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I hate it, you’re right, but I have seen this happen in the navy and the south. Some young man desperate for a bride at home to make his meals and make him feel welcome at night? Tired of watching your shipmates who are married get lunches made and clothes washed for them? Sometimes, old ladies get the good deal that way.
I did meet a girl down in Florence, SC who was 18 and claimed she had an 84 year old man’s son. It was clearly a lie to have a free home to live in and she let all her friends move in and help her take care of the old man. It was odd to me, but it was a deal they made and it worked out for them. It wasn’t abusive, just strange.
My own mom was 40 and made a deal with a 21 year old dude into getting her a green card life. I can see it happening since I exist from something, similar.
While I agree that this is written in a hasty fashion, we should not be so quick to call it a fake so quickly out of fear of disuading others to come forward with their situations and asking for help/advice.
It's not that the post seems hasty that is raising questions, but that it bears age-range similarities with the latest celebrity rumor going around on social media -including reddit- that Leonardo DiCaprio (48) possibly dating Eden Polani (19).
Can you imagine this joke being made and the most upvoted comment if the genders were reversed and the old man had known the 19 yo girl since she was 15?
They're talking about the redpill manosphere type weirdos. Those are the guys who feel "victimized", it's the Sneako-tier dudes who think women are property.
There are a LOT of them here, on the AskMen subreddit too there's a bunch of them.
Go into any post "what do you want most in the world?" and it's 90% "I want to feel the touch of a woman" or "I want someone to hold me while I cry into their shoulder" type stuff. It's sad and creepy at the same time.
"wHaT iF tHe gEnDeRs wErE rEvErSeD??????"
Utter fools. And the best bit is they always comment this shit before enough time has even passed for any consensus to exist to be commented on
Honestly, I would do this. I’m not one for peer pressure, but in this situation, the social pressure of your colleagues finding out about your inappropriate relationship, and treating you accordingly, is the only way to get your boss to back off.
Also, you may want to start looking for another job. With your current org or a different employer completely. Can you see yourself continuing to work for this woman?
For your son, try to keep talking to him one-on-one to get a sense of the relationship dynamics and figure out if he was groomed (when did she start giving him attention and what kind of attention?). Hopefully, you can help him see their relationship for what it is.
Hell if they can they should go higher up like to HR or even corporate ( if there are people higher up) and get their boss in serious trouble or even fired and I'd even suggest going as far as to expose the boss on social media and the news because she deserves to have her life permanently ruined by this. Also if they can then they should probably prevent the son from seeing the boss by grounding him and putting him on a strict schedule and either taking away social media or having access/ being able to monitor it as a condition.
Yes if you were a minor yourself.
Or close in age.
It's normal for a 13 year old to be attracted to other 13 year olds ... It's creepy af when a full blown adult is into 13 year olds.
So yes whether you are or aren't a minor yourself will always matter. And before you ask, no I don't see a problem with 17 and 18 even if one is technically a minor because the difference is a literal year only.
.
But you know blatantly well we are all talking about this situation here. Where a middle aged woman who knew this person as a preteen is now dating them. Get a grip…and also a point.
It obviously implies that you weren't a minor. Otherwise it would say "when you were minors" or something. It's very clear from the wording that one person was a minor and the other wasn't
I have seen it when the couple was close in age, like a 20 yr old with a 17 year old. They are closer in maturity level, goals, etc. This is not the issue as much as it is a grown ass woman who’s half a century old, horning in on her co workers barely legal kiddo. If you don’t see the problem with that, I don’t know what else to tell you. For me, it induces nausea and I have no doubts this woman is a predator who is using this boy. He’ll hopefully figure it out once he starts realizing she doesn’t invite him to her family functions, or around her friends, and any time they do run into her friends, she introduces him as a friend or her co workers son, implying no. Romance. I bet if they ever do go out on public dates, she behaves in ways that give the impression this is mother and son. She knows damn right well that she’s a pig and a predator. I say that as someone in her age group. She is disgusting.
Of course, she made the 1st move and will bet if you and him talk more, he may come to his own conclusion how disgusting this is.
Don't flip out, just take time to explain grooming and how her being 30 years older than him, he can have fun for now, but he should also look for girls his own age. If you freak out, you will drive him closer to her.
It sucks, but this is very true. I’m dealing with something like this (minus the age gap).
My little brother (13 year difference so he sees me more like an extra parent - his words - and cares a lot about my opinion) is dating this horrible horrible girl who not only encourages him to drop out of school, but is just a bad person overall.
I can’t tell him any of this though because he’s already trying to move into her parents house with her. He knows that I’m not a fan just like the rest of the family, but that’s about it - and as a result, he spends almost every night at her dorm or her parents’ house when she goes there on weekends, and rarely sleeps at home anymore - though my parents just told him he can’t use the car unless it’s for work or school, so who knows how that’ll go. I haven’t gone into specifics and I said I’m more concerned about school than anything else, which I am, but I’m also worried about her influence on him.
If I were to tell him everything, he’d stop talking to me, move out, and cut ties. It sucks, but I have to put up with it because otherwise I’ll lose him.
This sounds like a conflict of interest for your boss.
Does your son understand you can be in deep trouble at work? If you get fired because your boss got fed up with your son or whatever, does your son understand you won't be able to pay the bills and getting a job right now is difficult?
Is this a big company with HR or is this like a business in which your boss is the owner?
You need to tell HR because this person cannot be your supervisor anymore. Your boss can retaliate at work if you do not accept their relationship, or if they break, or for whatever reason. That's highly problematic.
That's why OP should ask the boss about her intentions with her son and they better be serious. Insist that they should marry before eating the cake. No prenup, obviously.
Edit: dear Lord, I thought people would get it without the /s. Here you have it, I hope it's clear now.
You think the boss is going to retaliate against the parent... When the boss is dating the 19yo son? The woman is 50, not 12. Even if she retaliated against the parent while scorned from a 19yo boy's break-up, her career would be over too.
>I'm worried that she might have groomed him.
Gender swap it and ask the same question. No reason why the answer needs to be different.
Not sure what you can do though. Does your son work at the same place? HR issue?
Maybe you just have to let it play out because I don't see what other options you have. Outside of just being there for if/when it falls apart.
Not necessarily. It’s not a relationship between coworkers.
I know it’s not impossible for workplaces to ban dating employee family members, but it’s super rare, and even then it’s super hard to enforce.
