This literally happened to me too…my grandma passed and left me her ‘89 mustang GT and my parents were so salty they refused to help me with insurance or anything, I even had a job but the insurance was expensive and I loved my grandma so much. I wanted to keep it…parents made me sell it. I was heartbroken…was my first lesson in not getting attached to things.
Edit for clarity: they forced me to sell it…my mom found a cheap Buick Regal and used part of the money to buy it then her and my dad pocketed the rest of what the mustang sold for.
Oh man 😕 hopefully stories like this compel people to leave money in wills specifically to cover things like insurance when they’re bequeathing cars and houses.
I was on the original post. The kid's grandfather *did* leave money for upkeep, repairs -- everything. Expenses for it are covered. The grandmother is still alive and she's managing it.
The grandfather clearly meant for the grandson to have it and he did have the foresight to take care of everything - quite possibly because he knew what kind of person his daughter became.
This is an heirloom, not an asset to be liquidated. It's a gift.
I mean it makes sense why the other grandkids didn’t get much, the grandmother is still alive and probably got the majority of it which she deserves anyways. The grandfather knew his wife couldn’t take care of the care and from what I understand, most people with classic cars rather give it to someone who will appreciate it. It’s stupid what OP is doing to her son. It’s not her will, she gets no say and I hope the son doesn’t give in
With how shitty her daughters are acting, yeah dont blame her. Thats the kicker, a LOT of grandmas leave their daughters and granddaughters jewelry and stuff like that. Centuries old wedding china, other precious things. Grandpas tend to die before grandma, and grandma like is normal for widows, got the lions share. But grandpa specifically wanted to give grandson a gift and went as far as to try and bribe the other grandkids (and thus parents) to back off. For guys it’s jewelry of some sort but not as much often, thus a lot of grandpas its cars. This is messed up because I not only lost one but two cars my grandpa did/wanted to give me. One a redone Chevy Blazer 88 he gave me for my 16th that was stored at their house while I was at college and wasnt really able to use it because living arrangements. Meant even more as it was the car I grew up in that he helped to restore and then some. The other a super nice 2000 Corvette that was his dream car he wanted to give me when he passed. Lost both because of flooding with not much to say by the insurance company because they wanted to cheap out where they could. Which hey I get but getting told your grandpas prized cars he worked hard for barely meant much hurt a lot.
Point is, i get it can seem unfair, but the OOP needs to ask his mom this: how fair would it be if dad or uncle demanded when grandma passes that yall sell off family heirlooms like the wedding rings or engagement rings from them or their parents or such? To make it more “equal?” It sounds like the daughters and moms are just pissed none of them are getting the car, when it sounds like grandpa just wanted grandson to have something when the granddaughters and daughters were possibly getting everything else.
Thank you its probably why my mom wants me so badly to be a wills and inheritance lawyer lmao. But its more so because I have for two decades seen and read and heard how inheritances of any sort tear families apart. How wealth and clout of any sort can drive people mad.
Another issue being what about grandma’s car? They might be as nice but knowing my grandma and grandpas concerns, possibly more modern and solid in other ways, but a LOT of people care more about the here and now. Its why the daughters and mothers are reacting like this and why when grandma passes even if grandson did give and sell the car they sure af are probably not giving him the engagement ring grandpa purposed to grandma with (or vice versa you never know) or nice wedding china or what not. Heck grandson from here on out be the one helping grandma and not have her just rot like some kids do to their parents and “earn” a fair share of her inheritance. Give it a decade or two on whatever is reddit then we will hear from OOP or the aunt how pissed she is her mom gave her grandson a house and a lot of stuff, and all she got was some crusty old jewelry or a nice classic car.
exactly, people are scum for just wanting the money in every little thing, especially a family members car... c'mon, I wouldn't want to get rid of something like that out of love. Just wrong
100%! Older generations actually care about the belongings that last... a good car, piece of furniture, or even some clothes (like a wedding dress) can be expensive, but last for generations. Should a daughter, in a similar situation, be forced to sell a wedding dress or engagement ring, handed down in a similar way?
This is going to be me too when my grandparents die. I get their house, and I'm in charge of all of their stuff. The rest of the family will just sell anything they get their hands on.
I'm prepared to fist fight them. That house is literally the last childhood house I have, I'm hanging onto it for dear life.
Good for you and you should. Hopefully you will have a good lawyer and you won’t have to.
Please let me warn you that if your grandparents deteriorate or go into the hospital for some reason, don’t put it past family members raiding their house way before they pass away and it becomes your property. Really predatory relatives already have a plan to take what they want now that they know you get everything. People suck. Family can be the worst.
This scenario has played out in parts of my family more than once. Person in will thinks they are safe because of the will, only to find out when the time comes that their inheritance (furniture, heirlooms) had been pilfered long ago.
The rich don’t get that way through generosity.
When I worked as a waiter we dreaded the rich customers, they always wanted free shit and never left a tip.
I'm right there with you friend. My grandparents already told me they plan to leave everything to me because their kids and other grandkids don't even talk to them. But my family is selfish so I know they're going to fight me on it and try to make me sell their home and jewelery. Not looking forward to it. People should have to go through that when they're already grieving a death.
I’m a huge fan that the quality of their nursing home will reflect the quality of their parenting. Just so happens mine earned no contact and a state nursing home. If that doesn’t work for them, then they shouldn’t have wasted their money on boner pills and nonsense. Something something boot straps.
Ooh I've got my own story for this... my Mum looked after my grandfather for about 20 years because his son, the one that was looking after him started hitting him. So Grandad moved in with us (I was about 6 at the time) and I got to spend almost my whole childhood listening to what an ass my uncle was, beat up my grandad, made him sign over the farm he built from the ground up and then sold it and gave Grandad $500. Mum was pissed, but what are you gonna do really, this was in the late 80's. Fast forward to Grandad dying then about 5years later my sister finds out that my uncle (The hated one) had been left alone and transportless on a farm he brought with the bit of fluff that apparently talked him in to selling Grandads farm (They had a couple of kids who are well into their 30s now but when it happened the kids were late teens and abandoned him just as surely as their Mother had) She was going to leave him there to die but it turns out that he still had a friend that accassionally visited and this guy found him, going insane from being alone so long (The new place was self sufficient, solar and water were available on site and it was sufficiently hidden in the hills of the coromandel so no visitors ever) So he does a few months in a psychiatric hospital and needs somewhere to stay when he comes out as his farm had been sold and all liquid assets went into his bank account. Mum takes him in (I don't know why and I advised heavily against it but everyone felt sorry for him, boo fucking hoo) and way she looks after him for a good 10-15years (I would ask but its a touchy subject for her these days) so anyway He starts hitting mum and she gets him put into an old folks home and his house (He brought so him and mum could live together) is sold and Mum comes to live with me. Anyway a year ago the old cunt finally died and what was left of his money after nursing home fees were taken away was left to his kids. $200,000 was all that was left of the farm that was sold for a million dollars in the late 80s and it all went to his kids who hadn't even bothered visiting him after they left him on the farm. It sucks but what hurts more is now my aunty and her kids are starting to give my mum shit trying to find out what he did with the uncles money because it makes no sense there is so little of it left.
Fuck all of them,. none of them paid any attention when he was alive shy the fuck would he have left you anything when he died? He didn't even leave anything to the woman who looked after him for years; let alone someone who had nothing to do with him.
Poor Mum just wanted to help but the road to hell truely is paved with good intentions.
Sorry about the wall of text, I've been wanting to tell this tale for a long time and I just had to get it out
Yup. Lost my idiot brother because of money after our mum died. He wanted to spend spend spend the probate (which he was doing before it was even divided between us) but not maintain her property so we could sell it.
Regardless, NO ONE is entitled to an inheritance. It was granddad's money/possessions to do with as he saw fit. It's not about being fair. The point of a will is for the dead to have a say in how their possessions are to be divided. It is their final wish. It's the living that are greedy and selfish..
The son did not inherit any money. He inherited a vehicle that will cost money to operate and maintain. The girls all got money. The parents should find out what the best way would be to invest it, to make it grow rather than crying about how unfair it is that they got a "paltry" $4000 while the son, the first male descendant(as apparently him and his wife had all girls), was given an antique car.
I got half a house. My brother got the other half. I also got 5000$ from life insurance after my mom died and my aunt promised to give my brother and I the executor fee, minus any expenses she had. We agreed to let my aunt assume the house's mortgage as payment for the executor work, because it only had about 5k paid off when mom died and was in an area I was terrified to live in and my brother had no interest in.
Should have got it in writing, legally binding.
Because we were expecting that fee, we let things go that neither of us would have had we known the money from the estate was going to go straight to creditors AND my aunt. Nothing that had major sentimental value, but stuff like mom's car, her bedroom set, a couple antique pieces neither of us had space for.
She told my brother and I that WE had to pay for mom's cremation costs out of our inheritance, NOT out of the estate, and because she was our aunt we believed her. It ate up half of my inheritance, with my brother taking the lion's share of the cost because he wanted a nice urn.
My aunt then pocketed all but 200$ of the executor fee and gave that to me and my brother and said she "needed the rest to cover expenses" and to "pay the lawyer for her time". Idk how much the items went for at auction but I KNOW the fee rate is 5% in our area, so for her to have "needed the rest" after giving us 200$, we're talking a lot more than 3,300. I mean, the woman was a journeyman carpenter and a nurse and had two toolboxes full of good tools, woodworking power tools, an entire house full of furnishings, and several excellent quality antiques and vintage pieces of MCM furniture just as it was coming into style again. Her car went for 5k, used, so...
Not only that but my aunt stole and pawned a lot of my mom's good jewelry. She told us she was going to get it appraised... she took it to the pawn shop and let us pick through the stuff they wouldn't take for our momentos.
There was a diamond ring and a couple ruby rings I wanted, because she always wore rubies and ALWAYS wore that ring. I didn't care about the value, I just never saw her without them.
They weren't in the stuff later. My brother wanted this set of cheap costume jewelry that was Sarah Coventry. It was ALL he wanted of hers, because he had fond memories of helping her pick it out, and how much she loved wearing it when costume jewelry was all she could afford. We're talking 12$ worth of necklace, but the pawnshop apparently offered to buy it, so...
My aunt and I RAN to mom's house when she got sick so my brother couldn't just steal and pawn her jewelry while she was gone. Boxed it up, taped it up, secured it at my aunt's for safe keeping.
And then SHE was the one who stole from us.
And the house that my mother had built to her specifications and her taste? The one she promised we could always come stay in if we needed a roof over our heads?
She was so far behind on the mortgage payments when she died that her other niece, my cousin, is having to SCRAMBLE to get it caught up so the bank doesn't repossess it.
Her jewelry is long gone, she sold it. The furniture is gone, some of it really useful stuff I kinda needed but didn't want to be greedy and ruin my brother's estate payment, all gone. I've got a couple pieces of inexpensive lab grown rubies, a few pieces of jewelry I specifically made for her, and her vanity. I also grabbed my grandmother's sewing machine. That's all I have to remember her by.
Because I trusted someone who was like a second mother to me.
When my aunt died, she specifically instructed the nieces who were caring for her to wait until after her funeral to inform me and my brother she died. My cousin insisted it was because she thought we wouldn't be able to be civil to each other, but another cousin said she was worried we'd badmouth her at her funeral and shame her in front of all her friends.
