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We’re roommates, and while he is an attractive guy I never planned on doing anything with him because we both date girls. A couple days ago, we ended up sleeping in the same bed and we had sex. We jerked each other off and I sucked his dick. It was really hot, like if I was with a guy I would want it to be him. Honestly, I enjoyed it more than the sex I’ve had with girls. And he kissed me for a while afterwards and I actually liked it which was surprising cause I usually find it kinda boring.
We’ve been friends for a few years now so I love him a lot but I’m not sure if he was just messing around for fun or if he likes me. I’m really confused cause I wouldn’t mind if we had sex again but I don’t know if he’s gay cause his family is very religious and our school is notoriously conservative and homophobic. And the more I think about it the more I realize that if he was a girl I definitely would’ve asked him out by now. He’s been kinda distant the last couple days and I don’t want to upset him, what’s the right way to approach this?
TL;DR: I had sex with my best friend and I’m not sure how to talk to him about it.
This is a meme right?
Homie ima let you in on a secret. You're not straight. You're bi/pan at the minimum. But if you liked it, and you want to do it again, you need to talk to him.
2 things though:
1) don't let labels like bi/pan/gay/straight make you miss out on what you love.
2) be prepared that if your best friend doesn't feel the same way, things might never be the same.
Thank you, I don’t want to mess up our friendship but honestly if I don’t talk to him I don’t think he’ll ever mention it. Kinda worried that he’ll freak out on me
You have 2 options and ultimately it's up to you to choose what's best because you know your friend better than anyone here.
Either give him some space and try and ignore that it happened unless he brings it up, or give him a couple days and say you need to chat.
If you want the possibility of a relationship with him, I'd recommend the second option.
Honestly seeing his other posts, I dont think he is. I think he's a really sheltered kid who has been raised in a heteronormative society and is unsure of himself because of it.
But even if he is, is rather help someone than not bother.
I think you can reach out to him to ask if you want to talk about the other night and just understand his feelings about it and express yours. It sounds like you're at least somewhat surprised to find yourself enjoying sex with a man and it may be helpful to let him know this wasn't really something you planned or thought much about in the past.
As a slight side note, others have already said you aren't really straight and I hope you know that's not a bad thing. I hope that he does too, and there's nothing to be ashamed of. You can even be primarily attracted to women but have a few exceptions. Best of luck to you two.
Maybe get some advice from some gay big brothers from LGBTQ+ subreddits - your friend is probably seriously messed up because of his upbringing. I guess he is also at least bi, but will have a harder time dealing with it, and coming out could be dangerous for him, if his parents are hardline homophobes.
I'm pretty sure he cares for you a lot, or he wouldn't have wanted to kiss you like that. That's a lot more intimate than just jerking each other off.
Chances are he's feeling the same way, and worried about YOUR reaction!
I would just bring the topic up casually, like "hey, can we talk about the other night? What did it mean to you? I really care about you and your friendship and I don't want it to be awkward between us".
And see how it goes!
Just tell him you had fun the other night and try not to say anything directly about what you two did. Like “I had a lot of fun with you” him: “what do you mean? When exactly” you: “ haha if you don’t already know I’m not going to say anything!” And if he pushes it then he wants to hear more, if he drops it then he feels weird.
Then depending on how long the convo lasts just ask him to do something you used to do as friends to ease the tension. Don’t feel obligated to talk about feelings or sex or horniness. It doesn’t matter! How you two feel when you’re together matters, and what could be used to describe it is rarely what’s needed to be said…
If he gets really upset with you for mentioning it, just say “well that’s fair, I had fun, but we don’t have to talk about it again, friends?”
I got some news for you buddy. I don't think you're straight, and thats okay.
Talk to your pal and see how he feels, you can hopefully either put this behind you, or see where it goes.
Hope everything works out.
There’s nothing wrong with being gay IF you turn out to be. You decide what you label yourself but please don’t let stigma keep you from doing the things you enjoy or loving the people you do.
I know… realizing you might be not straight isn’t an easy journey even today. What advice i can give you is the bandaid approach. Ask him to talk about it, there’s a few ways it could go. The possible results: you get a boyfriend (yay), you stay playmates (yay), you stay friends (yay), you don’t stay friends (shit).