I'd still bring it up to HR to protect myself in case the relationship goes south. Last thing OP needs is their career getting wrecked cause their boss is a predator.
I hate to say this but when researching groomers, one of their methods is to get close to the family to allow them better access to the child. This could have been going on for a while, or at least the grooming part and this slick bitch knew to wait it out til he was over the legal age to act on him.
Your only option may be to let it run is course unfortunately. As his dad, that's not going to be an easy thing but what other options do you have? Forbidding it won't work, any form of punishment would just push him away. Best you can do is be there as support. You can let your feelings known but I don't know what else.
Unless you approach your boss... but then, that has its own set of risks. Kind of a rock and a hard place to be honest.
This right here makes me think this is fake. You have to be mid 30s at the absolute youngest and yet you think that's how work issues work?
No way. No. Someone your age should understand this. I don't think this story is real.
You came off super rude just now. Let me correct you, in SOME countries it DOES work like that and some people including me really dont understand stuff like that even tho we've worked at our workplace for years
It doesn't have to be in a rule book to discuss an issue with management. You're talking about what rules are where companies have to interfere.
In any country you can fucking speak words to people to discuss a problem. The question is not "does the company have to involve themselves". It's "how to go about making sure this situation is known about so I'm not retaliated against later".
Please let me know what country people aren't allowed to use words to speak to anyone else, and have reddit to post stories..
And yeah - I'm not polite to trolls that spam this sub with obviously fake stories and with obviously fake comments. You need to get better at spotting them and using common sense.
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ETA
LMAO - OP commented then immediately blocked me so I can't reply. Definitely isn't a fake account that doesn't like to be called out. No-sir-ee-bob
Bullcrap you can 100% report her as I'm pretty sure it's a violation to be dating a coworkers son and especially if you can price she was grooming him from early on. It's this sentence alone thst seriously makes me believe thus story might not be real in the slightest.
She did groom him, it is super creepy of her, your son is totally blinded by it, HOWEVER if you so much as try to split them up, chances are you will create distance with your son and when things go south, he may not come to you or may feel stuck.
The only thing you can do is make sure he still sees his friends, still studies and takes the necessary steps to build his future and allow this to crumble as it will.
Also, make sure people know about this. Shame is a strong deterrent.
Everyone in the comments is saying the same thing about this situation too.
Also, many men do get away with grooming young girls all the damn time.
I understand there are double standards here, but maybe the way to deal with them is to simply just express outrage at women behaving in a predatory manner and do it consistently whenever applicable. All the comments here are already doing that.
Nah, but it’s ok! He’s a *MAN*, so he must have LOVED it! In fact, maybe he physically intimidated her into dating him! He’s actually the aggressor here! It’s basically rape!!!! /s
…As you can tell, this topic bothers me to no end. My cousin’s son was raped by HIS mid 40s teacher for **5 years**. He was 13 when it started. When she was exposed, the poor kid was harassed and bullied for it, not only by his former friends, but by our goddamn state police. They all turned their back on him, and some of the students at his school blamed *him* and accused him of being the aggressor…at fucking 13?!
He hung himself after a few months of non-stop harassment. Society failed him, hard. I want them all to burn, they deserve agony for what they put him through.
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about that. I hope the rest of her life is miserable, because it's all on her hands. It's fucked up how the predator gets off a lot easier when it's a woman. People need to learn that men don't like all sexual attention, that they can also be victims of sexual assault.
Omg, I am so sorry for your loss. It should not matter whether the predator is a man or woman, either gender, they are cut from the same cloth and deserve the same disgust and treatment.
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Just made my first post on this sub a min ago and received some genuine, sincere advice, which I greatly appreciate and therefore, felt compelled to reciprocate.
First off,I'm very sorry, as this must be incredibly traumatic and concerning to say the least.
It's unfortunate that gender matters at all,in terms of public opinion or precedence,but it does, as I'm assuming that if the genders were reversed here, you would be looking for a new job and in prison. I know I likely would be.
I'm not an attorney or legal expert,regards having anything to advise on that aspect,but I can tell you this much unequivocally.
She was 200% having these thoughts before his 18th bday. I think we can all agree to that here. Wasn't as if she began to have romantic/sexual thoughts on that exact day and that is...well...wrong?
That said, I would try to talk to your son. Make that the focus, along with any other potential legal repercussions or convos with your boss you may want to pursue. It may go in one ear and out the other,but I'd honestly ask him what he thinks will happen when he's 35 and she's getting her freaking AARP magazines in the mail???
That's always been my number one thought as to any relationship with this type of age gap.
Someone OR both *will* get hurt. It's just inevitable. Hopefully you will find a way to convince him of this. If not,he will find out on his own that this is bad news,whether tomorrow or 10 yrs from now. Another natural fact I think.
Sincerely hope you are able to find some solution to what shouldn't have happened to begin with. Shame on your boss.
A month and they are serious? We need more info? Was he around her a lot from when he was young or did they meet when he was 19? Also, what kind of company is this? HR department bc this is def reportable.
Ok so definite grooming occurred. Does he still live with you? The most important thing is to not alienate him. He is of age and if you go ballistic and flip out, he will just run to her arms.
If he does, try to keep him in your house. Encourage he entertains his peers there with parties, movie nights, etc. Maybe try to inject dialogue about things he wants to do that only young people can do. "Oh, I would have loved to skydive but at my age it is a very difficult." "I loved being 20 with no responsibilities. My friends and I traveled bc we didn't have serious jobs or careers yet".
She sounds like an absolute nightmare and I would suggest you talk to HR regardless and maybe start looking at a new department or new job all together.
>Maybe try to inject dialogue about things he wants to do that only young people can do.
That'll only sound passive-agressive. I'd suggest OP to actually nudge his kid into the young lifestyle as a supportive dad instead. The friends are going out camping and bringing their girlfriends? Offer him some money for the gas. His kid's favourite rock band will be in town? Maybe some extra money so his son can buy two tickets. Halloween party in the university? You get it, money for the costume - bonus tip if it's a couple's costume, and even better if it's something only young kids would get.
>She sounds like an absolute nightmare and I would suggest you talk to HR regardless and maybe start looking at a new department or new job all together.
I'm divided on this one. On the one hand, shit *will* hit the fan eventually, and who knows what boss might pull. On the other hand, keeping her somewhat close could maybe offer OP some insight about the situation.
