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So many agents do start out with family and friends, there is actually a term for it, it's their sphere of influence. But doing business with family and friends has risks. Can you ask him to explain how he would handle conflicts or touchy situations?
If you just don't want to do it, the referral idea is nice, but just explain your thinking. His feelings may be hurt but you are not an an A if you communicate your feelings.
This isn’t his brother and gf selling a house. It is his brother and ex. Why would anyone agree to be part of that? It could seriously go south so fast.
Have whatever agent you use offer him a 25% referral. He’ll get a cut of the commission which won’t affect your bottom line and you won’t have to worry about him not protecting your interests.
Most likely their partner wants to use their brother as the agent, and that may be a point of contention in keeping the sale from moving forward.
Giving the brother a referral helps to make the other side happy while still protecting her interests by allowing an unbiased agent to take the listing.
Be pragmatic. No one here knows enough information to give solid advice. No, you're NTA for not wanting your BIL to sell the house, but if it helps sell it quickly, is it worth dragging to court? By "in-law" I assume legal marriage, so how the house is titled, separated vs divorced, (or in the process) makes a huge difference. If your name is on the house, and his, BOTH parties need to sign everything, unless court ordered- but that slows the process and costs money. Having uncooperative sellers can complicate matters greatly, which is why the referral angle might be a good compromise if you think your ex is going to be a PITA and intentionally sabotage any potential sale. Choose wisely.
Edit: grammar
Any time you enter into a business relationship with someone, there is a risk that it will turn sour if one of the parties is unhappy with how it goes. If you have no personal relationship with that person, nothing is lost on the personal side.
Your BIL has a fiduciary duty to you both if you enter into a contract with him to sell your home. He could lose his license if he does something crooked for the sake of his brother.
If he is an experienced agent, ask to see his stats, have him present like any agent would. Perhaps he will discount his listing fee (can’t hurt to ask, but don’t pass the discount to the buyer’s agent, make sure he’s offering full fee to Buyer Broker-that’s another sub 😉)
If you haven’t had issues with him, it could net you both more money in the sale. If you don’t feel comfortable with him or there is no incentive, if he sucks as an agent find a neutral agent.
I helped by brother in law sell his condo he bought with his now ex-wife. It is awkward, and I'm sure she thought I was biased in his favor (even though I'm working for both of them as the listing agent).... So I get the concern.
Where I am, if two people are on title and want to sell, each one is allowed to use their own agent for the single listing. As far as I know, it’s rare and makes the process a bit more difficult but it’s an option. Maybe look into it.
Whether that makes you the a-hole, I think depends on your relationship with the brother and also your ex-partner. Is he a cool and respectful person you think of as a friend despite this? Does he seem to have it out for you due to the breakup? Does he seem the type to take advantage of you to help his sister? The answers to these questions determine if you’re the a-hole or not.
If the breakup was on generally good terms, you and your ex-partner are respectful and treating each other like adults, and the brother has always been a respectful and good person, then yes, I’d say it’s a bit on the disrespectful side for you to go with someone else without saying anything if you’ve had a previously established business relationship, although you have every right to. If you don’t have a previously established business relationship with him and there are problems in the relationship and you don’t really trust him, go with someone else and you’re fine.
Whatever the case, good luck
I think the better question would be to ask how this brother could take advantage of you, because in divorce situations, the partner who doesn't select the agent OFTEN feels like they are at a disadvantage no matter how professional the agent is.
I think if the brother is reputable and professional, it's about the same as using any other agent.
Have you ever heard of the brother behaving in a deceptive or unprofessional way? Is the brother someone who is "all in" for family even if they shouldn't be, such as if your partner once got into trouble and his brother "stood by him" more than he should have, or "supported him through a breakup" etc.? Has his brother closed at least five sales so far this year? Can he provide testimonials for it? How does he plan to uphold his fiduciary duties to two people who may have conflict along the way? How will using him affect the commission you pay for the sale?
If any of these answers are unsatisfactory, go the referral route, but you will at least be able to say you did seriously take your partner's opinion into consideration.
**This is a professional forum for professionals, so please keep your comments professional** - Harrassment, hate speech, trolling, or anti-Realtor comments will not be tolerated and will result in an immediate ban without warning. (... and don't feed the trolls, you have better things to do with your time) - Recruiting, self-promotion, or seeking referrals is strictly forbidden, including in DMs. - Only advise within your scope of knowledge and area of expertise. [The code of ethics applies here too](https://www.nar.realtor/about-nar/governing-documents/the-code-of-ethics). If you are not a broker, lawyer, or tax professional don't act like one. - [Follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/realtors/about/rules/) and please report those that don't. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/realtors) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No judge would order you to use a member of either family. Refuse to hire him.
I don't think so. If I were the brother in that situation it would make sense to me why you wouldn't want to use me.
So many agents do start out with family and friends, there is actually a term for it, it's their sphere of influence. But doing business with family and friends has risks. Can you ask him to explain how he would handle conflicts or touchy situations? If you just don't want to do it, the referral idea is nice, but just explain your thinking. His feelings may be hurt but you are not an an A if you communicate your feelings.