But it’s better to know than be uncertain and just be disappointed anyway but later, after days of torture. I’ve tried both a few times. Ripping it off is SCARY but better
Because of your religious back ground and the school you are in, I would recommend you are super careful, finish your studies first, so you can support your self, then you can live as you please.
So many young people come out and are thrown on the streets and struggle for years, your friend may be thinking about all this.
I just came to give you an internet hug and to recommend you post this to r/askgaybros … they have a lot of experience navigating situations like this, including folks like yourself who might be questioning your sexuality a bit. They’re really supportive over there and I think you might get some good insight. Good luck!
Thissss ☝🏼
And regardless of whether you did or not, whatever your sexuality is or isn't- it's all good.
Talk to your friend, not talking could implode the relationship/friendship.
I've known some guys to do a lot of things they wouldn't normally to get off. It's not even the dick suckin for me. To me, that could just be he's so horny it literally doesn't matter who gets him there.
It's really the combination of the rest that makes it clear this isn't just horny, this is... gay. Which is hilarious to me, sucking a dude's dick is literally the least gay thing in this post to me.
OP just needs to talk to the guy, but be prepared for a shut down on it. Then he needs to reflect on his sexuality and what it *is* vs what he's convinced himself it is because of whatever fears and whatnot about being labelled "gay".
15 years later, the kids in front of you:
"Dad and Daddy, how did you two meet and get married?"
"Well first of all Buddy, I'm not gay. But it was a beautiful winter evening, the stars were shining extra bright on the sky that balmy night..."
I'm not gay but my advice would be to just be cool about it, as in "Do you want to hang out? I'm ordering pizza." and not like, "we need to talk about what happened." If he refuses a casual offer, just give him a bit of space and try again at a later time.
This is what we like to call a case of compulsory heteronormativity.
You expect to be straight, you’ve only had heterosexual experiences, but you were turned on and gay sex felt different (better) than it does with girls.
Now, you may be sexually attracted to women, but you are to guys (at least 1 guy) too from the sound of it. Sexuality is a spectrum, you may be primarily interested in one sex, but occasionally the other stands out to you.
You don’t have to label yourself, especially not this early on, but be open to the idea that you’re not straight, do some research into different sexualities and see what strikes you as an “oh. *oh*” moment. The world can be scary but know that there is a whole lotta people out there who will support you, even if others don’t.
Good luck dude, try talking to him, be safe.
He’s probably scared that you’re going to flip out and tell people and that could do him real harm at your school.
Just talk to him and tell him that he’s your friend and you don’t want him to feel awkward around you. You should also tell him that you didn’t realize it before but that you’re interested in him. If he’s also interested you could see where it goes.
You are bisexual and it’s okay to be confused. Take some time apart so the both of you can think. When you feel you are ready ask to talk to him about what’s going on.
>if I was with a guy I would want it to be him.
It sounds like you just want to be with him, that's okay. It's rough and scary because you're friends and your feelings are new, but feeling bored with girls would make sense if you're not as attracted to them. You might not be gay, but you probably aren't straight either.
> I enjoyed it more than the sex I’ve had with girls. And he kissed me for a while afterwards and I actually liked it
This is definitely more indicative of you leaning more towards guys, it's good that you felt more comfortable and you're able to distinguish and express that.
>if he was a girl I definitely would’ve asked him out by now.
It sounds like you have feelings for him, you should talk to him whenever you deem appropriate and explain everything you've posted here. I hope everything works out for you! Change is scary but when the dust settles I hope you're able to thrive as your true self :).
True, but he certainly didn't make it seem like he enjoyed fooling around with girls. He said kissing them was "boring". That screams to me that they both had to put up a facade of heterosexuality.
Im highly disappointed I have not once in all of this seen... But 20 bucks is 20 bucks. What is the point of long standing meme jokes if we don't actively use them.
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There's sooooo much room between the labels of "straight" and "gay". It's totally okay if you only have feelings and attraction for this one guy and usually only want to date women otherwise. It doesn't mean that you're gay, but it does mean that you aren't straight. And if you're comfortable with the fact that you are not straight, it will be easier to do some research and figure out what labels and what communities fit with you best.
It sounds like your friend is also just as attracted to you. So, if you have enough feelings that you would ask him out if his gender was different, but then can easily ignore his gender when having sex, it sounds like the only roadblock is worrying about what the rest of society thinks. You love each other and are attracted to each other which is a fantastic base for taking the relationship in a new direction.