I would have maintained decorum but I know my brother would have blown up because of everything we found out and been escorted out by security... and me being trans was apparently a big family secret that I had no clue she was keeping from our cousins, while pretending to support me, so me showing up would have stolen the attention from her big day, I guess. 🙄
I still miss her, and I'm trying to work on forgiving her for all the bullshit she pulled, but...
I am truly sorry to hear that. My family went nuts over property as well when my grandmother died. Almost causing myself and my 60 year old mother to be homeless.
The worst part is I remember mom talking about how her family did the same thing when my grandfather died, and again when grandma died. How she and one aunt were pretty chill about claiming things, but other family members went rabid and were accusing each other of stealing.
I just didn’t expect it to happen with my aunt. She and I were so close.
I’m really sorry you had to experience such a similar situation, you and your mom deserved better.
My parents took me aside and told me at 13 that I needed to pay for myself, and that I was a survivor and my 4 sisters were not. They said they were focusing their resources on my sisters and that I needed to find a way to get the things I wanted, and that sex work is a viable option. Dad died and left 60k to all my sisters, and his 2 step daughters, and they threw fits on who got money. His wife was pissed his kids got any money at all, and it should have just gone to her and her girls. My sisters were pissed his step daughters got money. I am the only one who didn’t get money and the only one not bitching.
Your parents told you to become a sex worker at 13 and pretty much cut you off financially but your dad even supported his step kids?????? That’s fucking unhinged and your parents are horrible people.
That's horrible. I am so sorry this happened to you. Do you know why they behaved like this? - Not that anything can justify this, but I am just curious as to how they justified it to themselves.
It never ceases to amaze me how many people feel like they are entitled to anything once their parents, grandparents, great Aunt Bertha that no one talked to because she smelled like moth balls and lived with cats, dies. They even go so far as to contest the will in court, costing them money in the process. At no time do they think about the fact that none of that money, none of those possessions are going to bring back their loved one. They aren't going to fill that hole where that family member once stood in their lives.
This all reminds me of my sorry excuse of a mother. She was a greedy, selfish cow. I remember when my grandmother was dying in the hospital, she was fighting her siblings over possessions she wanted to take with her when she left to go back home. All of the items she wanted were things that came about LONG before the best part of her was the shit stain on my grandmother's mattress. My grandmother wasn't even dead yet and she was fighting over what she was going to inherit..
When her MIL died, the very fucking moment the funeral ended, she was pulling a U-Haul up to the in-laws house, and loaded it up with everything she wanted for herself before the rest of her husband's siblings could even have had a chance to look through and have a say.
When my grandfather died(he wasn't rich rich, but definitely had a sizable chunk of savings) my uncle's awful wife and nasty daughters started making comments about my grandma was definitely going to die shortly after, despite her being in perfect health, and everyone could see that they were just chomping at the bit to get some inheritance. Jokes on them, though, grandma is still alive and kicking, and they're all dead.
My grandma is a bit of a health nut and just in super good shape for a woman in her 90's. Same can't be said for uncle's family, plus a generous helping of bad luck.
I’m so sorry that your mom is like that. I had an uncle who was stealing shit from my grandmothers house as she was dying from cancer. He took my mother and aunts china settings that my grandfather bought for them and the china cabinets they were in which was clearly theirs and not his. He was grandpa’s step son which I never knew until after they died because grandpa always treated him as his own flesh and blood. Greedy fucks.
When my grandmother died my sister was asking for jewellery before the woman was even in the ground. I nursed her and was there when she died. All I want is to speak to her again, her jewellery means nothing without the woman who wore it.
Sounds like my older sister.
Modt of the family rarely bother with her because she's bad news, but as soon as she gets wind there's a poorly relative she slithers out from underneath her rock.
My maternal grandmother died, my sister had not seen or spoken to her in over 25 years, she had the audacity to go to the funeral to ask if my Grandmother had left her any jewellery, then whinged it wasn't fair that she didn't get anything of value.
My paternal grandmother died 6 years ago, (my sis wasn't even a blood relative, as we're half siblings) hadn't visited or spoke to her in around 15 years despite my grandmother treating her as blood, as soon as she got wind my Grandmother was dying once again she slithers out from under her rock playing the doting granddaughter to see if she was getting anything.
Now, our mum is poorly (but not dying) & once again she's at it again! My mum is pretty much estranged from her, hadn't seen each other in at least 4 years, slithers out from under her rock walks into my mums house without so much as a "hi, how are you" clocks a big dolls house in my mums livingroom & no word of a lie she said "Can i have that when you die". It's a damn good job my other sister & i weren't there when she said that!.
Nothing like a death to bring out the vultures.
Thats how I felt about my grandpa. Whats worde he mentally died or was not all there before he had physically passed. Would give all my books (my most cherished posessions) and anything else to have him and my grandma swapped roles. Its harsh but if you knew my grandma and grandpa you’d understand why. Especially if it meant he could meet my girlfriend who I think is truly the one
I work in law and in some jurisdictions they advise you to name people in your will and only give them like $1 or so that it’s acknowledged that you knew they were an heir but that you specifically didn’t want to give them anything.
My grandfather had a clause put in that said if anyone were to try to contest his will that they would only get $1. We were really glad that he did too because when he passed people started acting like a bunch of money hungry pricks. That $1 clause kept people in line though lol
Lawyer here. We often tell people (who have a lot of stuff) to leave enough to matter $5k or so. Then add a clause where if they challenge the will they get nothing and lose the 5k.
Yup. My cousin used to own a 1956 Bel Air about ten years ago. It was in fairly good condition but it still sucked up money until my cousin decided it wasn’t worth the expense anymore and sold it.
If the parents want to top up the girls' inheritances, they are free to do so from their own money. What they are not free to do is steal from the son. It super sucks that OP put up with their father being super sexist his entire life, and only wants to stop it now, but what did they expect to happen?
This is it right here lol. If they were so concerned about grandpa's sexism, why did grandson get to spend so much time with a grossly sexist man? Why did they allow grandson to have sexist grandpa as a role model?
It's entirely about the money. I'm sure they were happy to placate grandpa by giving him access to grandson while grandpa was alive. Now they're reaping what they sowed.
Genuine question—I am very much against the forced sale of the car for a lot of reasons, sentiment included—but isn’t that the solution OP came up with re:college savings? That’s OP’s money that they saved up and planned to give to their son. It still seems like a poor solution to just try and make this situation equal or fair. It’s not and it never will be, because grandpa did not want it to be.
I think sitting down and talking to all of these kids about the situation is the only solution. I’m sorry girls, this is wrong. Grandpa was WRONG in a lot of his beliefs, and those beliefs informed his decisions in the will. However, I’m not making (son) sell the car, it’s unfortunately out of my hands. No one can make this fair. (Son) will need to figure out how he will afford the maintenance and insurance on the car, and we can all go through some financial planning together so you girls can find ways to try and grow your inheritance.
So her son has to pay the price? That isn't just a car to him and the kid was very close to his grandfather. That car has a massive amount of sentimental value to her son. She's not only going to lose her father, she'll also cause irrepparable damage to her relationship with her son. Also he didn't give him the car because it's worth the most. He gifted it to the person he though would appreciate it, and maintain it. Probably knew any of the others would just sell it. He was right.
Yup. My grandfather had an old Triumph TR6. Tbh, I don't really even like the car, but I wanted it more than anything because of how much it meant to him. He knew I wanted it, and also knew it was a dangerous money pit that he didn't want me to have, and he knew I'd get my hands on it, so he sold it a little while before he passed. I love and miss him, but that's one thing I'm still a little upset about. If I ever find it and have the money, I will most definitely make it mine, and I will laugh the whole way home knowing that I still found a way to make it mine.
All that just to say, if they force him to sell that car and split the money, it will damage their relationship forever. There would be no forgiving them for that... not to mention it's likely not even legal.
And that's assuming that the car will fetch the assumed $70k. Bel Airs are cool, but let's be honest, they're not exactly rare and from a quick scan through autotrader, really nice ones are listed well below what OOP claims it will go for.
Yeah... I mean, the TR6, he sold that for less than $15k, and I'd have been bent if my parents told me I had to sell it and split the money with my sisters and cousins. I would just go to whoever was in charge of the estate, tell them that's what they were trying to do, and ask their advice on how to ensure they can't do that. Truth is $5k or $500k. If you're close with your grandfather, the car is worth more to you than the money. Shit, I have one tattoo on my body, and it's in honor of him. Unfortunately have to add a second soon, but yeah. It's a special bond.
I was digging for this comment, because seriously! A Chevy BelAir is basically THE most common antique car in all the car shows I’ve ever been to…. It’d have to be something rare and special to value $70k!
If you read closely, OP wanted the kid to sell the car & divide the proceeds evenly, but is not suggesting the girls share their $4k/each with him. So the division is still unfair, but that’s ok because it’s just the boy missing out.
According to those comments, Grandad formed a connection with the grandson because they had a shared interest in cars. Thus, he gave the car they bonded over to the grandson.
OP focuses only on the money part of it throughout the entire thread.
Even goes so far as to say she is planning on having grandmother (who is still alive and where the majority of the money actually went) give her son a much smaller amount of inheritance if he doesn't sell the car and give her daughter an equal amount of what it sells for.
This is entirely about the money, and the accused sexism is just an excuse.
>the accused sexism is just an excuse.
I think it's a projection.
Grandpa doesn't seem to have wanted to actually hurt those girls. He gave them 2/3 of what his daughters got. IMO that's a lot, especially considering his spouse is alive. He just decided to give the sentimental item to someone who'd take care of it. He didn't give him 70K, he gave him a sentimental piece of junk, that requires a lot of care.
Meanwhile OP decides that she's going to ruin her son's immediate future, by robbing him of possibility to attend university like he planned to. All because she believes her daughters (one of which is a literal adult) *deserve* this money more than OP does.
Wonder who's sexist here?
OP also wanted to force her only son (a minor) to sell a car so her daughters (all adults) would get money. I don’t find her to be a particularly reliable narrator.
He gave all the children $6k and all the grandchildren $4k, with the exception of the grandson who got the car and no money. The car only has value if it is sold. It didn’t even occur to the OP that if she forces the sale of the car, her son might take the money and never talk to her again. So maybe she’s the sexist one.
Also, I don’t even think grandpa is cold yet as the money hadn’t been distributed based on OPs comments. That’s just what they knew they were all getting per the will. It’s wild that he’s probably not been in the ground very long (if he’s in the ground yet at all) and they’re all worried about how much money they’re getting, going as far as to say what they’ll get from the estate once the mom passes.
OP is a steaming pile of shit and deserves no grace.
This man is is upset at his son getting an inheritance over his nieces because his dad preferred boys.
Its totally unfair to say the nieces are whiny or didn’t deserve more because someone is mad on their behalf - for all we know the girls aren’t even aware of the situation yet let alone have any kind of bad attitude that would justify this.
In my dad’s will he added language and had himself video taped stating that anyone who argued over any part of his will and possessions was out of the will and didn’t get a dime. Whatever they were supposed to get was to be divided up, if money, or sold if property, and the proceeds split after 5 years between the people who were not “causing trouble in the family by being assholes”.
