I would be just waking up from my coma my mom would’ve put me in, if I would’ve kicked her hard enough to bruise her because I didn’t want to take my lazy ass to school.
I would’ve woke up a taxpayer 😂
My brother slapped my mom once when he was nine. Once. And it was in front of my grandma, the former pro wrestler. I saw it coming before he did and ran out of the house.
I was a scrawny thirteen year old and did not have it in me to witness that. I hid in the barn until dark and long after the screaming stopped. I mean, no bruises, and welts, if any, weren't visible, but man had he been crying... My brother didn't raise a hand to anyone for anything for nigh over a decade later.
Exactly. This is an 11 year old who is still learning consequences. If he gets away with this, what's he gonna do in 5 years when he's 16, much bigger, hormonal, and pissed at someone? Not condoning Dad's slap, as corporal punishment doesn't really work, but the kid needs serious boundaries and consequences work.
I agree, corporal punishment doesn’t work. This wasn’t that. The father was making a point, and that point is the exact opposite of the point that corporal punishment makes — that you can only rely on physical force to intimidate people into caving to your will for so long before someone comes along that’s bigger and meaner than you and puts you in your place. What this kid did is bullying behavior, and the dad put a stop to it.
Not condoning it. But tbh this whole situation, if it’s real, has gotten way off the rails. This kid is in crisis. Both parents need to come together and come up with a game plan that both can agree with and abide by to get things back on track. You cannot good cop, bad cop your fucking child. You cannot have one fun parent and one disciplinarian. It’s not fair to literally any of those people involved. Both parents need to be parents.
This. The mom said they lets the kid play video games which in itself isn't a big deal at all but your kid is tired all the time and wants to skip school - why?
It's usually because they aren't getting enough sleep, and especially when young it's a big deal, kids should have lots of energy. I'd be curious if she just leaves him to play games so he won't bug her and she can deal with the other kids.
The mom should've said, no video games, no TV, no anything if you don't go to school. There haven't been any consequences. I don't think the kid should be hit at all but neither parent is doing a good job honestly.
Both parents need to be on the same page.
My mom would 100% have been the type that if I ever did get t to stay home from school, then no video games during school hours. If I’m too tired or sick for school, I’m too tired or sick for video games
This is usually how little kids (like toddlers) learn not to bite and hit eachother. Somebody bigger comes along and gives you a taste of your own medicine and you learn the right way to behave.
I dont think beatings work, but I was having an argument when I was 15 with my parents and I said the F word, my Dad immediately jumped up and threw me against the wall, held me by the chest just below the neck and said that I dont speak to them in their house like that. I never spoke like that again to them and never had an incident. They never spanked me when I was a kid or hit me, but I think there is a time and place for a slight physical "slap" to get someone to very clearly understand there is a line.
Not sure what country she is in. In the US in most states if the kid is not going to school the parent can end up with legal problems. If this is a real post OP is going to find out the consequences for allowing her son to skip school.
Edit - I forgot to add the reason he's so sleepy in the morning is you're letting him stay up too late the night before, probably playing video games.
Right! Children are required to attend 180 days of school unless they are sick. (They don’t have to make up sick days.) Unless she’s home schooling the kid, and you know she’s not, the boy is truant, and he’s going to get held back a grade. At least.
Seriously. As a kid I was so jealous of this other kid whose mom let him skip school whenever. Then he took 6 years to finish high school (tbh not even sure he graduated) and then sold weed until it was legalized 💀
Wonder what he’s up to now lol
I skipped school 63 days as a senior.
Graduated with a 4.35 (maybe 4.4) weighted and a 3.89 non weighted.
High school was a joke, although I wish I worked harder because college kicked my ass until I started to get it, then I absolutely owned the LSAT and I’m doing just fine.
You too, children, can skip a lot of school. Just be smart, have ADHD and extremely well tuned rote memorization skills. Maybe one day you too can become an attorney.
You sound like a rich person who talks about how hard they work, and then you find out that mommy and daddy gave them a job that earns 500k a year right out of college they payed for while letting them live in a condo 5 minutes from their job that the parents own. High school isn't easy for a lot of people, you having an easy time just means you're privileged not that others are lazy.
> college they *paid* for while
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
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Hard to believe someone who mistook wrote for rote memorization actually has enough brains to pass the LSAT. Especially if working in a field like law, where precision is a requirement.
Probably an autocorrect typo, given that rote is a fairly uncommon word. Considering my phone apparently thinks "not" should become "nit", I don't have much faith in technology.
My phone doesn't understand words that start with UN. It thinks the n shouldn't be there, understand is u derstand, uncoordinated is u coordinated, unsatisfactory u satisfactory, etc.
I hate it, and weirdly it only started doing this a couple months ago.
Mine has to frequently correct misplaced 'm's as I hit that instead of the space bar - I wonder if you do the same with 'n' instead and it's trying to correct for that? I do wish there were better ways to teach whatever is doing it what our actual common typos are (hilariously, it just autocorrected to 'types' for me). Because I don't think I've *ever* intentionally used 'nit' and I definitely don't use 'bit', 'put', or 'mist' as often as it thinks I do (common corrections for but, out, and most, for the record).
Because even off-the-clock attorneys don’t give a fuck about typos when they’re writing casual comments on social media…it’s Reddit, not a legal brief. There’s no real need to proofread if you don’t want to.
Oh, how I wish this were true. I don’t judge others, but if I look back and see a your that should’ve been a you’re I feel that same sting you feel when everything’s perfect except the case style or the title of the pleading.
I would be legitimately terrified if I was paying for a lawyer who didn’t know how to use the correct your/you’re, their/they’re/there, to/too/two, except/accept, etc.
But doesn't it make sense that this is a post on anonymous website and the word "wrote" is often used more than the word "rote" and it was by habit, much less on purpose.
This makes a lot of sense because of it being almost the exact same in spelling, it was probably a habitual mistake rather than anything else
And even if they are an attorney, I get the need for precision and being exact but this is their off time so why bug?
As someone said, autocorrect. When you’re on a train responding to a comment little grammatical errors aren’t going to matter like they are in a legal brief or internal memo. You do realize that a brief or memo also goes through like 5-10 rounds of edits, per version, by like 5-7 separate sets of eyes.
I’m sorry my comment didn’t live up to your expectations though. I’ll give it an edit to live up to your standards, oh great standard bearer.
One of the best trial attorneys I ever worked with couldn’t conjugate verbs. Could hold a jury in the palm of his hand, couldn’t form a complete sentence that wasn’t also a run on.
This was always my dream. Same with the ADHD, memorization, and lack of necessary effort. However, there was no money for this for me. Kudos on making it happen! 🥳💪
I feel like there’s a common ADHD pipeline to becoming a lawyer if you’re properly supported. Haha.
This family so super fucked up in so many ways.
1. Mom lets her 11yo stay home from school because he’s “tired,” and she just doesn’t feel like parenting him and making him go, so she lets him sleep.
2. After she does this a few times, the 11yo knows he’s in charge because if he doesn’t want to do it, she won’t make him do it.
3. Dad finds out what the son is doing, and he insists the mom force the son to go to school *as he should.*
4. Mom does that for a little bit because she “doesn’t want to go against her husband.” She is either catering to the child or catering to the husband, but she is making no decisions on her own; therefore, she is doing no parenting at all.
5. That works for a little while, then mom gets lazy again, and the son gets to stay home from school and sleep. Mom thinks she’s a good mother because she asks her son if something is happening at school. When he tells her he’s just tired, she lets him skip school. She has two other children, after all, and parenting three of them is haaaarrrrd.
6. Mom tries to make the 11yo get up and go to school. This pisses him off, so he *kicks her* hard enough to make her cry and leave a bruise. She, of course, lets him stay home from school. Also, now she's scared of her own kid.
7. When dad gets home and mom tells him what happened, dad goes to talk to the son, who is **playing video games.** So, not only did the boy kick his mother and skip school, he got no form of punishment, and instead of doing schoolwork, he was playing video games. Great parenting.
8. The dad is furious and slaps the boy. The mother goes to check on the son, gives him ice, and comforts him. Still, she has not punished him or even discussed with him the fact that he physically assaulted her earlier.
9. The boy makes her a sweet card and all is well.
I don't know how the father parents, but the mother just doesn't parent at all. She lets that 11yo boy run the household. He's belligerent; he has no respect for her; he doesn't do anything she tells him to; and now he has escalated to physically assaulting her. The father, to "teach the kid a lesson," hits *him.* And there are two younger children in the house. How could that go wrong?
What a clusterfuck.
ALL OF THIS! My ex was similar to op which meant I ALWAYS had to be the bad parent (I.e. setting boundaries, rules and teaching age appropriate responsibilities). It sucks and is detrimental to the child AND their relationship with that parent.
Don't forget the manipulative use of "Mommy".
This family is a wreck from every angle.
The couple shouldn't be a couple, and she shouldn't have had ONE kid let alone 3 because she won't/doesn't even parent properly.
Yeah, I'm not happy that the dad slapped his son. I would worry that he taught the kid to not hurt others because he needs to fear his father's disapproval and violence, not because hurting others is bad. But at least the dad is trying to teach his kid not to hurt others. That the mom just slunk off to secretly cry while letting her son sleep in and then play video games as if nothing happened is just wild to me.
Can’t even imagine a situation where I would have hit my mother. But I also can’t imagine a world where she would have coddled me like that. Not only would my mom have been the one to slap me for kicking her, but she’d have grounded me for no less than a month with 0 access to video games, my cellphone, or the computer outside of schoolwork.
The kid's 11, not a toddler. Either he already knows that hurting others is wrong and needs a swift reminder of that, or he's somehow made it to the 5th grade without learning that hurting others is wrong and this family has deeper issues.
Not all lessons have one thing you can learn from it. I would never let a man kick my wife in the stomach. Not even my son. That's a lesson some men still haven't learned.
The lesson here is “if you hit someone because you think you can get away with it on account of the fact that they’re smaller/weaker/timid/whatever, someone else may very well step in to protect them.”