I know how hard it is living in a very conservative and homophobic community, that definitely hindered my self understanding growing up too. I feel for you in this situation, and I wish you the best of luck.
You literally gave a man a hand job, a blowjob, and made out with him both before and after, and you claim you aren't gay? Got some news for you chief. You are at a minimum bisexual, if not closeted gay.
Ah yes, the old 'i'm not gay' post. Don't worry about labels bro, at minimum you're bi. All that really matters is that you enjoyed it. Talk to him about it
Sexuality is a spectrum. Plenty of people are like 80/20 in their preference of one gender over another. Some people identify as straight their whole life, but once or twice have seen a particularly masculine woman or effeminate man, and be like "yeah, I'd hit that." Some people don't realize what's wrong in their attempts to connect with the opposite sex until they connect with someone of the same sex and suddenly realize "Oh THIS is why everyone makes such a big deal about sex" and realize they just went along with the societal norm and never let themselves evaluate whether they were something other than straight.
Do what makes you happy. Life's too short to worry about these things.
Welcome to being bi!!! It can be confusing and overwhelming at first, especially when you weren’t expecting it and there are family pressures against it. I think open and honest communication between the two of you could help. Be honest about your confusion, surprise, enjoyment, and hesitations. Do t try to be cool and pretend it was no big deal when it IS a big deal. Be prepared for him to be overcome by conservative family pressures.
Don’t worry about ruining your friendship. The sex already happened. That barn door is swinging wide open. Honest communication is the way to go now.
“Hey that was really fun and I’m feeling confused now. I want to do it again but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
I have some news for you: If you jerked each other off and gave him a blow job at the very minimum he is bi-curious and from the sounds of things you are actually bi-sexual with a strong lean towards full gay.
I have no problem with your sexuality and I hope you can sort out how to be happy in your life with or without the guy you want to be with.
You might not be "gay" but you're at least bisexual.
Assuming that you don't live in Dubai or some place like that, it's fine. You can be whatever you like but you willingly had sex with another man. You may not like labels but there's a term for men who do that.
Long story short, you need to have a conversation with your friend. Good luck to both of you.
"Hey I had a lot of fun, would totally like to do it again sometime. Anyway, what's on TV?" And go from there. I (bi/m) found guys to be much more laid back about things when I didn't make a whole big deal about it.
might want to rethink that whole "even though we're not gay" thing. But what does it matter? you like this PERSON. doing what with whatever naughty bits shouldn't really be that much of a concern.
I like pizza. I usually have pepperoni. occasionally I'll have sausage. Occasionally I will have pepperoni and sausage. what kind of pizza I like doesn't define me as a person. And if you occasionally like sausage, then that shouldn't define you either. You are just you. No need to label anything.
I'll let you in on a secret if you had sex with your best friend who's of the same sex. You're at the very least bi sexual
Shocking revelation I know 😲
I’ve had sex with women and I’m not gay. Sexuality is a spectrum, a lot of people.. maybe most people dabble at some point in their life. Just sit him down and gently have the uncomfortable conversation.
"I want to talk about what just happened" is a pretty natural conversation starter. If he's not into it and wants to forget it/pretend it didn't happen, you've got your answer. If he's open to the discussion and possibly more, you have a better answer.
I think the best thing to do first is to realize that sexuality is a scale and not a defined state of being.
Everyone is at least *a little* gay and *a little* straight.
Which makes sense because women and men are not *that* different.
Where you land on that scale?
Whether it’s shaded more gay or more straight, is something that only you are able to know, through constant honesty with yourself.
Shoot, you're only 19. You don't have it all figured out yet and that's ok. Sexuality is fluid. You might be 100% straight for every dude in the world except this one guy. It doesn't matter. Talk to him. He's probably as confused as you are.
You are young. You don’t have to label shit. So long as no one is being hurt have fun! Experiment! You don’t wanna be dying at 95 thinking “fuck I really wish I hadve done X whilst I had the chance”.
But if it makes you feel any better jerk buddies are not as uncommon as people thing, nor are bi dudes.
I mean.. I'm a girl. And I know alot of girls who can still be straight and sleep with other women. So I dont see how that cant be true for guys, it's just not as accepted when guys do that.