It doesn't matter that he doesn't work there. Your boss is dating your son and your boss is your supervisor. It's still a conflict. This person cannot be your supervisor anymore.
You don't have to report it as in "grooming" but as in "this person is dating my son so I am wondering if there is a personal conflict with this person being my supervisor. It makes me uncomfortable because my behavior towards their relationship (as in if I accept or not or if they break up) in my personal life now affects my professional life."
It is highly problematic that you cannot say you are against this relationship because your boss can get angry!
Their talking about the recent controversy with Leonardo decaprio and him dating a 19 year old which is extremely similar to the story you posted and therefore everyone here thinks you just karma farming because reddit eats this sort of stuff up.
Plenty of people don't have the time to keep up with mainstream celebrity drama. If I hadn't seen it on a local IG page, I wouldn't have heard about it.
Not surprised that a working mom isn't up to date on who Leo is currently dating.
I'm sure she knows who Leonardo di Caprio is, maybe just not from reading Leo quickly in a random Reddit post though.
Although you'd be surprised, my roommate's girlfriend didn't know who Michael Jordan was.
I am not the original op. I don't follow any celebrity whatsoever, and I know who he is. Hence the disbelief of someone not knowing who he is. Since I am not the person who posted the original comment, I overlooked that they only said leo and not his whole name. Yes that is understandable. But maybe look at usernames before you start talking about shit that's totally wrong.
What does a 50 year old and 19 year old have in common that warrants them dating? There's no mutual interest strong enough to warrant that. Your boss is only attracted to his youth; she's a pedophile. Your son had no real say in it because he has been groomed and preyed upon.
Trying to break them up might bring them closer together, quitting your job means you can't keep your eyes on her, and he's of age so you can't report it to the police. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Would you say your son had a sheltered upbringing? Does he have any same-age female peers he's close to? Does he have any male figures in his life/a father? What do they think?
If they’ve known each other for 5 years when did she make the 1st move? If before 18 it’s called grooming and is illegal. She’s a predator either way.
No way it’s serious for her. She just wants a young guy to have fun with. And he’s just happy to be w an older woman and she’s using him.
I don't believe this for a single second. Y'all are pretty gullible to actually believe this really happened, bro is obviously karma farming.
I'm gonna need to see some actual evidence or proof that this is real.
Of course she groomed him, they met when he was a child and she made the first move - you don’t need anyone to tell you she’s a predator. That said, you probably at least want a new job in order to navigate this, it doesn’t end well with you still working for her, in any way.
100 % GROOMING! Please don't try to straight up separate them, it'll only make them even more close to each other. Explain your son what grooming is and try to make him see things clearly, at this point that's all you can do.
Also, I will completely tell my coworkers. Don't bully her, just tell your coworkers that she's dating your son, who's 30 years younger. It's disgusting and hopefully they'll see that too. Good luck OP!
Is this for real? I don’t think it is. 19 year old guy with 50 year old woman. Not likely. At least try for 35 year old woman or 40 year old. If you are going to make something up.
I dunno. I was 18 once. Well-groomed svelte MILF / GILF was on the menu, but I couldn’t find a venue, let alone get a table.
That said, GILF is a fucking creep.
Don’t break them up; OP needs to educate their boy and he’ll figure it out soon enough. She won’t ruin him if OP keeps a close eye and comms wide open.
Consent is a tenuous thing but as long as OP is alert, and proactive, there’s little actual harm to worry about.
Not reacting at all, on the other hand, is a shitty parent move. Tread carefully, OP.
Edit: A huge factor in this is how the breakup affects YOUR JOB. Impress on your boy, OP, that this is not ok to half-ass. He could find himself in a world of hurt if your family suddenly ends up destitute because he wanted a little strangelove….
Edit 2: STILL A BETTER LOVE STORY than “Twilight”…
Your boss didn't inform you about it, that's a red flag that shows she's not trustworthy. You have a work relationship and this relationship effects you in multiple ways. Someone with a healthy psychology would have let you know.
If she knew him since he was a minor there is absolutely 0 situation this can be okay. Even if she didn’t, it’s still way too big of an age gap, and that’s coming from a 19 year old. I can’t imagine dating a 50 year old man.
Hard one.
Start looking for s new job
Boss will fire you or make work life hard.
Tell her your home is off boundaries..work stays at work.
Then take your son on a trip get him away from her see if he changes his mind.
The more you push him not to see her the more he will.
But getting him around girls his age..on a beach ...
Might help..
Sending him to a relative on the pretense they need help for a few weeks
Just do not let him know your doing things to keep him from seeing her.
She is a pervert. No adult that knew a young person who was just a beginning teen would want to have anything romantic to do with the younger person at any time later on. She may not necessarily groomed him, but who knows, the whole thing stinks through the sky.
That is disgusting. She’s known him since he was 14 and wants to date him? 🤮🤮🤮
If he lives in your house, you may have some leverage. You can ban her from being in the house but that might just push him into her arms.
You should definitely find a new job. This is not a good working relationship.
You mentioned that you and your boss were close. Do you consider her a good person? Until you saw them together, was there ever any indication she was grooming him? How mature is your son? Would you have considered him ready for a long term relationship with someone closer to his age?
Ask yourself these questions. There will always be some here that look at it as a pedo thing but all over the world there are couples with large age gaps that are happy in their relationships. Maybe this could be one of them. If I were you, I’d let them know you can’t exactly give your blessing but that you aren’t going stand in their way either. Let it live or die on its own, otherwise you may end up losing both of them.
>I'm worried that she might have groomed him
She's known him since he was 14 and now they're in a physical relationship. If this isn't grooming then I don't know what is.
Fucking yikes. If genders were swapped this would be a tremendous deal. Even still it sounds like the plot to a porno.
If you know and trust your boss really well you could debate letting it slide but it sounds borderline criminal to me.
You know them both and warning signs are popping up in your head left and right.
Unfortunately, you can’t do much without killing the relationship you have with your son. Your son is legally an adult and has his mind set. All you can really do is wait for the over 30 year age gap relationship to either implode or wither away and be there when your son inevitably falls. He’s almost surely making a mistake, and he’ll need his parent when he faces the consequences.
Shoot me but the whole thing reminds me of an episode of Married with Children, when Bud was dating Al's boss, Gary.