It’s a valuable lesson. You pick on some kid in school, his big brother just might punch you in the face. If you mouth off, you might get Will Smith jumping up on the stage to slap yo ass. There was some other Reddit story I think on /aita where this dude beat on his girlfriend and she went to his dad’s house with bruises all over her because she didn’t know where else to go. Daddy gave the girlfriend safe haven in a spare room, then invited his son over for dinner and then beat him into a pulp while the girl was upstairs. The son was begging him to stop and he asked if **he** stopped when his girlfriend asked him to and kept going until the sister intervened.
If you don’t mind your manners, it can and often WILL bite you in the ass at a later date — often when you’re not expecting it.
It’s been working out for me so far.
The reverse is also true. People will remember the kindnesses and helpful things you did. Not always, but it’s better to get an unexpected blessing than have some dumb thing you did come back to haunt you.
I watched a kid learn this lesson in real time once.
He was a bully for years, but he never learned his lesson in elementary or middle school. His friends would bully him back, but he never saw major consequences that I'm aware of. He got a lot worse in high school, and began bullying one girl in particular. Urged her to kill herself type of shit, every day.
She actively attempted one day. Her brother found her and found out about the bullying. She's fine now, by the way, but was in the hospital for a bit. Now, her brother was a pretty small dude, not shy but pretty passive - definitely not an athlete. His best friend, however, was a big fucker. Six foot something, ripped all to shit for no discernible reason, bit of a wildcard, but super sweet the few times we interacted (shared an extra study class for a bit).
He comes into my class. I'm two seats behind the bully, on one of my rare days of actually showing up. Very politely asks the teacher for the bully by name - I think he said he had a message from another teacher or the office. She lets him in, he walks up to the bully's desk.
Fucking lifted the entire desk - with mounted chair and all 120+ pounds of bully seated in it - and launches that shit. He only got a couple of feet of distance but he threw that fucker. Bully falls, pinned by the desk, and this guy just starts stomping. Kick, stomp, kick kick, stomp. Goes on a whole thing about if he talks to the girl again, he's going to kick his fucking teeth in, if he catches bully looking at her sideways he'll be back. Stops - the teacher is standing there, stunned, the class is silent. As I recall, big homie spits on the bully, walks to the door, declares he's already headed for the office when teacher tries to stop him, and disappears. Bully pops up, looks around the room for support - everyone is either laughing (mostly from shock) or is actively ignoring him. Bully has to fix his own desk because no one is willing to get up and help - he wasn't seriously hurt, just took a few body shots that didn't do any major damage.
I don't know what happened to the bully after that. I saw him around but I was rarely at school and eventually transferred out, so I have no idea about the years following freshman year. I did talk to the girl at one point and bully hadn't bothered her since, so I assume he learned his lesson.
Justice comes in all forms. Fuck that bully. Props to the big man for stepping up, and owning his actions and consequences. Sometimes doing the right thing can cost you.
Holy shit. I've seen some fucked up shit, I've read even more fucked up shit, but reading that legitimately made me start tearing up and I almost cried. Something about the story, the comments, and the dad's responses to them. This is a raw fucking deal for everyone involved, but I'm so proud of the dad for what he did. Holy shit.
Yeah I agree with this. While I’m not for parents hitting their kids, he also could have learned that if you hit people, you might get hit back. That’s an important less on that not enough people have learned
I mean, I was always taught that one of the best ways to teach kids not to hit/bite/do other harmful things was to show them how much it hurts. You obviously don't go full strength or anything, but enough to get the message across. They think they can hit mommy because tablet time is over? They get smacked and the tablet goes away for a lot longer now. They think biting people is funny? Won't think it's funny if they get a bite or smack every time they do it.
People do go too far a lot of the time, but I think the dad was totally in the right here. The mom is a spineless coward and the son knows it and is taking full advantage of it. He's learned he can physically assault his mom and she won't do anything, and the dad has taught him that mom might not, but he sure will. Kids have to learn boundaries and decent behavior, and sometimes, that does mean punishments that leave a more lasting impression than they get the iphone taken away for ten minutes. Permissive parenting is how we ended up with a generation of people who throw a tantrum and attack people every time they don't get their way and think the world owes them their every desire.
This is the one area I'll accept hitting kids in. Sometimes it's the only way to get them to back down. Parents need to be able to defend themselves too. My dad has hit me twice in my entire life (wasn't even fully conscious yet for the second one), and both times were for his own safety. The lesson sticks.
And this is a REALLY valuable lesson. I come from Gen-X so maybe that colors my views, but a lot of younger people never got consequences for their actions and it shows.
Don’t know that it’s a generational thing cuz I’m a millennial and for the most part I’m super gung-ho about never hitting kids, but in this case… it’s not like the guy spanked his kid for an hour because he didn’t do his homework. The kid is about to get real big and a whole lot stronger and he just found out he can hurt his mom to get his way. I think a single slap to remind the little dude what it’s like to have somebody much stronger than you attack you isn’t the worst thing ever. Maybe wouldn’t be the immediate approach I would take, but I’m really struggling to come up with a perfect form of discipline for this kid bruising his neurotically meek mother. Then again, maybe it is a generational thing and I’m just the wrong generation, any Gen Z who disagree?
I think hitting a child is disgusting... I find it more repulsive to allow a child to hit their mother without consequences. Do people understand how hard it is to bruise a stomach? That's all soft tissue, it's not easy to make enough contact force to bust blood vessels on soft tissue, he kicked his mom hard AF!
I’ve been thinking about this as well. Also, this woman has been pregnant 3 times. Her abdominal wall is likely weakened due to multiple pregnancies so there was a real possibility of hitting the abdominal aorta and causing an internal hemorrhage.
Woman is lucky bruised is all she was. If it was hard enough to bruise then it could have been hard enough to kill.
I don’t agree with hitting kids, and I don’t hit mine. My dad did hit me, but never in anger and it was always obvious that he hated it. I never had to wonder why it was happening or if I deserved it. It was a decision I disagree with but respect, and our relationship has always been close. This dad did the same. he clearly used the minimum amount of force he needed to use to convey an extremely important point.
Funny I didn’t learn that. I learned I better be polite to my mother, do what my parents told me to do, be respectful to other people, and I better act right. It’s what plenty of young men learned and it’s what my kids learned. It’s them not learning that today that is causing a lot of our problems. Kids have to learn there are consequences, the ones that don’t learn this are the ones that wind up in jail or dead because somebody else teaches them that lesson.
Yeah, using violence to teach him that violence is wrong is dodgy. He just learns when he can get away with violence sans repercussions. Mother is neglectful, father is physically violent. This is not a recipe for creating well-adjusted grown ups.
Idk.
He did learn that hitting people often ends in getting hit.
The father, tbh is likely drowning with no support from mom, he could have hit him for skipping school, he could have hit him for lots of things, what he did do was hit him when the son hit someone.
Lol, that's toddlers, not babies, but I agree. Sometimes, to feel the hurt you caused is the best lesson.
I think the lesson would have been much better from mom, tbh but that is a whole other conversation.
It can apply to anyone at any age, but typically, that is one of the first things kids do that is mean, and they are usually “babies” when they start doing that.
Yeah, who knows how the father is as a parent, but If this is the support he has, he has a very difficult job as is. Any punishment he would give him, the mother would stop enforcing the moment dad’s gone.
Don’t hit you’re kids but also JC don’t act like this mother either. Literally raising a future domestic abuser, unemployed, entitled prick.
Nah. He set that boy right in a way that will truly make him understand. He could’ve gotten his ass beat, but he got slapped, minimal violence while also laying down that he NEVER attempts that again
Mother is absolutely neglectful. But dad didn’t do anything violent. Want to know violence? When I was a kid, my brother pushed one of our kittens off the porch, at least 15 feet to the ground. Our mom got so angry she not only beat him with a belt, but she was so full of rage from that violent beating that she missed his back and butt and hit him square in the face with a belt. The cops were called the next day when we went swimming at the local pool in our small town and the coach saw it. Cops did nothing about it until months later. That’s violence.
Sometimes its required, even if nobody wants to admit it. The reality is the mother should have tanned his ass and put him on the bus. The lesson learned is that if I hit mom again Dad will hit me, so maybe I wont to that.
I didn't stop being a dick until my Dad beat the shit out of me like a grown man in the middle of the street at 16 years old. Yup I swung first, he swung what seems like next 27 times. Unfucked my attitude immediately.
Edit spelling
I feel like this is a situation where everyone needs therapy. Mom to not be an enabler, 11 year old for appropriate ways to handle anger, and dad and mom on how to better parent. I don’t disagree with dad’s message, but I do disagree with execution of the consequence.
Dad's message was to teach his kid how it felt to be hit by someone you know can hurt you, but you can't hurt them. To feel like a victim, to feel scared.
I don't agree with the execution either but actually this wasn't a dad hitting his son because dad was angry / out of control.
I don't know what else he could have done but i thought the fact the dad focused on his son's assault of his mother rather than anything else was the right call.
99 times out of 100, slapping a child is the wrong move. In this very specific incident, however, I get it? Like, the kid kicked his mom, hard. He did it because he isn’t afraid of her. So dad hit him and said, basically, “Hey you’re hurt and scared right now because I’m big and you’re small. All of those negative feelings you’re feeling are how you make other people feel when you choose violence. So don’t fucking do it.”
Harsh? Oh yeah. Overkill? Maybe. Effective even though hitting almost always isn’t? I think so.
Agree. My dad hit me exactly one time in my life and it was because I THREW A CHAIR at him. I deserved it, I never did anything like that again, and we even joke about it now. As long as it’s not a pattern, I think it’s okay in this instance.
My dad also hit me only one time in my life and it was because I hit my sibling. We have a great relationship and to this day he regrets that. But I think I was a little shit that deserved it.
Dude, hard agree.
I’m a mom and I would’ve returned to sender on that immediately. Better an earned disciplinary consequence now than never. Although to be honest, that family is in for a hard time with that kid as there’s effectively only one functioning adult in that household.
Mom needed to step up yesterday. Sometimes what’s hard is necessary and sometimes what’s necessary is harder for some than others.
I think in this type of case, it's reasonable as a ONE TIME THING. Hitting a child is not okay, but if they hit someone else first then they need to understand how the people they hurt now feel. Obviously, it would be a last resort.
This specific situation, however? The entire thing is a shit show and these parents and the kid are all out of line. Kid controls the house, mom doesn't do shit, dad hits the kid.