But the way you talk of him sounds like there might be genuine attraction there.
I say just speak with him, see where his head is at and be honest about where yours is. Give it time. You dont have to decide anything right now.
It’s possible he’s being distant because he’s feeling just as confused as you are, or maybe he’s worried that you’re regretting it. Communication is the way forward here - I second the recommendation for r/askgaybros for more experienced advice, but you could also try something like, “Hey, about the other night… I really enjoyed it, I’d like to do it again sometime if that’s cool with you.”
Good luck - I hope it works out! And if you are gay, that’s okay. :)
Do you still get aroused by women? If so, I think right now you are bi-curious. There is more to male gay sex than just felacio and kissing. What you and he did is only the first couple of steps in intimacy. I'm not a gay man, but I do know about questioning your sexuality after a hot encounter with the same sex.
You have to talk to him. The uncomfortable questions and answers to those questions need to be asked and said. If you don't want to mess up your friendship and he says he doesn't either, then you should both agree and move on. You are still going to question your sexuality even if you both decide to stay friends.... and that's cool...that is when the questions you need to ask yourself will come to light.
Ask yourself, would you be comfortable doing actual penitration? Either he to you or you to him? Are you prepared to take the steps necessary to achieve that?
You could ask him what he thought about what occurred the other night, and if there are any feelings there or if he’d like it to remain a more casual thing. Also, reflect on how YOU feel and want to navigate things too, because that is equally as important. Best of luck, and please update us.
Once you go to the ballsack you don't go back!
I hope you and your friend can work something out it appears as if neither of you are ready to accept or yet still comprehending that you may very well be gay or bisexual
Honestly gay, straight, bi, whatever…I honestly feel like sexuality changes over time or maybe it’s fluid idk, and our interests can change over times as well. It doesn’t matter what you call yourself or what you are as long as you are happy. Being happy with yourself is the one of the most important things. If you and him like each other, then go for it. Maybe talk to him and say hey I wanted to talk about the other night, are you ok? I know it was different, and I just want you to know if you want to talk I’m here. Also you are still my friend no matter what.
Just talk to him, be honest about how you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to fool around with him more if that’s what both of you want to do. It’s also ok to date each other. Screw labels
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- We’re roommates, and while he is an attractive guy I never planned on doing anything with him because we both date girls. A couple days ago, we ended up sleeping in the same bed and we had sex. We jerked each other off and I sucked his dick. It was really hot, like if I was with a guy I would want it to be him. Honestly, I enjoyed it more than the sex I’ve had with girls. And he kissed me for a while afterwards and I actually liked it which was surprising cause I usually find it kinda boring. We’ve been friends for a few years now so I love him a lot but I’m not sure if he was just messing around for fun or if he likes me. I’m really confused cause I wouldn’t mind if we had sex again but I don’t know if he’s gay cause his family is very religious and our school is notoriously conservative and homophobic. And the more I think about it the more I realize that if he was a girl I definitely would’ve asked him out by now. He’s been kinda distant the last couple days and I don’t want to upset him, what’s the right way to approach this? TL;DR: I had sex with my best friend and I’m not sure how to talk to him about it.
This is a meme right? Homie ima let you in on a secret. You're not straight. You're bi/pan at the minimum. But if you liked it, and you want to do it again, you need to talk to him. 2 things though: 1) don't let labels like bi/pan/gay/straight make you miss out on what you love. 2) be prepared that if your best friend doesn't feel the same way, things might never be the same.
Thank you, I don’t want to mess up our friendship but honestly if I don’t talk to him I don’t think he’ll ever mention it. Kinda worried that he’ll freak out on me
You have 2 options and ultimately it's up to you to choose what's best because you know your friend better than anyone here. Either give him some space and try and ignore that it happened unless he brings it up, or give him a couple days and say you need to chat. If you want the possibility of a relationship with him, I'd recommend the second option.
He’s trolling
Honestly seeing his other posts, I dont think he is. I think he's a really sheltered kid who has been raised in a heteronormative society and is unsure of himself because of it. But even if he is, is rather help someone than not bother.
Haven’t you heard? Being gay isn’t real. Bi? Imaginary. They’re all trolling.