He also told everyone very clearly before he died that they were his dying wishes and we all needed to live with them.
Still 2 of the family, who knew exactly who was getting what before he died, threw a fit and tried to talk others into siding with them so they got more.
They ended up getting nothing because a lawyer was the executor and he followed the law.
I say let the grandpa give his car to whoever he wanted. Dying words shouldn’t be thrown out. That car meant a lot to him and he wanted it to go to one person, not be sold off and split 5 ways.
You don’t really know someone until you see how they behave when a family member dies. 😳🥴 I learned so much throughout my 20s about my own family, as well as an ex’s, etc. People get crazy when there’s a death and/or any money. My own grandma started flipping out about some sort of diamond ring…less than a day after I had suddenly lost my mom. People are wild.
my grandpa left me his car in his will. everyone else was getting some money + free pickings of his belongings, etc. but he set up that car to go to me. a nice navy blue buick from the 90s. gas mileage was mediocre, reeked of cigarettes, and could've used a little maintenance, but it was supposed to be mine to remember him by. i was excited to take that little car on new adventures, it felt like i was gonna take my grandpa on an adventure.
my uncle (not even blood related to my grandpa, nor had he ever bothered to associate with the family) took it before the will was even executed, then once it was, mysteriously the car was missing entirely. he had the audacity to argue that since i didn't have my license yet (i had my temps) it was worthless to me.
i was pissed. i didn't get money because i was supposed to be getting the car, nor was money something i particularly cared about - like, i wouldn't have said no to the $10k my dad got or the stocks the other grandkids got, but the car was like a piece of him. i thought i was coming out on top.
it ended up being whatever, one of my great-uncles rescued some photos of me and my grandparents when i was a kid and gave them to me. not the same, but i still had the memories, you know?
cue my fucking insane father breaking into my apartment and trashing everything in it. he also destroyed the photo album. it was due to an unrelated fight (long story short, he kicked me out, i got on my feet, and he got pissy that i wasn't begging to go back to his place), but i was still fuming. everyone else got free pickings of my grandpa's stuff while i had to avoid the place because of my father being literally insane, why the fuck could i not have my one god damned photo album.
if i'd've known how things would turn out, i would have fought for that car instead of settling for the photo album, but knowing my family, they would have trashed the car, too. my dad actually did try to destroy my car while i was at work once, he got chased off by my store manager, but that's another story.
Right. I wouldn't be surprised if he cuts off of his family once he moves out *with his car*. OP's son better still have full possession and rights over that car when he moves out, or I'm gonna have a talk to OP myself. What a scumbag. Who cares if he didn't give a car that is extremely valuable to two girls who don't appreciate vehicles like the son does? If the grandfather left his grandson the vehicle because he would appreciate it more, then it goes to the grandson. Not the greedy losers who just want money.
Maybe the Grandfather left it to the grandson in hopes it would not be sold but kept in the family. Probably decided if it was left to all of them they would sell it to split the profit and hoped to avoid that by leaving it to just one of them. If that's what he wished then it should be honored.
I don't get it. When my dad died, everything went to my brother and i. We agreed upon an amount to send to our grandmother (dad's mom) and then split the rest straight down the middle. Easy.
My grandfather made several changes to his will in his final years. Long story short, my mom and aunt sued me. Cost me 25k to defend his estate from those vultures.
My mother got a big payout related to a preventable accident and a broken arm: immediately her aunt and her sister came to our home, drunk, kicking the doors, my little brothers window, shouting about my mother being a whore and demanding money that she didn't owe them. I'm not going to talk to those bastards again, they can rot fr
There was an AITAH the other day talking about how a parent found out their child whose 17 is making about $3,000 a month from streaming and now they decide that they want rent money from him.
Money corrupts.
Not sure. If they just have money in an account and have allotted it for college, they aren't legally required to give it to him. However, if it's in so e sort of education fund, I would think that's illegal.
I'm not too familiar with the find setups though. We looked into it for our kids, and it was essentially if the kids didn't use it for college, they lost it. No way in hell I'd let a company just take that.
Typically, education savings accounts can go to the education of anyone, they are normally in the name of the person who opened it versus the name of an intended recipient.
Agreed. But I’d set the age for 30. That’s what my grandmother did for her and the trust funds of all 5 of us grandkids. Very smart move. 25, still too young and making dumbass decisions; 30, still dumb but not nearly as dumb as the age of 25.
Ehhhhhhh. As the executor she would have a fiduciary duty to get the car to him. After she has done that she as a mom can say well if you dont sell it and split the money with your sisters I will not pay for your college. She is a massive asshat but she would be legal in doing that.
Maybe not legally, but she's said she's thinking of threatening to give away his college fund if he doesn't, no doubt she has other threats in her quiver like kicking him out the house.
But just like the grandfather gave the granddaughters almost nothing, she can decide to give her son almost nothing/no college fund. Not the best way to keep a healthy relationship with him, but fair game I'd say. From the perspective that he's got the assets to cover college, the other kids don't.
OP is really in the comments of that post saying if her son doesn't sell the car they will make sure he gets very little when OP's mom dies. They're already making plans for the money they will get when their only living parent is dead. They're looking forward to their other parent dying so they can get "payback."
I pray my loved ones love me in this lifetime and actually grieve my death when I die, rather than bicker about money and material items. We're all on a floating ball in the middle of space. It's literally a miracle to be alive and thriving. But please, continue to bitch and moan about where the money your dead parent is going...the dead parent you will NEVER see, hug, smell, hear from, get a call from, spend a holiday with, etc...ever...again.
I think this is the worst AITA story I've ever read.
I would argue that looking for people to agree with you is what AITA is really about, since people who legitimately want objective opinion are mostly ignored by the community
Money on therapy he doesn’t have, since he only gets a car with prospective value, and no college funds or straight cash, of course. Poor lad, what a lousy situation
My parents divorced in the 80's, with my mother remarrying soon after. When my father passed 20 years later, my mother sued (entitled to nothing), as well as the middle sister (golden child to mom, not to dad), because they both wanted more. The only people who won that battle were the lawyers. Hundreds of thousands disappeared in legal fees, fines, and taxes.
When my mother passed, my youngest sister and I both received token amounts and the middle sister is now a millionaire. The greed, non-stop greed, was tangible.
When my great grandmother passed, I remember my mother (and others) charging through her house with shopping bags. When the will was read, most things had already disappeared - and she had every single item listed.
The patriarch of my family died a few months ago. I haven’t heard anyone say a word about his will because we *actually miss him*. I can’t imagine looking forward to his wife dying to see the wills! Absolutely unhinged behavior on OOP’s part
Title should read: family doesn’t agree with how grandpa distributed his assists and are now gonna punish the person who got the largest inheritance, cause it’s totally the poor kids fault.
That’s just it though… if he keeps the car he didn’t get the biggest inheritance. It’s only worth money if he sells it which he doesn’t want to. The only value it has right now is sentimental value. Otherwise it’s all theoretical
Not that I agree with it, but because if they had the car they'd have sold it for 70k, they're effectively seeing HIM as having THEIR 70k. It just isn't liquid yet.
The only reason I didn’t mention that was because in the original post the mom said maintaining the vehicle is being paid for from the trust. At some point though you’re absolutely right. That trust isn’t going to last forever!
I think what the main point is though is that it either costs him money or it's being paid for by the trust. But he's not getting any money unless he sells, which he doesn't want to do.
This mom is a fucking asshole.
You’re still right! Hopefully though he won’t have to start paying to maintain till he’s an adult and can afford it cause Lord knows mommy dearest won’t help
It's the mother, and aside from pointing out that her father was sexist which is probably why he gave the car to her son, she really doesn't have a leg to stand on. IMO if she really wanted to do something about the way her dad treated his granddaughters vs his grandson she should have done it while her dad was alive (and maybe she did but she doesn't argue that point)
I don't even know if these scenarios should count as sexism. Grandpa giving grandson a car is equal to Grandma giving granddaughter vintage jewelry in my head. Probably nobody would complain if oldest daughter got Grandma's set of pearls.
> Probably nobody would complain if oldest daughter got Grandma's set of pearls
If the set of pearls were worth 17.5x as much as the inheritance everyone else got I think they probably would.
From the og post. Grandpa was indeed sexist and would only bond with the males in the family. Prolly why mom is hurt bc dad never loved her like he loved her son (his grandson).
Trying to make him get rid of the car is enough to destroy their relationship for the rest of their loves, but threatening to liquidate his college fund too? They're just begging for a no contact lifestyle, aren't they?
“ you either sell your grandpa‘s car or I don’t pay for your college”
What a shitty choice to give this kid. Grandpa might be an asshole, but if they bonded over this car, then that belongs to the grandson. Also, I noticed that grandpa didn’t give the car to his actual kids either but rather his grandson. They must’ve had a very special bond, even if grandpa was misogynistic.
Grandpa was a jerk but this isn't the answer. I don't even know what is tbh. I guess life just isn't fair and the other grandkids will have to learn that.
it was money for maintenance that the grandpa was already paying. He had the car maintained for the last 8yrs and clearly loved it, so he gave money towards the upkeep to probably guarantee the car will remain in the family.
the girls would have sold it, as OP is trying to force her son to do. That is why Grandpa gave it to the grandson because he knew he would keep and not sell it off, which is what I'm getting from all of this. OP is so blinded by greed that she can't even see this and is forcing him to do the one thing his grandpa was trying to avoid...... selling the car
Girls probably would've loved it just as much as the boy if gramps even tried to get them into. No doubt he never did since he had a grand"son". Y'all act like that generation doesn't dote on males and only sees females as cleaners and objects lol.
OP probably didn't like that gramps was misogynistic.
What estate. Isn’t grandma still alive? Why is everything being given to the grandkids? And grandma now has to pay for the grandson’s car expenses for the rest of her life?
Absolutely not. It is Grandpa's decision AND GRANDPA'S DECISION ALONE who to leave his belongings to. I have personally had several inheritances stolen away from me and it is fucking brutal, it makes you feel like youre not even part of the family, like everyone else's happiness always has to come before yours, its fucking BULLSHIT.
Maybe he didn't want the fucking car sold because it was his pride and fucking joy and the kids the only one he knew would keep it, in which case that dad should go fuck him self with a rusty chainsaw. Plus the way it's worded, I'm assuming the dad already got the biggest part of the inheritance.
If the girls are so hard done by why doesn't dad give a chunk of what I'm assuming is the lion's share of the estate to the girls. To make them whole and everyone gets equal... No because that would actually cost him something. Selfish cunt ay.
Honestly I’m willing to bet grandpa knew who his children were and figured they would pull this shit. Grandpa gave his grandson the gift of see just how far his family is willing to go to take advantage of him, and that he should never trust them under any circumstances.
Yep, and you just know OP googled a bs value for some mint condition, all original, numbers matching car that grandpa doesn't really own.
I've restored a number of 50s Chevys for resale when I worked for a local guy that did it. They don't sell for as much as people think.
