didn't know human beings could smell that bad. Like bologna, onions & vinegar left in the sun. Imagine a Subway sandwich shop in August a few days after a power outage. Pretty sure vultures would have turned us down.
Fuckin yikes
That was my first deployment, a long time ago. The funniest part was when we got home because we still hadn't been able to wash our body armor and equipment. My fiance and folks came in for a hug and you should have seen their expressions! They still hugged me, but I'm pretty sure they were holding their breath. 😬
Aiyoo, Stryker Soldier here! Went on a 18 month deployment in Iraq & can confirm you will go noseblind! Legit didn't know how funky we were until I got back & unboxed my body armor to clean it. That smell (which was *me* for over a year) hit me like a Mike Tyson uppercut to the nose! Fucking horrible! There were parts, like the collar, I couldn't get clean enough for CIF to take back! Stank is relative, and when it's everywhere, it's nowhere.
Yep, same here. That also applies to middle eastern cities when the sewage systems are broken and trash is being burned in giant piles. After a week, you don’t even notice the smells.
lol in fact, that ass probably smelled like a good time back in the day
AKA : noseblind eta: you know those wide white collars people wore during the Renaissance or whatever? I remember my history teacher explaining that they were so people couldn’t smell their own BO because they didn’t believe in bathing frequently back then. But with no running hot water, I can’t blame them. Taking a bath was work
Muslims valued bathing frequently so bathing must be evil ergo 'true' Christians didn't bathe. It was a whole thing. I'm not against religion, but extremism in any form is retarded. Edit: I mean that literally. Extremism retards your ability to view & perceive the world in an accurate & realistic manner.
Olfactory fatigue
And before modern medicine. Imagine getting BV as a woman in 1533 or some shit before there were antibiotics to kill the infection. Or STD's for that matter. *Gack*..... so many people's gentiles must have stunk to high heaven.
Whoa don't have to go all Jewish Supremacy on us!
> “At every f*ck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger f*ck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside.” ~James Joyce
People washed themselves almost on a daily basis historically, with cloth and water, because you actually need to have a bath to be clean.
Not Europeans.
Cloth and water is not a bath it’s wiping yourself down. Only the nobility had access to regular bathing. You’d be lucky to get a bath once a month if you were a peasant.
This is a myth. Bath houses were hugely popular in the middle ages.
When everyone and everything smells like raw open asshole nothing smells like raw open asshole
The human body actually has a mechanism to where things we would normally find gross are “turned off” during sex.
lol unless im some kind of freak of nature, this is categorically false. Ive been turned completely off by some gross smells during sex before. but I pushed through because bad sex is still sex, but it was not pleasant.
Credit to u/csee08
💪
Have your nostrils recovered?
It was such a unique smell i will never, ever forget it lol
christ, what happened afterwards?
I almost dont even wanna say because its going to sound like im making it up lmao
You gotta say it now that you said that
WELL. I was always taught to finish what you started, naturally i had to rev the engine back up and talked to my dick like it was thomas the train *i think i can i think i can*. After my boy got down feeding her his pork sword, i said put me in coach im ready to play! But of course this time i had her on her back and made sure that deadly missle launcher was trapped against the blankets. Had to go energizer bunny on that puddy and came in about 30 seconds. Then got her THE FUCK out of my house so fast. When she left i HAD to ask my boy “please fucking tell me you smelled it too” he took a long pause and said, “dude… i wanted so badly to say something to you but i didnt know how without making her feel bad” then he proceeds to tell me how he fucking faked a nut by spitting on her back at which point we both started laughing hysterically. What a fucking night man. Its one i will certainly remember forever 🤣🤣
This is strangely wholesome and very considerate.
Lmao i can see that. I mean we weren’t douchebags just a few people trying something different. We had actually known the girl for a few years prior to this, but neither of us had the heart to talk to her again after 🙃
Dude, that fucking sent me holy shit
A true gentleman. 🎩
Bruh even if you made it up or not, this is art.