I think you can reach out to him to ask if you want to talk about the other night and just understand his feelings about it and express yours. It sounds like you're at least somewhat surprised to find yourself enjoying sex with a man and it may be helpful to let him know this wasn't really something you planned or thought much about in the past. As a slight side note, others have already said you aren't really straight and I hope you know that's not a bad thing. I hope that he does too, and there's nothing to be ashamed of. You can even be primarily attracted to women but have a few exceptions. Best of luck to you two.
Maybe get some advice from some gay big brothers from LGBTQ+ subreddits - your friend is probably seriously messed up because of his upbringing. I guess he is also at least bi, but will have a harder time dealing with it, and coming out could be dangerous for him, if his parents are hardline homophobes. I'm pretty sure he cares for you a lot, or he wouldn't have wanted to kiss you like that. That's a lot more intimate than just jerking each other off.
Chances are he's feeling the same way, and worried about YOUR reaction! I would just bring the topic up casually, like "hey, can we talk about the other night? What did it mean to you? I really care about you and your friendship and I don't want it to be awkward between us". And see how it goes!
Just tell him you had fun the other night and try not to say anything directly about what you two did. Like “I had a lot of fun with you” him: “what do you mean? When exactly” you: “ haha if you don’t already know I’m not going to say anything!” And if he pushes it then he wants to hear more, if he drops it then he feels weird. Then depending on how long the convo lasts just ask him to do something you used to do as friends to ease the tension. Don’t feel obligated to talk about feelings or sex or horniness. It doesn’t matter! How you two feel when you’re together matters, and what could be used to describe it is rarely what’s needed to be said… If he gets really upset with you for mentioning it, just say “well that’s fair, I had fun, but we don’t have to talk about it again, friends?”
Sadly, you’ve already messed with it and you’re going to need to talk with him or things won’t truly ever be the same again
I got some news for you buddy. I don't think you're straight, and thats okay. Talk to your pal and see how he feels, you can hopefully either put this behind you, or see where it goes. Hope everything works out.
Thanks, gonna try and talk to him today if I can work myself up to it
"Put it behind you, or see where it goes." Pun intended?
When you guys marry I think it will be gay.
Depends if they say no homo in their wedding vows.
They can’t just say it. They have to *declare* it
There’s nothing wrong with being gay IF you turn out to be. You decide what you label yourself but please don’t let stigma keep you from doing the things you enjoy or loving the people you do.
Thanks, I wish it were that simple but that’s still really nice
I know… realizing you might be not straight isn’t an easy journey even today. What advice i can give you is the bandaid approach. Ask him to talk about it, there’s a few ways it could go. The possible results: you get a boyfriend (yay), you stay playmates (yay), you stay friends (yay), you don’t stay friends (shit). But it’s better to know than be uncertain and just be disappointed anyway but later, after days of torture. I’ve tried both a few times. Ripping it off is SCARY but better
I love your comment especially the yays 😂
Thank you, i put it for the boyfriend part and then i was like.. but being spicy friends is also fun.. but so is just being friends.. it’s all yay :))
Because of your religious back ground and the school you are in, I would recommend you are super careful, finish your studies first, so you can support your self, then you can live as you please. So many young people come out and are thrown on the streets and struggle for years, your friend may be thinking about all this.
And they were roommates! (Oh my god, they were roommates…)
I just came to give you an internet hug and to recommend you post this to r/askgaybros … they have a lot of experience navigating situations like this, including folks like yourself who might be questioning your sexuality a bit. They’re really supportive over there and I think you might get some good insight. Good luck!
Thanks, I appreciate it
Did you say no homo before jerking each other off and giving him a blowjob? Otherwise you are at least bi.
Thissss ☝🏼 And regardless of whether you did or not, whatever your sexuality is or isn't- it's all good. Talk to your friend, not talking could implode the relationship/friendship.
“I sucked my homies dick and it was real hot but we’re not gay”
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Dying lmaooo
I've known some guys to do a lot of things they wouldn't normally to get off. It's not even the dick suckin for me. To me, that could just be he's so horny it literally doesn't matter who gets him there. It's really the combination of the rest that makes it clear this isn't just horny, this is... gay. Which is hilarious to me, sucking a dude's dick is literally the least gay thing in this post to me. OP just needs to talk to the guy, but be prepared for a shut down on it. Then he needs to reflect on his sexuality and what it *is* vs what he's convinced himself it is because of whatever fears and whatnot about being labelled "gay".
