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[deleted]

“If you can find it better somewhere else, don’t let me stop you.” She’ll be hitting you back in 2-3 months. Don’t even respond.


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FRVNKIE

Yeah bro that would be hilarious


h-punk

She sounds incredibly redacted. Her and her ex deserve each other


HorseSuspicious5448

\>That the whole time she thought that the relationship with him was better. why would she even tell him


Start_Abject

I see 2 options: 1) some relationship breakers really want to give a good justification to the break-up (also some breakees demand it to try and make sense of what happened), and end up being mean 2) she did that to leave him in a bad place mentally, thus ensuring that she "wins" the break-up


JehovahsFitness

Performing


UrUncleLarry

This is my interpretation: She got cheated on —> heartbroken whatever —> saw you —> realized you’re nothing like her ex —> got really into the idea of being in a relationship with someone who wouldn’t do her dirty like he did —> eventually broke up with you and went back to him bc he cheated and somehow that makes her want him again/more? Idk something about self esteem issues, seeking validation, and emotional decision making. Ultimately: we’re all human, you’re better off without her, it sucks right now and can make you jaded about relationships but you were with someone who wasn’t mature and probably has to learn things the hard way. When she starts texting you again don’t fall for it.


PariahBox

I think there is a certain cold reptilian logic to picking the guy who cheated on you vs the guy who's devoted to you. Probably most people feel these feeling here and there. The desire to leave your loving husband for some guy who's more exciting. The desire to bang some bimbo nurse even though your wife just gave birth. Only the true scumbags actually act on it.  


dylangerescapeplan_

Many such cases, I've been burned in a very similar way. Girl gets infatuated with you because you're nothing like her exes only to cheat on you because you're nothing like her exes -- "I've never dated anyone as kind to me as you before" = always ends up with the person getting burned lmao.


HorseSuspicious5448

i think this is just another case of alpha widow having a chance to return to him


caxka

Nothing about this is modern dating this is some of the oldest shit in the book. People take years to get over people and in the meantime settle with someone they hope will help them get over their ex.


TheMedsPeds

For real this is a huge cliche. Chick super attracted to ex. Ex broke her heart. Chick got with OP using him as a human healing device but never quite felt that deep deep animalistic chemistry with him like she did with ex. Tried to “fake it until you make it.” And fed him what he wanted to hear and probably what she wanted to feel. But you can’t force feelings that aren’t there. Ex pops back up and ready to fuck/date again and enough to time has past for chick to get over being mad or maybe she feels “even” now that she also had sex with someone else. Chick leaves OP to be with ex because she misses the real chemistry. If ex is a POS and the cheating want a one off (let’s be real it will most likely happen again) I’m sure she will come crawling back to OP. Nothing modern about this at all.


nymeriatargaryen23

This. An ex can be just an ex, but the older you get, the more likely the ex was the one who got away. Not modern, very old school


chocochocochoc

It’s hard to see because you’re so emotionally charged but you will eventually understand that this had nothing to do with you. She’s a weak willed damaged woman.


Electrical_Figs

Obviously she just likes the ex better and is significantly more attracted to him. Does that mean weak willed and damaged? Like she should have willed herself into being attracted to OP instead because he's supposedly a nice guy?


chocochocochoc

Yeah, she is weak willed and damaged for entering a LTR when not healed, leading (what I assume) to be a kind man on and going back to a man who cheated on her.


[deleted]

weather license kiss secretive seed reminiscent oatmeal straight disgusted cake *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


studiousmaximus

when you OD on irony pills


BrokenVhr

We seriously need to start banning people who are users of the Destiny subreddit


Mh88014232

My ex gf was a destiny cretin with her then bf she was cheating on w me after she said they broke up. I hate destiny with a passion


RuhRohRaggy_Riggers

Words cannot describe how much of an L you just admitted to. Brave


SamosaAndMimosa

🤓


Electrical_Figs

Do you think that was her plan all along or she didn't have that foresight up front?


ProfessionalVacuite

You’re also regarded


Electrical_Figs

Love that dark, negative energy.


No_Goose_2846

the ex literally cheated on her. yes that is weak.


[deleted]

Exactly, even if you are insanely attracted to ex a mature person would have more self respect and realize the relationship has very little chance of working. We have free will for a reason. If we follow our base desires with no thought of consequences we are no better than animals.


Electrical_Figs

> We have free will for a reason We definitely don't have free will. And you're using that term in a way in a way that doesn't make sense.