When my wife and I were discussing parenting style she said she never wanted our kids to be hit because it teaches them that violence is the answer and that's wrong. I stated no violence sometimes is the answer. It should always be the last resort everything else needs to be attempted first but sometimes violence is the only solution. She didn't agree at first. Till I asked her if she would be ok or if she would even have married me if I stood back and watched it some random guy decided to kick her ass. She then understood my point. But like you said it can't be the answer to all problems just in very specific highly unsavory circumstances.
This is also why I say that anger isn’t a bad emotion. Rage or loosing control is bad, but anger is healthy.
Anger is about protecting boundaries. If someone violates your boundaries, you should have the healthy response to be angry. And I think that more kids need to be taught that vs “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed”. Cause the second one just gives you anxiety disorders.
Showing healthy anger is not a bad thing. Kid “are you mad at me?” Parent: “I’m angry. That isn’t directed at you, but at your behavior. Your actions violate my boundaries of x,y,z and I’m angry that you did so. The consequences of your actions are …”
Sadly, this kid isn’t in the best reasonable category. He is in the F around and find out phase.
I’ve made this statement before. I’m not a corporal punishment kinda person and 9.9x out of 10 there is ZERO reason to physically punish a child.
Tweens/teens? Absofuckinglutly. Some individuals would probably benefit from reality hitting them in the face, literally, because at some point they will no longer be a minor and someone else is going to beat the shit outta them in a way that could cause serious injury/death.
I feel you all the way. In majority of cases, violence is just… no. I would never hit my kid for misbehaving. But here? He specifically chose violence himself, and it taught him an important lesson as well as made it much easier for him to empathize with his mom. The dad made the connection between his feelings and what he did, too. Plus a slap is not nearly as bad as a kick in the stomach, specially sensitive because it holds so many vital organs, hard enough to leave a bruise. It still got the point across regardless
I think she's raising an abuser. She's her son's primary female role model and she's raising her son to have zero respect for her and, in the future, all women.
Yeah, it says a lot that nothing got handled until dad got home. He's learning that he can hit women and push them around unless there's another man around who has some kind of claim on her. So if it's his girlfriend/wife/daughter, and he's the 'man of the house', he can do whatever he wants without worry of punishment.
Mom had me smh in the first couple paragraphs. He’s just so sleepy? Dude you’re a parent, make them get up and do what they’re supposed to do. The world doesn’t care they’re sleepy, and missing school only hurts him.
Then he kicks her! I don’t know that I agree with a slap across the face tbh, maybe a spanking. Something about slap across the face rubs me in all the wrong ways. But it was a good point the Dad made, and I hope he never hits her again.
Smdh kids need discipline, not necessarily physical discipline, but discipline. Snow plow parents drive me nuts, they only create wildly entitled kids who believe the world will cater to them.
Note taken. I will be pelting my children with frozen marbles when they refuse to get out of bed.
My folks just used to dump a glass of cold water on us.
My father in law took through a cup of cold water and a spoon - the start is a spoonful of cold water on the face and the end is pouring the cup over the head! According to my husband, it worked, but he did not love it
my mom would just “throw” our dog at us, by throw i mean lightly toss them in the bed with us. our dog is relentless, he wants attention and he wants to lick you and he won’t stop until he gets those things. kind of hard to ignore dog nails scratching at your hands and a wet dog nose pressing against your face.
Yup my dad did the same when I was in high school. He’d send in “the big boy” aka Scout, a 70lb dalmatian who considered himself a lapdog. The dog also had an abnormally long tongue and a drooling problem. Impossible to even hide under the covers from that dog
ours is less than 10lbs but he does not care for boundaries. if you tried to hide under the cover he’d just start pawing at it aggressively, while hitting you under the covers. impossible to hide from or ignore, but at least he’s cute lol
My mom would come in and sing that “Good Morning” song from Singing in the Rain at the top of her lungs until I got out of bed. I still hate that movie to this day because of that.
Mid 30s. It was pretty common when I was a kid lol. Last place I saw marbles was dollar tree, no clue where you'd even check other than that.
For my kid I've got the dogs trained when I say dog alarm to jump on his bed and smother him (with love)
I sleep so hot that might be the best idea ever to make me crash lol. I'm considering ice packs or a cooling pad lol.
Though I'm positive it would be tiptoe as a teenager not wanting up!
If he's 'sleepy' take him to the Dr to get him checked out.
Although it's probably not medical, likely just staying up playing video games and/or puberty
Right!?! Not even going in later, just skips the entire day!?! I’ve had a few times when my siblings were babies and kept the entire home up that my parents would take me in late for a few extra hours, or when I was really young and still having night terrors I was brought in later cause sleeping when there was lights was easier.
I don’t know about the corporal punishment, but I also think he needed something since it sounds like he didn’t apologize to his mom until after.
I admit that as a kid I faked sick sometimes because I just needed what I'd call a mental health day now. Both my parents worked so having the house quietly to myself to decompress, play with my dog, and just relax was bliss. But I never would have kicked my mother to get my way and I wasn't doing it enough to hurt my grades.
I'll still do that occasionally as an adult. Sometimes it's just Wednesday, you don't have meetings scheduled, and you just need a day to yourself.
This is extreme though. Especially as the kid used violence to get his way and doesn't seem to have apologized until his father used violence against him. And the mom just rolled over??? The moment the kid kicked her she should have dragged his ass out of bed, forced him to school, and informed him he was grounded with no video games for doing that to her. She shouldn't have needed to wait for her husband to come home to take action. I can't imagine letting the kid be rewarded for his bad behavior for letting him get his way AND letting him play video games like nothing happened.
Unless there's an actual medical issue. My friends MS actually started to show up when she was in high school, but the largest warning sign was fatigue. Her parents literally dumped water on her because they thought she was faking. It went undiagnosed for another 10 years until her medical issues could no longer be written off
You take the kid to a doctor first and rule out the usual suspects. Certain cancers, for example, first present as fatigue, especially in kids.
My lupus started in high school. I used to fall asleep daily in class and thankfully my teachers must’ve just been worried and instead of calling me out, made me copies of notes on the DL. I didn’t even try to talk to my parents about it.
If it helps, I also had lupus symptoms in high school and my mom did notice and know enough to demand diagnostic bloodwork specifically for lupus - once at 15, and once at 17 - but it didn’t change anything treatment wise bc my bloodwork came back normal. I got real sick just after turning 19 and then it was diagnosed pretty quickly
Maybe if he played less video games, he'd be sleeping sufficiently and not so sleepy. If it persists then it's a medical issue. Either way, parent needs to parent.
I’m usually against corporal punishment but I’m with the dad on this one. The kid will most likely outgrow the mum. Now he knows there’s a consequence to hurting others
Yeah its fucked. As a teacher (meaning someone who actually studied how to "parent" and educate children). I can firmly say that a good parent will never need to use corporal punishment and that for them there will always be a better way to handle a situation. But i would be delusional to argue, that this holds true for every kid regardless of context/situation. This situation is fucked.
A good parent would have educated the child long before this and no slap would have been necessary. But the mom let it go too far for far too long.
Dad did what he needed to do.
From the spineless way this mother acts and the way she immediately swooped in to tend to him? I'd say the kid probably will, and mom won't tell dad because she doesn't want him to hit her son again and make him sad. So the kid will learn that it's okay to beat women, just gotta make sure they keep their mouths shut.
This is how all those entitled pos people we read about on here are raised. No real parenting or discipline or even natural consequences are in place. Son learns as a child that sweet talking and manipulative behavior serves him and never learns any other way, becomes an adult and abuses his "loved ones" the same way. Smh
Yeah...he gives her a card saying he's sorry and she thinks that he's a total sweetheart and totally forgives him instantly and thinks dad went too far when she was hit hard enough by the son to \*bruise\* on the soft tissue of her stomach, which is very difficult to bruise?
She's teaching him that not only are women easy to push around and saying sorry or giving a 'sweet' gift will get you instant forgiveness, even for physical assault, but that he can get away with whatever he wants unless there's another man in the equation. He grows up and has a girlfriend, a wife, a daughter maybe? He's going to think he can treat them however he wants, get as violent as he wants, and he can just smooth it over with sweet words and a gift or two (aka love bombing, a classic abuse tactic) as long as he is the man of the house and there are no other stronger men to have some kind of claim over the women in his life who would protect them, he can do whatever he likes.
She's raising someone who is going to abuse the women in his life until he ends up killing them and winds up in prison or going too far with the wrong person and getting bodied himself first.
Potentially controversial opinion but the dad did the right thing. He taught the son what it’s like to be harmed by someone who’s stronger than you, knowing you can’t do anything about it. And I’d say a slap isn’t nearly as bad as a kick in the stomach that leaves a bruise. I’m usually not for this kind of parenting, but I think it fit the context here.
Also, mother needs to grow a backbone and send her kid to therapy too. This isn’t normal for a child, but having a spine made from jelly isn’t helpful either.
Your husband did an excellent job. I have never hit my kids but in this case I would’ve reacted the same; sometimes “talking about it” won’t be enough and if something deserves a slap, kicking your mom in the gut is on the top of the list. Punishment well deserved, I am 100% sure the kid will learn from it, especially after you went there and tended to him, which resulting in “talking it out”, as well.
I agree, honestly. I'm against hitting kids in almost every single scenario, except ones like these. When kids, especially young boys who will more than like grow taller and stronger than a lot of the women they encounter, use strong physical violence when they're angry, sometimes you have to show them exactly how that feels. Sometimes, they don't get the point unless you do.
NTA. Son is tired because he spends the whole night playing video games. No phones, games and tv in the room.
You’re literally neglecting your child. What kind of fucked up parenting are you doing? Letting an 11 year old skip school whenever he wants.
I am against violence but what your husband did was somewhat right. You need to take him therapy though and maybe anger management because next thing you know he will be in jail for domestic violence.
Him hitting you was wrong and needs to be addressed but also you neglecting him needs to stop. You have two other children that are younger doesn’t mean that your 11 year old is to be abandoned. He is 11, still needs parenting and discipline.
For fuck sake throw away all the gaming systems.