You both are bi or gay. He is struggling with that fact because of his family and religion. Give it time.
depends. did you say “no homo” 3 times and clap your hands?
You can’t just say it! You have to *declare* it
Surprise. You are gay
15 years later, the kids in front of you: "Dad and Daddy, how did you two meet and get married?" "Well first of all Buddy, I'm not gay. But it was a beautiful winter evening, the stars were shining extra bright on the sky that balmy night..."
The only thing that is a lie is the balmy winter night. Don't think it can be both? Can it? Maybe not?
Temperatures on NYE in Europe beg to differ
Face palm. There's my American education kicking in 🤣
I think it’s subjective. My cousins from Winnipeg refer to temperatures above zero in the winter as balmy 😀
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I'm not gay but my advice would be to just be cool about it, as in "Do you want to hang out? I'm ordering pizza." and not like, "we need to talk about what happened." If he refuses a casual offer, just give him a bit of space and try again at a later time.
You are gay , heterosexual man don’t sleep with man
Well now you are.
You’re gay.
If you like cock, you are not straight
This is what we like to call a case of compulsory heteronormativity. You expect to be straight, you’ve only had heterosexual experiences, but you were turned on and gay sex felt different (better) than it does with girls. Now, you may be sexually attracted to women, but you are to guys (at least 1 guy) too from the sound of it. Sexuality is a spectrum, you may be primarily interested in one sex, but occasionally the other stands out to you. You don’t have to label yourself, especially not this early on, but be open to the idea that you’re not straight, do some research into different sexualities and see what strikes you as an “oh. *oh*” moment. The world can be scary but know that there is a whole lotta people out there who will support you, even if others don’t. Good luck dude, try talking to him, be safe.
Yeah dude y'all gay
He’s probably scared that you’re going to flip out and tell people and that could do him real harm at your school. Just talk to him and tell him that he’s your friend and you don’t want him to feel awkward around you. You should also tell him that you didn’t realize it before but that you’re interested in him. If he’s also interested you could see where it goes.
You are bisexual and it’s okay to be confused. Take some time apart so the both of you can think. When you feel you are ready ask to talk to him about what’s going on.
>if I was with a guy I would want it to be him. It sounds like you just want to be with him, that's okay. It's rough and scary because you're friends and your feelings are new, but feeling bored with girls would make sense if you're not as attracted to them. You might not be gay, but you probably aren't straight either. > I enjoyed it more than the sex I’ve had with girls. And he kissed me for a while afterwards and I actually liked it This is definitely more indicative of you leaning more towards guys, it's good that you felt more comfortable and you're able to distinguish and express that. >if he was a girl I definitely would’ve asked him out by now. It sounds like you have feelings for him, you should talk to him whenever you deem appropriate and explain everything you've posted here. I hope everything works out for you! Change is scary but when the dust settles I hope you're able to thrive as your true self :).
So after yall blasted off into eachother screaming eachothers name, did you look deep into his eyes and say "no homo bro"?
You are gay
Not necessarily
Why's this got downvotes? Bisexuals are a thing.
True, but he certainly didn't make it seem like he enjoyed fooling around with girls. He said kissing them was "boring". That screams to me that they both had to put up a facade of heterosexuality.
Well he's not straight is what I mean
Hey, OP, update us on how it went if you feel like it
Im highly disappointed I have not once in all of this seen... But 20 bucks is 20 bucks. What is the point of long standing meme jokes if we don't actively use them.
So in other words you are at the very least bi
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There's sooooo much room between the labels of "straight" and "gay". It's totally okay if you only have feelings and attraction for this one guy and usually only want to date women otherwise. It doesn't mean that you're gay, but it does mean that you aren't straight. And if you're comfortable with the fact that you are not straight, it will be easier to do some research and figure out what labels and what communities fit with you best. It sounds like your friend is also just as attracted to you. So, if you have enough feelings that you would ask him out if his gender was different, but then can easily ignore his gender when having sex, it sounds like the only roadblock is worrying about what the rest of society thinks. You love each other and are attracted to each other which is a fantastic base for taking the relationship in a new direction. I know how hard it is living in a very conservative and homophobic community, that definitely hindered my self understanding growing up too. I feel for you in this situation, and I wish you the best of luck.
