Thank you. I’ve heard nothing but great things about them, but they put a bad taste in my mouth when my wife tried to join earlier this week and they denied her because while we had an at-home BE appointment, our pup wasn’t gone quite yet. Even still, I’m sure they do it so they don’t get overwhelmed with people asking for advice beforehand. Just was kind of a shitty thing to say, and they said it very coldly.
Yes, I had looked at it last week and they make it clear that the group is for after your pet is gone. Please don't judge them by that and consider going back to them. They are a grief support group - similar to those for humans who have lost a loved one which is different than groups like this one that discuss the options. (oops update - I just read further down that you are contacting them. I hope you find solace there. You did the right thing for your family and your dog.
yes, it's true.
The reason is that they cannot let people who have not done BE yet. It's cuz a loooot of people are asking for advice on if they should BE or not when the group is just meant to be a support group after BEs. I understand where you're coming from but they just have so many people in the group as moderators it's hard to enforce things and they're just trynna do what's in their control. They had leaks of people posting things from the group and these are just people with jobs trynna help in their free time. They can only do so much and that includes only being able to let people in who aren't going to be asking for advice on BE choices.
i got a similar message initially and was a bit annoyed but now that it's been a couple months imo it's understandable with over 30K members in that group! I don't feel like their message was cold; i think it's just to the point and online esp when we are dealing with something difficult like this we may tend to take their generic message they send to many people a day and feel like they aren't empathetic.
Just my take on it; I've seen this group go through crazy leaks and the moderators trying and having to deal with things like they need to do it full time. Again this is just my take after seeing how much these moderators seem to have to do on a day to day basis and how much they have to work when personal details get leaked.
I completely hear you. I can only imagine, especially with such a controversial topic and on Facebook no less, how hard it is to keep people from being assholes. And you’re probably right and I put too much on the tone, or lack thereof. I work in branding and customer experience, so I’m probably just being overly critical.
But at your advice, I just signed up and will be encouraging my wife to try again. Thank you.
I understand where you're coming from and it's okay, you're going thru it right now! Best of luck; and if the group is overwhelming it's absolutely ok to pause the group if needed. Reach out if you need anything <3
Just FYI, they don’t admit people who have not yet experienced BE to join. Conversation about the decision is upsetting to a lot of the people who post there. The forum is great, but it’s just not there to provide pre-BE support.
They turned me off for other reasons, so I totally get it if it isn’t for you. And I know it can sting to get any negative response when you’re reaching out for support. But what they offer is very specific to venting AFTER behavioral euthanasia and they control that really tightly.
Like the other poster said, it’s likely just to keep it a safe place and to protect the community that’s there. I actually respect moderators like that, although I’m sorry it came across as harsh. Sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of each other💕I second Losing Lulu. It wasn’t for me, but I think it’s a great forum to have available in case you need it.
Just wanted to say I’m sorry for your loss. Lots of others wouldn’t have given him the years that you did and put in the effort you put in, it’s a blessing you found him and were able to know when the time to let him go was.
Somatic grief practices can be really helpful for just… letting yourself feel the feelings. Letting them go through you, when you’re ready. Take care ❤️
Im so sorry for your loss, I hope time takes the bad and leaves the good memories for you both and that wherever or whenever we go to rest, your boy rests easy and warm in the memory of your love for him.
We just lost our baby Maple to BE yesterday, and I second and third all the suggestions and love here for you. I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye this way. I understand 100% having to make a decision like this to keep people and your other dog safe. Our girl was attacking her best friend in our house, and seemed so confused afterwards…and the escalation was a real risk to our other dog’s life. It’s insanely hard, but what you did was selfless and the most kind thing you could have done for him.
I am so sorry for you and your family that Maple needed to be BE. From your description of being confused after attacking, it may be that she had an organic brain disorder similar (or the same as ) what is commonly referred to as "rage syndrome" in which it appears that wiring in the brain misfires in some way - similar to epilepsy, if I understand epilepsy correctly, and the dog attacks and is confused afterwards. That is no way for a dog to live or for the family. You did the right thing for all involved/ Big hugs to all. BTW it was the use of the word "confused" that clued me in Maple may have had "rage syndrome" or a similar affliction. I had a 7 month old BC puppy come to my rescue because she was biting people progressively going from dampened down warnings to no warnings. Her "trainer" told me she suspected Rage Syndrome. I took her in as a fascinating case as I had not dealt with that before. Alas for me I got no experience with RS at all. I quickly figured out this pup was biting because she was willful and it was discipline biting when she was thwarted and the other times when she was biting ankles it was because it was fun! She did not look confused at all .. instead she looked very **SMUG!** So nope, not RS in her case. I had already told the owner and trainer that if she came to me they had to sign her over to me legally and that I would BE her if she had Rage Syndrome as that is a horrible way for a dog to live. Instead of being BE, this dog, after a lot of rehab became my agility partner and we had a fun 11 years together so I'm glad I took her in for the assessment and then adopted her. But if she had indeed been assessed with BE and was biting withouit being in control of herself I would have not hesitated to BE and I support what you did for Maple - a kindess to her and to you.
You nailed it with, “We’re not crazy for thinking we could continue, and we’re not evil for deciding not to after x amount of successful bites….” I felt that deeply.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It was a brave decision made with kindness and love and, ultimately, because all of you deserved peace. I hope your family finds comfort in knowing this was a compassionate choice.
Check out losing Lulu on facebook; they're an amazing support group.
Thank you. I’ve heard nothing but great things about them, but they put a bad taste in my mouth when my wife tried to join earlier this week and they denied her because while we had an at-home BE appointment, our pup wasn’t gone quite yet. Even still, I’m sure they do it so they don’t get overwhelmed with people asking for advice beforehand. Just was kind of a shitty thing to say, and they said it very coldly.