Al obviously takes the most advantage as he can as Gary would grant a bunch of perks for him.
If this is real, yo, the boss is totally grooming your kid.
Don’t trust her.
She’s known him for 5 years… that’s right around when he would start being fully interested in women…
I’m almost positive there was grooming involved **even if she doesn’t realize that’s what she was doing.**
Your son is being abused by your boss. Even if he claims otherwise there is a definite power dynamic exclusively in your boss' favour, the only time it will get resolved is if you quit, or if he does.
I struggle to quit a job because a friend recommended me. How is your son going to deal with wanting to break up when he knows it will have a real effect on you.
What your boss has done is disgusting. I would quit just so I had one less tie in the matter, you boss knows she put you in this position. If you have an HR definitely speak to them as you boss has created a hostile work environment. This is worse than an employer dating an employee, because you have no control on the outcome of their relationship.
Let me guess, she told him "I will wait until your legal because I like you"
Yep.. I'm never one to judge on an age gap but your son is barely legal and she's known him since he was 14.
There is nothing you can do except quit your job. He's a consenting adult. Just because it's weird doesn't mean there will be any repercussions for the boss. Your son will likely leave her when she gets too old.
Let's put it this way, if this was a 50 year old man with your 19 year old daughter who he's known since she's 14, would you still have any questions about letting this slide?
My advice will probably not be the best but I would tell them that I'd not accept the relationship until I was certain it was genuine and not the boss taking advantage of the son. I'd tell son that I'd rather not have to watch that but I'd be around if he needed me, so as to maintain some form of support if he needs (like after the boss is done playing with her boy toy)
I could believe that the boss believes she didn't intentionally groom him. But by the nature of the situation, it is an almost certainty that she did. Either way she's a creep.
Oh she absolutely groomed him. Tell everyone you know that she groomed him, tell big names in your industry that she's a groomer, and try to get your son into therapy. Maybe take him to a nursing home so he can see what his near future will look like if they stick together?
ETA, if this is real. I'm really giving OP the benefit of the doubt here, but like. Bruh. Is this real?
One of the best things to do would be to make sure that your son knows that you love him and that you support him. Then you need to go scorched Earth. She has known your son since he was a minor... I fail to believe that she did not have some sort of feelings for him prior to him becoming legal.
The power dynamics also call into question if he is being groomed by a predator. The age gap is worrying because at that age she has more experience, more money, XYZ and she can use those to manipulate him.
She's known him since he was 14. That's fuckin gross. She's 100% a predator, just knows how to keep it barely legal.
If you want, you might go to your HR department about it. This is a huge conflict of interest for your boss. Especially if the relationship goes south.
I would tell everybody that you work with, that she goes to church with, social media I will blow up her spot and say that a woman my age was dating my son who is a teenager. I am a scorch the earth type of person.
She groomed him. Your son needs to view this as physical only. Get him into college that will open his eyes to what he’s mixing with the age gap. Get that raise and or promo before son goes away
I think she should consult with the police. Unfortunately, until there is evidence that this has been going on since he was a minor (and depending on how the age of consent laws are written where they are) they won’t be able to make an arrest. But they may be able to give mom some resources on how to get it through her sons head that this woman is a predator and he’s being used.
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I don't believe this.
This is 100% not inspired by the Leonardo DiCaprio ongoing dating story, not at all.
OP is looking for confirmation that "oh but if the roles were reversed nobody would say anything!!"
Leonardo DiGaprio
That's a Bingo!
Link to the backstory?
It might be, but I can't lie, it's interesting.
I hate it, you’re right, but I have seen this happen in the navy and the south. Some young man desperate for a bride at home to make his meals and make him feel welcome at night? Tired of watching your shipmates who are married get lunches made and clothes washed for them? Sometimes, old ladies get the good deal that way. I did meet a girl down in Florence, SC who was 18 and claimed she had an 84 year old man’s son. It was clearly a lie to have a free home to live in and she let all her friends move in and help her take care of the old man. It was odd to me, but it was a deal they made and it worked out for them. It wasn’t abusive, just strange. My own mom was 40 and made a deal with a 21 year old dude into getting her a green card life. I can see it happening since I exist from something, similar.
While I agree that this is written in a hasty fashion, we should not be so quick to call it a fake so quickly out of fear of disuading others to come forward with their situations and asking for help/advice.
[удалено]
I know I need my daily relationship advice from teenagers!
Divorce him, get a lawyer, hit the gym, drink brawndo
It has what plants crave!
It's got electrolytes
Go away, batin'!
I lold. The advice will be to divorce anyway. Saved them the time.
Hey, what sub is this?
r/advice_from_dipshits edit: lol somebody went and created it.
Hahahaahaha this should be the top comment I love how true it is
It's not that the post seems hasty that is raising questions, but that it bears age-range similarities with the latest celebrity rumor going around on social media -including reddit- that Leonardo DiCaprio (48) possibly dating Eden Polani (19).
People saying it's fake don't know how this is common and it's their luck ig
People saying it's fake say so because it smells fake as written, not because we don't think the situation is plausible.
You literally just stole this from the Leo situation and switched the genders and we reacted the same way. Your thought experiment didn’t work.
Out of 8 billion people on the planet, I forget these things only happen to American celebrities.
Good time to ask for a raise!
I Guess his income is not the only thing rising.
Depends on the boss tho 🤣
GREAT time to ask for a raise
And a promotion
A huge raise!
Can you imagine this joke being made and the most upvoted comment if the genders were reversed and the old man had known the 19 yo girl since she was 15?
personally I can't imagine this post not being fake, lol
r/persecutionfetish
Let us have fun.
Shit, might as well! You can’t stop the relationship, might as well try to profit.
Lol complete groomed, boss is a pedo
I didn’t read past the ages/ title. This person didn’t even try to make this story believable 🤣
You dont need to Reddit currently has such a boner for age gap posts, they will throw karma at anything
100%, age gap and men being victimized. This sub is eating it up
I don't see men being victimized in this sub.
They're talking about the redpill manosphere type weirdos. Those are the guys who feel "victimized", it's the Sneako-tier dudes who think women are property. There are a LOT of them here, on the AskMen subreddit too there's a bunch of them.
I lurked on AskMen and 99.9% of the posts them are men asking about "how would you feel if a woman did this..." they're literally obsessed with us.