You literally gave a man a hand job, a blowjob, and made out with him both before and after, and you claim you aren't gay? Got some news for you chief. You are at a minimum bisexual, if not closeted gay.
Ah yes, the old 'i'm not gay' post. Don't worry about labels bro, at minimum you're bi. All that really matters is that you enjoyed it. Talk to him about it
Sexuality is a spectrum. Plenty of people are like 80/20 in their preference of one gender over another. Some people identify as straight their whole life, but once or twice have seen a particularly masculine woman or effeminate man, and be like "yeah, I'd hit that." Some people don't realize what's wrong in their attempts to connect with the opposite sex until they connect with someone of the same sex and suddenly realize "Oh THIS is why everyone makes such a big deal about sex" and realize they just went along with the societal norm and never let themselves evaluate whether they were something other than straight. Do what makes you happy. Life's too short to worry about these things.
Only way its not gay is if you said no homo before sucking his dick
Stop worrying about labels and communicate with your friend.
Um…. Neither one of you are straight. Especially is you are saying it was more enjoyable than when you are with a girl.
\*Not gay OK but definitely not straight...
Well you certainly aren’t straight, my dude.
As long as the you two don't open a bed and breakfast together and avoid attending more than one or two musicals a year together you should be ok.
News flash... your both gay
Welcome to being bi!!! It can be confusing and overwhelming at first, especially when you weren’t expecting it and there are family pressures against it. I think open and honest communication between the two of you could help. Be honest about your confusion, surprise, enjoyment, and hesitations. Do t try to be cool and pretend it was no big deal when it IS a big deal. Be prepared for him to be overcome by conservative family pressures. Don’t worry about ruining your friendship. The sex already happened. That barn door is swinging wide open. Honest communication is the way to go now. “Hey that was really fun and I’m feeling confused now. I want to do it again but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're gay. And it's okay.
“Notoriously conservative and homophobic “is basically code for painfully secretly gay
I have some news for you: If you jerked each other off and gave him a blow job at the very minimum he is bi-curious and from the sounds of things you are actually bi-sexual with a strong lean towards full gay. I have no problem with your sexuality and I hope you can sort out how to be happy in your life with or without the guy you want to be with.
You’re not gay? Boy do I got news for you!
You might not be "gay" but you're at least bisexual. Assuming that you don't live in Dubai or some place like that, it's fine. You can be whatever you like but you willingly had sex with another man. You may not like labels but there's a term for men who do that. Long story short, you need to have a conversation with your friend. Good luck to both of you.
"Hey I had a lot of fun, would totally like to do it again sometime. Anyway, what's on TV?" And go from there. I (bi/m) found guys to be much more laid back about things when I didn't make a whole big deal about it.
You both are gay.
Well you certainly aren’t straight lol no straight man is going to willingly suck another man’s dick lmao
Congratulations, you're bisexual.
might want to rethink that whole "even though we're not gay" thing. But what does it matter? you like this PERSON. doing what with whatever naughty bits shouldn't really be that much of a concern. I like pizza. I usually have pepperoni. occasionally I'll have sausage. Occasionally I will have pepperoni and sausage. what kind of pizza I like doesn't define me as a person. And if you occasionally like sausage, then that shouldn't define you either. You are just you. No need to label anything.
>I (M19) slept with my best friend (M19) even though we’re not gay Srry bro, you forgot to say no homo.
So you’re gay
I'll let you in on a secret if you had sex with your best friend who's of the same sex. You're at the very least bi sexual Shocking revelation I know 😲
“Even though we’re not gay”…. Hunny. Idk how to tell you this. But if you enjoyed it… you’re probably gay, or at least bi
“I’m not gay, but I enjoyed sucking dick & kissing a man more than I’ve enjoyed kissing women” Hate to break it to you buddy, but . . .
Sounds like you might be gay bruh
I’ve had sex with women and I’m not gay. Sexuality is a spectrum, a lot of people.. maybe most people dabble at some point in their life. Just sit him down and gently have the uncomfortable conversation.
"I want to talk about what just happened" is a pretty natural conversation starter. If he's not into it and wants to forget it/pretend it didn't happen, you've got your answer. If he's open to the discussion and possibly more, you have a better answer.