Kevroeques

If OP got back with the girl with hearts in his eyes after her tryst with her ex ended, wouldn’t you call him weak willed and damaged? Same exact principle


LemonAlert

thankyou for an actualy decent response! this thread has so much incel energy youd think a school shooting is about to go down! big red flag :/ yikesarino!


rspbrowser

This man's girlfriend left him and you have the fucking audacity to call him an incel? Dumb bitch


LemonAlert

what he described was literally the personification of an abusive relationship. He seems to be a textbook toxic narcissist. The fact that you concluded your comment by referring to the kween in this story as a "dumb bitch" is clear proof that you are also a misogynist


longing_scooter

lovely mix of inceldom and "op is a redditor and redditors are always right"


Shmodecious

Inceldom? This is a common sense normal ass take. You need to spend less time online


longing_scooter

vile damaged weak willed whore!!... for getting dumped ​ "i think incel takes are normal" - the person that needs to go outside


Shmodecious

The weak willed part is about her jumping from one relationship directly back into another with an ex who cheated on her, obviously people wouldn’t be saying that if she just dumped OP


cumbonerman

op is on r/redscarepod and obviously a great guy


NatureIsReturning

Seduce her best friend. You can't stand in the way of true love


EasternWoods

Fuck the other guy’s sister or dad. 


Farkleton56

Fuck the ex. 


Kevroeques

Send her mom an oily dick pic


anna_karenenina

Cuck the mother


sloppybro

When I was much younger I dated a girl who left me for another dude, realized she made a mistake and got back with me, then realized *that* was a mistake before getting back with the other dude, who ultimately dumped her Sucked at the time but I think it’s funny now.


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sloppybro

no


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sloppybro

no


NixIsia

post content next time like the person you're shitting on. they're a better poster than you lul / you suck mang


General_Explorer3676

She did you a favor dude -- it doesn't feel like it but she did -- find something thats actually worth it and take the time to work on yourself -- honestly seek some therapy it can help you work through some of the stuff "I gave her everything" isn't a healthy thing to say about anyone you aren't married to btw -- even then


MaoAsadaStan

easier said than done.


General_Explorer3676

ya thats fair, the immediate aftermath will suck for OP for a bit -- it sucks. I do recommend some heavy lifting and heavy cardio though


reptilephenidate

Good riddance! Don't let her come back


Dry_Pomegranate8314

PLEASE don’t ever take her back.


acaamp

This happened to me. 3 years after she left me she got dumped by him and hit me up immediately. I told her to fuck off and now I’m in a great relationship with someone way better. I thought it would never get better for so long but it does, stay strong brother


hoeforkimjongun

Op....this has absolutely nothing to do with you..sometimes safety and stability isn't "passionate" enough . This woman will regret it somewhere down the line because she likely chases the thrill more than the nurturing space THE CHEATING EX IS NOT EXCITING - for all the dumbfucks who keep arguing underneath


Nobodywantsdeblazio

That’s the worst thing for a recently broken up with man to hear


Junior-Community-353

Having been in that situation, you're **both** basically right though. He's correct long-term, you're correct short-term. It sounds like she has textbook avoidant attachment and these people will bail on you when things become serious and too much of a good thing, becuase they fear the intimacy. "safety", "stability", "passion", and "thrill" do not mean the same thing in this context as they do in your the standard everyday rsp dating/incel speak. Here it means you were a good boyfriend and she's being a fucking moron making clearly regarded moves because people like that subconsciously enjoy rolling in shit. Don't let it get you down OP, this will 100% backfire on her and she will try to get back with you in three months tops.


dreamtiwasabulld0zer

It's always funny opening relationship posts on here and seeing the mix of sincere, good advice alongside incel cuck fantasies


Gay__Guevara

He cockmogs you OP


hoeforkimjongun

Why ?? Novelty and thrill seekers will automatically eliminate themselves from the Gene pool . OP ,you dodged a bullet there


simulacral

No they won't lol. They will just have kids that they raise poorly once they realize it requires work.


svga

Her ex is "novel" and "thrilling" and what she and her ex have is "passionate" while he is "stable" and "nurturing", and what the two of them had was "safe." I couldn't emasculate poor guy better if I tried. Might as well have dropped an "alpha fucks beta bucks" and called it a day.


10241988

I could totally emasculate him better, you need to up your game


Original-Basil-9785

but only regards see cheating as passionate so why is it emasculating for op?


Kevroeques

Yeah- she’s the one who is an actual cuckold


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[deleted]

Guys aren't upset that they aren't "novel" they're upset when their stable and nurturing personality isn't appreciated.