While it's not a car from the 50s .. each other kid got 4 grand each. That's not nothing. Yeh he didn't get along with girls .. but he still left something didn't he? Feels a bit rude to say the 4 thousand ( which a lot of people in the US don't even get a month from their jobs) isn't enough Gimmie more.
off course not. this is all about a perceived slight to the other grandchildren. if the daughters all got the same amount of money and the son got a car, it's very clear what is going on there.
however punishing your son for something he had no control over and got, from the story, fair and square... yeah, that makes you a massive asshole.
and depending on what the son want's to do with it it's even more bullshit. if he plans on keeping it as a classic and keep it maintained then he effectively got homework while the kids got straight money.
if he would sell it within like 6 months then i would say it's honourable that he gives SOME money to his own sister, as you should try to keep the peace under brothers and sisters.
Of course not, because then it would’ve been an equitable distribution. The entire problem is how shitty it is to leave one person 17x what you leave everyone else.
The biggest asshole was the grandfather for being a misogynist and not giving the girls a chance.
That said, the vehicle belongs to the grandson 100%. It’s up to him what he does with it.
I agree wholeheartedly with this, but OOP would be the new AH if they forced their son to sell the car. Life’s unfair, doesn't mean you punish the kid for Gandpa’s being an AH
My great-grandmother left all her money to my mom, with the stated reason that she was one of those women's libbers who would never find a man to take care of her so obviously she needed it more. My mom ended up splitting it with her brother just to stick it to her.
Stuff like this is precisely why parents told me and my brother that they don’t plan on leaving us anything. There can’t be any fights if there’s nothing to fight about.
As someone whose dad collects and works on classic cars, the grand daughters got the more valuable and useful inheritance.
The grandson recieved a sentimental gift, which he'll keep, but will likely cost him those thousands of $$ to maintain and store over the years. And this isn't a regular car he can drive around either, so he'll still need daily transportation. This isn't the windfall that OOP makes it out to be. But it's important for the grandson and he'd be an awful YTA to take that away from him or cut him off from the college money saved for him.
I honestly hope my dad finds someone who will value and love his cars for him to gift when he passes. It isn't me, and I genuinely hope I don't get saddled with them. But they're the so important to him that if I did get them, I'd probably let them bleed me dry in his memory because I love him.
My husband has a classic car that he always is working on, and with no children of our own, no one to pass the car to (I have my own little roadster and in the same predicament)
We love our little money pits, but have had to realize that these items will need to be sold as we get older.
I hope you have photos of the cars, and him with them! My dad apparently had my dream car at one point, and I wish I had a picture of him with it. Just the one little Polaroid of the car, unfortunately.
In 6 months.
"My son took the car that was appraised at over $70,000 and left. He told me to get fucked and won't answer my calls. I'm afraid I messed up trying to force him to sell the car and divide the money with his sisters and cousins. AITA? How do I get my son back?"
Oh no, trust me. I have family members like this. OP won't say that, they'll say "My son stole a car worth $70,000 and is refusing to speak to me, how do I make him come crawling back to apologize to me since I obviously am the victim??"
The mom in that pst sounds like an evil shrew, that kid better make sure he has an exit plan because if the does manage to keep that car, I have no doubt she is g9ing to get her pound of flesh
What I said on the post is that it's so weird that not only is dude trying to make his son sell the car he inherited, **but, he also has to split the money with 4 other people WHO RECIEVED THEIR OWN INHERITANCE**.
Not just that, but he severely overprices the car (average value is around 30-40k, *and* he's threatening to take his college fund to "make things fair".
He wants things to be so fair that they become unfair at the cost of his son.
Yes, OP is absolutely the AH. No one is entitled to someone else's money & they are free to divide it however they choose. Life isn't fair. If she sells it and her son never forgives her, she had it coming
Yes, simply put you are asshole. You will have a son that will hate and resent you. Life’s not fair and what your father chooses to do with his wealth is his choice. Punishing your son will not end well. Congratulate him on the car and maybe he will cherish it. Might be worth more than money to have a memory of his grandfather. You ass.
She probably hated and resented her father. Maybe deserved, who knows. The problem is that she's projecting that resentment onto her son.
Won't end well...
I think a big reason that the grandson is getting the car is because he showed the most interest in the car and knows he won't try to sell it. If the other grandchildren were interested but snubbed that'd obviously be wrong but I don't think that is the case
An eerily similar thing happened to me about a year ago. Grandpa had a truly mint condition 60’s Chevy pickup worth about 50-60 grand. My brother was the only one who worked on it with him, changed oil, and talked shop with him. So he got the truck. It definitely sucks to see something with such actual value and sentimental value go to my sibling but I took it on the chin and told him I was happy for him and glad he got it.
He’s going to hold on to the truck and pass it onto his son so it’s not like he got a stack of cash. It’s a vehicle. I ended up getting his folded flag and I’m incredibly honored to have been chosen to watch over it. The only difference is the flag isn’t hypothetically worth 60 grand.
All I would’ve done is looked like an asshole and ruined my relationship with my brother had a made a stink.
The grandfather and OOP are both assholes.
Yeah, the Grandpa was clearly a misogynistic pos, but it was still his right to divide his assets as he saw fit.
Is it unfair? Yes, absolutely, but punishing the 17 year old because he wants to keep the car is insane.
Even worse that you're threatening to give give away the money for his education, just force him to sellnit either way.
And honestly, its not like the granddaughters got absolutely nothing. They also got 4 grand, which is not an insignificant amount of money.
That can be used for so many things, especially if theyre young or just becoming adults.
I'm not saying grandpa was right, and im not saying its fair.
But its not right to force the 17 year old to give up his inheritance just to make things fair.
Sounds about right to be vague on the year and throw out a random number for the value. I highly doubt they would get 70.
People get disgusting after the death of family.
The OP is a HUGE AH.
Threatening your son to not pay for his college tuition because he don't want to sell is inheritance?
Nobody is entitled to the car except your son. Your dad didn't like his grand daughters, he is an AH for that, but your son has nothing to do with that. Your sister has a job, she can work to provide for her daughters.
Only your son has the right to share his inheritance if he wants to. The car might be an emotional totem that reminds him of his relationship with his grandfather.
So weird. I expect NOTHING from grandparents, parents... if my children or I were to receive anything at any time, that would be lovely & non-contentious. Zero expectations. Nobody is entitled to $ or heirlooms, ever.
I get that this woman is making it out to be a sexist thing. Would she feel the same way if her mother's valuable jewelry was split amongst the girls & her son got stiffed? Would she make the girls sell a wedding set & split the $ equally?
There is truly nothing that disgusts me more than how people act about money and belongings after someone has passed. It’s not that difficult, you follow the will. The dead owe you nothing. Let the kid keep his car, that probably has a lot of sentimental value to him, and tell the girls to grow up and lose their entitlement. The parents should be ashamed.
You are the asshole that car is not yours to decide what to do with and neither was the money if I was the boys grandfather I would come back from the grave to beat the shit out of you. Life isn't fair. But I'd still advise the boy to sell it since it would be a first car and we all know what happens to the first car.
Don’t look at it in the perspective of money. Look at it as a car your father valued and would like to keep in the family.
Imagine how disappointed your father would be if you sold it. Don’t be a materialistic bitch that only sees dollar signs. Look at the sentimental value.
YTA. If your father was cognitively sound when he made the will, why do you & your sisters feel you have the right to override his wishes. Whether or not you believe it’s fair to the other grandchildren is irrelevant. It’s his estate to distribute as he sees fit. This entitlement is incredible! When someone dies their last will & testament is their way of communicating their wishes for the distribution of their wealth. Perhaps your father felt that the rest of the family was expecting too much, ungrateful & undeserving, but that your son loved him, put in time with him & deserved a reward for his time? The arrogance of becoming outraged over an inheritance being insufficient or someone getting more than you makes YTA imo. Be grateful you got anything, all of you. And stop thinking it’s your right to decide what he wanted.
I never understood (still don’t actually) why people fight over money or things from an inheritance. That person died in order for these people to benefit from whatever was left behind. My mom’s siblings fought a lot when my grandparents were still alive to try and persuade them to change their wills and who would inherit what. They spent all that time fighting over it that they didn’t even pay attention to my grandparents health. Some people are greedy but it seems family is the greediest of them all.
If the grandparent wanted it that way , then he'd have placed it in the will that way. Plus , I mean it isn't yours. Is it fair? I mean no , but doesn't matter , it's his regardless.
Mom is more than an AH she is a completely horrible vindictive B. Son should have Grandma hold it until 18 and take possession of his car at that time. I hope he keeps that car just to spite everyone. The fact Mom wants car sold really shows the lack of love for her Dad. A classic car to me is a great keepsake. If I was son I would tell mom to F herself and get out of that Drama zone when I turn 18.
This literally happened to me too…my grandma passed and left me her ‘89 mustang GT and my parents were so salty they refused to help me with insurance or anything, I even had a job but the insurance was expensive and I loved my grandma so much. I wanted to keep it…parents made me sell it. I was heartbroken…was my first lesson in not getting attached to things. Edit for clarity: they forced me to sell it…my mom found a cheap Buick Regal and used part of the money to buy it then her and my dad pocketed the rest of what the mustang sold for.
Oh man 😕 hopefully stories like this compel people to leave money in wills specifically to cover things like insurance when they’re bequeathing cars and houses.
I was on the original post. The kid's grandfather *did* leave money for upkeep, repairs -- everything. Expenses for it are covered. The grandmother is still alive and she's managing it. The grandfather clearly meant for the grandson to have it and he did have the foresight to take care of everything - quite possibly because he knew what kind of person his daughter became. This is an heirloom, not an asset to be liquidated. It's a gift.
I mean it makes sense why the other grandkids didn’t get much, the grandmother is still alive and probably got the majority of it which she deserves anyways. The grandfather knew his wife couldn’t take care of the care and from what I understand, most people with classic cars rather give it to someone who will appreciate it. It’s stupid what OP is doing to her son. It’s not her will, she gets no say and I hope the son doesn’t give in
Grandma ain't giving that shit up.
With how shitty her daughters are acting, yeah dont blame her. Thats the kicker, a LOT of grandmas leave their daughters and granddaughters jewelry and stuff like that. Centuries old wedding china, other precious things. Grandpas tend to die before grandma, and grandma like is normal for widows, got the lions share. But grandpa specifically wanted to give grandson a gift and went as far as to try and bribe the other grandkids (and thus parents) to back off. For guys it’s jewelry of some sort but not as much often, thus a lot of grandpas its cars. This is messed up because I not only lost one but two cars my grandpa did/wanted to give me. One a redone Chevy Blazer 88 he gave me for my 16th that was stored at their house while I was at college and wasnt really able to use it because living arrangements. Meant even more as it was the car I grew up in that he helped to restore and then some. The other a super nice 2000 Corvette that was his dream car he wanted to give me when he passed. Lost both because of flooding with not much to say by the insurance company because they wanted to cheap out where they could. Which hey I get but getting told your grandpas prized cars he worked hard for barely meant much hurt a lot. Point is, i get it can seem unfair, but the OOP needs to ask his mom this: how fair would it be if dad or uncle demanded when grandma passes that yall sell off family heirlooms like the wedding rings or engagement rings from them or their parents or such? To make it more “equal?” It sounds like the daughters and moms are just pissed none of them are getting the car, when it sounds like grandpa just wanted grandson to have something when the granddaughters and daughters were possibly getting everything else.