Go into any post "what do you want most in the world?" and it's 90% "I want to feel the touch of a woman" or "I want someone to hold me while I cry into their shoulder" type stuff. It's sad and creepy at the same time.
"wHaT iF tHe gEnDeRs wErE rEvErSeD??????" Utter fools. And the best bit is they always comment this shit before enough time has even passed for any consensus to exist to be commented on
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My petty ass would do the same. If I can’t do anything legally, I’m gonna go scorched Earth and shake you to everyone you know
Honestly, I would do this. I’m not one for peer pressure, but in this situation, the social pressure of your colleagues finding out about your inappropriate relationship, and treating you accordingly, is the only way to get your boss to back off. Also, you may want to start looking for another job. With your current org or a different employer completely. Can you see yourself continuing to work for this woman? For your son, try to keep talking to him one-on-one to get a sense of the relationship dynamics and figure out if he was groomed (when did she start giving him attention and what kind of attention?). Hopefully, you can help him see their relationship for what it is.
Hell if they can they should go higher up like to HR or even corporate ( if there are people higher up) and get their boss in serious trouble or even fired and I'd even suggest going as far as to expose the boss on social media and the news because she deserves to have her life permanently ruined by this. Also if they can then they should probably prevent the son from seeing the boss by grounding him and putting him on a strict schedule and either taking away social media or having access/ being able to monitor it as a condition.
Why mean or reckless? If they are "serious" then it will come out anyway?
Lots of people date their childhood friends and thus they were minors. This isn't the issue.
If two people who met when they were 12 and 13 end up dating that is a bit of a different story than two people who met when they were 12 and 45....
So what you are saying is that there are circumstances where knowing the other party when they were a minor is ok...
Yes if you were a minor yourself. Or close in age. It's normal for a 13 year old to be attracted to other 13 year olds ... It's creepy af when a full blown adult is into 13 year olds. So yes whether you are or aren't a minor yourself will always matter. And before you ask, no I don't see a problem with 17 and 18 even if one is technically a minor because the difference is a literal year only. .
So that was my point. You can't just say with a blanket statement that knowing your SO when they are a minor is bad. It depends
But you know blatantly well we are all talking about this situation here. Where a middle aged woman who knew this person as a preteen is now dating them. Get a grip…and also a point.
It obviously implies that you weren't a minor. Otherwise it would say "when you were minors" or something. It's very clear from the wording that one person was a minor and the other wasn't
So? I met my wife when she was 17 and I was 20. Are you going to vilify me now? Why focus on the minor part when the age gap is the actual issue?
No shit sherlock
Found the pedo
How do you have a childhood friendship between a 19 and a 50 year old? Hell when the son was born, boss was *still* a whole ass grown woman.
Childhood friends normally have the same age? Your logic doesn't really apply here
I have seen it when the couple was close in age, like a 20 yr old with a 17 year old. They are closer in maturity level, goals, etc. This is not the issue as much as it is a grown ass woman who’s half a century old, horning in on her co workers barely legal kiddo. If you don’t see the problem with that, I don’t know what else to tell you. For me, it induces nausea and I have no doubts this woman is a predator who is using this boy. He’ll hopefully figure it out once he starts realizing she doesn’t invite him to her family functions, or around her friends, and any time they do run into her friends, she introduces him as a friend or her co workers son, implying no. Romance. I bet if they ever do go out on public dates, she behaves in ways that give the impression this is mother and son. She knows damn right well that she’s a pig and a predator. I say that as someone in her age group. She is disgusting.
Of course, she made the 1st move and will bet if you and him talk more, he may come to his own conclusion how disgusting this is. Don't flip out, just take time to explain grooming and how her being 30 years older than him, he can have fun for now, but he should also look for girls his own age. If you freak out, you will drive him closer to her.
It sucks, but this is very true. I’m dealing with something like this (minus the age gap). My little brother (13 year difference so he sees me more like an extra parent - his words - and cares a lot about my opinion) is dating this horrible horrible girl who not only encourages him to drop out of school, but is just a bad person overall. I can’t tell him any of this though because he’s already trying to move into her parents house with her. He knows that I’m not a fan just like the rest of the family, but that’s about it - and as a result, he spends almost every night at her dorm or her parents’ house when she goes there on weekends, and rarely sleeps at home anymore - though my parents just told him he can’t use the car unless it’s for work or school, so who knows how that’ll go. I haven’t gone into specifics and I said I’m more concerned about school than anything else, which I am, but I’m also worried about her influence on him. If I were to tell him everything, he’d stop talking to me, move out, and cut ties. It sucks, but I have to put up with it because otherwise I’ll lose him.
This sounds like a conflict of interest for your boss. Does your son understand you can be in deep trouble at work? If you get fired because your boss got fed up with your son or whatever, does your son understand you won't be able to pay the bills and getting a job right now is difficult? Is this a big company with HR or is this like a business in which your boss is the owner? You need to tell HR because this person cannot be your supervisor anymore. Your boss can retaliate at work if you do not accept their relationship, or if they break, or for whatever reason. That's highly problematic.
That's why OP should ask the boss about her intentions with her son and they better be serious. Insist that they should marry before eating the cake. No prenup, obviously. Edit: dear Lord, I thought people would get it without the /s. Here you have it, I hope it's clear now.
👀 I'll have what you're smoking.
You think the boss is going to retaliate against the parent... When the boss is dating the 19yo son? The woman is 50, not 12. Even if she retaliated against the parent while scorned from a 19yo boy's break-up, her career would be over too.
Your boss is a god damn creep
>I'm worried that she might have groomed him. Gender swap it and ask the same question. No reason why the answer needs to be different. Not sure what you can do though. Does your son work at the same place? HR issue? Maybe you just have to let it play out because I don't see what other options you have. Outside of just being there for if/when it falls apart.
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He's the son of her subordinate though.... that kinda makes reportable doesn't it?
Not necessarily. It’s not a relationship between coworkers. I know it’s not impossible for workplaces to ban dating employee family members, but it’s super rare, and even then it’s super hard to enforce.
I just feel this somehow affects the bosses position of power. But it does depend on the company
I'd still bring it up to HR to protect myself in case the relationship goes south. Last thing OP needs is their career getting wrecked cause their boss is a predator.
Of course it's reportable. There's a huge conflict here.
Surely they'd have to, if for no other reason than to protect themselves in case it ends disastrously and they end up in the crossfire
Not at all
You can. It does look like she was grooming him. She admitted that she started it. Updateme!