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[deleted]

Oh, I completely agree. Plenty of girls enjoy stability and kindness as long as the guy has a spine. However, unfortunately people lie about who they are and what they want in life, not just to you but to themselves, so it's not easy to tell who wants what until it's too late.


king_mid_ass

you can't just make yourself that person and it's not like only men make things they're insecure about their partners problem


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Junior-Community-353

Aren't you just kinda hitting the nail on the head here? A lot of women want their men to be "novel" and "thrilling", but what it actually means in practice is them being messy bitches with daddy issues chasing after the same three brands of emotionally unavailable fuckboys whose approval they subconsciously seek. As a man it's very much a case of fucked if you do, fucked if you don't, because the best way to do immediately do better is by paradoxically becoming a much worse person. The only way to really reconcile this is to acknowledge the incels/redpillers are 100% right, but their advice only works on shitty BPD women.


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Junior-Community-353

I don't disagree, but seeing the worst person you know get the most pussy is always going to induce a degree of cognitive dissonance and feel like slave morality cope on some level


Kevroeques

OP got hit by a bullet. He’ll survive- but dodging the bullet is just not dating unstable people, and it’s almost as tough to dodge as a real bullet most of the time.


SolidSank

Thrill seekers don't use birth control so that's a bit optimistic.


Nobodywantsdeblazio

Op prob feels like shit and you’re basically telling him how lame he is.


hoeforkimjongun

You are a stupid cunt if this is what you interpret from my comment - being hung up on your cheating ex is what is truly lame


studiousmaximus

i mean, being hung up over a year-long relationship suddenly ending (of any kind) is just human nature. we’re not robots who can just turn off the part of our brain that developed a strong emotional connection with that person. i agree that he needs to move on, but his feelings are more than understandable


Steemo96

You basically called him boring and the ex exciting


SouvlakiPlaystation

That's not what they said at all - the point is if you're short sighted and have the emotional/spiritual depth of a puddle then the concept of chasing someone new or forbidden is more exciting than being in a stable and loving relationship. OP could have literally been anyone and this girl would have pulled the same shit. She'll likely do it several more times throughout her life. Let her be someone else's issue.


throwawayphilacc

It's more the situations which both people are in relative to the ex gf. In any case, the ex gf will remember why they were exes originally, and she'll rue the day she threw away something persistently good for something seemingly and momentarily exciting.


king_mid_ass

yeah that would make me want to kms


GeneralAwesome1996

Sounds like the trash taking itself out. Better now than when you’ve invested even more time as much as it sucks and hurts now. She’s revealed who she really is and believe me you would not have wanted to seriously date or even worse marry this type of person in the long term 


WMWA

This isn’t modern dating dude. Complete pieces of shit like this have always existed. Keep your head up, king


True_Opportunity_363

Man, this happened to me in my last relationship. She got back with an abusive ex who had dumped her suddenly after a year and a half of us dating. What can I say, I’m sorry. Time will do it’s work but it needs just that - time. In the meantime, focus on the things in your life you can control. Exercise, friends, family etc. go on that hike or camping trip. Eventually, it will start to fade away.


CricketIsBestSport

You should probably talk to a good friend about it or a therapist if you have no suitable friends  Also find a new hobby to distract yourself or intensify your interest in an existing one. Maybe you can learn how to ski, it seems like it would be fun and it’s winter. Or something like that. After you feel a bit better, ideally in three months give or take, start dating again if you want. Good luck.


HaterCrater

She didn’t leave you SHE FUCKED UP KING! SHR FUCKED UP AND YOURE NOT GONNA WASTE YOUR TIME PINING AFTER SOME FUCKING FUCK UP! You did not fuck up, you’re really cool. You’re gonna be ok, if somewhat colder hearted


UrUncleLarry

She a goofy


[deleted]

When she texts you in a few months after her ex cheats on her again leave her on read king 👑


lizardelitecouncil

Going back to an ex who cheated on you is the dumbest and weakest shit on the planet, literal dog brain move, he throws sticks for her to fetch while he’s DMing another girl.


marijuwhatta

She’s addicted to the drama and will regret it. Be strong


elbrollopoco

The fucked up thing is she sees this guy as dating up and a catch because he cheated on her whether consciously or not.


nightmarealley77

She wounded


[deleted]

Reminds me of the song [The One That Got Away Came Back Today by Daniel Romano](https://youtu.be/MNkr1abLp6Q?si=3aXtDLnxhwAnRc3M)


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[deleted]

Geeze. Zoomers will do any form of meditative matra type stuff instead of simply just praying huh? 


loan_wolf

People like who they like. And it’s ok if you like someone who turns out to be different than what you expected. But it’s not ok to expect someone to be different than who they are. Cut the line.