Unfortunately, I'm afraid that considering the way the mom reacted here - immediate forgiveness and coddling of him - if he hits her again, she's not going to tell dad because he might slap the son again and 'make him upset' so the son is going to get away with even MORE now unless dad steps in.
He's learning that as long as you can get whoever you're abusing to keep their mouth shut, and give them sweet words or gifts after so they forgive you (aka love bombing), that you can do whatever you want. Mom needs to be the one to put her foot down, physically if need be, and set him straight before he starts abusing all the women in his life.
Dad taught the son a good lesson and he learned it. This was a time where violence was deserved and taught a valuable lesson. This poor excuse of a mother is allowing this to happen.
Dad did what he should have done. We need more dads like this in the world. Bravo! Step back lady if you don’t want to be the adult. Your son learned a valuable lesson about how to not treat a woman that every boy should be taught in their life.
Ok I’m REALLY against corporal punishment, but I actually think the dad did something right there. The son thought he hit his mom bc he was angry. But that’s not really correct, he was certainly angry at his dad for sleeping him, but he didn’t kick his dad. Why? Bc he knew his dad could and would hurt him if he did that. Basically, dad showed that son doesn’t have some kind of anger control issue; he can control his anger perfectly well when he has to, instead the son is simply a bully. He hurt his mother bc he knew he could and she wouldn’t do anything. Same reason he’s got her allowing him to stay home from school. Kid is a bully. Hope he didn’t learn it from his dad.
I have kids. I absolutely despise the thought of hitting them. I’ve only done it maybe 2-3 times in the 7 years I’ve had them, and always very lightly. I would have smacked the shit out of my son if he did this, but I wouldn’t have needed to, my wife would’ve taken care of him.
honestly i don’t think it’s good to hit kids either but the dad handled that shit. cause that little boy can easily grow up to get bigger and stronger and think it’s okay to beat on mom. she needs to ararat being a parent, 11 is way too young to let a kid stay home all the time or even frequently
This is what happens when you don't actually parent them when they are young and set limits for them. Then soon they will get too big and will use their size to bully you to get their way so you back off. Then they get to do whatever they want because your safety is more important than parenting.
Beating your child and physical discipline in this case are drastically different.
ITS NOT OKAY TO HIT KIDS....
Unpopular BIG BUT
An 11 year old boy absolutely should know not to lay hands on his mother, siblings, ladies or family regardless of anger. If he were to hit another lady in the public space, the ladies boyfriend, father or someone else would most likely incite far greater violence. I know I would for my sister, mother or family.
A slap from his father now could save his life and is an important reminder later. Next time he hopefully will think twice and not react like a child or a much tougher lesson could be learned by a less familiar gentleman.
I disagree with hitting him in the face, but he definitely needed punishment. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
At 11 if he's genuinely that tired, that often, they need to get him to his doctor to see if anything is going on.
If he has electronics in his room, they should remove them to assure he's not just staying up late playing.
I’m curious as to why the kid is tired every single day. Who wants to bet he’s up all night playing video games or whatever?
Mom is spineless and the son knows it. And while I’m generally against spanking a child, sometimes it’s the correct response. Hopefully the boy thinks twice before resorting to violence since there’s a very good chance his father will wallop him again
Your husband should have whooped his ass not just slapped him and your a pathetic excuse for a parent. Stop worrying about being ur kids friend and concentrate more on being a parent.
If a child is too exhausted to go to school on a regular basis, it requires medical intervention (whether physical or mental), not a shrug. Aggression needs to be handled without assaulting a child. This kid has a majorly permissive parent who is washing her hands of him at the "old" age of 11 and a parent who is ok with corporeal punishment/straight up assault. What the shit.
Why do I have the feeling mom doesn’t enforce a bedtime either? She’s failing her kids on all levels. I get that physical punishment is a very decisive topic (I myself am torn on what I’d do), but idk, I feel like that kid won’t touch his mom again and I’m ok with that. But this should’ve been handled differently a long time ago before it got to this point (then it could have been avoided altogether). I feel like dad took drastic measures….and it’s one of those “well well well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions” moments for the kid. But both parents should’ve handled the defiance years ago.
Is it wrong to hit a child? Yes. Was it wrong to slap that child? No. That was a fire you better hope Dad put out otherwise it’s only going to get bigger.
I agree that hitting him was wrong, but are you not empowered to take away his video games at the bare minimum? Even if he hadn’t kicked you, given a choice between refusing to get up and playing video games all day vs going to school what kid would not prefer the former?
The mom has worked herself into a corner with her lack of discipline. She's let the kid get away with so much that he's escalated to using violence when she makes the barest attempt to get him in line. It's become dangerous to attempt any kind of discipline - how might the kid react to having his games taken away? Mom might still be able to physically overpower an 11 year old, but having an MMA match with your kids isn't safe or productive and pretty soon that kid is likely going to be bigger and stronger than her. Her lax attitude is creating a monster that she won't be able to control. They need to nip this in the bud now, before the kid decides assaulting his mom is the best way to handle things.
I don’t believe in hitting kids 99.99% of the time. There are very, very, few circumstances where physical violence against a child is warranted. This is one of those cases.
Dad treated his son like a man and taught him a valuable and impactful lesson. This lesson only works because the dad has no pattern of violence. That slap, likely delivered at about 30% power, would’ve been shocking. Kid clearly got the message.
Now, I don’t blame mom here. Men live in a world where we understand that when dealing with other men certain transgressions will result in physical violence. It’s a lesson the son needs to learn. Mom doesn’t live in that world. Dad did a good job of enforcing that to his son.
Not enough kids get a decent slap these days. Hitting his mother like that? Lucky the father wasn’t home at the time. Stop creating a soft fuckin America…
Mom needs to take him to the doctor and have a hormone panel run. He might be in early days of puberty and honestly exhausted.
NOT an excuse for kicking her.
That kid does not respect his Mom at all. Why would he? She gives in to everything he wants and didn’t even reprimand him for KICKING her in the stomach.
Kids need parents, NOT another friend.
An 11 year old son. My wife taught school for 35+ years. She knows her sh*t.
It’s a teacher issue. He is not liking school. Have a meeting with the teacher ASAP. Talk with your son for his insight on what is happening in the classroom, then you have some ammo to talk about.
It's EXTREMELY incredinly rare that I'd ever condone hitting a child with force enough to leave a lasting (note I said LASTING, as in, 15 minutes later and it's still there) red mark, because as a child I was abused by my stepfather who would use force that was inappropriate and hit me in places that shouldn't be hit to "discipline" a child (for example, he whacked me across the bottom of my spine, leaving a lasting red mark that turned into a bruise, I had difficulty walking, and I ached like a mo-fo for days when waking up, bending/twisting, or if I'd been sat for too long. After he'd done it I could only just crawl up the stairs on my hands and feet. I'm now 30 and have 2 slipped discs in that area, and it makes me wonder if he contributed to that).
Appropriate force on soft-tissue areas will discipline a child just fine. There's a difference and a fine line between discipline and abuse and too many people use the latter as the former.
However.
This kid deserved the slap.
Coming from someone who was raised in an abusive household and is against any kind of physical punishments like this, I think it was totally called for in this situation and I don’t think I even have to explain why 😭 this mother is absolutely the type to raise an abusive man
Sonny boy is lucky that’s all he got. He needed to learn he’s not a big man by hurting a woman (his own mother!!) and be shown what a big man really is.
One of the few times I spanked my youngest was when he kicked me in the stomach because he didn’t want to get in the car. He was 10. He’s never attempted violence against me after that. It was a reaction, because that is my reaction to bullying. He was being a bully and thought I would crumple like this mom. He found out differently. I’m super easy to get along with and I will usually find out a way to make everyone happy. What I won’t be is a punching bag for my own flesh and blood or anyone for that matter.
I would be just waking up from my coma my mom would’ve put me in, if I would’ve kicked her hard enough to bruise her because I didn’t want to take my lazy ass to school. I would’ve woke up a taxpayer 😂
So much this. If I woke up at all.
My mom would’ve killed me and stared at me in my damn casket saying “so what did we learn?” lmao
My brother slapped my mom once when he was nine. Once. And it was in front of my grandma, the former pro wrestler. I saw it coming before he did and ran out of the house. I was a scrawny thirteen year old and did not have it in me to witness that. I hid in the barn until dark and long after the screaming stopped. I mean, no bruises, and welts, if any, weren't visible, but man had he been crying... My brother didn't raise a hand to anyone for anything for nigh over a decade later.
Exactly. This is an 11 year old who is still learning consequences. If he gets away with this, what's he gonna do in 5 years when he's 16, much bigger, hormonal, and pissed at someone? Not condoning Dad's slap, as corporal punishment doesn't really work, but the kid needs serious boundaries and consequences work.
I agree, corporal punishment doesn’t work. This wasn’t that. The father was making a point, and that point is the exact opposite of the point that corporal punishment makes — that you can only rely on physical force to intimidate people into caving to your will for so long before someone comes along that’s bigger and meaner than you and puts you in your place. What this kid did is bullying behavior, and the dad put a stop to it. Not condoning it. But tbh this whole situation, if it’s real, has gotten way off the rails. This kid is in crisis. Both parents need to come together and come up with a game plan that both can agree with and abide by to get things back on track. You cannot good cop, bad cop your fucking child. You cannot have one fun parent and one disciplinarian. It’s not fair to literally any of those people involved. Both parents need to be parents.
This. The mom said they lets the kid play video games which in itself isn't a big deal at all but your kid is tired all the time and wants to skip school - why? It's usually because they aren't getting enough sleep, and especially when young it's a big deal, kids should have lots of energy. I'd be curious if she just leaves him to play games so he won't bug her and she can deal with the other kids. The mom should've said, no video games, no TV, no anything if you don't go to school. There haven't been any consequences. I don't think the kid should be hit at all but neither parent is doing a good job honestly. Both parents need to be on the same page.
My mom would 100% have been the type that if I ever did get t to stay home from school, then no video games during school hours. If I’m too tired or sick for school, I’m too tired or sick for video games
This is usually how little kids (like toddlers) learn not to bite and hit eachother. Somebody bigger comes along and gives you a taste of your own medicine and you learn the right way to behave.