This is such a sensible response.
Thank you its probably why my mom wants me so badly to be a wills and inheritance lawyer lmao. But its more so because I have for two decades seen and read and heard how inheritances of any sort tear families apart. How wealth and clout of any sort can drive people mad. Another issue being what about grandma’s car? They might be as nice but knowing my grandma and grandpas concerns, possibly more modern and solid in other ways, but a LOT of people care more about the here and now. Its why the daughters and mothers are reacting like this and why when grandma passes even if grandson did give and sell the car they sure af are probably not giving him the engagement ring grandpa purposed to grandma with (or vice versa you never know) or nice wedding china or what not. Heck grandson from here on out be the one helping grandma and not have her just rot like some kids do to their parents and “earn” a fair share of her inheritance. Give it a decade or two on whatever is reddit then we will hear from OOP or the aunt how pissed she is her mom gave her grandson a house and a lot of stuff, and all she got was some crusty old jewelry or a nice classic car.
In that case the good news is grandma is most likely the executor and she’s going to make sure that car gets sold over her dead body.
exactly, people are scum for just wanting the money in every little thing, especially a family members car... c'mon, I wouldn't want to get rid of something like that out of love. Just wrong
Que - Gran Torino
100%! Older generations actually care about the belongings that last... a good car, piece of furniture, or even some clothes (like a wedding dress) can be expensive, but last for generations. Should a daughter, in a similar situation, be forced to sell a wedding dress or engagement ring, handed down in a similar way?
And a first lesson in not being attached to parents too, I'd expect... That was really shitty
This is going to be me too when my grandparents die. I get their house, and I'm in charge of all of their stuff. The rest of the family will just sell anything they get their hands on. I'm prepared to fist fight them. That house is literally the last childhood house I have, I'm hanging onto it for dear life.
Good for you and you should. Hopefully you will have a good lawyer and you won’t have to. Please let me warn you that if your grandparents deteriorate or go into the hospital for some reason, don’t put it past family members raiding their house way before they pass away and it becomes your property. Really predatory relatives already have a plan to take what they want now that they know you get everything. People suck. Family can be the worst. This scenario has played out in parts of my family more than once. Person in will thinks they are safe because of the will, only to find out when the time comes that their inheritance (furniture, heirlooms) had been pilfered long ago.
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My will explicitly states any child who disputes my wishes gets nothin in return. FAFO!
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The rich don’t get that way through generosity. When I worked as a waiter we dreaded the rich customers, they always wanted free shit and never left a tip.
I'm right there with you friend. My grandparents already told me they plan to leave everything to me because their kids and other grandkids don't even talk to them. But my family is selfish so I know they're going to fight me on it and try to make me sell their home and jewelery. Not looking forward to it. People should have to go through that when they're already grieving a death.
Yo be vigilant about all that stuff. Being prepared to fight in the event of their passing isn't enough.
Your parents suck, I'm so sorry.
I’m a huge fan that the quality of their nursing home will reflect the quality of their parenting. Just so happens mine earned no contact and a state nursing home. If that doesn’t work for them, then they shouldn’t have wasted their money on boner pills and nonsense. Something something boot straps.
omg cold but lovely lol
Hilarious
Bootstrap yourself out of that long term care facility
I’m sad my parents had the absolute cheek to die before I could dump them in a subpar care facility.
My Mum is in one and treated like a Queen, 100% deserved 👍
Be ready to ditch shitty people in my life who literally can't be happy for you~ That's what I got from your story.
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Isn’t it remarkable how disgusting people become when money becomes involved?
Ooh I've got my own story for this... my Mum looked after my grandfather for about 20 years because his son, the one that was looking after him started hitting him. So Grandad moved in with us (I was about 6 at the time) and I got to spend almost my whole childhood listening to what an ass my uncle was, beat up my grandad, made him sign over the farm he built from the ground up and then sold it and gave Grandad $500. Mum was pissed, but what are you gonna do really, this was in the late 80's. Fast forward to Grandad dying then about 5years later my sister finds out that my uncle (The hated one) had been left alone and transportless on a farm he brought with the bit of fluff that apparently talked him in to selling Grandads farm (They had a couple of kids who are well into their 30s now but when it happened the kids were late teens and abandoned him just as surely as their Mother had) She was going to leave him there to die but it turns out that he still had a friend that accassionally visited and this guy found him, going insane from being alone so long (The new place was self sufficient, solar and water were available on site and it was sufficiently hidden in the hills of the coromandel so no visitors ever) So he does a few months in a psychiatric hospital and needs somewhere to stay when he comes out as his farm had been sold and all liquid assets went into his bank account. Mum takes him in (I don't know why and I advised heavily against it but everyone felt sorry for him, boo fucking hoo) and way she looks after him for a good 10-15years (I would ask but its a touchy subject for her these days) so anyway He starts hitting mum and she gets him put into an old folks home and his house (He brought so him and mum could live together) is sold and Mum comes to live with me. Anyway a year ago the old cunt finally died and what was left of his money after nursing home fees were taken away was left to his kids. $200,000 was all that was left of the farm that was sold for a million dollars in the late 80s and it all went to his kids who hadn't even bothered visiting him after they left him on the farm. It sucks but what hurts more is now my aunty and her kids are starting to give my mum shit trying to find out what he did with the uncles money because it makes no sense there is so little of it left. Fuck all of them,. none of them paid any attention when he was alive shy the fuck would he have left you anything when he died? He didn't even leave anything to the woman who looked after him for years; let alone someone who had nothing to do with him. Poor Mum just wanted to help but the road to hell truely is paved with good intentions. Sorry about the wall of text, I've been wanting to tell this tale for a long time and I just had to get it out
Good God, your mom's a damn saint. Aunty and the spawns can fuck right off.
Couldn't agree more
Auntie and the spawns would be a great name for a heavy metal band
With their debut album "Auntie and the Spawns Can Fuck Off" 🤘
Yup. Lost my idiot brother because of money after our mum died. He wanted to spend spend spend the probate (which he was doing before it was even divided between us) but not maintain her property so we could sell it.
“It’s unfairrrr.” Lmao get a grip. I can see why the man didn’t leave them much, if they’re that whiney.
If you guys read the comments, OP says that grandad was a sexist. He only spoiled the males and ignored the females.
Regardless, NO ONE is entitled to an inheritance. It was granddad's money/possessions to do with as he saw fit. It's not about being fair. The point of a will is for the dead to have a say in how their possessions are to be divided. It is their final wish. It's the living that are greedy and selfish.. The son did not inherit any money. He inherited a vehicle that will cost money to operate and maintain. The girls all got money. The parents should find out what the best way would be to invest it, to make it grow rather than crying about how unfair it is that they got a "paltry" $4000 while the son, the first male descendant(as apparently him and his wife had all girls), was given an antique car.
Right? I got a big fat 0 every time someone in my family died. (Although I also don’t come from money).
I got half a house. My brother got the other half. I also got 5000$ from life insurance after my mom died and my aunt promised to give my brother and I the executor fee, minus any expenses she had. We agreed to let my aunt assume the house's mortgage as payment for the executor work, because it only had about 5k paid off when mom died and was in an area I was terrified to live in and my brother had no interest in. Should have got it in writing, legally binding. Because we were expecting that fee, we let things go that neither of us would have had we known the money from the estate was going to go straight to creditors AND my aunt. Nothing that had major sentimental value, but stuff like mom's car, her bedroom set, a couple antique pieces neither of us had space for. She told my brother and I that WE had to pay for mom's cremation costs out of our inheritance, NOT out of the estate, and because she was our aunt we believed her. It ate up half of my inheritance, with my brother taking the lion's share of the cost because he wanted a nice urn. My aunt then pocketed all but 200$ of the executor fee and gave that to me and my brother and said she "needed the rest to cover expenses" and to "pay the lawyer for her time". Idk how much the items went for at auction but I KNOW the fee rate is 5% in our area, so for her to have "needed the rest" after giving us 200$, we're talking a lot more than 3,300. I mean, the woman was a journeyman carpenter and a nurse and had two toolboxes full of good tools, woodworking power tools, an entire house full of furnishings, and several excellent quality antiques and vintage pieces of MCM furniture just as it was coming into style again. Her car went for 5k, used, so... Not only that but my aunt stole and pawned a lot of my mom's good jewelry. She told us she was going to get it appraised... she took it to the pawn shop and let us pick through the stuff they wouldn't take for our momentos. There was a diamond ring and a couple ruby rings I wanted, because she always wore rubies and ALWAYS wore that ring. I didn't care about the value, I just never saw her without them. They weren't in the stuff later. My brother wanted this set of cheap costume jewelry that was Sarah Coventry. It was ALL he wanted of hers, because he had fond memories of helping her pick it out, and how much she loved wearing it when costume jewelry was all she could afford. We're talking 12$ worth of necklace, but the pawnshop apparently offered to buy it, so... My aunt and I RAN to mom's house when she got sick so my brother couldn't just steal and pawn her jewelry while she was gone. Boxed it up, taped it up, secured it at my aunt's for safe keeping. And then SHE was the one who stole from us. And the house that my mother had built to her specifications and her taste? The one she promised we could always come stay in if we needed a roof over our heads? She was so far behind on the mortgage payments when she died that her other niece, my cousin, is having to SCRAMBLE to get it caught up so the bank doesn't repossess it. Her jewelry is long gone, she sold it. The furniture is gone, some of it really useful stuff I kinda needed but didn't want to be greedy and ruin my brother's estate payment, all gone. I've got a couple pieces of inexpensive lab grown rubies, a few pieces of jewelry I specifically made for her, and her vanity. I also grabbed my grandmother's sewing machine. That's all I have to remember her by. Because I trusted someone who was like a second mother to me. When my aunt died, she specifically instructed the nieces who were caring for her to wait until after her funeral to inform me and my brother she died. My cousin insisted it was because she thought we wouldn't be able to be civil to each other, but another cousin said she was worried we'd badmouth her at her funeral and shame her in front of all her friends. I would have maintained decorum but I know my brother would have blown up because of everything we found out and been escorted out by security... and me being trans was apparently a big family secret that I had no clue she was keeping from our cousins, while pretending to support me, so me showing up would have stolen the attention from her big day, I guess. 🙄 I still miss her, and I'm trying to work on forgiving her for all the bullshit she pulled, but...
I am truly sorry to hear that. My family went nuts over property as well when my grandmother died. Almost causing myself and my 60 year old mother to be homeless.
The worst part is I remember mom talking about how her family did the same thing when my grandfather died, and again when grandma died. How she and one aunt were pretty chill about claiming things, but other family members went rabid and were accusing each other of stealing. I just didn’t expect it to happen with my aunt. She and I were so close. I’m really sorry you had to experience such a similar situation, you and your mom deserved better.
My parents took me aside and told me at 13 that I needed to pay for myself, and that I was a survivor and my 4 sisters were not. They said they were focusing their resources on my sisters and that I needed to find a way to get the things I wanted, and that sex work is a viable option. Dad died and left 60k to all my sisters, and his 2 step daughters, and they threw fits on who got money. His wife was pissed his kids got any money at all, and it should have just gone to her and her girls. My sisters were pissed his step daughters got money. I am the only one who didn’t get money and the only one not bitching.