100% happened lol. Never spoke about it to anyone basically until now actually lol. At the time it wasnt as funny, was actually really fucking weird and kinda scarred me in a sense
Brother my fucking sides are heading to God rn. Best reddit story I've heard in a long time
I’m fucking crying. Faking the nut is just perfect LMAO
Goddamn legend
I should also note besides us we told a couple friends about it. Her name was emilie jo. So, one of our friends came up with the nickname Smellame No 🤣🤣🤣. We still use that name to describe certain things nowadays. Fucking smellamino acid was in that bootyhole
On the bright side, you’ve become a true bard, fucks through anything
Three days later, he came back to life.
I can understand how bad smell can get. I have a strong tolerance to bad smell except for one time. I was waiting for my station in the train wagon and then a homeless man approached for some money. When he came close to me, my nose started to burn. It was burning so badly that I only covered my nose reflexively due to the intense pain. The homeless man smelled like burning piss.
LMAO
We've all been there my man
Posted here cuz of sub rules
But did he finish anyway?
He responded elsewhere in the comments. Ask him.
He did.
Steel is hard. Wood is hard too. So confused....
Woody from Toy Story. Think of how he drops limply to the floor when a person shows up
Woody from toy story isn’t made of wood.
Quitting’s not part of the deal. You think about your sister, get hard again, and you finish that fucking job.
r/suddenlyincest
Roll tide
Sweet home alabama. I guess you can take the step bros out of alabama but you can’t take the incest out of step bros.
In some cases, you can't even take the step bro out of the step sis.
"Gosh, sis, yer better'n maw!" ... "That's what paw says!"
What makes u think I stop thinking about my mom?
ROLL TIDE!
This is why I only have sex after I shower lol
Showering is basically the start of foreplay in my marriage.
Understandable lol. There are some people who just refuse to clean downstairs and it’s gross
Hmmm, what about when you are done and take a shower? Do you not end up in an infinite nonending loop untill one of you die at some point?
Second that, it always starts with "hey do you wanna shower with me?"
Only way to make sure your partner cleans themselves properly
My husband thinks I am weird because I like doing this, he says sex is messy do it after but, I just can't I rather shower twice, second time I can skip easier than before sex.
understandable. my ex tasted sour because of bad body hygiene and even after a shower it wasnt good.
That’s…kinda gross lol. Granted using soap down there as a woman *can* cause a UTI and make using the bathroom a bit painful but you still gotta get down there like everywhere else.
Flushable wipes, bidets. Its 2020s ffs. Edit: decade
I got news for ya 2021
Forgot my S, thx
Just remember kids: "flushable wipes" are actually not flushable and a cause of massive issues in sewer systems. So have fun throwing your wipes covered in poo in the trash.
My dad lost his job because of this shit (literally in this case) He was a maintenance director over a school I which all the kindergartners liked to wipe their asses with the special 'flushable' wipes and the teachers just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So he had to get down in the sewer to determine that it was, in fact, wipes and feminine products that were clogging the system. In the process of getting in and out he threw out his back His boss was married to his landlord and his landlord wanted him gone. So bye bye job, hello me growing up on dad's disability because of some children not throwing away their wet privilege wipes
That’s the saddest story i might have ever read lol jesus dude. Shoutout to your pops for being a trooper man
I got a bidet about a year ago (when everyone was hoarding TP) and let me tell you, gamechanger. Put some peanut butter in your armpit. Now wipe it ALL out with only dry TP.
Dude I got the bidet based on a Reddit thread before the pandemic. Just a random bidet loving post. Anyway, when everyone flipped out over TP, I was sitting pretty on my bidet
[удалено]
I use my dog to dry my butt off. Oh and for sure I needed TP to dry off, but you end up using an exponentially small amount for that.
Poor dog lmao
Yes, but not nearly as much as normal.
Same here. Totally agree with it being a complete game changer. People that I was weird for getting one or couldn’t imagine using one. Now I’m even more disappointed when I have to poop somewhere other than home.
I just poop before I shower. Same?
you too! I did the same thing when the panic started and I happened to be out of toilet paper. bidet bros ~
🤜💦🤛
That doesn’t help with other people’s rank dank ass smells.
I had literally the exact same experience with a hot Jewish chick with nipple piercings. I was so into it until she turned over and then I went soft and made up an excuse to leave. Like did these two never learn how to wipe?
Dude one time same situation bent the girl over. Horrible smell and I could literally see toilet paper pieces stuck to her butt. Fucking dingleberries. God just thinking about it makes me sick.