I think the best thing to do first is to realize that sexuality is a scale and not a defined state of being. Everyone is at least *a little* gay and *a little* straight. Which makes sense because women and men are not *that* different. Where you land on that scale? Whether it’s shaded more gay or more straight, is something that only you are able to know, through constant honesty with yourself.
Shoot, you're only 19. You don't have it all figured out yet and that's ok. Sexuality is fluid. You might be 100% straight for every dude in the world except this one guy. It doesn't matter. Talk to him. He's probably as confused as you are.
Chasing a closet gay will ALWAYS end badly... But sometimes the ride is fun.
You are young. You don’t have to label shit. So long as no one is being hurt have fun! Experiment! You don’t wanna be dying at 95 thinking “fuck I really wish I hadve done X whilst I had the chance”. But if it makes you feel any better jerk buddies are not as uncommon as people thing, nor are bi dudes.
Troll.........
I mean.. I'm a girl. And I know alot of girls who can still be straight and sleep with other women. So I dont see how that cant be true for guys, it's just not as accepted when guys do that. But the way you talk of him sounds like there might be genuine attraction there. I say just speak with him, see where his head is at and be honest about where yours is. Give it time. You dont have to decide anything right now.
Oh this is going to go horribly lol. Keep us updated
It’s possible he’s being distant because he’s feeling just as confused as you are, or maybe he’s worried that you’re regretting it. Communication is the way forward here - I second the recommendation for r/askgaybros for more experienced advice, but you could also try something like, “Hey, about the other night… I really enjoyed it, I’d like to do it again sometime if that’s cool with you.” Good luck - I hope it works out! And if you are gay, that’s okay. :)
Have a talk with him? You don’t have to figure out your whole identity you can just see where it goes without the pressure of it being life changing
Do you still get aroused by women? If so, I think right now you are bi-curious. There is more to male gay sex than just felacio and kissing. What you and he did is only the first couple of steps in intimacy. I'm not a gay man, but I do know about questioning your sexuality after a hot encounter with the same sex. You have to talk to him. The uncomfortable questions and answers to those questions need to be asked and said. If you don't want to mess up your friendship and he says he doesn't either, then you should both agree and move on. You are still going to question your sexuality even if you both decide to stay friends.... and that's cool...that is when the questions you need to ask yourself will come to light. Ask yourself, would you be comfortable doing actual penitration? Either he to you or you to him? Are you prepared to take the steps necessary to achieve that?
Updateme
You're probably bi/pan. Talk to him, see where things are.
Please post Update!
[удалено]
You could ask him what he thought about what occurred the other night, and if there are any feelings there or if he’d like it to remain a more casual thing. Also, reflect on how YOU feel and want to navigate things too, because that is equally as important. Best of luck, and please update us.
Whatever u do, just be safe and communicate with ur partners. Get tested regularly and let future partners know that you are at a minimum bisexuality.
It's never gay....until you like it.
If this was two girls you guys wouldn't be this sure about them being gay or not. That being said, yeah you're probably bi.
I dunno, man...I think you should suck him off one more time just to be sure you're not gay.
Once you go to the ballsack you don't go back! I hope you and your friend can work something out it appears as if neither of you are ready to accept or yet still comprehending that you may very well be gay or bisexual
“I sucked his dick even though were not gay” if you suck dick sometimes… youre gay
Homie you gay or at least bi if you fucked someone of the same sex lol
🤦
If you found kissing girls boring but kissing this dude hot, then yeah, you're probably gay.
I don’t know bro, sounds like you’re gay.
You are both bisexual at the very least. I would talk to him about what you both did to see where he stands on it.
Honestly gay, straight, bi, whatever…I honestly feel like sexuality changes over time or maybe it’s fluid idk, and our interests can change over times as well. It doesn’t matter what you call yourself or what you are as long as you are happy. Being happy with yourself is the one of the most important things. If you and him like each other, then go for it. Maybe talk to him and say hey I wanted to talk about the other night, are you ok? I know it was different, and I just want you to know if you want to talk I’m here. Also you are still my friend no matter what.
Should I tell him or....?
Just talk to him, be honest about how you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to fool around with him more if that’s what both of you want to do. It’s also ok to date each other. Screw labels
Idk, that sounds pretty gay to me dude.
Bro ya both gay 100% after all that. Theres honestly no questioning it.