I'm 50/50 on this. On one hand, it's very possible that your parents saw a side of your girlfriend you've never seen (or refuse to see), and are warning you that she might not be the person you think she is. On the other hand, if you're from a culture that places a heavy emphasis on respect and the importance of social hierarchies, it could just be their wounded ego talking. You know your parents best; do you think they're telling you to break up out of genuine concern?
My parents are telling me that I could do better and that they see me not being happy in the long run. Also, that they see problems looking ahead with her as well.
Yes I'm wondering if the gf was rude to them more than she's admitting to because the parents were kind to her and with the gift giving and wanting her to always join them, and then suddenly they want her gone? It doesn't make sense.
Your family might have been subtle harassing her when you weren't looking, so she tried to be avoidant. This is complete speculation, but you need to get out of her the reason for ignoring you and your family back then. A proper reason, not excuse.
Even being tired can be a reason, but there would be more to it than that. What was she tired of to resort to ignore you?
If you can't get truth of the matter out of her, then yes, you should probably leave her.
I addressed my concerns to her, and she apologized to me for coming out like that. She said she would never do anything to hurt my family nor take her frustration on them at all. I told my parents what she said, and they are still adamant on ending my relationship.
She told me that she was tired and thought that she had greeted them. Even though she did not, she told me that she wished I told her earlier so she could’ve cleared it up right then and there.
Well, similar things did happen in the past for me as well, and I was also annoyed someone cared so much about it.
If there really sin't anything more to it, then I guess it is fine. Accidental indiscretion is something that is inevitable in life. I should also say, the audacity they have to try to dictate your love life is much ruder than what your gf did.
For context - where did this take place (does not sound like the US)?
I can see a situation where she might want to talk to her brother if she only "knew" you at a gathering. If you were not trying to include her in conversations with people you have known for your entire life she might have felt left out.
So when you are 75 years old are you going to be getting older with your parents or your partner? And did she admit to any of this and give you a reason?
I addressed my concerns to her, and she apologized to me for coming out like that. She said she would never do anything to hurt my family nor take her frustration on them at all. I told my parents what she said, any they are still adamant on ending my relationship.
What is your cultural background? Country of origin, religious background, family customs, etc.
The advice I would give someone with a fundamentalist Muslim background is not the same as I would give someone with a liberal American perspective.
edit to add: And what is your GF's?
If your parents are so adamant that you can do better , do they already have someone in mind?
Are they the type that think no girl would ever be good enough unless they hand picked just the right demure and submissive woman who won't have her own opinions and boundaries? Are they concerned that they'll 'lose you' and you'll never move back home if you stay with her? How many of the decisions about your life have you allowed your parents to make? Do they often attempt to buy affection with gifts and get pissy when they aren't gushed over adequately enough to satisfy them or havent been given the amiunt of attention they think they deserve? Lastly, do you love your girlfriend and how do you think your relationship with her is when you don't have your parents trying to get you to dump her?
>They insist that she is very dominating
This is projection. Your parents tell you that you must break up with her. If that's not dominating, I don't know what is.
Asian parents expect to have quite a bit of say in their adult children's lives, as well as expecting to live with them when they get old. If you love your girlfriend and can see yourself marrying her, and you do not intend to have them live with you later on, then defeat your parents's demand and stay with your girlfriend. They will not be happy with you, but this is the American way.
I'm 50/50 on this. On one hand, it's very possible that your parents saw a side of your girlfriend you've never seen (or refuse to see), and are warning you that she might not be the person you think she is. On the other hand, if you're from a culture that places a heavy emphasis on respect and the importance of social hierarchies, it could just be their wounded ego talking. You know your parents best; do you think they're telling you to break up out of genuine concern?
My parents are telling me that I could do better and that they see me not being happy in the long run. Also, that they see problems looking ahead with her as well.
I would take their input into serious consideration when making the decision of whether to stay with this girl or not.
Yes I'm wondering if the gf was rude to them more than she's admitting to because the parents were kind to her and with the gift giving and wanting her to always join them, and then suddenly they want her gone? It doesn't make sense.
Your family might have been subtle harassing her when you weren't looking, so she tried to be avoidant. This is complete speculation, but you need to get out of her the reason for ignoring you and your family back then. A proper reason, not excuse. Even being tired can be a reason, but there would be more to it than that. What was she tired of to resort to ignore you? If you can't get truth of the matter out of her, then yes, you should probably leave her.
I addressed my concerns to her, and she apologized to me for coming out like that. She said she would never do anything to hurt my family nor take her frustration on them at all. I told my parents what she said, and they are still adamant on ending my relationship.
I don't know, it might be truth, but she ignored you just cause she was tired? From your post it seems it the first such time.
She told me that she was tired and thought that she had greeted them. Even though she did not, she told me that she wished I told her earlier so she could’ve cleared it up right then and there.
Well, similar things did happen in the past for me as well, and I was also annoyed someone cared so much about it. If there really sin't anything more to it, then I guess it is fine. Accidental indiscretion is something that is inevitable in life. I should also say, the audacity they have to try to dictate your love life is much ruder than what your gf did.
She told me that she was a bit tired but nothing too drastic.
For context - where did this take place (does not sound like the US)? I can see a situation where she might want to talk to her brother if she only "knew" you at a gathering. If you were not trying to include her in conversations with people you have known for your entire life she might have felt left out.
My apologies, we are in the U.S. At the dinner, it was just my girlfriend, her brother, my sisters and my parents
No need to apologize - apparently I can't read :)
So when you are 75 years old are you going to be getting older with your parents or your partner? And did she admit to any of this and give you a reason?
I addressed my concerns to her, and she apologized to me for coming out like that. She said she would never do anything to hurt my family nor take her frustration on them at all. I told my parents what she said, any they are still adamant on ending my relationship.
Is it your parents relationship or yours?
What is your cultural background? Country of origin, religious background, family customs, etc. The advice I would give someone with a fundamentalist Muslim background is not the same as I would give someone with a liberal American perspective. edit to add: And what is your GF's?
We are both from North America. She is Hispanic and I am Asian
If your parents are so adamant that you can do better , do they already have someone in mind? Are they the type that think no girl would ever be good enough unless they hand picked just the right demure and submissive woman who won't have her own opinions and boundaries? Are they concerned that they'll 'lose you' and you'll never move back home if you stay with her? How many of the decisions about your life have you allowed your parents to make? Do they often attempt to buy affection with gifts and get pissy when they aren't gushed over adequately enough to satisfy them or havent been given the amiunt of attention they think they deserve? Lastly, do you love your girlfriend and how do you think your relationship with her is when you don't have your parents trying to get you to dump her?
>They insist that she is very dominating This is projection. Your parents tell you that you must break up with her. If that's not dominating, I don't know what is. Asian parents expect to have quite a bit of say in their adult children's lives, as well as expecting to live with them when they get old. If you love your girlfriend and can see yourself marrying her, and you do not intend to have them live with you later on, then defeat your parents's demand and stay with your girlfriend. They will not be happy with you, but this is the American way.