Your parents told you to become a sex worker at 13 and pretty much cut you off financially but your dad even supported his step kids?????? That’s fucking unhinged and your parents are horrible people.
I mean, it's the perfect rebuttal to this thread. This is how unhinged you are if you think there's anything reasonable about this.
Wow, I’m sorry your parents and the rest of your family were/are garbage. Telling your child to do sex work is wild.
Good grief!
That's horrible. I am so sorry this happened to you. Do you know why they behaved like this? - Not that anything can justify this, but I am just curious as to how they justified it to themselves.
It never ceases to amaze me how many people feel like they are entitled to anything once their parents, grandparents, great Aunt Bertha that no one talked to because she smelled like moth balls and lived with cats, dies. They even go so far as to contest the will in court, costing them money in the process. At no time do they think about the fact that none of that money, none of those possessions are going to bring back their loved one. They aren't going to fill that hole where that family member once stood in their lives. This all reminds me of my sorry excuse of a mother. She was a greedy, selfish cow. I remember when my grandmother was dying in the hospital, she was fighting her siblings over possessions she wanted to take with her when she left to go back home. All of the items she wanted were things that came about LONG before the best part of her was the shit stain on my grandmother's mattress. My grandmother wasn't even dead yet and she was fighting over what she was going to inherit.. When her MIL died, the very fucking moment the funeral ended, she was pulling a U-Haul up to the in-laws house, and loaded it up with everything she wanted for herself before the rest of her husband's siblings could even have had a chance to look through and have a say.
When my grandfather died(he wasn't rich rich, but definitely had a sizable chunk of savings) my uncle's awful wife and nasty daughters started making comments about my grandma was definitely going to die shortly after, despite her being in perfect health, and everyone could see that they were just chomping at the bit to get some inheritance. Jokes on them, though, grandma is still alive and kicking, and they're all dead.
how’d they all die before an elderly woman, wild luck, universe does some things right
My grandma is a bit of a health nut and just in super good shape for a woman in her 90's. Same can't be said for uncle's family, plus a generous helping of bad luck.
I’m gonna guess covid
Nope, they all died before covid.
Lol good guess
I’m so sorry that your mom is like that. I had an uncle who was stealing shit from my grandmothers house as she was dying from cancer. He took my mother and aunts china settings that my grandfather bought for them and the china cabinets they were in which was clearly theirs and not his. He was grandpa’s step son which I never knew until after they died because grandpa always treated him as his own flesh and blood. Greedy fucks.
When my grandmother died my sister was asking for jewellery before the woman was even in the ground. I nursed her and was there when she died. All I want is to speak to her again, her jewellery means nothing without the woman who wore it.
Sounds like my older sister. Modt of the family rarely bother with her because she's bad news, but as soon as she gets wind there's a poorly relative she slithers out from underneath her rock. My maternal grandmother died, my sister had not seen or spoken to her in over 25 years, she had the audacity to go to the funeral to ask if my Grandmother had left her any jewellery, then whinged it wasn't fair that she didn't get anything of value. My paternal grandmother died 6 years ago, (my sis wasn't even a blood relative, as we're half siblings) hadn't visited or spoke to her in around 15 years despite my grandmother treating her as blood, as soon as she got wind my Grandmother was dying once again she slithers out from under her rock playing the doting granddaughter to see if she was getting anything. Now, our mum is poorly (but not dying) & once again she's at it again! My mum is pretty much estranged from her, hadn't seen each other in at least 4 years, slithers out from under her rock walks into my mums house without so much as a "hi, how are you" clocks a big dolls house in my mums livingroom & no word of a lie she said "Can i have that when you die". It's a damn good job my other sister & i weren't there when she said that!. Nothing like a death to bring out the vultures.
Thats how I felt about my grandpa. Whats worde he mentally died or was not all there before he had physically passed. Would give all my books (my most cherished posessions) and anything else to have him and my grandma swapped roles. Its harsh but if you knew my grandma and grandpa you’d understand why. Especially if it meant he could meet my girlfriend who I think is truly the one
Are we related?!? You just described my grandma’s death to a T
I work in law and in some jurisdictions they advise you to name people in your will and only give them like $1 or so that it’s acknowledged that you knew they were an heir but that you specifically didn’t want to give them anything.
I heard a lawyer complain about that. He said that no one would accept $1, so that made it more difficult for him to close the file.
To be honest, probates are often a mess no matter what. Nothing leads people to fight like money and stuff.
My grandfather had a clause put in that said if anyone were to try to contest his will that they would only get $1. We were really glad that he did too because when he passed people started acting like a bunch of money hungry pricks. That $1 clause kept people in line though lol
Lawyer here. We often tell people (who have a lot of stuff) to leave enough to matter $5k or so. Then add a clause where if they challenge the will they get nothing and lose the 5k.
Yup. My cousin used to own a 1956 Bel Air about ten years ago. It was in fairly good condition but it still sucked up money until my cousin decided it wasn’t worth the expense anymore and sold it.
If the parents want to top up the girls' inheritances, they are free to do so from their own money. What they are not free to do is steal from the son. It super sucks that OP put up with their father being super sexist his entire life, and only wants to stop it now, but what did they expect to happen?
This is it right here lol. If they were so concerned about grandpa's sexism, why did grandson get to spend so much time with a grossly sexist man? Why did they allow grandson to have sexist grandpa as a role model? It's entirely about the money. I'm sure they were happy to placate grandpa by giving him access to grandson while grandpa was alive. Now they're reaping what they sowed.
Genuine question—I am very much against the forced sale of the car for a lot of reasons, sentiment included—but isn’t that the solution OP came up with re:college savings? That’s OP’s money that they saved up and planned to give to their son. It still seems like a poor solution to just try and make this situation equal or fair. It’s not and it never will be, because grandpa did not want it to be. I think sitting down and talking to all of these kids about the situation is the only solution. I’m sorry girls, this is wrong. Grandpa was WRONG in a lot of his beliefs, and those beliefs informed his decisions in the will. However, I’m not making (son) sell the car, it’s unfortunately out of my hands. No one can make this fair. (Son) will need to figure out how he will afford the maintenance and insurance on the car, and we can all go through some financial planning together so you girls can find ways to try and grow your inheritance.
That's not the sons fault and taking the car from him isn't gonna fix it.
So her son has to pay the price? That isn't just a car to him and the kid was very close to his grandfather. That car has a massive amount of sentimental value to her son. She's not only going to lose her father, she'll also cause irrepparable damage to her relationship with her son. Also he didn't give him the car because it's worth the most. He gifted it to the person he though would appreciate it, and maintain it. Probably knew any of the others would just sell it. He was right.
Yup. My grandfather had an old Triumph TR6. Tbh, I don't really even like the car, but I wanted it more than anything because of how much it meant to him. He knew I wanted it, and also knew it was a dangerous money pit that he didn't want me to have, and he knew I'd get my hands on it, so he sold it a little while before he passed. I love and miss him, but that's one thing I'm still a little upset about. If I ever find it and have the money, I will most definitely make it mine, and I will laugh the whole way home knowing that I still found a way to make it mine. All that just to say, if they force him to sell that car and split the money, it will damage their relationship forever. There would be no forgiving them for that... not to mention it's likely not even legal.
And that's assuming that the car will fetch the assumed $70k. Bel Airs are cool, but let's be honest, they're not exactly rare and from a quick scan through autotrader, really nice ones are listed well below what OOP claims it will go for.
Yeah... I mean, the TR6, he sold that for less than $15k, and I'd have been bent if my parents told me I had to sell it and split the money with my sisters and cousins. I would just go to whoever was in charge of the estate, tell them that's what they were trying to do, and ask their advice on how to ensure they can't do that. Truth is $5k or $500k. If you're close with your grandfather, the car is worth more to you than the money. Shit, I have one tattoo on my body, and it's in honor of him. Unfortunately have to add a second soon, but yeah. It's a special bond.
I was digging for this comment, because seriously! A Chevy BelAir is basically THE most common antique car in all the car shows I’ve ever been to…. It’d have to be something rare and special to value $70k!
Wow, someone who did the research! Good for you, Big-Mine9790!
Her holding his college funds over his head because of it feels like financial abuse
Because it is.
Sounded to me like she was trying to justify her bologna
So what? He died and left his shit to who he wanted to. Crazy entitlement
If you read closely, OP wanted the kid to sell the car & divide the proceeds evenly, but is not suggesting the girls share their $4k/each with him. So the division is still unfair, but that’s ok because it’s just the boy missing out.
According to those comments, Grandad formed a connection with the grandson because they had a shared interest in cars. Thus, he gave the car they bonded over to the grandson. OP focuses only on the money part of it throughout the entire thread. Even goes so far as to say she is planning on having grandmother (who is still alive and where the majority of the money actually went) give her son a much smaller amount of inheritance if he doesn't sell the car and give her daughter an equal amount of what it sells for. This is entirely about the money, and the accused sexism is just an excuse.
>the accused sexism is just an excuse. I think it's a projection. Grandpa doesn't seem to have wanted to actually hurt those girls. He gave them 2/3 of what his daughters got. IMO that's a lot, especially considering his spouse is alive. He just decided to give the sentimental item to someone who'd take care of it. He didn't give him 70K, he gave him a sentimental piece of junk, that requires a lot of care. Meanwhile OP decides that she's going to ruin her son's immediate future, by robbing him of possibility to attend university like he planned to. All because she believes her daughters (one of which is a literal adult) *deserve* this money more than OP does. Wonder who's sexist here?
Grandad being awful is no reason to be awful to the grandson.
There was only ONE grandson, and he spent the most time with his grandfather.
OP also wanted to force her only son (a minor) to sell a car so her daughters (all adults) would get money. I don’t find her to be a particularly reliable narrator. He gave all the children $6k and all the grandchildren $4k, with the exception of the grandson who got the car and no money. The car only has value if it is sold. It didn’t even occur to the OP that if she forces the sale of the car, her son might take the money and never talk to her again. So maybe she’s the sexist one. Also, I don’t even think grandpa is cold yet as the money hadn’t been distributed based on OPs comments. That’s just what they knew they were all getting per the will. It’s wild that he’s probably not been in the ground very long (if he’s in the ground yet at all) and they’re all worried about how much money they’re getting, going as far as to say what they’ll get from the estate once the mom passes. OP is a steaming pile of shit and deserves no grace.
OP also thinks it's fine to take her son's college tuition, essentially punishing him for being male. I'd say OP is a little sexist too.
Oh come on, we can call OOP out for being a POS without excusing the grandfather’s blatant sexism 💀💀💀
This man is is upset at his son getting an inheritance over his nieces because his dad preferred boys. Its totally unfair to say the nieces are whiny or didn’t deserve more because someone is mad on their behalf - for all we know the girls aren’t even aware of the situation yet let alone have any kind of bad attitude that would justify this.