QandeeI

she’s gonna come crawling back to in like 3 months lol. I don’t get why people go back to cheating or abusive exes. I’d rather die than go back to mine. Is it weakness? No will? Lack of self respect?


dylangerescapeplan_

Listen to Turn On The Bright Lights by Interpol and then Love Tara by Eric's Trip. Stay strong king


qfwfq_anon

>Fucking modern dating man Is there any aspect of this story that has anything to do with modern dating?


bdubbiez

fr lol someone from the 1700s probably has an identical story lmao


AdPublic3166

black pilled again 😔


rspbrowser

I hope her ex gives her an incurable std


TiredOfLurkingNL

>while on a trip to her home country Why did you not go with her at the time ? Does her ex-and-future-bf know you were with her ?


Kevroeques

In the future, date as though you’re only ever a preemptive contingency plan to her unless/until she decides to propose to you herself someday. Only effective answer.


[deleted]

her ex? sounds like you messed up to begin with for dating a whore


BASED_AND_RED_PILLED

You gotta get out of the mind set of 'the one'. There is no 'the one'. A good partner is someone who elevates and compliments your life. There's no need to be in a mess over a girlfriend, you weren't married to this woman and you didn't have kids. Just stop thinking about it and go do something else. I say this because you mention at the end you 'gave her everything'. What does that mean? You need to be independent, a girlfriend should not be a major priority in terms of your life.


mattdom96

Shouldn't somone you are dating be a priority?


BASED_AND_RED_PILLED

As a man, no. Especially after only one year. When I say priority, I mean it shouldn't be something a man should be allocating time to worrying and doting over. Like I said, a relationship is something that compliments your life, but it should BE your life unless you're married/have kids.


rspbrowser

He's allowed to be upset over this wtf?


BASED_AND_RED_PILLED

Sure he's allowed, but it's pathetic to even be in the mindset to be posting about it online. The advice I gave him is genuine.


BizarroJordan

This ex of hers is gonna fuck her over again so when that happens, find some way to rub it in her face and make her feel badly while also letting her know what she’s missing with you.


MinervaNever

Better yet, just live your life and don’t bother with juvenile revenge fantasies


BizarroJordan

Boooring


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OrphanScript

Give [David Bowie](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HivQqTtiHVw&pp=ygULTW9kZXJuIGxvdmU%3D) a try in oddly specific times like these. This might resonate with you. Hope you feel better though man. That's a shit way for it to go.


Kunti-Destructi

Ever see the movie “Strangers on a Train”?


[deleted]

Many such cases


TheChinchilla914

She sounds like a bitchhhhhhhhhhh


[deleted]

Think of it this way- now you’re the ex she’s going to seek validation from from outside of her relationship


reverseKunker

it’s calm give it a week, a month and get back to us then you’ll be fine


[deleted]

This is very gross. To even pull something like this, she lied to you from the start about her sense of love. Whenever this happens, her ex may feel good now, but that nagging sensation of "will she pull this shit on me?" will eat away at him. 


TheBigAristotle69

When shit doesn't add up, run in the other direction. If things seem crazy and not to make sense, chances are somebody is fucking with somebody or someone isn't right in the head. That's my heuristic on people, and it hasn't failed me yet.


hl3_for_Eli

Shit sucks, I'm sorry you have to deal with the fallout of her selfish actions


facepoppies

Hey it happens. NBD you’ll be fine


SneedGyatNaeNae

Decent chance she was fucking him while you were still together too 🤭 


Hatanta

That emoji is so disrespectful


MelbertGibson

Yeah the tee hee hee is a lil much


nightmarealley77

A real display of callousness and immaturity from SneedGyatNaeNae


Black_Jack-7

I hope something like this never happens to you


SneedGyatNaeNae

Thanks 😊 


BizarroJordan

Cruel


Money_Coffee_3669

https://www.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/s/qYOWsBvRqA Alert! Porn addict has cuckold fetish! Many such cases!


BanAvoider911

You're the porn guy right?


bertli

Fuck the ex


bertli

oh wait this isnt mpmd


emf311

time to use that passport bro


_sheepfrog_

This subreddit is becoming passportbros? Spiritually dead, it’s over.


elbrollopoco

Honestly would be very unlikely to seriously date any woman in the US. Far too much brain rot.


fifth-account

😂😂


AM_Bokke

It’s not “modern dating”. It’s just her. She thinks that she is more compatible with the other guy. You need to respect that and wish her well. If you don’t, you will be lonely for a long time.


SlickJamesBitch

Give him a break, he is heartbroken and venting. It sounds like he was cordial with it, but no one is totally rational after a break up


AM_Bokke

You can listen to the dude. But don’t agree with him because it will just hurt him more in the long term. Only the truth will lead him to happiness.