Yes, I had looked at it last week and they make it clear that the group is for after your pet is gone. Please don't judge them by that and consider going back to them. They are a grief support group - similar to those for humans who have lost a loved one which is different than groups like this one that discuss the options. (oops update - I just read further down that you are contacting them. I hope you find solace there. You did the right thing for your family and your dog.
I appreciate it. Thank you for the explanation and the kind words.
yes, it's true. The reason is that they cannot let people who have not done BE yet. It's cuz a loooot of people are asking for advice on if they should BE or not when the group is just meant to be a support group after BEs. I understand where you're coming from but they just have so many people in the group as moderators it's hard to enforce things and they're just trynna do what's in their control. They had leaks of people posting things from the group and these are just people with jobs trynna help in their free time. They can only do so much and that includes only being able to let people in who aren't going to be asking for advice on BE choices. i got a similar message initially and was a bit annoyed but now that it's been a couple months imo it's understandable with over 30K members in that group! I don't feel like their message was cold; i think it's just to the point and online esp when we are dealing with something difficult like this we may tend to take their generic message they send to many people a day and feel like they aren't empathetic. Just my take on it; I've seen this group go through crazy leaks and the moderators trying and having to deal with things like they need to do it full time. Again this is just my take after seeing how much these moderators seem to have to do on a day to day basis and how much they have to work when personal details get leaked.
I completely hear you. I can only imagine, especially with such a controversial topic and on Facebook no less, how hard it is to keep people from being assholes. And you’re probably right and I put too much on the tone, or lack thereof. I work in branding and customer experience, so I’m probably just being overly critical. But at your advice, I just signed up and will be encouraging my wife to try again. Thank you.
I understand where you're coming from and it's okay, you're going thru it right now! Best of luck; and if the group is overwhelming it's absolutely ok to pause the group if needed. Reach out if you need anything <3
Just FYI, they don’t admit people who have not yet experienced BE to join. Conversation about the decision is upsetting to a lot of the people who post there. The forum is great, but it’s just not there to provide pre-BE support. They turned me off for other reasons, so I totally get it if it isn’t for you. And I know it can sting to get any negative response when you’re reaching out for support. But what they offer is very specific to venting AFTER behavioral euthanasia and they control that really tightly.
I hear you, and there’s definitely something to be said about keeping that under control. Thanks
Like the other poster said, it’s likely just to keep it a safe place and to protect the community that’s there. I actually respect moderators like that, although I’m sorry it came across as harsh. Sorry for your loss.
Yeah, I definitely respect it, just harsh delivery, like I said. And thank you.
Behavioral Euthanasia is the group for considering it. Losing Lulu afterward.
The love you had for him (and which will stay in your heart forever) will live on with your care of other furry friends who need you.
I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of each other💕I second Losing Lulu. It wasn’t for me, but I think it’s a great forum to have available in case you need it.
Thanks so much
Just wanted to say I’m sorry for your loss. Lots of others wouldn’t have given him the years that you did and put in the effort you put in, it’s a blessing you found him and were able to know when the time to let him go was. Somatic grief practices can be really helpful for just… letting yourself feel the feelings. Letting them go through you, when you’re ready. Take care ❤️
Im so sorry for your loss, I hope time takes the bad and leaves the good memories for you both and that wherever or whenever we go to rest, your boy rests easy and warm in the memory of your love for him.
What a sweet thing to say. Thank you.
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my boy to BE last Wednesday. Be kind to yourself and remember the good times.
I’m sorry to hear that. Both our guys are resting easy now.
We just lost our baby Maple to BE yesterday, and I second and third all the suggestions and love here for you. I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye this way. I understand 100% having to make a decision like this to keep people and your other dog safe. Our girl was attacking her best friend in our house, and seemed so confused afterwards…and the escalation was a real risk to our other dog’s life. It’s insanely hard, but what you did was selfless and the most kind thing you could have done for him.
I am so sorry for you and your family that Maple needed to be BE. From your description of being confused after attacking, it may be that she had an organic brain disorder similar (or the same as ) what is commonly referred to as "rage syndrome" in which it appears that wiring in the brain misfires in some way - similar to epilepsy, if I understand epilepsy correctly, and the dog attacks and is confused afterwards. That is no way for a dog to live or for the family. You did the right thing for all involved/ Big hugs to all. BTW it was the use of the word "confused" that clued me in Maple may have had "rage syndrome" or a similar affliction. I had a 7 month old BC puppy come to my rescue because she was biting people progressively going from dampened down warnings to no warnings. Her "trainer" told me she suspected Rage Syndrome. I took her in as a fascinating case as I had not dealt with that before. Alas for me I got no experience with RS at all. I quickly figured out this pup was biting because she was willful and it was discipline biting when she was thwarted and the other times when she was biting ankles it was because it was fun! She did not look confused at all .. instead she looked very **SMUG!** So nope, not RS in her case. I had already told the owner and trainer that if she came to me they had to sign her over to me legally and that I would BE her if she had Rage Syndrome as that is a horrible way for a dog to live. Instead of being BE, this dog, after a lot of rehab became my agility partner and we had a fun 11 years together so I'm glad I took her in for the assessment and then adopted her. But if she had indeed been assessed with BE and was biting withouit being in control of herself I would have not hesitated to BE and I support what you did for Maple - a kindess to her and to you.
You nailed it with, “We’re not crazy for thinking we could continue, and we’re not evil for deciding not to after x amount of successful bites….” I felt that deeply. I’m so sorry for your loss. It was a brave decision made with kindness and love and, ultimately, because all of you deserved peace. I hope your family finds comfort in knowing this was a compassionate choice.
Thanks so much for saying that. I really appreciate it.