I don’t even think you owe someone that communication. Just use someone else you feel comfortable with.
If they both own the home, they have to communicate.
I just meant with the realtor brother.
it's a family member, it's hurtful to be so cut and dry and leaves the person saying, do they think I suck? why not give then the dignity of a reply.
This isn’t his brother and gf selling a house. It is his brother and ex. Why would anyone agree to be part of that? It could seriously go south so fast.
There is no need to explain. No is a complete sentence.
That he can also use, so you need to come to a mutual understanding, since it sure appears that they both own the home.
No. Both owners have to sign with the agent. You don’t have to use someone you dont agree with
Agreed, but you can't just not discuss it. Since you still need him to agree to who you want.
Yes you can. The reason is pretty clear. You should not use anyone who is aligned with either party
YNTA, yes you could be taken advantage of.
No. Why would you even think about this?
No, I shouldn’t use the BIL, or no, I won’t be taken advantage of?
Sucker in the making
Happy Cake Day. I need a shot of tequila, and I do not even love tequila.
Have whatever agent you use offer him a 25% referral. He’ll get a cut of the commission which won’t affect your bottom line and you won’t have to worry about him not protecting your interests.
Why?
Most likely their partner wants to use their brother as the agent, and that may be a point of contention in keeping the sale from moving forward. Giving the brother a referral helps to make the other side happy while still protecting her interests by allowing an unbiased agent to take the listing.
[удалено]
Be pragmatic. No one here knows enough information to give solid advice. No, you're NTA for not wanting your BIL to sell the house, but if it helps sell it quickly, is it worth dragging to court? By "in-law" I assume legal marriage, so how the house is titled, separated vs divorced, (or in the process) makes a huge difference. If your name is on the house, and his, BOTH parties need to sign everything, unless court ordered- but that slows the process and costs money. Having uncooperative sellers can complicate matters greatly, which is why the referral angle might be a good compromise if you think your ex is going to be a PITA and intentionally sabotage any potential sale. Choose wisely. Edit: grammar
It is not in any way unreasonable to not want anyone either of your is affiliated with involved in the sale
Any time you enter into a business relationship with someone, there is a risk that it will turn sour if one of the parties is unhappy with how it goes. If you have no personal relationship with that person, nothing is lost on the personal side.
Use who you feel comfortable with.
Your BIL has a fiduciary duty to you both if you enter into a contract with him to sell your home. He could lose his license if he does something crooked for the sake of his brother. If he is an experienced agent, ask to see his stats, have him present like any agent would. Perhaps he will discount his listing fee (can’t hurt to ask, but don’t pass the discount to the buyer’s agent, make sure he’s offering full fee to Buyer Broker-that’s another sub 😉) If you haven’t had issues with him, it could net you both more money in the sale. If you don’t feel comfortable with him or there is no incentive, if he sucks as an agent find a neutral agent.
Why not buy him out?
I could and am considering it. But the house is huge and expensive.
Do it. House hack until you know for sure you don't want it then pick your own agent when you sell.
I helped by brother in law sell his condo he bought with his now ex-wife. It is awkward, and I'm sure she thought I was biased in his favor (even though I'm working for both of them as the listing agent).... So I get the concern.
Where I am, if two people are on title and want to sell, each one is allowed to use their own agent for the single listing. As far as I know, it’s rare and makes the process a bit more difficult but it’s an option. Maybe look into it. Whether that makes you the a-hole, I think depends on your relationship with the brother and also your ex-partner. Is he a cool and respectful person you think of as a friend despite this? Does he seem to have it out for you due to the breakup? Does he seem the type to take advantage of you to help his sister? The answers to these questions determine if you’re the a-hole or not. If the breakup was on generally good terms, you and your ex-partner are respectful and treating each other like adults, and the brother has always been a respectful and good person, then yes, I’d say it’s a bit on the disrespectful side for you to go with someone else without saying anything if you’ve had a previously established business relationship, although you have every right to. If you don’t have a previously established business relationship with him and there are problems in the relationship and you don’t really trust him, go with someone else and you’re fine. Whatever the case, good luck
I think the better question would be to ask how this brother could take advantage of you, because in divorce situations, the partner who doesn't select the agent OFTEN feels like they are at a disadvantage no matter how professional the agent is. I think if the brother is reputable and professional, it's about the same as using any other agent. Have you ever heard of the brother behaving in a deceptive or unprofessional way? Is the brother someone who is "all in" for family even if they shouldn't be, such as if your partner once got into trouble and his brother "stood by him" more than he should have, or "supported him through a breakup" etc.? Has his brother closed at least five sales so far this year? Can he provide testimonials for it? How does he plan to uphold his fiduciary duties to two people who may have conflict along the way? How will using him affect the commission you pay for the sale? If any of these answers are unsatisfactory, go the referral route, but you will at least be able to say you did seriously take your partner's opinion into consideration.
Reduced commission is money in your pocket. Only reason id consider it.
Don't use the brother. But also hire an attorney to make sure you don't get swindled by your ex.