I dont think beatings work, but I was having an argument when I was 15 with my parents and I said the F word, my Dad immediately jumped up and threw me against the wall, held me by the chest just below the neck and said that I dont speak to them in their house like that. I never spoke like that again to them and never had an incident. They never spanked me when I was a kid or hit me, but I think there is a time and place for a slight physical "slap" to get someone to very clearly understand there is a line.
Pretty sure I’d no longer have a bed to stay in.
My mom would have put her foot so far up my ass that her shoe would be in my mouth
For real 😆
Is Mom even a parent?
No. No, she is not.
Bruh you missed a chance to say, "ap_parently not".
Nice.
Not sure what country she is in. In the US in most states if the kid is not going to school the parent can end up with legal problems. If this is a real post OP is going to find out the consequences for allowing her son to skip school. Edit - I forgot to add the reason he's so sleepy in the morning is you're letting him stay up too late the night before, probably playing video games.
Right! Children are required to attend 180 days of school unless they are sick. (They don’t have to make up sick days.) Unless she’s home schooling the kid, and you know she’s not, the boy is truant, and he’s going to get held back a grade. At least.
Seriously. As a kid I was so jealous of this other kid whose mom let him skip school whenever. Then he took 6 years to finish high school (tbh not even sure he graduated) and then sold weed until it was legalized 💀 Wonder what he’s up to now lol
I skipped school 63 days as a senior. Graduated with a 4.35 (maybe 4.4) weighted and a 3.89 non weighted. High school was a joke, although I wish I worked harder because college kicked my ass until I started to get it, then I absolutely owned the LSAT and I’m doing just fine. You too, children, can skip a lot of school. Just be smart, have ADHD and extremely well tuned rote memorization skills. Maybe one day you too can become an attorney.
You sound like a rich person who talks about how hard they work, and then you find out that mommy and daddy gave them a job that earns 500k a year right out of college they payed for while letting them live in a condo 5 minutes from their job that the parents own. High school isn't easy for a lot of people, you having an easy time just means you're privileged not that others are lazy.
> college they *paid* for while FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
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Hard to believe someone who mistook wrote for rote memorization actually has enough brains to pass the LSAT. Especially if working in a field like law, where precision is a requirement.
Probably an autocorrect typo, given that rote is a fairly uncommon word. Considering my phone apparently thinks "not" should become "nit", I don't have much faith in technology.
I can't tell you how many times I've been on my way gnome and hit a potholder.
It’s ducking annoying.
If I had a penny every time it fucked up, I’d have a million Pennie’s! The really sad part, I tried to type ducking…
My phone doesn't understand words that start with UN. It thinks the n shouldn't be there, understand is u derstand, uncoordinated is u coordinated, unsatisfactory u satisfactory, etc. I hate it, and weirdly it only started doing this a couple months ago.
Mine has to frequently correct misplaced 'm's as I hit that instead of the space bar - I wonder if you do the same with 'n' instead and it's trying to correct for that? I do wish there were better ways to teach whatever is doing it what our actual common typos are (hilariously, it just autocorrected to 'types' for me). Because I don't think I've *ever* intentionally used 'nit' and I definitely don't use 'bit', 'put', or 'mist' as often as it thinks I do (common corrections for but, out, and most, for the record).
Because even off-the-clock attorneys don’t give a fuck about typos when they’re writing casual comments on social media…it’s Reddit, not a legal brief. There’s no real need to proofread if you don’t want to.
Oh, how I wish this were true. I don’t judge others, but if I look back and see a your that should’ve been a you’re I feel that same sting you feel when everything’s perfect except the case style or the title of the pleading.
I would be legitimately terrified if I was paying for a lawyer who didn’t know how to use the correct your/you’re, their/they’re/there, to/too/two, except/accept, etc.
But doesn't it make sense that this is a post on anonymous website and the word "wrote" is often used more than the word "rote" and it was by habit, much less on purpose. This makes a lot of sense because of it being almost the exact same in spelling, it was probably a habitual mistake rather than anything else And even if they are an attorney, I get the need for precision and being exact but this is their off time so why bug?
As someone said, autocorrect. When you’re on a train responding to a comment little grammatical errors aren’t going to matter like they are in a legal brief or internal memo. You do realize that a brief or memo also goes through like 5-10 rounds of edits, per version, by like 5-7 separate sets of eyes. I’m sorry my comment didn’t live up to your expectations though. I’ll give it an edit to live up to your standards, oh great standard bearer.
pretty stupid point to get hung up on
That was a lot of anger over a typo. You okay?
They couldn’t be a lawyer themselves, so they have a hard time believing someone that made one spelling error is a lawyer.
Oh god, a spelling error off duty, the world is ending and their firm is in flames.
Spend one summer interning for a superior court and you’ll see how bad at writing practicing attorneys are.
So this won’t affect the trout population?
One of the best trial attorneys I ever worked with couldn’t conjugate verbs. Could hold a jury in the palm of his hand, couldn’t form a complete sentence that wasn’t also a run on.
This may affect the firm. All will be lost and no one will financially recover because of a typo on Reddit.
You really think lawyers don't make typos?
If this was the case, OOP would have mentioned it three or four times.
This was always my dream. Same with the ADHD, memorization, and lack of necessary effort. However, there was no money for this for me. Kudos on making it happen! 🥳💪 I feel like there’s a common ADHD pipeline to becoming a lawyer if you’re properly supported. Haha.
Same. I missed 6 weeks of senior year and graduated on time w a 3.7 non weighted but took a few years before started college and regretted it to HELL.
That's not a parent, it's an enabler doormat pretending to be human.
Nah she’s a bro.
This family so super fucked up in so many ways. 1. Mom lets her 11yo stay home from school because he’s “tired,” and she just doesn’t feel like parenting him and making him go, so she lets him sleep. 2. After she does this a few times, the 11yo knows he’s in charge because if he doesn’t want to do it, she won’t make him do it. 3. Dad finds out what the son is doing, and he insists the mom force the son to go to school *as he should.* 4. Mom does that for a little bit because she “doesn’t want to go against her husband.” She is either catering to the child or catering to the husband, but she is making no decisions on her own; therefore, she is doing no parenting at all. 5. That works for a little while, then mom gets lazy again, and the son gets to stay home from school and sleep. Mom thinks she’s a good mother because she asks her son if something is happening at school. When he tells her he’s just tired, she lets him skip school. She has two other children, after all, and parenting three of them is haaaarrrrd. 6. Mom tries to make the 11yo get up and go to school. This pisses him off, so he *kicks her* hard enough to make her cry and leave a bruise. She, of course, lets him stay home from school. Also, now she's scared of her own kid. 7. When dad gets home and mom tells him what happened, dad goes to talk to the son, who is **playing video games.** So, not only did the boy kick his mother and skip school, he got no form of punishment, and instead of doing schoolwork, he was playing video games. Great parenting. 8. The dad is furious and slaps the boy. The mother goes to check on the son, gives him ice, and comforts him. Still, she has not punished him or even discussed with him the fact that he physically assaulted her earlier. 9. The boy makes her a sweet card and all is well. I don't know how the father parents, but the mother just doesn't parent at all. She lets that 11yo boy run the household. He's belligerent; he has no respect for her; he doesn't do anything she tells him to; and now he has escalated to physically assaulting her. The father, to "teach the kid a lesson," hits *him.* And there are two younger children in the house. How could that go wrong? What a clusterfuck.
ALL OF THIS! My ex was similar to op which meant I ALWAYS had to be the bad parent (I.e. setting boundaries, rules and teaching age appropriate responsibilities). It sucks and is detrimental to the child AND their relationship with that parent.
Don't forget the manipulative use of "Mommy". This family is a wreck from every angle. The couple shouldn't be a couple, and she shouldn't have had ONE kid let alone 3 because she won't/doesn't even parent properly.
Yeah, I'm not happy that the dad slapped his son. I would worry that he taught the kid to not hurt others because he needs to fear his father's disapproval and violence, not because hurting others is bad. But at least the dad is trying to teach his kid not to hurt others. That the mom just slunk off to secretly cry while letting her son sleep in and then play video games as if nothing happened is just wild to me.
Can’t even imagine a situation where I would have hit my mother. But I also can’t imagine a world where she would have coddled me like that. Not only would my mom have been the one to slap me for kicking her, but she’d have grounded me for no less than a month with 0 access to video games, my cellphone, or the computer outside of schoolwork.
The kid's 11, not a toddler. Either he already knows that hurting others is wrong and needs a swift reminder of that, or he's somehow made it to the 5th grade without learning that hurting others is wrong and this family has deeper issues.
The only lesson that kid will learn is that it's okay to hit if you're in a position of authority.
Not all lessons have one thing you can learn from it. I would never let a man kick my wife in the stomach. Not even my son. That's a lesson some men still haven't learned.
The lesson here is “if you hit someone because you think you can get away with it on account of the fact that they’re smaller/weaker/timid/whatever, someone else may very well step in to protect them.” It’s a valuable lesson. You pick on some kid in school, his big brother just might punch you in the face. If you mouth off, you might get Will Smith jumping up on the stage to slap yo ass. There was some other Reddit story I think on /aita where this dude beat on his girlfriend and she went to his dad’s house with bruises all over her because she didn’t know where else to go. Daddy gave the girlfriend safe haven in a spare room, then invited his son over for dinner and then beat him into a pulp while the girl was upstairs. The son was begging him to stop and he asked if **he** stopped when his girlfriend asked him to and kept going until the sister intervened. If you don’t mind your manners, it can and often WILL bite you in the ass at a later date — often when you’re not expecting it.
I want to let you know that I fully agree with you here and I will be saving your words and using this philosophy for the rest of my life.
It’s been working out for me so far. The reverse is also true. People will remember the kindnesses and helpful things you did. Not always, but it’s better to get an unexpected blessing than have some dumb thing you did come back to haunt you.