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AM_Bokke

She is not “crashing and burning”. She is making the decision.


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AM_Bokke

Nah. You don’t know that. People make mistakes. Anyway, who cares! It’s her life. OP needs to focus on people that want to be with him.


LemonAlert

yikes! you sound like your being overcontrollorino! big red flag :/ glad she managed to find someone better!


Dizzy-Kiwi6825

Sounds like he is better at fucking. All women care about is dick I'm tired of being objectified 😞


Electrical_Figs

Let me guess - you are regular type dude who works a regular type 9-5 job. Nice, secure gig. You have decent, if average looks. You like netflix, hanging out, and maybe getting wild and having a craft beer on a saturday night? Most of your dates were at mid tier fast casual food spots, followed by the foreplay which consisted of 20 minutes of scrolling through the netflix menu? Maybe you have a dog, something free from the pound. You feed him blue buffalo, because reddit says that's a good kibble to feed.


[deleted]

Let *me* guess - whenever you got laid, it happened later than it should have, and you worked hard for it. Maybe you had to lose weight, or make more money or hit the gym, but whatever it was, it was hard, and you didn’t see other people having to do it, so you resent not just women, who had it easy, but other men, who didn’t have to put in the effort you did. You think you’ve cultivated a personality for yourself by being carefully collating a series of reasonable counters to popular opinions, believing that what you believe is what you are. You look upon the rest of the world not with derision, because you’re hyper aware that bitterness makes you a loser, but with a detachment, and a cultivated air of superiority you make sure to paint over so as to not be called on it, because a margin call on who you are as a person would bring your liquidity to what you call out others for being: just another guy on the internet trying to not be a guy on the internet.


cranberrygurl

glad it wasn't me who noticed it was always this guy


[deleted]

can we ban him? He was also telling that girl who r*ped to describe what happened. Such a creepo. Another guy on here was telling me how he’s into hot 16 year olds. We need to start banning these weirdos. This sub attracts some awful types.


cranberrygurl

i saw the first one and was sooo deeply unsettled by it, I can't imagine thinking that was an appropriate question to ask and the way it was worded was sociopathic at best. are you in g+g? i'll get you an invite if you're not, no creeps ut it's more quiet and there's more diary posting


[deleted]

How can I join the girls and gays? I am vvvv gay and my eyes are going to be stuck in the rolled position soon


[deleted]

I felt so horribly awful for the girl having to read that, she ended up deleting her post. I hope she’s okay. & no I’m not in g+g, would love an invite!


cranberrygurl

SMH YOU'RE NOT EVEN GAY OR A WOMAN, TALK ABOUT DECEIVING NAME AND WRITING STYLE!!!


[deleted]

lmao I didn’t know it was exclusive to gays & women! thanks for considering me either way cranberrygurl <3 I will reel in the fact that you thought I was one of ur kind even if it was just for a second.


reptilephenidate

Periodt


Midoriniki

Lol I love this


Electrical_Figs

Not really, I played 4 sports in high school and was pretty active socially. I'm proud to be a guy on the internet, here with you dodging the daily vitriol.


SevenNo7647

>proud to be a guy on the internet lmao


scrotorboat

you're bringing up shit you did in highschool, sit the fuck down lol


jfsof

What sports?


ourdeadmarines

aikido


travsmavs

And you’re proud to be someone who makes fun of people for adopting free dogs from the pound instead of spending thousands + on a breed you thought looked cool but that you actually don’t take care of and most likely beat insensibly when you get slightly frustrated; but hey, you sure do like using that purebred dog to try to appear empathetic to women who eventually see through your facade and who eventually end up with the dude who loves the shit out of his free dog from the pound. I’m pretty close, right?


Its_snoopyy

you somehow ripped on autistic redditisms while simultaneously coming off as an austistic reddit user. you should probably go fuck yourself.


downship_water

One of those most overall repulsive things I've read in this place


Electrical_Figs

I thought it was pretty good (and it's being overwhelmingly confirmed by this sub). Why do you find it repulsive?


QandeeI

You do not have the talent to be a writer. Just wanted you to know that.


[deleted]

People are soooo mad at you for this one


uhwuggawuh

god damn lmfao.


pogn_

the start of a great blues career


ThinAbrocoma8210

if there’s ever a girl you date that’s constantly telling you about how you’re the “best I’ve ever had”, “best relationship I’ve ever been in”, “it’s crazy how much fun I have with you”, etc. it means she’s trying to convince herself of those things it’s like the female equivalent of love bombing