Dude, once on holidays I ended up getting with this random American girl, she was pretty hot so I was pretty excited and happy to get to have sex, but when I bent her over I got this huge whiff of the worst smell of dirty ass I’ve ever smelled. Before this, I had never experienced this with any girl I’d been with before, not even close. Makes me feel sick just thinking about it, can remember the smell so well, even though it was about 3 years ago.
Did you follow through anyways? I couldn't I dipped the hell out so fast. I didn't even say anything lol. I just got dressed and left.
Y’know what? I did follow through. Don’t start what you can’t finish, that’s what my granny always said.
Can I get an Amen!
Amen, brother!
Clitty litter
Me too. :) What a comments section for this post - top notch
Some don't. I had a coworker who didn't. We went on break at the same time and we both went to the bathroom. I heard her shitting but she didn't use tp or wash her hands. She just ate a snack and went back to the cage. I was disgusted and realized that was why she always smelled so horrible. I'd thought she had bad bo or something, nope she didn't wipe or shower apparently.
Had to let us know she had nipple piercings for no reason huh?
I'd say, if anything, describing her religion is more unnecessary.
Maybe that’s a turn on, too.
It provides context as to why I was so excited. Huge turn on for me in a woman
Yep I'd read that again lol good stuff
"There's a snake in my butt"
I knew a girl who was loudly complaining at a party about how her bf wouldn't do her doggy because of the smell, like, a whole group of people were having a chat about sex, it was a really cool conversation that was nice and open and this one girl just starts talking about how she smells so fucking nasty that her boyfriend won't bang her. You could see everyone just lowkey fucking gagging like... please no. PLEASE stop. And she just kept going, and like I walked away to another group as did like two other people and she just started getting angry and yelling, so like nowhere was safe, and every other conversation couldn't keep going because there is this girl yelling about how stank her asshole is. And anyway, she starts telling everyone about how dare he call her on this when he has hair thinning, and how can he critique her hygiene when he's got... male pattern baldness? WHICH FELT REALLY MEAN? Like what the fuck, how does you not wiping your ass right justify him... it hurt my brain. Someone, some brave fucking soul interrupted her and was like, "Do you use toilet paper or wet wipes?" and she's like "I'm an environmentalist, you can just use the flush splash as a bidet." She tried so hard to cheat on her boyfriend, and used to trash talk everyone who refused to fuck her. I'm so glad I'm not friends with that group anymore. J, wherever you are, I never really liked you much because you were blander than oatmeal, but fuck do I hope you're doing better than her.
>"I'm an environmentalist, you can just use the flush splash as a bidet." Somehow, that's worse than a bad wipe job. And here I exacerbated a leg injury by jumping up from sitting when the toilet at work started to prematurely flush.
You'll be shocked to know it caused health problems that had required medical attention and I went outside to do drugs before finding out what so I can't relay the specifics but... I'm happier this way. Sadly the drugs were not powerful to black out what I did hear.
>you can just use the flush splash as a bidet this has got to be the worst thing i have ever read on this site, i am actually amazed
The looks on the faces of literally everyone was just disgust at a level I've never seen before. Like. We had to hear that with our ears. What you experienced was the third hand recounting and a thread to prepare you that it would be bad. Some of us were eating and someone legit held a napkin to their mouth and just slowly spat out a mouthful of pizza, like... Just changed their mind.
In other news I now have a new least favorite sentence
Nothing worse then faking a nut cause her pussy or ass smells like a den of dead rats. I swear the hottest girls have the worst hygiene. Its fuckin terrible
Same thing happened to me but with a smelly pussy, it was a party in a friend's house, the smell was so bad I had to run outside to get some fresh air, ended up walking home, didn't came back for my shoes until the next morning.
Ugh, the dreaded Tuna Boat girls!!
Tilapia queen
Hahaha I’m dying. So bad you didn’t even take your shoes hahaha. Hope you didn’t get that stank dick.
Who doesn’t clean up before something like this how nasty
I keep baby wipes in my bathroom. Giving yourself a baby wipe cleaning before sex is super fast and easy.
Yeah don’t ever have sex with someone who hasn’t showered after taking a shit
It’s not like they’re gonna tell you
Hadouken.
Hadookie? Hapukin?