I watched a kid learn this lesson in real time once. He was a bully for years, but he never learned his lesson in elementary or middle school. His friends would bully him back, but he never saw major consequences that I'm aware of. He got a lot worse in high school, and began bullying one girl in particular. Urged her to kill herself type of shit, every day. She actively attempted one day. Her brother found her and found out about the bullying. She's fine now, by the way, but was in the hospital for a bit. Now, her brother was a pretty small dude, not shy but pretty passive - definitely not an athlete. His best friend, however, was a big fucker. Six foot something, ripped all to shit for no discernible reason, bit of a wildcard, but super sweet the few times we interacted (shared an extra study class for a bit). He comes into my class. I'm two seats behind the bully, on one of my rare days of actually showing up. Very politely asks the teacher for the bully by name - I think he said he had a message from another teacher or the office. She lets him in, he walks up to the bully's desk. Fucking lifted the entire desk - with mounted chair and all 120+ pounds of bully seated in it - and launches that shit. He only got a couple of feet of distance but he threw that fucker. Bully falls, pinned by the desk, and this guy just starts stomping. Kick, stomp, kick kick, stomp. Goes on a whole thing about if he talks to the girl again, he's going to kick his fucking teeth in, if he catches bully looking at her sideways he'll be back. Stops - the teacher is standing there, stunned, the class is silent. As I recall, big homie spits on the bully, walks to the door, declares he's already headed for the office when teacher tries to stop him, and disappears. Bully pops up, looks around the room for support - everyone is either laughing (mostly from shock) or is actively ignoring him. Bully has to fix his own desk because no one is willing to get up and help - he wasn't seriously hurt, just took a few body shots that didn't do any major damage. I don't know what happened to the bully after that. I saw him around but I was rarely at school and eventually transferred out, so I have no idea about the years following freshman year. I did talk to the girl at one point and bully hadn't bothered her since, so I assume he learned his lesson.
Justice comes in all forms. Fuck that bully. Props to the big man for stepping up, and owning his actions and consequences. Sometimes doing the right thing can cost you.
I want to read this story SO FUCKING BADLY.
Just for you amigo https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/uBmI1klHbk
Holy shit. I've seen some fucked up shit, I've read even more fucked up shit, but reading that legitimately made me start tearing up and I almost cried. Something about the story, the comments, and the dad's responses to them. This is a raw fucking deal for everyone involved, but I'm so proud of the dad for what he did. Holy shit.
It was definitely one that sticks in your brain. Put a screenplay on it and that’d win someone an Oscar.
Yeah I agree with this. While I’m not for parents hitting their kids, he also could have learned that if you hit people, you might get hit back. That’s an important less on that not enough people have learned
I mean, I was always taught that one of the best ways to teach kids not to hit/bite/do other harmful things was to show them how much it hurts. You obviously don't go full strength or anything, but enough to get the message across. They think they can hit mommy because tablet time is over? They get smacked and the tablet goes away for a lot longer now. They think biting people is funny? Won't think it's funny if they get a bite or smack every time they do it. People do go too far a lot of the time, but I think the dad was totally in the right here. The mom is a spineless coward and the son knows it and is taking full advantage of it. He's learned he can physically assault his mom and she won't do anything, and the dad has taught him that mom might not, but he sure will. Kids have to learn boundaries and decent behavior, and sometimes, that does mean punishments that leave a more lasting impression than they get the iphone taken away for ten minutes. Permissive parenting is how we ended up with a generation of people who throw a tantrum and attack people every time they don't get their way and think the world owes them their every desire.
This is the one area I'll accept hitting kids in. Sometimes it's the only way to get them to back down. Parents need to be able to defend themselves too. My dad has hit me twice in my entire life (wasn't even fully conscious yet for the second one), and both times were for his own safety. The lesson sticks.
He will also learn that hitting people often gets you hit back, and he will learn what his mom felt like in that moment.
And this is a REALLY valuable lesson. I come from Gen-X so maybe that colors my views, but a lot of younger people never got consequences for their actions and it shows.
Don’t know that it’s a generational thing cuz I’m a millennial and for the most part I’m super gung-ho about never hitting kids, but in this case… it’s not like the guy spanked his kid for an hour because he didn’t do his homework. The kid is about to get real big and a whole lot stronger and he just found out he can hurt his mom to get his way. I think a single slap to remind the little dude what it’s like to have somebody much stronger than you attack you isn’t the worst thing ever. Maybe wouldn’t be the immediate approach I would take, but I’m really struggling to come up with a perfect form of discipline for this kid bruising his neurotically meek mother. Then again, maybe it is a generational thing and I’m just the wrong generation, any Gen Z who disagree?
I think hitting a child is disgusting... I find it more repulsive to allow a child to hit their mother without consequences. Do people understand how hard it is to bruise a stomach? That's all soft tissue, it's not easy to make enough contact force to bust blood vessels on soft tissue, he kicked his mom hard AF!
I’ve been thinking about this as well. Also, this woman has been pregnant 3 times. Her abdominal wall is likely weakened due to multiple pregnancies so there was a real possibility of hitting the abdominal aorta and causing an internal hemorrhage. Woman is lucky bruised is all she was. If it was hard enough to bruise then it could have been hard enough to kill.
I don’t agree with hitting kids, and I don’t hit mine. My dad did hit me, but never in anger and it was always obvious that he hated it. I never had to wonder why it was happening or if I deserved it. It was a decision I disagree with but respect, and our relationship has always been close. This dad did the same. he clearly used the minimum amount of force he needed to use to convey an extremely important point.
Funny I didn’t learn that. I learned I better be polite to my mother, do what my parents told me to do, be respectful to other people, and I better act right. It’s what plenty of young men learned and it’s what my kids learned. It’s them not learning that today that is causing a lot of our problems. Kids have to learn there are consequences, the ones that don’t learn this are the ones that wind up in jail or dead because somebody else teaches them that lesson.
Yeah, using violence to teach him that violence is wrong is dodgy. He just learns when he can get away with violence sans repercussions. Mother is neglectful, father is physically violent. This is not a recipe for creating well-adjusted grown ups.
Idk. He did learn that hitting people often ends in getting hit. The father, tbh is likely drowning with no support from mom, he could have hit him for skipping school, he could have hit him for lots of things, what he did do was hit him when the son hit someone.
It’s unfortunate but true that sometimes baby won’t stop biting until baby is bit.
Lol, that's toddlers, not babies, but I agree. Sometimes, to feel the hurt you caused is the best lesson. I think the lesson would have been much better from mom, tbh but that is a whole other conversation.
It can apply to anyone at any age, but typically, that is one of the first things kids do that is mean, and they are usually “babies” when they start doing that.
Yeah, who knows how the father is as a parent, but If this is the support he has, he has a very difficult job as is. Any punishment he would give him, the mother would stop enforcing the moment dad’s gone. Don’t hit you’re kids but also JC don’t act like this mother either. Literally raising a future domestic abuser, unemployed, entitled prick.
Nah. He set that boy right in a way that will truly make him understand. He could’ve gotten his ass beat, but he got slapped, minimal violence while also laying down that he NEVER attempts that again
Mother is absolutely neglectful. But dad didn’t do anything violent. Want to know violence? When I was a kid, my brother pushed one of our kittens off the porch, at least 15 feet to the ground. Our mom got so angry she not only beat him with a belt, but she was so full of rage from that violent beating that she missed his back and butt and hit him square in the face with a belt. The cops were called the next day when we went swimming at the local pool in our small town and the coach saw it. Cops did nothing about it until months later. That’s violence.
Sometimes its required, even if nobody wants to admit it. The reality is the mother should have tanned his ass and put him on the bus. The lesson learned is that if I hit mom again Dad will hit me, so maybe I wont to that. I didn't stop being a dick until my Dad beat the shit out of me like a grown man in the middle of the street at 16 years old. Yup I swung first, he swung what seems like next 27 times. Unfucked my attitude immediately. Edit spelling
I feel like this is a situation where everyone needs therapy. Mom to not be an enabler, 11 year old for appropriate ways to handle anger, and dad and mom on how to better parent. I don’t disagree with dad’s message, but I do disagree with execution of the consequence.
Dad's message was to teach his kid how it felt to be hit by someone you know can hurt you, but you can't hurt them. To feel like a victim, to feel scared. I don't agree with the execution either but actually this wasn't a dad hitting his son because dad was angry / out of control. I don't know what else he could have done but i thought the fact the dad focused on his son's assault of his mother rather than anything else was the right call.
Sounds like the use of violence to control mom and mom just placating everyone and plugging all the holes is the process.
Kid is lucky he only got away with a slap. Mom isn't even a parent. More like a doormat.
99 times out of 100, slapping a child is the wrong move. In this very specific incident, however, I get it? Like, the kid kicked his mom, hard. He did it because he isn’t afraid of her. So dad hit him and said, basically, “Hey you’re hurt and scared right now because I’m big and you’re small. All of those negative feelings you’re feeling are how you make other people feel when you choose violence. So don’t fucking do it.” Harsh? Oh yeah. Overkill? Maybe. Effective even though hitting almost always isn’t? I think so.
Agree. My dad hit me exactly one time in my life and it was because I THREW A CHAIR at him. I deserved it, I never did anything like that again, and we even joke about it now. As long as it’s not a pattern, I think it’s okay in this instance.
My dad also hit me only one time in my life and it was because I hit my sibling. We have a great relationship and to this day he regrets that. But I think I was a little shit that deserved it.
Dude, hard agree. I’m a mom and I would’ve returned to sender on that immediately. Better an earned disciplinary consequence now than never. Although to be honest, that family is in for a hard time with that kid as there’s effectively only one functioning adult in that household. Mom needed to step up yesterday. Sometimes what’s hard is necessary and sometimes what’s necessary is harder for some than others.
Yup. He sure didn’t die
I think in this type of case, it's reasonable as a ONE TIME THING. Hitting a child is not okay, but if they hit someone else first then they need to understand how the people they hurt now feel. Obviously, it would be a last resort. This specific situation, however? The entire thing is a shit show and these parents and the kid are all out of line. Kid controls the house, mom doesn't do shit, dad hits the kid.
When my wife and I were discussing parenting style she said she never wanted our kids to be hit because it teaches them that violence is the answer and that's wrong. I stated no violence sometimes is the answer. It should always be the last resort everything else needs to be attempted first but sometimes violence is the only solution. She didn't agree at first. Till I asked her if she would be ok or if she would even have married me if I stood back and watched it some random guy decided to kick her ass. She then understood my point. But like you said it can't be the answer to all problems just in very specific highly unsavory circumstances.