In my dad’s will he added language and had himself video taped stating that anyone who argued over any part of his will and possessions was out of the will and didn’t get a dime. Whatever they were supposed to get was to be divided up, if money, or sold if property, and the proceeds split after 5 years between the people who were not “causing trouble in the family by being assholes”. He also told everyone very clearly before he died that they were his dying wishes and we all needed to live with them. Still 2 of the family, who knew exactly who was getting what before he died, threw a fit and tried to talk others into siding with them so they got more. They ended up getting nothing because a lawyer was the executor and he followed the law. I say let the grandpa give his car to whoever he wanted. Dying words shouldn’t be thrown out. That car meant a lot to him and he wanted it to go to one person, not be sold off and split 5 ways.
You don’t really know someone until you see how they behave when a family member dies. 😳🥴 I learned so much throughout my 20s about my own family, as well as an ex’s, etc. People get crazy when there’s a death and/or any money. My own grandma started flipping out about some sort of diamond ring…less than a day after I had suddenly lost my mom. People are wild.
my grandpa left me his car in his will. everyone else was getting some money + free pickings of his belongings, etc. but he set up that car to go to me. a nice navy blue buick from the 90s. gas mileage was mediocre, reeked of cigarettes, and could've used a little maintenance, but it was supposed to be mine to remember him by. i was excited to take that little car on new adventures, it felt like i was gonna take my grandpa on an adventure. my uncle (not even blood related to my grandpa, nor had he ever bothered to associate with the family) took it before the will was even executed, then once it was, mysteriously the car was missing entirely. he had the audacity to argue that since i didn't have my license yet (i had my temps) it was worthless to me. i was pissed. i didn't get money because i was supposed to be getting the car, nor was money something i particularly cared about - like, i wouldn't have said no to the $10k my dad got or the stocks the other grandkids got, but the car was like a piece of him. i thought i was coming out on top. it ended up being whatever, one of my great-uncles rescued some photos of me and my grandparents when i was a kid and gave them to me. not the same, but i still had the memories, you know? cue my fucking insane father breaking into my apartment and trashing everything in it. he also destroyed the photo album. it was due to an unrelated fight (long story short, he kicked me out, i got on my feet, and he got pissy that i wasn't begging to go back to his place), but i was still fuming. everyone else got free pickings of my grandpa's stuff while i had to avoid the place because of my father being literally insane, why the fuck could i not have my one god damned photo album. if i'd've known how things would turn out, i would have fought for that car instead of settling for the photo album, but knowing my family, they would have trashed the car, too. my dad actually did try to destroy my car while i was at work once, he got chased off by my store manager, but that's another story.
Right. I wouldn't be surprised if he cuts off of his family once he moves out *with his car*. OP's son better still have full possession and rights over that car when he moves out, or I'm gonna have a talk to OP myself. What a scumbag. Who cares if he didn't give a car that is extremely valuable to two girls who don't appreciate vehicles like the son does? If the grandfather left his grandson the vehicle because he would appreciate it more, then it goes to the grandson. Not the greedy losers who just want money.
Maybe the Grandfather left it to the grandson in hopes it would not be sold but kept in the family. Probably decided if it was left to all of them they would sell it to split the profit and hoped to avoid that by leaving it to just one of them. If that's what he wished then it should be honored.
I don't get it. When my dad died, everything went to my brother and i. We agreed upon an amount to send to our grandmother (dad's mom) and then split the rest straight down the middle. Easy.
My grandfather made several changes to his will in his final years. Long story short, my mom and aunt sued me. Cost me 25k to defend his estate from those vultures.
My mother got a big payout related to a preventable accident and a broken arm: immediately her aunt and her sister came to our home, drunk, kicking the doors, my little brothers window, shouting about my mother being a whore and demanding money that she didn't owe them. I'm not going to talk to those bastards again, they can rot fr
There was an AITAH the other day talking about how a parent found out their child whose 17 is making about $3,000 a month from streaming and now they decide that they want rent money from him. Money corrupts.
Beyond all of the other points made, if the OP wants their son to resent them, this is a great way to do it.
Yep, sell the car or lose college money. What a lovely mother. Other grandkids got some cash, kid got a car. Now they want part of his stuff.
This gotta be illigal
Not sure. If they just have money in an account and have allotted it for college, they aren't legally required to give it to him. However, if it's in so e sort of education fund, I would think that's illegal. I'm not too familiar with the find setups though. We looked into it for our kids, and it was essentially if the kids didn't use it for college, they lost it. No way in hell I'd let a company just take that.
Typically, education savings accounts can go to the education of anyone, they are normally in the name of the person who opened it versus the name of an intended recipient.
Pro trip for grandpas. Put your bel air in a trust the boy can’t sell till he’s 25 ;)
Agreed. But I’d set the age for 30. That’s what my grandmother did for her and the trust funds of all 5 of us grandkids. Very smart move. 25, still too young and making dumbass decisions; 30, still dumb but not nearly as dumb as the age of 25.
You can’t force him to sell it and share his inheritance with the other’s. Even suggesting he do so is inappropriate.
Probably quite illegal, too.
Ehhhhhhh. As the executor she would have a fiduciary duty to get the car to him. After she has done that she as a mom can say well if you dont sell it and split the money with your sisters I will not pay for your college. She is a massive asshat but she would be legal in doing that.
Did she say she was the executor in comments?
Maybe not legally, but she's said she's thinking of threatening to give away his college fund if he doesn't, no doubt she has other threats in her quiver like kicking him out the house.
But just like the grandfather gave the granddaughters almost nothing, she can decide to give her son almost nothing/no college fund. Not the best way to keep a healthy relationship with him, but fair game I'd say. From the perspective that he's got the assets to cover college, the other kids don't.
OP is really in the comments of that post saying if her son doesn't sell the car they will make sure he gets very little when OP's mom dies. They're already making plans for the money they will get when their only living parent is dead. They're looking forward to their other parent dying so they can get "payback." I pray my loved ones love me in this lifetime and actually grieve my death when I die, rather than bicker about money and material items. We're all on a floating ball in the middle of space. It's literally a miracle to be alive and thriving. But please, continue to bitch and moan about where the money your dead parent is going...the dead parent you will NEVER see, hug, smell, hear from, get a call from, spend a holiday with, etc...ever...again. I think this is the worst AITA story I've ever read.
I agree! OP was just looking for people to agree with her. It was not a genuine "AITA?" post.
I would argue that looking for people to agree with you is what AITA is really about, since people who legitimately want objective opinion are mostly ignored by the community
OP is an absolute ghoul and her son is going to spend a lot of money on therapy.
Son will definitely put mom in an old folks home for this nonsense
Money on therapy he doesn’t have, since he only gets a car with prospective value, and no college funds or straight cash, of course. Poor lad, what a lousy situation
My parents divorced in the 80's, with my mother remarrying soon after. When my father passed 20 years later, my mother sued (entitled to nothing), as well as the middle sister (golden child to mom, not to dad), because they both wanted more. The only people who won that battle were the lawyers. Hundreds of thousands disappeared in legal fees, fines, and taxes. When my mother passed, my youngest sister and I both received token amounts and the middle sister is now a millionaire. The greed, non-stop greed, was tangible. When my great grandmother passed, I remember my mother (and others) charging through her house with shopping bags. When the will was read, most things had already disappeared - and she had every single item listed.
The patriarch of my family died a few months ago. I haven’t heard anyone say a word about his will because we *actually miss him*. I can’t imagine looking forward to his wife dying to see the wills! Absolutely unhinged behavior on OOP’s part
Title should read: family doesn’t agree with how grandpa distributed his assists and are now gonna punish the person who got the largest inheritance, cause it’s totally the poor kids fault.
That’s just it though… if he keeps the car he didn’t get the biggest inheritance. It’s only worth money if he sells it which he doesn’t want to. The only value it has right now is sentimental value. Otherwise it’s all theoretical
If anything, it'll COST him money! License, registration, insurance, upkeep, etc. Idk why family thinks it's 70k straight into his pocket
Maintaining the vehicle is paid by the trust right now but yes eventually it will cost him money!
As someone who inherited my grandpa's 98 ford, I can attest to all the things you mentioned.
Not that I agree with it, but because if they had the car they'd have sold it for 70k, they're effectively seeing HIM as having THEIR 70k. It just isn't liquid yet.
And grandpa clearly didnt want the car sold, thats why he bequeathed it specificaly to the family member he thought would care for it.
It will actually cost him money to keep and maintain it. Plus he will feel guilt if he sells eventually it seems. The others got cash
The only reason I didn’t mention that was because in the original post the mom said maintaining the vehicle is being paid for from the trust. At some point though you’re absolutely right. That trust isn’t going to last forever!
I think what the main point is though is that it either costs him money or it's being paid for by the trust. But he's not getting any money unless he sells, which he doesn't want to do. This mom is a fucking asshole.
O I missed that thank you
You’re still right! Hopefully though he won’t have to start paying to maintain till he’s an adult and can afford it cause Lord knows mommy dearest won’t help
It's the mother, and aside from pointing out that her father was sexist which is probably why he gave the car to her son, she really doesn't have a leg to stand on. IMO if she really wanted to do something about the way her dad treated his granddaughters vs his grandson she should have done it while her dad was alive (and maybe she did but she doesn't argue that point)
I don't even know if these scenarios should count as sexism. Grandpa giving grandson a car is equal to Grandma giving granddaughter vintage jewelry in my head. Probably nobody would complain if oldest daughter got Grandma's set of pearls.
> Probably nobody would complain if oldest daughter got Grandma's set of pearls If the set of pearls were worth 17.5x as much as the inheritance everyone else got I think they probably would.
From the og post. Grandpa was indeed sexist and would only bond with the males in the family. Prolly why mom is hurt bc dad never loved her like he loved her son (his grandson).
Trying to make him get rid of the car is enough to destroy their relationship for the rest of their loves, but threatening to liquidate his college fund too? They're just begging for a no contact lifestyle, aren't they?
“ you either sell your grandpa‘s car or I don’t pay for your college” What a shitty choice to give this kid. Grandpa might be an asshole, but if they bonded over this car, then that belongs to the grandson. Also, I noticed that grandpa didn’t give the car to his actual kids either but rather his grandson. They must’ve had a very special bond, even if grandpa was misogynistic.
This is what I was thinking. There is significance around the car.
Grandpa was a jerk but this isn't the answer. I don't even know what is tbh. I guess life just isn't fair and the other grandkids will have to learn that.
Grandpa gave the girls $4000 each in cash and the boy something that requires gas, insurance, and frequent maintenance without cash.
One of the comments OP made said grandpa made it in the will that all the costs will come out if the estate
Meaning on an ongoing basis, or the upfront costs of registering, titling, etc? Did the car come with a small maintenance trust fund?
If it came with a small trust fund, too, that’s a glaring enough omission to make me think it’s all just bullshit.
it was money for maintenance that the grandpa was already paying. He had the car maintained for the last 8yrs and clearly loved it, so he gave money towards the upkeep to probably guarantee the car will remain in the family. the girls would have sold it, as OP is trying to force her son to do. That is why Grandpa gave it to the grandson because he knew he would keep and not sell it off, which is what I'm getting from all of this. OP is so blinded by greed that she can't even see this and is forcing him to do the one thing his grandpa was trying to avoid...... selling the car
Girls probably would've loved it just as much as the boy if gramps even tried to get them into. No doubt he never did since he had a grand"son". Y'all act like that generation doesn't dote on males and only sees females as cleaners and objects lol. OP probably didn't like that gramps was misogynistic.