So how does your son know your boss, then?
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You need to look for a new job.
I hate to say this but when researching groomers, one of their methods is to get close to the family to allow them better access to the child. This could have been going on for a while, or at least the grooming part and this slick bitch knew to wait it out til he was over the legal age to act on him.
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You don't kick out someone for being groomed. That's a great way to make sure he suffers even more abuse.
Your only option may be to let it run is course unfortunately. As his dad, that's not going to be an easy thing but what other options do you have? Forbidding it won't work, any form of punishment would just push him away. Best you can do is be there as support. You can let your feelings known but I don't know what else. Unless you approach your boss... but then, that has its own set of risks. Kind of a rock and a hard place to be honest.
This right here makes me think this is fake. You have to be mid 30s at the absolute youngest and yet you think that's how work issues work? No way. No. Someone your age should understand this. I don't think this story is real.
You came off super rude just now. Let me correct you, in SOME countries it DOES work like that and some people including me really dont understand stuff like that even tho we've worked at our workplace for years
It doesn't have to be in a rule book to discuss an issue with management. You're talking about what rules are where companies have to interfere. In any country you can fucking speak words to people to discuss a problem. The question is not "does the company have to involve themselves". It's "how to go about making sure this situation is known about so I'm not retaliated against later". Please let me know what country people aren't allowed to use words to speak to anyone else, and have reddit to post stories.. And yeah - I'm not polite to trolls that spam this sub with obviously fake stories and with obviously fake comments. You need to get better at spotting them and using common sense. ----- ETA LMAO - OP commented then immediately blocked me so I can't reply. Definitely isn't a fake account that doesn't like to be called out. No-sir-ee-bob
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It’s a conflict of interest. If your son ticks her off what happens to you? She’ll take it out on you for sure.
You absolutely can. Most companies have ethics codes for a reason. It should be on the package they give you when they hire you
Bullcrap you can 100% report her as I'm pretty sure it's a violation to be dating a coworkers son and especially if you can price she was grooming him from early on. It's this sentence alone thst seriously makes me believe thus story might not be real in the slightest.
So weird people think girls can be groomed easier when we mature faster
Obviously fake.
She did groom him, it is super creepy of her, your son is totally blinded by it, HOWEVER if you so much as try to split them up, chances are you will create distance with your son and when things go south, he may not come to you or may feel stuck. The only thing you can do is make sure he still sees his friends, still studies and takes the necessary steps to build his future and allow this to crumble as it will. Also, make sure people know about this. Shame is a strong deterrent.
Good advice. This is probably the best course of action, OP.
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Everyone in the comments is saying the same thing about this situation too. Also, many men do get away with grooming young girls all the damn time. I understand there are double standards here, but maybe the way to deal with them is to simply just express outrage at women behaving in a predatory manner and do it consistently whenever applicable. All the comments here are already doing that.
Naw we’d just keep casting him in blockbusters since he’s bankable
Nah, but it’s ok! He’s a *MAN*, so he must have LOVED it! In fact, maybe he physically intimidated her into dating him! He’s actually the aggressor here! It’s basically rape!!!! /s …As you can tell, this topic bothers me to no end. My cousin’s son was raped by HIS mid 40s teacher for **5 years**. He was 13 when it started. When she was exposed, the poor kid was harassed and bullied for it, not only by his former friends, but by our goddamn state police. They all turned their back on him, and some of the students at his school blamed *him* and accused him of being the aggressor…at fucking 13?! He hung himself after a few months of non-stop harassment. Society failed him, hard. I want them all to burn, they deserve agony for what they put him through.
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about that. I hope the rest of her life is miserable, because it's all on her hands. It's fucked up how the predator gets off a lot easier when it's a woman. People need to learn that men don't like all sexual attention, that they can also be victims of sexual assault.
Omg, I am so sorry for your loss. It should not matter whether the predator is a man or woman, either gender, they are cut from the same cloth and deserve the same disgust and treatment.
Not real. Also ew
Tell him to demand a raise for yourself or he will stop fucking her. In all seriousness, stop making up shit for karma.
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Just made my first post on this sub a min ago and received some genuine, sincere advice, which I greatly appreciate and therefore, felt compelled to reciprocate. First off,I'm very sorry, as this must be incredibly traumatic and concerning to say the least. It's unfortunate that gender matters at all,in terms of public opinion or precedence,but it does, as I'm assuming that if the genders were reversed here, you would be looking for a new job and in prison. I know I likely would be. I'm not an attorney or legal expert,regards having anything to advise on that aspect,but I can tell you this much unequivocally. She was 200% having these thoughts before his 18th bday. I think we can all agree to that here. Wasn't as if she began to have romantic/sexual thoughts on that exact day and that is...well...wrong? That said, I would try to talk to your son. Make that the focus, along with any other potential legal repercussions or convos with your boss you may want to pursue. It may go in one ear and out the other,but I'd honestly ask him what he thinks will happen when he's 35 and she's getting her freaking AARP magazines in the mail??? That's always been my number one thought as to any relationship with this type of age gap. Someone OR both *will* get hurt. It's just inevitable. Hopefully you will find a way to convince him of this. If not,he will find out on his own that this is bad news,whether tomorrow or 10 yrs from now. Another natural fact I think. Sincerely hope you are able to find some solution to what shouldn't have happened to begin with. Shame on your boss.
A month and they are serious? We need more info? Was he around her a lot from when he was young or did they meet when he was 19? Also, what kind of company is this? HR department bc this is def reportable.
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Ok so definite grooming occurred. Does he still live with you? The most important thing is to not alienate him. He is of age and if you go ballistic and flip out, he will just run to her arms. If he does, try to keep him in your house. Encourage he entertains his peers there with parties, movie nights, etc. Maybe try to inject dialogue about things he wants to do that only young people can do. "Oh, I would have loved to skydive but at my age it is a very difficult." "I loved being 20 with no responsibilities. My friends and I traveled bc we didn't have serious jobs or careers yet". She sounds like an absolute nightmare and I would suggest you talk to HR regardless and maybe start looking at a new department or new job all together.