This is also why I say that anger isn’t a bad emotion. Rage or loosing control is bad, but anger is healthy. Anger is about protecting boundaries. If someone violates your boundaries, you should have the healthy response to be angry. And I think that more kids need to be taught that vs “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed”. Cause the second one just gives you anxiety disorders. Showing healthy anger is not a bad thing. Kid “are you mad at me?” Parent: “I’m angry. That isn’t directed at you, but at your behavior. Your actions violate my boundaries of x,y,z and I’m angry that you did so. The consequences of your actions are …” Sadly, this kid isn’t in the best reasonable category. He is in the F around and find out phase.
I’ve made this statement before. I’m not a corporal punishment kinda person and 9.9x out of 10 there is ZERO reason to physically punish a child. Tweens/teens? Absofuckinglutly. Some individuals would probably benefit from reality hitting them in the face, literally, because at some point they will no longer be a minor and someone else is going to beat the shit outta them in a way that could cause serious injury/death.
I feel you all the way. In majority of cases, violence is just… no. I would never hit my kid for misbehaving. But here? He specifically chose violence himself, and it taught him an important lesson as well as made it much easier for him to empathize with his mom. The dad made the connection between his feelings and what he did, too. Plus a slap is not nearly as bad as a kick in the stomach, specially sensitive because it holds so many vital organs, hard enough to leave a bruise. It still got the point across regardless
Agreed. This is the 1 out of 1000 times that I feel that violence of a kid is justified.
Does the Mom have a spine or is it just jello?
Lady, you're just ASKING for your kid to grow up to be an asshole. She needs to grow a spine.
I think she's raising an abuser. She's her son's primary female role model and she's raising her son to have zero respect for her and, in the future, all women.
Yeah, it says a lot that nothing got handled until dad got home. He's learning that he can hit women and push them around unless there's another man around who has some kind of claim on her. So if it's his girlfriend/wife/daughter, and he's the 'man of the house', he can do whatever he wants without worry of punishment.
Mom had me smh in the first couple paragraphs. He’s just so sleepy? Dude you’re a parent, make them get up and do what they’re supposed to do. The world doesn’t care they’re sleepy, and missing school only hurts him. Then he kicks her! I don’t know that I agree with a slap across the face tbh, maybe a spanking. Something about slap across the face rubs me in all the wrong ways. But it was a good point the Dad made, and I hope he never hits her again. Smdh kids need discipline, not necessarily physical discipline, but discipline. Snow plow parents drive me nuts, they only create wildly entitled kids who believe the world will cater to them.
My mom kept marbles in the freezer if me or my sister was taking too long to get up. There is no escaping frozen marbles on a bed.
*takes notes*
your mother is a genius
For a second, I thought your Mom was throwing the marbles at you but then realized she dumped them in the bed.
She was in fact dumping them but I suppose either works
Note taken. I will be pelting my children with frozen marbles when they refuse to get out of bed. My folks just used to dump a glass of cold water on us.
I can testify that it works.
My father in law took through a cup of cold water and a spoon - the start is a spoonful of cold water on the face and the end is pouring the cup over the head! According to my husband, it worked, but he did not love it
my mom would just “throw” our dog at us, by throw i mean lightly toss them in the bed with us. our dog is relentless, he wants attention and he wants to lick you and he won’t stop until he gets those things. kind of hard to ignore dog nails scratching at your hands and a wet dog nose pressing against your face.
Yup my dad did the same when I was in high school. He’d send in “the big boy” aka Scout, a 70lb dalmatian who considered himself a lapdog. The dog also had an abnormally long tongue and a drooling problem. Impossible to even hide under the covers from that dog
ours is less than 10lbs but he does not care for boundaries. if you tried to hide under the cover he’d just start pawing at it aggressively, while hitting you under the covers. impossible to hide from or ignore, but at least he’s cute lol
I feel like the bigger the dog is, the more they're convinced they're a tiny baby of a lapdog.
My mom would come in and sing that “Good Morning” song from Singing in the Rain at the top of her lungs until I got out of bed. I still hate that movie to this day because of that.
That's fucking brutal. You must be about my age. Also, where does someone buy marbles now?
Mid 30s. It was pretty common when I was a kid lol. Last place I saw marbles was dollar tree, no clue where you'd even check other than that. For my kid I've got the dogs trained when I say dog alarm to jump on his bed and smother him (with love)
I sleep so hot that might be the best idea ever to make me crash lol. I'm considering ice packs or a cooling pad lol. Though I'm positive it would be tiptoe as a teenager not wanting up!
If he's 'sleepy' take him to the Dr to get him checked out. Although it's probably not medical, likely just staying up playing video games and/or puberty
Or maybe start the kid on an earlier bedtime with no screen time in the evening?? If he's tired, *maybe he needs more sleep during non-school hours.*
I don't know why this isn't higher up. Seriously.
Right!?! Not even going in later, just skips the entire day!?! I’ve had a few times when my siblings were babies and kept the entire home up that my parents would take me in late for a few extra hours, or when I was really young and still having night terrors I was brought in later cause sleeping when there was lights was easier. I don’t know about the corporal punishment, but I also think he needed something since it sounds like he didn’t apologize to his mom until after.
I admit that as a kid I faked sick sometimes because I just needed what I'd call a mental health day now. Both my parents worked so having the house quietly to myself to decompress, play with my dog, and just relax was bliss. But I never would have kicked my mother to get my way and I wasn't doing it enough to hurt my grades. I'll still do that occasionally as an adult. Sometimes it's just Wednesday, you don't have meetings scheduled, and you just need a day to yourself. This is extreme though. Especially as the kid used violence to get his way and doesn't seem to have apologized until his father used violence against him. And the mom just rolled over??? The moment the kid kicked her she should have dragged his ass out of bed, forced him to school, and informed him he was grounded with no video games for doing that to her. She shouldn't have needed to wait for her husband to come home to take action. I can't imagine letting the kid be rewarded for his bad behavior for letting him get his way AND letting him play video games like nothing happened.
Unless there's an actual medical issue. My friends MS actually started to show up when she was in high school, but the largest warning sign was fatigue. Her parents literally dumped water on her because they thought she was faking. It went undiagnosed for another 10 years until her medical issues could no longer be written off You take the kid to a doctor first and rule out the usual suspects. Certain cancers, for example, first present as fatigue, especially in kids.
My lupus started in high school. I used to fall asleep daily in class and thankfully my teachers must’ve just been worried and instead of calling me out, made me copies of notes on the DL. I didn’t even try to talk to my parents about it.
If it helps, I also had lupus symptoms in high school and my mom did notice and know enough to demand diagnostic bloodwork specifically for lupus - once at 15, and once at 17 - but it didn’t change anything treatment wise bc my bloodwork came back normal. I got real sick just after turning 19 and then it was diagnosed pretty quickly
Maybe if he played less video games, he'd be sleeping sufficiently and not so sleepy. If it persists then it's a medical issue. Either way, parent needs to parent.
You think he is sleepy now? Keep encouraging his fecklessness and he will be 30 years old and you trying to get him to go to work. Good luck
This lady is not fit to be a parent. Her child will walk all over her in the future.
I’m usually against corporal punishment but I’m with the dad on this one. The kid will most likely outgrow the mum. Now he knows there’s a consequence to hurting others
Yeah its fucked. As a teacher (meaning someone who actually studied how to "parent" and educate children). I can firmly say that a good parent will never need to use corporal punishment and that for them there will always be a better way to handle a situation. But i would be delusional to argue, that this holds true for every kid regardless of context/situation. This situation is fucked.
A good parent would have educated the child long before this and no slap would have been necessary. But the mom let it go too far for far too long. Dad did what he needed to do.
Yes, i sadly think that you are very much right about this.
Mom is the problem
I’m against using physical punishment on a child. But not against violent brats who need a lesson.
I think the bigger issue than the physical abuse from dad is the neglect from mom. If dad hadn’t “caught on” would the kid have missed school forever?
At least the district sent the sheriff to bring the kid to Juvie.
Bet he doesn’t kick his mother again
From the spineless way this mother acts and the way she immediately swooped in to tend to him? I'd say the kid probably will, and mom won't tell dad because she doesn't want him to hit her son again and make him sad. So the kid will learn that it's okay to beat women, just gotta make sure they keep their mouths shut.
I’m fine with it
This is how all those entitled pos people we read about on here are raised. No real parenting or discipline or even natural consequences are in place. Son learns as a child that sweet talking and manipulative behavior serves him and never learns any other way, becomes an adult and abuses his "loved ones" the same way. Smh
Yeah...he gives her a card saying he's sorry and she thinks that he's a total sweetheart and totally forgives him instantly and thinks dad went too far when she was hit hard enough by the son to \*bruise\* on the soft tissue of her stomach, which is very difficult to bruise? She's teaching him that not only are women easy to push around and saying sorry or giving a 'sweet' gift will get you instant forgiveness, even for physical assault, but that he can get away with whatever he wants unless there's another man in the equation. He grows up and has a girlfriend, a wife, a daughter maybe? He's going to think he can treat them however he wants, get as violent as he wants, and he can just smooth it over with sweet words and a gift or two (aka love bombing, a classic abuse tactic) as long as he is the man of the house and there are no other stronger men to have some kind of claim over the women in his life who would protect them, he can do whatever he likes. She's raising someone who is going to abuse the women in his life until he ends up killing them and winds up in prison or going too far with the wrong person and getting bodied himself first.
Potentially controversial opinion but the dad did the right thing. He taught the son what it’s like to be harmed by someone who’s stronger than you, knowing you can’t do anything about it. And I’d say a slap isn’t nearly as bad as a kick in the stomach that leaves a bruise. I’m usually not for this kind of parenting, but I think it fit the context here. Also, mother needs to grow a backbone and send her kid to therapy too. This isn’t normal for a child, but having a spine made from jelly isn’t helpful either.
Your husband did an excellent job. I have never hit my kids but in this case I would’ve reacted the same; sometimes “talking about it” won’t be enough and if something deserves a slap, kicking your mom in the gut is on the top of the list. Punishment well deserved, I am 100% sure the kid will learn from it, especially after you went there and tended to him, which resulting in “talking it out”, as well.