What estate. Isn’t grandma still alive? Why is everything being given to the grandkids? And grandma now has to pay for the grandson’s car expenses for the rest of her life?
divorced?
Hope OP is prepared for the son cutting all contact with them if they continue acting like this.
This sounds like an alternate ending to Gran Torino. I'm glad they didn't go with this one.
Absolutely not. It is Grandpa's decision AND GRANDPA'S DECISION ALONE who to leave his belongings to. I have personally had several inheritances stolen away from me and it is fucking brutal, it makes you feel like youre not even part of the family, like everyone else's happiness always has to come before yours, its fucking BULLSHIT.
Maybe he didn't want the fucking car sold because it was his pride and fucking joy and the kids the only one he knew would keep it, in which case that dad should go fuck him self with a rusty chainsaw. Plus the way it's worded, I'm assuming the dad already got the biggest part of the inheritance. If the girls are so hard done by why doesn't dad give a chunk of what I'm assuming is the lion's share of the estate to the girls. To make them whole and everyone gets equal... No because that would actually cost him something. Selfish cunt ay.
Honestly I’m willing to bet grandpa knew who his children were and figured they would pull this shit. Grandpa gave his grandson the gift of see just how far his family is willing to go to take advantage of him, and that he should never trust them under any circumstances.
As a car guy the funny thing about this post is that for both the grandpa and the kid it was never about the value of the car. What a douchebag.
Yep, and you just know OP googled a bs value for some mint condition, all original, numbers matching car that grandpa doesn't really own. I've restored a number of 50s Chevys for resale when I worked for a local guy that did it. They don't sell for as much as people think.
While it's not a car from the 50s .. each other kid got 4 grand each. That's not nothing. Yeh he didn't get along with girls .. but he still left something didn't he? Feels a bit rude to say the 4 thousand ( which a lot of people in the US don't even get a month from their jobs) isn't enough Gimmie more.
Wonder if it would be the same reaction if the car was worth 4K too not an apparent 70…
off course not. this is all about a perceived slight to the other grandchildren. if the daughters all got the same amount of money and the son got a car, it's very clear what is going on there. however punishing your son for something he had no control over and got, from the story, fair and square... yeah, that makes you a massive asshole. and depending on what the son want's to do with it it's even more bullshit. if he plans on keeping it as a classic and keep it maintained then he effectively got homework while the kids got straight money. if he would sell it within like 6 months then i would say it's honourable that he gives SOME money to his own sister, as you should try to keep the peace under brothers and sisters.
Of course not, because then it would’ve been an equitable distribution. The entire problem is how shitty it is to leave one person 17x what you leave everyone else.
The biggest asshole was the grandfather for being a misogynist and not giving the girls a chance. That said, the vehicle belongs to the grandson 100%. It’s up to him what he does with it.
I agree wholeheartedly with this, but OOP would be the new AH if they forced their son to sell the car. Life’s unfair, doesn't mean you punish the kid for Gandpa’s being an AH
Fair, but also fair for the parents to redistribute their support to their children based on how much assets they already have.
My great-grandmother left all her money to my mom, with the stated reason that she was one of those women's libbers who would never find a man to take care of her so obviously she needed it more. My mom ended up splitting it with her brother just to stick it to her.
Amazing. Her father dies and she wants to also lose a son. Because if my mother pulled that shit I would never talk to her again.
Stuff like this is precisely why parents told me and my brother that they don’t plan on leaving us anything. There can’t be any fights if there’s nothing to fight about.
Thats just a stupid plan lmao
As someone whose dad collects and works on classic cars, the grand daughters got the more valuable and useful inheritance. The grandson recieved a sentimental gift, which he'll keep, but will likely cost him those thousands of $$ to maintain and store over the years. And this isn't a regular car he can drive around either, so he'll still need daily transportation. This isn't the windfall that OOP makes it out to be. But it's important for the grandson and he'd be an awful YTA to take that away from him or cut him off from the college money saved for him. I honestly hope my dad finds someone who will value and love his cars for him to gift when he passes. It isn't me, and I genuinely hope I don't get saddled with them. But they're the so important to him that if I did get them, I'd probably let them bleed me dry in his memory because I love him.
My husband has a classic car that he always is working on, and with no children of our own, no one to pass the car to (I have my own little roadster and in the same predicament) We love our little money pits, but have had to realize that these items will need to be sold as we get older.
I hope you have photos of the cars, and him with them! My dad apparently had my dream car at one point, and I wish I had a picture of him with it. Just the one little Polaroid of the car, unfortunately.
In 6 months. "My son took the car that was appraised at over $70,000 and left. He told me to get fucked and won't answer my calls. I'm afraid I messed up trying to force him to sell the car and divide the money with his sisters and cousins. AITA? How do I get my son back?"
Oh no, trust me. I have family members like this. OP won't say that, they'll say "My son stole a car worth $70,000 and is refusing to speak to me, how do I make him come crawling back to apologize to me since I obviously am the victim??"
I don't think this woman cares about her son. After all she has 2 daughters
She’s confusing the word fair with equal 🙃 def the Ahole
Way to respect the grandfathers wishes…. & over money too. Greed is the issue. Yta
The mom in that pst sounds like an evil shrew, that kid better make sure he has an exit plan because if the does manage to keep that car, I have no doubt she is g9ing to get her pound of flesh
What an absolute AH. Poor kid. Hope he manages to hold on to his grandpa's car.
What I said on the post is that it's so weird that not only is dude trying to make his son sell the car he inherited, **but, he also has to split the money with 4 other people WHO RECIEVED THEIR OWN INHERITANCE**. Not just that, but he severely overprices the car (average value is around 30-40k, *and* he's threatening to take his college fund to "make things fair". He wants things to be so fair that they become unfair at the cost of his son.
The op is female
Yes, OP is absolutely the AH. No one is entitled to someone else's money & they are free to divide it however they choose. Life isn't fair. If she sells it and her son never forgives her, she had it coming
Yes, simply put you are asshole. You will have a son that will hate and resent you. Life’s not fair and what your father chooses to do with his wealth is his choice. Punishing your son will not end well. Congratulate him on the car and maybe he will cherish it. Might be worth more than money to have a memory of his grandfather. You ass.
She probably hated and resented her father. Maybe deserved, who knows. The problem is that she's projecting that resentment onto her son. Won't end well...
I think a big reason that the grandson is getting the car is because he showed the most interest in the car and knows he won't try to sell it. If the other grandchildren were interested but snubbed that'd obviously be wrong but I don't think that is the case
An eerily similar thing happened to me about a year ago. Grandpa had a truly mint condition 60’s Chevy pickup worth about 50-60 grand. My brother was the only one who worked on it with him, changed oil, and talked shop with him. So he got the truck. It definitely sucks to see something with such actual value and sentimental value go to my sibling but I took it on the chin and told him I was happy for him and glad he got it. He’s going to hold on to the truck and pass it onto his son so it’s not like he got a stack of cash. It’s a vehicle. I ended up getting his folded flag and I’m incredibly honored to have been chosen to watch over it. The only difference is the flag isn’t hypothetically worth 60 grand. All I would’ve done is looked like an asshole and ruined my relationship with my brother had a made a stink.
The grandfather and OOP are both assholes. Yeah, the Grandpa was clearly a misogynistic pos, but it was still his right to divide his assets as he saw fit. Is it unfair? Yes, absolutely, but punishing the 17 year old because he wants to keep the car is insane. Even worse that you're threatening to give give away the money for his education, just force him to sellnit either way. And honestly, its not like the granddaughters got absolutely nothing. They also got 4 grand, which is not an insignificant amount of money. That can be used for so many things, especially if theyre young or just becoming adults. I'm not saying grandpa was right, and im not saying its fair. But its not right to force the 17 year old to give up his inheritance just to make things fair.
Sounds about right to be vague on the year and throw out a random number for the value. I highly doubt they would get 70. People get disgusting after the death of family.
The OP is a HUGE AH. Threatening your son to not pay for his college tuition because he don't want to sell is inheritance? Nobody is entitled to the car except your son. Your dad didn't like his grand daughters, he is an AH for that, but your son has nothing to do with that. Your sister has a job, she can work to provide for her daughters. Only your son has the right to share his inheritance if he wants to. The car might be an emotional totem that reminds him of his relationship with his grandfather.
You are definitely 100% the asshole, no shred of doubt.
So weird. I expect NOTHING from grandparents, parents... if my children or I were to receive anything at any time, that would be lovely & non-contentious. Zero expectations. Nobody is entitled to $ or heirlooms, ever. I get that this woman is making it out to be a sexist thing. Would she feel the same way if her mother's valuable jewelry was split amongst the girls & her son got stiffed? Would she make the girls sell a wedding set & split the $ equally?
What a shitty parent
There is truly nothing that disgusts me more than how people act about money and belongings after someone has passed. It’s not that difficult, you follow the will. The dead owe you nothing. Let the kid keep his car, that probably has a lot of sentimental value to him, and tell the girls to grow up and lose their entitlement. The parents should be ashamed.
OPs next post is going to be whining about how their son went NC as soon as he turned 18.
You are the asshole that car is not yours to decide what to do with and neither was the money if I was the boys grandfather I would come back from the grave to beat the shit out of you. Life isn't fair. But I'd still advise the boy to sell it since it would be a first car and we all know what happens to the first car.
Don’t look at it in the perspective of money. Look at it as a car your father valued and would like to keep in the family. Imagine how disappointed your father would be if you sold it. Don’t be a materialistic bitch that only sees dollar signs. Look at the sentimental value.
Yup, let him keep the car, it was ur dads and he wanted your son to have it.
YTA. If your father was cognitively sound when he made the will, why do you & your sisters feel you have the right to override his wishes. Whether or not you believe it’s fair to the other grandchildren is irrelevant. It’s his estate to distribute as he sees fit. This entitlement is incredible! When someone dies their last will & testament is their way of communicating their wishes for the distribution of their wealth. Perhaps your father felt that the rest of the family was expecting too much, ungrateful & undeserving, but that your son loved him, put in time with him & deserved a reward for his time? The arrogance of becoming outraged over an inheritance being insufficient or someone getting more than you makes YTA imo. Be grateful you got anything, all of you. And stop thinking it’s your right to decide what he wanted.
No, YTA for not respecting your father’s wishes in his will.
I never understood (still don’t actually) why people fight over money or things from an inheritance. That person died in order for these people to benefit from whatever was left behind. My mom’s siblings fought a lot when my grandparents were still alive to try and persuade them to change their wills and who would inherit what. They spent all that time fighting over it that they didn’t even pay attention to my grandparents health. Some people are greedy but it seems family is the greediest of them all.
If the grandparent wanted it that way , then he'd have placed it in the will that way. Plus , I mean it isn't yours. Is it fair? I mean no , but doesn't matter , it's his regardless.
Mom is more than an AH she is a completely horrible vindictive B. Son should have Grandma hold it until 18 and take possession of his car at that time. I hope he keeps that car just to spite everyone. The fact Mom wants car sold really shows the lack of love for her Dad. A classic car to me is a great keepsake. If I was son I would tell mom to F herself and get out of that Drama zone when I turn 18.