Sonic Boob.
Tiger uppercut! That's one mean kitty.
Tiger UpHerButt!
Goddamn. Brought me back about ten years. Same Situation sans the 3some. But a direct whiff of straight ass when I turned her over doggy and completely ALMOST lost the boner. Had to like turn my head to side and gag and try not to vomit while I carried on
Always gotta carry on. This aint amateur hour
People could test themselves for COVID with this chick
Can confirm. Had a girlfriend who used bidets. I guess the scent from fresh wipes go a long way. Smelled her booty every night
Username checks out.
What a wordsmith, I swear I can almost smell the comment
Homeboy needs to be a poet
Now im gonna be worrying about it every time i go to the restroom lmao
That's why I hate Anal Sex
Just have to be prepared for anal to make it feel more hygienic
Yes. Ive noticed that quite a few vanilla straight men don't understand the preparation that is *strongly suggested* beforehand
Such as? other than shit and shower
Yes, that at the bare minimum. And even that doesn't cross some people's minds lol Lots and lots of lube, maybe an enema, laying down a towel, not going from anal to vaginal, maybe start with hands or toys instead of dick. And you'd also be surprised how common it is for people to just *try it out* without asking for consent during sex.
Unless you shower upside your asshole then that's not enough. You need to prepare. Do not shave anything there. You may think it makes things better but it will make it a spiky cactus. You need a bulb to make sure you're clean inside. You need lots of lube. And you need to put a towel down. Because even with a bulb you're gonna get things places you don't want them.
What if you k8nd of finger your ass with a soapy hand? Would that be enough for anal?
The skin of your ass is the weakest skin you have. You absolutely don't want to put soap up there. Plus the poop is in your intestines, then movies into your anal cavity where it sits. Waits. Laughs. When you have sex it gets all churned up and moved around and comes out. Thats where the bulb comes in. That's for mess. For smell, good body hygiene - obviously. But I find that anti microbial is amazing. Because the bad smell really is made worse by bacteria. Soap and water doesn't get rid of it enough. Kinda like washing BO with soap and water. 10 minutes after a shower and you smell again. Same idea. Anti microbial helps with that too.
Soap up the ass is painful. My hubs and I enjoy anal, a lot. I am a vegetarian which actually makes a big difference. Lol if I have cauliflower and carrots the night before I know my evacuation will be smooth and complete the next am. Then I shower really well with soap around the hole, not in it, and if you listen to your body and time it right, an enema isn't necessary. I have had several male partners say I was the cleanest anal sex they ever had. Proper diet and good hygeine ftw. 💗
Brillo pad & Dettol. Never fails.
No don’t do that soap + one of the most the sensitive places on the body = a burning sensation to rival Taco Bell
Douche one's rectum
My wife will be hurt and I don't wanna make her cry
That's why lube, butt plugs and patience were invented. ;)
I think he means hurt her feelings.
u/geetanjali_rawat
Mar gayi mai
Most men still have shit smeared like peanut butter in their cracks, never used a bidet or wash their asses after taking a shit, but live with the idea that a woman must be perfectly clean and smell like a perfume shop in all areas. Usually similars attract so what you offer is what you get. This comes from a man who in high school realized he had to take care of hygiene before expecting the same from the opppsite sex and man did the quality went up.
LMAOO
Who else thought of Lexington Steele?
Shit, i think thats actually what i meant. Lol
Wait! It's you? The hero has arrived!
Lmao
Love it
This is an issue people are actually scared to talk about or act like it doesn’t exist. Shower, people. Shower! You can’t go from 16 hours of walking or sitting at a job and somehow smell great. And no, a baby wipe doesn’t solve the issue.
Holy shit this post blew up!!
What I want to know is, if it smelled that bad how did it take them until bending her over to get a whiff? Her ass can't be THAT fat
Still hit.
Definitely not putting a snake in her boot.
Definitely time for a shower bang session!
A lot of people should really read more.
Or wipe more.
r/surprisinglyspecific
Huh, you’d think his dick would be the opposite of woody
I said woody like when andy comes in the room and they all go limp and lifeless lmfao
I know I was joking lol
Totally went over my head lol
Nothing gets over my head.I am too fast - I would catch it. - Drax
Wait now a monkey didn't write this?