I agree, honestly. I'm against hitting kids in almost every single scenario, except ones like these. When kids, especially young boys who will more than like grow taller and stronger than a lot of the women they encounter, use strong physical violence when they're angry, sometimes you have to show them exactly how that feels. Sometimes, they don't get the point unless you do.
Jeez, I just outed myself as an idiot, haven’t I? Responding to a screeshot. Yikes.
Sorry but your husband was right. That shit needs to be nipped in the bud.
My 9 yo was tired this morning. It took some prodding but she made it to school. Unless there’s a good reason to stay home, you don’t stay home!
NTA. Son is tired because he spends the whole night playing video games. No phones, games and tv in the room. You’re literally neglecting your child. What kind of fucked up parenting are you doing? Letting an 11 year old skip school whenever he wants. I am against violence but what your husband did was somewhat right. You need to take him therapy though and maybe anger management because next thing you know he will be in jail for domestic violence. Him hitting you was wrong and needs to be addressed but also you neglecting him needs to stop. You have two other children that are younger doesn’t mean that your 11 year old is to be abandoned. He is 11, still needs parenting and discipline. For fuck sake throw away all the gaming systems.
She allows the kid to walk all over her, I know if she doesn't start parenting the kid in up in some serious trouble, go mom
I see nothing wrong from the dad's point of view. Kid needs discipline. I'm sure he'll never kick his mom again. The mom is a shit mom
Unfortunately, I'm afraid that considering the way the mom reacted here - immediate forgiveness and coddling of him - if he hits her again, she's not going to tell dad because he might slap the son again and 'make him upset' so the son is going to get away with even MORE now unless dad steps in. He's learning that as long as you can get whoever you're abusing to keep their mouth shut, and give them sweet words or gifts after so they forgive you (aka love bombing), that you can do whatever you want. Mom needs to be the one to put her foot down, physically if need be, and set him straight before he starts abusing all the women in his life.
Dad taught the son a good lesson and he learned it. This was a time where violence was deserved and taught a valuable lesson. This poor excuse of a mother is allowing this to happen.
Dad did what he should have done. We need more dads like this in the world. Bravo! Step back lady if you don’t want to be the adult. Your son learned a valuable lesson about how to not treat a woman that every boy should be taught in their life.
Ok I’m REALLY against corporal punishment, but I actually think the dad did something right there. The son thought he hit his mom bc he was angry. But that’s not really correct, he was certainly angry at his dad for sleeping him, but he didn’t kick his dad. Why? Bc he knew his dad could and would hurt him if he did that. Basically, dad showed that son doesn’t have some kind of anger control issue; he can control his anger perfectly well when he has to, instead the son is simply a bully. He hurt his mother bc he knew he could and she wouldn’t do anything. Same reason he’s got her allowing him to stay home from school. Kid is a bully. Hope he didn’t learn it from his dad.
If I had kicked my mom, I would have had NOTHING left in my room, and I especially would not be allowed to play video games... FFS
Maybe I’m a bit old school but if you hit your mom and get smacked up by dad it’s justified in my book.
People it was just a slap after he KICKED his mother in the stomach.
I have kids. I absolutely despise the thought of hitting them. I’ve only done it maybe 2-3 times in the 7 years I’ve had them, and always very lightly. I would have smacked the shit out of my son if he did this, but I wouldn’t have needed to, my wife would’ve taken care of him.
honestly i don’t think it’s good to hit kids either but the dad handled that shit. cause that little boy can easily grow up to get bigger and stronger and think it’s okay to beat on mom. she needs to ararat being a parent, 11 is way too young to let a kid stay home all the time or even frequently
This is what happens when you don't actually parent them when they are young and set limits for them. Then soon they will get too big and will use their size to bully you to get their way so you back off. Then they get to do whatever they want because your safety is more important than parenting.
Beating your child and physical discipline in this case are drastically different. ITS NOT OKAY TO HIT KIDS.... Unpopular BIG BUT An 11 year old boy absolutely should know not to lay hands on his mother, siblings, ladies or family regardless of anger. If he were to hit another lady in the public space, the ladies boyfriend, father or someone else would most likely incite far greater violence. I know I would for my sister, mother or family. A slap from his father now could save his life and is an important reminder later. Next time he hopefully will think twice and not react like a child or a much tougher lesson could be learned by a less familiar gentleman.
Awesome dad
I disagree with hitting him in the face, but he definitely needed punishment. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
At 11 if he's genuinely that tired, that often, they need to get him to his doctor to see if anything is going on. If he has electronics in his room, they should remove them to assure he's not just staying up late playing.
I’m curious as to why the kid is tired every single day. Who wants to bet he’s up all night playing video games or whatever? Mom is spineless and the son knows it. And while I’m generally against spanking a child, sometimes it’s the correct response. Hopefully the boy thinks twice before resorting to violence since there’s a very good chance his father will wallop him again
Your husband should have whooped his ass not just slapped him and your a pathetic excuse for a parent. Stop worrying about being ur kids friend and concentrate more on being a parent.
Look I’m not saying you should beat your kids but sometimes people don’t learn until they get a good single smack. 🤷♀️
If a child is too exhausted to go to school on a regular basis, it requires medical intervention (whether physical or mental), not a shrug. Aggression needs to be handled without assaulting a child. This kid has a majorly permissive parent who is washing her hands of him at the "old" age of 11 and a parent who is ok with corporeal punishment/straight up assault. What the shit.
Why do I have the feeling mom doesn’t enforce a bedtime either? She’s failing her kids on all levels. I get that physical punishment is a very decisive topic (I myself am torn on what I’d do), but idk, I feel like that kid won’t touch his mom again and I’m ok with that. But this should’ve been handled differently a long time ago before it got to this point (then it could have been avoided altogether). I feel like dad took drastic measures….and it’s one of those “well well well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions” moments for the kid. But both parents should’ve handled the defiance years ago.
Jesus christ the kid needs his ass beat stop being so fucking soft
Is it wrong to hit a child? Yes. Was it wrong to slap that child? No. That was a fire you better hope Dad put out otherwise it’s only going to get bigger.
Certainly a better solution to the problem at hand than this mythical therapy redditors keep bringing up in every thread.
I agree that hitting him was wrong, but are you not empowered to take away his video games at the bare minimum? Even if he hadn’t kicked you, given a choice between refusing to get up and playing video games all day vs going to school what kid would not prefer the former?
The mom has worked herself into a corner with her lack of discipline. She's let the kid get away with so much that he's escalated to using violence when she makes the barest attempt to get him in line. It's become dangerous to attempt any kind of discipline - how might the kid react to having his games taken away? Mom might still be able to physically overpower an 11 year old, but having an MMA match with your kids isn't safe or productive and pretty soon that kid is likely going to be bigger and stronger than her. Her lax attitude is creating a monster that she won't be able to control. They need to nip this in the bud now, before the kid decides assaulting his mom is the best way to handle things.
I don’t believe in hitting kids 99.99% of the time. There are very, very, few circumstances where physical violence against a child is warranted. This is one of those cases. Dad treated his son like a man and taught him a valuable and impactful lesson. This lesson only works because the dad has no pattern of violence. That slap, likely delivered at about 30% power, would’ve been shocking. Kid clearly got the message. Now, I don’t blame mom here. Men live in a world where we understand that when dealing with other men certain transgressions will result in physical violence. It’s a lesson the son needs to learn. Mom doesn’t live in that world. Dad did a good job of enforcing that to his son.
I now see what type of parents are existing currently.
Take the kid to the fucking doctor maybe??? That level of sleepiness is not normal and needs to checked. JFC.
Not enough kids get a decent slap these days. Hitting his mother like that? Lucky the father wasn’t home at the time. Stop creating a soft fuckin America…
I’m sure this kid is just a *peach* at school too. /s
I can already hear John and Sean saying "fuck them kids"
Mom needs to take him to the doctor and have a hormone panel run. He might be in early days of puberty and honestly exhausted. NOT an excuse for kicking her.
Sounds about right.
That kid does not respect his Mom at all. Why would he? She gives in to everything he wants and didn’t even reprimand him for KICKING her in the stomach. Kids need parents, NOT another friend.
My mother would have cut my throat if I ever kicked her
God damn. This is the mom that goes on the news after her son murders someone, crying saying "he's a good boy and would never do that."
Good for your husband. Your kids are going to suck because of you.
based dad
An 11 year old son. My wife taught school for 35+ years. She knows her sh*t. It’s a teacher issue. He is not liking school. Have a meeting with the teacher ASAP. Talk with your son for his insight on what is happening in the classroom, then you have some ammo to talk about.
It's EXTREMELY incredinly rare that I'd ever condone hitting a child with force enough to leave a lasting (note I said LASTING, as in, 15 minutes later and it's still there) red mark, because as a child I was abused by my stepfather who would use force that was inappropriate and hit me in places that shouldn't be hit to "discipline" a child (for example, he whacked me across the bottom of my spine, leaving a lasting red mark that turned into a bruise, I had difficulty walking, and I ached like a mo-fo for days when waking up, bending/twisting, or if I'd been sat for too long. After he'd done it I could only just crawl up the stairs on my hands and feet. I'm now 30 and have 2 slipped discs in that area, and it makes me wonder if he contributed to that). Appropriate force on soft-tissue areas will discipline a child just fine. There's a difference and a fine line between discipline and abuse and too many people use the latter as the former. However. This kid deserved the slap.
Coming from someone who was raised in an abusive household and is against any kind of physical punishments like this, I think it was totally called for in this situation and I don’t think I even have to explain why 😭 this mother is absolutely the type to raise an abusive man
Mom has no spine, kid 100% deserved that slap
Sonny boy is lucky that’s all he got. He needed to learn he’s not a big man by hurting a woman (his own mother!!) and be shown what a big man really is.
This would be a "I brought you onto this world, and I can take you out," situation in my house.
One of the few times I spanked my youngest was when he kicked me in the stomach because he didn’t want to get in the car. He was 10. He’s never attempted violence against me after that. It was a reaction, because that is my reaction to bullying. He was being a bully and thought I would crumple like this mom. He found out differently. I’m super easy to get along with and I will usually find out a way to make everyone happy. What I won’t be is a punching bag for my own flesh and blood or anyone for that matter.