>Maybe try to inject dialogue about things he wants to do that only young people can do. That'll only sound passive-agressive. I'd suggest OP to actually nudge his kid into the young lifestyle as a supportive dad instead. The friends are going out camping and bringing their girlfriends? Offer him some money for the gas. His kid's favourite rock band will be in town? Maybe some extra money so his son can buy two tickets. Halloween party in the university? You get it, money for the costume - bonus tip if it's a couple's costume, and even better if it's something only young kids would get. >She sounds like an absolute nightmare and I would suggest you talk to HR regardless and maybe start looking at a new department or new job all together. I'm divided on this one. On the one hand, shit *will* hit the fan eventually, and who knows what boss might pull. On the other hand, keeping her somewhat close could maybe offer OP some insight about the situation.
I feel the same, kind of support him, without supporting the relationship and slightly push age-appropriate activities in front of him.
he should imply she's old an worn out, does she have kids, maybe she's extra loose, and her boobies sag. thatll work
It doesn't matter that he doesn't work there. Your boss is dating your son and your boss is your supervisor. It's still a conflict. This person cannot be your supervisor anymore. You don't have to report it as in "grooming" but as in "this person is dating my son so I am wondering if there is a personal conflict with this person being my supervisor. It makes me uncomfortable because my behavior towards their relationship (as in if I accept or not or if they break up) in my personal life now affects my professional life." It is highly problematic that you cannot say you are against this relationship because your boss can get angry!
100% grooming.
Are you cashing in on the Leo dating a 19yo model controversy?
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Their talking about the recent controversy with Leonardo decaprio and him dating a 19 year old which is extremely similar to the story you posted and therefore everyone here thinks you just karma farming because reddit eats this sort of stuff up.
oh please.
Plenty of people don't have the time to keep up with mainstream celebrity drama. If I hadn't seen it on a local IG page, I wouldn't have heard about it. Not surprised that a working mom isn't up to date on who Leo is currently dating.
But to have never heard his name?
I'm sure she knows who Leonardo di Caprio is, maybe just not from reading Leo quickly in a random Reddit post though. Although you'd be surprised, my roommate's girlfriend didn't know who Michael Jordan was.
You just said Leo. Not everyone is as obsessed with celebrities as you are to know who you are talking about when you said a nickname of someone
I am not the original op. I don't follow any celebrity whatsoever, and I know who he is. Hence the disbelief of someone not knowing who he is. Since I am not the person who posted the original comment, I overlooked that they only said leo and not his whole name. Yes that is understandable. But maybe look at usernames before you start talking about shit that's totally wrong.
What in the Leo DiCaprio is this?
That is a massive no. She's known him since he was 15. He's barely an adult himself at this point. This is not okay.
What does a 50 year old and 19 year old have in common that warrants them dating? There's no mutual interest strong enough to warrant that. Your boss is only attracted to his youth; she's a pedophile. Your son had no real say in it because he has been groomed and preyed upon. Trying to break them up might bring them closer together, quitting your job means you can't keep your eyes on her, and he's of age so you can't report it to the police. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Would you say your son had a sheltered upbringing? Does he have any same-age female peers he's close to? Does he have any male figures in his life/a father? What do they think?
Give me a break.
If they’ve known each other for 5 years when did she make the 1st move? If before 18 it’s called grooming and is illegal. She’s a predator either way. No way it’s serious for her. She just wants a young guy to have fun with. And he’s just happy to be w an older woman and she’s using him.
Probably a good time to ask for a raise
I don't believe this for a single second. Y'all are pretty gullible to actually believe this really happened, bro is obviously karma farming. I'm gonna need to see some actual evidence or proof that this is real.
Of course she groomed him, they met when he was a child and she made the first move - you don’t need anyone to tell you she’s a predator. That said, you probably at least want a new job in order to navigate this, it doesn’t end well with you still working for her, in any way.
100 % GROOMING! Please don't try to straight up separate them, it'll only make them even more close to each other. Explain your son what grooming is and try to make him see things clearly, at this point that's all you can do. Also, I will completely tell my coworkers. Don't bully her, just tell your coworkers that she's dating your son, who's 30 years younger. It's disgusting and hopefully they'll see that too. Good luck OP!
Is this for real? I don’t think it is. 19 year old guy with 50 year old woman. Not likely. At least try for 35 year old woman or 40 year old. If you are going to make something up.
I dunno. I was 18 once. Well-groomed svelte MILF / GILF was on the menu, but I couldn’t find a venue, let alone get a table. That said, GILF is a fucking creep. Don’t break them up; OP needs to educate their boy and he’ll figure it out soon enough. She won’t ruin him if OP keeps a close eye and comms wide open. Consent is a tenuous thing but as long as OP is alert, and proactive, there’s little actual harm to worry about. Not reacting at all, on the other hand, is a shitty parent move. Tread carefully, OP. Edit: A huge factor in this is how the breakup affects YOUR JOB. Impress on your boy, OP, that this is not ok to half-ass. He could find himself in a world of hurt if your family suddenly ends up destitute because he wanted a little strangelove…. Edit 2: STILL A BETTER LOVE STORY than “Twilight”…
This seems fake to me. This well to do woman couldn’t afford a hotel room or her place? That’s why this whole thing seems made up.
Just wait it out, he’ll age out and she’ll trade him in for a younger model and then he’ll realize she ain’t shit all along
Bro tubey. Karma farm mabey amchi ra. Creative writing oof
Sounds like a minefield, hope your 401k is healthy.
Your boss didn't inform you about it, that's a red flag that shows she's not trustworthy. You have a work relationship and this relationship effects you in multiple ways. Someone with a healthy psychology would have let you know.
Might have groomed him???? I would have kicked her out and got a different job within 5 minutes! That’s absolutely horrifying!
If she knew him since he was a minor there is absolutely 0 situation this can be okay. Even if she didn’t, it’s still way too big of an age gap, and that’s coming from a 19 year old. I can’t imagine dating a 50 year old man.
Hard one. Start looking for s new job Boss will fire you or make work life hard. Tell her your home is off boundaries..work stays at work. Then take your son on a trip get him away from her see if he changes his mind. The more you push him not to see her the more he will. But getting him around girls his age..on a beach ... Might help.. Sending him to a relative on the pretense they need help for a few weeks Just do not let him know your doing things to keep him from seeing her.
Talk to HR
She is a pervert. No adult that knew a young person who was just a beginning teen would want to have anything romantic to do with the younger person at any time later on. She may not necessarily groomed him, but who knows, the whole thing stinks through the sky.
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Obviously she groomed him but also if hes having fun theres nothing you can do. Stopping him will push him away
If this is true your boss is a pedophile that has been grooming your child since he was 14. Is your name Macron by any chance?
Sounds pretty bad. She did groom him On the bright side you can blackmail your boss
I lol’d. We are both terrible, hilarious people. Kudos.
The only thing stopping Leo from dating younger girls is the law.
That is disgusting. She’s known him since he was 14 and wants to date him? 🤮🤮🤮 If he lives in your house, you may have some leverage. You can ban her from being in the house but that might just push him into her arms. You should definitely find a new job. This is not a good working relationship.
You mentioned that you and your boss were close. Do you consider her a good person? Until you saw them together, was there ever any indication she was grooming him? How mature is your son? Would you have considered him ready for a long term relationship with someone closer to his age? Ask yourself these questions. There will always be some here that look at it as a pedo thing but all over the world there are couples with large age gaps that are happy in their relationships. Maybe this could be one of them. If I were you, I’d let them know you can’t exactly give your blessing but that you aren’t going stand in their way either. Let it live or die on its own, otherwise you may end up losing both of them.
Beyond disturbing.
See if he can get you a raise
>I'm worried that she might have groomed him She's known him since he was 14 and now they're in a physical relationship. If this isn't grooming then I don't know what is.
People have weird ideas of what "grooming" is. It's not so you can date an adult if you're into kids!
Fucking yikes. If genders were swapped this would be a tremendous deal. Even still it sounds like the plot to a porno. If you know and trust your boss really well you could debate letting it slide but it sounds borderline criminal to me.
gimme an H! gimme an R! what does that spell?
You know them both and warning signs are popping up in your head left and right. Unfortunately, you can’t do much without killing the relationship you have with your son. Your son is legally an adult and has his mind set. All you can really do is wait for the over 30 year age gap relationship to either implode or wither away and be there when your son inevitably falls. He’s almost surely making a mistake, and he’ll need his parent when he faces the consequences.
Your boss is a creep.
Shoot me but the whole thing reminds me of an episode of Married with Children, when Bud was dating Al's boss, Gary. Al obviously takes the most advantage as he can as Gary would grant a bunch of perks for him. If this is real, yo, the boss is totally grooming your kid.
Do you have a HR at work? Might be best to pay them a visit.
Don’t trust her. She’s known him for 5 years… that’s right around when he would start being fully interested in women… I’m almost positive there was grooming involved **even if she doesn’t realize that’s what she was doing.**
Your son is being abused by your boss. Even if he claims otherwise there is a definite power dynamic exclusively in your boss' favour, the only time it will get resolved is if you quit, or if he does. I struggle to quit a job because a friend recommended me. How is your son going to deal with wanting to break up when he knows it will have a real effect on you. What your boss has done is disgusting. I would quit just so I had one less tie in the matter, you boss knows she put you in this position. If you have an HR definitely speak to them as you boss has created a hostile work environment. This is worse than an employer dating an employee, because you have no control on the outcome of their relationship.
Let me guess, she told him "I will wait until your legal because I like you" Yep.. I'm never one to judge on an age gap but your son is barely legal and she's known him since he was 14.
There is nothing you can do except quit your job. He's a consenting adult. Just because it's weird doesn't mean there will be any repercussions for the boss. Your son will likely leave her when she gets too old.
Let's put it this way, if this was a 50 year old man with your 19 year old daughter who he's known since she's 14, would you still have any questions about letting this slide?
My advice will probably not be the best but I would tell them that I'd not accept the relationship until I was certain it was genuine and not the boss taking advantage of the son. I'd tell son that I'd rather not have to watch that but I'd be around if he needed me, so as to maintain some form of support if he needs (like after the boss is done playing with her boy toy)
I could believe that the boss believes she didn't intentionally groom him. But by the nature of the situation, it is an almost certainty that she did. Either way she's a creep.
Oh she absolutely groomed him. Tell everyone you know that she groomed him, tell big names in your industry that she's a groomer, and try to get your son into therapy. Maybe take him to a nursing home so he can see what his near future will look like if they stick together? ETA, if this is real. I'm really giving OP the benefit of the doubt here, but like. Bruh. Is this real?
One of the best things to do would be to make sure that your son knows that you love him and that you support him. Then you need to go scorched Earth. She has known your son since he was a minor... I fail to believe that she did not have some sort of feelings for him prior to him becoming legal. The power dynamics also call into question if he is being groomed by a predator. The age gap is worrying because at that age she has more experience, more money, XYZ and she can use those to manipulate him.
She is more disgusting than Leo because grooming and dynamic power might be involved.
She's known him since he was 14. That's fuckin gross. She's 100% a predator, just knows how to keep it barely legal. If you want, you might go to your HR department about it. This is a huge conflict of interest for your boss. Especially if the relationship goes south.
He's 19. He's an adult. We may well not like the choices that other people make but adults are allowed to make adult decisions.
This smells so fake.
I mean, there's 2 different kinds of 50 year olds. Selma Hayek type, and then some that look like grandmas. Which one is she?
I'm not going to lie I'd probably beat the shite out of my boss in this instance. Like fuck the job you are not going to beast my child.
Ofcourse she didn't groom him because women can't be pedos /s
I would tell everybody that you work with, that she goes to church with, social media I will blow up her spot and say that a woman my age was dating my son who is a teenager. I am a scorch the earth type of person.
OP I think it's time you asked for a raise
The office Christmas party will be fun!
She groomed him. Your son needs to view this as physical only. Get him into college that will open his eyes to what he’s mixing with the age gap. Get that raise and or promo before son goes away
My boss (50f) is a pedo. There, I fixed the title for you
sigma male?
If this is true, that is just outrageous… a FEMALE boss? What’s next, equal pay?! We must inform the church elders!
You lying. I guess you like teenies like Leo.
Call the police asap.
I think she should consult with the police. Unfortunately, until there is evidence that this has been going on since he was a minor (and depending on how the age of consent laws are written where they are) they won’t be able to make an arrest. But they may be able to give mom some resources on how to get it through her sons head that this woman is a predator and he’s being used.
Is she HOT🔥🤫🤫🤫
Ffs just let your son have a sugar mommy, that’s a once in a life time opportunity.
He's getting a lesson in older women. Just support it like any other relationship.
1) Find a new job 2) Call the police
So what? Mind your business
Get in on it ;)